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I had the same thought: this sounds like a power move. Maybe this person is of the malicious narcissist subtype? That's just speculation, though. But I couldn't see my grandiose or vulnerable narc (step-)parents do this. They also believe their own bs. Self-gaslighting is definitely a thing for them. I imagine a malicious narc wouldn't have such a strong need to gaslight themselves into buying into their own delusions and would gain more out of admitting the gaslighting being intentionally just to gaslight about admitting it.
Mine were resentful of my conception. Yep. I know. I know. 🤫 🤐
My mom has done this once. Privately she acknowledged her behavior and the mental illnesses it caused and how she was sorry. But then it got worse and when I tried to talk to her about it she acted shocked that I said what I said about her behavior, my mental health, etc.
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1.7y
1000% because I was sitting there wondering how in the heck did she now act shock when It was brought up, when a year ago she apologized for not getting help for my mental health from her behavior
Confessions are always weird.
The thing I've seen consistently with it, is the lack of remorse and the nonchalance they have when they say it. "Yeah, I play people. You just do a bit like this, and then you get that result." Often with a subdued smile upon their face, like they won some game. Then they switch the topic and start talking about food.
They're always emotionally disconnected when they say it, like they are for the rest of the time as well. They solidly block off any empathy.
Then I want to get far away from that person and never talk to them again.
Or there's a 'look'...someone else on here once posted...'sometimes the mask slips'...
They are 🤪 batshit crazy.
These are your children.
Both my parents confessed to my sister about how badly they've treated me years ago but to my face, I'm never good enough and they enjoy that I'm struggling. It's the most gut wrenching thing when you trust too easily it benefits them seeing you hurt.
Bc it's private. You have no proof that it ever happened.
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1.7y
No, it's just further gaslighting. Bc it happened in private, you have no proof that they admitted to anything, so if you tell someone that they did, they could just deny it.
THIS. If you try to bring it up to them later they will deny they ever said it.
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I know in my case my dad confesses stuff in private because of my mom.
Reverse psychology. They're aren't gaslighters if they occasionally admit to it...
My StepDad would constantly complain about punishing me to me, and how my mom always made him do it and that he never wanted do. Whereas my mother would gaslight herself into thinking I did something I didnt, worse case was when my Dad (not bio) got arrested on SA charges of a minor, and another thing also. Involving minors.
She gaslit herself into believing me not talking (due to a traumatic experience of them doing their own interrogation on me when he got arrested) was me wanted to protect him.
Yeah, no amount of convincing would get her to change her mind even 3 years after the fact. She solidly still believes Im protecting him, and that they didnt do no wrong to me.
At least for me, my mom never admits it. Honestly she believes her own gaslighting. She will frequently convince herself that something that happened, actually didn't. What you are describing though sounds to me like someone who knows that they are using gaslighting to manipulate people. Confessing it in private sounds a lot like "showing off" like they believe that they are powerful enough to gaslight you into silence even if they directly tell you that they are doing it. It sounds like someone who gets off on asserting power over others. I could be wrong. I'm just going off of what you've said which I know isn't the full picture. But if I'm not, that's an extremely dangerous person to be around. Be very careful.