This was probably the more logical war for me to have picked. Don't know why I chose the Sino-Japanese War, which I know nothing about but clearly heard about at some point -- at least enough to stick in my head as a dumb answer for a funny question :-D
Dominic Patrone set the world record for most hot dogs thrown into an a aquarium in one day (46). He’s now permanently banned from a Pet store in Miami for for life.
BREAKING NEWS: An Infant has fallen into the Gorilla exhibit. Officials say that the Gorilla was a dangerous threat to the infant and animal patrol had shot the Gorilla whose name was Harambe. OTHER NEWS: The infamed Gorilla Harambe has died people around the world are mourning the loss of Harambe. Harambe was only 17 when he died
The War of 1894, of course.
Didn't you take history class?