I had 144 days. I am back to 0.

Be proud of your 144 days and also that you are back here and ready to start again!! I’m proud of you for being here. Shit happens and you’re back! Don’t be hard on yourself, shame gets us nowhere. Onwards and upwards 🫶🏻

looking forward to the day you look back on this post from a mountain top.

You still have 144 days. That is yours. You still put in the work and committed for those 144 days. Proud of you for going to AA, this doesn’t have to define the rest of your path.

Congrats on 144 days sober out of 146. That’s a 98.6% sobriety rate. Pretty amazing - just keep going!

A little while ago I saw someone post that in the last year, she didn't drink 340 out of 365 days, or something like that.  Compared to my daily drinking, this looked like a huge accomplishment. Her body and mind were so much healthier than if she had been drinking consistently. 

Your 144 days still count. You are better for them.  Get back on the horse and keep going. This is just a bump in the road. 

Evening. I did 10 days, and now I've drunk for three in a row.

You might be at 0 now, but so am I, and so are many others who will see this. So from now, we're going to start from 0 together.

I might not make it. You might not either. But all we can do is try, and if this helps even in the slightest - I know you can do it. Because I know, deep down, we all can.

All the best.

All any of us have is today. I've known people with 30 years sobriety that went out and drank, seemingly having forgotten that when they put alcohol in their body, they crave it, and the same unmanageable life starts all over again. Sobriety is not a competition. Even though we celebrate it, and I like that we do, the number of days sober is meaningless. If you are sober today, and I am sober today, then it's the same exact thing. We both did the exact same thing. Your day might be a little rougher with some cravings, hangover, etc. but we are both creating sobriety TODAY. Today is all we'll ever have.

For me, the key was fully accepting that I can't drink without great risk to me, others, and a good life. I first drank at age 15. Two beers given to me by my boss. I couldn't wait to drink again. And I did, and drank like a drunk from the gitgo. I craved it. This fact had nothing to do with my character or anything else. I was a good kid, worked and studied hard, was nice to people, religious---I was normal. For some reason, perhaps genetic, I can't drink alcohol without craving it and becoming a drunk. It's always been that way. And I can never forget this. I do at my own peril, and perhaps the peril of others. The first drink always leads me down the path to an unmanageable life. I did what it took to get sober.

Still, all I have is today. Let's not drink together today if it be your wish. Be well.

Another way to look at sobriety numbers is the ratio of sober days to the number of days in a year, so if for instance you end up drinking like 3-4 days a year, you spent 99% of the year sober.

Great job getting right back on track! Iwndwyt

See it as feedback, not failure.

1/144 is incredible progress. Focus on what you can control which is not drinking today. You got this!

You are not back at zero. Those 144 days still matter. You just got a flat tire on your road trip, it doesn't mean you have to go back to your starting point. Fix the flat, assess what you've learned, and keep going. Proud of you for coming back after a lapse.

Relapse is part of recovery ❤️‍🩹 IWNDWYT

You’re back here— which rocks. IWNDWYT.

No you're not back to zero. You're just back to 143. Don't beat yourself up we all make mistakes, you learned from it.

I’m back to 0 and feeling the weight of the world my friend. 144 is killer. You didn’t lose it, just a blip. You can keep going and just saw you were not sober one of those days.

Or if it truly feels lost at the moment, that means it can be found again in your time. It’s not gone forever ♥️

You’re allowed to be a masterpiece and a work still in progress at the same time! You got this

Here’s my personal views on day counts. If it’s really one day at a time then I’m only gonna screw myself up if I’m tracking a string of days. If I get a long ass run going, then I’ll tell myself I’m no longer an alcoholic and I therefore I should treat myself to celebrate this tremendous string I put together. Rather I focus on the day, not the number of days. The string will take care of itself.

I’m 8 years plus, and yes there have been days where I think I’m good, but I go to AA selfishly to hear relapse stories. This has worked for me.

That said, there is no shame in a string being broken…..it happens all the time. The decisions made after the break are the ones that you need to be concerned about. Good Luck my friend, and don’t drink today, and I won’t either.

Oh man. I feel for you. 144 days is an amazing run. You know what’s even more amazing? The fact that you identified a pattern really quickly and took action! That type of self awareness, assessments, and quick course correction is impressive - especially on that all to familiar slippery slope.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. IWNDWYT

It’s never ever ever only one. I play the same game with myself and lose every time

Many of us relapse. You made it back. Not everyone does.
We got you!

Recognizing that one turns into two which turns into many more is a huge step. You know now that moderation won't work for you, that's still a big step towards your future

Oh to me this sounds like a win! You did great.

I also agree you should keep those 144 days and keep adding to it. You’ve got this!!

144/145 is the achievement.

One oopsie daisy doesn't negate the solid 144. You done good

It happens. Just dust yourself off and get back to it. Be kind to yourself.

Listen, you didn’t lose those 144 days, you still have them. You slipped, you corrected, and onward. You’ve been sober 98.6% of the last 146 days, pretty impressive progress if you ask me. I’ll be sober 4 years on the 28th after hundreds of attempts, I never gave up though. I don’t go to AA, but have found support through an online community and therapy. AA has been a true miracle for countless people, but for me, it does the opposite. Everyone is different, and there are a lot of cool programs out there.

There is an app called Sober Time. It has a counter and a community. Those people saw me relapse so many times. There is a large AA community there, and info on all the different programs as well. They have zoom meetings for whoever wants to pop in and say hello.

Anyway, I know with AA it’s all or nothing. You drink, then the time you had means nothing and you have to do the white chip walk of shame. I choose to focus on the now and the future. I like to be excited about the new world opening up to me because I’m sober. I don’t find it helpful to relive my past, tell the same war stories day in and day out, and frankly, I don’t drink anymore, so I would rather not make my past drinking the main focus of my every single day.

Good chance I’ll get bashed for this, but I’m just sharing that different things work for different people. I’ve had some home groups that I loved dearly and still keep in touch with a lot of them. My ex-sponsor is one of my best friends, and I’ll swing by to visit my home group here and there.

Long way of saying how impressive it is that you caught it so quickly and immediately started taking action. Focus on that, because many would shrug their shoulders (like me lol) and say, well, might as well make it worth it and go on a horrific bender. So congrats to you, you’re doing great!

I will never put down anyone who has any sober time. I will never put anyone down who feels guilty for a hiccup.

I want you to know things can happen. I cant even count how many I had before I got on the stretch I am on right now.

Its okay to make a mistake like this. Its even better to comeback from it and put it behind you.

Good luck going forward friend!

I’m a former addiction counselor. This resetting the clock mentality makes no sense, and facilitates deeper relapse. You’re 144/145. Excellent work!

You've had a wobble mate but 144 days is smashing it. Look at this way if a smoker had packed in for 12 mths and had a fag and went back to not smoking they would still say they stopped 12 mths ago. You know and realised its no good for you personally and you have dealt with it properly. Just a bump in the road of a ultra long journey. Keep it up buddy

Slipping up and then getting right back on the wagon is hard and something you should be proud of. As long as you don't stop quitting you'll get there.

Two days is a little speed bump, and it sounds like you corrected course very well. Congratulations and IWNDWYT!

I know it sucks but f shame and guilt. Get up. Back at it.

Don't make a huge deal out of it.

That's one thing that bothers me about some people. They make SUCH a huge deal out of it. Put it behind you. Today is a new day.

As someone who goes on streaking then breaks down the next week, 144 days is some serious work keep it up

You still have 144 days, if you slip up one day it doesn’t have to reset everything. The important question is will you have 145 days by this time tomorrow?

144 steps forward just 1 or mayyybe 2 back. We got this!!!

I’m on day 6 after a relapse but I had 16 months previous I know we can get back there. I’m so proud of you! I got the Vivitrol shot this time around it’s really helping me

Hey, YOU'RE NOT GIVING UP. Persistence is the key! It's a long and hard process. Rarely do those with little patience, who just "throw in the towel," experience the real joy & peace of sobriety.

Nothing happened to the 144 days, you've learned a lot during that time and will continue to learn in the days ahead.

As with any new skill, there will be mishaps. I have a love hate relationship with counting days. While it can give one a sense of accomplishment it also has the ability to be used as an all or nothing form of thinking. Think back to any skill you've learned. Cooking, driving a car, your career, public transportation, video games....when a mistake happens learning those skills we don't tell ourselves we are back to ground zero and are beginning all over again. We understand that there is a progression to mastering each skill and mishaps are, more often than not, part of the process.

I started quitting in 2016 and spent 2 years off and on alcohol, with varying lengths of off days, 100, 90, 14, 167...in the entire 2 year span I never got to 180. In 2018 I tried again, doing nothing differently then prior attempts and recently hit my six year mark. I do have an app that keeps track of days that I check a few times a year and I'm very aware of my "time" during the couple of months approaching each year mark because there's no denying the sense of pride I feel as I approach a milestone but I also am aware that there could be a day that I end up drinking and will hopefully have learned that I have the resilience to proceed with alcohol free living.

Give yourself some grace OP. You have today to not drink and every day you choose to do the same. You lost nothing but gained insight in your desire to quit.

I feel like 2 drinks isn't rock bottom. Dust yourself off and get back to it :)

You have two things which are worth being incredibly proud of: you were sober for 144 days. Nothing can change that and nothing can take that away from you. You also had the clarity to recognize your problem pattern and address it in a proactive way. I would be very proud of myself if I were you.

You're back. That's what matters. I know that's not what you want to hear right now BUT...the alternative is way worse.
It's going to be ok, you're here and that matters in a big way.

Think of all the dumb shit you could have done drinking in those 144 days lol. Get back on. It gets easier.

Dude I made it to the exact same number once. First time I ever attempted to quit. Went on a 2 year spree of drinking harder than ever after making it 144 days. Eventually hospitalized and was told I was going to die young if I didn’t really stop. I’m 2.5 years sober now. I think I got it this time. Don’t do what I did. Just get back on track man. No harm done.

It’s good you got yourself back on track quickly. That’s a good sign. All we can do is keep trying.

I just went through this, 5 days shy of 4 months sober.

The day count thing has always pissed me off. If it’s “one day at a time” why are we worried about streaks? My sponsor had some helpful perspective on what it means for the community and for my own honesty, which helped.

I had two glasses of wine at a pre-wedding get together. To me, it was all the confirmation I needed that sobriety is 100% the path for me: I didn’t like how it made me feel, but somehow still immediately wanted more.

But my journey isn’t starting over at day 0. My real journey in sobriety started in January 2024, and that will always be the case.

We’ve got this, and IWNDWYT.

If you walk a mile into the forest and take one step back, you’re still a mile in the forest

You drank for two days? Start counting again from 144. You’re doing great!!

You’re not alone. I had multiple attempts and fell off more than once at around 140-160 days. What matters is that you proved you can go days, weeks, and months without it and you didn’t die. You can do it.

Welcome back IWNDWYT

we are proud of you for being back here. you got this!

Starting again is the most important thing. I’m really happy you’re doing it sooner, rather than later. You got this.

The most important thing is a) you are not hard on yourself and b) you do not see this as a failure. 144 days is a huge achievement!

Everyone, at some point on their journey, has gone back to day 0. It can be the worst feeling in the world coupled with such disappointment but this is exactly the time you should be kind to yourself. What’s done is done and you can’t change that.

Just take it one day at a time and keep remembering, you’ve done 144 days before and you can do it again. IWNDWYT.

I just lost my 35. But progress is progress my man, we just gotta keep trying

Those four and a half months are crucial to resting all of your vital organs, your pocket, and for your battle ahead. You have proven that you possess the willpower for your next phase, which is stopping again.

Bottom line- That time spent sober counts for much more than you may realise 🫶🏻

Best piece of advice I've read on this sub is to not think of it as a streak. Trying to commit to a lifestyle change is challenging, so there's nothing wrong with a slipup as long as we learn from what caused it so we're better prepared the next time those thoughts pop up or are in a similar situation. The end goal is to be healthy! You got this, IWNDWYT.

The short-lived "euphoria" (if that even counts) of the first couple drinks is and never will be worth the damage to yourself.

Thank you for posting. You do a service by posting because it helps people like me remember it will be the same for me if I think I can have a drink. Appreciate it more than you know and wish you the best on the path forward.

I had a few restarts before I managed to string together my current streak of over two years, and I learned something each time about my drinking and my triggers, so the stretch and your “field search” aren’t wasted.

You got this. Proud of you for leveling up your recovery efforts. IWNDWYT

Keep your head up high. Least you know what to do. Learn and grow from it.

Dude, 144 days is a lot of days, and you learned a lot in that time! And now you’re here having learned another lesson about your relationship with alcohol, and you’re making better choices with the knowledge you have! The fall is far but the climb back is short. Keep it up!

As others have said 144 days is huge. Focus on all the days you made it through and keep on going. You are doing great. Look after yourself

You're in good company, so many people here know exactly how you're feeling! Something that works for me personally when I slip is to look at my number of sober days this year. I only recently started doing this. I believe today is the 140th day of the year, and I drank 8 times. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it's the truth. I still always track my sober streak, but now I also track my number of sober days so far this year, with today currently being #133. It encourages me to get right back on track when I slip and acknowledge all the progress I've made and am still making.

Whatever works for you, I believe in you!! You've got this.

Welcome back 🤍

A boxer doesn’t go in the ring knowing he’s going to get knocked out … we gotta get back up and win the fight !!!

You aren’t back to zero. You are 144 wins with 1 loss. Every day is a rematch. Win your rematches and prove that 1 “loss” is a fluke.

I agree with everyone here. Those 144 days count & be proud of it! I also want to add: use this experience as an experiment on yourself. You now know that "just one" doesn't work well for you, so that when you go another 144+ days, you'll remember back to that time and you won't give in because you now know what will happen if you do.

This is the experiment I utilize on myself and it's been working. I've had many "day one's" and I use each start-over as an experiment to add to my alcohol-free journal to learn more about myself and what to do and not to do next time. And now, I have enough data on myself to know what works and what does not. And for me and many others, "just one" doesn't work. Because I realized the next day, it's easier for me to give in, and the next day... And the next day. As humans we live and we learn.

It's ok. You've done great and you're doing great. You got this.

144 days is incredible! I’m right around there myself and this is reminding me to stay diligent. Mistakes happen. No matter how many times you fall down don’t ever stop getting back up. I know it’s pretty cheesy but I got myself a promise ring that says “I am enough, I am worthy, I am strong, I am loved” for me adding psychical reinforcement keeps me mindful, as well as solidifying the commitment I made to myself. Maybe something to consider? Regardless you are going to be okay, there was a lesson to learn and you did. Take that in your pocket and pat yourself on the back. I think you’re acting courageously not keeping the cycle going and being honest with yourself. Dust off and get back to it. You got this!!

I think you should feel proud you were able to stop at 1 and 2 drinks and then realize things were going in the wrong direction and you took steps to rectify them and went and tried something new to help you get back on track with AA.

Also your 144 days don't vanish or stop counting and you're in a much better position thanks them as you know now how to get sober, stay sober for a solid length of time, and navigate the pitalls.

I relapsed and had 12 drinks then repeated it multiple times over the next few weeks despite each occassion being miserable and me suffering badly afterwards.

That old way of thinking that you've lost something forever if you backslide can be really dangerous. You still have that ~140 days. You tried drinking again and decided that isn't what you want. Amassing days/months/years of continous abstinence isn't the most important point. Improving your health, relationships, finances and everything else is the point. You're doing great!

144 is awesome!! Way more than one. You got this! IWNDWYT

144 days is nothing to sneeze at! Never quit quitting.

Keep up the meetings. Even when you don’t want to. It’s better than the alternative which is finding out that what you thought was rock bottom can get worse.

I'm also resetting for the millionth time. Each time the hangovers get worse. Today is not too bad. IWNDWYT

Tomorrow is 145 if you get back on it. Don’t let this be a bigger deal than it needs to be. Be kind to yourself you can do this

No. Not in my mind. Your on day 144 out of 145

We are our own worst judges in our mind. Self love is so important in recovery. Not the egotistical kind but the divine kind. The kind of love without condition. The kind that acknowledges the path we went down was not to our best interest s and the most powerful aspect of forgiveness within ourselves and the humility to know we erred in judgements and correct our heading to brighter days and more advantageous decisions

As long as you know you need help and seek it you're already farther ahead than most. Just because you slipped doesn't mean you have to fall.

You still "have" those 144 days. Just because they're not going to be consecutive with your renewed sobriety doesn't mean they don't count.

First meeting is always the hardest. I’m at ~45 days. Longest for me since I was ~18yo. I’m 36 now. Everyone will stay still count it as a win but seriously acknowledging it and getting back up on that horse is more important than anything. I can’t wait to get to 90 much less 144. All the best

Ive heard “don’t let a slip become a slide” Don’t worry about the numbers right now. Just make sure you take good care of yourself, treat yourself like you are back on day one in the sense of being hyper vigilant, but if you don’t drink today and get back on track I’d just count your next sober say as 145. I found that sharing my time wasn’t as important as knowing my time for myself.

144 days is a massive milestone. Just think: you’ve done it once; you can almost certainly do it again, even if it takes a number of tries. It’s like working out your resilience muscles.

Its good that you've found help. AA isnt for everyone though, I go to SMART meetings. I'd possibly suggest looking into it.

I'm at 0 as well....welcome back

I'm glad you're back here! I'm cheering you on from across the interwebs 🥳🎊🙌

You still made it 144 days!!! That Is incredible. And even when you slipped up, you were aware of what was happening and saw yourself repeating undesired cycles and you stopped! That's honestly an incredible feat on its own!!! You totally have this 🤍

144 days sounds amazing. I am sure you can do it again.

Great job on getting to that meeting. There are people out there that would love to help you, if you let them in, as it in turn, helps them. Keep it up!

Look…this is not a popular idea in AA but counting your days is a concept made up by other humans on different journeys. You don’t have to be at 0, you’re at 144 minus a couple. If you can take the drinks you had and learn from them and continue your growth, then who is anyone else to tell you how to go about your journey?

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just take it as a lesson to remember next time you think it’s a good idea to pick up a drink.

I look at slips and relapse as a chance to gather data. We look at what went wrong and how to prevent it next time.

You haven’t lost that progress. I know that’s not in line with the Twelve Steps, but that “back to square one of you so much as drink half a beer and then pour the rest out” dogma has been such a handy justification for so many of us to turn a slip-up into a two-week bender.

Did you fall completely back into your alcoholic cycle of self-destruction? Doesn’t sound like it, if you pulled out the next day. That’s what I consider a “slip.”

Nobody makes it on their first try. Try to give yourself some grace.

A lot of us have relapses. Unlike mine, yours sounds like you caught yourself in time. I relapsed and finally made it back to AA after a long time out, and the progressive nature of alcohol use disorder made it much harder than my first time getting sober. I was trying every way I could to moderate my drinking. It's hard to do, I know, but try not to berate yourself about it. It was an experiment that failed, not you failing. You can do this if you want to. Most AA groups I've been to have been remarkably welcoming, so take advantage of the help you have around you now.

You saw the pattern and went to a meeting. Would you have done the same 150 days ago? Progress is progress and recognizing that hey I can’t do moderation is major. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You had 144 days of making better decisions, 144 days of positive impacts on your health. Two days of drinking does not negate any of that. Pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and get back at it again. Perfection is not the goal.

Relapse is part of the journey. Don’t be hard on yourself. 144 days is a fantastic achievement.

The fact you even recognized you needed more help is a credit to yourself so well done. The first meeting is daunting but AA is god send to those it works for. It helped me get to the point of deciding to stop. Just think everyone there has been in your position in their own way. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I wish you the best of luck.

Congrats on 144 and welcome back. Don’t dismiss your 144 days! That is a LOT!!!! ♥️♥️♥️ps I needed to read this so thank you! IWNDWYT

feel the same man! I had a couple months sober then a podcast mentioned drinking beer and I thought I for sure don't need more than one. that night I cleared the 6 pack with ease, next day did the same and so on. Just letting you know im right here with you. stay strong.

Welcome to AA. Just listen to people’s stories and identify, don’t compare their history with yours. We all have different stories. The 144 days is valuable experience with sobriety. You did good.Now on to the next day. Hugs.

I've slipped up many times and I'm not starting the count over...just viewing it as ok I slipped up that day but I had a lot of clean days, way more than the slip up days.

What helped me was to stop counting days. I just stopped drinking; I didn't do it to achieve a certain amount of days. I wanted to stop drinking because I hated being hungover, hated being drunk and anxious about what I have done. I find that counting days and being upset about it only leads to pain when we eventually do stepback. Its always forward, learn something from your failure and continue on!

The 2nd 144 days is easier than the first.

It’s not how many times you fall, it’s how often you get up

I’m finding myself struggling, thinking I should go to my first AA meeting as well. IWNDWYT

I had a few (ok more than a few) bumpy starts. One thing I didn’t do was catch myself right away. I would spiral further and further and bad things happened before I could start again. I admire your tenacity and foresight into what a few more the next day would look like. You jumped back in and that’s what counts. Proud of you!

Good job on 144 days! Great accomplishment!!

Time to start again brother!

I’m going to be restarting too. It’s hard. I’ve been avoiding myself for too long. 💗

I’m at zero today too.

Good job spotting it early. I had a similar run last year. Lost 25 pounds, was working out. Felt amazing! And then around my birthday I felt like I had earned a drink, then it just kept getting worse drinking more and more, but I was still better than I had been. Then a shoulder injury… and I couldn’t workout for a while. Then I was over stressed at work, and so I medicated with more drinking. Gained those 25 pounds back and started feeling shit again. Now I finally have more than 2 days sober for the first time in months. Feels amazing as I rediscover that sober, coherent and calm mind once more.

You got this!

Honestly this is a win. You made less than optimal decisions, had the self awareness to see what you were doing to yourself, and then found the strength to reroute yourself and find support. This is a win. Keep making the right decisions!

I’ll start along side with you tomorrow.

I had 111 days and now I'm back to zero 😣... I'm sad but IWNDWYT

I had 1,542 days. I decided I was “better” and could moderate. It started with just one. I watched that moderation slide right back into habit, and all the dirt under my feet sent me sliding right back into the hole. I am so impressed that you have come right back to realizing your best interest is in staying stopped! It took me several years to find my way back to no alcohol and wandering around in darkness before quitting again pushed me into the light. You’ll have those 144 days back again. Keep on going.

Sam my friend hate myself

I’m hopeless but know the good

144 days is super impressive, one slip up doesn’t defined you. You’ve made it this far before and you’ll make it this far again.

Although you’ve reset to 0 days sober. It’s still about 99% of the last 5 months sober. That’s awesome

You’ll be ok, I’m happy you recognized it now. YOU cannot control it now since you’ve been sober for 144 days, don’t let your brain say you can.

I am someone who is motivated by a 'streak' and if I 'break' one (whether by conscious choice or forgetfulness) I can feel like I've fallen off the proverbial wagon.

I quit drinking for 6 whole months (so only a touch more than you just achieved) then started again before quitting again 3 months later. I am now 13 months sober and I use the memory of the feelings I had when I 'broke' that initial streak to keep me from ever doing so again.

I agree with the other users that you haven't thrown away the successful days, but if you're a thing like me, getting back to business and building your streak back up is the best way to go!

You have the powerrrr.

If you relapse again , then you will get sober again. Just remember though while your staying clean your fucking addiction is doing push-ups, withdrawal will only get worse. Now if i have more than 3 beers I will get withdrawal I think its called kindling effect. It sucks be careful, but you can do this!

I had many streaks this year but lots of day 1s this week. IWNDWYTD 

L

Look at it this way, 144 is a big break for your body and now you know you can do it. So, work for 145 days as a goal. I know how hard it is to stop and i am proud of you.

Those 144 days done disappear