I am kind of in love with my dead husbands brother

My husband passed away 22 years ago his brother and I have known each other since we were 17. Now 70 we both have spouses, but we are thinking of making a change for these last few years. We thought let it be and did Do we keep on being miserable I think we’re going to go for it

God damn. Use punctuation.

I wouldn’t do anything till you are on a consistent journey of healing .

According to the OP they had a boyfriend 3 months ago and a dead husband now.

I'd focus on learning how to write past an elementary school level first then get back to story time.

It has been a year, it's not like you were having an affair and murdered your late husband ffs.

Some people might make a big deal of it but there is nothing wrong with this.

Holy unreadable wall of text Batman. 

Here’s a ChatGPT formatted version for folks like me:

Hi, I (40F) have two kids by my deceased husband (45M) who died unexpectedly from a heart problem. Me and the kids have been getting along fine but still grieving. We miss him every day and talk about him a lot, reminiscing about old memories.

All of this started a year after my husband passed, on my daughter’s birthday, when my husband’s brother (37M), let’s call him Jim, showed up to give them gifts. I promptly made up an excuse to kick him out. Later, my girls got mad at me for it, so I relented and had him come over to cut the cake and take them out for some fun. When he brought them home, we got into it about all the reasons I hated him and didn’t want him around. This list included the fact he was the golden child and could do no wrong, how his brother would always take the blame for him, his brother would let him walk over him, and also the fact that he didn’t show up at the funeral.

After I realized all of these frustrations, he then told me the reason he didn’t come: he said that he waited outside the church and watched but couldn’t come in because he didn’t want to believe it was real, as his brother helped him so much and he didn’t know what to do without that help.

Eventually, we worked everything out and he’s been coming around a lot, babysitting and taking the kids out. One night, after we had all been out, we put the kids to bed and that’s when we kissed. I quickly pulled away, but then I couldn’t resist, and we ended up doing the deed.

In the morning, we talked and we both said that we really liked each other and didn’t regret it, but he said he couldn’t because he couldn’t fill my husband’s boots, and we left it at that.

I guess what I am asking is: is what we are doing wrong, and am I a bad person?

You did absolutely nothing wrong. I know a guy who married his deceased (rta)big brothers wife and took on his kids and they have been together years and years.

Is this one sentence?

You’re an adult and can do what you want, but yes it’s morally leaning towards messed up. You didn’t like the guy for essentially being a bad brother, now he’s trying to swoop in on his dead brother’s family and you’re thinking of letting him. Would not be comfortable with it at all. Maybe you’re lonely but there’s other ways to deal with that than creating some complex fucked up family drama

This is very hard to read! But is I understand it right you should sleep with the dude.

Are you? Or do you just hate change? And he's right there so it's easy.

What piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving, how express and admirable in action, how like an angel in apprehension, how like a god! The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

I don't think you did anything wrong. You're both consenting adults, both in a tough situation, and you had a conversation about how and why this relationship isn't right for you guys. However, I think this a greater sign that you need counseling. Your behavior wasn't wrong or morally bankrupt, but it could have consequences. You have your children to think about. Your babies who don't have their dad anymore. They need to come first in all this, and I don't think they would understand or be comfortable with you seeing their uncle. You need support and care, which he is trying to provide, but you should not treat these acts of kindness as though they were acts of romance, and you should not show your appreciation by being physically affectionate with him.

I think back in the old days it was fairly common for a widow to marry her deceased husband's brother.

NTA. Look for happiness wherever you can find it.

This is one long, run-on sentence. It desperately needs punctuation and to be broken up into different sentences, each of which makes one single individual statement. Thank you, Anon-Emus1623, for translating something that made my brain spin just trying to read it.

My takeaway: it's too quick to tell if you're truly finished with the mourning period to make any call regarding your next relationship. On the face of it, though, there's nothing wrong with seeing the man who was your brother-in-law, since your husband/his brother is dead.

Take it slowly. Commiserating is not love. It's just a support group.

One. Fucking. Sentence. 🤯

No way all that is getting read. Length-wise—novellette. Geez some of these epistles could be shortened a bit without missing context, people

Plus, at a glance it looks like it may be history’s longest run-on sentence.

I see nothing immoral here.

I’m not reading this but , that wild and you’re wrong

Unintelligent. Emotional.

Holy crap. Ever heard of a comma? I don’t even know how to reply, I gave up on the 421st word of the first sentence.

I'll take punctuation for $500, Alex.

Have you considered punctuation?

Good lord, please learn how to type my brain hurts.