My mom turned down being paid back $8,000 four years later she wants it now.

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Tell her you aren’t in a place where you can do it now and won’t be for a while due to your medical bills and she should have taken it when you originally gave it. Now she will need to wait.

Do it pay it back though when you can. It obviously was a loan, not a gift, even if she was being weird about how to be repaid.

You're not a bank that stores money until your mom is ready to accept it. It's OK that you had the money before but you don't have it now. If your mom wanted to be paid back at a specific time, in a specific way she should have discussed it with you when she made you the loan. She can't just demand repayment in full any time without advance warning. This is a business arrangement, not something to hold over you.

It was originally understood to be a loan, so you do need to work on paying it back. Tell her that once you get back to work you'll start making payments. Figure out a minimum payment amount you can definitely afford to psy her every month. Tell her you'll pay her at least that until it's psid off, and if you're able to pay extra, you will.

Keep a log showing dates, payment amounts, and method of payment so you can keep track of how much you still owe her.

If she insists she only wants to be paid in full, that's too bad for her. She doesn't have an extra $8000, she shouldn't be surprised that you don't either.

I suggest you don't borrow money from her in the future.

Especially with complicated people, family or otherwise, it's best to have the terms of these arrangements in writing.

Here's my take... you have a debt of $8000 to your mom that you never repaid. You need a plan to repay it.

Now, if you don't have the money now, and you're living in another country, and you don't have a written agreement on how and when that would be paid back, your mom probably won't go after you to get it, so if she wants the condo right away, in a practical sense, she's going to have to figure that out herself.

What I would suggest you do is if you offered a monthly payment -- either do that by bank transfer or cheque depending on your country, or transfer it monthly into a savings account until it's all saved up and then pay your mom back.

A lack of planning or written agreement on your mom's part does not make an emergency on your part, but you do need a plan to get this debt off your own books, for your own financial & emotional health!

And sorry to hear about the burn. I hope you are healing well. Health is #1 so I hope that you are on a better track and able to get back to work and a good life.

Four YEARS??? Yikes, mom. Yikes.

Pay her back when and IF you can, on your own terms.

You said that you "borrowed" the money meaning that you intended to pay it back. All the other things you mentioned (multiple homes, brother living for free, your terrible relationship and multiple stocks) have no real bearing on that now especially if you didn't care about it when you asked for the money.

You can pay her back the good old fashioned way by sending her checks.

The loan was for you to be close to her. Seems to me you should have paid it back when selling the house. You're not wrong for wanting to keep the money but you would be wrong if you didn't pay it back. You can do it in small installments

I offered to pay monthly but I don't know how to do it when she tech challenged.

Mail her checks

Ask if you can pay her back over time. A little here and a little there.

Next time get everything in writing with a signature. Come up with a mutual agreement contract between you and your mother stating when you will pay it back. The money owed is still going back to your mom as you took out a loan with her.

It doesn't matter if she is family or not, it will be best to pay it back even though she didn't want it then. Look at it like a trust fund (you have to wait to get it, but you're still owed the money).

It is only right to pay her back as she loaned you money when you were in need.

Op. You can get her routing and account number to deposit the funds in her checking account, wire transfer, electronic transfer, deposit via atm, or if all else fails, set up a new bank account listing her as a beneficiary (no account authority) in the event you pass before her.

Sounds like a you and her problem

I wouldn’t pay her back. You offered, she said no. 

Yes, I think you're wrong not to pay back what was clearly a loan. You don't have to repay it all at once (unless you originally agreed to do so) but you should be working to pay it off.

Yes, it sounds like you're letting your negative opinions of your mother (and maybe some selfishness) cloud your judgement. You list a bunch of excuses - your relationship is bad, its technologically hard to send money, she should have asked earlier, she doesn't need or deserve it as she has other properties, etc. - but ultimately you just don't want to repay your loan. If that's your decision then that's between you and your mom.

It sounds to me like you do owe her the money but you both made the mistake of not setting specific terms on how and when it would be repaid. You don’t magically not owe her just because she was really lenient on the repayment timeline. I suggest setting up a payment plan or saving up and paying her back on a certain schedule or by a certain date. Whether or not she has more than you or you have other debts has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not you owe her. When you do repay, be sure to save proof.

This has to be fake. Nobody who loans 8 grand is this weird about getting it back.