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I’d also ask him to take a break from feedbacks all together as you are feedbacked out for the time being for the love of God!
Don't take him aside. Hit reply all and make a fool out of this person as that's what they're trying to do to OP. Cc your boss in as well. He'll soon stop.
I firmly believe that it’s better to do the right thing first. Giving him the feedback in public that feedback should be given in private is not leading by example. Take him aside first and explain the rules, as he clearly doesn’t know them.
He totally sounds like the sort of person who would say “but you just did that!” if the first time you tell him is in public.
They may be starting to feel threatened by you, or think you are worth investing more coaching in without realising how it is being received
Could always ask them in return email why they hadn't already created & shared something with the team using their method if your way wasn't good enough and if they think their idea was better or whatever.
Throw down the gloves, might not make things better for you but might make for some entertainment for the rest of your team (and reddit).
Also the fact you asked for feedback on this occasion you kinda can't really go back with much seeing you actually asked for it. Next time single them out as being the only one you don't want the feedback from.
I’d enjoy working with you
Relationship: We get along well in person, often chatting in the office and occasionally going out for lunch together.
If this is true as you think it is, its easy to confront him in a social setting. More so if its a place you can let loose a bit (after work drinks or whatever).
If its just a him being polite and civil thing, then maybe you dont get along as well as you think
We are certainly not close. I would not consider us friends. We do not socialize outside work hours. My point was more it is not a broken relationship. And I have brought this up in conversations on two separate occasions.
My old boss used to say to me:
“Go and talk to them(the person you’re having issues with) about it and sort it out before coming to me”
“If you’ve tried and they’re still not listening then let me know and I’ll help”
Sage advice but pretty simple really.
The answer to 50% or more of the posts in this sub!
I dunno man, tough to say.
You could do 2 things:
1) Book a 'catchup' with him, and just be honest. I would only do this if the guy has an agreeable attitude though.
2) If he's too difficult, talk to the manager above him. Like don't dob on him and make him out to be the bad guy, just phrase it in a way that his attitude is hindering your ability to get the most out of your work. I've had similar meetings with managers in the past, and they 70% of the time they are already aware of employees being difficult and can at the very least guide you as to how to deal with it.
I hate when colleagues point my mistakes in group chats where manager is in it.
Like message me privately god damn it. You probably give other people that you are a snitch and dimwit.
Tell him once again, that you only appreciate private feedback. Ask him why he kept doing this in email, cc boss. Tell boss beforehand you will involve boss in this convo as it is starting to bother you.
Some people just like to show they are justifying their positions by doing over commenting. I'm senior in the role and when starters and graduates ask for feedback, I'd reply email to them only and provide that or better is to see them face to face.
As others have said, take the colleague aside and ask them for feedback . Then tell them this is how you want to be communicated
Say 'thanks for the feedback', and leave it at that?
Edit: Or, say 'Great idea [name]! Happy for you to adjust it to your needs as required.'
Yeah that would be annoying
What I'd do personally? I'd just ignore their emails with feedback lol. If they mention it later, just say thanks for the suggestion, I think it's OK as is though.
For the small tool one, maybe just say that the problem they want the tool for wasn't really in scope, but they're welcome to build upon what you created
Everyone else is thinking the same thing about this douchebag. If he's your 2IC go to him and say that all feedback needs to be private, and then just ignore it.
I had a similar situation last year. I was working in a team of 3, one was a Solutions Architect and me and this other person did Linux Automation.
At first I got on well with all 3, but friction was starting to happen between the SA and the other guy. The other guy was picking at everything the SA did and tried to get me to do the same, which I did not get involved in. The SA ended up leaving because he had enough, so then it is just me and this other guy.
Things went ok for a few weeks, then he started to pick away at my work. I attempted to have a few chats to him to try and resolve the issue but without going into too many details, we had a blow out that got a bit personal. I contacted our manager and said that I couldn't work with this person anymore and that they need to step into the situation or HR may get involved. It was at the point that I was ready to walk away, the stress caused by this guy, he went over the line.
We both still work at the same place, but I have been moved to another project and I don't have to deal with this person anymore. He works by himself now.
So I would suggest, try to talk to the person, maybe even with a mediator or 3rd party present, but if that fails you will have to make a decision either start looking for a new role or ask your manager/HR to step in.
Sounds like he likes to show-off his skills/knowledge and the public criticism is a channel for him. This means he's a jerk so no point for you to waste time and talk to him about it. Get your Manager/Lead to talk to him about his public criticism of others work. Feedback is providing a reason and alt path to the current path.
I asked ChatGPT “how do you professionally tell someone to back the **** off”. These are the responses lol
- "I appreciate your interest, but I need some space to handle this on my own."
- "Thank you for your concern, but I need to focus on my tasks without additional input at the moment."
- "I understand your intention to help, but I need to manage this independently."
- "I appreciate your support, but I would prefer to work through this without outside assistance."
- "Thank you, but I am confident in my ability to handle this and would appreciate some space."
TLDR; OP has a colleague who gives unwarranted feedback in public.
My suggestion: OP, take him aside, give him the feedback that feedback is best given in private.
If he insists on continuing to give feedback in public, tell him in public that you’ve asked him not to do that and see how he feels.