/r/stopdrinking: A support group in your pocket!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

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This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

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This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning
• Europe - Morning
• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

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Happy Sunday, everyone!

We have a slight hickup again in the check-in, but your host of the week will be here tomorrow. For today -

I’ve been reminded lately of how saturated my life was by drinking. I had no idea before I quit, and the waters receded, and I saw what was really down there. But I also discovered wading stones I could use to move on through! I’m still working on my issues, in my seventh year - but hey, that’s life, isn’t it, and seven years ago, I promise you, I wasn’t working on anything.

How about you, have you had unexpected realizations after quitting?

I will not drink with you today!

When I was drinking, I did shit (meaning, nothing). In contrast, now that I’m a non-drinker, I’m getting shit done. In fact, productivity has become one of my favorite parts of being sober.

Has this been true for you, too? Without the endless cycle of wasting time while drinking followed by recovering from a hangover, do you find yourself with extra hours in the day to do constructive things, such as finally finishing that book you’ve been reading or tackling that mess in the garage? If so, I invite you to join the Sober People Getting Shit Done Club.

In order to be a member of this club, you must do three things:

1. Get something done.

2. Be sober while doing it.

3. Tell us about it.

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I’ll go first: Because I am sober, it is easier for me to be on my guard, stay aware of my surroundings, and make it harder for other people to take advantage of me.

I recently read that a current phishing scam is for people to call you and try to get you to say the word “yes,” because once they have it recorded in your voice they can try to use it, such as to claim you authorized certain charges.

I had a phone call with a caller ID that said that the call was coming from the Chase credit card fraud department, and the person on the other end said that he was calling about a recent Apple Store charge. Since I recently bought an Apple Watch using my Chase credit card, this sounded reasonable. But then he asked me, “Can you hear me okay?”

Remembering that I should not say “yes,” I responded, “I can hear you okay.”

He said, “I’m having some trouble with my phone. Can you hear me okay?”

I repeated, “I can hear you okay.”

At this point, he seemed to be getting frustrated. I was suspicious and asked him a few questions. His answers didn’t sound right to me, so I hung up on him and called the Chase fraud department number on the back of my credit card. Of course, they said that they had not called me. (It turns out that scammers can “cloak” themselves with a legitimate number.)

Sobriety is helping me be far, far more self-protective then when I was drunk and would stagger through the Tenderloin, late at night and alone. I think it’s fair to say that not putting myself in a position to get robbed or defrauded is its own kind of productivity.

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If you are sober and have been getting shit done—whether it’s a big thing like rebuilding the engine of an old motorcycle or a small thing like making that long overdue phone call to your grandmother—I want to hear all about it!

I want to thank everyone SO MUCH for all of your love and support! It’s really meant a lot to me. And a HUGE thank you to the people who convinced me to go to the ER last night instead of waiting. I had several gallstones and it was deteriorating my gallbladder and liver. Drinking as much alcohol as I did just made everything worse. I had to do many tests last night and was scheduled for surgery this morning. The surgery went well, though it took longer than expected and I needed more incisions than initially planned. My eyes are still yellow and my urine is still brown-orange but they said that should get better soon. I’m lucky I went in when I did because I needed a lot of antibiotics and I’m glad the infection didn’t spread farther. It was my first time getting an ultrasound and an MRI, which was a little scary but it all went well. Many of you commented on my post last night asking for an update so here we are! I’m currently icing my stomach and a bit high on pain killers but if anyone has any questions I will do my best to answer them. I just wanted to thank you everyone again for the love, friendliness and support I’ve been given. From now on, IWNDWYT.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/JmyXqhCJNZ

I hit 6 weeks today without a drink feeling pretty low mentally but I know a drink won’t help either

I havent had the balls to tell people yet "im not drinking because I'm a fucking crazy alcoholic bitch". So I made the DD excuse and medication excuse. A couple people that I was with and their endless comments about how much it must suck to be sober, how they felt bad for me, was really getting to me. I know that maybe if I was just honest the comments wouldn't have been so prevalent, but I wasn't really close with those people so I didn't feel like elaborating. I was literally thinking to myself the whole time that this was the funnest time I've had out in forever, even with all my crazy "fun" drinking times. Then people telling me "aww you poor thing!"

When I kept reassuring people I was having a blast they still would just ignore what I was saying. I don't get why it was so hard for them to accept that being sober isn't so miserable. As long as the music is good and I can dance, and there are red bulls I am fine lol.

Well, you know what I feel really bad for? Their terrible hangovers/hangxiety whilst I'm running on 4 hrs of sleep and awake and present enough to hang out with my kids all morning.

Others:

• Not taking Advil because it would damage my liver (hey, I'm looking out for my health!)
• Incessantly researching "the best alcohol" for as little hangover as possible (settled on gin for a while)
• Mixing hard liquor with diet soda so that, you know, the alcohol is diluted & I'm not consuming extra calories
• Not adding cream or sugar to my black coffee every morning
• Needing a new pair of running shoes but debating whether or not to spend the $90 (when I blew 3x that literally the weekend before)

Lots more, to be sure.. I cringe so hard even recollecting these things..

I don’t have any touchy feely sayings or AA wisdom, just a guy happier than I’ve been in years with some practical findings i wish i knew years ago.

I know this isn’t a big deal to some but from someone who has drank daily since the pandemic is huge to me. The last straw is when I realized I drank a 750 ml of Tito’s in one evening. I converted it and it was 25 shots. 25 drinks in one night. I would have episodes of my heart racing, high blood pressure to the point my doc put me on bedrest (and I still ordered wine through grocery delivery on those days) Not sure how it’s happening but I have no cravings, no shakes, and no urges. Started praying and journaling and being all in with my husband and kids. I never knew how much my husband has picked up the slack due to my drinking and how much I’ve been out of touch with my girls who are now a tween and teen. it’s not all roses yet. The heart palpitations have gone away but the pressure is still high. One step at a time.

My dad asked me to take June. He drank for decades and then white knuckled it for a month, no rehab no support groups, I don’t know how he managed, now he’s been sober for over a year and feels so good he’s not going back. So, he asked me to try June, see how I feel. It’s going to suck, but I know I can do it, was sober 30 days in 2021. I don’t know what I’ll do on the bad days, guess I’ll go to a meeting or come here. God bless you all, I’d be nowhere without this group.

I came across this idea the other day, and I cannot remember where, but it got into my brain and now I can’t shake it. I haven’t drank since (9 days now).

I often drink after a hard day. I justified it as a reward I earned—that I deserved—for getting through the day.

Someone somewhere said “you don’t deserve a drink,” but no because I hadn’t earned a reward. Rather, it was that getting through bad or annoying things shouldn’t be “rewarded” with poison. The unhealthy vice is not a reward—it is a further punishment.

For some reason, this framing completely changed my mindset. I haven’t even considered drinking since.

2 years ago (well, 2 years and a day) the paramedics visited my home after my partner called them. I was 3 bottles of wine down and was threatening to jump into the river and drown because I couldn’t take life anymore.

At this point I’d been problematically drinking for about 4 years, drinking daily for 2 of them. My relationship was hanging my a thread, as was my job. I was broke beyond belief, had to drink to stop the shakes, I looked like a corpse, and my friends were dropping like flies. Alcohol was the only thing I felt would never leave

I came home from the hospital on the evening of June 2nd and went through withdrawals at home with my partner (don’t recommend! Get medical help!) which lasted a few days. Today I am 2 years sober. It has been a journey that will continue forever, but I did it and you can too. ❤️ IWNDWYT

I had an appointment with my primary care a few weeks ago. I told her everything. How much I'm drinking every night. She did act worried since I, y'know, broke down sobbing.

The treatment she prescribed? "You have to stop drinking. Try journaling and exercise."

Am I wrong for expecting something more? A referral? Something, anything more than advice that seems like it could have come from the first result on Google?

I don't want to end up dead, no matter how often I think the opposite. I just don't know what to do. I feel so discouraged by this.

ETA: Since this seems relevant, I'm definitely scared of withdrawals. 3 a night is a generously low estimate for me, as I often have 4 and one of them is pretty much always one of those big 20oz cans. Since I'm a woman, this means I clear both the NIAAA and SAMHSA definitions of "heavy drinking." Not quite one of the horror stories i tend to see on here but still a bad place to be. I did tell my PCP the real numbers.

I’ve been binge drinking for almost 20 years, and even though I know I should stop, it never sticks. I knew I didn’t want kids, and never really felt a need for a partner. I have a full time union job, and just called in if the hangover was too bad. So I’d grab a ton of beer and wine each Friday night, and stay on a bender until Sunday night. Rinse and repeat every weekend for years.

Then last Friday, I saw a French bulldog up for adoption, and knew he had to be mine. Dog tax I went to a brewery with him Friday night, had a couple of beers, then went camping Saturday, but stayed semi sober to make sure he was settled in. Great news, he’s my new bff and fits in perfectly with my cats.

I got a speeding ticket on Monday, and decided that I would drink about it. I also took Tuesday off, so it was a perfect time for a nice binge. I took some naps, listened to some music, blacked out, you know the drill. I took the dog out a couple times when I remembered he had to go outside to go potty.

Well, I didn’t catch every single time. It turns out he got diarrhea, so I spent my hangover cleaning diarrhea off every surface. There was a streak of it from the floor to my bed where he jumped up. Completely caked into my favorite blanket. In the carpet, hardwood, rugs, walls, pillows, and everywhere else. I had to hand scrub all of it, because the washing machine didn’t get it all.

Last night I really wanted a glass of wine, but I didn’t want to risk losing control and having to deal with it. Plus, this dog deserves better. Someone else already failed him and left him on the streets. I refuse to let that happen again. I will not drink with you today, and I am going to put someone else’s needs above my own wants, so I won’t drink with you tomorrow or the next day either.

My sober app counts the minutes I’ve been sober and it’s been comforting watching it tick away. I’ve been telling myself I’m taking it 100 minutes at a time and if I can make it to the next increment I’m closer to one full day. Halfway there now 🥺

I was drinking at work to reduce anxiety but then I was even more anxious overthinking if anyone had noticed / smelled 24F

One year. One whole ass year. Like, a full 12 months. How the fuck did I do this for decades. All the milestones of pride and losses and gains and fallback and come-ups were felt with real feelings. Not muddled with guilt or shame, fear of the "wtf did I do last night". And I'm not talking about clubbing or hitting the bars. I'm talking things like smelling my kids hair in the am because I couldn't remember giving them a bath the night before. Or, hearing friends talk about things that were planned and I had no idea, which created phantom FOMO, and hard feelings from myself which would turn into isolation causing me to drink even more. I've lost friends because of this. When people casually say "that whole night was a blur", my last 20 years are literal brain fog to the point where I'm terrified for the future. My mom's mom was a chronic alcoholic her whole life and died of dementia , while still drinking. I'm foreseeing this as my future in real time. I confuse words and times and events...this shit is poison.

Seriously wtf did I do to myself... But this year marks a huge milestone of consistency. One thing I lack in all facets of everything is self-discipline. And to take this on and actually stick to it...

There's literally nothing I can't do now.

IWNDWYT friends. Not today ✨️

I work from home and I dont have a car. My part of the city isn't very walkable (thankfully) - so I can't get to a shop easily by foot. I gave my partner my ID so I can't instacart or door dash booze. He keeps it in his car. This morning while ordering groceries and while he was still sleeping I had this huge compulsion to grab his keys, get my ID, express order the groceries before he woke up so I could get a bottle.

Then, I thought about how disappointed his face was the last time he caught me drinking in secret. How much he's put up with. How much it affects my ability to work and focus. Instead of a bottle of booze, I ordered a charcuterie board tasting and macarons and called it a day. Shared them with him for a bad movie watch. IWNDWYT

I may still have to to go to my job that I dislike tomorrow, and am dreading it tonight, but at least I won't double down on a bad Monday by feeling sick from alcohol with a massive headache and general misery

2.5 weeks. I was doing fine. I was feeling great! The mother in law went out of town, so I had to go over there to let the dogs out for a minute. I saw her bottle of gin she left on the counter. Poured myself a shot.

The next day I went and bought my own, and then I drank something everyday for a week. Tomorrow is going to be day one again because I technically took my last shot after midnight.

I was so proud of myself. I could feel the difference. I don't even know why I started again. I wasn't really feeling a craving. It was more of a, "Sure. Why not," kind of moment. I just really piss myself off when it comes to this stuff. I would think I could do better since the small, dull pains in my abdomen were finally starting to lessen. They still come and go, but not nearly as often. Doctor appointment is set up for next week.

I'm not posting this to generate pity or whine and moan. I'm just sharing because you people are the closest thing I have to a group.

1000 days ago I woke up after a multi-day Labor Day bender and made an impossible but lifesaving choice to end this lifestyle once and for all or continue slipping into darkness.

What followed were months of hell. Daily panic attacks for 2 months straight. Insomnia, depression, insane anxiety. But I pulled through. I spent years honing a lifestyle that would make me better. I gained strength and lost weight. My mind slowly regained clarity. The monster that was chasing me slowly faded into the distance.

My daughter was born. She has a dad who will never drink. Every moment of her life mind has been crystal clear. Every morning has been filled with energy and attention.

I discovered recently that alcohol wasn’t solely responsible for my anxiety and stress. I just needed to manage external stress and whatever life throws at me better. I’m still learning how to do that. Not every day is sunshine and roses, but when things do get rough, I know that they will get better naturally, and I don’t have to poison myself to artificially pretend.

Huge huge thanks for this community for giving me strength and power to get where I am.

I will not be drinking with you today, friends.

Feeling really proud, next milestone will be 60 days or 2 months. Made it through my birthday weekend without drinking and had a great time. Hope everyone had a great weekend. iwndwyt !!!

Been waiting a long time for this post! (69 days in fact)

I don’t have a lot of people to tell. So I thought I share with all of you.

So, yesterday was both my daughter’s wedding and my 500th day without a drink. Seeing so many drunk people at the reception confirmed the decision I made 501 days ago made a positive impact on my life. IWNDWYT!

Title says it all. 100 days since my last drink. Without the support of this community and constantly reading posts daily, I could not have remained strong. Here is to another day!

I was just reflecting and thinking about my life and memories. I don’t think I ever enjoyed life until I stopped drinking. I was such a depressed and hateful teenager. I hated life. Even into my early to mid twenties. I wanted to kill myself more times than I could count. I wanted to not wake up more time than I could count. I didn’t know how I was going to succeed at anything in life or enjoy anything. I gave up. I tried everything.

Since I stopped drinking I have done so many things I never thought I would do. I ENJOY life. I am still working on how I am perceived or the anxiety of being judged. I used to hate it so much I would just cope by drinking to “loosen up”.

If you feel constantly depressed, suicidal, unbearable anxious, horrible all the time, etc, seriously try to quit for a little and see the difference. I know it’s hard. I had tried everything EXCEPT giving up the alcohol (it was helping. I can’t feel it if I’m blacked out right???)

I still have mental health issues I work on but it is SO much easier now that I’ve cut out alcohol. I just wanted to share in case it could help motivate someone who feels they’ve run out of options. The alcohol doesn’t help. If you’re out of options and want to give up, try giving up the booze first. Give it a shot. Give it time. Be patient. It is so worth it. You can do this.

IWNDWYT