I have a drawer in his room specifically for my clothes and i go through this drawer almost everytime im at his house. i’ve never seen these underwear before ever and i know for a fact that they are not mine. im not sure if I can trust him anymore because i’ve caught him doing other stuff such as texting his ex gf behind my back and telling his bsf that he’s tempted by other women pursing him. I’m not really sure if they’re old or not.
Exactly. She just asked that he get rid of them like she wants to pretend it didn’t happen. He said he thought they were hers like that explains it. They aren’t hers so whose are they? He still didn’t answer it. She just let it drop because she doesn’t want to know the answer.
She knows who they belong to? The name is in the first message
I get the feeling she only “knows” that because that’s what he told her. Like when she told him they weren’t hers after he supposedly thought they were, he told her they must then be an ex girlfriend’s. That’s the excuse he gave her anyway. That’s how I see it but I could be wrong.
Oh, thanks. I don’t know why that makes it okay for her though.
i don’t to be honest with you. this girl likes in a different state like 10 hours away. so i highly doubt it’s her.
Idk if this helps, but 2 weeks ago, I found a pair of my exes underwear in my drawers...we split up 10 years ago, and haven't even spoken to each other in 8.
Absolutely 0 idea how tf they ended up in my drawers that have been emptied and reorganised many, many times since.
But I remember that specific pair, because I had to wash them for him after he literally pissed himself while drunk., so I know they're his.
Sometimes weird shit does just happen.
Ignorance is bliss
Mhhh yeah this doesn’t look good for you
Girl That mf lying
Not only is that mf lying, but his side piece is trying to orchestrate this shit. No one just ‘whoopsie’ leaves their dirty underwear at the house of the person they’re cheating with- unless they want someone to find it.
In her drawer, nonetheless.
Exactly what I was thinking 😬
Well that's the t r uth. I've been known ..whoops..I must have left a pair or two where I was maybe the other woman. Now if u realllly wanna say hello..leave some pharmacy sex shit..like KY. JELLY or some other shit. HE WILL HAVE NO DEFENCD
To be fair, I find ex's stuff in my drawers and house months after a breakup without doing anything wrong except not cleaning up the house thoroughly enough
what about years? lol they broke up in 2021 2022 maybe.
the texting and lying about it is the headline imo— not the clothes.
So he has dirty underwear from 3 years ago? How dirty is his house that he’s just finding this? And if he’s “going through bins” wouldn’t everything in those bins also be 3 years old that he hasn’t seen in that amount of time? So wouldn’t he know emphatically that your clothes can’t possibly be in those bins?
👆👆👆👆thissssss!!!
Girl you know he’s cheating, sometimes no relationship is better than a bad one
No, EVERY time, no relationship is better than a bad one!!
Love yourself more, OP! Don’t allow that man to tell you more than once that he no longer loves or respects you!! You’re teaching him how to treat you and it ain’t good!!
It’s done, son!! 😔
There's a simple fix to this. Ask Meredith about them and see if they are hers. Did you note the size type and color or take a pic?
if you saw my previous post, we had a complication before and i’m sure she will not answer if i text her.
That's fair it was more like a silly suggestion. That would actually be kinda messed up to include her when I really consider it.
no worries. i’ve been tempted to ask her other things also but haven’t because of this reason.
He brings her up randomly according to your post history, and he’s messaged her while you two have been together? That’s weird. You already know something’s going on.
You deserve SO MUCH BETTER
You shouldn’t have to do this much. This kind of partner will harm your mental health. Cut it loose.
girl honestly theres too many flags pointing to cheating. just leave him atp😭
Just send Meredith her panties back and tell her next time take all her clothes with her when she comes over to fuck yalls bf.
Boom it’s that easy!
This level of pettiness is what I aspire one day to achieve!!
Best answer yet!
He’s cheating with her. You’re ignoring the red flags.
Not really for all we know they might not be Meredith’s either🤷🏾♂️
🤔 Not sure if that would work, they could be hers but placed there after you became the gf! Sounds like he isn’t over her yet!
Don’t be a psycho. Texting or messaging someone’s exes?
You are being a full idiot. Let me spell it out: he’s still either fucking her or they’re fooling around. That’s THREE YEARS AGO. There should be NOTHING left.
Bro just break up with them I know it's not as simple as it is being said but to put it simply him auto assuming you thought he did something shows he more than likely did when you didn't mention it and the fact you said you've literally caught him texting said ex behind your back is definetly a sign to pack your shit and be gone from him cause you deserve better
I did have an ex's panties from years prior in a drawer that I usually stuffed clothes that I didn't use often in. It was in the bottom, and my girlfriend at the time found it while we were making room for her stuff. Awkward, but we also trusted each other well enough and understood that things get wedged in weird spaces when you're messy.
Dirty underwear is a little weird though, I just read your other post. But idk why he would leave it for you to find it he was hiding another girl at your place
Unless his ex put it there without his knowledge to send a message lol
That's my thinking. And it might not be the ex, but a new girl.
He probably assumed it was hers.
I had to stare down the barrel of a divorce relatively recently. Although it hasn't happened, a thought that crossed my mind was how intertwined we have become by living together. There are notes from my wife that I've saved, taped in places I hardly ever see. Clothing, jewelry that the cat knocked who knows where, and all sorts of things that I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if we did divorce and a future partner found any of it. In my case, a purely hypothetical but honest scenario, I'd hope my partner would trust me.
However, you did mention other red flags about your partner that make your situation a little more complicated. I guess I just wanted to share a personal connection to your situation, and I really hope everything works out for you one way or the other.
To add to this, it also kinda depends. I’ve found some leggings and other random things that I thought were mine and just never used…and these were years later. Though, I don’t know him or the scenario well enough to judge
I’m not trying to defend him or anything, but I feel like it’s important to say that just because you can find belongings of an ex doesn’t mean anything. My ex wife and I split up in 2019 and I still find things of hers on occasion. There’s no way we’re still messing around considering she came out as a lesbian.
Dirty underwear from a year ago? Lmao. Unless you live in disgusting squalor, nope!
Literally. He’s cheating, hands down. Especially if she goes in there often.
Eh I have found more than one ex’s underwear in my many piles of clothes. That absolutely does not mean he’s lying. But taken with some of the other stuff OP has said about him, I would be suspicious.
She’s putting them in there purposely so you know she’s still there
I once found a pair of undies that belonged to another girl at my house once. My wife and I (gf at the time) moved a girl in when her boyfriend broke up with her. She stayed with us for about a week and she left a pair of undies. I found them about a month later balled up in the clean clothes. I immediately knew they weren’t my wife’s (different size and never seen them before) so I asked her about it and she reminded me we moved that friend in prior.
I find it hard the boyfriend doesn’t know what kinda undies the gf wears lmao. I call complete cap on him
To be fair my husband of 12 years may not know what kind of undies I wear bc he really doesn’t pay attention to that kind of detail (and is an amazing husband in every other way). But agree bf’s actions and responses are suspicious as hell and he’s almost certainly lying.
Nope, doesn't matter. If your husband doesn't know what kind of underwear you like, you must divorce him. He is a monster.
Agree! I should also sue for full custody because how can he be trusted with children if he can’t even memorize underwear??
Honestly, I think most husbands are programmed to not be very observant 💀 I get “fussed” by my wife for not noticing she is wearing new nail polish or something lol. It’s always light banter, though. Nothing ever too serious 😂
But you’re 100% right about that. It’s way too sus. I think most men would 100% ask their lady whose undies these are if they’re not sure.
I couldn't tell my gfs underwear from the next girls as long as the size is close. Some of us aren't obsessed with panties I guess?
Completely understandable lmao my wife usually walks around all day in panties, so I have a pretty good idea what’s what 😭
My husband sometimes puts my teens clothes in my drawers so it could happen. But the bf has too many red flags prior to this for it to be overlooked
This is also his third excuse
“They might belong to “his roommates gf””- his roommates girlfriend would not be able to fit those underwear that i found.
“they could’ve belonged to meredith (his ex gf)” him and his ex gf broke up over a year ago and he’s moved out of the state since then.
“i thought they were yours” but they’re dirty. why put dirty clothes back in the drawer?
The endless excuses the story changes... He's cheating. An ex would constantly have excuses and stories that had amendments and turned out the whole time he'd been fucking the girl at his work he'd told me not to worry about. Even gave her a lift to the airport once. Smh. Why would he have been cleaning out things and decided to put underwear in your stuff like... Surely any normal person would check esp when underwear. The story doesn't add up and is plain weird.
Someone was trying to leave a clue for you that you're not the only one.
The fact that he put dirty underwear back in the drawer is weird in and of itself. If they were his ex’s, and he found them “in a bin” (laundry bin? storage bin?), thinking they were yours, why would he not wash them first? It sounds more like he picked them up off the floor or the bed and put them back in your drawer. It makes no sense that he’d take them from a bin, and place them in a drawer without washing them. The story would be more believable if they were clean. He could then at least say that he dumped them out from the bin, and just washed them with all his stuff. Or, like someone above me said, maybe the girl noticed the undies drawer and wanted to leave you a sign.
The fact that his story has changed, is sketchy. I know Reddit hates phone snooping, but I say go ahead and do that. Sometimes you just need the solid proof before you leave (I know dirty undies seem like solid proof but I also know how easy it is to convince yourself otherwise and believe his bullshit). Go thru his phone and find what you need to find in order to move on.
Sleuthy sleuth snoop time!! Pls report back on your detective work OP.
If you don't have anything to lose at this point might as well take a peek under the hood. At least you'll feel justified when you walk away.
It seems someone found the drawer and left a clue instead of a “hey girl” messaged
Yeah, the girl probably discovered the drawer and that the guy had a girlfriend and was lying to her as well!
The fact they're dirty is so suspicious
it’s not even suspicious it’s because he’s a bad liar and too dumb to realize we notice and pick up on these things 😭
I'm sorry but it's likely not good. If he has moved states they are clearly not from before then. Noone packs up a whole house and tosses in a dirty pair of their exes underwear. My ex cheated for a long time. I'd catch him in lies and he would keep changing his story to anything he thought made sense. So I don't think I believe these possible excuses he has given.
How far did he move? I ask bc you say you caught them texting, so is he still close enough she could reasonably visit? If not I'd be keeping my eye out to see if any other girls pop up in texts or anything.
But my honest advice... if trust is already lost (clearly it is bc you are here posting) then it might be time to consider whether it can ever be gained back? That's when I knew to leave. When I knew nothing he could do would ever make me stop questioning his excuses. Short of putting a GPS tracker under his skin and monitoring his phone 24/7 which is clearly unhinged and Noone is worth all that lol for me if I get to the point I feel the need to check their phone or check up on where they are it's already over. It's not healthy.
Good luck!
Having been with someone like this before dude they are lyingggggggggg don't believe it. The distracted on the phone, the bs lies, it's all a facade and he doesn't care about you as a person. I'm getting flashbacks to my own reddit posts at the time lol and the comments telling me to gtfo which I ignored the advice in but accepted as validation. I hope you don't ignore the advice you're hearing because you only get one life and no point wasting it on narcissistic turds
absolutely not. why the fuck would he have his roommates gfs underwear? i’m sorry bro he’s def cheating
But why would he put someone else’s underwear in the drawer
He didn't. The woman he is f#@king put them there to send OP a message that she isn't the only one.
Ugg I'm afraid to ask how you know they're dirty
If they were dirty and he wanted to "save" them he would never put them in your drawer. He'd stash them away somewhere. Instead he put them in circulation. In your drawer. Because he thought they were yours. I vote innocent, your honor.
My gf has these pink undies that make her butt cheeks look really round and sexy and I told her she looked good in them the other day. She said, "I'm glad you like them. I found them in your drawer" I was dumbfounded because we've been together for 22 years and while she's had them for a few years, they're definitely not 22 years old. I have no idea where they came from. Now they've got a round purple stain on one cheek from when we were sitting in a huckleberry patch, picking berries, and I smile when I see that because it reminds me of the things we love to do together.
Sounds like you do not live with him, which is good. Time to move on. This guy knows he f’ed up. Give him a pass and he will parlay that into another.
Move on. I wish you luck!
Agree, there are so many choices out there. Why work so hard to defend this one?
Look at your own post history. Why are you with him. He’s just not that into you. I’m sorry OP, find a good guy. That treats you well; that loves and respects you. It isn’t this guy.
Knowing their ages helped me empathize but I truly don't understand why people get like this in relationships and try to stick around when there's so little trust. Her post history is concerning.
😗 yep
Girl please be for real. This mf is lying, what are you still doing with him?
Girl he’s lying 😭
He did, in fact, do something wrong.
This one is my fav comment
I’m thinking the same. I never actually accused him of doing anything.
My thoughts exactly. There’s no innocent reason to be holding onto a pair of another woman’s underwear regardless of cheating being involved or not. Sorry, OP. You deserve better ❤️
girl.... u cant be serious 💀
Girl, wake up. The flags are so red that China would be jealous. You knew it was only a matter of time. Now that another woman's underwear is IN YOUR THINGS you want to find a way to turn a blind eye?
Three different excuses and previous dishonesty? I’d not be putting up with this if I were you. I bet you wouldn’t get the benefit of a doubt if the roles were reversed here.
Dick can't be that good
It'll take a couple months post-breakup for her to realize
They were dirty? Would there be a time where he could have had another woman over at your place ? This sounds like someone was leaving you a clue. You are totally within your right to demand some more reassurance from him, but I honestly play it cool and start looking for more evidence.
But is this guy really worth all that effort ?
At this point you’re enabling. Move on. You seem young, there is so much more to life than being lead on and questioning your sanity.
He probably thinks you are such an idiot. Why are you still with him? No man has dirty women’s underwear mixed into his clothes.
Thinks??? It’s way past that, he KNOWS she’s an idiot. It shows in her post history.
“It’s okay just remove them” uhm…no the fuck it’s not okay lol
I also just looked at your post history and yikes. You’re ignoring too many issues. You’re setting yourself up and settling. You deserve way better. The lying and manipulation alone is enough to say byeeeeee
I once had random male boxers show up in my laundry and I had no idea where they came from. Told bf at the time that I had his boxers and he looked at them and told me they weren’t his. Obviously he didn’t believe me that I wasn’t cheating. I just remember being really confused about where they came from. 😅About a year later I figured out where they came from. I lived in a duplex with shared laundry at the time with a single dude in the other unit my same age. I’m positive they were left in the dryer and I didn’t notice. Anyway, ex was a dud, so prob good it happened anyway.
clean laundry i suppose? these were dirty underwear.
I think so? I found them in my dirty laundry hamper and didn’t inspect them thoroughly. If it wasn’t because of the dryer I have no idea how they got there or whose they were. 🤷♀️
Why aren’t you breaking up yet? He’s literally gonna cheat or already has
So he, to recap:
-says, apparently several times, that he did nothing wrong when you never accused him of that in the first place. Defensive off rip is never a good sign.
-has texted his ex behind your back before. How many times? What was he hiding and why? Who else has he been texting?
-freely tells his friends he wants other women and is tempted by them. That’s just what you’ve been able to see. Men have several group chats.
-put the girl’s dirty underwear in your drawer. He cares so little, he doesn’t even know what goes where. It’s all the same.
So is he shitting gold? Is he Bad Bunny? Is he literally a proven demigod? Those are the only 3 things I could think of that would possibly allow me to let a man treat me like that. And tbh I would really only consider it for Bad Bunny. So, you fucking Benito? Otherwise, NEXT!!!!!
This guy already is one bad bunny, I'd think you'd want to find a good one instead.
If not fucking his ex, then something else is likely going on. Even if he isn’t fucking his ex, how are you going to feel secure in this relationship going forward?
There was one instance of another woman’s underwear winding up in a married couple’s home that I read about on Reddit, and the husband in that instance reacted much more openly and vulnerably than this defensive stance he’s taking. Red flags. You know what you need to do.
Even if he’s innocent, which he isn’t, this isn’t the way a partner responds when their partner finds something like this
Utilizing occums razor: What is the simplest explanation?
Listen to your gut. It’s pretty obvious what it’s telling you. Listen to it.
ops out here embarrassing herself 😭
The fact that he kept saying “I really didn’t do anything wrong” is guilt by admission. You didn’t say it but he definitely told on himself by bringing it up. Especially when tying in the fact that you have caught him texting and lying behind your back. That’s a nail in the coffin for me, he’s gotta go.
He’s full of shit. He cheated. Girls do that shit to mark the territory. Happened to me countless times and ended a few relationships.
You guys don’t live together so he could be bringing people over and you wouldn’t know.
He told his home boy he’s tempted by other women, regardless of anything else this should make you stop in your tracks and realize if he’s is so loosely regarding you as to be tempted by women who should be worthless in comparison to his connection to you, then you might already be in trouble. You deserve someone who puts you first in mind and doesn’t have time for temptations.
He's still fucking Meredith you're welcome
Leave his sorry ass he doesn’t deserve you
GIRL.
Dirty underwear? 🤢
I think you know deep down what's going on.
He's cheating. Really don't think you should wait around to find more evidence because it only gets worse.
You have made three separate posts about weird behavior this man has. Why are you still with him?
Dump him. What a tool. And to be extra petty I’d fuck someone and leave their underwear in his underwear drawer
Break up and move on already. Stop posting about this dude, he’s clearly not over his ex and not into you.
i sincerely hope the next update is that you’ve broken up with him.
All women lay claim in some way to a man they are with. That’s why you have the drawer and why you go thru it all the time. That’s why the underwear ended up in there. She put them in there to say fuck you. Ugly ways
also just told him “if you found some guys clothes at my house you would be suspicious too” and he said “i would be”
What are you even doing asking these silly questions? No offense seriously but you need to dump this cheater. His many excuses don’t make any sense why are you even entertaining this?
Because she needs advice, needs support & wants to vent about this horrible situation to someone which is reddit. She’s “entertaining” it because she probably loves him, wants closure & the truth. She’s not just going to ghost her partner, not everyone likes to have lingering questions or feelings by not trying to have a mature conversation.
She needs to dump him but she also deserves the truth, respecf & closure from a person she’s clearly bonded with it’s not like they’ve only been together for 3 months.
I never understand why people ask “why are you posting this on here?” Because she needs more minds to see & dissect the words (lies) he is telling her so she doesn’t second guess herself. So she can have support & advice. It’s hard to leave people you love even when it’s toxic. I don’t understand the people who question why she’s trying to have a mature conversation, get closure & answers rather than having an already bad break up be even worse by ghosting & blocking & never getting closure, respect & the truth.
Google image search the panties to see when they were available in stores
Sokka-Haiku by NorVanGee:
Google image search the
Panties to see when they were
Available in stores
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
He’s cheating on you lol
It’s either a trophy or his exes, throw em out and move on
With the context, why is he still your boyfriend? Dump his ass
I’ve found old clothes in a bag including underwear from my husband’s ex like of 8 years ago. Tossed it out. Asked him about it. First thing he said was “why did u go in there?” Then I explained it was weird and I was cleaning so it had to go, then he was cool with it and was like “I completely forgot that sht was in there..” it was weird to me that it was there and never tossed out because when it came to my ex, I threw out everything. But it happens. But then again you said you don’t trust your bf so that’s a different take..
go get tested, asap.
Devils advocate because everyone on this subreddit always automatically assumes the worst. As a guy that still has an article of clothing from a relationship that ended 12 years ago, it’s very possible they are old.
He’s cheating with a girl who doesn’t clean herself. Sorry girlie. Get checked.
How is OP this naive, wow.
You know what’s happening and you’re choosing to ignore it.
He’s a cheater lmfao confront him like you know and he’ll probably fold. Be like “look I already know what you’ve been doing and I got screenshots, just tell me the truth so we can fix it.” He’ll most likely want to admit it because you’re “promising” that you’ll fix it. Once you get the real truth, dump him.
HMMMMMMM 🤔
I’m sorry to say it sister but when this happened to me (slightly different scenario, we also talked and was reassured it was nothing), it only took about 2 more months before I physically caught them in bed together.
They start by slipping up, careless mistakes leaving clothes behind, get comfortable that you’ve been gaslit into believing them, then totally throw all efforts to keep it under wraps out of the window.
I sincerely hope that is not the case for you…. It absolutely devastated me.
“I really didn’t do anything wrong”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
GIRL YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY HE KEEPS SAYING THAT 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
How long are you going to stay with someone who’s cheating on you?
I actually came here to say that you handled that really well and I was impressed. Then I read the context part of your post, at the end there where it talks about you caught him texting exes or whatever, his temptations for other women and now I'm thinking, sister it's time to WALK. You're ignoring way too many giant, waving, flaming red flags, and just waiting to get crushed by this guy. He is cheating on you. He is lying to you. If you're someone who needs absolute proof before you can leave without reservation, then get one of those phone charger cameras from Amazon. I think they're the cheapest place to get em but I'm sure target or best buy would have em too.
But until then, DO NOT FUCK THIS MAN UNTIL YOU ARE 1,000% SURE YOU ARE SAFE. If you don't think you can go that long without the D than at LEAST USE PROTECTION!!! Both the pill/iud/whatever bc you use to avoid pregnancy AND condoms!!!!! You're health and safety come ALLLLLLLL the way before his stupid ass "feelings" 🙄
You're gonna be ok 💜 No matter how it all ends up falling into whatever place it will, you will be alright. And after a bit? You'll be fucking spectacular ✨️💜 good luck love, you got this 💪
You know the answer here. Your man is playing you. Your lack of trust in him has led you to make multiple Reddit posts. If there isn’t trust, or isn’t a reason for trust, there is no relationship.
You are young. It will hurt for a little bit. But when you find a good, secure relationship, you will never look back at this time with positivity. The constant fear concerning your SO isn’t normal, and it seems very warranted. Stop being played and stand up for yourself.
Okay, there’s such thing as being too distrustful of your boyfriend, then there’s being way too trusting.
You’re believing as gospel that he put the underwear in the drawer, because he said he did. Let’s say he did cheat, why on God’s earth would he come out with “oh, insert female name put them there after we fucked”. He wouldn’t.
You really aren’t pushing into this deep enough. If i’m being honest, you should’ve probed him a bit more. At least ask where he found them. At least push him why they’re there now and never before. He basically just realised how gullible you are.
No one has said this that I’ve read: it’s possible that he “uses” them while masturbating
You're young. Read the red flags and find another man.
Why continue to date someone that is clearly blatantly in your face about the fact that he is not over his ex?
You can tell him not to text her, you can tell him not to do something, you can tell him whatever but he will keep doing what he wants.
He doesn't see you as someone he respects which is clear as day because you tell him you're not comfortable that he was messaging her, he was deleting portions of the conversation which means he had something to hide and then 20 days later you find someone else's dirty panties in your drawer? How many more flags do you want to ignore? How many times will you make excuses for him? When will the day come that he dumps you for his ex or some other chick? Will you ignore his flags and make excuses then too?
I'd get out now before you're damaged too much from his behavior and lies...
He’s either telling the truth, or he’s really stupid lol.
Neither bodes well for OP
Wait they were dirty, in his drawer, and broke up in 2021?
If you’re questioning it. There’s no question.
Girl don't waste your time
Cheating
You might be cooked sorry
I gotta ask.... any chance you guys use a laundromat or laundry room at an apartment complex?
Only way I think random clothing from other people end up in your home, if there isn't any cheating
He’s lying.
At this point you might as well break up with him with how many red flags of his you post here. You know he’s doing bad things and just want someone to justify it. He sounds like he’s straying or wanting to stray away from a committed relationship.
Please for the love of god, look at this persons actions & not their words. Also…trust your instinct. Always.
Sounds like his ex left a present for you to find to make her presence known.
He’s lying. He doesn’t mysteriously have underwear from years and years ago. He fucked up and thought her undies were yours. You said you caught him texting his ex and stuff… he’s not trustworthy and that’s your answer.
Girl he’s full of shit. Leave him
He’s gonna keep lying to you if you keep believing him
Wait. So you catch him texting his ex and now you find her panties in his room...?
Not sure if you've been through trauma before, or are too understanding. (Which is why you're staying) People do the actions they WANT to. If he loved you, he would treat you like he does and you'd never have to GUESS, or wonder if he loves you. Things like this would not happen in the first place. Ask yourself if he'd be putting in as much effort as you're putting into him rn.
It won't get any better. Get out, so you can begin HEALING.
OP, a good relationship isn't this much work. Stop settling for this manchild who doesn't respect you and seems to be still playing the field and fantasizing about others.
You found new female underwear. They weren't there and now they are. So at some point those came off someone.
Dude is lying to you, you'll never know the full truth, and you're letting him off the hook very easy here.
Girl you are a dumbass if you stay with this loser 😬 go find someone who doesn’t make you doubt him, you’ll be happier that way
OP, are you seriously in that much denial? These aren't an ex girlfriends underwear, DIRTY underwear. These are from someone he is currently bonking and she put them there on purpose.
The amount of mental gymnastics your doing to stay in a shit relationship is wild. You deserve better, leave.
Girl NO. You know that’s not right. Especially if you don’t live together. I caught my ex hiding my stuff in drawers and closets while I wasn’t there, then found some other chicks shoes when looking for where mine went!
Um.... Are you really not able to read the writing on the wall here?
You are too young to even think this hard about this dude. He's given you enough reasons to drop him and move on. Don't waste your youth on assholes.
Yeaaa. I found a shirt under my exes bed after we had been dating for about a year. I knew exactly whose shirt it was. It was his exes. It had something on it that I liked and he tossed it to me thinking it was mine. I know for a fact it wasn’t and I told him so. I told him who’s it was and how I knew (she had worn it when I met her right after my ex and I started dating). He told me that he was hanging out with her and his brother that night and she got warm and took it off and had a tank top under it and must have forgotten it.
I should have listened to my instincts. We were together for 9 more years and I know for a fact he cheated on me with at least two other women, but it was probably more than that. I just didn’t actually find out until after I left him.
If he’s texting his ex behind your back, and saying how he’s tempted by other women, the chances are that he is probably cheating.
Now if he has a history of shady stuff, I get why you wouldn’t trust him. I had a tub with crap in it and I found bra and underwear that my now wife said wasn’t hers. Now let me tell you, when you know you haven’t cheated and you know you have done nothing wrong, the moment you discover that these aren’t your partners is one of the more oh shit scary moments of your life. On one hand you know that you did nothing wrong, but on the other hand you know how it looks.
Okay and the underwear was dirty??? this would be easier to believe if it were clean because if you’re around someone a lot, even if it were in the past, it’s much more plausible that they accidentally ended up in his laundry in the past. but the fact that he just “found them” and they were dirty points to lies.
So how long has he been cheating?
Why would you stay with him after you caught him texting his ex? He’s already broke that trust, he’s already proven he’s a cheater. Why stay with someone after that?
have some self respect and dump him he may have love for you, but he is not in love with you and is cheating
Hes lying id be gone
lol I love your commitment to look the other way from his cheating
Then break up with him.
When I was dating my girl, she would leave clues all the time for other girls. I thought it was cute. A little crazy but cute lol. Especially since I wasn’t dating anyone else but I knew what she was doing lmfaooo. Him well…. Just confront him and either accept it and be done and move on or roll it with and see what he says. You will never know is his reaction if he come clean but you will know yours. 😌
Can’t even feel bad if he is sneaking around because girl you wont wake tf up 😭 you have no positive posts about him…
Girl…the facts are in front of you, please take off the blindfold.
It sounds like he’s used to testing boundaries with you and gaslights you. He’s likely seeing other people behind your back.
I have a serious question when women find this kind of stuff and accuse their husband or boyfriend of cheating. Do you think this stuff is there because the husband left it there or put it away or when this kind of stuff is found do you think it's the other woman planting stuff so the guy gets caught?
Girl if they were dirty; he was cleaning in a hurry or something. There’s no way he’d mistakenly put dirty underwear in your drawer thinking they’re yours?
been there, done that. it WILL happen again, just more “sneaky”. please do yourself a favor & depart now.
She left them there on purpose so you would know. I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt but since you said you go through the drawer often, there's no way it was left from 2 years ago. His side piece left you a message. Did you get it?
Wouldn't be tooo worried about "Meredith"😂
Message meridith, and just ask her. I have no idea what kinda underwear my wife wears🤷♂️But, trust your instincts on if he’s cheating/ trustworthy or not. Because if there’s no trust, there’s no real relationship anymore🫡
Girl…no lol the other woman was leaving you a message on purpose. He was absolutely “doing something wrong” go get tested.
Lyin like a rug he is.
That boys a liar 🎶
Could be he’s a cross dresser or a femboy? Not likely if he put them in your drawer tho
Leave him
what does your gut tell you? because whatever that is, you should go with that. i am not sure why it took me three decades on this planet to follow this rule - but it is my go to now.
Damn Meredith!
I’m not sure why you haven’t dumped him.. this seems like a “third strike, you’re out” situation.
How long have you been together?
He said that he thought that they were yours, where did he find them to put them in your drawer?
It honestly sounds like you’re ignoring too many red flags.