How many over 50’s are just giving up on dating and relationships?. Online dating is so draining

reply with someone else's dick pic.

find one bigger than his.

if he doesn't reply  

double text with oh what's wrong..

no sense of humour?

I truly think men and women want different things 90% of the time. 

I'm just exhausted by the quest for sex (and, by extension, youth). I would love to have sex again with someone I even liked, but getting nude photos or salacious texts isn't going to make me like a guy. 

There are many women who will sleep with them first in the hope of it becoming a relationship, but I will not, so I guess I'm out of the running for the few normal men who might be out there. 

I left the apps. If he arrives, fine

If he sends an unsolicited dick pic, send one back. He’ll block you which is basically the trash taking itself out.

I gave up on dating over 10 years ago in my mid 40s. I'd been in the dating scene off and on for nearly 25 years, with several long term relationships in between periods of dating and short spans of taking time off from it. I finally got tired of the bullshit.

I'm much more comfortable being single; having my time and my space to myself; not putting up with manipulative game playing and misogyny, and having better mental health because of it.

We don't have to be partnered. We don't have any less value by not being partnered than if we are, despite decades of societal and media pressures that consistently and stereotypically express the opposite.

We're perfectly valid and valuable human beings whether we're partnered or not. Get comfortable with it. Internalize it. Live it.

I’m sorry you encountered a sex offender.

His work might want a copy of that image.

My time on OLD left me exhausted, traumatised and struggling not to hate men, certainly very wary of men. The games, the misogyny, the objectification, the manipulation, the casual cruelty, the prioritising of sex above all else. The level of bad behaviour and the predatory behaviour by men who can spot any hint of vulnerability a mile off (and I have had one guy admit that is why he targeted me). I was so naive. I can’t ever see myself going back

But of course it’s so much easier for women, right? Because at least we get matches /s

I tried explaining to my 25 yr old daughter what dating over 50 is like.... the incredibly bad behavior of grown ass adults is astonishing!

you have to be selective. and unfortunately a lot of guys are just stupid pervs which they are more than willing to prove as you have discovered.

I gave up the apps. If I meet someone, then I meet someone. If not, that’s ok too. I have time for hobbies and such. I’m content.

Can't say I blame you. OLD is just a cash machine to string folks along to increase profits for the owners of those sites. Membership on same tends to often be "problematic" as you've just described. It just ain't easy.

I’ve given up on the apps for this reason. Or they act normal long enough to meet in person and then get all rapey , which can be scary sometimes. I don’t know if this is only an issue for women who’ve been sexually assaulted and raped and the other women can brush it off? I do not see the point of inviting this level of stress into your life. If someone comes along awesome. If not, then things are still pretty good all in all.

That's a ridiculous thing to do, I'm a male and I'd never do such a thing, you really wonder if these guys have a brain and/or understand women at all.

Apps suck. I don’t think I’m going to find my person on a dating app. I want a partner who knows how to interact in real life with actual human beings. Hit me up in person. There’s no ring on this finger.

I fully accept that he may never come along.

I'm off apps for good, and currently taking a long break from all things opposite gender.

I was on Match for nearly a year. 16 days before my subscription ended one match connected with me, and I reciprocated. We are 10.5 months into our first year together. Sometimes the process finds you. Patience pays off.

Like, I get creepers sending dick pics but a full nude from his work office? What a potato. 🤣

I received unsolicited dick pics (actual whole body shots with the member in its upright form) from a man who works in a very prominent professional position. I know where and could have outed him-- but I didn't. I don't need to ruin his career just because he is stupid.

I received several butt pics from a man who wanted me to spank him and was showing me the goods. Blech

I just had dinner last week with an old guy (older than his pics or stated age) who wasted my time (this is why I don't do dinner) telling me he wanted me for part of a threesome and everything he'd like to do. I was trapped for over an hour and in retrospect should have walked out.

I've tried. I've really tried. The one guy I actually liked who DIDN'T go all sexty and inappropriate friend-zoned me. Sigh.

Please don’t give up. Most of us are not like that, and have never sent an image like that to anyone ever - even spouses. We’re old enough and wise enough to both fear what can happen with digital images on the Internet, and to realize that no image can compare to a real live person beside you.

Were you chatting on an app? If so I would report him so we can get these creeps off the sites. If not, did he insist on going off app. A lot of these creeps try to get you off the apps so the app security department doesn't have evidence.

Stay on the app for your safety.

I gave up on relationships after my 2nd marriage failed...I clearly do not have a good radar lol That said I was happily married for 12 years... and then unhappily married for 5 before I gave up.

I cannot imagine doing OLD again.

I would love to make some new friends, but I cannot see how while worming full time from home and raising teens.

Maybe once the kids leave home I would think about it....I will prob be in "dating over 6o" by then lol

Look for some local interest groups...make friends and be happy and I hope love comes your way

Yep, (F58) the last one I met online we exchanged pictures & his last 3 were 🤢I almost lost my coffee I was enjoying!!! I had no words, not a dick pic but worse, pictures of his waist down wearing underwear hairy belly hanging & last one 🤢him posing laying naked sheets covering privates but hairy hanging belly & him bald looking older than 60 & like an overweight pervert. I blocked him & I’m still nauseous that was over year ago. Like another O50 member mentioned here a few times & I totally 💯 agree: OLD is like panning for gold in a sewer !!!!! I’m very happy alone with my fur babies & kids & my goals I’m working on. NO thanks !!!!

I'm torn between either an extended break, or just throwing in the towel all together. It used to be fun, but lately it just doesn't interest me.

I can honestly say I've never sent a dick pic to anyone, not even while I was married 🤣 I have received boob shots, but only from partners.

I’m sorry you’ve been through this.

I’ve given up. Online dating was bad enough, then to top it off a friend I had known for years asked me out. Said all kinds of crap about me being exactly the woman he’s been looking for blah blah.

Thank god I didn’t sleep with him (which was what he was angling for) because within days he said we should just be friends.

Turns out he was seeing a number of different women around that time.

I have lost faith in people and don’t trust anyone anymore. It’s actually affected my ability to make new friends etc and I used to be very trusting, friendly and kind to people. Now I prefer to stay be on my own. It is safer and far more peaceful.

I stopped using online dating websites about 1.5 years ago, and have no intention of going back, now that they've become so bad. Sure, I keep my eyes open for potential opportunities as I'm out in the real world living my life, but at this point (and for a long time now, really) I never meet obviously single women in public.

I've been on vacation from my job for the past several days, and a couple times during that period I was reminded again, as happens every once in a great while, that most of the places, and events I go in my free time either have no one in them, or certainly no single women my age. I'm reconciled to that's just how it is now.

I have come to the conclusion the reason I am here on Earth is to help others. It's what I do. I don't spend time thinking about things I don't have or wanting things I don't need.

You folks are scaring me...I haven't started but it sounds very discouraging. Its gross someone sends you dick pics. I suppose the guy's side is catfishing. Always worry I'm talking with a bot, scammer, or another man posing as a women.OLD sounds frightening.

Me. I am off all sites. I do a lot of mountain biking. Hoping to meet someone IRL on a trail ride. This is quite wishful thinking.

Reading these posts, I guess I’ve been lucky to not receive any dick pics in the couple years I’ve been on OkCupid.

I swipe left on anyone who says they’re looking for hookups in their profile, and anyone who hasn’t put together a thoughtful profile of themselves and answered some of the match questions. Not sure if those help.

I don't get why men do this. Read the room. Has any woman ever responded positively to an unsolicited dick pic unless she was a fake account trying to scam the guy? I just don't get it.

Well, as a somewhat recently singled 50+ contemplating OLD this post snapped me out of it. I hear the rare story from people who have met their partner while OLD. But I hear more stories like yours and I’m inclined to just go about my business, enjoy my life doing what I love and as another redditor on here said “if he shows up, fine.” But I love having a partner. I miss having a partner.

I'm in decent shape, but I'm 51...I cringe when I see myself naked in the mirror. I can't imagine just sending someone a random picture.

At what point in time did sending a dick Pic to anyone for any reason become okay?

I keep hearing this guy or that guy sent me a dick pic and it just doesn't compute. WHY???

I like having sex, so no, I'm not giving up.

Online dating has introduced me to hundreds of men, in a huge age range, without ever having to leave the house. For that I am grateful. Yes, it's a lot of work trying to sort through them all because naturally most of them will not be a good fit. But that's just the process. It's far less exhausting than going out every night trying to meet people organically.

If men engage with me in a way that I do not enjoy, I simply appreciate them quickly showing me that we are not a good fit and I move along.

The trash took itself out 😂

I've thrown in the towel, the dating apps suck and I haven't met a mature woman IRL.

I gave up. Spent a year on the apps, never got beyond phone calls.

I gave up on dating...15 years ago? Yeah. 15 years and I really don't miss it. I'll get curious once in a while, go back on the sites...and get swiftly reminded why I left.

Personally, I have given up on OLD (over 50F). It's tough enough when you're over 50 finding other singles. Tgen thru act like that. By the time people reach that age, you'd think there would be some semblance of maturity. And, I also find too many that are over 50, are looking for that 30 something person. Yes, this could apply to men or women that are over 50. Just doesn't make sense to me. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I’m wanting to start the apps sometime this summer. It’s scary!

I gave up about 13 years ago. All I was finding was guys who couldn't message a complete sentence. And then it was followed by a dick or sex talk. Who needs it?

I've stopped dating and it's been so freeing to me! No more feeling like I need to be on the pursuit. No wasting my time scrolling on the apps looking for whoever based on some dated photos and a paragraph or two. No more awkward dates where you know within 2-5 minutes that this isn't your person and trying to focus for another 40 min to 1 hour or more.

Nope I'd rather be doing stuff that I enjoy. If I meet someone in my daily life, great! if not, great!

I've given up on apps. If I can meet someone in the real world, great. If not, I'm OK with being single.

I don't understand it. I don't ask for nor do I voluntarily send nudes. I consider it disrespectful to do so. However, if she voluntarily sends a nude, I will compliment and thank her for it. If she asks for one from me, I would send one without my face being visible. But, that all takes away from the excitement of discovery when we are able to be together IRL.

I guess you could say I've "given up" on OLD, given that I've never used it seriously and haven't really used it at all since 2003, I think?

But I wouldn't say I've given up on dating or relationships. I'm a tango addict, out dancing 4-5 nights most week, and I frequently meet women there whose company I enjoy, then occasionally find one who I want to get to know better. I've only attempted to date two of them since the pandemic and neither was interested, but still friends with both and I have zero doubt that I'll meet more in the (probably near-ish) future, and, until then, I'm having a great time meeting and dancing with them regardless.

In the uk, this has been a criminal offence since 2022.

“The practice typically involves offenders sending an unsolicited sexual image to people via social media or dating apps, but can also be over data sharing services such as Bluetooth and Airdrop. …

The new offence will ensure cyberflashing is captured clearly by the criminal law – giving the police and Crown Prosecution Service greater ability to bring more perpetrators to justice. It follows similar recent action to criminalise upskirting and breastfeeding voyeurism with the Government determined to protect people, particularly women and girls, from these emerging crimes.”

I find OLD tiresome in that it requires focus and energy and often I don't feel like all of that, which is partly why I am not dating at all at the moment (so not on the apps), but I have yet to receive naked pics or naked body parts and haven't had to field sexual attacks/messages from some random and I can imagine that would probably make me delete the apps too.

But don't throw the baby out with the bath water. You can ditch the apps and remain open to and interested in relationships you just will have to be creative about how and where to meet people. Good luck!

Listen, I just got engaged on Saturday and I’m 53 to a 53-year-old

That's unfortunate. In my area there is a meetup group that organizes events for singles. I've been to only 3 events but it's so much better than OLD... talking to people in person in a group environment... so much better. I don't have to worry about burning myself, because there's no haystack to set on fire.

I am giving up.

Digital assault

Jokes are funny

Trash taking itself out. He doesn't understand basic consent and isn't even aware you have boundaries let alone what they are

I guess it's a guy thing. I'm a guy and I have yet to have a woman send me a nude photo. What's wrong with this world anyway!

My model is that chatting over the first 48 hours is basically just to give them time to do something like this. It is surprising how many people filter themselves out.

You can filter out some people by their pics. Some by the text in their bio. More from texting in the first two days. Those are all people that you don’t have to meet! More will be filtered at the first meeting. The second meet is the first real date.

It seems like hassle, but other ways are not necessarily easier or safer.

Good luck finding what you are looking for with the least amount of difficulty possible!

Meeeeee! (52F) I've been burned enough in every one of my relationships up until now, usually by being cheated on. I am done. I am happy living alone and to even consider dating someone would require them competing with my peaceful life. I don't see anyone outweighing the happiness I've created for myself.

I found love again.. Thank gawd for those aps. Found her in the worst place too, AFF. Full of women scamming to try to get your money through gift cards and tales of woe. Full of nasty dudes that would do anything to hook up.

I found an unconventional relationship, but no doubt love. For me, didn't think I'd get this shot again. Wow.

It can happen. Marrying my lovely unicorn lady next month. We met online two years ago.

Don't give up hope!

Sorry for the jerks out there...

Give up? No, but I do think people stress about it too much. They put too much pressure on themselves. They look for "perfection" without really thinking about what "perfect" is. They self-sabotage.

Get used to the idea that there are over eight billion people out there and MOST of them don't want to date you. MOST of them would be a bad match anyway. That's not because you aren't a good person, it's just because there's so much variability. Don't take it personally or feel bad when it doesn't work. Remember, you always find what you're looking for in the last place you look. ;)

I guess he let you know what he was looking for. I’m so sorry!

I’m so sick of the married men. Just man up and get a divorce dickheads.

I took a break from dating and was just about to get back in the game when covid hit. So I took that as a sign from on high 😂😂😂. Then life sent a few family hits (5 funerals in 4 years) and I just stopped worrying about dating. I'm open if it happens but I'm also happy on my own. I got off the apps a couple of years ago. Too many scammers. Who ever is next will have to meet me in the wild. Sorry you can't send me dick pics 🤷🏼‍♀️

I do wonder if the nude that guy sent was actually him. So many fakes out there. Regardless, he's a loser.

Chatting for 24 hours before meeting? Sounds like a true slog. Even at just an hour a day, that’s most of a month.

That is so rude-:( I understand very well your frustration. Some men are just bad.

What app were you using? Do you have a paid account? I think that this type of behavior, while it can occur on any app, is generally more likely to occur on certain apps.

If you’re fed up with online dating, then perhaps you should consider a matchmaker service like talkify or others.

Oh my gosh. What is wrong with people?

I don't consider it giving up as much as embracing a path forward where we honour ourselves and our time.

🙌🏼

I would say your sense of humor is just fine. He’s just not funny.

I would be so skeeved out. It’s adolescent behavior from a middle aged man. Why would that be at all appealing?

I googled to see if there had been an AMA on this (what I view as) deviant behavior and found this thread: Reddit: Why do men send unsolicited dick pics? 

As a male, I don't understand what prompts a man to do that. Even if the thought were to cross someone's mind, there are so many posts online in various places about how women are appalled by it, that you would think they'd consider not doing it. Of course, common sense isn't quite so common, so maybe I'm giving people too much credit.

I'm close to this; the last man I really liked gave up before we could even meet (long distance). Very sad.

52F. I haven't given up on dating overall but I'm taking a break from OLD. It is really draining. I only had one bad experience with a high school teacher who thought it was ok to grab my ass on a first date. But mostly I encountered a ton of mentally/physically unhealthy men. I did meet a few good ones but...this is so weird...they didn't like to French kiss. Just closed-mouth little pecks. Hell I did that with my parents. Those are not going to get my juices flowing. One became a good friend. Hanging out with him today in fact.

I'm going to go to more Meetups and sign up for more recreational activities like group hikes and dancing. None of the healthy men I know have ever been on a dating app.

I tried OLD, it’s not for me, decided to live my life and enjoy my hobbies. Joined the gym and met with my coach for a consultation. We hit it off right away, ran into each other at the beach and have been inseparable since.

He’s my golden unicorn! A single Christian man who gets me. He’s 53 I’m 58 ( look younger than my age).

A gentleman, who is compatible with me in every respect. I never thought I could feel this way again. I get butterflies in my stomach when he’s close. He holds my hand and it’s like I’m 16 again. He feels the same way. The attraction is electric. We’re like love sick teenagers.

Life takes strange turns and when you least expect it, something wonderful happens.

Edit: Forgot to include an important part of the puzzle. I live in my van full time. For years he has been thinking about getting into van-life. His lease is up and he is now starting van-life. Amazing!!

Never give up looking for your special someone!

A person sending unsolicited nude or d’ick pics is basically sex offender. Report, block and move on. Edit to add: Don’t give up, just get rid of these jerks as quickly as you can to find your gem. There are ways to assess a person’s character by their language patterns in conversation. Check out burned haystack dating.

I’ve had three amazing “things” from OLD - going back decades:

1) Rebound Man after I left my husband 2) The Love of My Life (10 years - he passed away) 3) Covid Man - fun, but he’s broke and I am not supporting another adult

I’m good now, thanks - as a lot of other women I know are, too.

This literally just happened to me. On paper a good catch— retired vet, seeming involved father, homeowner, good conversation. Talked to him for four days and the day of our date he sends a dick pic. Out of the blue— normal, normal, 💥 dick pic. I don’t get it. Like sex will come with time— no one wants to see your penis.

Me. 🙋‍♀️ I hate all the online dating nonsense: * "You didn't answer me but I can see you're online." * Mentions CURRENT WIFE * Compares me to ex * Doesn't mention serious physical infirmity that makes meeting in person extraordinarily awkward * Sticks hands simultaneously up blouse and down pants while coming in for goodbye hug (we had never kissed, hugged, or touched before... And this was in a well lit public area.) * Random arguments in my inbox from men who want to argue with my dealbreakers (DELETE/BLOCK) * Multiple profiles, same pics, different names * Cougar hunters (or people posing as cougar hunters) * I never really know who I'm chatting with til I meet face to face

It all gives me the ick. To say I'm over it is a gross understatement.

I was on/off the apps from age 51-56. Had many interesting experiences, met some great men, and many incompatibles. I met my current boyfriend on Tinder. Within a few messages, he asked me out. On our 3rd date, we were about to have sex and I said, we need to have a clothes-on conversation first. I’m not opposed to hook ups but I felt he was different. So I showed my vulnerability and said, if we have sex, I will get attached to you. I was terrified. He replied with, “so will I”. It’s only been 5 months but it’s going really well! And my grown kids all like him. So…even Tinder (unpaid version) can deliver up a more than decent man. We would never had met otherwise. Some luck was a factor, to be sure. I’m very happy :) and he seems to be as well.

As straight female, I've considered looking for a straight female life partner. The marriage laws are now in our favor, and there's nothing in the tax code that says I have to be intimate with the person I'm married to. Imagine being married to your best friend. Men are side dishes. The person you explore and learn and grow with is the person you should marry. Sounds like a good arrangement to me.

Can you figure out where he works and send it to HR?

Enough, that is shocking and disgusting! Report him to HR and get that sex offender sacked and hopefully arrested and charged with being a sex pervert.

I can assure you that not all men are like him. I am still single after being divorced 4yrs. I have spent that time in therapy to work on my weaknesses. Now? I am happy! I am a better father and son. I have friends who meet up 3x a week where we cycle golf football and just hang out. I don't drink or smoke which they are understandable.

I'll find my gf when it is time to. I don't worry if i don't. Instead i enjoy my single life! Don't give up hope ok? You will find the man who will sweep you off your feet with a kind gentle romantic funny personality.

OLD with any attachment is draining. Best to have tight filters and then just ignore rest everything as noise.

Better than burning the haystack to find the needle. Make the filters so good that only a needle can pass through.

But dating that specific needle or a couple of those is good fun. If both are looking at it that way.

It’s not even sending pics.. I had a nice convo going with a woman and one question she apparently didn’t like about cooking resulted in a “I don’t plan on cooking for anybody” answer… It’s like for f’sake nobody asked you to!! That was enough for me to end the conversation. This is why single stats are going to continue to rise, people are so uptight about everything.

I threw in the towel at the start of the new year. I’m done.

You could respond with laughter emojiis telling him you do indeed find his anatomy amusing

I'm still trying. I still want to find that special someone. It's not a huge priority, but I'll be working on myself in the meantime.

I am sorry most guys just don't get that women are not as visually stimulated as guys. A guy on average would love a nude. So maybe you dodged a bullet. He sees the world through his eyes not yours

I gave up about a year or so ago. The comments above about dick pics and the gross, too-soon crass sex talk is exactly what sent me over the edge. I love sex with a person that has some level of grace and self respect about it ... but also like other comments, I didn't have the energy to weed through the infantile, fragile, horny dudes. I really don't miss it AT ALL but it doesn't change the fact that I'd still love someone to hang out with and do stuff with. I guess it'll happen eventually.

I'll take a dick pick over the stage 4 clinger I'm dealing with right now. The texts never end. What he's eating, every time he leaves his house, every time he arrives to where he was going, when he gets home... I've known him 3wks. I'm not reporting in every time I leave my house.

I don’t have the energy anymore. The longer I’m single the more I realize I don’t want a relationship. I feel I’ve become too selfish to be in a relationship. I see my friends in relationships and see them going to their partner’s family and work things. I think about having to go to places or events that I wouldn’t be going to but for that person’s own obligation. Kids graduation, grandkids soccer games, babysitting… I have no interest in any of that. I know that doesn’t make me a good candidate for a relationship partner so I’m not going to pursue it or potentially involve someone who doesn’t deserve someone who can’t be all in. That just wouldn’t be fair.

Personally I don't believe a relationship is something that would work for me, companionship is more for me.

I have. Another thing I noticed just how many unfit or overweight men desire to date fit and slim women. Am I the only one who finds this to be somewhat of a double standard?

Read The Selfish Romantic by Michelle Elman. Totally changed how I interact with people for dating and even friends

Most men look like they really didn’t take care of themselves and those who look half decent, been watching Andrew Tate, want a do-over with a 20 year olds which always ends in disaster.

Seriously, you Americans need something like a slow-speed dating?

Everyone is put up in some hotel, interacts over 2-3 days, a few buffet dinners and some games and a party atmosphere? So there is some time to meet multiple people, multiple times, talk casually grabbing a bite, while playing some game and wait for some real spark and interest?

Its the urgency and distance of the apps that makes people go crazy I suspect.

I’ll never give up on love. 💕