This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. It's not a place to push gendered agendas; it's not a place to talk about all the reasons not to date; it's not a place to talk about everything wrong with dating people over 40; and it's not a place to talk about everything that's wrong with your target gender. This is a sub that intends to be positive about dating, sex, and relationships over 40, and that includes being positive or at least civil towards all genders and life stages.

~~~

We have a [Discord chatroom](https://discord.gg/YU9w72pQB5) for general discussion and dating conversation.

~~~

***BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.*** Please familiarize yourself with our community. This is not an exhaustive list; moderators have full discretion and if you are sanctioned for something that you "didn't know," honestly, we're all adults and it's probably something that you should have known.

***MISSION 1.*** This is a subreddit that intends to be positive about dating and relationships. Posts that are primarily negative towards dating or the target gender are better suited for other subreddits.

***MISSION 2.*** This is a subreddit for Dating Over Forty. We welcome posters who are over 40 or posters who are in dating relationships with people over 40, but we will not host discussion of people over 40 dating people under 25.

***SUBSTANCE.*** It is expected that posts contain an actual question. It's also expected that posters participate in their own threads, which means that we won't host discussions where no participant is involved (like posts about friends or celebrities).

***FAQ.*** We have compiled a wiki of (very) frequently asked questions [here] (https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/wiki/index). Please note that these topics include "which app" and "age range". If you feel that your question is so unique that it is not covered by the wiki, please make sure that all that unique content is covered in the OP.

***NO SEX/GENDER GENERALIZATIONS, STEREOTYPES, OR DOUBLE STANDARDS.*** Men are people, women are people, everyone in between is people. Let's talk about the people in our lives as individuals, not stereotypes.

***NO BOYS'/GIRLS' CLUBS.*** No links, language, or ideas from gendered movements, including but not limited to The Red Pill, Female Dating Strategy, MGTOW, passport bros, etc.

***NO BIGOTRY.*** No racism, homophobia/transphobia, or other ugly prejudices.

***NO SOLICITING.*** No "seeking" posts and no hitting on other posters. This is a place to discuss dating, not to find dates.

***NO BODY/SEX SHAMING.*** You can and should like what you like, but if you don't find certain physical acts or attributes appealing, there's no need to share that with us. This also includes having/seeking sex outside of serious, monogamous relationships.

***NO AGEISM.*** We're not going to host discussions about why people in their 20s and 30s are so much more attractive than people in their 40s and 50s. It's not a universal truth and it's just not appropriate here. 

***NO DOCTORING.*** No diagnosing mental or physical ailments (including personality disorders and mental illnesses), and no recommending treatments. No speculating about fertility, menopause, ED, or "porn sickness."

***NO SELF-PROMOTION or SURVEYS.*** Surveys and questions purely for research and/or publication will not be allowed. We will not allow dating coaches or other content creators to farm here. 

***NO CALLOUTS, NO CROSSPOSTING.*** Issues with another poster or with subreddit moderation will only be addressed through modmail. No discussion of other subreddits, brigading, or posting DO40 content elsewhere either, please.

***NO POLITICAL DEBATES.*** Sometimes it's hard to separate politics from life and love, but this isn't the place to campaign.

---

**RECOMMENDED SUBS**

/r/FriendsOver40 

/r/40something

/r/datingoverthirty

/r/datingoverfifty

/r/R4R30Plus

/r/R4R40Plus

/r/lgbt 

/r/trans

if you think your sub is compatible with ours, feel free to contact us and we will be happy to link you.

<div class="md">This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. It&#39;s not a place to push gendered agendas; it&#39;s not a place to talk about all the reasons not to date; it&#39;s not a place to talk about everything wrong with dating people over 40; and it&#39;s not a place to talk about everything that&#39;s wrong with your target gender. This is a sub that intends to be positive about dating, sex, and relationships over 40, and that includes being positive or at least civil towards all genders and life stages.

~~~

We have a <a href="https://discord.gg/YU9w72pQB5">Discord chatroom</a> for general discussion and dating conversation.

~~~

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER. Please familiarize yourself with our community. This is not an exhaustive list; moderators have full discretion and if you are sanctioned for something that you &quot;didn&#39;t know,&quot; honestly, we&#39;re all adults and it&#39;s probably something that you should have known.

MISSION 1. This is a subreddit that intends to be positive about dating and relationships. Posts that are primarily negative towards dating or the target gender are better suited for other subreddits.

MISSION 2. This is a subreddit for Dating Over Forty. We welcome posters who are over 40 or posters who are in dating relationships with people over 40, but we will not host discussion of people over 40 dating people under 25.

SUBSTANCE. It is expected that posts contain an actual question. It&#39;s also expected that posters participate in their own threads, which means that we won&#39;t host discussions where no participant is involved (like posts about friends or celebrities).

FAQ. We have compiled a wiki of (very) frequently asked questions <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/wiki/index">here</a>. Please note that these topics include &quot;which app&quot; and &quot;age range&quot;. If you feel that your question is so unique that it is not covered by the wiki, please make sure that all that unique content is covered in the OP.

NO SEX/GENDER GENERALIZATIONS, STEREOTYPES, OR DOUBLE STANDARDS. Men are people, women are people, everyone in between is people. Let&#39;s talk about the people in our lives as individuals, not stereotypes.

NO BOYS&#39;/GIRLS&#39; CLUBS. No links, language, or ideas from gendered movements, including but not limited to The Red Pill, Female Dating Strategy, MGTOW, passport bros, etc.

NO BIGOTRY. No racism, homophobia/transphobia, or other ugly prejudices.

NO SOLICITING. No &quot;seeking&quot; posts and no hitting on other posters. This is a place to discuss dating, not to find dates.

NO BODY/SEX SHAMING. You can and should like what you like, but if you don&#39;t find certain physical acts or attributes appealing, there&#39;s no need to share that with us. This also includes having/seeking sex outside of serious, monogamous relationships.

NO AGEISM. We&#39;re not going to host discussions about why people in their 20s and 30s are so much more attractive than people in their 40s and 50s. It&#39;s not a universal truth and it&#39;s just not appropriate here. 

NO DOCTORING. No diagnosing mental or physical ailments (including personality disorders and mental illnesses), and no recommending treatments. No speculating about fertility, menopause, ED, or &quot;porn sickness.&quot;

NO SELF-PROMOTION or SURVEYS. Surveys and questions purely for research and/or publication will not be allowed. We will not allow dating coaches or other content creators to farm here. 

NO CALLOUTS, NO CROSSPOSTING. Issues with another poster or with subreddit moderation will only be addressed through modmail. No discussion of other subreddits, brigading, or posting DO40 content elsewhere either, please.

NO POLITICAL DEBATES. Sometimes it&#39;s hard to separate politics from life and love, but this isn&#39;t the place to campaign.

<hr/>

RECOMMENDED SUBS

<a href="/r/FriendsOver40">/r/FriendsOver40</a> 

<a href="/r/40something">/r/40something</a>

<a href="/r/datingoverthirty">/r/datingoverthirty</a>

<a href="/r/datingoverfifty">/r/datingoverfifty</a>

<a href="/r/R4R30Plus">/r/R4R30Plus</a>

<a href="/r/R4R40Plus">/r/R4R40Plus</a>

<a href="/r/lgbt">/r/lgbt</a> 

<a href="/r/trans">/r/trans</a>

if you think your sub is compatible with ours, feel free to contact us and we will be happy to link you.
</div>

t5_su6ij

This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. This is a sub that intends to be positive about dating, sex, and relationships over 40, and that includes being positive or at least civil towards all genders and life stages.

<div class="md">This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. This is a sub that intends to be positive about dating, sex, and relationships over 40, and that includes being positive or at least civil towards all genders and life stages.
</div>

What’s your reaction/perception when you find out that your 40 yo date hasn’t been with any man for over 10 years and hasn’t dated for over 20?