Soooo I’ve realized I absolutely suck at maintenance - I can now go through most of my stuff and get rid of items that were hard before. I am so on board with ruthless decluttering and it feels amazing. But I’ve run into a problem. I declutter an area and then a week or two etc it gets cluttered again and then it seems like I’ve made no progress and start feeling discouraged/annoyed etc. I’ve realized it’s because I suck at the maintenance part - I’m not sure if it’s actual decluttering or cleaning etc (or a combo). Any tips for maintaining areas while/after decluttering? Anyone have this issue and found it was more of a cleaning thing vs more decluttering?
I love Dana!! I do think I need to go back and read her books again because they helped me so much at the beginning of me starting to declutter.
And that’s really helpful to know that there’s gonna be a transition period with different layers - I think that definitely helps my mindset.
You need to determine if the things are actually clutter (ie things you don’t actually use and could easily leave your home—and if so, then you might not be as good at decluttering as you think) or are these things not clutter, you actively use and enjoy them, but they just pile up because they aren’t in their home.
If the latter, you need to figure out why those things are piling up. Do they not have a dedicated home? Is their dedicated home not convenient, so you just get lazy and throw it on the counter, then things pile up?
It’s not enough to declutter. Every single thing you possess needs to have a dedicated home, and needs to be put in that dedicated home EVERY time you are done using it.
That makes sense. I think because I’m in the middle of it alot do the items aren’t necessarily clutter but they might not have a home yet so I do need to work on that.
I've decluttered before (pretty well, but nothing like I'm working on right now!) and i find that maintenance bit to be really difficult, too.
If there are one or two spots that regularly get piled up in the wrong place--maybe the right place is where they pile up? Work around that. Mail that stacks up on a table: have a small wastebasket beside the hallway table to throw away junk mail and envelopes, and a nice box to put opened things in til you get around to dealing with it. Then MAKE time time on a regular basis to go through and pay bills, file away, or throw.
Alternately, move the table/place where clutter gives birth to 5 generations of more clutter. A cute shelf or table is no longer cute if it just gathers stuff. If it's not being used for its intended purpose, find somewhere else to put the stuff that gathers there and either get rid of it or move it somewhere it can really be used/seen.
One thing I try to keep an eye out for is areas where clutter is likely to pile up. For me this is in one of two situations:
1, something like an entryway or other spot where people are likely to set things down. Coffee and end tables, the bar area in the kitchen, etc. The solution to this clutter is just to pick it up periodically. Sentimental clutter is unlikely to be in these areas, so it's pretty easy to do. For example this morning there were some dirty dishes and a pile of junk mail on the bar in the kitchen, so I put the dishes by the sink and threw away the junk mail.
2, An area of the house that isn't really being used for anything, so we put items there when they have no real home. Or also can be sort of an "I'll put this here till I have time to take care of it properly" area, and quickly becomes a pile of things to donate, stuff that needs to go to the storage unit, items I say I'm going to sell "eventually", etc. This is where sentimental clutter is likely to be a factor, also these piles tend to get out of control quickly so it's more complicated than just "throw out the junk mail and do the dishes". I'm still working on what to do with this type of thing, but I think the answer lies in having a home for everything and trying to actually use these parts of the house more.
what is filling up the space again. Just the small general detritus of life?
This is the hard part of adult living. No one goes behind you to pick things up. If you have a drink, when you get up again, you take the cup and put it in the sink or dishwasher. When you eat, you put your dishes in same when done. When you get undressed, you put clothes away or in the laundry bin. When you do the laundry, you fold and put away. You just do it. This may be an ADHD thing, or a discipline thing, but it is conquerable.
If the space is getting cluttered as you declutter another space, that's ok for the time being, because overall, you will have less stuff to deal with.
But of the stuff you have kept, have you figured out how to reorganize and store things? Is that the issue?
I think you are doing well overall, and things will come together with time.
I found that the more I decluttered the less cluttered the spaces would be because there were simply fewer things to manage. I find Dana White's framework of redecluttering and starting in the same place each time worked really well for me. A lot of our stuff used to get piled on the dining room table, so I always started there. That told me what things either didn't have a good home or were to hard to put away because the home was either too full or too inaccessible because I was stashing stuff in every nook and cranny trying to "maximize space." Once I started letting go I noticed how much more slowly those random clutter piles formed. They still happen. But they take more time and take a lot less time to clean up.
Yes! But it does take time, and persistence, because you unearth more layers of clutter as you get through the top ones!
Hard to put away because the right area is full is HUGE. This is honestly probably at the core of my clutter issues.
The stuff that piles up on the kitchen table is the stuff we are actually using. It’s the stuff in the back of our closets that is usually excess.
Ours too. This is where starting with that same location every time really helped. Because it very clearly pointed out what was being used, and it kind of gave me permission to start letting go of some of the stuff that wasn't being used, because it was more important for the things being used to have a home than it was to store that thing that I might maybe use at some point in the future.
So every time I went to try to put away the thing that was sitting on the table I tried to find one or more things in the space where I was trying to put it that could go in the donate box, to make that space more easily used. Slowly but surely the stuff I used was more easily put away and I didn't really miss any of the random stuff I had pulled out and shoved in the donate box. I also like this method because instead of making it into a big process I just did it a little at a time. And slowly but surely things got better. Even the back of the closets are starting to get better because I got to the point that I could reach the stuff shoved way in the back, because the stuff shoved in the front and middle had been thinned out enough to reach back there. lol.
I am about to go through that process with my glass jars. The clean ones have been piling up on the kitchen counter, because the space I store them has gotten too full and its gotten to be too much of a pain in the ass to put them away. Which tells me I need to take the basket down from above the cabinet and put some of those jars in the donate box/recycling bin. The ones all the way down on the bottom that are not out on the counter because they are the ones I use less often. I will keep my favorites that get used a lot, and let some of the others go, so that the jar storage space is easier to shove things into. It's not going to be pretty and organized. But I'm going to make sure that I no longer fear a jar falling out and landing on my head when I take the basket down.
Something I read that I now say to myself quite a bit is, "don't put it down, put it away". Don't let yourself drop stuff off in a place it doesn't belong or tuck it off to the side.
A follow on to this 'never leave a room empty handed' eg if I'm going upstairs anyway, what can I take with me eg clean pile of washing. Or taking a used mug or glass back downstairs.
Do you have places for the stuff that is being left out? If you don't have spaces for them find one and if there is no room for it then you still have to declutter a little bit more until there is.
Secondly stop new stuff coming in as much as possible. You should mainly be buying to replace items that run out or wear out and avoid new things that will take up more space where ever possible. There will be exceptions of course but buying new things shouldn't be a weekly or monthly occurrence.
As for routines tidying as you go helps a lot. Sort mail as soon as it comes into the house, aim to only touch it once. Recycle flyers and envelopes straight away. Letters you need to take action on take to the place you will take that action so you are reminded to do it but aim to get rid of as much of the mail as possible.
When you leave a room see if you can take anything with you as you go. So cups back to the kitchen, laundry to the hamper, things that belong in another room. Take five minutes in the evening to quickly straighten things up, throwing away trash and put things back in their place. Similarly in the morning put dishes away in the cupboard, clear surfaces and wipe them down after breakfast.
I don't hold to it as strictly as I maybe should but I find FlyLady's concept of a morning and evening routine very helpful. There is an app called FlyLady Plus which is free to download, you just need to log in with an email address to access the daily and weekly routines. You can ignore the paid courses section but you can read the daily missions and her general tips on the first tab to get a feel for the method. It also has a timer option at the top for the various timed activities like 15min tidy ups. Using the app might give you a general feel for how often you should be doing each task but the daily tidy ups and resetting the kitchen are the backbone of it really. You can leave dusting for a few days and nothing bad will happen but the kitchen doesn't take long to get out of control if you don't reset it daily by putting things away and wiping it down.
Secondly stop new stuff coming in as much as possible. You should mainly be buying to replace items that run out or wear out and avoid new things that will take up more space where ever possible. There will be exceptions of course but buying new things shouldn't be a weekly or monthly occurrence.
This.
If its not a consumable like groceries, tp, soap, etc. (and even then, I only get those things when they're on my shopping list) I get rid of X prior to getting a new X.
For example, I had a problem with used books. I do read them eventually, but I had to go through my collection for 3 moves within the last 3 years. Now, if I want to buy a new book I have to get rid of a similarly-sized book to make room on the shelf. Same with clothing.
It is tedious, but it keeps me honest and sometimes not wanting to go through the process is enough of a motivator in and of itself re: not bringing new things in - but that's kind of the point.
Thank you for putting it all together like this. It’s honestly very helpful. I definitely need to do more decluttering in general but I think you’re so right about me dealing with things as they come in- I think that’s a big part of the struggle.
This book really helped me:
Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky
Even if you don’t have ADHD, she gives solid tips on a room by room basis.
You need to give all your items a “home”. A place they belong so you can quickly put everything away without a second thought. That would be proper maintenance of a home.
You need to start with a schedule, a time committment and a plan, Start with some of the main messy things - trash, dishes and laundry and decide how much time you can give them every week. You can also schedule time for picking up and putting things back in their places. This doesn’t need to be hours, it’s amazing what you can do in even 15 minutes if you do it consistently.
For me, it took about a year of this cycle before I got rid of enough stuff that I truly feel the difference. It's hard, but as you start chipping away, you unearth even more layers that had been all mashed together and now you have to sort those too. Keep going!
Also recommend Dana White and her books and YT, she has adhd and her techniques are very simple yet work super well for me! I've made more progress after reading her books than I did in months prior.