Husband obsessed that our 7 months had a neurological issue

Ask for early intervention screening and some therapy for your husband.

Wait for the medical opinion. We aren’t doctors and don’t know the situation.

My baby was vacuum assisted during delivery and 4 weeks premature. From 6-9 months, he also became cranky, hard to entertain, hard to make him laugh, and stopped babbling. He was such a happy, chatty baby so this was strange to me. I brought this up with our doc at his 6 month appointment - she said that baby was probably just busy working on something else, and to keep monitoring for changes.

Thankfully she was right. He must’ve gone through a period of learning and other development (I’m guessing starting solids had something to do with it) and cut his first teeth during this period. Then 9 months he was babbling again, went back to being chatty and happy.

Have you seen a children’s neurologist?

Speculation and turning to doctor Google is so unhelpful and he’s just spiraling. It’s unproductive. Control what you can control. Go to the doctor. Seek additional therapies and OT. What if there is something wrong? Whatever his worst fear is? You still have to take actions to deal with it. It is what it is good or bad - you just show up for your kid and support them. The anxiety that comes along with a baby is a beast - your whole heart is right there in this tiny human. All of us could benefit from therapy truly! Anyways, imo a lot of this sounds normal or just slightly behind. I think you’ll feel relieved after talking with your doctor. FWIW my baby had two bleeds and a skull fracture after a vacuum delivery, torticollis, plagiocephaly, helmet therapy. PT helped him a lot.

So it sounds like he is worried about autism.

7 months is way too early for that diagnosis and honestly a lot of what your describing as far as neediness is very normal.

That being said, the no babbling is concerning.

You already have an appointment with your doctors, which is all you can do right now.

The thing is, and maybe this will help your husband, is that worrying about her diagnosis isn’t going to change anything. You can to meet your kid where they are at and be the best advocate for them as they are.

I've had two torticollis kids and none of them had any cognitive effects. Helmet was necessary for one and not the other. There's a pretty good Torticollis Parents facebook group for support.

Our first had colic as well as torticollis and cranial sacral massage really helped. She got better around 12 months. She had slightly delayed speech but we didn't really know at the time (covid didn't help) but she's fine now. We expect she is neurodiverse but we got her tested when she was 2 and they didn't find anything.

I’m a speech therapist and will say it’s not abnormal for a baby to not be babbling at 8 months. If concerned ask for early intervention screen and speak to a pediatrician about all of the concerns.

My daughter who is now 8.5 months spent the entire month from 7 to 8 blowing raspberries. She didn't really babble. She moved on to screeching. Yesterday I heard a "mum" from her a few times. She also ignores her name like crazy, but she knows it. I do encourage to ask the doctor questions, but some of this seems in line with my baby right now.

Our daughter was the same way. Went through a period where she babbled less, smiled less, responded to her name less, etc. It was definitely a developmental regression as it eventually passed and she is now a happy, normal 3 year old.

Many completely “normal” 7 month olds don’t babble extensively. Babies are all different and take differing developmental paths. Your husband’s paranoia isn’t helping the situation. He should see and speak to someone about it. You guys should also have your baby seen by professionals as much as necessary to ease any of your worries but I don’t really see anything that concerning for a 7 month old here.

This sounds so stressful, and I just want to reassure you that all of this could be perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. It does seem like your husband may be dealing with postpartum depression and/or postpartum anxiety. It isn’t only mums who can have that. It’s hard for dads sometimes to admit, so it’s a positive that he’s recognized he’s feeling some depression. Ask your paediatrician if they have resources for support groups or therapy for your husband. 

I also want to point out that even in the very worst case that all of this means something is not typical with your baby, no amount of stress right now would change anything. You’re doing all the right things, asking the professionals, doing some informing yourselves. But your baby will still be your baby, even if they do need some extra help (which in my opinion none of this sounds abnormal whatsoever, but I’m not a professional).

There are a lot of similarities here with my baby. My baby barely babbled at 7 months and now at 9 months he never stops. He’s also extremely hyperactive and cries a lot and cannot play by himself. But I chalk that up to his intense, spicy personality. He also had torticollis at birth and he is currently in a helmet for plagiocephaly. His head shape has been improving.

Personally I think all of why you’ve mentioned sounds pretty normal for a 7 month old. Some are quieter and quirkier than others. My baby had had ZERO chill since birth and cries way harder and more often than most babies but we’ve just accepted that it’s part of his personality and we have to learn to parent with it not against it.

I'm sure your husband's anxiety and obsessive research aren't really helping to build a lovely bond with your sweet baby. They can feel the distance/judgement/anxiety from a parent for sure.

And let's assume your child does have a different neurotype. It's normal and natural for there to be different brain type variances among humans. We aren't all the same. We don't all learn the same or hit milestones at the same time.

Besides, baby is 7mos. Redirect all of this focus to loving her and ensuring she feels loved and safe and absolutely secure in her home and with both of her parents.

Whatever her neurotype is won't change.

According to the CDC, recognizing her name is a 9 month milestone. Yes, some babies do it earlier than that, but her lack of responsiveness shouldn't be a concern for a while yet.

As others have said, all babies are different. Obviously, it's better to be safe than sorry, so getting concerns checked out is great, if only to spot the spiralling.

My own now 13 mo didn't babble until almost 12 months old, and all of a sudden the babbling exploded and he already has 4 words :) He was working on growing his teeth and learning to walk the paediatrician said :)

I would also tell your husband not to worry about her laughing at the fridge magnets. My first son thought my husband's belt, when he hung it up in the bathroom, was the FUNNIEST. He would sit and stare at it, laughing and babbling, for 15 mins at a time. He's now 8, and has a wonderful sense of humour. Babies are a bunch of weirdos 😆

If your husband wants to be proactive while you go through the investigations, I strongly advise 'house tours'. Have him carry the baby all around the house naming things, and touching things, and showing baby how things work. Take baby outside and touch grass, bark, look at ants, talk about the people you see walking past etc. You might just have a baby (like me) that needs lot of input before they get around to generating output. Babies also need to see your face while you talk, with lots of expression. Hopefully that's already happening and he isn't jumping on his phone to spiral within 5 mins of being with baby. I see that happen too much. The intentional bonding with baby may even help a little with the depressive feelings.

Oh, and, only a few minutes of independent play is also super normal at this age. Even at 1 year, you would expect more than 20 mins at the most before they want your attention. I find I get a better quality of independent play if I get down and play with him for 10 or so mins. Then he will turn away from me and start playing on his own and it's safe for me to go.

Hope this helps a bit. And good luck with your investigations :)

My son stopped making eye contact and didn’t respond to his name around the same age. My husband could make him laugh but I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. He’s fine now at 11 months. I think he was just growing and focused more on his environment.

Like other said seek to a real doctor.

I just want to say that my daughter was passed 1YO when I heard her real laugh. I swear nothing worked. While her cousin laughed at like 3-4 MO.

Also, my daughter was so busy learning gross motor skills that she also didn't make any noises until late. Babies learn one thing at a time.

Again, I'm not a doctor!

staring at fridge magnets and laughing is normal, and blowing raspberries comes before babbling. everything else ask your pediatrician and push for early intervention if necessary

The not babbling, not making eye contact (especially because you say she used to), and not being able to make her laugh (even though she used to) is all concerning for me. I think 7 months is too young for a formal diagnosis, but as the guardian I definitely knew my baby cousin had autism around the same age. I'd talk to your doctor about the next steps. She's so young. Could be a weird phase she'll outgrow. Could be autism. Could be something else. You need professionals. And I'd also recommend your husband sees a therapist himself. He seems shaken up after the trauma you all experienced.

You or your doctor can make a referral to Early Intervention. It will help you figure out if your child needs some therapies and you’ll feel good knowing you are tackling any suspected delays together.

Getting your child seen by the neurologist (which it sounds like you are doing) is the best you can do for your child. And if there is an issue, you’d be amazed at how much of a difference early intervention can make for a child. Best of wishes ❤️

It sounds like you are doing the right thing talking to doctors soon.

In the meantime, try to let your husband know that even if there is something ‘wrong’ with your daughter, it is okay. You will work together to figure out how to best set her up for success.

Her having challenges (if that ends up being the case) obvious isn’t ideal, but it also isn’t horrible. You will figure this out together. Accept her for who she is and meet her where she is at.

My oldest was born with torticollis. He rarely made eye contact before 15 months. He rarely responded to his name before 15 months. He struggled with non verbal gestures like waving and nodding his head yes. No words until 19 months. Didnt say mama until 26 months. Didn’t babble until about 8-9 months (and rarely babbled after that point). He didn’t roll over until 9 months. Skipped crawling. He qualified for early intervention at 8 months old. I was SO worried about autism.

He is 5 now and he is a perfectly normal kid. Academically advanced and socially normal. He may have some underlying anxiety issues though.

There’s no way to know if he would have caught up on his own or if it was because of the interventions. Or a little bit of both. I did so much research on childhood development during that time and spent so much time engaging with him in ways that encouraged his development. If you ask me, I think he’s thriving today because of the interventions.

All this is to say that I wouldn’t freak out just yet but I wouldn’t dismiss your husband’s concerns either!

I’ve been there, probably still am. He’s 12 months now and I have extreme health anxiety regarding his development and milestones. Your husband needs help.

Is your daughter getting physiotherapy? My son’s birth was vacuum assisted and he developed muscle asymmetry perhaps as a result. He looked like a banana all the time and used one side way more than the other. I was terrified that he had CP but 2 months into therapy and he’s almost completely normal. He’s actually better than normal as he’s now 2 months ahead in his physical milestones.

neither you or your husband are experts and parents aren’t always the best at assessing their own children. all of this needs to be discussed with your pediatrician and you should ask for a referral to a specialist. if everything is normal, great. you can carry on. if something does need attention, then you’ll be on the right path to getting it. there’s no harm in asking for an assessment. your husband (and maybe you as well) should look into speaking to a therapist as well. good luck!

Your husband sounds like me an year back! Our daughter had way worse birth than yours and I also did lot of reading. Sleepless nights literally. At around 7 months she was not babbling, not much eye contact or paying attention. But then slowly at 8 she started babbling better and said first ba and baba.

Dissect things one by one and that will help in clarity instead of fear.

1. The lack of babble. : Your baby sounds like 7 month old! Making mmm shount mouth closed is babble in my understanding. There has to be a systematic reason for lack of speech and without any known reason its not a concern. Autism or cerebral palacy are two common conditions that can cause speech issue but it doesnt sound like thats the case. A CP that affects speech will also affect ability to feed and eat. Just as a pointe. I dont think thats the case here.
2. Lack of attention and smile: These are supposed to be symtoms of autism but i think 7 months is too early to diagnose.

In conclusion without any confirmed diagnosis its not worth worrying about. Check for EI and pediatrician help. Be cautious of EI though. Our EI physio was pain to deal with. She would find all sort of issues in daughter none of which neurologist though were abnormal.

In our case after all those sleepless nights I feel much better now. And she is mostly perfect kid without any issue. But I still worry once in a while of few other things that might pop up! Its better not to let those visceral fears not pop up and control the negative emotion. More I peddle or act on negative emotion more stronger those emotions become. Instead just be rational was something that helped me.

Find an infant speech language pathologist. Joint attention and babbling are things they can work on with you

I feel like my baby had a phase or two where he went silent. But we think he was just focused on developing something else at the time. Growth spurts, crawling, eating, hand coordination, something like that. He went back to babbling afterwards. Some of the other thing you mentioned sounded like normal baby behavior, like not being able to play independently for long.

I think getting a medical opinion is a good idea but none of what you are describing sounds particularly abnormal at the moment. Babies develop at different rates and ‘normal’ has a huge range. My eldest didn’t really babble and you had to work hard to make her smile or laugh. We used to call her Judgy Baby because she would just sit and stare at us with no expression. She was also late to roll and I was really worried about her. At about 9 months she figured it all out and started rolling and crawling and making more sounds. She’ll be 4 next month and is an entirely normal child with a great vocabulary and no communication issues.

My daughter was stuck on the inside protuding bumps of my pelvic bones, she was born, I thought my god she looks ugly! Her head was lopsided, large indentations on forehead and back of head from my pelvis, months went by she is now 5 months today and head evened out mostly, and indentations are not so noticeable, she is cute but has horrible colic, indigestion, constantly throes up and the doctors are not concerned, she is a bit a head in physical abilities, but mental abilities I worry, I worry later that the prefrontal cortex was damaged by my pelvic bone and will lead to problems later.. but it's a Waite and see.. just take every day one day at a time, hope for the best but prepare for the worst

Babies not babbling at 7 months is entirely normal. They should be babbling by 10 months (babbling is making consonant sounds like “bababababa”). Is baby cooing? Sometimes as they learn new skills they temporarily lose the old ones.

I could have written this post.. my 7mo baby boy is the exact same.. he has torticollis and is undergoing helmet therapy.. baby isn’t babbling.. well he says “da da” when he whines and screeches and squeals.. he makes eye contact but not much up close and never if you’re holding him.. my baby responds to his name 30% of the time if you’re calling him from a distance.. but he could be just responding to my voice.. my baby is also hyperactive and super fussy.. he just won’t sit still and is trying so hard to crawl.. he also doesn’t react to his image in the mirror.. he’s just so preoccupied and looking around him all the time.. I’m worried too but there’s nothing I can do at the moment as it’s still very early.. I’m going to wait till he’s 9-10 months and then look into early intervention if it’s still a problem then..

My son is neurotypical 3 year old that didn't babble. He had 4 words at 2 and started speech therapy. He's now 3 and has caught up on speech completely, and actually is classed as ahead now.

I also think most 7 months old can't entertain themselves and fixate on things. My older son was obsessed with lights on the ceiling 😅

it doesn't sound like they've missed any milestones at all. Just keep stimulating them and get your husband a therapist. If this is his obsession at 7 months, I dread to think what will happen if he sees a kid learn their numbers before your kid.

Hi, from how you described your husband it sounds like he is fixating and obsessing. Does he have anxiety along with depression? I had all those and a friend of mine suggested I was codependent (having obsessive thoughts around other people and relationships, over focused on outcomes to the point of anxiety and depression.). Eventually, I got help through a support group.

Spouses can join as well. I am happy to send you a link to the support group. There is a recording that newcomer can listen to and see if it resonates with them.

The group is online, free, anonymous, and open to all nationalities around the world.

That goes beyond Reddit capacity

development disorders can be difficult to diagnose in babies as many are behavioural and there is such a large variance of skills and abilities in that young age. Definitely leave it to the professionals.

No one on the Internet will be able to tell you, but my daughter is 13 months and it took a looooong time for her to laugh more. She'd giggle when she was tired and other than that it was hard work to get a smirk out of her. It's become a lot easier the last two months, but she would never smile at a stranger for example. Some kids are just more serious and analytical.

I'm also still not sure she really knows her name or whether she mostly reacts to hearing something said to her....

In any case, I'm pretty sure she is absolutely fine and kids learn different things at different times. Some walk with 9 months, others need 18 months.

I started my daughter in speech therapy because she wasn't babbling at 9 months. She was so quiet. We found out her adenoids were swollen, and she's deaf in one ear. She's 13 months now. She had a babbling explosion at 11 months and started chattering nonstop. At 13 months, she has 7 words.

Your husband definitely sounds like me. I was so stressed. She's our 4th, and the quiet was alarming. I was jumping to worst case scenarios. There are many causes for differences or delays. Definitely talk to the doctor.

My baby has always acted differently than others her age and I was recently told she's a little delayed in some areas and she has some clearly neurodivergent sensory processing issues. They won't label it anything besides that at 1.5 years old, but your brain tends to leap to the worst possible diagnoses.

Having a creeping assumption was one thing, having a doctor conform what I already knew was another, but the "Doom Googling" sent me spiraling. I was inconsolable, I couldn't sleep.

The truth is, she's just too young to know. You can worry and study and call every professional that exists, but they will not make a broad judgement this young. They'll tell you to keep an eye on it, work on certain activities at home, follow up in a few months. You should still tell your pediatrician you're (very) concerned, but that's as far as it'll go and making yourself sick with worry helps no one. 

You guys are wonderful loving parents and you're doing everything you can, but a task that I too need to practice is living in the moment and taking things as they happen. No one is helped by wondering what the worst outcomes could be for hours.

I can't comment on the other stuff as I have no experience, but my now 6mo had great eye contact up until 4mo. Then he became so distracted and wouldn't even glance at me. I became so worried and spent hours googling.

He's 6.5m now and I seem to have his attention back. He rarely babbles, but still coo's and screeches lol.

This is solely anecdotal but I thought I would share because we had a positive outcome. My Step daughter didn’t have a traumatic birth, but she shared a lot of behaviors you have listed here and now she is a perfectly healthy, mostly average six year old. I came into her life when she was 2, but I have seen many videos of the years and months before that. We called her our silent child because she didn’t babble, rarely made any noise at all. She was very still and quiet, stared into space or at objects, and you could sit her somewhere and she would stay there pretty much until an adult intervened. She almost seemed depressed, if that makes sense. She didn’t make eye contact. We were very concerned because she didn’t vocalize much at all, and didn’t start speaking until she was 3.5. She could walk early on but again didn’t really move around much without being prompted. I suspect that she is on the spectrum due to some of these things, and because her father (my husband is) but when she finally started talking she talks, and talks, and talks now all day long. Her speech delay is gone but she does have a speech impediment that we continue to work on. Her eye contact is fine. She loves to socialize with other kids and is a regular rambunctious, loving, learning, interested kid. So I completely understand early development worries (we shared them and it was so difficult) but I just wanted to let you know that sometimes it turns out ok! I second early intervention. SD’s mom refused to cooperate with us on that so she missed a lot of what is available, except for very limited speech therapy, but all this is to say: sometimes it turns out ok! Hoping you get the intervention your child needs and that your husband can be helped through his worries by therapy.

Is baby working on physical milestones right now? Ours stopped being so babbly for 2-ish weeks because she was trying so hard to crawl. Sometimes they focus on other things and completely drop the things they have been doing. Definitely talk to the doc, but teething and crawling and pulling up to stand can definitely halt other developmental things like babbling. Have you checked out Wonder Weeks? They have been a good resource for us and helped to understand timing on fussiness, being more quiet, etc.

Either way, you’re doing all the right things for your little one! It’s so hard this first year because they change SO MUCH from week to week and it’s easy to feel like something is wrong. I’m sure the doctor will help to put your mind at ease, or get you to the right place. Sending positive, babbly vibes for you and your family ❤️

Get child evaluated by your medical providers again and have husband evaluated for postpartum depression/anxiety. Husbands can get it too, and while his concerns may be valid obsessing and ruminating is unhealthy.

Does the Dr think it’s autism?

Rule out all medical causes plus genetic syndromes with testing

Rule out all medical causes plus genetic syndromes with testing