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For the record I don’t feel much better either, physically, emotionally, overall feel pretty similarly to when I first started besides additional stress from dieting. The only thing that kept me going at first was health benefits, when I didn’t see or feel those it was losing pants size, but I only lost 2 sizes after 100lbs so that has been extremely unmotivating as well.
I was a happier, less stressed person who wasn’t losing handfuls of hair in the shower when I wasn’t counting calories and restricting. I’m still waiting to see the benefits.
How many calories are you eating? Are you eating enough protein? That level of hair loss is not normal with standard, healthy deficits
Yup my doctor says it’s related to my kidney and GI issues mostly related to stress but the stress started with the dieting so it’s like a self defeating cycle in that way, I find it extremely distressing to try to curb my food addiction with seemingly no tangible benefits to myself
Then you def need to speak with a doctor. You seem to have a lot of issues that could be interconnected
Have you gotten blood work done? Your descriptions on your progress, where you describe the weight, hair loss, as well as the fact you don’t feel better after loosing 100lbs makes me think of an underlying endocrine imbalance.
You’d think right??? I went to the head of endocrinology at northwestern before I lost the weight because my aunts have diabetes and thyroid disorders, so surely that would be my problem right? I got diagnosed with PCOS. Flash forward to now and 2 separate gynos have told me I don’t have any signs of PCOS. Except the neck beard I keep at bay.
See if you can get on Wegovy or Ozempic. In 6 months, my PCOS seems gone, I'm losing weight consistently, my period is regular for literally the first time in my 25 years of menstruating, and I just generally feel good. I'm still 90 lbs over my goal weight, but it's been a life changing drug for me. Literally nothing else that I ever did worked.
I don’t think she would qualify at her current wait
It’s prescribed for PCOS, her weight is irrelevant.
Probably wegovy as it is just for weight and maintenance and not T2D, it is so expensive if insurance doesn't cover it. I have lost 21lbs on Mounjaro, now I am up from 3k steps a day to 14k plus steps day, weight lifting 3 days a week. And have no desire to cheat my daily calorie limit. What I would have given for this food noise reprieve years ago.
Awesome!! So happy for you
Have you tried semiglutide ?
No im actually surprised you’re the first to bring it up, I kind of forget it exists. I’m not in a financial place for that unless it’s a last resort but making this post might be my “Last Resort” mile marker huh…
There are other medications besides semiglutide which are much less expensive that you may qualify to use. It’s worth a conversation with your physician to know your options. Sometimes meds can take the edge off- which may be what you need to feel less stressed. Don’t give up on yourself no matter what- you’re worth it.
Read all the potential side effects, which can rarely include necrotizing pancreatitis and death. No one plans to be the outlier. The drug is also way too new to know long term effects. You also have to take it for life. People are nuts to take it if they’re not morbidly obese/diabetic.
You don’t HAVE to take it for life. There are plenty of people on the semaglutide/etc subs that have titrated down and off of it. For many, it is a for-life medicine, but not for all. And quite frankly, for those who find success with it when nothing else worked, it’s worth taking for life.
It’s been around for like 15 years, it’s not new.
BS, Ozempic has been around for close to 20 years and that’s what sema is.
That doesn't mean it has no side effects.
Sure but you certainly can’t call it new
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1mo
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I think you need to speak with a therapist, too. This is not a way to speak to someone who is struggling.
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Are you a therapist? No? I am. This is not the way to talk to anyone who is struggling. That's not what "delusional" means, and you don't know how to solve this person's issues. Knock it off.
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Rule 2: Be good to one another. If critiquing do so constructively. Be polite and practice Reddiquette.
Rule 2: Be good to one another. If critiquing do so constructively. Be polite and practice Reddiquette.
You may not ‘feel’ the benefits but they are definitely there. The added years to your life and avoidance of health problems later in life may not seem ‘worth it’ but wouldn’t you rather have it accomplished it now then wish you had later down the road.
I went from 223 to 130 and I didn’t ‘feel’ better at first until I got honest with myself. Movement was easier, doing things was easier, I was motivated to do more. It’s a mindset.
If you are honestly feeling depressed then you need to seek treatment. If you are feeling defeated then you should talk to someone and work through it. Thinking that returning to a way of life that was unhealthy is going to make it all disappear is honestly you lying to yourself or being in denial.
Just to inject some reality here: Being skinny in no way guarantees health.
In about 99.99 percent of cases it helps, however
yeah, but you're gonna be healthier than if you were obese.
unless you go heroin chic skinny, which is uhhh... your mileage may SIGNIFICANTLY vary
By 2 sizes do you mean like from 22 to 18 or from 2x to xl?
How well did the larger size fit when you started? How stretched out had it gotten?
You may be better off than you realize.
That said, take a break. Eat at maintenance for a month or two. You'll gain some water weight at the start, which is normal and fine.
I went from 18 to 14, 12 on a good day, if I’m wearing something tight with a flowy skirt that hides the pannus apron belly that overhangs, then I can wear a size L crop top and that’s skin tight.
At 160 I did not expect a size L shirt to fit like a toddler crop top. Or to still have the 360 belly, hip and back fat that looks like I’m wearing an inner tube, muffin topping over my pants.
Hey so I’m gonna just throw this out there.
Sounds like your body stores fat really poorly and you have a lot of extra skin. Have you considered surgery? I was in the same spot in 2020 after losing 50 lbs (so nowhere near as much weight loss as you). I decided to get 360 lipo in January of 2021, as in, the surgeon removed fat from my belly, flanks, bra roll area, and especially my love handles. I look incredibly different now and the fat hasn’t come back since I have been maintaining (I even lost 5 more lbs after surgery). People never like to talk about this option but if you go into it with clear expectations, you can get amazing results… Check out the related subreddits here for more info.
Im so scared of the pain ive heard its the worst surgical pain you can elect to have
It’s not the worst - I hear facial surgeries are the worst because of all the nerves there. But it is pretty painful. I would describe it as a strong burning sensation just under the skin that goes away in about a week, and after that it’s just sore for a couple months.
Don’t worry though; I was prescribed a week’s worth of strong opioids to deal with the pain, and they helped so much that I did a Zoom interview for grad school a few days after I came out of surgery. I aced the interview and got in lol. I always think of that as one of the wildest things I did so far in my life.
Can you recommend good threads on this?
Do you need skin reduction surgery? At 160 I fit into med tops, size 12 pants easily. Sorry you’re having such probs.
I get it. I think your body type would be considered by some as “boxy” which makes you look “big” when in reality you are not. I think seeking out a personal stylist is the way to go here. Someone who can dress you and play to your strengths (cause you have them) and minimize areas you don’t like. You may never be considered a small woman (I won’t either because of my build) but you can be a fit, classy and confident woman. That is so much more than being small!
Girl I hear you… just came to say I just started calorie restricting and all I want is a Cinnabon. I have a horrible sweet tooth and it’s just so painful 😓
If it helps I recently had Cinnabon bc my kids wanted it at the airport and didn’t finish and it was trash. Not worth the calories by many miles
That’s great to hear! It’s like when I have a donut and then my stomach hurts! dang it!!!
The Pillsbury cinnamon rolls in the tube scratch that itch for me. The regular sized ones are 150 cal each.
Get a mini or 2. It's ok to have a treat every now and then. Full restriction doesn't work in long term loss and contributes to EDs.
That’s my plan for tomorrow!! Mini bun for the win!
Piece of toast with honey and cinnamon on it satisfies this desire for me.
How about some oatmeal with a little brown sugar and cinnamon, maybe even a dab or butter to give that cinnabon flavour and feel? Savour it, and it doesn't have to affect your daily totals at all. Unless you are strictly no sugar or some such thing. Just a suggestion.
Ha! That’s cute. How about: No.
Cinnabon is in a league all its own.
lol it’s like this person I saw claiming protein powder and yogurt was JUST LIKE Ben and Jerry’s.
Who are these monsters?! 🤯
Different strokes. I've had Cinnabon. It's not all that. I like something with texture, not something that turns to mush in your mouth. Anyway, the point was to get a taste without all the calories - probably quite a lot.
It sounds like food was your coping mechanism and now you've lost your coping mechanism and haven't got a new one. Well don't for losing that amount of weight for your health, being in a healthy range now definitely has lots of health benefits but it sounds like the reason you overate, your mental health hasn't been addressed. Now is a great time to get help for that. Also the hair loss? Could that be a deficiency or maybe stress? Basically I would talk to your doctor and also get referred to a mental health specialist
Check your vitamin levels? Iron, B, D
Do you have any old pictures of your arms from pre weight loss? You say there's essentially no difference but our perspectives can do that to us, clothes diaries can help too.
You've got total choice - stop (and maintain or gain) or continue (and maintain or lose more)
Those are the choices, do or dont.
At stages in my life I was making choices that gave me similar stats of 5ft8 & 260lbs. I was dealing with life factors that were difficult and doing CICO would have just been additional stress. So I totally get it. If my health had stayed unaffected I'd probably still be 260, but I unfortunately I became ill and pre-diabetic.
As someone who's lost and regained multi times. I just dont recommend wasting all the progress you made. But again, it's a choice.
Psychologically doing things against our own will is torture. So if you choose to stay at 160 which is fully recommend adding multivitamins and supplements (if your hair is falling out you need to fuel your body with nutrient dense food and top up with vitamins. My hair fell out when i was fasting, vitamin deficient). But you have to remind yourself that this is your choice and you're now doing it and maybe even start doing it joyfully.
Every HIIT class in the gym, when struggling I remind myself it's my choice to be there. No one's stopping me from leaving. No one cares if i break the promises i made to myself, regarding food. Those are my choices. As a Christian I've also found scripture helpful, specifically about find strength in God and not worrying and anxiety - your post seems anxious, and that's totally understandable, it's not easy or we'd all be 120lbs
90% of people who post in this sub need to be talking to someone. People don’t realize how disordered so much of it is until you come out the other side of therapy. Weight loss shouldn’t be this stressful.
I agree. Recently I've been slipping into some bad old thought patterns. I'm working to stop getting so hyperfocused and fearful. You're right - it shouldn't be so stressful. Like that.
I'm 5'2" and a personal trainer and I'm a size 8 and weigh 160 lbs, if anyone around you makes you feel, or gives you any notion that you are the "fat friend", they shouldn't be in your life, people that care about each other don't even discuss their weight or how it compares to the people around them, so if your weight is this relevant in your relationships you might want to evaluate who you spend your time with
How are you a size 8 at a shorter height and I’m a size 12/14 at the same weight and so many inches taller??? Like this is exactly what I’m talking about. Am I in the twilight zone
Bodies distribute differently. When I was 160 I was an 8/10, and I’m 5’2”! Also sadly though, when I weighed a lot more it was easy to ignore it because my clothes still fit. Denial here hahaha
And just to emphasize your point, I'm also 5'2" and back in my early 20s when I weighed 130 I couldn't even squeeze into a size 10, with my butt/thighs being the biggest issue. So I had to go up to a 12 or 14.
I will always vividly remember the day I couldn't get the size 10 pants up past my thigh, while my friend, who was like 5 inches taller than me, was in the next stall complaining how the size 1 was too loose and wondered if they had a 0. It took everything I had not to cry in that moment.
Also side note - similar to OP, when I gain weight I don't even get the extra boobage, which just seems totally unfair. lol
Anyway, I"m now early 50s and up until 2019 I held fairly steady at 110. Aside from a couple short periods like the one above, it always seemed to be the weight my body wanted to settle at and I felt most comfortable/healthy at. It did get a bit harder to maintain when my health tanked in 2010 due to MS and I became very sedentary and unable to exercise. But keeping a healthy weight became even more important at that point because I didn't need any more health issues if I could help it.
But in 2019 shit hit the fan big time in my personal life, and then continued to be extra stressful on/off since then. In which case, my weight ended up fluctuating quite a bit.
By end of 2019 I had dropped down to 95lbs - not intentionally. But I was shocked to see how much flab/fat I still had on my body; which seemed impossible at such a low weight. That's when I realized just how much muscle mass I'd lost over the years from being sedentary and my fat to muscle ratio had clearly shifted significantly. I managed to get back up to my usual healthier weight by end of 2020, and even build a tiny bit of muscle back. In 2022 life got super stressful in an entirely different way and I gained 10lbs using food as comfort. I lost and gained the same 4-5lbs over 2023 trying to get back on track, and then my dad died the week before Christmas. At which point, I went into overdrive stuffing my feelings down with food and gained another 10lbs in like a month and half.
So here I am now - once again at 130. But this time around a size 14 is even too tight for me. Same person, same weight as way back when, but different fat/muscle ratios due to changes in health, activity levels, aging, hormones, etc.
All that to say - not only can one's body carry weight and look significantly differently than someone else's body at the same exact height and weight, but even your own body can change significantly at the same weight over time and w/changing circumstances.
So comparing your body to someone else's isn't helpful at all. I get why we do it and it's hard not to, but it just doesn't work like that. You really have to just focus on your own body and what works best for you. Figure out what weight feels most comfortable and healthiest for you, regardless of how different that might be compared to other people of the same height.
I think experiencing such a difference in my own body at the same weight (back then vs. now) somehow really helped me to understand this. If my own body can be so different from itself, it's definitely going to be different from others. So no point in trying to compare it. All that matters is figuring out what works for me and my body now and doing my best to work with it.
I’m the same way too! I’m maybe an inch or two taller than you,but at my highest weight (181) I was a size 12. I think I just carry small. 🤷🏻♀️
Im 5’7 155 and a size 12
So, I was looking at your other stats. I was 260, size 22, 5'6. So, when you weighed 270, you were a smaller size than me, ten pounds and 2 inches shorter than you.
Right now, I'm 230, size 16/18. I've lost 6 inches from my waist, 5 from my boobs, and only 2.5 from my hips. I'm focusing on gaining muscle and counting calories. It seems like I should have lost so much more weight for all I've been working on, but that's just not how it's going. But I feel strong, I look better in clothes, my face has thinned out, and I'm getting back to the point where I think people would vastly underestimate how much I weigh.
Maybe take a step back from the number on the scale, and try to build some muscle. Find an athletic activity you want to be able to achieve. I started climbing in the fall, and while I still very much suck at it, it's been fun achieving goals, and feeling things get easier. There have been a few people who congratulate me, or ask how long I've been climbing, because they hope to be as strong as me some day. That's a HUGE ego boost.
Everyone is built different 🤷🏻♀️ we have different skeletons and body types and that's what makes the world go round, and no one is better than anyone due to their size. When we lay in our casket no one is talking about what size we wore, it's not what matters so don't give it more attention than it deserves
Yeah except it’s statistically proven — and also just my life experience — that people perceived as “fat” don’t have the same privileges in society. I want to grow my career, I want to make the same salary skinny people do, I don’t want to be overlooked in social settings, I want to build a family, I want to be taken seriously so my hard work can make an impact in the world without this hurdle standing in my way
Life will never be fair and if you expect that it ever will be, you will always be disappointed As a lesbian I will always have less privileges than my straight friends and family members. There will always be men that sexualize me and my partner and Crazy hateful bigots that want me to have no rights or call me horrible things. But I choose to focus on all my blessings like having a partner I’m madly in love with and my amazing children. I’m not saying I’m like this every day but gratitude for what you do have can change your life a lot.
What industry do you work in? It's really only a select few that your size would a be a hindrance. Try not to take ideas like "Fat people earn less" and assume it applies to you. It probably doesn't. Same with social stuff. 75% of Americans are overweight or obese. Your weight won't prevent you from meeting someone.
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1mo
Aw I'm sorry. Do clothes/makeup/hair not take you as far? I'm average weight but I'm imagining I would struggle more than an overweight person in that industry because I don't look very put together.
Your mindset is the only thing that can hold you back, if you make it a thing, the world will make it a thing. Your body doesn't define your path in this world, your mind does. Any job or partner that would criticize you on your outward appearance isn't worth your time. You won't wake up one day and be treated better because of your size, you have to change the way you see the world. When you love yourself the world loves you
I see how you’re trying to lift this woman up, but you’re just saying pretty lies. She is correct that looks matter.
I lost 50 lbs in 2020; been maintaining since. I also got liposuction to smooth things out after I lost the weight. The way I am treated now vs then is absolutely mind-blowing to me and caused me to lose a lot of trust in people. But I am finally happy in how I look for the first time in my life ever.
u/B00MBOXX, I’ve been where you’ve been - having lost the weight but not looking the way I thought I would. If you can manage to save the money for liposuction and/or skin removal surgery, it can be life-changing. And yeah, people treat you way different when you look attractive to them.
You don't know what I look like or anything about me, and I wouldn't lie. This is true and how everyone should feel, we have a choice in how we see the world, how it sees us, and who we surround ourselves with.
I wasn’t saying that you’re lying - I know you are saying what you believe. But objectively, physical attractiveness and social/professional success are linked closely. There are many studies on this as well as the experience of real people on this subreddit.
Hey, I can commiserate with you. Several things that I can advise you (which is also advice to myself) 1. Be nice to yourself. I know it sounds corny but give yourself complements and hype yourself up 2. Think about all the people who look at your stats and wish they were as thin as you! 3. Think about the people who have true deformities. 4. Realistically you may just be the type of person that needs to lose a lot more weight in order to be considered “normal” don’t compare yourself to others just compare yourself to you. 5. Build muscle girlfriend - that should be your main goal at the gym! You need to Shift your body composition drastically which may mean you gain a bit of weight in the short term. 6. Wear only clothes that are flattering on your body type. Wear push-up bras with padding, peplum tops and a-line dresses to camo your stomach - it’s all about creating lines that build an illusion of an hour glass 7. You can still be successful even if you don’t have “skinny privilege”. You sound intelligent you can’t possibly think all there is to life is your weight, think about what success really looks like to you - is it really just a dress size or is your life more meaningful than that 8. Pray to God!
I'm 5'2, at 160lbs I was a size 14 on a real good day but usually a 16. It depends on where the weight is being held.
Stores vanity size to varying degrees. It might be that she shops at stores that are worse culprits. Clothing size is really not an accurate indicator of how big you each are!
I'm 5'9" and at 160lbs I was like a size 12 and L or XL in shirts. You aren't alone!
Sizes are such a mind fuck. I'm 5'8, 157 lbs, and between a size 2 and 8 depending on what I'm wearing. It doesn't help with my body dysmorphia at all!
Perception of your size can be incredibly confusing. When I was this same weight five years ago I thought I had the perfect body, but doing it all over again this time I feel like I still need to lose 20 lbs.
I feel like I ghost wrote this post. I’m also 5’8-5’9 and I’m built like a linebacker. Broad shoulders, wide ribcage, carry fat in my stomach, face, and arms. No butt at all. And I’ve also lost 110 pounds, and I’m still bigger than every other girl I see - even those who are shorter AND WEIGH MORE??? I go to the gym 5x a week and it just gave me some muscles under fat. Unfortunately the only thing I can think to do is keep losing weight until it, hopefully, eventually makes it impossible for me to look big? I’m so tired of this crap. Genetics sucks, and sometimes we’re just cursed.
I thought about making a progress post here given that I’ve lost so much weight but tbh I feel like no one would believe me if I told them my weight now, since I don’t look like it. I’ve even just stopped telling people I go to the gym and workout as much as I do because they always seem so skeptical.
I could have written this too. Especially 30 yrs ago in high school. At 5’8” and 140 lbs, I was definitely the “fat girl” because I carried my weight in my stomach and around my face.
Right before I had rhinoplasty at age 30, a friend told me that she had had liposuction on her jaw and neck, nowhere else, and it made a big difference in her appearance.
So I had the jaw/neck lipo while I was under anesthesia anyway. I did it while I was at my thinnest, so they would suck out the exact fat I could never lose. Without a fat face, I didn’t hate myself every time I looked in the mirror, and everyone thought I had lost so much weight. Even when I had my 30 lbs of pandemic weight, it didn’t give me a double chin.
The only time it REALLY hurt was right when I woke up from surgery for about 30 seconds before they shot me full of morphine. Yes, it was a burning sensation but it was such a small area and for such a short amount of time I would definitely do it again. I had to take pain killers for five days and was really sore for about a month but not excruciating. I probably have some loss of feeling in that skin but I really don’t care!
TLDR: my jaw liposuction - pain not too bad, happy with results
Me too. When I was 18, I was 200 at 5’9 and I was wearing size M shirts and 12 in pants. Then I gained 100 pounds. Now, I am back around that weight (196 to be specific). LESS than what I was before. Now I can barely squeeze into a size 16 pants and XL top…. I do weight training so it’s not the muscle weight thing. Also my face is so fat at 196, but when I was 200-230 back in 2018, my face was SNATCHED. I don’t understand. I feel like I ruined my body and stretched it out too much. Idk.
i have a similar shape, i carry a lot of weight in my neck, face, and upper body, and i'm also 5'8, and i don't really start to feel "average sized" until i'm under 150. some of us just carry our weight differently unfortunately. i definitely am very jealous all the time when i see women that are hourglass shaped and look thinner at much higher weights than me. but the few benefits that i tell myself are that it's technically "easier" to lose weight from your upper body than your lower body, and you'll most likely look younger longer with more face fat.
You are very correct! I am also 5’8-9”. I carry my weight in my stomach and boobs. I lost 45ish pounds and my neck and face slimmed down significantly, which is great. Except now I really struggle with feeling like I look so much older. My neck is less than tight skin wise and jowls suddenly appeared. I am working on my skin care and feeling better about myself but there are upsides and downsides to how we all carry weight. We certainly can be hard on ourselves.
Skin will tighten up! Congrats on the weight loss! Give your skin a while (year+) and you'll be shocked at how it bounces back!
Yes! I’m 5’8 and it’s the same. My face is almost unrecognizable with a 10-15 pound difference. It’s kind of a mind fuck and it should be, it’s fucked.
It sounds like you may have an underlying health issue that your doctor has not spotted. Are you getting enough protein and vitamins? It kinda sounds like you may have some deficiencies, and even just a multivitamin could help, but it takes some time to replenish.
Also, I was reading a post a few days ago about motivation, and people suggested going to the gym or wherever you would have access to 100 lbs and carry it around for a bit to see how far you have come. That 100 lbs wasn't for nothing even tho you are dissatisfied with your physical results.
How you are feeling physically does sound that you have something else going on, tho. I would definitely talk to your doctor, and if they don't listen, go to another. Congratulations on the 100 lbs. That's a great accomplishment even tho you may not feel that way now.
I was thinking maybe get checked out for Cushing’s, especially if that back/neck fat is particularly noticeable at the upper part between the shoulder
Yes!!! Weight loss can be a huge stressor that can trigger a shit ton of cortisol release. Was also thinking if not something major like Cushings maybe something similar but less major like PCOS. Especially with the belly fat.
I first read this as someone being upset because they are built heavier. I'm 5'8" and when I was 160, I too, was built like a tank, but I was muscular and I didn't feel like this. This sounds more like someone is really upset because they carry their weight in places that make them appear "fat", even though they're at mostly a healthy weight. And with all of that stress and anxiety...definitely sounds like there could be a health issue.
Yep I’ve got the hump but reading Cushings posts about optic nerve swelling is eerily spot on to concerning symptoms I’ve been ignoring tbh
Then get checked for Cushing's and good luck! 🤞
I really think you may have Cushing’s disease. Please get tested ASAP.
Yes I came here to comment the same OP! The fat distribution and thinning hair, or possibly pcos
I noticed you mentioned hair loss in another comment. Increased hair loss due to a calorie deficit definitely isn’t normal or okay, it’s a sign you may be eating too little or there’s some other underlying health condition you may not be aware of. How many calories are you consuming per day?
From the bottom of my heart, try not to be too hard on yourself. You lost 100 lbs, that’s very significant. Your body may have changed in ways and shapes that you weren’t expecting. You may have thought you were gonna lose 90% of your weight from your stomach, but damn it you lost it from your tits. Or maybe you thought you would lose more face fat, and instead your thighs lost a ton of weight. There’s no way to predict where you’re going to lose fat from and whether or not the shape you end up with will be the exact one you want. Everyone may not have a natural hourglass shape, or whatever shape it is you may want, but I think weightlifting is a great tool to help build up the muscle groups that you want to get larger, and muscle tone will also just help with your overall appearance and ability to burn calories.
You may also be hyper fixating on your body now that you expect it to look “better,” vs before when you were overweight you may have been less critical of yourself and critiqued your appearance less. Any time I begin to focus a lot on weight loss, I automatically begin to think I look bigger every day because I am focusing so strongly on my appearance (much more than I normally would). Also, is it possible that some of the “fat” your seeing is actually loose skin?
Lastly, I have had an awful eating disorder (2 years recovered!) and during it I was never “skinny.” Well, I thought I looked way fatter than I was due to body dysmorphia, but I was never underweight or anything like that during it. Despite not being underweight, my eating disorder still took an awful toll on my mental and physical health. From the things you’re saying about hair loss and the amount of stress and pressure you put on yourself, you should really be careful! I don’t care what anyone says, no amount of weight loss is worth an eating disorder. I understand the absolute exhaustion you must feel from all the effort, obsession, and calorie counting you’ve put in. I really hope that you can be more gentle on your body and pursue mental and physical health, whatever that may mean for you.
Also, (I know there’s a lot of debate over this here but I’ve experienced it first hand) you may be drastically under-eating for your body and activity level, causing metabolic adaptation. This would make sense with you having to be in a drastic deficit in order to just maintain. I used to maintain on 1200-1400 calories, but after ED recovery I’ve been able to lose weight on 2200 calories. Never realized how bad I fucked up my body by barely eating at all when dieting my entire life.
Thanks for saying this. I have had a very similar experience and other people in this sub have called me delusional for talking about it. I used to struggle to maintain at 1200; now I'm calorie cycling in the neighborhood of 2000 and shedding weight easier than ever in my life after recovery.
Yup, it’s nice to hear someone else has had a similar experience. It’s talked about a lot in ED recovery, but I’m always scared to bring it up here because people would call me delusional.
I used this community a lot when I had my ED, they’re definitely very firm believers in TDEE calculators being accurate per person and that TDEE is usually grossly OVERestimated. Leads to a lot of people eating waaaay less than they need to lose weight and plateauing at 1200 calories cause they can’t bring themselves to eat any less. I’m not trying to diagnose anyone, but a large part of this community have the traits of an eating disorder, or the beginning of one. That’s not to say that we should be eating junk food every day 24/7, but there’s definitely a level of balance that doesn’t involve starving every day. I agree, weight loss is suddenly so effortless for me now. I’m never hungry, and I eat dessert every night! I’m not even talking fruit, I enjoy ice cream, brownies, etc. Recovery is a long process but totally worth it. Congrats on yours!
Oh my god that's exactly right. I would lose weight for a while then my metabolism would grind to a halt and I'd be encouraged to restrict harder and harder and eventually every time I'd lose for a while and plateau again until eventually I'd bottom out or realize I was going to die if I kept on, so I'd quit entirely and the weight would pour back on. Now I'm not counting at all, just eating intuitively in the ballpark of 2000 and eating whatever I feel like (not that I'm eating garbage, just that I don't torture myself with volume eating huge loads of low cal shit I hate, like I did before) and I'm down like 50 pounds without a single day of stress about it. The "LaWs oF tHeRmOdYnAmIcS" people would say this is impossible and for the life of me I can't figure out why they think metabolic processes are perfectly linear and consistent under all conditions. "Eat less = lose weight, eat more less = lose more weight!!!" Not for me, it did not work that way.
In fact the biggest game changer was that I got one of those full body scans done that calculated my skeletal muscle weight and BMR and a trainer told me I needed to be eating about five hundred more calories a day that I really started the recovery process for real. People here called me delusional and said that my doctor and trainer and nutritionist were all lying to me to spare my feelings because they knew I wasn't really motivated to lose weight, like wtf??? I was so motivated to lose weight that I've almost killed myself in the pursuit of it more than once. I'm so glad I was in a better place when that happened this time or I might have believed these people.
Thanks for posting, and congrats on your recovery too! Yay, us!!!
Oh no, not the Law of Thermodynamics statements! I hate those! Lmao. I get where they’re coming from, but I got my B.S in Nutrition and I’m taking my DTR exam soon. I can promise there is a lot more that goes into weight loss than that. Not only that, but losing weight AND keeping it off is a totally different ballgame than just dropping 50lbs and not being able to sustain the starvation to keep it off. Sorry to hear that you took the dieting so hard, it can definitely lead to suicidal ideation. Everyone just keeps telling you that you aren’t determined enough, when you’re so determined that you’re already starving! But, yay for us now! Hope you keep up the healthy happy lifestyle.
Oh I'm so glad to hear that, the fitness community needs more voices like yours.
No woman who is 160 lbs at 5’8” with muscles is fat.
Either you measured wrong or your standards are unreasonably high… I bet the latter.
I would recommend taking a break. Stop trying to lose weight see if you can stay at your current weight for 6 months.
I have been at 160 for almost exactly 1 year, I plateaued and in that time frame is when I lost faith as I considered what had actually changed or improved in my life, the only thing was more male attention and better clothing options, meanwhile the setbacks (lost half my hair density, grays hairs, sagging skin and wrinkles, all while still appearing visibly overweight, insane stress levels and heart palpitations, constant fixation on food). after only losing 2 pants sizes in 100lbs, that was very quickly demotivating. I’ve asked close trusted friends to guess my weight since the weight loss when I was worried I might have body dysmorphia, them not having known what weight I started at. Almost everyone says 200 or somewhere in the 200 range, not in the 100s. I don’t know how you can possibly say that’s not being perceived as “fat”
Since youre worried about some health symptoms, what do you think about asking your doctor about if they have any meaning, especially the heart palpitations? Maybe others that have lost weight can help give you answers about sagging skin/wrinkles, but Im sure since you lost weight so recently that these symptoms wont last in the long term. Most people in a healthy weight range like you are in dont experience some of the setbacks you mentioned. The best pro of you losing the weight you lost are the health benefits that will help so much long term
From this site I saw it does seem youre within a healthy weight range for your height: https://www.bannerhealth.com/staying-well/health-and-wellness/fitness-nutrition/ideal-weight. If you want, you could maintain your weight even longer or try going down within this range of what’s healthy.
I actually went to the ER when the heart pain got extreme in January right after having Covid, they think it could be a mix of that plus my GI issues and mainly stress. Like, the ER drew blood, did full scans (that I paid $1200 for fml fml fml) and found nothing in my lungs or abdomen. They sent me home with an inhaler and told me to get a script for anxiety. The only thing I didn’t mention is my fucking weight because we were so focused on the EKG of it all.
What are you doing for your stress! You need to handle that bc your do sound super anxious and focused on appearance. Did you take anxiety meds?
Yeah nothings changed yet… but it’s only been since January so 3 months.
You should have already see an improvement in your anxiety after 3 months.. for sure. You could be on the wrong dosage or try a different med. they don’t all work and sometimes you have to keep going to the doctor to sort it out. Anxiety can be all consuming and ruin your life. Just make that your focus as constant stress as your explaining is not healthy at all. Once your anxiety is under control I think a lot of other thoughts and feelings your having will improve
Im sorry they weren’t able to find anything from the blood draw to help with the heart pain. If you can see a general doctor since those are much cheaper, like I hope I never have to go to the ER because I know its really insane how much they charge. If you see a general doctor, I usually pay the copay, $25, and they can at least get a document of your health history going.
With the general doctor, you’ll be able to mention your recent weight loss, the stress, GI issues without being in a hurry like in the ER. If you need more specialized care, they could refer you to someone that could help you better too
Absolutely wouldn’t recommend flagrantly using the ER, I just got to an extreme point (probably because of Covid) where I couldn’t even bend at the waist without shooting pains to my heart which is when I went to the ER. Now it’s more like heart palpitations from stress once in a while.
Gotcha, sorry it got so bad, Im glad you did go for the emergency. I hope youll be able to find the root of the heart issue soon.
Have you seen this site? It’s height-weight-chart.com; you can look at pictures of real people at various heights and weights. I have extreme body dysmorphia, and I find it helpful to look at other women who are my height and weight. Sometimes that’s the only way I can convince my brain that I’m not overweight anymore.
You said that you get more male attention. I can understand that sometimes that attention is unwanted, but fat girls don’t get a lot of attention. You probably are not as “fat” as you think you are.
It sounds like the stress is hurting you a lot… you should probably put less effort into weight related things. If focusing on it is causing stress and not causing weight loss, what’s the point? Just commit to not gaining it back. And maybe commit to 1 physical activity.
For example, I have trouble with my weight, but I really like squats. I’m still fat, but I’m stronger than anyone I run into on a regular day.
OP people are trying to be as friendly and as helpful in this thread as possible, but none of it can help you if you're not in the head-space to hear it. We don't really know what's going on, and we don't even have a picture of you (not that you need to give one), but the advice in here is sound. Therapy, medical conditions, surgery. Check em all please, particularly the first.
It sounds like your cortisol levels may be causing you to look heavier than you actually are. Try to find ways to relax, and I guarantee you won’t be as bloated looking.
First of all, congratulations. The effort and consistency needed to lose that much weight is amazing and you should be proud of that. I can empathize with not being happy with where you are, despite having come a long way and it sucks a lot. The only advice I can really offer is to go easy on yourself and possibly take a break from actively trying to lose weight for a little while. It does get very exhausting to be at it for such a long time.
Can I see what you look like? At that weight, you CAN'T look as bad as you say you do. Maybe you just think you do?
When I look at other bodies on r/ progress pics of the same age, height, weight, gender… I look 50 lbs heavier, no lie. I am huge.
I feel a similar way with the progress pics sub as a guy who is 6 ft, having gone from 250ish to just about to hit my original goal weight of 180. Everyone else on that sub goes to 180 and they have a great pair of abs and stuff, but for me I still have this huge gut. I've come to the conclusion that even though I'm over 6 ft I'm going to need to go down to at least 165 pounds to look anywhere decent. It's so frustrating.
Just from reading through your responses it sounds like some emotional health therapy is warranted. It appears you have a lot of anxiety issues among other things that are likely exacerbating your situation at the moment. I totally empathize with the difficulty of eating healthy and never being the tiny person you'd like to be. But there is almost always an emotional component that comes along with the over-eating/trying to eat better. Diet and exercise are super important but so is dealing with whatever emotional issues that relate to the food, body image, self image, etc. I'm not sure is it's that's easy to see a therapist in your area but I would absolutely recommend looking into one. Maybe you would need some medication as well but first and foremost should be the talk therapy. You've got some stuff that they can help you work through that will help your journey with food be less challenging. Wish you all the best because I know how hard this all is. Don't give up!
I think you may still have a touch of body dysmorphia and unrealistic expectations.
That being said. Someone in my family has your body shape and she could not lose the weight on her own and got gastric band. But she still has to be very careful not to weight train too much for upper body as her traps get supersized and she loses her neck. It’s best for her to do body weight exercises for upper body, light resistance band for arms, Pilates and only heavy lift for lower body to balance her body shape. You don’t have near enough extra weight for any kind of medical weight loss help but if you don’t give up on the weight loss and adjust your workouts to minimize your upper body muscle mass, you absolutely can look “thin”.
But it’s worth mentioning that some CrossFit girls would kill for your body type as it’s usually so much harder for women to grow upper body muscle which is important for a lot of the skills they do. If you have no luck looking the way you desire right now, maybe try a sport like CrossFit where you can learn to use all that muscle, because if you get hooked on it, the body type you aspire to will change and you won’t mind some upper body bulk.
Can you add a photo and then we can give some realistic feedback? What you're going through sounds so so hard. But reading your post my mind definitely jumps to "she's just being hard on herself" 🙏🏼
2 pant sizes in 100 pounds is..... realllllly wrong.
At 5'8, 160 you should look pretty trim, esp if you have wide broad shoulders.
You might have an absolute ton of extra skin, and while unfortunate that is what it is. You can elect to get surgey, espeically if it's causing you medical problems (infections, sores, discomfort, range of motion issues... etc). Or you can settle for truly knowing you've done your health a huge service and extended your life many many years.
I'm in a similar boat. I start at 5'8 and 340 pounds. Broad shoulders, barrel chested. Size 52 jeans. My cardiologist told me point blank if living into my 70's and possibly 80s seemed appealing to me.... I really needed to start doing something about my weight / health. Not something "new", but just how concerned he was finally flipped the switch for me. I'm now down to 265, and from a 52" pair of jeans to a 42" pair of jeans.
Is it possible I won't look "great" when I get down around 180? Sure. I might have loose skin. The man boobies may not fully go away. I might not look as great as some other guys do. But you know what? I do kinda fancy the idea of living into my 70's and 80's.... the idea that doing this now can add 15, 20, or even 30 years to my life is well worth it.
As an added bonus, other than not getting to pig out all the time or eat as often as I want, I really don't feel deprived of anything or that it's any more extra work. I sincerely don't mind using a food scale, and tracking my foods. Doesn't add but a minute or two of work to my day and it keeps me accountable and honest. It's like balancing a checkbook really. If you don't run the numbers, it's soooo easy to run out of month at the end of the money (no... I didn't word that wrong).
Be proud of yourself!
I know it's hard. I know you want to look like other girls. I know some people end up with far better results. Will I have loose skin? I'm sure of it. Will it be "bad". Maybe. It'll be noticable for sure. Will it be bad enough for me to really care? Maybe. But there's not a thing I can do besides lose the weight and find out. But my health will greatly benefit either way! Many added years to my life to spend with my loved ones. All the while I don't feel cheated in the slightest. I can still eat pizza. Just one or two slices, not four or five. I can still drink whiskey, 5 or 6 shots... not 15 or 20. I can still have ice cream..... just carbsmart and not death by chocolate. It's SO. WORTH. IT. Even if I have to have the death by chocolate. I can swap calories around to make it work. If I want that 500 calorie bowl of chocolate ice cream, that means lunch is going to be a bit lighter and maybe no other snacks today. Is it worth it? You have to decide. I'm at the point now where I'll just stick with my carbsmart for 150 cals with a drizzle of chocolate syrup and then I can have a big salad w dressing, a ham sandwhich with pickles and mustard, some grapes, a yogurt and a hunk of soft mozzarella cheese for that some 500 calories. And I LIKE those foods! So I'm not being punished!
I just had two huge ass tacos to finish my 1500 calorie day. 2 oz of lean beef in each, a handful or two of salad greens (iceberg lettuce, tomato, cucumber), 1/8 cup of shredded cheese in each, and two tablespoons of salsa in each. That whole meal was 450 calories, and those tacos were huge. The tortillas were zero net carbs and 60 calories each. I'd eat that for the rest of my life, and enjoy every bite.
I can’t say much I relate as an inverted triangle woman. I hope u feel better!! I know it’s hard but I just try to not think about it because at the end of the day we are more than our bodies.
Is there any chance you have PCOS? I do and carry my weight up top like you mention. It’s very frustrating. I’m 5’4” and 185lbs and a size 12/14. Anyway, iirc hair loss is a symptom of PCOS, so might be worth looking into if you haven’t already!
Yes, or hypothyroid. It’s worth a doctor visit and asking them to run labs.
You need some therapy. Sounds like you got a lot of pent up feelings on your own self worth n while getting more physically well will help it won't solve those problems
I have similar struggles! I’ve been at this since Jan, lost 30lbs, and I’m in the same size pants, 18. I was at a family even last weekend, no noticed I lost anything. Not my mom,sister in law.. nieces etc! I came home and got into my own head about thinking I looked a lot thinner than I was 🥺.
Then I remembered that they have seen me different variations of fat/big for my whole life. So I think they either don’t notice or don’t want to bring it up since they know it’s a struggle.
It still bothers me, but I need to use that as the motivation to keep going and get comfortable with being proud of my own progress.
As far as other people not believing you lost 100lbs, if you are talking to someone who is tiny/petite… for them, losing just 20lbs would be a tremendous amount visually- so they can’t possibly visualize what 100lbs off is. Does that make sense? I don’t tell thin people how much I have lost… they have ALWAYS been shocked unless they were chubby one too!
Maybe commit to a new or different plan. Like add in intermittent fasting or take yoga vs muscle building for one of your workouts.
Anyway- try to find a way to shift your perspective. You’re doing great and have come so far
I’m down 140lbs. I’ve been working for over two years now. I’m also getting tired of it. Sometimes, I’ll put on a pair of shorts when I was at my heaviest to get refocused. When I’m in those giant shorts, I can see and feel how much weight I’ve lost. Most days, I look in the mirror and still see the same guy 140lbs heavier. I try to focus on how my clothes fit now. That I went from 3XL to XL. That I went from 54” waist to 38”. That I’m no longer pre diabetic. My knees don’t hurt anymore. I try to focus on the changes I do see is I guess what I’m saying. You’ve done such great work, I know it’s not easy, but keep pushing. P.S. I can’t picture anyone looking heavy at 5’8” 160 are you sure you aren’t just seeing yourself that way? Good luck and be kind to yourself - you deserve it!
I'm 5'3" and 160lbs and I'm straight up feeling myself all day, every day. I wear a medium size in Walmart leggings, or a size 10 in jeans. I wear a medium size shirt.
You're 5 inches taller and my weight.
You're not fat. You probably, by BMI, aren't even overweight.
Being unhappy with the natural shape of your body is different to being fat.
We aren't all hourglass or tiny waist big booty influncers and that is OKAY.
I still have a double chin… and muffin top/apron belly… and a neck hump… and major arm/back fat… some of it is loose skin but like, I shouldn’t be too wide for a medium shirt still right????
If you're this unhappy and you can afford it, I'd suggest doing something about these problem areas. There are nonsurgical options to target fat loss and loose skin.
You can try fat dissolving injections for your chin, and RF frequency treatments and cavitation for targeted fat loss and sculpting.
I know most people here will say learn to love yourself or whatever, but I get botox and lip filler. It's about 1200 bucks a year but it's a small thing that makes me more confident.
If you have the option, look into ways to fix those genetic things that make you unhappy.
Some people just have a double chin, even when thin. Some people are just wide. Losing more weight won't change that.
So, for your health, move to maintainance phase, calculate your tdee and eat to maintain, not lose, and look into your options to fix whatever you think your flaws might be.
No one telling you you're fine is ever going to be enough.
You’re not wrong I may have to get surgical. I just think it’s really interesting that people have so demonized this desire to look healthy. It’s surprising to me that not wanting traditional visual hallmarks of obesity after years of hard work is seen as a mental health problem. I am okay with looking “chubby” or “overweight”. I am sick of being perceived as unhealthy, or not looking like I work out and take care of myself, of still having all the trademarks of being “fat”. It’s like someone telling you you’re crazy for putting in all the hard work of getting a degree, but you don’t get a graduation ceremony, or a diploma.
I feel you so much. I lost 88 lbs in 2 years. I know I'm not /fat/ anymore but I also don't feel particularly thin. Picking up weights did to me what it did to you, aka nothing + muscle outline contrasting funnily with the flabby fat that's still on my arm. What they don't tell you when you're starting your weight loss journey is that losing excess fat will not alter your body proportions and as a person who didn't know what my proportions even were as I was obese since childhood I just felt disappointed. I know it sounds stupid but there are so many skinny people who coincidentally happen to have nice proportions that I guess it's easy to assume that's how you're also gonna look when you get thin. The reality is that some of us are built crappy and god is it hard to deal with that once you look in the mirror and realize that the places your body is programmed to store fat in make you look far from what you imagined before. I send you a lot of strength hoping I will be able to garner some as well lmao. I hope that what we feel is just some kind of grief period that will pass because I think losing 100 pounds is something that not a lot of people can do and you're amazing.
So. Me too on linebacker shoulders. I’m working toward 100.
I do feel amazing now. At 65, losing 70 lbs means a great deal. I can walk a lot more. Before? I couldn’t do a full grocery run. I look at my lap and I am shocked that I can see a lap!
Here’s what I would do. Stop comparing yourself to others. Start talking nicer to yourself. You’ve accomplished something very few people can do. Find flattering angles for pictures. Ask for wardrobe help. Get a haircut that flatters your face. Start taking better care of your new body. Practice gratitude.
You really are amazing. I admire the hell out of people who set out to do something and met their goal.
First of all stop asking people to estimate your weight. They don’t know. Second it sounds like you’re very large build, big chest and arms, which is partly genetics and partly weight lifting. You will wear larger clothes due to that but it’s not fat and it’s healthy. It doesn’t sound to me like you need to lose weight, bmi normal plus muscle. If you want to though, I’d switch up to more cardio and strict calorie restriction.
OP, without pictures that show how supposedly horrifically disfigured your body looks from 100lb weight loss, we're just going to say this is a mental narrative that you need to work through with a mental health professional.
Most people have loose skin from such drastic weight loss. It sounds like you may need to speak with a surgeon about excess skin removal?
This is what I said about the obvious mental health issue is at the core of this …There seems to be some severe anxiety exacerbating this . People with food issues often have traumas and issues and use food as a coping mechanism and it spirals from there.. her giving up certain foods she said made her super stressed… the mental health issue needs to be a priority and other things will fall into place when it’s controlled. Therapy pills etc… she said the pills didn’t work after 3 months but uh gotta go back to the doctor to revisit the medication or dosage. This person said they are losing their mind and truly I think the first step is getting mental help.
Hey, a few years ago I lost 80 ish pounds and hit a goal weight I never dreamed possible (135 pounds at 5'4). I thought my life would improve, but I'll be honest, I had a lot of the same thoughts you did. That it wasn't worth all the fucking mental energy and stuff. I did look fit but my life didn't improve the way I thought.
You know what happened? I ramped up my eating and drinking, and plus a baby, I am now 40 pounds heavier than my original staring weight the first time.
And the feelings of failure, guilt, and shame I feel here on this side of the fence are worse.
I'm not saying you're feelings aren't valid. I get where you are. But what I learned through my journey was learning how to just love myself for what I am. To take care of me because I love myself. To not worry about pictures, sizes, or opinions.
You need to find a healthy middle ground that you feel like you can still be healthy, but not so consumed by your hatred of yourself.
I wish I knew how to do that for you, but it's something you gotta dog deep for 💜
could it be loose skin that you are just seeing as fat? which may be a struggle to see, buts its also just a marker of the amount of hard work you’ve put in. the “line separating the muscle and fat” made me especially think its maybe loose skin
Working out and eating healthy are lifetime commitments. Other than eating healthy are you working out?
Put 100 lbs in a backpack (if you can find one that will hold that kind of weight) and walk around for a few hours. Now - think of what you have been subjecting your body to these years. You have accomplished something most overweight people dream of every day. Stay away from mirrors and strive to be healthy. The goal is to stay alive and enjoy life. What other people think of you is none of your business. Well done you - keep it up.
Did you get yourself tested for any hormonal abnormalities? If you have some underlying endocrine disorder, your body will not respond to and exercise like it should.
Have a diet break, have calorie maintenance calories until you dont lose your mind then get back into it :)
You have extreme diet fatigue. Have a break, go back to maintenance for a month or so then do another dieting phase if you want to lose more.
Being in a caloric deficit is systemically taxing.
I’ve been stuck maintaining 160 for almost a year now😭 and the work I have to put in for this result is nowhere near worth it, this level of work is reserved in my mind for models and people with EDs not a typical person on the street who you’d look at and simply not subconsciously categorize them as “fat”
Hey there. I think you may need to start looking at yourself in a more positive light, and looking at your achievements (losing 100lb? Fucking Christ weldone, that's a monumentous task) and just giving yourself the praise you deserve for it. If you're looking to be happy through weight loss, and you're still saying all the negative things you did when you were 100lb heavier, then I'd suggest trying other things to change your attitude toward yourself than your body.
Losing weight in the long term is a difficult thing, even when you know what you're doing, and your tracking and it's still not where you want it to be. It can be frustrating for sure, but I'm worried you might be going down a darker path, especially with you comparing yourself to others and expressing how unhappy you are despite being a healthy weight for your height!
People lose weight for all sorts of reasons, but it's rarely talked about what to do when it becomes a crutch, or a specific type of tool we use to just go that bit farther, lose that bit more weight until the ideal goal is there.
Except our minds are awful to us, and when we so get to that goal weight we don't look how we expect so our mind tells us to lose more. A well known YouTube says this about managing your weight loss expectations for the majority of people: "imagine your dream physique, what you will look like naturally at the end of your journey. Now imagine that but 50% of the way there"
And that's not to dishearten people, or because people don't reach their goals, but because in the 21st century our expectations of what we look like at that weight is not reality, and it isn't our fault because we're lied to by the media and social media so much. It's not realistic.
Edit: hit the post button too soon.
Please think about looking toward therapy or just thinking about yourself in a more positive light, and stop comparing yourself to others.
I can partly relate. I used to be obese. Lost about 100pounds total as well.
Basically I have super wide hips and thighs. I wear M in shirts and L to XL in pants. I feel ridiculous. Whenever I get to my goal weight it's L. And then I tried to get lower and I get HUNGRY. Horribly constantly hungry. Then I binge and go back to being slightly overweight. And then it's XL again and I feel like a clown.
I tried everything for two years. Even some cosmetic procedures. All I did was lose time and money.
So now I decided to try what I haven't tried yet : taking it slow and not going as low. Maybe my hormones need to adjust to my current weight before going lower? Maybe I can build muscle slowly and get slimmer at the same weight? Either way I'll feel better focusing on maintenance and muscle building than trying to get lower again and again and bouncing back with a binge.
I'm sad that even getting to my goal weight wasn't enough for my legs to become "normal". I got a bony upper body instead. But that's just how my body is right now. I can't force it into another shape. I'll try to get back to this goal weight at some point. And this time I won't try to go lower and risk a new bounce up.
Upvoting in support. I don't have any answers, but I hope you can right this ship and feel happier, healthier, and more confident to reward the amazing work and commitment you've displayed.
Wow, I feel like I could've written this post. Also 5'8" and apple shaped. I carry all my weight in torso and back, have no butt and meh boobs. Believe me when I tell you: 100 lbs is a huge accomplishment! Enjoy the satisfaction of this step in your journey and treat yourself for all your hard work. Give yourself a cute manipedi, or sit down with some of your favorite tea and a good book. You deserve to bask in this moment!
My highest weight was about 260 and I'm currently about 185. I see little differences in my shape, size, and clothes, but I kind of accepted a long time ago that the ideal figure I have in my head (the classic hourglass) is probably beyond my reach. I can't change the genetics that decided I have no waist or butt.
That sounds depressing as hell... BUT what helped me years ago, as a size 18, was the practices of fat acceptance. I know that's kind of a taboo concept and seems antithetical to weight loss, but hear me out! When I figured out I'll never be a Kardashian shape, I decided I needed to love MY shape, no matter what size it's at. Self-love opens the door to self-care. I started reading books and watching shows like Shrill by Lindy West and following plus size fashion accounts on Instagram. I wanted to normalize beauty at any size for myself, and this helped A LOT. We're used to only seeing a certain size (and shape/figure!), and thoughtfully and mindfully expanding what we look at as beautiful helps us see the beauty in ourselves.
Accept that you are BEAUTIFUL whether you're 160 or 130. But as you keep losing from now, not only will you continue to be beautiful but you'll be improving your health. Imagine a longer life expectancy, lowering risk for all sorts of conditions, improving diabetes, and being able to play with kids or pets without getting winded? That's what driving me now. I accept myself as beautiful whether at 190 or 150, but I don't accept dying young or not living my life to the fullest.
And when you do get to your goal weight, the easier to find clothes sizes will be a bonus!
P.S. Look into actresses and models from the 90s. Yes, they were rail thin, but they also didn't have the popular figure of today - a lot of them had flat butts and little waist definition. Take a look at Lindsay Lohan too in Just My Luck. No booth to speak of but gorgeous! Don't let today's trend tell you that you can't be beautiful, and celebrate your 100 lb accomplishment and look forward to the next!
Just wanna say I could have wrote this and I’m a dude. Even down to the numbers. I understand you. I’m sorry.
You went from severely obese to the healthy weight category. I’m proud.
I feel and look the exact same way, but I’m 5”3 and 180 pounds. I have lost a lot (not 100 lbs like you) but I still look and feel terrible. Only people who have noticed are my mom and my partner. The top half of my body disgust me so badly but I’m going to save up to get Lipo or something bc I genuinely can’t stand it
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1mo
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Remember to always consider the individual when offering advice.
What’s wrong with line backers? No really quit being so hard on yourself damn you have lost 100 lbs. get out and have fun!
100 lbs. is a huge accomplishment, and I'm sure you're much healthier. It sounds like you don't like the way your weight is distributed, and you can't really help that. I lost 50 lbs. and I'm happy with everything but my waist - I would wear pants 2 sizes smaller if my waist were more proportionate. Few people have perfect bodies and are completely happy with the way they look. I've always felt my weight was out of my control too - I was always either losing or gaining - but keeping my calories at the same amount every day has solved that problem.
A non-image related health goal might help you feel a bit better. I recommend the couch to 5k- it’s a realistic and worthwhile goal that won’t take forever to reach and feels amazing to complete.
Self stigmatisation is the worst way to do this, if u believe that u can do this then u can do this. It may be hard but if u do this I guarantee u will feel better. If it’s to do with ur internal body go to the doctor for prescribed meds. It could also be with your exercise routine/diet. Make a plan on like Google docs about what exercise u are going to do on what day and what u are going to eat on what day. Don’t make exercise a chore. It should be fun, u should want to do it. It will take a long time, people work at different time scales, if u break ur routine. Don’t stop, it’s just one time. If a ship accidentally drops one bit of food into the water does it stop, NO it carries on. Dont look at how far away the peak is, look at how far u have come up the mountian. 100lbs is a lot.
Have you looked into Berberine or Inositol? I’ve been looking into these supplements for myself as a woman with PCOS and Berberine is said to be good for fat burning and redistribution (for some people). I also have broad shoulders and weird fat distribution. I’m much larger and at the start of my weight loss journey though.
I get it. I've lost 75 pounds over the last year, thru counting calories and exercise. I have at least another 75 to go before I'm considered to be at a normal weight. Even though I exercise, my body looks like a melted candle. The other problem is that I have a genetic condition called lipedema, which is an abnormal fat buildup on the lower half of my body. So even though I'm losing weight, I will never 'look' normal. There's nothing I can do about it, so I've learned to accept it and keep going.
Get Lipo and body sculpting in those areas. If you can’t afford it, get loans or try to save up money for it. You will get a better shape after that and fat accumulation will begin to concentrate more on your tits and ass.
You should try OMAD
That’s actually how I lost the 100lbs, I recommend it to anyone who will listen!!! The only way I’ve been able to lose weight personally
Sometimes the place that you really want to lose the weight the most is the last place that it goes. I also lost over 100lbs at 5'9 getting down to 154 (I'm a male) and still saw problem areas. Weight lifting and a few bulk/cut cycles really helped with a body recomp and now I'm comfortable being 180ish. Maybe you should take a break and stick to maintenence calories for a while then start cutting down again and see if that helps your outlook. Don't throw away your progress because the health benefits alone are worth every ounce of work you already put in.
I don't want to diagnose you via the internet and without any knowledge as i am not an expert. What i can do though is share an experience. A friend of mine had the same struggles you've pointed out in your post and the comments. She ended up going to a doctor and with a diagnosis for lipedema. I'm not saying that you have it but i am suggesting you see a specialist to check if you possibly have a fat or water distribution disorders - maybe it stems from the stress and pressure you're under. A specialist could also find a solution why you're losing weight but are - according to your comments - only 2 pant sizes down.
You have accomplished a lot and you can be very proud of yourself. I am very sorry your journey is not bringing you the joy you've hoped for.Please, reading all your comments about how stressed you are - it does not sound healthy. So PLEASE, take off some of the pressure you put on yourself. You have lost a tremendous amount of weight and that is amazing.
Watch DR berrys videos on the carnivore diet.
You might want to look into intermittent fasting. It's easier than the calorie counting all day long. If you've got bulk in your upper half, it could be your thyroid.
I was one of those who couldn't lose weight. I went on the Infinite30 "lifestyle change" and found that I couldn't have dairy and several of my favorite meats and veggies. Squash, corn, Cod fish, and all milk products would all make me gain 6lbs every single time I tried it. I'm not allergic to any of it, but they are inflammatory. After I got off of the diet, I found that I could eat pretty much anything I wanted as long as I didn't eat a "trigger food." If I eat trigger foods I put weight back on fast. When I stop the weight falls off. It's crazy!
This is a bit of a side element from your main point, but I just want to check... have you been thoroughly screened by a doctor (preferably endocrinologist) for the following conditions that can make weight loss very difficult?
Insulin resistance (incredibly common, incredibly underdiagnosed until it has progressed to prediabetes or diabetes. Any problems with androgenic symptoms or irregular periods? If you have any suspicion of this, including other symptoms such as: unusual hunger/fatigue/food cravings; reactive hypoglycemia (can feel like a panic attack with anxiety, high heart rate, weakness, faintness, tremor, etc.); frequent urination; brain fog; frequent infections such as yeast infections; intermittent blurry vision; mood swings; headaches; disrupted sleep (if hypo episodes occur at night); darker skin patches or skin tags... then I can give you info on how to get correctly tested.
Cortisol/adrenal disorders like Cushing's syndrome (your description of your body shape and particularly back fat and neck fat are very typical, along with thin arms and legs and round puffy face).
High prolactin.
Thyroid disorder.
first off, you did amazing!! 100lbs is no small feat, and even if you’re not physically at the point you’d like to be, you clearly have the determination and discipline to get you all the way to where you want to be. if you don’t mind me asking OP, what’s your routine like? i ask this because for the longest time, i would follow all the fitness advice, i’d eat 1200 calories a day, do cardio and the gym, and while i did lose a lot of weight, i just felt… flabby. there were weird deposits of fat on my body, my shoulders were still large, my stomach would always have that little pooch. surprisingly enough when i went to bootcamp, was eating 3 solid “healthy” meals a day (i put quotes because i honestly don’t even know what was in that junk), i was doing HIIT essentially every other hour, and hiking, by the time graduation rolled around and i finally got to look in a mirror after sneaking off into the dentist’s bathroom, i realized i was super toned. i somehow shed all of that extra fat while gaining like 20 lbs of muscle at the same time. what i’m trying to say is this: everyone’s body reacts differently to different workouts. and everyone’s body reacts differently to calorie deficits as well. some people hold on to that excess weight and fat simply because they’re starving, or long fits of cardio isn’t what they’re built for. and you have to appreciate what your body CAN do for you. some people are just structurally bigger, and some people are built more slender. i would run 10km a day and see no change in my physique but a shorter faster paced run yielded more for me. i was NOT good at running long distance AT ALL, because i’m stocky. but i can swim pretty well, and lift more than most women because of just how i’m built and how i distribute weight. don’t knock yourself down because of that. i agree with the other users saying that you should maybe talk to a professional both medically and mentally. the first step to actually enjoying the fitness journey is to sort of process through that trauma you associate with your self image. accepting what you can’t change yourself is both humbling and empowering, and if there’s something your doctor can recommend to help ease your mind medically, i’d say go for it. i’d also recommend staying off the scale too. it’s clearly not good for your mental health. some people look better when they don’t weigh what society deems a “low weight”. i stopped weighing myself years ago because even at 5’7 130 lbs i still felt i didn’t look good at all. i just focused on how my body reacted instead. i embrace those wide shoulders, and now push days are the gym days i look forward too. if you can’t get slimmer OP, highlight what’s strong about you. there’s nothing wrong with you and i guarantee everyone else is so worried about how THEY look that they don’t notice what you hate about yourself AT ALL.
Your have done great!
Here is what you need to do. This is coming from someone who has cut and gained weight many times for muscle and competitive looks.
Take a break. Most people try to lose it all at once. Take a break learn what your new maitnance calories are. Eventually your body hunger levels will adjust to your new weight. After you have maintained for about 6 months then look at where you are and ask yourself if you want to get back on the weight loss and only do 15 lbs at a time from now on because the hunger and cravings get worse the leaner you get. The last 5 pounds to be shredded will be harder than the first 100 lbs of weight loss.
You have killed it! Certainly done more then most I used to be very over weight as well. You can do it just remember maitnance needs to be apart of your weight loss journey as well. Or you will burn out and never learn how to keep what you worked so hard to get.
If I were you, I would see an endocrinologist. Maybe you have already.
Gurl 160 looks good on your height
I went from 198 to 175 and i fit in medium to xl still. I need to tone. I know extra skin is frustrating but 100 pounds is awesome. And u should be proud!!
I think your being way too hard on yourself pleaze don't give up .I have eating disorder and meal at night too late 9 30 pm .please be kind to yourself you're doing the best you can
Have you talked to a doctor? Carrying weight in the neck and back is often caused by real hormone problems.
I’ve seen a lot of good comments here, so I hope I’m adding another. In addition to getting excess skin removed, you can work with a trainer to tone your body. You’re never changing your shape but it sounded like your weight lifting hasn’t achieved what you’d hoped. Also, consider training for a long distance event like a marathon or a 100 mile bike ride. The process itself is motivating and gets you out there for your workouts! (I don’t run so I walk halfs.). Working out is usually good for mental health too. ❤️
Who knows what size is right for clothes!? I think I last wore a medium at maybe 140. I’m 5’6” with broad shoulders and larger boobs.
You’re amazing for that amount of weight loss! I know it’s frustrating when you don’t feel like you thought you would (I’m there too!) but you most definitely are NOT the fat girl! Is it possible you have loose skin that is partially making you feel this way? That could be why your pants size hasn’t changed as much as you expected. I’m sorry you’re not feeling good about yourself but I’m proud of you!
I’m 5’8”, 159 lbs down from 175. I am not skinny but definitely don’t look fat. I still want to lose but am happy my old clothes fit. I’m very curious why you’re experiencing this. How is your muscle tone? I walk 4+ mi/day.
You never really reached a high enough weight nor lost enough from that weight to experience the sag, lucky and smart.
Oh got it. 🥹
I think the main issue seems to be that you did not lose the weight through sustainable habits. What kind of restriction are we talking about here? Is it just calorie restriction or did you actually form healthy/balanced eating habits? I know many people are obsessed with CICO and I was too but it can be very dangerous. And as for exercise, do you actually enjoy it? Do you feel better after exercising? Health wise, did you get a blood test done recently? Is everything in order? Are you getting enough sleep? I know personally that weight loss can be stressful and that’s why I stopped when I lost 40 lbs in the past. It felt simply impossible to continue. I was already eating 1200 calories and counting calories, but I wasn’t losing weight so I felt like I was constantly battling with something and not winning anymore. For me the things I was doing to lose the weight were too much and unrealistic. I also realized that it shouldn’t be THAT stressful. That’s why I have started again but this time with a therapist and nutritionist. I feel much better two months in and I feel like I can do this forever.
I had that feeling too, at 2 months in. Then it got tough. Then it comes back, and you keep going. You get to 50 lbs lost, you feel amazing, you tell yourself “oh don’t you notice it’s easier going up the stairs today!” And then it takes you a year to lose any more weight and suddenly you’re back to feeling like this is unsustainable. I have been off and on this horse with legitimate effort since 2019. I have never worked harder and gotten less out of anything in my life so far. Months, months without progress, just a tug of war back and forth over 160.
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I have very recognizable tattoos that even blocking the placement of could give me away or else I would
Your health is more important than anything. Being strong & healthy should be your first priority. Try to stop fixating on the weight and imperfections and take pride in all your body accomplishes every day keeping you alive. Loosing 100 lbs is no small feat and I’m sure your lab work, blood pressure, and overall health have improved significantly. These are gains and you’re on track to make sustainable changes. Don’t give up, just reset your goals to focusing on your health as your first priority. You’re doing so much better than you think. ❤️
I’m going to say this as gently as possible.
I think you should talk to someone. There seems to be a lot of negative self talk going on and maybe skewed perception. At 5’8 and 160 you are not the fat girl and I get the impression you have an ‘ideal’ in your mind set by something external that is not you.
You have completed a MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT. You lost over 100 pounds! That’s AMAZING. YOU ARE AMAZING. Think of the health benefits from that. Think of how much hard work YOU did. Think about what your body and mind are capable of!
Set NON IMAGE related goals. Run a 5k, hit a specific weight in your lifts, accomplish the splits or a cartwheel or back flip, swim a specific distance. Not everything is about how you THINK you look or even how you do.
Forget other people’s opinions, get out of your head, and focus on your accomplishments and being the best version of you!
YOU ARE AMAZING!