I paid 100 euros for a cabinet women for sex for 20 mins. She told to wear a condom obviously. I am a virgin and I masturbate. My penis got erect after a blowjob and we started to have sex. But she forbid me from even touching her vagina and even kissing or licking her tits for the money. It was like just fuck and cum. I tried soo hard but I couldn’t cum. She only allowed 2 sex positions. After all this, I left kinda disappointed and left from there. She told to pay 300 euros and stay for one hour. But I didn’t have that kind of cash. So the thing is that, I can’t remember her face. I only remember her ass and boobs and I kinda feel bad. I still get erect thinking about it but also sad at the same time. Anyone suggesting any tips, tricks, even opinions?
I had sex with a prostitute in Amsterdam but I can’t remember her face
I mean, transactional sex with a strict time limit with no intimacy for a first time would make it hard for almost anyone to finish I reckon. Don't blame you at all for having mixed feelings.
Only if you discover it’s your fetish
Indeed, I'm not here to kink shame haha.
Oh 100%, I'm not bashing the worker at all. Lord knows the danger they put themselves in and the circumstances of their being there can be dodgy at best. I'm just saying that OP's experience is nothing to be ashamed of.
I used to be a full service sex worker and sometimes if someone was super respectful and lovely I’d throw in the kisses for free :-))
Were you ever genuinely attracted to any of your clients? I always wonder. I never worked anything formal, but have done sex work in the past and while I never had any guy who was rude or disrespectful, or grossed/creeped me out, I wasn't like crushing on any of the guys. Some were cute, but not necessarily my type. It seems like you had a decent experience doing that type of work and that's always awesome to hear about.
I honestly find the fact that they visit sex workers automatically a turn off/ red flag. But I did have a few really attractive clients in my time, only did it for a year though keep in mind!
Im curious why it was a turn off to you? Was it just because you forced them into the “client” folder in your head and therefore didn’t look at it as intimacy or did you just look down at them for using sex workers? Or was it the desperation? Would you have been more attracted to them if it were a ladies man who gets more than enough for free but paying is a kink or less?
I’ve never payed for sex, and I’m not judging you or judging you for judging them. Just curious lol
This is honestly such a weird thing to say. Like sex work wouldn't exist if it people didn't want it. I think even as a sex worker you need to figure out why you're so anti sex work lmao
What a weird comment
I’m anti sex work because I’ve done it as a job. It’s not good for your mental or physical health. There shouldn’t be a market for it but there is. Plenty of people can do it and be unaffected but most swers I’ve met are so mentally destroyed and don’t even realise it’s probably caused by doing sex work and the constant mental strain of never knowing how much money you’ll make, your job literally relying on how you look and that leading to self esteem issues etc
Did you ever think its because people like you and how you stigmatise it and help prevent safety measures and shit being put in.
Youre demonising all of it because of the bad side, a bad side you allow by acting the way you are instead of actually trying to improve conditions. Youre the problem not the solution.
Also, you worked for a month. That's like me saying I'm an expert in the inner workings of international dog food making in the entire world because I cleaned machines lmao
Excuse me the question : did you kiss /allowed kiss you all the clients?
My closest friend did this for his first escapade and it actually completely helped him get over his hang ups and insecurities. I, on the other hand, doubt I could get into it and did not participate when I had the opportunity lol.
Just thought was interesting, it was really a positive life affirming even changing experience for him. Even with the procedural transactional aspects which were absolutely present. In fact he disliked that part lol just, found the whole thing helpful.
Totally depends on the person. I would be more aligned with your thoughts on the matter, but there's nothing wrong with either side imo.
I did it after a few rough relationships in a short period that put me into a mild depression. I had a lot of my own issues I needed to process before getting into anything serious, but even the illusion of affection mixed with the physical intimacy, going at it just for the fun of it again with another person helped me work through some of them with less pain. It was a higher end brothel in Scotland though, and it being clear cut and transactional was actually a big help to keep things simple and light. Think it definitely depends on the situation and the person, and the worker involved. It shouldn’t feel clinical, but the boundaries should be nice and clear
That’s so true. Not sure if it’s the same as real sex but my fap sessions can last up to 2 hours.
My friend got ducked off for £6 under a flyover in Manchester Piccadilly and I’m pretty sure he finished but it wasn’t his first time.
Sorry to hear. Business sex isn’t what real sex is like.
I just wanted the experience. I know ur saying the right thing thou.
I understand! Just don’t think real sex is like that.
That will be my next big experience I guess
I hope it’s a good one. Happy cake day!
I promise it is worth it to try to find someone you have chemistry with. Go on dates, flirt, ask for women’s numbers, show interest and you will find someone that is into you. I promise you, the second you are with someone that you know wants you, your whole idea of sex will change for the better. There’s really nothing like it. It’s worth putting yourself out there, I promise! Good luck friend!
Instead of asking women for their numbers, give them yours. It can make a lot of women feel pressured or harassed to give out their personal info; we don’t always feel safe saying no. If they’re interested then they’ll reach out to you.
As a woman (32 F), it doesn’t bother me at all to be asked for my number. However, I understand some women are not as comfortable with that as I am. Good advice! 👌
I guess what you were looking for was a prostitute that was there to please and fulfill your fantasy, which for 300 euros, she should have been an actress. I don’t think that’s necessarily an unreasonable expectation. I have no personal clue though, but I know dudes that have visited sex workers and their experience was different than what you describe.
Actually the worker was hot. So I felt like she was an actress. I am just saying that I expected to cum in less than 5 mins but that didn’t happen no matter how hard i could try within that 20 mins.
Sex can be funny. Sometimes you cum in 2 seconds, other times you can't cum at all. With more experience you'll get better at cumming in a reasonable amount of time.
Sounds like when you're nervous you have trouble cumming. That's fine and a good thing to know about yourself.
I wouldn't worry about the fact that you can't remember her face. Not sure this will make you feel better or worse but she definitely won't remember your face.
Overall I wouldn't stress. You used a condom, I imagine they also get tested very frequently because it's legal and regulated there.
I think it's natural to have a lot of mixed emotions about having sex the way you did. But I wouldn't stress about it. What I would do is figure out in what circumstances sex would be better for you. If it were me I'd probably consider trying for a more long term thing with someone you trust at least a decent amount.
So for example that would be either a girlfriend or at least a friend with benefits, emphasis on the friends part.
Sex with little emotional connection can be fun but it's very different from sex with someone you care deeply about. But I think enjoying sex with less emotion is something that would come after more experience.
So I'd try to find someone who you trust not to give you too much shit over your sex performance. That doesn't mean you should consider their feelings in the matter. But it's good to trust that this person won't give you shit for either cumming to quickly or too fast. Even with someone you trust there will be moments that will either be awkward or funny depending on how you both view it.
Learn how to eat pussy and finger well and women will be less annoyed if you cum too quickly or can't cum. Porn is not a good way to warn about sex.
I'd highly recommend reading Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex. The section on eating pussy has helped me out in life quite a bit
Also if you watch a lot of porn I'd recommend cutting back a ton. I love porn so this isn't a moralistic thing. But it puts a lot of unrealistic expectations on both you and the other person or persons. Plus if I whack off too much I don't have the drive to meet people.
If you're having trouble meeting a partner I'd try to evaluate yourself realistically. And know that simply heading in the right direction can help enormously with confidence which in turn will help you meet someone.
If you're overweight try to lose 10 lbs by eating better. If you're really skinny try to gain a few lbs of muscle by eating more protein and lifting weights. Is your life boring? Get some cool hobbies that you can talk about. A nice person will enjoy listening to you about your passions. Some things are more interesting than others though so do cool things and learn what types of things people like to hear about in regards to them.
Also make sure you're engaged in listening to your partners interests. Asking deep questions is a very good skill. It shows many things. It shows you care enough to pay close attention, it may show your intelligence, it shows that you're not selfish. This is not a manipulation thing. This is basically what determines how compatible you are. How easy is it for you to talk to each other?
Or maybe you're both painfully shy. That's OK too so maybe in that case compatability is more how comfortable are both of you sitting around reading books or playing with the dog or cat. Not everyone is chatty.
If you're really shy it can be hard to meet people. But just keep asking people out and eventually someone will say yes. A first date may not go well so then you have to keep asking more people out.
I was quite shy at 18. You're likely gonna have an awful lot of awkward experiences. I sure did.
It may be tempting to put up a fake front by pretending to be something you're not but I don't think it's a great idea. It'll get exhausting to pretend all the time.
But that doesn't mean 'just be yourself' because that shit is not helpful. If you're not meeting anyone then clearly it's not working.
Be yourself but put in the actual work to be a better version of yourself. What I mean by that is work on being the person that you want to be. The more successful you are at becoming a more idealized version of yourself the more confident you'll be. And confidence helps enormously. The best kind of confidence is earned confidence.
Confidence is really just being comfortable with yourself. After asking out 10 girls and getting rejected it feels less scary. Always be gracious when a women rejects you. Most will be happy that you're not being a dick head about getting rejected since so many men are. Occasionally women may reject you in a mean way. Best I can say is try and forget about it.
Improving your life can take many routes. Which will up your confidence. Looking better, getting better at art, having a more interesting job or even just being happy in life helps. If you're super broke I'd work on that too. But you really don't need to be super wealthy to meet women in most places. If you're trying to meet women at fancy cocktail bars then yeah having more money helps. But generally all you need is enough money to live a fun life. Being fun is more about doing fun things together, maybe going on some trips, having great friends.
Also I'd take realistic look at your wardrobe. Make sure that your clothes fit and that you don't have an off-putting style. I'd ask a female friend for help or another guy who you think dresses well. Or you can ask reddit. There's subs like male fashion or frugal male fashion. Their whole thing is that cheap is fine as long as the fit is good.
Dressing up is about showing more than just your personality. It shows that you can put in effort in your appearance. A lot of women put in a lot of time on their appearance and they'd like to see that you can put in at least a minimum amount of time into that too.
Wow. That was an eye opener. Thanks 🤩
He paid 100 euros, not 300.
She told him he could pay 300 for an hour but he didn’t have the money.
Rip Matthew Perry
It is absolutely not the same especially when you find someone who matches your drive! sidenote…happy cake day! 🍻
Business sex is the worst
And plus, a lot of prostitutes are sex trafficking victims. Some brothels are owned by sex positive feminists, some are owned by skeezeball men.
The OP said this was in Amsterdam, so it was legal and regulated by the government and not a trafficking issue.
Even in countries where it is legal sex trafficking still occurs.
Fair enough but even in countries (or parts of the world) where it is legal, some skeezeballs still treat women like shit.
Fair enough. I hope he treated her humanely.
I'm all for feminist owned brothels, so same.
Amsterdam very specifically has a huge trafficking issue.
It’s one reason why sex workers are against legalization and advocate for decriminalization instead.
Almost like it was a business transaction.
Yep, you get what you pay for.
Feeling that way
Don't think you got the sarcasm OP...
It was a business transaction. There is nothing to feel.
That’s rough, buddy.
Yeah. Weird feeling. But I am glad that I took the courage to do this. I am happy for that.
Tips for what remembering her face? Or cumming quicker?
Face thing was just an info. Cumming quicker is better
You were in a very high stress situation, you had a ticking clock, you're with someone whose experience is downright professional, and you're trying to focus on getting your money's worth, all while also wearing a condom.
Honestly, it's not many guys who could cum in that situation. When you have sex with a willing partner and take time for foreplay, etc. you'll be fine. And if you're really worried about it don't jerk off for a week beforehand. You'll nut super fast unless you have death grip problems or something
Thanks!
That’s just nerves. When you aren’t on a time limit and don’t have to deal with weird rules it won’t be and issue.
If anything you should be proud that you didn’t finish in that situation, I understand that you were doing it just to “complete that step in your life” but that’s not real life. If anything I would scratch it completely from your memory and when you inevitably find someone real to have sex you tell her it’s your first time
Yeah it might take some days. You can’t believe how many times I have been thinking about her face. I just go into oblivion and start thinking about this and get an erection
I took the Red Light district and Museum of prostitution tour. They said the average guy pays for a half hour but is done in 6 minutes. Seems like the stress of the moment got you distracted.
Yeah I was afraid I might finish early before entering the room but I tried hard and couldn’t finish. I very seriously think because of the condom I couldn’t actually feel anything happening to my thing.
Courage to buy a sex worker?.......... how is that courageous?
She looked hot for me and she was offering something for money. My friends were shy to do it and I felt I should try this. That’s only what I meant by courage.
If it makes you feel better she doesn't remember your face either as she probably already fucked 20 men before you that day. :)
For sure 🤭
I was just sayin, a close buddy made a similar choice and while he left feeling similar, it was a huge game changer for him in the long run.
Maybe 🤔
Lol yes “asking for a friend” I get it.
Go check the other response if genuinely interested. Do assume I was talking about myself if it brings more enjoyment.
ok Zuko …
Reading OP's comments, this is a very wrong direction he is heading. It would be very nice for him to have at least a few older people to talk to about the big issues in life. From this distance, all I can say is that instead of the pats on the back and how to be good John questions here, he should start thinking about how he can learn about life from women and not prostitutes. Maybe he should take some risks.
Agree
Believe me, I only have respects for women.
sorry, but if you did, you wouldn’t engage in prostitution
If you don't support other women life choices how can you blame others about not respecting women?
Tbf, you can support their life choices without actually using their services
You can also use their services and still respect them. What's wrong with you guys?
as long as it is a completely free choice, i support it fully! unfortunately most of the times prostitution is kind of a last resort for most of them due to a financial struggle. that’s not a real free choice. additionally, human trafficking and abuse also plays a big role in it unfortunately.
Tricks for what?
I mean, yeah. What did you expect?
True af
Don't worry she don't remember you either.
Yeah….lol
Well you're not a virgin anymore first off lol
As for not being able to cum t's probably a mental block from nerves, this happens to lots of guys
Kudos to that.
sw here- she would not care you forgot her face
It’s not her I am worried about. It’s like those memories you recollect when you did something for the first time. Since it’s a paid thing, I now think it wouldn’t matter. But still I feel like I should have remembered
I am a virgin
You were a virgin.
That’s it thou
Is this a troll post
God no
Don’t do it again?
Yeah. At least do it better next time i guess
Or... save your money...
Hookers feel nothing for their clients. They don’t care how you feel. They want your money. Nothing more.
If you want a good sexual experience, you need to find someone you have chemistry with and usually feelings.
Hooker here! I can and do care about clients. Yes it’s my job, so I wouldn’t be there without the money, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely impersonal for all of us.
I absolutely experience attraction and chemistry with some of my clients. Don’t think you know the sex work experience when you clearly aren’t one lot us.
Also, only 30-40% of my working time is actual sex. The rest of the time is talking, getting to know each other, discussing things, even therapy for some clients.
I'm skeptical if you genuinely care, or are attempting to use empathy as a form of manipulative OF marketing, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I don't care either way.
Most sex workers do not care about their clients beyond surface human compassion, such as if they get hurt or die. The bare minimum of compassion most people feel for strangers. And, as you said, you wouldn't be there without the money. The entire profession exists for one party to make oodles of money and for the other party to have sex, and sometimes spill his innards because hookers don't mind even easier money.
I don't doubt some hookers fall in love with clientele, but it's very rare. Most hookers don't become hookers to make new friends, boyfriends, or connections. It's to make quick, big sums of money. And maybe obtain sexual experience. An unexpected relationship is just an unexpected bonus.
I wouldn't boast about providing "therapy" to clients, because it's not, unless you're a licensed therapist. If you are, how very unprofessional of you, as that's a very blatant form of manipulation when sex and feelings are involved.
This response is so wrong on so many levels. Why would you be skeptical about someone who just told you they worked in that domain and is explaining their reality. It’s like if you doubted musicians when they explained to you their own musical work stuff?
I feel like you’re just falling into the "hookers are just there for dirty work" stigma around sex workers. Op of reply probably knows more about it than you do if you’re not in that field.
People lie and manipulate, especially when they have something to gain.
Okay yes SOME people do but that doesn’t mean EVERYONE. I feel like you have some trust issues with every single person you see.
The world is cruel but not everyone is an asshole. Some people just enjoy doing what they do. Stop being so shallow and falling into generalisation.
I said I’m skeptical, not that I 100% know she’s lying, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Get over yourself.
From your other responses, seems like you’re the one who needs to get over yourself, but suit yourself
Just be respectful, sex workers are people with needs, feelings, understanding and empathy. Why are you assuming they want to manipulate people to perceive them to sex? The people are already there looking for them. Imagine how available you need to be to deal with people who come to you with all kinds of frustrations and hard feelings. And the person said “it works like therapy to some clients”. They didn’t tell they were a therapist. Just chill
I mean, that’s basically what everyone does. Working for the money. That’s literally what the economy is all about. Why should a prostitute be any different? We’re all just trying to make a living doing something we at least half enjoy (or tolerate), who are you to judge what that something is for someone else? This comment does not make you look morally superior. It just makes you look naive imho.
This is not the 1970s. Nobody says hookers anymore.
I mean, that is not true in all cases.
Yes, sex work is work, so getting paid in exchange for their labour is kinda the primary goal for the worker. Same as any other work.
But sex workers can form intimate relationships with clients the same as anyone can in any profession. Especially when working in a intimate fashion.
For example - bar tenders will often form emotional attachments to regulars and have true empathetic connections with them. Same for therapists. Same for your house cleaner. Or domestic servants. Or an employee/employer relationship in almost every capacity.
It is not necessarily a good professional move or mental health move to not keep barriers up to some degree - especially when something that can be emotional such as sex is involve.d... At the end of the day though its not uncommon. And a lot of sex workers, giving away that bit of themselves emotionally, is part of the labour. For others it is not.
In this case, it sounds like it wasn't at all. Thats fine. I also don't remember the face of the dude who put my winter tires on my car last week.
That's so rare it's not even worth mentioning.
If a sex worker forms a bond with a client, it's because that person was attractive to them in some way. Most people who pay for hookers, from my observations, are mentally and physically unattractive people.
Thus, most hookers remain detached, hence why they don't kiss. Kissing takes effort and more feeling to sensually massage their tongue with someone else's. Plus, there's no condom for the mouth. I wouldn't want to swallow someone else's germs I don't care about either. Spreading legs is easier. It takes less energy to do the bare minimum, and energy is often accumulated by motivation, which is orchestrated by feelings.
I am surprised this hooker does blowies, but with a condom on, I can understand why she'd be okay with it. Maybe she used it as an opportunity to practice for someone she does romantically like.
Bartending is not a great analogy. Bartenders actually have an opportunity to get to genuinely know people via talking. Premature sex not only muddies that opportunity, but sex work doesn't allow space for non-sexual communication. It's pump, dump, pay up. A man probably can't keep a boner if she tries to have an existential conversation during her work hours.
What? Plenty of sex workers kiss. My sister is a fssw and she definitely kisses and makes guys brush their teeth first when they get there lol
Also, not sure why you think sex work is easy. It’s physically taxing and emotionally and mentally draining.
Plenty of clients have no sexual conversations, especially regulars. Some clients literally only talk and don’t do anything sexual.
It’s quite clear you know nothing about sex work.
Oh sorry.
I didn't realize that you were an ignorant, yet very opinionated person.
You have made so so so many assumptions (incorrect assumptions btw... if you ever actually spoke to sex workers) based on what I can only assume are some stereotypical observations about sex work from, what? 80s tv shows?
Some pretty obvious evidence that your working off assumptions and not real experience with anyone who is a sex worker? Or even like... reading a fucking article about it?
- "sex work doesn't allow space for non-sexual communication"
BHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAH almost every single account you can find online from fucking anyone in the trade says the opposite. Loads of people go to sex workers literally for companionship and non-sexual communication.
- "no kissing" - again. Where the fuck did you get that from? Like... seriously. Is your only experience pretty woman?
- " Kissing takes effort and more feeling to sensually massage their tongue with someone else's. " ...... you have def NEVER been fucked if you don't think that takes effort. lol.
LIKE SERIOUSLY you need to have a think about your perspectives on life. Maybe talk to people instead of holding random assumptions from god knows what outdated stereotypes you draw from.
Nope, I am aware there are lots of people using hookers as a means of human connection, like OP did in a way, but during the act of sex, there isn't much dialogue that isn't sexual.
I knew a guy who thought a stripper genuinely liked him because she listened to his problems, but it's just to squeeze money out of him. He was not physically or mentally attractive. It's still pump, dump, pay up, even if it's a sexless metaphor.
Again, most hookers are not mentally or physically attracted to their clients because most of them aren't.
No, I've acquired my opinions because I have read and seen so much anecdotal evidence, not because I just feel like having these opinions. I read a lot of accounts of such scenarios as well as have some friends who hired hookers.
As I said "it takes less energy to DO THE BARE MINIMUM" when comparing fucking to kissing. You don't have to put much into gyration. You CAN, but you don't have to to vaginally-swallow a dick. Can easily be lying down while moving the pelvis into his, or letting him move in and out. These methods take very little energy as opposed to the process of kissing because it requires tongue movement in addition to body positioning/movement to meet mouths, brain power to some degree, and motivation which is orchestrated by feelings to induce energy.
I've never seen Pretty Woman.
The average woman judges men who pay for sex workers because it implies stereotypes that are more often right than wrong. Just as the average man judges women who sleep around a lot, whether men are aware they are or not. A sex worker is in a different position to a man paying for the sex, so I presume most sex workers also judge men harshly for paying for sex as well. Especially when they hear them speak.
I’m not sure what that person is on about, you’re pretty accurate with your assumption in my opinion, most working girls don’t kiss as it’s seen as gross, because as you’ve said, no Condom for the mouth. But it is very common for girls to give oral, blowjobs are usually part of a standard service.
And yes girls do get “feelings” for regular clients, but not in a, let’s run away together and be happy kind of way, it’s either yes the client is already attractive so of course you’re attracted to them in a way, but also you can have the empathetic connection like bar tenders have with regulars, working girls are human so eventually you will make somewhat of an emotional bond but it isn’t common in the least since most girls see it as work and forget all about it the minute they get home.
Jesus. Just hearing you describing kissing makes me want to barf.
You have some really weird misconceptions about sexual acts, emotion, sex work... you literally sound like a clinician.
And the assumption that most sex workers think poorly of those who hire them? Again, you have a wild misunderstanding of the type of people who hire sex workers.
It might surprise you to know that, despite anecdotal evidence, there are actual studies and lived experience documented stating the exact opposite.
I beg to fucking differ. Most of my clients are physically attractive and financially successful and have active social and family lives. You obviously have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
You will be surprised about all the different kind of people who goes to prostitutes. you should educate yourself before telling such kind of stupid things.
Also a hooker - I agree with her, I do genuinely care for a lot of my clients. Most of my time with them is also spent talking. I have a friend who is actually the first person I ever saw, has been in my life longer than anyone who isn't related, and has met my family. I have other where I genuinely think about the issues that they are going through and check up on the for that. Not to get money. I bartended for over 10 years and provided 'Therapy' across the pine just as much as I do across the bed. When people book 2 or 3 hours we don't fuck around the whole time. It's because they want the intimacy of talking to someone. And I offer those sessions because I also enjoy getting to know people on a personal level.
i think it’s time to rethink the relationship between money, sex, and consent
It’s pretty normal I suppose. For me it also took a while before I was able to cum in a woman. Let alone with someone you never seen before and you know you pay to have sex with you. You just learn from the experience and later you”ll likely have a laugh about it. PS: happy cake day OP! 🍺
Nonconstructive comment removed.
I usually struggle to stay hard on a first encounter. Nerves and pressure and such.
The hard thing is it goes such a long ways to feel very desired and that can be awkward on early encounters and, I imagine, in transactional settings.
I can't remember the face of a lot of the people I have had one night stands with. So, yeah, that part wouldn't freak me out as much as it just being an overall bad experience.
That's the reality of window sex in Amsterdam. It's honestly a pretty shitty experience.
You pay €100 for suck and fuck (that's what it's called). It's a non enthusiastic bj plus sex in one position. 20 minutes total (from going in to out the door). No touching, no kissing.
Much better in a brothel honestly. Cheaper and better service.
Absolutely do not go with them. They take trafficked girls/girls under control of loverboys.
Just out of curiosity. What makes such a place "excellent"?
That world is so foreign to me.
OP are you young? Do you have good parental figures in your life? Do you have close friends?
My first time, turned into 4 or 5 sessions cause I didn't come, till I did
I wonder if they do it on purpose, like they do everything so you can't relax/cum and have to pay more to continue fucking her.
Most girls just want you to finish and leave so they can move on to the next client
Why do you want to remember her face?
That's why I've never had any interest in paying someone to like me.
Good for you
Save up, pay for the hour. Better yet, use that money to woo a girl and not have to pay, it’ll be better for you.
Don’t let people fool you. Sex work is filled with rules and strict boundaries. It’s never going to be the same as sex with a girl you like and who likes you back. Also, just because these brothels in Amsterdam are legal doesn’t mean there’s no trafficked women in there. Many Eastern European women were taken to Amsterdam under false promises of a modeling career in Paris. They have to pay their way out through sex work. Sophia Bush’s podcast has an episode on this. Her podcast is about social topics and world issues, so it’s not a celebrity podcast. Sophia has a degree in journalism, so it’s a good podcast. Anyway, many red light district sex workers are victims of human trafficking. They don’t necessarily want to be there, having strangers kissing their mouths and boobs. It’s like, wham bam, thank you ma’am.
You’re not the first guy who feels weird about his experience with these poor girls. It’s because they don’t want to be there. Don’t let people hype it up. It’s sex trafficking. It’s sad.
I like how op is ignoring every comment about how she was probably trafficked 🙄
You honestly need to seriously think about how you view sex workers if you can't even remember her face. She's still a person
He literally agreed he “hates hookers with rules”. 🤦🏻♀️
Dude was stressed and already said he feels bad, even though he shouldn’t. He paid for a service. I would imagine the only thing sex workers are concerned about is being treated with respect during the time with their client. I can’t imagine they care if you remember their face after.
Do you think she’s going to remember his? Get of your high horse
yeah like controversial opinion but maybe this is exactly why buying sex and exploiting someone else for their body is an obvious moral no-no in my book. like jesus christ, go to therapy and make friends like the rest of us lonely people
I didnt orgasm the first few times I had sex. My then girlfriend gave me a handjob after a few times, and it was the first time I had an orgasm with a woman. From then on it got easy
You are perfectly normal.
Thanks bruh
If you want a good experience with an escort, you need to pay the full amount she wants, even if you don’t stay the whole hour. A good escort would go above and beyond to make you happy because she wants you to come back to see her.
Exactly. You get what you pay for. If he wanted a more intimate girlfriend experience, he had to pay for that.
Chances are you couldnt cum from either a) emotional things which now your not a true virgin should help overcome or more likely b) from masturbating with death grip. Buy yourself a fleshlite so you dont need crazy pressure to be able to cum from masturbating alone.
I posted this post just because I can’t seem to figure it out why I didn’t cem. I thought someone with experience can help with this.
Like i said get yourself a fleshlite cause otherwise youll need the deathgrip to cum and a vagina wont give you the pressure needed to cum if your used to said deathgrip. A fleshlite should give you plenty of stimulation without the pressure. Plenty have been in your situation tho dont worry.
Secondly when you get with a girl (dont do this with a hooker) go down on her for aslong as you can, make her feel good and cum before you fuck, this way you should have taken alot of pressure of you to sexually perform, first time with someone is usually shit anyways casue your not intune with each others body but if you go down on her and make her feel good youll be winning cause 90% of guys wont.
Dude. Like really when I entered the room, the first thing I asked is that whether can I get down on you. And she said it isn’t allowed or you have to pay extra. Then she started with a small bj and 15 secs later, she was on all fours
Never go down on a prostitute thats like chewing gum you got off the bottom of a table.
I don't know bro. Sex is quite overrated if you are not doing with someone you care I don't really know why are so desperate to lose your virginity, this way you get even more disappointed. You probably are quite hype about your first time, but for the sex worker it just 1 of many times that day. Other risk is that if you find an escort that you are happy with you can easily develope feeling and then you are feeling even worse .
I don’t know bruh. Getting a girlfriend is quite hard for me. I am a very introverted person and due to other personal issues and complexes, I can’t seem to make it work. I haven’t had a single relationship till this date. I also think it’s because of the country where I am from. I don’t want to experience sex for the first time after my marriage ( which is pretty common in my country ) and I know I can break this trend if I want but I don’t think I can by getting a girlfriend. The pros of this paid sex for me is just that I can get what I want by paying money.
Not really. People have different situations and this is a sex positive subreddit. Leave your criticism at the door.
You’re delusional if you think the average woman would be ok knowing their partner was happy to exploit women to get a nut. This is a sex positive subreddit and not even close to the reality of how people (especially straight women) view sex work
I feel like only "macho" men who probably have little respect for anyone will find your reply funny or true. As a straight men, I think sex workers are resilient people. Personally wouldn’t work in that field (out of lack of confidence honestly and I can’t really do no string attached) or wouldn’t pay for myself for services (I feel like I can’t get off with someone without a certain connection or getting to know them) but those women are still people.
Grow up. Respect people.
No need to call names and there is absolutely no reason to believe that this is going to fuck up OPs relations with women.
that's disgusting
You mean me?
Yes I wouldn’t worry too much about it. We all have our own sexual journeys, they’ve got their ups and downs. You do a few things, you learn. Cheers to the good times ahead!
You were her customer, don’t go too far with your thoughts. Maybe you have some insecurities and on top of that you felt like a waste from this interaction with sex worker.
I am glad I had the courage to try this. But as an experience it was maybe not that good. I don’t feel it was waste. But not feeling great.
Do you remember the faces of everyone you get services from?
Well this was my first. So can you blame me for that.
I mean any service in general, a massage therapist, taxi driver, etc
Well.. What did you expect when you go to a prostitute
Ive also fucked prostitutes in amsterdam and I can’t remember their faces either. Equally, I can also only just about remember the faces of some ex girlfriends, my first ex girlfriend I’ve not got her on social media and I genuinely wouldn’t be able to notice her if we walked past each other in the street now - might seem ridiculous but you’re focusing on something that’s not actually a sign of anything
Maybe get a girlfriend who will let you do those things?
Believe me I would love that. But when it comes to gfs , it gets a bit tricky for me
Hey! Sex worker here. It sounds like you went to the red light district. The workers there are not what is considered “Girlfriend Experience” or GFE, which is what it sounds like you wanted, a more intimate experience than just a cum and go.
I’d recommend looking for an independent escort online. You can easily google “independent escort (city)”. Do your homework on the provider. Does she have reviews and social media/website? You can get to have a sense of what she’s like in person that way. Look for someone who offers GFE.
It sucks your first was impersonal like that, but there’s always next time!
Sex without kissing is not sex. I prefer staying home and jerking off watching pornhub it’s better than prostitutes.
go cry
I wish I remember the website I used but there’s basically an online catalog of escorts in Amsterdam that have apartments that you go and visit.
I found one girl, I remember her name was Morena and she was half Spanish half Romanian. I think I paid €250-300 euros for an hour. She asked what I wanted and I told her to give me head until I came in her mouth but to keep sucking. And she did. And it was glorious. We had (protected) sex after that but I’m usually a 1 and done guy so I didn’t bust a second time. Damn. Wish I knew that website.
Edit: lots of judgemental people in here it seems.
Kinky.nl
Either it was the nerves or you might have death grip during masturbation. Do you grip your dick like you want to strangle a chicken?
Actually, I masturbate in a very different way. I don’t grip it. It’s hard to explain and very weird. I don’t do the traditional masturbation tech
Don’t jerk off so much my guy I also have had the same experience with working girls so tried stopping watching porn and the next time I went to a hooker it was much more satisfying
I’ll try it I guess
Also the ppl ace I go rotates girls and some girls are better, some give amazing head and some are just not good
I was there several years ago with a few friends and it was pretty much €50 and maybe you could negotiate a €40 euro fee with some of the less popular windows. Is it really double the price nowadays?
I didn't partake but I found the whole thing fascinating watching my friends decide and negotiate etc.
Edit. Why the downvotes? Lol what would possibly upset anyone about what I said lol
i think this is turning me on in a weird sort of way
well, in one hand this is transactional, on the other it was expensive for what you got...
Man, the prices have been increased significantly. During my time, it was 50 euro per 20 min.
Next time get one from a website and save all her pics first or go in first meeting wearing spy glasses and make sure you get her face and interaction between the two of you before sex
This is disgusting and a crime. Not funny at all.
i had similar experience but i paid only 15$ lmao
What kind of sex trafficking is that 30 euros in 2023????
I’m so sorry you lost your virginity like this. I have absolutely no issue with prostitution but your first time? It’s no wonder all you remember is her ass and boobs because it’s sex for money. You didn’t see the person just the vessel you stuck your dick in. However hopefully the next time even if it’s a one night stand, you will remember the person because you’re not under pressure, you’re genuinely enjoying it and have some sort of connection
I looked at her for at-least 15 mins or more outside the glass before entering but all that remains is her ass, boobs and hair colour.
All the limitations the event provided makes me think it is totally normal to not be able to finish. It kills the mood.
Yeah really
Nope. I would recommend at-least half an hour or maybe 1 hour for something to happen and make it worth your while.
I guess the worst 1st time thats possible.
I guess i would not even get an errection in this situation. I need a woman to want me, what you described is a nightmare to me. Also a reason why I'm not able to rape someone.
What you exierenced has nothing to do with real sex. What you had was only mechanical, not emotional.
She was screaming and stuff to make me feel that she wants me too. But I guess my conscience knew it was fake. Can’t blame her though.
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