Is it just me?or it was just coincidence?

Ask INFJs

Hello, fellow INFJs.

I have been using an app that shows your MBTI. I noticed that the people that I match with that are INFPs are usually too emotional and very clingy. Have you had any experiences with INFPs? It’s usually the same thing for example when I don’t reply for a day or two since I am doing other things, the INFP guy would usually say stuff like “too busy?” “Why aren’t you messaging?” “Infj doorslam?” Those type of messages. I get lots of messages too so I cannot reply to them asap. It takes time for me to reply. I was going to reply by tomorrow when I have a more free time but I was shookt to see my notifs about those type of messages and they are usually coming from INFPs. :(

The INTJs and INTPs I match with are more pleasant to converse with because they do not flood my inbox with dramatic messages. One of the INTJs I matched with took me 2 months to reply to and I apologized and told why my response was late ( his message was from the older messages and I didn’t really check my app that much more last 2 months because I was focusing studying. Though I put on my bio that “my replies might be late so I apologize” ) He just replied, “Hello. No worries. We all have responsibilities and things we have to prioritize first and I understand. How are you?” This INTJ and I still talk now.

in infjby Tofuprincess89

87%

15d

14d

View all comments

sumerigusa

15d

I’m not a fan of Fi personally…

get_while_true

15d

You should be. Fi is next-level for INFJ that wants to level-up.

sumerigusa

15d

We have distant access to Fi as our 6th function and do use Fi. We aren’t Fi polr. To me, Ti has helped me develop as a person more than Fi.

get_while_true

15d

It's actually about balancing Fe and Fi constructively, because then you don't over-extend into one while lagged in the other, or in unhealthy ways. Here's an article that explains a bit around practical steps:

https://www.nerdycreator.com/blog/infj-emotions/

Process Fe consciously:

Find ways you can express your emotions privately. To express your emotions fully, you need a private space.
Surround yourself with understanding and caring people. INFJs need friends that have a strong Fe preference.
Don’t take in more than you can express. Withdraw yourself from emotional triggers.

Process Fi consciously:

Understand your own emotions. What am I feeling right now?
Take note of what you like and what you don’t like. Be as specific as possible.
Learn how to soothe and let go of your emotions. Letting go has the same effect of expression.

sumerigusa

15d

Ti balances Fe, Fi doesn’t balance Fe.

get_while_true

15d

So when Fe is repressed, Ni-Ti will be soothing?

I guess it can after a while, but there are other ways that change the entire game structurally. INFJs don't have to fit a given "role" in life.

sumerigusa

15d

Ni doesn’t necessarily soothe my Fe but I prefer to be comforted using Ti.

get_while_true

15d

How does Ti comfort your Fe? What is it saying, or what's the core to this process, in your experience?

sumerigusa

15d

I like having my emotions “cooled down” so to speak, and soothed using logic. It helps me kind of calm down and see how things are connected and “make sense”.

get_while_true

15d

Ah, yes. It can help to formulate using logic and seeing new perspectives about the situation and new possibilities.

However, supposed you encounter a jerk that you can't really avoid interacting with. They can't really be "understood" as what they do, is belittle and marginalize you at any opportunity. Of course also hiding these acts, so that if you talk about this, everyone would look at you like you're crazy. So there's little support available. You can use Ti, but the situation isn't logical, the guy doesn't make sense. Maybe you can find a solution, but it often involves grey rocking or avoidance. Will you allow yourself to be removed from the equation like that, with every bully in life?

False_Lychee_7041

14d

There is a danger in not having well developed Fi. In definite circumstances Ni-Ti under Fe influence can make you concentrate on other's problems/ways of thinking to the point, where you will start loosing your own identity and become an human inner world analysis machine.

It's where we need Fi to help us remember what we like and dislike and what makes us different from other people, what are our non negotiables.

This problem don't occure when a person lives rather quiet/dull/stable life. But when one face a situation where one has to challenge one's own fundamental perceptions or go way out of one's usual ways, it can pretty much happen. And it's very destructive stuff for our psyche, so Fi works as an ancor to help us to find way back

sumerigusa

13d

I agree. but I have a decent relationship with my Fi, and I don’t need to seek it out in other people. It’s reasonably present in me. I can make value based judgements on my own. I’m not Fi blind like EXTPs are

Continue thread...