Edit: thanks for the replies. It was good to vent. I'm over it. He's an adult. It's his own responsibility and time to me to on focus on things (like his twin) who is struggling. When it blows up and it will my parents can deal with it. And our parents are seeing it now too, after an announcement last night. I'm all ranted out, anyone have unrelated good news to share instead
Long story short. Gay 19 year old brother is dating a 50 year old man and I'm the only one (bar my bro) who has any issue with it.
I'm the eldest of 8. I'm a bi man (31) married to a bi man (35) It took my parents a few years to accept my attraction but they managed to get over it.
My youngest brother is gay and luckily for him I came first so his coming out was far cleaner. He's 19 and has his first boyfriend. Our parents had already seen his boyfriend but my husband and I met him for the first time, last Saturday.
I'm not a prude (well maybe a little) but we came in and inside sitting down was a guy in his early 50s. I assumed they had a neighbour over until my bro introduced us. My husband knows him (not sexually).
I've hooked up with older guys. It can be hot but a 19 year old DATING a 50+ year old, I'm sorry like what? In what world is that OK and my parents just nodding along.
I spoke to our parents when the "couple" went out to buy wine for dinner (wine my brother can't even legally drink yet) and they were like they would prefer a younger date but it's his life and they learned from their mistakes with me. I was taken aback. Like sorry not accepting me being bi is not the same thing as not accepting a 30+ year gap where one is just an adult. My father was like cut it out. This is the way it is. If he's happy we support him. Tbh dad just didn't want to picture the relationship, imo.
I went out to my husband and he said ah your brothers safe. He's a nice guy. Stop over-reacting. So I calmed down and they came back we had dinner and played a few games and then i found out my brother is LIVING with him and no one saw an issue with it. I'm sorry but like when did I become the most judgey here.
The minute they left, I said so there's a 19 year old boy, in college, dating a 50+ year old man and living with him and no one sees a problem with it. He's basically a dependent of him and what is that man getting in return? My father said youre disgusting and just so you know he took time out of college. How does that make it better?. My mother said its probably hard, given how we treated you, to see us learn and give him an easier time. I was stunned to silence.
On the car trip home, the husband said it wasn't cool turning your parents against him. Let him be happy and I was like okaaaaaaaay.
And no its not because im jealous of how they treated me differently. Im delighted he didnt face what i got. I spoke to one of my sisters who met them the day after. She said the age gap is a bit weird but that's usual amongst gay men and the man seems to care about him what more do you want.
Honestly someone needs to get me a straight jacket because I think I might be going crazy or maybe I should just go full on MAGA2024 or something (that's a joke) and live amongst the conservatives
Edit: my father did say his only issue is hed rather if he dated a black person, we are black/Latino. I was like that's your problem. He could date a blue guy as long as there wasn't that age gap. My mother told me off for mocking the dead. I wasn't mocking the dead. Honestly.