What in your view is the worst local beer we have ever produced commercially ?
DiscussionANZAC shoutout to our cuzzies in Oz for most of the crud they make over there. Fosters, Castlemaine, ugh. Even VB is better. Shovel Malt was good tho.
No such thing as shit beer
Fun fact: the Actor in this Ad is Michael Hurst
The worst is Double Brown. That shit is brewed with the piss of a Waikato Draught chugging bogan
They say it's better now that when I used to drink it decades ago
But I'm sceptical
Anyone know who the guy is in the lion red ad?
Michael Hurst. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Hurst
Wild Buck. It was the only beer you could buy at the Auckland NRL Nines. I reckon that’s what killed the whole event.
Export Gold is absolutely fucking horrendous.
NEW ZEALAND LAGER. Those guys tricked me into drinking my own piss
My first attempt at buying beer underage they wouldn't let me buy steinlager, but they were happy to sell me new zealand lager
Bighorn, basically cancer in a can
TUI tastes like ass. Export gold is shithouse. All of them really Aussie beer is way better.
Name one aussie beer that couldn't moisturise an alligator. Theres a reason why Steinlager aint allowed to compete on the world stage. Keep your vomit in a can buddy. Chur
I’m not sure what you are talking about. I just prefer Aussie beers to ours, I’ve had plenty of both it’s just preference. TUI is fucking god awful. Steinlager pure is drinkable.
Ice or Flame 🤮🤮
This is what I was thinking too! I don't know about 🤮 though, it was so bland, like an even more flavourless Corona.
Flamé (pronounced Fla-may ideally with a pinky raised) for the cultured bogan found commonly in West Auckland)
Reminded me of how every fucking time someone will bring a crate of "Leon Rouge" for crate day.
Fuxking Flame beer and anyone who disagrees I’ll fight ya!
Post 1990...I would say Export Gold
Double Brown was the best of the shit beers, back in my day.
One of the popular sayings at the time was "If it's good enough for Jake the Muss, it's good enough for me"
NZ lager it's got lumps in it
Ranfurleys
Rannys always pretty bad. Nose hold shotguns but still tastes likes iron / metal
Everything with sulphites
Has to be Sid I remember getting a box from my boss for xmas, when your drinking it is says Pis..... it was not wrong... or Viking with the Motto "conquer the taste" It again was not wrong, but the taste was like a fucking t1000 and trying to conquer it was next to fucking impossible
"conquer the taste"
That is still, hands down, my favourite beer slogan ever. Because Viking was such an aggressively shit beer. And not only do they know how shit it is, they're actively telling you, and practically daring you to drink it out of macho spite.
You have to kind of admire the balls of these dudes to actually go with a slogan like that
somewhere on Bandcamp there's an aggressively lofi punk song which narrates the life of a guy who beats up his hippie neighbours for money so he can go buy vikings from the dairy. the chorus is "viking viking conquer the taste". it's bloody excellent and i am annoyed now that i can't find it
If you find it, please tell me. My mates will lose their shit if I just throw something like that on out of nowhere
BEST COMMENT EVER. Never tasted the beer, hopeful never will
DB Export Gold "Extra Cold" gets the "stupidest" beer award. Not so much because it's so mediocre - it's just Export Gold served a couple of degrees cooler than normal. But because after initially selling it at bars from special coolers, they then started selling it at bottle stores... at regular temperatures.
Brüer. Despite what DB might've wanted you to think, that swill had nothing to do with Germany. I remember downing boxes of it when I was flatting as a 19 year old. Awful shit.
Bruer slab 20 for $20 was a solid investment (in despair and maybe coming back up)
Are you me?? Hahahaha I SANK that beer when I was 19. Drank it, got plastered, played BF2. Good times!
I loved me a pissed up squad in bf2 days (sadly only got a graphics card that could play it towards the end of its life)
Steinlager. I know there's heaps more "low quality" beers nz has produced but somehow I can't get through a single bottle of steiny. It's supposed to be a decent lager, tastes like ass, isn't priced in the bottom rung if beers where it should be.
yeah it tastes like beer acid reflux, and then it starts getting towards room temperature, because its unpalatable, and gets even worse.
Most people who dont do steinyz are 4%rz
Timaru Bitter - tasted like homeless guy bum weez and fart dust.
Thristy liquor beer , only beer I've ever spewed tasted better coming up then going down
Ward's
Rheineck
My Dad would go through a crate of Lion Red every week. I'd drink any leftovers to see what it tasted like. Gross is what it tasted like.
Waikato
errrh wrong opinion. please try again
Nah, it’s a valid point. Waikato is shit, they may as well have just carbonated some river water and added ‘beer flavour’ to it.
That is actually how they madethe beer.
Actually, legend has it, they would dip a dirty pinky finger in the barrell during fermentation as well to give it that real "no hairs" taste👌🏾
Rangurly
I worked, underage btw, at the Clarendon Tavern bottle store after Uni in the early 80s. 1 wooden crate of Lion Brown (with a swap crate of empty bottles) - $11.95 (wholesale - before 7pm), $18.95 (retail) 7-10pm. Sweet jaysus, I saw a lot of fights in that shop, many times (at the encouragement of the bar manager who yelled "Comon, get involved!!") I'd have to abandon the cash register, leap the counter and hold back the brawlers. Why hold back? Well, they were all from the same family, cousins, brothers etc - fighting each other. The toughest older bro once punched his fist clean through the reinforced glass door. You never forget the shredding of a forearm that attempts that party trick. Good old days
Joseph kutze was just bog awful. Liquid poop in a can. Well, that’s what it gave you anyway
Gisborne Gold
It's ranfurly... anyone who disagrees can fight me after I finish vomiting
I'll go ya
No you won't... you clearly drink ranfurly.
I sometimes stay on an Island, pack in and out , Ranfurly 440ml cans are my go to. If you’re craving a beer it is passable and less rubbish to haul out. Ranfurly is the future of sustainable consumption.
Flame for headaches haagen for the shits.
Fucking aye flame gives the meanest headaches the next day
There was a local place where you could brew your own in Christchurch that also brewed beer onsite. At a festival, they were selling chilli beer. I like spicy food so I tried it. It tasted like they'd taken some weak lager and added capsaicin extract, there was no flavour, just heat.
"commercially"
Lion red is my safe word because I would never utter it in a sentence otherwise. I will still drink it, I will just never buy it.
This is a good representation of our mid beers
Ranfurly Draught or just plain old boring Speights. I've drunk so many boring Speights, so bored.
The smell when you first open a can of Ranfurly.
I'm sure there's someone on the production line who farts into the cans just before they're sealed.
Not a kiwi beer, but the smell of Godfather.. shudder. Flatmate had one. We google earthed the brewery. Edge of a mud hut town in the deserts of India. So grim.
VIKING, catchphrase was "conquer the taste"
Leopard
Paws
Pretty much all your stouts. You don't have to add coffee or chocolate to it to give it that dark/creamy quality. Stop effing about and look at how Theakstons or Beamish old men's breweries do it, or any number of Irish stouts. Because NZ sucks at it, every time. And anytime a Kiwi has said "such and such was all right" and I've tried it I've been left confused as to what Kiwis think a stout is!
I think to most kiwis stout refers to any drink that has a viscosity between that of an ale and gravy. Flavours, processes and any other technicalities have no place in this definition.
Two favorites of mine are Cassels Double Cream Milk Stout, and the dirty old cheap Coopers Best Extra Stout, it's a bit rough, tastes a bit like ashtrays, but I love it anyway. Yeah it's not Kiwi, it's Tasmanian.. whatever..
I take note of the Cassels recommendation. It sounds promising because it has cream in the title. However I note they may just be another cheap cheat having added MOCHA to it....which isn't how you get the dark creamy goodness. But I shall reserve judgement until 4 o clock beersies.
It has won the world’s best stout award 3 times… https://cassels.nz/product/milk-stout/
Cassels make the best milk stout in nz, the original one has taken best in the world for style at least twice
So often I see a new craft stout on the shelves, get excited and look at the label. Then I see chocolate or coffee in it and it goes straight back to the shelf.
The only good stout I've been able to find is Garage Project's Snug. So many of the other ones are packed with the same shit.
Snug is released each year for Saint Patrick's day so you may be lucky enough to still find a can or two around!
That stuff isn't for sale at the moment. They first made it a few years before Covid, and Gaarage Project don't make beers for too long. So....I just have to believe you! :)
Yeah I haven't seen it in ages so I figured it didn't exist anymore. I've moved out of Wellington though so I haven't been adjacent to quite as many craft beers. A sad day 😞
It’s Wild Buck no doubt, there was a period when they served it at Mt Smart and that was an awful time on and off the field. P.S Lion Red is great, hot sunny day, handle of Red from the pub?! Hw good!
As a Brit who spent 18 months travelling NZ, god you guys have some terrible beers. Low calorie tasteful garbage for the most part. Haagen made me feel rough after like two. But go to the south island and I've had the best, freshest, most complex beers of my life in Nelson.
I can easily drink four cans after work, but a craft beer means 40 bucks an evening spent at home with just four glasses.
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17d
We love surfing, socialism and market gardens so obviously we decided to make our own beer in our backyard.
Rheineck - God it was shit
Tasted like water but it was cheap
And not even 4% lol. Remember back once when we were maggoty teenagers and didn't realise and sank boxes of this shit and weren't getting cut. Checked the label and 3.5% (it makes a difference!) and were right pissed off. Ended up getting a couple of casks of Country Medium to seal the deal lol
Yeah it's not worth the calories. Here in Aussie, XXXX Gold is the same, 3.5% (mid strength) - but great when it's 36c outside and you nurse the slab all day long
Canterbury Draft was pretty awful
People used to say this was Lion Rouge just in a different can. Not sure I ever believed it but yeah, if it was over 1 deg C it was awful
Southland Bitter was a bit shit from all accounts.
Juice head 🤮
River water
Lion Red, Steinlager OG/Blue, Rhineck, and the Original Gisborne Gold - all disgusting.
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17d
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Tui
Any if them.
Why drink beer when any other alcohol is so much better.
Good enough for Jake the Muss
All of it ... get some whiskey instead, can't fail with a bottle of Jameson lol
Haast.
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17d
Garage Project Rhubarb Rhubarb Rhubarb was beyond bad as well ...
Love GP normally but agree that it was the most horrendous thing I’ve ever tasted from a can. I think it was a just a one off seasonal for the Fringe festival thankfully.
Red Band - Waikato's short-lived answer to DB Bitter. (I think - it's all a little hazy these days)
Was at a 21st (in Palmie, as a uni student), and they had a keg of RB.... we left and came back with our own beer.
Leopard - illicitly (drinking age was 20) bought a couple of flagons of this stuff in 1st year, and smuggled them back to the hostel.... blugh! tried to sell them.... tried to GIVE THEM AWAY.... no-one wanted them.
Carter's
I remember picking up a 12 pack in 2008 for like 8 bucks thinking how bad can it be? Absolutely God fucking awful.
surely it must be Rhineck
the shitty version of Stella Artois that's brewed in Auckland
they sure ruined a good beer
NZ Lager
Why did I have to scroll so far to find this... all I read was "worst beer" and it immediately triggered my muscle memory to spasm "NZ LAGER NZ LAGER NZ LAGER"
This is the one. It's a crime that it even exists.
It’s a crime to have NZ associated with it!
Reschs Pilsner.
Take every bad beer mentioned here, mix them together in half a glass, top the glass off with water, and you get Resch’s.
Did the rounds in my student years as it was literally the cheapest beer you could get.
When you offer a broke student a beer and they automatically turn it down and look like they are about to vomit you know it’s shit.
It’s ozzy tho
All those weird flavoured beers.
Steinlarger is the only correct answer to your question.
Controversial but I think it's the speights summit ultra - it tastes like beer flavoured water
weirdly on our summer holidays, every single beer can on the side of the road in Otago, Summit. the beer of the stupid.
Bloody great on a hot day
As a Type 1 Diabetic this stuff is a life saver to me. Has next to no carbs and zero sugar. Tastes a whole lot better than Export Ultra too.
It’s pretty much vodka and water with a tablespoon of beer added.
great I love it!
DB Export Citrus
As someone who's allergic to beer that's the only stuff I can drink
Thanks Ive always wondered why it existed.
I think we still have a couple of bottles of this in the garage. Stepdad forced them on us when we stayed with him once, the foulest drink I've ever drunk
The only positive thing Id say about them is they're not that bad to scull if you're in to that sort of thing
Steinlager. Tasteless fizzy water, the lowest common denominator beer.
It has to be Steinlager (green). They used to have a blue version and that was the better of the two but they discontinued it
Rheineck, NZ Lager or Flame
Flame (pronounced Flah-may if you're feeling fancy) is a perfectly fine return on investment, it gets the job done at a reasonable price.
Look, you and others point out the alcohol-content-to-price ratio being one of, if not the, best, and I cannot quibble on that fact. However I refer you back to the taste, and especially the after taste the next day, which in my opinion throws it back down near the bottom of the list. That, coupled with the ungodly havoc it played with my guts on a hangover leaves me with nothing but regret for ever having laid eyes on this abomination
Flame was a beer you'd funnel, but rarely enjoy
You have to earn it
In my day it was the best $ per standard drink
flame was defo shit
Flamol was good! Wasn’t it?
Leopard beer hands down winner
ICE is terrible. I'm not sure if it's a local. But I definitely second flame and the many shite fruity pale ales.
Leopard Beer out of Napier.
I was so glad when I'd had enough to pass out.
LOL - the young people are so lucky they missed out on *this* experience ... makes classic Rhineck look good.
Tasman bitter shudder. But oh was it cheep
Any of these boutique fruity shit pale ales. Just keep lagers around thanks! And Lion Red is is totally fine, so don’t knock it.
Anti craft beer but pro lion rouge? You must be a westie
Lol. Nah, wrong. Born and raised Southside.
Craft beer sucks dude.
Each opinion to their own, I find mass produced commercial beer sucks
That must be why its so popular and everywhere now.
DB Brown
As a Brit I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer but steinlager was pretty disappointing.
First visit to NZ back in 2011 on the flight over from the UK on an Air NZ flight. Very excited to see that they served 'New Zealand beer' on board so I ordered a steinlager. To say I wasn't impressed would be an understatement. Weak fizzy piss water.
Did you get a headache after?
Yes....but that could have been the jetlag/lack of sleep
Steinlager was popular in the 1980s. Before people developed taste buds.
Which Steinlager? There are several variants. But I don't think anybody would say 'Classic' as a 5% beer is "weak". The taste certainly isn't for everyone, but the reason a good percentage the beer drinking population go for it, is that unlike DB export (NZs lager of a type every country in the world makes) is that the 6th or 12th one continues to taste and bite like the first.
I'd suggest you were drinking Steinlager 'PURE'. ie weak, watered down cats piss.
No idea which version it was, it was a good few years back now. Just remember it tasting of fairly generic and bland lager. Comparable to something like Carling in the UK if you've tried that?
Yeh, I have, and tbh, Steiny Classic tastes nothing like it. Its got a fairly unique taste and bite to it and I'm definitely thinking you had a 'Pure' which as you say IS generic and pretty bland. I also know Air New Zealand do serve Pure on their flights. Awful stuff. Lol.
Ah fair enough then, I might give classic another chance then next time I'm down south.
Honestly bro, classic is a bit of an acquired taste. People either absolutely love it or definitely hate it. Personally it's my favourite mid priced beer and a definite go-to on a Friday night in the man shed. What I like is the 12th one still bites like the first one does. Never tasted anything quite like it.
It would have been Steinlager Pure, their equivalent of Heineken.
After 3 months in the gobi desert drinking warm 2% Chinese beers, Steinlager is actually pretty good.
Whatever it is it couldn't be worse than West end.shit beer made by escaped Tasmanians in fucking Adelaide.
I drank thru a box of this once during the day in the heat and did not feel any effect
Have you got it, do you get it, if so, how often?
Speights
You shut your whore mouth!
Lol
We used to say “Drink Speights lose ya mates” but then I moved to the South Island and all my new mates drank Speights.
There's no such thing as bad beer, just things you would rather drink than it, like battery acid.
There was a bar locally serving a beer called Lancaster county line IPA. A 16 Oz pour was $3. Other ipas on the menu were $7-$9. I ordered two of them and a burger and woke up the next day feeling like my head was about to implode. Chalked it up to dehydration from salty food. Next week, did the same thing. Another splitting headache the next day. I started to realize that every time I ordered that beer, I would wake up with a crippling headache the next day. However, every time I went to the bar, I would end up ordering that beer because it was so cheap and gave me a decent buzz. I was literally poisoning myself to save $8 😂
I’d be dobbing them in for breaching the Weights and Measures act. We’ll be having none of that imperial nonsense around here thank you.
I think it's a lost American.
Hey I can't help that the algorithm suggested a post in the r/newzealand to someone who lives in Pennsylvania lol
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I used to get gnarly headaches from drinking shit like Heineken all night. Try some different brews, not everything has to be craft or IPA.
How is Double Brown not firmly at the top of this list?!
Horse piss.
Horse piss probably has more of a kick to it
In today's cost of living crisis, dobros are actually quite easy to adapt to
You wash your mouth out. Doe Bros are a pillar of NZ’s binge drinking culture.
Is it even beer
It’s twice as brown as your average beer.
But that could just be because it’s made of Marmite.
Steinlager, absolute rubbish, and Rheineck
Isn't it all Pale Ale?
Clayton's Beer LOL, I'd rather have a 0.0% Heineken