I told a department head not to shout and it didn’t go well

Next time, act nicely to his face, but backstab him when the opportunity arises. Never attack directly.

No, you drew a reasonable boundary. Knowing my personal tendencies, you handled it a lot better than I would’ve.

Sounds to me like you're sitting in the catbird seat. They can't fire you because it's a government job and they can't replace you because nobody else wants the position.

So there's no reason not to stick to your guns and insist that Doctor McShouty speak you in a civil tone. Tell your direct manager that it's not in your job description to allow someone to shout at you.

So he wanted you to bump another already scheduled patient for his friend? That's very unethical.

So I told him I can no longer be in the position, it doesn’t come with any other benefits, I’m not getting paid for the extra responsibilities…

It sounds like you already resigned. So the shouter's friend will not be getting his appointment, and neither will many other people. Your job prospects may not be great for leaving during an employee dispute, but also your office is up the creek unless they figure a way to keep this clown out of your face.

Stand your ground on denying the appt., but wait a few days to see if your boss makes a better offer for you. If you feel you need to leave, it's okay - your choices are your own. You can try to sue them for a hostile work environment, I guess.

Since they can't fire you and apparently shouting is allowed, start shouting at this person. Let's see if they like the taste of their own medicine.

(This is half a joke, obviously).

Tell him "don't write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ass!"

No, don't tell him that. Just kill him with kindness. Only state things in a neutral or positive way. "The first open appointment is July 27." Instead of "I can't do that, we don't have any open appointments until July 27." Tell him what you can do and keep restating it.

If someone starts raising their voice, I immediately pretend they aren’t there. I stay super calm and eventually they storm off in a huff or get louder and wave their hand in my face or something to get my attention. I feign shock and say something like, oh you’re yelling at me??? What on earth for?? They usually look embarrassed.

"No problem. Your friend can have an appointment" Make it for when someone is not there. Dr. James - on the 15th at 4pm. (Dr James is on vacation).

Later: "Oh, no sir, It looked open but because you yelled at me I got flustered and I forgot to check the vacation schedule."

"So sorry"

Twice in a row? Mea culpa!

Who the hell has someone else make their appointments? And who the hell does that for someone?

Hostile work environment lawsuit?

i'd check him right then and there for being in his personally feelings and am not going to tolerate that shiet. It's not like you didn't want to help him! don't put up with garbage attitudes like his. He needs to watch who he is talking to respectfully.

Never tolerate insolence. It doesnt matter who it's from. That Karen was throwing an adult temper tantrum because they didn't get their way. Raise the bad behavior above all those managers, since they clearly are incapable of addressing rude and toxic behavior.

Make sure to keep records of all interactions. Preferably electronically.

No way, you should not just let anyone yell at you. They need to deal with your boundaries and maybe get a lil anger management/ communication training. HR is the one for this not dept heads.

Did I do anything wrong by telling him not to shout? What’s the best I can do now?

You did absolutely nothing wrong. And, if warranted, you should do it again.

So I told him I can no longer be in the position, it doesn’t come with any other benefits, I’m not getting paid for the extra responsibilities…
...
He told me that he asked all other departments, no one said any negative thing about me, so it’s not up to me to quit the position even if I want to!!!

That's nonsense. Tell him that if that individual raises his voice at you ever again, you will tell him exactly what you told him before, so they either ensure that he does no such thing, or they take you from that specific position.

Stand firm. You have more leverage than most people ever have in such a scenario as this, and you should use every bit of it.

Early in my career, I had two incidents, at different employers, where people had a tendency to raise their voices at people. In one instance, the person was not quite yelling, but ranting about a decision that someone else made, but that I was executing. I waited until he finished, and told him that I wasn't the one that made the decisions, and so he was aiming his guns in the wrong direction. Then I left his office. He called me back in about 15 min and apologized to me for how he had behaved. We never had a problem again.

In the other instance, a department head used to like to yell at people from inside her office -- with the door open. One day she tried this with me, and I went and closed the door. "Why are you closing my door? "Because this conversation doesn't involve anyone else." She looked stunned, and conducted the rest of what she wanted to say at a more normal tone. (I did have to remind her that I was standing right there and could hear her just fine.) She never liked me, but she also never tried that stupidity again.

Set your boundaries. The most people can ever do is fire you, and usually, they won't because it is the power they want, and firing you gets rid of the power dynamic too soon. In your case, you even have a buffer against that.

Let your manager know they they can either support you up front, or have to run interference on account of their continued cowardice. Their choice.

Did you say it with your chest?

you did nothing wrong. no self respecting adult is going to let another adult shout at them lmao bye asf.

It’s not wise to give ultimatums.

I have had luck in a similar situation to ask when is your friend available, can the person who needs to see the patient available at a flexible time & have you checked in with him or her about this? I wouldn’t have this conversation in an open area either. This causes speculation & gossip.

I don’t think you were wrong to ask him to lower his voice but how you did it makes me think you could work on your delivery. ☮️

Ultimatums should be avoided, especially if they’re above you in the food chain. If you’re prepared to follow through and resign if they are not met then maybe, but it’s still best not to push someone’s hand.

Next time, slap him in the face

Your manager found no negativity from other employees but YOU still have to take crap from the department head. I saw suggestions of hostile work environment lawsuit, (jokingly) shouting back, and kill with kindness.

I would tell your manager that you will not tolerate shouting from the head and would like to have some support in this matter. If nothing changes, either contact HR or the COO with a detailed timeline of events.

Smile and nod. Let him make a fool of himself.

Don't do anything different.

It's not up to you to quit????? What in hell? This isn't communism. You can absolutely leave if you want to.

I told my male supervisor to never shout at me. He did it once--and only once. It was a union job in higher education, and he was a department director. He said "sorry" and never pulled that crap again. Set boundaries immediately!

Everything you did was unwise from the perspective of keeping your job and having a decent working experience. Does it suck when people are rude? Yes. Is it good to do favors for people that are above you? Yes. Is it wise to tell someone higher than you to ‘not shout’ when they are only raising their voice a little (your words)? Nope. And then the way you handled the situation after was just plain stupid. I’d start looking for a new job. They’ll make your life miserable to get you to leave.

Don’t order people in higher positions than you around. Ask them politely and with less confrontational language.