Was watching a dating show and one of the contestants shared a moderately intimate detail about themselves and said “wow I just had a panic attack” I’m not always bothered by people using mental illness and disabilities colloquially, but for some reason this one really bugged me. Panic attacks are so incredibly debilitating and really impact people’s ability to live life. It feels so trivializing to call mild anxiety a panic attack. Normally I can kind of write off misuses of terms relating to the deeper aspects of BP but so many people are affected by panic attacks I guess I thought we’d all come farther than that.
Anybody else really bothered by people calling normal levels of anxiety/worry/discomfort a panic attack?
I always gaslight myself into believing I’m one of those people
I’m faking it, I’m not really anxious or having a panic attack
And then I have one and it’s actually the most terrifying thing in the world and everything I’ve learned about deep breathing and counting things just goes straight out the window. I have to call my partner and when he hears me gasping for breath he’ll just start talking about mundane shit for me to focus on and regulate my breathing with his
Shit is not fun
It really does put folks who are legitimately struggling in that position in my experience. Other people say these things like they’re no big deal, but they’re using them as hyperbole. Then when they really happen to us it throws off our barometer for what these words actually mean
And people around you who just use that phrase Willy nilly think that saying stuff like “it’s okay, you’re fine. It’s not that big of a deal” or trying to hug/pat you is gonna help. Like please just get out of my way, I need to go outside or I’m going to die
And then they think you’re over reacting bc they’re girlfriends dads dogs aunt has them and she’s fine after a second even though she’s just feeling the typical spectrum of human emotion so duh being comforted helps her, her brain isn’t violently fighting tooth and nail to ensures she doesn’t live to see next year PLEASE leave me alone and let me go outside!!!!
Sorry, this happened recently to me so I feel feelings
Feel all the feelings. It’s the double sided coin of people learning more about mental health stuff and therapy. Much like how the word gaslight used to be reserved for a very specific behavior now it’s meaningless and people just throw it around when someone does something they don’t like.
I’m like this too, I am a chronic worrier and I know this so I always downplay myself. I had a horrible experience once and was convinced I was having a heart attack and that created panic because I was alone at home and so it just got worse and I called 911 but it turned out to be trapped gas that made its way to my chest, so it was really embarrassing like I just needed to fart and it would go away ever since then I feel like I can’t trust myself to even know what I’m feeling and if it’s even that bad. It was funny to everyone like it is now you can laugh, but in those moments I had true fear and panic.
It's just one of those medical terms that is used very loosely and broadly all the time and sometimes intended to mean kinda spooked. Just like people call themselves "OCD" for basically being tidy lol. As somebody with Actual magical thinking OCD I just find it kinda funny that people spin it to almost be a positive thing.
Fair. I guess it’s just the double edged sword of how mental health awareness has happened. People take the terms but not the actual definitions. That includes therapy buzzwords too
Yeah, that stuff doesn't bother me to much but when people start calling other people bipolar for essentially being moody or difficult, that gets at me.
Yeah normally I can write the misuse of terms off as misunderstanding something complex like BP, BPD, schizophrenia etc. but panic attacks are something so many people experience and they feel like they should be so straightforward to understand and I think that’s why this particular one got me
A double edged sword is a great way to put it. Diagnosis is easier to get now too which is great but so many people sharing online their super broad symptoms or signs and then try to share their experience which is also great but it backfires and usually always creates misinformation/ causes a lot of people to self diagnose which can totally be valid but autism for example, yes it is a spectrum, but in my opinion it’s a spectrum because they haven’t done enough research to differentiate the levels and struggle that comes with having it, also the similarities to trauma response is crazy I think it’s all a part of a big scheme to make it all blend together into one big spectrum so they can just diagnose and medicate us without actually doing any work discovering more useful information or taking each persons case seriously. I have a friend who’s been diagnosed with autism for awhile but after going to therapy a ton, she’s realizing a lot of really bad trauma from her childhood including SA and violence in her home, so now they are trying to sort through that and she doesn’t think it’s the correct diagnosis now. Luckily she has a doctor and therapist willing to do the work to get to the bottom of it so she can feel safe with her diagnosis and can move forward from there. I’d say 95% of doctors just want to do whatever is quick and easy so something with a large spectrum? Easy to stamp on anyone with even the smallest difficult or intriguing symptoms. I love normalizing others and being able to see people proudly be themselves it’s definitely a positive thing too. Awareness is just the first step though I think we all need more education and doctors need to do more research.
Absolutely. And we need to reform our corporate minded healthcare system. Doctors can’t know the full picture of a patient in 15 minutes. Many healthcare workers are leaving the field because the restrictions imposed by shareholders are preventing them from offering actual care
This used to bother me quite a lot but over the years I've come to realise that my experience isn't other people's experience and I can't gatekeep my mental illness.
For instance when it comes to trauma, what is traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for another. Someone may look at you funny for saying that you were traumatized the first time you flew overseas.. but that experience may have actually been deeply traumatic for you and someone belittling your experience and saying it wasn't "true trauma" does nothing to help your situation and start your healing journey.
What I'm saying is that every experience is unique. Some people get extreme anxiety when someone looks them in the eye, or the second they get into a car. You may think this isn't real anxiety but it is to them. Just like your experiences are real for you. You can't gatekeep an emotion just because you feel like you've had it worse. It's not fair to that person's experience of it.
Fair point, but there is a difference between a panic attack and feeling anxious and I think it’s important to name things consistently
Edit to expand my perspective: I guess the use of language to create shared meaning is important to me in all aspects, but when it comes to naming things as important as mental or physical health experiences having shared context through agreed upon definitions is even more important. A spoon is only called a spoon because that is what we’ve all learned and agreed to. If that wasn’t what it was called the sound spoon would be meaningless. Definitions of words are allowed to change of course, but again when it comes to healthcare and mental health it is very important that we have specific, well defined words we can all understand. If we start expanding or changing those definitions too much we risk arriving at a place where they are no longer useful. Feelings are much more fluid, but something like a panic attack is more specific. Someone on a show saying “I’m having a panic attack” while they continue carrying on a conversation calmly laying on a sofa is not something I would call a panic attack and I don’t know that saying it’s not is gatekeeping. I’m not denying they may feel anxious or worried. Look at the word gaslighting in the last few years. It used to be a well defined phrase that was very useful to describe a specific manipulative behavior but now it’s nearly meaningless and just gets thrown around when someone does something a partner doesn’t like.
I agree with you there, I was just trying to present a side you may not have thought of. As it took me a while to come to terms with it myself. I had a rough childhood and everytime someone told me their story, I'd roll my eyes because I thought "you have no idea". Took me a while to really understand that it may have been just as bad for them too, it was just different.
When it comes to things like panic attacks and anxiety, I think a lot of people lump them into the same category because they are used interchangeably in the common vernacular. Everyone experiences some level of anxiety and that feeling of heart racing, sweating, ball in the throat may be misinterpreted as having a panic attack to someone who has never experienced a debilitating panic attack. In a way I think this isn't a bad thing, the terminology is now in the general public at least so ofcourse people are going to misuse the words while they are getting familiar with what they mean. It happens a lot with the English language especially. Think of the word "literally" for instance. How many people misuse this word all the time?
Absolutely. It’s a balancing act of trying to use the right words in order to ensure we’re all talking about the same thing, but also not playing the trauma Olympics like you’re talking about.
100% and I think English is such a complicated language where one word can mean so many different things, that people because confused when they are just having a general conversation. There is so much room for interpretation in everything we say and things get lost in translation a lot of the time. It why poetry and metaphor is so beautiful but also why English speakers tend to be quite sarcastic people too.
True. I think it just makes me sad as the years go by. We’re getting worse at using language as time goes by and we become more and more reliant on technology and education gets worse. Language is so important to me and I have huge affection for the way words allow us to connect and share the incredible world around us. I can’t help but feel like it’s not just evolving the way it has in the past, but literally slipping away. We’re losing our ability to read and critically understand the words in front of us. Literature and poetry is such a meaningful part of the human experience and it makes me so sad that we’re losing it.
I agree but it seems to be how the world is evolving. We live in the digital age now and things are very fast paced and changing rapidly. It's normal to feel like we are losing certain aspects of it. It's also part of getting older too, every generation thinks that the next generation is doing something wrong. Change is the only constant and we have to kind of just be ok with it or get left behind unfortunately.
No. Because it has nothing to do with me, it's not my business, and I have no idea what someone else is experiencing. Let them.
I have had major panic attacks in my life, shaking, crying, convinced im dying, limbs going numb, etc.
I've also had panic last 5 seconds but it is very real and the life drains out of me, then I'm back - and if you looked at me experiencing this, I'd look completely normal.
I roll my eyes when people seem to be claiming things like DID, BPD, psychopathy, etc because the stigma is so negative i wonder why theyd claim it. But that's also not my business. Let them.
I was more bothered by the fact I know someone who had one small panic attack that they went to the GP who threw medication at them. Yet it took me months to get a GP to listen to me lol
You can’t let everything bother you. People are always gonna exaggerate or joke just keep it pushing and give attention to things that matter
No I don’t care because anxiety manifests differently for everyone and their attacks can look like low level anxiety to me
I don't care. Everyone has different limits on what they can handle. I don't want anyone else to experience panic attacks. Last one I had, I couldn't wall without buckling at the knees, hyperventilating, and puking. I don't wish that one anyone. If that person felt like they were having a panic attack, that may have been their limit.
How people experience things and especially trauma but other normal day to day things affects people differently. It’s not my place to judge what they consider anxiety inducing or traumatic or whatever. Just not my place to judge.
I actually don't care. There's a girl where I work and she asked me about some of the symptoms of bipolar and after I explained some she said she thinks she has this too. I just said "maybe. then you should go to a shrink." and then I forgot about it because it doesn't matter. I know what I gotta know and my close ones know. No need for true understanding from people who never saw what it really means.
Agreed, and the way people use these phrases colloquially is just not what leads to stigma. Stigma is communal and institutional and I’d be much more concerned if that same person was having chronic anxiety for the first time and being told not to seek help or trying to seek it but not taken seriously, that or insurance issues, money broadly, et cetera.
Plus, how do we know it’s “just normal.” I don’t know about anyone else here but I’m really good at masking and could be having a dissociative panic episode with my reality dropping through the floor but look absolutely normal to most people until I find the nearest exit to deescalate privately.
PTSD/traumatized are also on that list. These words are so frequently misused, they are losing their meaning to an entire generation. The casual labeling of their inconveniences, or not getting what they want with these terms for likes on social media makes my head hurt.
As someone with both Generalized and Social Anxiety Disorders, this upsets me.
That is understandable, I get that with the word "trigger". Have to remember that everyone is the main character in their own story so as much as we can say "yah right" think about hownit could be real to them and think about how youve been misunderstood. This is not judgment, just what ive used to help myself.
I think some people haven’t experienced what some of us experience and live with daily. But to them that’s the worst they have felt….so they think it’s the same for them as it is us.
And then there are some who make a choice to be an A-hole.
Yes! I'm not discounting their anxiety or what they're feeling as it's all horrible but I once had someone tell me they'd just had a huge panic attack. They'd got tearful for 5 mins and we're still responding to me.
My panic attacks include hyperventilating and the whole world going black around me, violent shaking, panicking that this is the end, wailing when coming out of it and the hyperventilating subsides, then rinsing and repeating a few times over 20-30 minutes. Yes, anxiety and upset are awful. But they are not the same. Thank God for them because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I’m sorry you experience yours that way, as have I. But just because yours can be very explicit, people can and do have very intense panic attacks internally without showing signs to anyone else. This is still discounting.
Fair enough, you have a good point. I didn't mean to discount anyone's experiences, just ignorance on my part then as I, and the people I know who experience them and also in a lesser way, present very differently. I've seen panic attacks in others that have been less extreme and still very clearly a panic or anxiety attack and the occasion I mentioned was very quick and so appeared to me to be an episode of bad anxiety as opposed to a panic attack. Point absolutely taken though!
I definitely am. I recently had to tell my friend of 17 years that I needed to take a break from our friendship because she thought my bipolar disorder diagnosis was so cool that she wanted it too. She'd say she had panic attacks before work, and I'd be like girl. If you were having a panic attack you wouldn't be able to drive the 45 minutes it takes you to get to work. You wouldn't be able to go into that building and be on time. Like, come on.
Another big one she'd use is hypersexual. I'll say she's always had a higher sex drive than most women, but she doesn't sleep around or watch porn or masturbate over and over. Yes I know because these are things we are very open about with one another.
She thought she was hypersexual when she read a raunchy part in a book and wanted sex. That is a normal feeling for almost any human being, that is not being hypersexual.
I'd try explaining to her she's using the buzzwords without really knowing what they mean, and she still wouldn't take the time to actually learn.
It finally felt too degrading and dismissive being around her when I've had to fight tooth and nail for my life and my family. Getting the right meds (still a work in progress). Not yelling at my daughter or husband when hypo. Not throwing things out of anger.
My husband and I have our 7 year wedding anniversary in two weeks and sometimes I really can't believe he stayed with me through the delusions and anger with my onset, which happened when we'd only known each other 6 months. I could go on about BP struggle, but y'all get it.
ETA: This friend broke our friendship off for 4 years when I got married and had my daughter. She did this out of pure jealousy. But I welcomed her back into my life with open arms, and this was after I received my onset and diagnosis, so it was all new to her, and apparently sounds cool. Glad I'm so cool.
Yeah anybody who thinks mental illness is fun and edgy and cool not a genuine struggle is not somebody I can be around
It’s like people getting distracted by something that would distract literally anyone and saying “I’m so adhd”
It does bother me it’s really bad on the internet alone, people sharing things and commenting that they’re OCD or I’ve also even heard specifically like “oh I’m having a manic episode” from someone who definitely doesn’t have them just joking about their behavior as if it’s an excuse and I hate that because I don’t have excuses I have no control over these things. I don’t just act shitty and can call it an episode and be forgiven at any time. But I feel like it’s out of our control. The world at least m country is so worried about politics and blocking misinformation when it comes to that just fully monitoring any political news or whatever but for some reason we’re all allowed to throw around diagnosis and symptoms left and right with nobody monitoring that. We have to just keep learning and keep educating ourselves with legitimate sources and hope others do the same, and try our best to not be bothered when they obviously didn’t take the time to research or consider anyone else’s feelings around them.
Dont even get me started on Depressed or Depression.
This one isn’t fair though because depression is literally a word with a meaning and NT people get depressed. This is distinguished from clinical depression or major depressive disorder.
What do you mean "literally a word with a meaning"? Panick attacks and Anxiety are also words with a meaning.... People get depressed I understand that, though the two terms are thrown around so loosely that if people feel the slightest bit sad they claim they are depressed or have depression.
If someone says “wow I’m feeling I’m really anxious about meeting him” or “I’m really panicking about my presentation!” there is nothing wrong with that. They are just using the actual words with their actual meanings.
OP is saying there is an issue with someone saying “I’m so nervous; I’m having a panic attack!” when they are absolutely having nothing of the like. Panic attack is a specific medical term that shouldn’t get tossed around. Now, if someone was willy-nilly going around saying “I’m seriously sad, like clinically depressed, girlies” that would also be an issue.
Yeah im talking about them willy-nilly folk who be throwing that word around. Not trying to gatekeep being deressed or nothin. Just reffering to exaclty what you said at the end with how somepeople use it.
People really don’t understand how harmful it can be to people with anxiety, or any other disorder like OCD or bipolar that are so “colloquialized”. I will say though, not everyone experiences anxiety in the same way. Personally, I don’t show a lot of outward signs of panic/anxiety even though I have GAD and panic disorder. I internalize very heavily, and look slightly blanked out, meanwhile internally, I feel like my body is shutting down and my nerves are on fire and my brain is going to throw up. I’ve been accused of faking many times. I think it’s more worth it to just be supportive of people experiencing anxiety rather than get offended if they’re faking/exaggerating.
it's the same when ppl are like- omg i'm so bipolar. or every guy on the planet will tell you at least ONE of their exs was bipolar.