FTM 4mos PP and I can't remember how labour was anymore...

I remember the intensity but not what it felt like. I’ve had both an unmedicated and medicated birth. I’ve asked my mom if she remembers and she had the same response. I do think there is an evolutionary aspect. However pain is really hard to describe and recall. It’s very subjective and our brain does weird things when we try to remember. That’s probably why many of us go on to have more children haha

I have no actual knowledge of this but I reckon for sure it’s gotta be an evolutionary thing. The human race would have died out if we remembered vividly how the labour and birth and even newborn experience was. We would all stop with one baby.

You do remember it as soon as you are in labour with your second and feel the first contraction and you’re like ‘ohhhhhhhhh sh*t’ but by then it’s too late

My husband is still traumatised by my guttural screams and I joke about it. It’s like trying to remember a really drunken time. I’m pretty sure what happened but it’s definitely fuzzy! (I definitely wasn’t drunk in labour).

There are studies on this phenomenon! I think the most recent numbers find that 50% of women have this experience and that a lot of it is tied to how traumatic the birth experience was. More traumatic = sharper recall of pain intensity.

Like someone wringing out your insides. Like the worst period cramps you’ve ever had, times 10000.

I couldn't remember them either... until I had them with my second child and then I was like - OH YES I remember and it all came flooding back 😂

Haha. I feel like I'm on the same boat. As I'm pregnant again and nearing the end where I'll be delivering 2 girls.... I'm trying to remember the pain and all I can remember is being induced at 11am and asking for an epidural at 5pm due to the pain. I remember menstrual cramps but feeling more and more intense... yeah no. I don't remember the pain but I'm Def feeling more anxious remembering the details of my first pregnancy haha.

I’ve done both medicated and unmedicated and I agree for both. I feel like you go into such a primal mindset that there’s no room for your brain to memorize or add the feelings to your memory. Also I think it was designed that way so we’d have more babies 😂

Eta: I did write down both my birth stories but words to describe the feelings were nearly impossible

I just remember the pushing part felt like I was taking a really intense shit lol. I had my epidural before I got the pitocin though (I was also induced) so I didn’t have any bad pain basically at all.

Literally within an hour after birth I turned to my spouse and said “I could do that again” so I think it’s definitely something in our lizard brains 😂

Mine felt like stronger and longer period cramps until later in labor.

Nope you’re not alone. Something in our lizard brain makes us forget otherwise we would not propagate as labor is AWFUL. I have three kids & each one of them had something go wrong that was traumatizing, yet here I am sitting here with my 10 week old thinking I could have a fourth kid.

It’s fucking weird and I don’t get it. Def gotta be a protective mechanism

Same. I just remembered that it sucks and that it was painful.

I had my baby 7 days ago so I remember. lol. For me it was like period cramps but times one billion.

I’m sorry what? It’s been 3 years and I vividly remember and I’ll never forget and I’ll never do it again. Crazy how some people aren’t like that .

I remember!! Count yourself lucky.

I feel like part of it has to be the sleep deprivation making it difficult to form long term memories! If we have a second, I definitely want to write down the birth experience before I forget details though.

I actually do remember how it felt as it was a really specific peculiar feeling (and not like anyone described to me). I also remember theoretically how agonizing it was and how awful I felt. And yet emotionally I don't remember at all because I honestly feel 'yeah I could do that again' despite remembering my first thought upon hearing my son cry being 'thank goodness that's over, I'm never doing it again'.

This is why people have subsequent children, because they don't remember the pain.

Birth is a major bodily trauma and it makes sense that we forget the same way you forget other trauma that happens in your life. It's the body's way of protecting itself.

For me contractions were a combination of period cramp pain and the sensation of someone driving the pointy side of a screw driver into each of my hips at the joint. Pushing felt like taking a big poop.

My labor was in 2020 and I still remember most of it pretty well. I'm not sure if my decision to give birth without an epidural contributed to being able to remember. It's after that my memory gets fuzzy because of all the sleep deprivation.

How else would Mother Nature get us to be fruitful and multiply?? Hahaha

Same. I factually know what happened during both my deliveries, I can recall the thoughts I had about it, but I can't actually remember how it felt. Similarly, I can't remember how it felt being pregnant at all. How heavy my belly was, how hard moving around was, I just don't remember. Hormones have a weird way to make those memories disappear.

Eta: Somehow I do remember vaguely when I experience pain (i.e. I just had a deep tissue massage today and oh boy), my brain just goes to a place of "oof this hurts but not nearly as bad as contractions".

For me it felt like when I got my first IUD placed when they clamp your cervix to keep it straight. It felt exactly like that, right at the cervix. As they got more intense it felt more like that and more at the cervix and less all over my abdomen.

From 0-7cm I just had Braxton hicks type contractions where my whole belly got tight and uncomfortable but never painful.

On a similar note, I’m 23 weeks pregnant and I can’t remember what period cramps are like. Anyone else?

I’m pretty sure your brain often makes you forget so you biologically have more kids

I can’t remember either, after five births… when you’re pregnant again and feel the contractions starting up - then and only then will you remember exactly what they feel like.

Interesting! I remember both of mine, but the 1st was longish bc her head got stuck bc 99th percentile 😵‍💫 they had to use forceps with a crappy local. I can't forget the pain from that one 🫠 no meds bc I'm allergic to the epidural. And progress way too fast to get one anyway!

2nd was precipitous. Barely 4 hours of labor. Once my contractions really started I was only in real labor for maybe 2 hours. Almost had him in the car even though the hospital was 5 min down the road 😅 but I remember the 1 min apart ones for sure. They were painful but manageable.

It's super normal to forget.

I remember very little of the first year of my oldest’s life, and I’m already forgetting most of the newborn era of my youngest (who is still a baby).

I’m very, very grateful I took so many dorky selfie-video diaries, telling future-me about these moments and feelings.

I remember feeling like my whole body was in a state of emergency . I had never felt before like every single cell of body was vibrating in pain. It felt like my entire system was on a looping siren alarm. I kept feeling like I had been hit by a bus or a train. That being said it’s very hard to fully conjure the actual physical sensation in my mind. I feel like I can remember the “outline” of the pain but not the depth of how it truly felt.

I had an epidural but I felt the contractions and pain after my water broke, I didn’t know I could press for a top up.

I honestly can’t remember what they feel like either just that I was in extreme pain and crying for my mom and saying I couldn’t do it lol.

Yeah I can remember but it’s definitely hard to put myself there again physically because I no longer have the giant belly which was a huge part of the discomfort. I just remember it feeling like the worst diarrhea, worst pee, and worst period pains all at the same time.

I remember that I was in the worst pain of my life but can’t recall what that felt like. It’s weird. I’m five months ppl

I remember it. 5 months PP. Felt like really really bad period cramps over a larger area

I’m pretty sure this was covered in one of the books I read about child birth. So many mothers remember it like it was yesterday but Google it. Very interesting subject.

My mom calls it baby brain lol we forget so we do it again 😂😂😂

I read once that a woman’s brain will “forget” the pain of childbirth so that we will do it again. Like primal instinct. And I believe it! I had a horrific and traumatic emergency c-section. I wasn’t myself for months. Eventually I was like…it really wasn’t that bad…I guess I could do it again…

I hear people say this but my brain is the odd man out lol I remember it so vividly. But I also cherish it - I did a lot of work mentally regarding the pain being a GOOD sign of purposeful activity getting my baby out, so I tried to be grateful for each contraction and I know it hurt worse than I could’ve ever imagined but I also really enjoyed it and frequently feel so sad that I’ll ever experience birth again!

I'm quite sure the human race would have died out long ago if it weren't for birthing amnesia 😂

Take two stimulant laxatives and that stomach cramping, sweats and generalized feeling of impeding doom will refresh your memory by the time the first turd hits the bowl

Yep. It do b like that.

I’m 12 weeks pp and being pregnant seems like a fever dream lol I had an elective induction that ended in a c section and lost a lot of blood. I feel like I remember how awful the stay in the hospital was and not even any pain 🙃

I don’t know how that is possible I remeber everything And I seriously consider never having more kids My sons birth was the worst days of my life

I remember it as the feeling that you get with a charley horse only across my abdomen. It was like I had been doing a sit up and all the muscles in my abdomen completely tensed up and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse it did.

That's how nature gets you. It makes you forget so you go...couldn't have been that bad and have more kids. 🤣

I couldn't remember the pain although I remember it being intense. Like the actual feeling is gone but the memory is still there. But I also feel like my labors were easy for the most part. Or at least mt second was. My first I couldn't get an epidural until I was 10cm which they probably shouldn't have given me but no one checked me before hand lol. My second I was like you. The moment I felt a little uncomfortable I was like EPIDURAL PLEASE! Bc I didn't want to risk the same issue happening last time. Which was the anesthesiologist was too busy to get to me.

I remember too much 3 years out, but I also had Pitocin and a very long induction (days) with terrible providers. 

I remember being sweaty and wanting the epideral more then anything.

I remember the recovery more honestly. And the third trimester hip pain.

I learnt in psychology that research indicated that we are likely to remember the peak of the pain and the end result but generally not the blow by blow pain experience. It's most definitely an evolutionary thing that protects the human race because likely if we remembered every second we wouldn't do it again.

Also can’t remember it, since just a couple of weeks after the birth.

Forgot both my labours as soon as they happened 😂 First was a horrible induction turned emergency c-section. The second was a lovely vaginal birth.

If it wasn’t for my husband going over the details with me repeatedly afterwards, I wouldn’t have a clue.

ETA: Had an epidural with the first, gas and air with the second.

May sound weird but..I can still feel the last push when she came out. It was euphoric for me. But I also can’t imagine the pain I felt. I think my husband can remember how much pain I was in more than I can!