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That sounds like a shitty situation and has nothing to with polyamory.
Hello, thanks so much for your submission! I noticed you used letters in place of names for the people in your post - this tends to get really confusing and hard to read (especially when there's multiple letters to keep track of!) Could you please edit your post to using fake names? If you need ideas instead of A, B, C for some gender neutral names you might use Aspen, Birch, and Cedar. Or Ashe, Blair, and Coriander. But you can also use names like Bacon, Eggs, and Grits. Appple, Banana, and Oranges. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. If you need a name generator you can find one here. The limits are endless. Thanks!
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Hi u/Hairy-Bodybuilder441 thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
Recently found out my husband was cheating wi men + w a woman. The affairs w men started 7-8 years ago.At some point, he confided in the woman about being bi sexual + now he + the woman are w a man. They meet at hotels + have 3somes. She seems to be the “dominatrix.”. She is also finding other men for him! husband denies it. This has been deeply painful and confusing. He has always been a “homophobe” yet was living a second life with a secret identity for years. Has anyone heard of a dynamic like this? What is going on?!
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i am really sorry to hear this.. def not poly related but very affirming for my suspicions of homophobia. best of luck!
Posts must be relevant to polyamory, as defined by our community description:
Polyamory is only one specific type of ethical non-monogamy. It doesn't sound like that's what this post is about, so try /r/nonmonogamy?
There are a lot of flavors of non-monogamy, and polyam is just one.