I’m really needing help on this because my gf told me she doesn’t think she’s like other girls and i said you are literally the same and i asked for some reasons on why she thinks this and she told me because she’s funny and isn’t a freak. I don’t think that’s applicable though. can somebody help?
do girls that say “i’m different to other girls” think they’re better than other girls?
Welcome to the r/notliketheothergirls mindset.
Yep, it’s incredibly common- so much so it’s a meme.
okay thank you so much
thank u for sharing that subreddid😂😂
I agree that the pick me girl mindset is toxic and generally inaccurate however your comments below this post imply to me you don’t think of your girlfriend very highly.
You describe her as basic and the same as every other girl. No woman wants to be described that way by their partner (even if it’s accurate) we all want to feel unique and special.
Your gf sucks for putting down other women, but you kinda suck for putting down her.
Isn't he just giving an honest answer to a question she asked ?
I don’t think it should be your honest answer, I mean I like my wife more then other girls and I do see her as unique. I don’t think I’d want to be with her if she did not stand out to me in anyway
He says if the post that she told him she wasn’t like other girls, not that she asked him, so - no.
Lmao yes, this girl sounds incredibly insecure and I think I can guess at least one reason why!
This right here
Luckily, he describes her to us, not to her directly. Possibly he says she is special to her, but to us he feels safe to say the truth
internalized misogyny.
Used to be like this. Then I realized that I am not “different” or “better” than any girls just because I think Ugg boots are ugly and I don’t like pumpkin Spice lattes.
I realized it only made ME the asshole. A friend of mine sent me a “live, laugh, love” meme and I snapped back with, “looks like how your girlfriend would decorate the house lol. She’s basic.”
He ended the friendship over this and I went to therapy. We still aren’t friends anymore and I respect his decision to choose his girlfriend over my mean-hearted “joke”.
Pumpkin spice is overrated
I agree. But I am just saying that being the “I’m different than other girls” person just made me an asshole.
As a man, it’s disgusting. Does that make me basic too? Haha
Had a couple of girls shout at me saying don’t compare me to your exes with the undertone that they are better…ended up being worse than my exes each and every time. This is not a generalization, just what happened to me
But why did you try to compare them to your exes? Everyone would be mad if you did that
Definitely doesn’t feel good to be compared to others. And I’m honestly surprised there wasn’t more backlash from OP saying “you are literally the same”
Never compared them. I am of the opinion that prior baggage should be left in the past. These arguments typically took place because I caught them chatting with others or called them out for lying
If you dated them, they'd say the exact same thing to you. Basically, you don't compare them, they're comparing themselves and projecting that insecurity onto you.
that happened to me aswell and she is turning out to be quite like them too
I guess that is life. I guess it says more about who we attract than anything else
Yes they do…
I don’t think I’m better in general per se, but I am definitely pretty different, least I think so. I’m also gonna be doubting myself all day cause of this post 😂
Being different and saying "I'm different from other girls" are very different things. It also implies other thiings to just say you're different from most people/don't fit into the norm, vs specifically saying you're "different than other girls", if that makes sense.
yup. unfortunately misogyny is a cruel thing and also taught to women.
try to google 'pick me girl' (but skip the right wing weirdos)...try Jordan Theresa for example on yt on that topic.
Yep possibly. They prolly think they’re different and superior because they’re not “mainstream”. Had this phase during my pre-teen years where I’d constantly compare myself to others so I kinda have an idea about it
Short answer yes.... why.... because she doesn't have many female friends and thinks she's one of the boys.
That's something people struggling with mental health problems say. Every girl is an individual and different from the next. It's a defensive mechanism
Unfortunately your GF has main character syndrome. I hope she gets better soon.
Your girlfriend is going through a pick-me phase. Telling her that she IS the same as everyone else isn't very nice, but she definitely thinks she's above other girls. Generally the people that say how different they are are the ones that are aggressively normal and average.
You're overthinking this.
Society says "girls are _____" (at least in her mind).
Your GF doesn't relate to that.
Simple as that.
It could be "sugar and spice and everything nice". She could be more tom-boyish. It could be "princesess", or "needing a man".
Maybe she has some mean-girl friends and she dislikes that catty characteristic of young women.
I'd try to avoid obsessing about it. If it's bothering you, ask her more about it. Ask her "what are other girls like that you're different from"...figure out how to whittle around that question until you get an answer that makes sense to you.
Very close. Society says, “girls are _____, and that is bad.” And the gf doesn’t relate to that behavior, for somewhat obvious reasons.
It’s generally not some neutral thing they are rejecting. It’s almost always something society denigrates women over because it’s a womanly preoccupation and, definitionally, those pursuits are vapid and worthless.
She’s not picking attributes at random that she doesn’t relate to. She’s choosing those that are looked down upon and rejecting them in order to appear more attractive.
It’s nothing to blame her for. It’s a fairly predictable strategy in a society that in large part diminishes activities or behaviors that are traditionally pursued or manifested by women. That doesn’t make it any less harmful for her to internalize the conception of those behaviors as negative and to judge other women (and herself) for them.
It seems to me like the gender norms for women have changed. I literally haven’t met an young (18-25) American woman that wants to have kids and be a homemaker. I’ve met immigrant women or first gen immigrant women that were interested in that, but they haven’t been fully indoctrinated into American culture.
When girls say they are "different" from other girls, they mainly mean that they have interests that are stereotypically for boys/men(like video games or sports), or that there is a stereotypically feminine hobby or interest they are not interested in at all (like fashion or makeup)
Actually there are probably several.
She might think she's better or that she judges herself on having different values to others. However, if she really says this excessively then it's probably the opposite, it's the sort of thing someone else would say about a person if it was true but when people self proclaim it's usually not the case.
If you two are under 15 thats normal but if you are older that could become problematic thinking.
She sounds lovely ☠️
No but they do: -drive a jeep or a pickup -wear cowboy boots for no reason -have a poorly trained dog they take everywhere -pretend they fish -pretend they hunt
*this was written in satire to poop on your local "pick me" girl. If you are offended, you're either her or you're dating her. Bye.
No sometimes they feel more insecure.
They can neutralize industrial grade acid with their basicity
her: im unique and special
you: nah, i'd fuck pretty much any girl in your weight class
...thats what you did.
Hey, I’m different to other girls… I’m a guy.
I say it because it's a fact. In my culture (though the younger part of my gen and zoomers are rejecting it), women are pressured to be as feminine as possible. I was the only one in my class who liked metal, unisex and video games. I don't feel superior to others in any way, shape or form
Short answer, yes. But almost everyone thinks they are better than ordinary.
One of my favorite surveys showed that people in general thought about 60% of people will go to heaven. And almost everyone, when asked in the same survey, said they were going to heaven.
Other surveys show 80% + of people think they are better than average at driving. Similar results exist for intelligence, looks, and just about anything else you can think of.
People in general just think they are better than everyone else. This is not unique to young girls. It's universal.
Who cares?
They're either ignorant, lying or prideful.
There is no scenario they come out good saying that.
When a girl says she isn't like other girls, they are exactly like others girls cause they all say it. The ones who are actually different don't say it.
YES
Yeah they have bigger ass
Internalised sexism and immaturity causes this kind of mindset. If the person is lucky enough to become self aware enough, they will realise how wrong they were. They will also realise the beauty and nuance of other women around them. Sure there are many men and women that can be quite cookie cutter, I guess. But a lot of people really aren't. I think trying to have a conversation with her where you remain curious and inquisitive about her mindset might help her process why she herself thinks this way .
"I'm different to other girls."
"Oh right. So like you don't listen to taylor swift or...."
"No I mean I'm a murderer." pulls out knife
this one made me laugh
I can guaruntee you she is like other girls. Some other girls at least. Statements like this assume everyone’s the same or some shit.
Ask her what she means, only her knows the answer
Internalized misogyny - so yes, they think being a typical girl is bad. It's really sad imo
"I'm different from other girls"... literally every single fucking girl I have ever met my whole life
Moderator removed comment
1mo
she doesn’t have her own style she’s basic
Lovely thing to say about your girlfriend.
i didn’t mean to be rude or nun but it’s the truth she wears the same clothes and everything and says she’s different
If she is a carbon copy of other girls, why do you like her?
She’s obviously not a carbon copy, but humans are incredibly similar.
Yes they do
Its like a meme that girls saying "Im different to other girls", and is just a joke. SHe might think she is not like the other girls, but she is wrong.. because she is the only one who has you as her bf :)
A lot of the time, yes. I misunderstood this for a long time.
I think different too, but not necessarily better. I don't know what's your gf case.
"I'm different than the other girls" speeds up ramp does 360° spin and a wheelie in her wheelchair. Freakin bad ass, bitch. Let me color some flames on the wheels on that hotrod.
I’m gonna guess most of the time yes. It’s a way to protect the fragile ego from those insecurities of not feeling good enough. Men do it too, in different ways. But personally, when I say “I’m not like other guys” I mean it in the sense that I am not a hard ass, assertive, “don’t tell me what to do” type. This doesn’t mean I’m “better.” To me it just means we go about things differently, with each method having pros and cons. To take this further, Every “method” is either compatible or non-compatible with another “method” and so there is no such thing as “not good enough” for someone, but rather “not the right fit” for that individual.
Introspection is messy work, but I think it could benefit a lot of people with insecurities. Carl Jung’s work regarding the internal family structure and shadow work are good research points to start.
P.S. do not tell her this directly using “you” language.(ex. “I think you should ____.) as this can seem like an attack.
I rather say that I am an outlier. But yeah, I think I am so different to other girls not because I think I am better than them, it’s just I am not like most of them at all. Yeah, I’m a freak and weird. My girl friends always give comments about me and my singular taste.
If a girl thinks that they’re funny and not a freak, so they actually normal and just like many other girls. Unless they like talking to trees or talking alone, not doing the eyelashes, the nails, the hair, etc etc, always be alone, doesn’t socialize, and have a weird sense of humor, so this kinda girl is the real different to other girls.
Yes
Pretty sure they do, yeah.
I mean, if she's funny then she's not lying.
🗿
If you can't talk with her about this in a normal manner, something's off
I don’t necessarily think that they think they’re “better” it’s an easy way for females to peacock. It’s stupid but it’s probably what she feels necessary to differentiate herself from the others.
In a high paced society, we have to make impressions quickly so just allowing someone time to see them as unique feels daunting.
“I wish I had a nice camera so I could take good pictures of the moon”. - almost every girls I’ve ever met. After all these years I still dont know is why either.
Based on how I’ve experienced it, I’ve always kinda viewed it as a better than thou attitude as a way to mask insecurity, almost like a jealousy thing? Not sure if that makes sense or if anyone else relates
Yes, you got it right. It's basically internalised misogyny.
Ehhhhh.... for the most part. Sometimes the person saying it could mean it in the "i really hate that i'm not like other girls" kind of way. Or just that they don't share the interests or mindsets most other girls have. But mostly it is just an insecure or attention seeking girl trying to raise her statud by lowering others value. They usually have a negative internalization of what it means to be a "girl". That is this case definitely, as your gf stated "because im funny and not a freak" Implying other girls are humorless and freaks.... she has a very negative opinion of women and femininity.
All girls are different from each other.
But she’s implying other girls are freaks. She should elaborate on this, share some stories on why “freak” came to her mind?
i’m not really sure why she said freak and i don’t think i’ll ask about the freak bit
To me, girls that are "different to other girls" don't care about make up and they play video games because they enjoy them, not because of the attention they'll get. That's just my perspective.
Yes. Most women believe they are 'the one'. It's actually normal and necessary.
It’s internalized sexism/misogyny.
Instead of advocating for all women by correcting stereotypes about what girls/women are like, it’s a mindset of “yeah, girls are lame, dramatic etc, but I’m the exception cause I’m not like them, I’m more like boys.”
I think it’s a mindset a lot of girls/women go through at some point, I was like that when I was younger too. Then I realized being “one of the boys” doesn’t make you immune to misogyny and other girls/women are awesome and not what stereotypes suggest.
Your gf is probably unaware that it’s a sexist attitude, and may not mean it maliciously, but it would be a good idea to point some of this out to her.
I'm not like other girls either!!! Allow me explain: for STARTERS I'm strong, witty, intelligent, kind, and caring. A bit on the anti social side, but I also won't take any SHIT from anybody either. I have one great personality, non drinker, but I do love the green stuff (Yep. Weed.. and your money.) I enjoy surfing nude, cooking nude, watching TV nude, playing Diablo IV nude. Sleeping nude, you get the idea. 😉 ALSO I have testicles, a penis, and a beard. So take that, bitches!
The girlfriend says, "they're not like other girls," grow up to think they're "mom of the year" on Facebook. Lmao! Proof: my gold digging neighbor's two illegitimate kids are being raised by two gay men! Father and husband.
lol we are ALL different when it comes to our character. And, we are all the same on the physical front aka we have uteruses and boobs. She isn’t wrong, nor are you. You are just referring to different things.
Yea
I knew a girl that was really different than other girls. Often it's just a phase
For my meaning is I’m a complicated person so be careful my attitude is depending by who u are you
I've always said I'm not a normal female because I'm not. Not because I'm better than them, I'm just me!! I'm unique, don't go by the typical female model and my husband loves me for it. I'm not pathetic, I'm not a typical female driver and I'm not a normal female who shys away from man banter - I join in lol.
Depends how they mean it I guess.
fair enough ig
Better... is too wide of a meaning.
Like, yeah, I am different, and I am better at e.g. thinking efficiently than quite a few women I met so far. I keep dead animals at home. With pride.
But at the same time they are unarguably better at other stuff, like sports, playing instruments, socializing, such stuff.
There certainly are women who think they are "better at everything" but that is not the general opinion of "girls" who say that. For most it's just the exact meaning of the word: Different.
Why exactly are you keeping dead animals in your home, and why are you proud of it? Being different is generally good, but that does not sound like the "good" type of different from the way you worded this lol.
Basically to remind me that humans die too and how big the world actually is. So it's no use to get angry with them or to hide your real self, in a few hundred years all that's left is a name in the cities record and nothing more.
You keep rotting animal corpses in your home to remind yourself that people die too? Or do you mean you collect bones? The latter would be dramatically less unhinged
Well, I think I forgot a slab of ham in the fridge but other than that I do collect mostly bones, yes.
There's a stuffed bird which is kinda like my "guardian" if you will, he is a family heirloom, and stuff like shedded snake skin, dragonfly wings and egg shells.
Plus - I actually forgot about that so I might seem "unhinged" to you now - two small vials with calamari parts in alcohol which I got at school. I have to mention though, prepping them was part of my lab-training so I keep them as a reminder of that.
None of that is nearly as weird as having carcasses just laying around in your apartment. I'm relieved 😂
Nah. Theres just alot of jealousy from women
Only if she let you c*m inside
get out here gng
She is a pick me
2 missing replies
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
When posting and commenting.
Especially remember Rule 1:
Be polite and civil.You will be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.