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Is anyone else having a rift in their relationship due to current politics?
Can confirm, my dad was like this and it was very scary. I used to hide in the bathtub when he would rant and rave to cry :(
Sorry you had to endure that.
Assuming it is manosphere type stuff, he fundamentally doesn't want to change because he thinks he is above you. Someone is not a great person because they work 55 hours per week, keep up on yard work, and can install a ceiling fan. 1 of the podcast host is going through a nasty divorce and suddenly eliminating no fault divorce is a topic worth discussing.
Flashbacks to 6 hour car rides with my dad listening to Rush Limbaugh…
it is a kinda shitty feeling being happy that fucker is dead. But the world is better off without his hatred being broadcasted daily.
I think I'd take pavement to the face over that.
For some reason I enjoyed rush limbaugh on road trips when I was a kid. No one would believe it now.
Sometimes, politics means a values difference.
What are your values?
Does this guy share them?
You say you don’t care about his politics, but often our politics are indicative of our principles. Even if you could “do this” again for 6 months you should realize by now that “this” isn’t something that will ever go away, just go through periods where it’s easy to ignore.
“It’s just politics” has been a lie for a long time. It’s nothing but personal because it affects your life and the lives of those you love. Whether you vote your values or you vote in your own best interest, it’s all personal. And if one’s own best interest really is without regard for anyone else, agnostic of community or connection, I’m not sure what the fuck one is doing in a relationship to begin with.
Well put. The political is personal, and all relationships are power.
Lots of people look at politics as very draining and frustrating. I always vote, i look at it as really important. But i really don't see the point of being up to date with the constant news cycle.
It's not interesting, educational or rewarding to me in any way.
That's what they want. They want you tired by the cycle.
Exactly, I'm surprised that they got past a first date, let alone establish a relationship. With U.S. politics being so divided, I'm shocked. I couldn't spend more than a minute with someone who's worldview was at such odds with mine. Like, I wouldn't tell them they're wrong, or try to convince them otherwise, but there wouldn't be a second date.
I'm not American, I'm from Europe, but I even struggle to have a relationship with my parents on account of their political views.
They're in the same political party, OP just hasn't gotten sucked into the Trump mania so this "divide" only started a few years ago. OP probably still agrees with a lot of other republican stances, just not the ones that make her husband feel comfortable emulating his leader.
Bingo, and this is such a common dynamic in heterosexual relationships where the woman is milder and seemingly more progressive while the man is a lot more “extreme” and traditional. Everyone will wonder how the woman puts up with him, but it’s because somewhere in her politics is a Venn diagram overlapping with his, just more politely.
You did not just say Venn diagram, Kamala. /s
You say you don’t care about his politics, but often our politics are indicative of our principles.
I think about this every time sometime goes "Oh, I don't get involved with politics", "I don't have an opinion on any of that stuff", "Why did they reject me over a silly little thing like my politics?", etc.
It's like, gee, did you never consider that not taking a stance is a stance, or that people take stances based on their own morals--and that, shockingly, many people like to date people with similar morals??
the thing is, up until the last 10-15 years, it was possible to have different "politics" and still be romantically compatible. This is because political differences were things like "marginal tax rates" and not "some people shouldn't have rights"
The people who say "I don't get into politics" and the like are parroting the sentiment from that time
I mean, I’m pretty sure the political issue of whether ‘some people should have rights’ has very much been a thing for many decades. The civil rights movement and all.
It wasn't as overt as it is now
edit: jesus I forgot, building a giant wall was a normal policy position and states were passing around legislation to outlaw trans people getting medical care, you lot are absolutely right lol
What? It’s been pretty overt for decades. Jim Crow and segregation politics was a lot more overt than anything now.
It’s just that now it’s affecting things that people have taken for granted.
Edit: Your edit is even more bizarre. A wall and lack of trans medical care are definitely serious issues, but I think you missed a lot of US history if you think those are more overt than stuff before it. If you’re ever in DC, please go check out the African American history museum. Or look at the rights movements for women and the lgbtq community in the first place. It was pretty damn overt.
And it's not like there hasn't been stuff since then. Like, the disabled and gay rights movements?
I guess because 10 years ago there was a bipartisan consensus that a lot of people shouldn't have rights lol. Obama was against gay marriage
Yeah I think there’s a lot of truth to that, based off my observations lmao
I'm bi and I was too, but mostly because I wanted to better codify the necessity of a civil union to be recognized by the state; I thought the word marriage was too religiously fraught
Progress over perfection. They will hold us back while we hold out for the perfect solution, but changing the ‘climate’ of the law means impacting the ‘weather’ over and over. We need to take every win on the way to our bigger goal.
I wish I could care more about that stuff, but it just makes me so anxious or even causes panic attacks. I do the bare minimum to be informed enough to vote but its just so unhealthy for me to plugged into it more often than that.
I think there’s a huge difference between not having an opinion as opposed to not actively keeping up with every single new thing that happens. I don’t keep up with the day-to-day either, but I do care about politics to a degree and will speak up to those who I feel are challenging anyone’s welfare.
If you are someone that let politics consume your life you are a fool. If you are the type of person that tries to put people in simple boxes you are a fool. Oh, you are liberal and I'm liberal we must agree on everything...fool. Oh, you are republican you must be my enemy...fool. Can we have a conversation with every person of course not but this mindless prejudging everyone is foolish. People are complex begings and rarely fit simply in a box.
If someone is voting Republican they’re voting against the right to exist for me and my friends. That’s not hyperbole, that’s borne out of evidence.
It’s not a “reach across the aisle” situation when it becomes existential. This “both sides” stuff is just an excuse to be intellectually lazy for people.
As a queer woman with multiple chronic medical conditions, I absolutely assume that anyone still voting republican is not somebody I want to spend any time around. At this point they are voting to harm or disenfranchise my basic rights on so many fronts that I have no desire or obligation to do anything more than tolerate their existence, which is more courtesy than they are currently showing me.
Fellow queer disabled woman here! I have nothing in common with anyone who still chooses to vote republican.
It sounds like not just politics, but his anger is a major issue. I def don't think i could date or be with anyone that supported Trump, period. It's not like the good old days where you might like a few things about the other candidate, and actually had to make a hard decision.
IF he really cared for you, he would understand that you don't align together on this - and keep politics out of the relationship (as much as possible). That's what you do when you truly care for someone, you put their needs first. Good luck.
I’m not having trouble with my partner because I very specifically chose someone who aligns with my political beliefs. As a woman, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe I should have rights to control my own body. I need someone who agrees that I am a person who deserves the same rights as men. I need a partner who believes all Americans deserve equal rights - women, POC, LGBTQ+. Any less than that and we can’t be together. It would be a fundamental incompatibility.
Youshould care about his politics. They are indicative of who he is and what he believes. His anger and vitriol is part of that. Men who consume that type of media enjoy being angry. That’s not someone I’d like around my kid.
It's not that we are even in separate parties, I just do not like his candidate or their fanbase.
OP's a conservative themselves. They may have found someone whose values aligned and he's gone off the alt right lunacy deep end since they got together.
So basically just a regular conservative at this point? It’s like idk what women conservatives expect.
Yeah that's pretty much why I commented. The parent comment gives great advice for liberal women - find a liberal man who aligns with your values.
For conservative women, the advice is more like find a therapist so you can unpack why you support people who think women are livestock.
Did OP say she or her partner were conservative? I didn't see that part
Not explicitly but:
- She's American
- Her partner's preferred candidate has a "fan base"
- He was angry and bitter last election
So he's a Trump supporter and she says she supports the same party but doesn't like the candidate - they're both republicans.
Plus, angry podcasts/media that gets people riled up? Basically an exclusively right wing phenomenon.
This needs to be upvoted a million times. He doesn't respect women as fully actualized humans who deserve the same rights as men. This should be a deal breaker for a relationship with a woman.
He sounds like someone who is easily led by others spouting ideals and enjoys the rage adrenaline.
It’s very similar to an addiction, honestly.
And like any addiction, he has to want to change. He doesn’t want to change because he’s still getting the daily hit from the rage.
It’s sad. I’m sorry. But don’t fall into the sunk cost fallacy. He has probably ingrained these beliefs pretty deeply and you never know when he’ll have an opportunity to influence your kids.
If I were OP, I'd make anger management therapy a condition of staying together.
Would that even work without giving up the podcasts?
Trumpism ruined my relationship with my step father and to an extent my mom. My step dad was always kind of an asshole but we worked things through and could have a nice time together as a family. Not anymore, he’s so angry and inflammatory all the time. He watches and listens to nothing but Fox News and related media, wears all the hats etc, and is repulsed by my ideological principals and values. We really can’t talk about much of anything, he turns it into something weird every time. It’s too bad but I’m not going to subject myself to that so…
I no longer speak to my father for the same reason. He shared some instagram reel about how traitors should be strung up, on fucking Christmas. Traitor = anyone who doesn’t support his orange god. That was the straw for me, after the nonstop vitriol he’s spewed for the last decade.
I would divorce my husband if he supported the big orange guy. And we've been married 30 years. Thankfully he doesn't. I just couldn't stand that...
You’re not wrong that many things in social media are intentionally designed to get people mad.
The #1 thing that gets people to click on a news headline isn’t their values/interests/hobbies or anything like that…it’s anger.
If you make people mad online, they will click/comment/interact, and that will bring more $$$ to the publication.
(This isn’t a conspiracy theory btw - a Facebook researcher literally leaked data about Meta intentionally doing this, and was fired for it. So it’s like. 100% public knowledge.)
Anyway.
That being said, it’s still your husband’s choice to engage with that media, that is repeatedly making him mad.
He is choosing to do something that’s harming both him and you.
Not sure if I have advice per se, but I just wanted to add that perspective since I haven’t seen it in the comments yet.
Like, you’re right it’s toxic, but also, your husband isn’t being mind controlled, and he’s making his decisions to engage in this stuff.
I should add too that I have a lot of sympathy for the situation you’re in.
For me it’s not a partner, but my parents. They’ve been increasingly radicalized over the last several years, mostly through media, and it’s been really hard to watch.
While it is their choice to listen to that nonsense, I can’t help but feel that they used to be far more loving people before they started buying into that garbage.
I also feel like I’ve lost out on so much potential for what that relationship could have been, which honestly just breaks my heart, and probably always will.
All that being said, though, they’re still adults making choices, and at the end of the day I have to respect that, and put up the boundaries that I need to keep myself safe and sane.
Like I said I don’t have any advice - I think people are lonely, angry, and hurting right now, all over the country, on all sides of the political spectrum. And also, that doesn’t give them the right to treat others poorly - especially their wives.
I’d encourage you to set the boundaries you need, to find your own peace. Then maybe rest and focus on self-care, since your husband is currently ignoring your clearly-stated needs.
I’m not sure if that’s helpful or not. My pain point is just kind of: it’s going to be up to him to snap out of this. But you don’t have to make excuses for him.
Take care of you because, right now, that’s who’s on your side.
Same here with my parents. I don’t understand how boomers especially get caught up with this MAGA bullshit. What happened to people? Why this change? Why the extremism? Who is benefiting? So many questions.
I think a lot of it is fear, and in my parent’s case, religion.
American evangelicalism is, frankly, a cult, and it took me like 25 years to finally get out and start deconstructing the harmful things I used to believe.
When I left, I lost access to most of the people I grew up with. It was incredibly extreme.
So yeah if you take a group of people, isolate them from everyone else, and give them a raging persecution complex (even though they’re literally WASPS)….you get my parents lol.
I’m not making excuses for any of this. Everyone involved in preaching these beliefs are adults making conscious choices, BUT
But it feels similar to OPs situation tbh, in that if they ever wanted to draw a line in the sand about political beliefs, they would likely lose the majority of the life they’ve built.
It was hard for me to get out, and I had a damn good reason to do it (being queer lol.) And I never subscribed to their political beliefs anyway.
I did genuinely believe in a lot of the other teachings, though, and faith was a huge part of my life, literally since birth.
So yeah if you’re raised in an extremely sheltered bubble and told from childhood that you’ll go to hell unless you do what your pastor says…I can see how people take their pastors at their word.
(Also didn’t the southern baptist church claim that slavery was biblically OK for a lot of years??? Because evangelical trumpism feels like a modern day version of that.)
Aside from religion I’m not sure what else is making formerly loving people turn to such hate.
I suspect it has to do with our growing isolation and desperation coming out of financial stress.
He’s not a great person and you know it.
This is why you don't treat politics as irrelevant to compatibility, and certainly don't procreate with someone without factoring in political differences.
As you're discovering, they're pretty relevant to your actual life.
I wish you luck in navigating the situation you created for yourself.
Please do not reward people like him with a relationships
I love him, but I cannot do this again for another 6 months.
Then don't.
Because this isn't about the next six months. It's about who he is, period. For the rest of your lives together.
Politics isn't like picking a sports team or whether you like Coke or Pepsi. It's the practical implementation of your morals.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who thinks hatred is the highest moral value? Do you want your kids around that?
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I’m a republican catholic who survived birth control. At this point, I could not give two shits about abortion at age 54.
I just want my groceries to be the $ it cost when I started my mortgage two years ago. That is it.
Just that.
From my current choices, convince me Joe can reduce my current price of groceries over Trump.
So you could not give two shits about the 168 million women whose rights have been stolen.
And you demand something you know full well is impossible, saying that if you don't get it, you will vote for the guy who stole those rights from those 168 million women, who killed more Americans than anyone in history besides and even tried to kill you personally.
Because stripping more rights and hurting more people and killing more people is that important to you - more important even than your own survival.
Yup. Morality in action.
Rule 3 No politics in here!
In the US, your political support is just a proxy for your values. Saying you "don't care about his politics" is dumb, sorry. It's not "just politics", it's what those politics do to you. You hate his aggression and anger...those ARE his "politics". They are what his candidate runs on. (You didn't say who, but it's pretty obvious.)
Sounds like he's listening to some hard right stuff. You know what those programs say about women, right? Even if you're onboard with all the other bigoted crap, it will still impact you when he turns that side on you.
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Don't forget misogynist and a rapist.
Don’t forget gullible AF
Yeah, this. I'm currently dealing with this exact scenario with friends.
I've listened to TFG speak, and it's all "the greatest, the best, wonderful" when he's talking about himself, then when he's speaking about his opponents or enemies it's "the worst, terrible, horrible". Never-ending rants about nothing and never directly answers a question. People eat that up, they are that gullible, scared, and full of hatred.
Definitely don’t fuck trump supporters who listen to hate radio
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Yeah the previous commenter already established that part
Oop. Guess my mind blanked on the comment above for some reason 😅
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Thank you. A vote for a 3rd party IS refusing to take a stance- we live in a two party system (I don’t have to agree with it, but we do!) and there are not enough electoral college votes for anyone who isn’t of the two main parties to be elected!
So stay home if you’re going to vote for a 3rd party candidate for president in the USA. You’re effectively throwing away your vote and refusing to think critically about both candidates, one of whom WILL be your president in the next few months.
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You should grow up and realize that one of the two is going to end up in office, that's how our political system works. It's going to continue to work that way until the voting systems get reformed. So you might as well pick one of the two sides, because if you don't other people will choose for you.
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Amen. I started this all off saying Trump is shitty and these partisans who AGREE with me can't stop themselves from hating because I don't like their doddering old fool either lol
That’s a huge oversimplification. Comments like yours make the country worse.
actually, supporting a candidate whose goal is to discriminate against women, POC, non-christians, and LGBTQIA makes the country worse. the man stands for nothing other than hate and greed. that’s not a good future for the country.
Being in a political party these days is a moral choice. The GOP doesn't operate on facts, it substitutes fiction they think will increase their numbers. The cruelty is the point. What happens if one of your kids brings home a friend of a different race? Is he going to spew horrible ideas in front of them?
If you can't make a choice based on his qualities, then base it on your children's welfare.
What happens if one of your kids brings home a friend of a different race? Is he going to spew horrible ideas in front of them?
To "yes and" your point, I'm also wondering how he might act if one of the kids turns out to be something other than heterosexual and cisgender.
You know, I have a very good, very gay friend. Because of several health problems, mostly respiratory, he'll probably die soon. He had been a good man all of his life. He never hurt people, always forgave when he was slighted, was always able to move on from hurts. He's the guy that all these MAGA people hate, and he's never hurt a fly. He's only ever given of himself and his resources. I'm blessed to have been his friend for 40 years.
Sorry, that was a real tangent.
I’m sorry your friend is expected a short life. Sounds like you’re both great people.
Thank you, he's really a sweetheart. He has lots of family who love him and many loving friends.
I think people are being a bit hard on you. I’m sure at the beginning of your relationship, you both were similar politically, which I’m taking to be run of the mill conservatives. The problem is Trump has pushed a lot of people to the extreme right. They don’t even have a platform anymore, their platform is hurting people they hate. And their list of people they hate is getting longer. It’s very scary if you look into Mussolini or the brown shirts or even hitler. This is how things go bad.
Maybe right now it’s trans people aren’t worthy of living, they’re pedophiles, or women who have abortions are murderers, so they also deserve to die. But at what point does trans person become democrat, and democrat become “Rino” aka you.
Just keep an eye on things honestly. Maybe ask him straight up if he still believes women are equal to men, or that you should “love thy neighbor.” If you are Christians, what does being Christian mean to him? Try to explain to him again why it makes you uncomfortable.
I've called him out on his hypocrisy. He started up with the Pro-Life crap even in cases of rape and incest. So I said, "If my ex-husband's brother rapes my 13 year old, you think she should have that baby?" Oh no, of course not! Not her, just all of the other 13 year olds. Ugh... typing that out really solidified what I need to do.
I'm glad you found the person in this thread who most listened to you; too many people took it as an opportunity to either denigrate politics as being important [you wouldn't have posted if you didn't find it important!] or specifically get their jabs in about Trump, which wasn't, per se, your point.
But yes, if that last sentence is how he feel...get your child far away esp because he may change his hypocrisy too, and suddenly view you both as would-be-baby-murderers hypothetically or otherwise.
Hell no. If my husband EVER even sympathized with that fascist I would leave him and do everything I could to keep our kid from him too. I’m not going to be married to someone that hates me and is going to teach my son to be a bigoted moron.
Ask him if it’s ok to cheat on your pregnant wife with a porn star.
Yes. There are a lot of fundamental values at stake this time.
Dumped my ex when he voted for the orange felon.
Anybody supporting Trump is morally corrupt at this point!
Why are you okay with your man yelling at YOU about a racist sexual assaulter with multiple felonies?
I couldn’t be with my husband if we differed on politics. I think politics represent your values and morals. Some people think that politics shouldn’t matter in relationships/friendships and everyone should just get along….but, no. Sorry, not sorry.
I haven't heard people talking about this in terms of spouses or partners, but there's been a lot of essays and articles about coping with Trump supporting parents. Those might have ideas about coping strategies or at least offer some comfort.
Al Anon and other resources for people living with alcoholics and addicts might have ideas too.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. MAGA really is like a drug or a cult. It must be heartbreaking to see someone you love, and someone you know at heart is a better person, get lost in that bilge.
Politics are what he uses to vent his anger. He is responsible for his own anger.
If he's very integrated into your childrens lives, that's a good reason to leave. He's modeling them anger issues and toxic masculinity
when someone shows you who they are, believe them
One of these "chicken or the egg" scenarios. You think the political content is the problem with an otherwise great partner. It's the opposite - he's got issues, and you're seeing him drop the nice act when he's triggered by the political stuff. He doesn't sound like he has enough control over his own emotions, he sounds volatile. I would not stay in a relationship like that, especially with kids.
Your not doing your kids any favors by staying and allowing that rage in their lives. My dad was similar, always so incensed by politics, and yet as soon as he is home from work the news is on and nobody can watch anything else. Yelling at the TV, name calling, instilling biases and racist assumptions that I am still working to untrain, and I'm 34.
Mom would be coming home late and call me asking, whats his mood like, is he angry tonight? It's like walking on eggshells, make one mistake and you'll get yelled at for using the wrong bowl, or sitting in the wrong spot. I remember a phone conversation where he told me he would gleefully shoot members of the opposing party with a gun. I asked him to imagine the inevitable situation when I would be recalling this conversation to the police, and if he wanted to put me in that position.
Now if someone yells at me, or yells at someone close to me, I either shut down completely or get excessively emotional and lash out, its like a survival mode. That kind of anger will have lifelong effects on their ability to process emotions and handle confrontation.
My Dad is taking a class from "the great courses" on bias - and I think it has him actually thinking about his POV. It's hard though because the more you push him the more right he will feel.
Maybe try focusing on 'I' statements about things like sticking to print media and media that isn't obvious clickbate.
Setting boundaries around arguments. If he's being aggressive you should leave the room or the house. Don't make it about politics make it about how he is treating you.
You know the cause but he has to see it for himself. So sorry.
No, because I married someone who we agree on important values. Politics isn't like what sports team you root for. It's actually about what you think is important and what a better future looks like. I cannot imagine marrying let alone raising a child with a partner who wasn't aligned about those values.
You're absolutely right to be deeply concerned about this dire situation. It's painfully clear that your partner's obsessive attachment to these toxic political podcasts is severely damaging your relationship and home environment. The fact that this mirrors what happened during the last election is a significant warning sign.
His behavior is unmistakably abusive. He's letting these anger-fueled, hate-driven podcasts turn him into a highly aggressive, confrontational person, creating a hostile atmosphere at home. This is completely unacceptable, especially with children involved. Kids pick up on this negativity, and it can have lasting, harmful effects on them.
You've tried reasoning with him, suggesting alternatives, and expressing your concerns, but he's stubbornly choosing these harmful podcasts over the well-being of your family. That's not what a loving, respectful partner does.
At this point, you need to seriously consider leaving him. You've given him many chances to change, and he's shown he won't. You and your kids deserve a peaceful, loving home, not one filled with anger and conflict.
Don't let him convince you this isn't a big deal. It is. Your mental health and your children's well-being are at stake. You're not overreacting - if anything, you've been more patient than most would be.
It's going to be hard, especially since he's a big part of your kids' lives, but sometimes we need to make tough choices for our long-term happiness and health. You've tried to make it work, but he's not meeting you halfway. It's time to prioritize yourself and your children over a toxic relationship with someone choosing anger and toxicity over family harmony.
Stay strong. You've got this. Remember, you deserve a partner who brings positivity to your life, not one who brings anger and conflict. Don't settle for less.
Naw. See you chose to overlook the fact that this man supports a party that views you and others as less than. He never hid his beliefs you have chosen for the last four years to overlook them because it made your life easier. You are only upset NOW because those beliefs he’s always had are affecting you personally.
Sometimes I wish I could pull the other side to listen other viewpoints without being biased or immediately judgemental. I can guess where your partner lands. It took a lot of will for me to pull out of that "hole of anger" for years and listen to people are subjectively more reasonable and not very inflammatory on the political spectrum. It's just not easy at all. I wish I had a video I could share that's meant to "speak to someone on the other side" so to speak.
It's not their politics! It's their morals and lack of caring for other people.
Luckily not my partner. Your partner, especially a somewhat new relationship like this, should have similar beliefs. We call it politics, it it’s also our core values. You should be with someone similar. Not saying agree on every small detail. But the main ones should shared.
They can get over this all if they want by just addressing the media they're consuming. If it's just making them hateful and angry, my question would be why do they want to consume it?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with, but the amount you have to accept and get through to live with a felon, racist, rapist, hater supporter is too much. He’s the only candidate I’ve ever said something like that about, but it’s true.
No… because my fiancé and I disagree on maybe one or two things but we still land on the same side of the political spectrum. I mean…. I get frustrated about politics and my fiancé agrees with me and we rant together about the world.
It seems like you guys are landing on opposite sides, which I don’t even understand how y’all let it get this far along. I just don’t understand gravitating towards and having romantic relationships with people who do not agree with your principles and politics...it’s such a privilege for you to just ignore his views and stay with him anyways. I would’ve shut that shit down on the first date. Especially as a woman, if your partner is supporting someone who has time and time again disrespected women and backed policies that take away their rights….immediate no. I know you say you love him, and I’m sure that’s true but I just don’t see how it wouldn’t just get worse from here.
His values align with his politics. It sounds like all may not be compatible
Why would you subject your kids to that, much less yourself?
So he's pro incest, lying, cheating, violence, rape, pedophilia, etc. but ...
You should have called it 4 years ago. Learn, don't repeat. Life's too short for people who are ok with people who are like his angry men.
My fiancé and I don’t agree on every little thing, but overall we agree on which of the candidates would better serve our country.
Honestly, at this point I would just divorce my husband if he started listening to angry man podcasts (Joe Rogan can get bent).
I’m not a Joe Rogan fan, but his podcast is nothing like the hate radio OP is referring to
it’s a gateway drug for whack jobs
I’m on board with all the comments on here but I think whatever this guy is listening to is a lot different than Joe Rogan. I wouldn’t say Joe Rogan is known for being angry. Wrong? Yes. Dumb? Probably. Angry? Nah.
I bet Joe Rogan would be a welcome replacement for whatever OPs man is listening to lol.
Joe Rogan platforms right wing talking heads like Jordan Peterson with zero push back. Maybe he’s not angry, but he’s part of the radicalization pipeline.
Yes. We didn’t date for long. He (knew I had different opinions) would call me and just rant about politics then the rant just kept going to different topics. I got sick of his negativity.
Politics indicate morals and how we view other people. You’re teaching your kids it’s ok for someone to talk to you the way he does. For that alone I’d get out asap
Your politics often influence your values and sense of morals, the way you lead your life, and the lessons you think is important to pass onto the next generation. I personally can't see myself being with someone and sharing a life and letting them have an influential role in a child's life if I disagree to a high degree with everything a politician they support represents, or any of the other content they consume if it's what it sounds like he's into.
I know people who support that politician only because they're hoping for more tax cuts and deregulation, but they don't give a shit about the rest of it, and some even disagree. But not even to give up the potential personal benefits. That's a different type of person than one who lives and breathes those values and makes a point to share it whenever possible. The former you can potentially agree to disagree and never talk politics. The latter, not really. It's either you accept it or you don't and the relationship ends.
Uh... I'm sorry, I've dated men of all different political bents, and this guy sounds like he'd be an asshole no matter who he listens to. Thank kind of anger isn't coming from a podcast. While I agree news/media/podcasts can bolster those feelings, that rage is deeper inside of him. I would just bite the bullet and move on. You don't want this guy around your kids.
As a child of two parents with different political ideologies who should have gotten divorced but didn't, don't put your kids through this. You two aren't compatible. At the end of the day, especially now, a person's politics reflect their principles, and yours conflict. "I don't care about his politics" is not the flex that you think it is. It is ignorant and sad because you should care. That is who he is.
I’m with someone who is right for me so no, we’re pretty well aligned and the things we don’t agree 100% we can discuss rationally and understand each other about.
If my husband was like whatt you described, we would have broken up years ago.
Nope, I’d never date someone whose political beliefs don’t align with mine in the first place.
No, me and my partner are on the same page. I don't think I could ever be with someone who didn't share the same core values and beliefs as me.
Your husband is being told that the Mexicans and the Chinese and feminists and trans people are threatening his family and he is not sure how to defend you from them. Somehow he has to understand that it is not the Mexicans or the Chinese or whoever else Trump says that are the main threat to his family at the moment.
He's a bit too happy with being angry and making you upset instead of making you happy. You've pointed out the problems. And unfortunately, there really aren't ways to fix a politically charged, fight seeking, bitter outlook, and insensitive mindset.
His life could be successful, prosperous, and full of loving people. And still many fall into letting anger and bitterness rule them. Inciteful and toxic media will pat them on their back for it.
But you don't have to put up with it, nor should you.
If he's supporting trump and those that follow him then his value system is likely skewed. There is a terrible industry of male anger ect around trump and those like him. All it ends with is hideous misogyny
This isn't about politics. You have explicitly told him to not to listen to this stuff and come home angry at you about nothing, and he continues to do it anyway. He has no respect for you. Maybe if you told him you were planning to go stay elsewhere until he can stop he would listen. Maybe.
I could never be with a partner who didn't see eye to eye with me politically. Or at the very least respected my views. It seems your partner is too tied up in politics and honestly it sounds like the situation could even get dangerous, especially if the election doesn't go his way.
Politics didn't make him this way; it only revealed his true self (that prior to 2016 society's standards forced most of these people to mask). Character matters.
I've voted for politicians of both parties over many years and have always voted character over party.
We are now living with the consequences of too many people choosing party over integrity. Who we vote for reveals our own character, now more than ever.
yes, hes a loser. break up.
For gods sake women need to stop sleeping with republicans.
OP says in her post that she’s a republican.
Nope. We talked about 3 things before we married. Religion, politics, and kids. We made sure we agreed on all three. I can talk to him about anything and I know he has my back because we are so similar on those fronts.
I'm in Canada. I was living with my dad (still paying rent but cheaper than market rate). He's become so obsessed with politics. It was bad before but we're getting closer to an election here and he's just become unbearable. I'm moving out. It's sad; our relationship was never great but I can't believe it's actually ending over POLITICS. I even hate the word.
I personally tried to be as apolitical as possible and even found myself catering quite a bit to his opinions. In the end, he sees me as blameworthy for the state of our country. He stole my voter card last election so that I couldn't vote (I found a way anyway). For me, it's only escalated each time. I feel like I can't win so I'm bowing out of the relationship.
I really hope it works out better for you but please don't become a shell of who you once were to placate someone you love. And also thank you for making me feel less alone~
If someone supports trump that means they don’t believe in supporting my right to bodily autonomy. I can tell you they certainly wouldn’t be having sex with me (or interacting with me regularly) in that case.
You have your children around this? What the hell is wrong with you?
I would not stay married to a republican.
If my partner and I could not agree on politics... we would no longer be partners. It's a deal breaker for me.
Fortunately, we do.
My friend married a guy that went down the MAGA rabbit hole. He’s become a guy she doesn’t even recognize. And unfortunately, she doesn’t have enough money to divorce him so she’s stuck with him. Don’t end up in this situation. You’ll be miserable like my friend. He will send her nasty text messages about something he’s heard on some station, Like your partner, he picks fights with her over the littlest things, then suddenly he’ll be fine for a day or two. Then right back at it. It’s a sickness and there doesn’t seem to be anything to get them out of it. I definitely would never marry this guy.
Luckily we and my spouse have equally insane political opinions
Well. Anger is the only acceptable male emotion.
Everyone is desperate to feel something; anything. To be alive
The political climate isn't what's making your partner an asshole. People can have very different political beliefs but still respect each other, have interesting debates about it, etc. He listens to this stuff because it taps into what he's already like. He refuses to stop listening to it because he likes it. Him identifying with these angry assholes is more important to him than having a good relationship with you.
If you're a woman I'm not sure how you thought someone with those views would respect you
My boyfriend is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We are both on the moderate sides of our parties so we share some common ground. We both think that both the current candidates suck. When we disagree on politics we can have a discussion and keep it respectful.
My wife and I are pretty compatible politically, but I am careful not to talk about politics too much with her. I feel like it can become a slippery slope, and for what? The happiness and serenity of my family is far more important than arguing about two senile old men who don't even know we exist. None of us is going to influence the election in any way, nor will we influence the opinions of those around us. It's not worth getting upset over it.
After the last cycle, my new year's resolution was to go to my happy place and stay there, and that's what I've been doing since. A few coworkers had the debate on at work the other day, and I simply went into the other room until it was over.
It wasn't the main thing but was a point of contention in my marriage. My ex wife and I are on the same side of the aisle. After the BLM protests and COVID lock downs she went way overboard. She became obsessed with politics. If I wasn't as passionate about whatever she happened to see online that day then she'd accuse me of not caring or having bad morals. It came to a point when I told her I didn't want to discuss politics with her. Jan 6th happened and she went nuts. She kept trying to talk about it and I kept telling her "I had a long day at work, let's talk about anything else". One day, approximately Jan 11th or 12th, I came home in a great mood. She said and I quote "you're in a good mood, let's talk about the traitors". She had other issues and those were more of why we got divorced, but the political fanaticism towards the end really was something.
Maybe agree to only watch and listen to nonpartisan outlets: PBS, AP News. Or a more moderate balance that you both agree on. CNN instead of Fox or MSNBC? ( or better news source suggestions)
My husband and I have opposite politics. Wasn’t always this way! But here we are.
Tbh, I love him and he loves me, and I know he wants what he thinks is best for the country— even if it’s not the same “shape” as what I think is best for the country. We had a tough time a few years ago when his politics really changed, but we’ve since made it something we laugh about or have long amazing talks about. It’s really been something that’s deepened our relationship, even though it was hard at first.
The issue here, in your life, seems to be that your husband is in a spot where he’s influenced by these really angry people, and is letting out years of suppressed anger. (My husband had one of those too, and is now out of that phase). I think a lot of people go through this. It’s normal to be angry about politics and the state of the world; it’s not normal or good to take it out on your family. That CANNOT happen. I had to be like “HEY YOURE INSANE RIGHT NOW. I love you but I’m not an outlet for this, and I need you to be a normal fucking human being when we talk. I’m interested in your perspective whenever you’re able to communicate it with compassion, but I won’t be an outlet for your anger.” I told him how scary and awful it was when his anger was intense (and he has never been an angry person, really, so it was new and weird. Imo a lot of men don’t know how scary they are when they are angry). He did what I asked. That was like 3 years ago, and since then we have had amazing communication— better than ever before.
This is a sticky situation, and not knowing you, I don’t know what you should do. I’m just here to say that there’s potential for real growth in your relationship if you stick it out and both try and understand each other. But if he can’t contain his anger around you or your family, that’s a dangerous situation, and you cannot stay. Only you know which is the case for your life.
I truly wish you the best.
I’m with you, I don’t struggle with my partner bht my parents
Remind your partner that you both have the same morals. issues are political publicly formed social agenda issues and hit or miss all the morals.
Life together, one way or another under politics should not change your basic morals and he is over reacting.
What to do about it? Turn off the talking heads.
Your husband is responsible for managing his emotions about politics, and is completely in the wrong taking it out on his family. If he's unwilling to figure out how to do that, then that's a problem worth leaving over, because it's not your family's job to be his emotional punching bag for his media-rage addiction.
The only thing I'd add is that if you've not communicated it to him as clear and directly as you have here, ("I don't care who you've voting for, this is not about that. You listen to rage-bait media, get angry, and take it out on your family. If you don't stop I'm leaving") you may want to club him upside the head with that and see if he can change his act. If previous attempts to communicate were focused on the "hows" and not his behavior he may not be getting a clear picture what's wrong and an opportunity to change that.
You cannot change him. Either accept it, or leave.
Yes! He is so uninformed and just goes with what his dad thinks. Drives me crazy. He started ranting recently so I've banned politics from the house and told him to stay somewhere else till its out of his system. I won't have the moaning around my kid
My wife and I have been together for 41 years and married 38. When younger we were politically the same, but now are divided on a lot but not all.
First, I have found that being extreme one way or the other isn't good for any one. I think most of you would agree that once you believe one way or the other, it isn't likely that any argument is going to change your views. so why argue? I myself like to get my news from both sides so as not to be stuck with extreme views. It is too easy to fall for rhetoric from either sides. Neither side is honest so you need to read between the lines.
You are best served to not so much listen to what politicians say, but rather pay attention to what they do. We know they say whatever they need to to sway people over to their side. Are what they are doing in line with what you think is best for the country?
No one is gong to get 100% of what they want in a candidate. On one side you like AB&C but not XYZ. On the other side the same. Both sides have good and bad points, so you have to choose what matters most to you based on their past actions. (how likely they follow through with what matters to you).
So yes, for the past decade my wife an I have have spit on who would best run our country, but there is also a lot of overlap we agree on. Like we both don't like our current choices, but have to work with it.
So, to keep peace, we mostly do not discuss politics in depth, but more so where we agree. These politicians will come and go. But your spouse and you will carry on. I always feel that we can make it through 4 years of anyone. Let's all hope the quality on both sides of the isle gets better. We really need it to get better!
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As long as he doesn’t vote for Trump…
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7d
after an election where we didn't elect her
Well, dealing with this theoretical, she wouldn't be Ford, for goodness' sake.
She would've been in the VP slot both times, and sometimes a VP becomes a P, and even unexpectedly, but most were on the ballot and the line of succession was codified in advance or by norms--LBJ and Truman, respectively, just for examples in the past century.
I like how this thread calls orange man full on fascist meanwhile Sleepy Joe tried to force vaccinate the entire country.
Sorry Joe I would rather lose my job then submit myself to your bullshit because Freedom means everything.
You're aware that mandatory vaccinations have a longer history in the United States than the Constitution itself, right? I'm sure you didn't complain about the mandatory vaccinations you had to take before you could go to school, either - not until your orange lord told them they were bad.
You're right that freedom means everything, though. That's why Americans oppose your bullshit. Always have and always will.
I don’t know why ppl allow politics to interfere in their relationships. It’s just politics! So not worth it.
When your politics is being okay with rapists or generally horrible people, it does matter
“it’s just politics” is an absolutely insane thing to say wow
It's not "just politics" anymore. It's project 2025, it's women having rights over their own bodies, it's care for transgender people, it's the rights of LGBTQIA+ and PoC. It's literally whether you are on the side of human rights or against, and if you willingly side with a party who supports and pushes racist, homophobic, and sexist ideologies, then those are the things you believe also.
You understand that politics is the foundation of all our lives, right?
For every single one of us, it's about the freedom to live our daily lives. For some of us, it's literally life or death.
How exactly is that "not worth it?" You really don't value your own life?
Not the foundation. Not even close. Our foundation is our family. Our relationships. Our friendships. Our connections w/those in our lives will be the only thing left of each of us when we leave this world. No one is gonna give a shit who you voted for.
But if you want to argue that politics does affect our personal lives on a daily basis, then you must realize that national politics plays almost no role in that. The politics that matter is local. Your mayor, councilman, city council, county commission, even state level like Governor & state representative. Those political offices do influence our lives. Even then, to allow that to get in the way of your interpersonal relationships is silly imo.
Ya'll are weird. I couldn't give 2 shits about politics 😂 Don't try to tell me about it or the president. I don't care.
So you're saying...you'd really like it to be a surprise when they come for you?
That’s not edgy or cute or whatever you’re going for. By not caring now, you’re setting yourself up for losing your own rights and freedoms.
Just being honest. Nothing "cute or edgy" about it.
Can I be honest back? You sound like my late sister, whose willful ignorance literally led to her early death.
Why call people weird for giving a shit? Be glad they’re smart and informed enough to understand that politics matter, because the policies pursued by different candidates can have drastically different real-world effects.
For starters, they could kill your pregnant friend, increase your neighborhood’s crime and cancer rates, and have some of those neighbors detained at length or deported. They affect the planet and its climate, and can lead to fires and floods. Everything is on the ballot.
So I hope for your sake that you’re so privileged you think you can afford not to care—rather than so ignorant that you can’t grasp the differences.
Not giving a shit about politics isn’t the flex you think it is. There’s like…… millions of lives at stake …. It’s weird to not care about people
That is a political statement, lol.
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Is he being an asshole and starting arguments around your kids? Listening to someone rant and be aggressive all the time is so scary and damaging for a child.