I just got called ugly AF 🤣💀

Nobody is meaner than an insecure gay man on the apps. Whenever people were assholes on the apps I would go out of my way to be kind to someone-turn that bad juju into good juju

He was an asshole. Good riddance.

It happens. Best not let it get to you. Men are jerks. Keep your head up and live your best life.

Someone called me a "fat ass" on the you-know-what app once. I'm going to not so humble brag and say that this is just not true by any objective measure lol. I have a visible 6-pack in all lighting, and I'm fucking yoked.

It's projection.

Guys a jerk. Bullet dodged.

I can't even count how many times I've tried being respectful in those apps and get trashed regardless. People finding me attractive but suddenly wanna drop racist comments once I’ve let them down... Sometimes it's just best to ghost and move on. People are wild.

Karma coming for him. Rest in that knowledge

Did he have a picture of himself posted? Many of us are like Volkswagens looking for Porsches.

Yeah I have been called ugly when I was 18😭(am 19 now) . Don't worry, keep your chin up. Just forget about it.

If I were to guess, what he was actually communicating here was that he was annoyed that he had to ask for a picture mid-conversation and that it wasn’t sent unprompted.

Say for example that one anonymous profile sends a message to a person with pics who they’ve selected because they thought that person was attractive. This creates kind of an imbalance where the anonymous person has selected someone based on what their type is, whereas the person with pics have not. Most people don’t respond to anonymous profiles in the first place because of this dynamic.

What he said was still cruel and he likely said it with the intention of hurting you, and nothing else, so this isn’t exactly an honest and accurate evaluation of your looks either. Some people are just strange that way.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds ugly another lusts for.

Might have been trying to start an SPH convo or something; humiliation is a pretty common kink. Or he was just a douche.

Asshole.. i would ignore it. Not worth your time to think about people opinions on an app.

What happens to him is what happens to every man (person) that values looks like that. They'll find someone "hot", and either they will cheat on someone "hotter" or vice versa. They will not build a solid foundation of love and by the time they hit 60/70 when their looks have mostly faded, no one will want them anymore.

Had someone call me fatty multiple times and tried to degrade me. I dont know if it was a kin but it started getting bad. I found his socials and sent him a screenshot saying I would out him if I don't get an apology....he apologized

I hope twink death gets to him before GTA 6

Omg the internet is full of assholes. I guarantee you this troll is actually ugly AF. I don't know where this happened, but if you're trying to meet guys online, use actual apps and have your pic on there. Don't feel your way around in the dark.

It's a cliche, but the people who dish out this type of abuse online are usually ones who are miserable themselves. Ironically it tends to hurt less because how they are so obviously trying to cause pain. The real harrowing stuff are the things you hear that you weren't supposed to.

It's just projection and lack of empathy. Most people are average when it comes to beauty. If you have a less attractive/ugly body and/or face just accept it and move on, there is so much worse in life. Just ignore people that are rude or can't say "no thank you" like good mannered adults.

Basically

Man: I don't want you, sry

You: Ok, thx for letting me know

Man: (how dare she not fight for me?!) bYe UgLy

Some men are just immature and childish, do not take this from him personally or as something that's truthful, he's just throwing a temper tantrum that his 'method' didn't work.

Also, when you feel better, it's fucking funny to watch the temper tantrum, they call you all sorts of names, then they apologise and then they do it again (speaking from experience).

Of course, if the messages bug you (and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, you are entitled to your feelings) just block him, it will save you a lot of grief (yet again speaking from experience)

You probably remind him of all the guys who have rejected him lol

Just Trike to imagine at what perception of life a person has in order thubk it's okay to call somebody ugly or even derive joy from it. How full of anger, resentment, hate and envy that person must be. Just be gratefull that you are not him. He wakes up like this every morning and has to bear with himself all day. That's punishment enough.

Honestly, him saying that says more about him than you. He’s obviously a miserable person. Just be glad you dodged that bullet.

It wouldn’t suprise me if the guy is actually uglier than you are. It’s usually the ugly people who are the meanest.

Sounds like you triggered someone who does in fact ghost a lot with your reply and he went on defense HARD. Think about the insecurity one must feel to read your genuine appreciation of honesty as a personal attack. However you look, at the very least you are well adjusted

We’re all beautiful and ugly to somebody 🤣 I’m sure you’re a looker, and if you’re happy with how you look that’s all that matters

Very rude on his part after your dignified response... pay it no mind. I think we are all someone's favorite pie and also someone's least favorite pie... I think it's mostly all meaningless.

You are worthy of being loved. What's ugly to one jerk is hot to a nice man who is looking for exactly what you have to offer. Sending positivity, it's ok to be hurt by someone disrespecting you. You are loved here.

Wow. Appalling. That was so mean and especially after he already turned you down.

The good thing is you didn't have to find out what an asshole he is after dating him...

Karma needs to get to work!

thats so uncalled for. Rejection hurts. But to be called ugly is like being stabbed to the stomach. Some people are just cruel and have no social etiquette, and that makes them the real ugly one here.

Nah if he says that he's effectively telling you not to feel bad that he's not interested LOL - imagine waking up next to him and he calls you hideous for having a bed head and dirt under your eyelids

There are assholes everywhere. I get not being attracted and I get that someone may be ugly to you, but why would you tell them? Answer: to be as big if an asshole as he can be.

Shake it off, laugh, and move on.

He's probably super insecure about himself

Guys get sexually frustrated on these apps and wanna take it out on other people, they think putting others down will make them feel better. You just happened to be there, it sucks, ive been there too and i feel for you. I wish people werent so superficial and body-obsessed

Damn —- that’s harsh. I was objectively ugly at various points in time and no one actually said it to me. I’d wager it’s just the person being mean.

Yes please let it go. Bright side: At least you weren’t lied to and taken advantage of. If you wanna feel a lot better about yourself, read my “Not sure what to do” you will feel loads better

I once went on a date with this dark-haired, dark-eyed twink that was totally my type in the looks department, and I thought was very cute. Took him to a nice restaurant on the water. He claimed it was a bit much for a first date and ghosted me after that.

Fast forward at least 10 years later, I was at a friend’s gathering at their home and there was this chain-smoking, chubby and balding queen across from me that I wasn’t judging (wait for it), but also didn’t really pay that much attention to. After I left, he was hitting me up on Grindr and claiming to know me and wanted to “hang out.” I did not recognize him at all until he sent me an old pic of himself. I’m sure you’ve figured out by now it was the same guy. I immediately blocked him. Lol.

Morale of the story is, the ones that turn you down today are the ones you’ll be thankful didn’t work out later in life. Don’t let it get you down. Your Prince Charming just isn’t 100% ready for you yet (or you’re not ready for him), but you deserve better than some superficial and pretentious asshole in the meantime. You’re 19. Be patient, don’t take it too seriously, and have some fun.

Could you imagine how exhausting it would be if you were EVERYONES type 🥱 life would get boring fast tbh

Hurt people hurt others. Ignore it and move on. I have had people say I should be decomposing underground because of my age. The meanness says more about them then you.

My suggestion: make this your last time to ever be upset over a stranger on a gay dating app that speaks to you in a disrespectful manner. Dating apps are messy af.

Haha it happens and don’t take those morons seriously. I am 5 11 250 all muscle with 8 pack abs and I was called fat by one idiot on Grindr after seeing my pic. I realized it later that he was actually fat and insecure that’s why he called me fat realizing he may not have any chance with me. Sometimes then just do it to make themselves feel better. But I do have one question though, when someone says sorry not interested why would you try to be nice n say it was fine and thanks for being honest blah blah. Just let it go! Why do you have to please someone that’s not interested in you?

The irony is this moron can't even see he is the only ugly (vile?) person in this story. OP, I hope you're not giving this poor excuse for a human being another thought. I wonder what his pretend nice face looks like.

I got a 🤮 once after being asked to send a pic

Lmao I'm gonna die a single wizard

We want screenshots, show us the receipts!

Omg I’m sorry but at least the story you got out of it is hilarious lol ciao ugly ! 🤣🤣

It’s a sad thing to be devoid of feelings and empty inside. You should pity him but you’re not required to. Honestly he could just be some teenage troll who thinks it’s funny to rip people

When I open my mouth and speak I tell you who I am. When he opened his mouth and spoke he told you who he is. Bullet dodging 101.

Oh he probably just caught a glimpse of his own reflection off his blank profile and sent you a flurry of verbal diarrhea.

Sounds like this dude gets off on the feeling of rejecting people and getting them upset.  When you were polite in your response, he didn't get the feeling of hurting you.  So he used a backup plan and insulted you directly.  

 All this is to say that his behavior wasn't about you. He was selfishly trying to gain something from it and was using you to get it.  

 Good job staying composed. 

This guy is a person that needs therapy. Needing to hurt someone else to gain joy is not a natural state of mind. It comes about from trauma. He needs to talk about it with someone to ever hope to get better. 

What an asshole! It’s funny in that it is ridiculous for someone to behave that way, but do take care of yourself!

I wouldn’t take it personal since it’s pretty obvious he is someone suffering from low self-confidence to lash out in that way or someone just looking to harm others. You are already a better person for not having the time spread hate :)

Yup I receive this regularly when I let other guys know I’m not interested in them or if just don’t respond to them.

Had a completely blank profile sending me messages to meet them over a couple of days. I kept ignoring them. Then they started sending abusive messages about my weight (there’s nothing wrong with it) and about my ‘boobs’ I don’t have any.

Awww, I'm sorry to hear. Something similar happened to me the other day... his response was "Shitttttt" and blocked me. I thought something bad happened and then was like, oh that was his response to seeing my face 🤦‍♂️.

I got called a short fat white dude on Grindr the other day. It hurt a lot, and then I realized I wasn’t the problem in that situation.

See baby that’s why I suggest you have a pic up so you don’t have to face rejection after sending a pic

In my head I would prefer to think that it is like the Boulet Brothers that call their fans uglies.

Handy tip for you moving forward and developing some resilience for the future: Don’t give any weighting, care or any of your emotional self worth into the reception of your Grindr pictures from total strangers. They are just trying to get a rise out of you. Even celebrities and super models get called ugly and fat multiple times a day. Their criticism has nothing to do with your appearance and everything to do with who they are as a person. Better living 🌈

I'm a very slim person, once this guy just messaged me out of nowhere and called me a weirdo for being so skinny. Honestly it ruined my day.

I would have read him to filth!

You dodged a bullet, actually. That guy is an asshole

I’d feel shocked at first and then hopefully you’d feel thankful you didn’t get anywhere with that little idiot. Yuck.

Have you considered it's someone you rejected before or didn't respond to and they're just bitter as fuck. Or you have some rules on your profile that discount them or raise their hostility.

That's a possibility. Especially if they're on an anonymous profile.

Some people are assholes when under the veil of the internet. Everyone has had to deal with assholes. Just don't take it personally and move on from it

Yeah the guy was a jerk. He was ever so much in his right to say we are not a match sorry man But he went out of his way just to be cruel to you. He's the one that's really ugly. Don't let it get you down too much Grindr or any of these apps are completely fucking cruel. It's so sad that all you young guys have given up real life meetups, hookups for sex or going to the bar or just meeting one-on-one to get to know each other. So now you have all this bullshit online, blank profiles, everybody's hiding everybody's taking part shots at one another and you never even know who's genuine and who's at the other end. Everybody's got to get off the goddamn sofa and go out and meet people one-on-one real again to put it into this bullshit.. Hope it works out for you but don't let this asshole get to you

Jealousy is a thing and yes it happened and happens

Sometimes you don't have to make sense of the insecurities of other people. Does sound like you dodged a bullet with an ugly person.

I find the stranger the face the bigger the cock iono y

i work out a lot and had people writing me i dont look muscular (as if anyone asked them to judge this). i am constantly estimated by others to be younger than i actually am and still someone writes me unprompted that i surely fake my age bc i look so much older than it says in the profile.

"dont take criticism from people you wouldnt take advice from"

When I was 19 I told a guy on the apps I wasn't interested in hooking up and was only looking for dates and he told me "people will f*ck ugly but they're not gonna date ugly". Stuck with me to this day. Some ppl are just jerks

I've been called "your so skinny" and other degrading blunt remarks from a guy I really liked. I know the feeling. Don't let it affect you.

Oh yeah I feel sorry for him. That kind of hate rots your insides

Imagine being so insecure you feel the need to try to make other people feel bad about themselves. This is what children do.

Don’t think about it, it’s his problem not yours. And just block him if he keeps messaging you.

I had one guy on Grindr hit me up looking to play. I told him that he wasn’t interested at the moment. He replied with “well, what I come over just to give you a blowjob?”

I said no thank you.

He replied back, “Well, you’re ugly anyways!” And blocked me lol

At least this was not a guy you got invested in or anything. Better to be rid of a jerk like that sooner than months later. But I’m sorry he was so rude

I consider myself in the upper 10% of attractive guys (reinforced by many factors). I once had a guy text me „good luck because you need it“ because i said its a bit sus that he has two profiles.

Some men are just salty and try to use words to try to get to you with the sole intention of causing (emotional) harm, i guess.

Beauty is kindness, sweetness, humor, generosity, confidence, so so so many things.

I am so sorry.

Fuck that dude. He lost out

Amazing how he just had to get those words in just give himself a 15 second erection

He was most likely a very insecure, borderline self-loathing, ugly fuck himself. You dodged a bullet, my friend.

Why are there people like that? Life is fucked up enough without being so nasty to other people.

It’s not about you, it’s about them. 

Either they have very low self esteem or they’re hurting other people for kicks.  Either way we have no responsibility for what other people think. 

 there’s a gift in every moment, this one reminds us to have  empathy for poor damaged people who can only get their kicks from trying to hurt others. They must be pretty bitter and twisted. 

I seriously doubt you're ugly. He sounds insecure. Gay dating apps are cancerous, so never take anything you see on there seriously

You’ve gotta love when the trash takes itself out.

I feel you. I used to get responses like that where it was so unwarranted and out of left field you can help be offended and amused. But also, right to jail with him

1. Nobody who is wholeheartedly happy with himself uses hate in any form. Truly happy people will respond lovingly even if they don’t find you good looking or you don’t meet their standards.

2. Yes, there is a totem pole of what is considered physically attractive in the world. It would be a generally accepted mainstream definition but not a personal definition. An analogy would be if a movie wins the Oscars but you personally don’t like it and think it’s “ugly AF”. It doesn’t make the movie bad essentially. Or, a movie is considered “ugly AF” with 10% rotten tomatoes rating but it is in your list of all time best movies ever made. When someone says you’re ugly, it means you’re not attractive to them. Accept this as their viewpoint. Make sure you don’t take that viewpoint and apply it as a label to you. You may be that for someone. It is their viewpoint, leave it with them and wish them the best.

3. This world provides so many attributes to judge someone by. At the same time, it also affords each person the independence on how they prioritize and respond to those attributes.

4. The sad ones respond with hatred (pretty much in how they respond to themselves) when they think you don’t measure up to that attribute.

5. The decent ones respond in a loving way if those attributes don’t meet their level.

6. The wisest of the lot don’t have a priority of attributes that are important to them, but rather look to what is beautiful and lovable in another person and choose to use that to build connections. They ignore the rest.

Yeah, “you’re not my type” should have been enough. “Ugly” is so subjective.

Years ago, I was at a cruising spot. Witness a guy who was only cruising the black guys. As soon as he saw me, he started to head for me. I started to walk around and thought I had lost him. I stopped. He literally took up a position one foot away and started staring. I made eye contact and said, "No, thanks." The response, " FUCK you. You're a fat, ugly cow anyway." Lol. The same asshole still cruised me on the street of the gaybourhood more than once.

Been there, done that. I have been called that a lot. I have uneven teeth due to cleft palate surgery and psoriasis skin lesions so makes me look different which “community” condemns a lot.

I’m not saying all gay guys are like that but most do believe in good looks and will only look for superficial beauty. I’m average, single and given up.

People who call others ugly to their face are the true ugly ones, no matter how they look.

I would never call someone ugly. I don't even consider anyone ugly privately. They can't control how they look, and someone out there thinks they're a 10/10.

Sounds like the kind of toxic crap that randos send on all these type of apps. I wouldn’t take it personally. It was probably some scam artist from out of country anyway trying to get you to invest in crypto.

Ugh. Trash that learned how to type. Ignore and face forward💪👍👍👍

I've never been called straight up ugly. I've definitely heard my fair share of "no fats" which is also hurtful but damn that's rough. Fuck that guy I hope he gets a herpes flare up.

I have never heard of anyone doing such a thing. I am blown away. I do not get why it is so difficult for some people to just be kind. How tough is it to have respect for another human.

As others have told you, you dodged a mess. Good luck, keep going. This may not mean much since it is on an app and we have not let, but I think you are near perfect. You shared something that went right into your heart. Thank you for trusting us, my friend.

So he was nice and mature the first time and then after responding to you he did that? Lol WTF jerk

Remember, people in apps feel completely at ease being fuckers.

Dude. You should have sent him a pic of your arsehole after a fresh poop with caption … “if you think that’s ugly, check this, you fuckin Bromo-Queen”

This has happened to me before, it says nothing about you and everything about them. I remember one guy told me I must have a healthy self image to even be able to say hi to him on an app. haters are gonna hate, it is an infantile method of making themselves feel better that reads to any rational human being as a large flashing sign that they are insecure about themselves and are not ready for any kind of relationship even the kind that is generally acceptable on the apps

He was probably a blank profile

I had gone to New York City a little while after a break up (175 to 200 pounds, can you tell I eat my feelings?) and this guy on grindr literally said to me that I am fat and disgusting and then proceeded to tell me where on my body all the fat was. I’ve lost the weight and almost back to my baseline since then but (184) it was actually one of the most hurtful things I’ve ever heard from someone.

Don’t take it to heart, even if it’s hot people saying this, they will always be pathetic and disgusting people who will consistently find themselves in toxic and shallow relationships.

Their loss, not yours.

You are not ugly, he just have issues.

People bring you down because they’re beneath you. Read that again, omg he’s like not worth your time

Anyone who speaks to another person like that is living a miserable life. Bullet dodged!

He did absolutely nothing wrong when he said that you weren’t his type. But then he went too far with the ugly comments. It just wasn’t necessary. But like everyone is saying you dodged a bullet. He’s probably the ugly af one on the inside. Beautiful, sexy people are not always so beautiful and sexy on the inside. Deep inside Ugly is so much harder to deal with. So just walk away and never look back.

I've never been called ugly, so that would be new to me lol. I'd just laugh.

Or, he could just be teasing you. Sometimes, it’s the person’s previous experience, a form of endearment, if you will.

OP I'm so sorry and I'm sure you're not ugly, but this is reminding me so much of the Demi Lovato meme of "Delete it fat" lmaooo I'm dying

Anyone who is so rude to directly admonish another person appearance online is a loser. It is just rude and not nice to do. A white guy got mad at me for declining to meet him. The guy then went on to stereotype black people. I thought to myself glad I listened to my intuition. Some people are assholes online. I usually just block and move on. I don't engage because they aren't worth it.

Insecure man on gay app spotted ! Adding informations to your Pokédex !

Hopefully Karma gets to him.

That person, someone you didn’t know, called you ugly? Ignore them. You know what, beauty is skin deep, ugly is to the bone. Those people that would say that to a stranger are ugly to the fucking bones! You need not have that in your life! 

Take care bud, what’s inside matters more than what’s on the outside! ;) 

The power of anonymity ! If that guys actual data was public he'd easily be publically shamed and cancelled for his behaviour

Nah… you gotta lean more heavily into delusional thinking with this… obviously you’re so good looking and come across as incredibly secure, so he took a risk and left you with a hilarious quip that a less secure guy might find offensive… all just to leave you with a smile on your face after such a wholesome interaction ! Amazing! This incredibly emotionally intelligent behaviour has left you with such a good feeling, you’re already ready to hit the apps again! 🎉

The real ugly one is the one who walks around calling others ugly.

Only someone insecure about their own looks would feel the need to say that to your face. (Don't get me wrong, hot people mock ugly people all the time but among their friends...because, well, they have friends)

I would’ve said “oh I’m actually glad you think that because bitch you’re actually ugly, have a nice life”. Very true what that one person said ^ no one is meaner than an insecure gay on the apps

I got called a hideous disgusting deformed monster. Needless to stay I hopped off the app for a bit cuz I was in shock lmao

I'm sorry .... this happened to me before but ik I'm not ugly and the guy who said it is insecure and I think you are maybe went through the same situation.

Send me that pic! That guys a fuckin jerk

Probably a fake profile of buncha straight drunk guys thinking it’s funny. Screw them. Don’t let anyone affect how you see yourself which comes first. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.. smile and call him a pathetic coward.. and move on with a smile.

Some guy told me the other day that I was “cute but not at all” I was so confused bc it was out of nowhere and I was kinda hurt. No one has ever complimented me nor dissed me for my looks before so hearing that as my first was pretty hurtful. I don’t even know if I’m attractive 😭

The tone of it comes across as very childish. You should only be offended at the thoughts of someone you respect and not those of a man child.

It happens all the time! Guys are mean...possibly as revenge for something done to them. Sorry you've had to deal with it.

You've never been called ugly as a joke? Guys jokingly call each other ugly all the time

I've been called ugly and treated poorly on apps and in person.

I don't give a fuck anymore. I know the type I'm into, and I know they all consider me ugly, fat, and old, so I just go through life single and sexless instead of settling for another ugly, fat, old man.