My partner and I have been together for three years, and we recently welcomed our daughter in February. She’s the light of my life, but our financial situation is a dark cloud over us right now.
The Background:
My partner went through a rough divorce three years ago, ending up with a house and $80,000 in unsecured debt. Fast forward to now, with the added costs from our daughter’s birth and my partner being on unpaid maternity leave, our finances are in a critical state. She’s enrolled in a debt consolidation plan, paying $1,000 a month for the next three years. With daycare costs and all other bills, it feels like we’re drowning. Before we got together, I was saving over $1,000 a month. Now, I have barely $50 in savings. Every dime I earn goes into keeping our household afloat.
The Dilemma:
I’ve been pushing for bankruptcy as a potential solution. I even spoke with an attorney who confirmed that my partner is a good candidate for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which would wipe out most of her debts (except the car and student loans). This would free up about $22,000 over the next two years, money we desperately need. But my partner is very hesitant. She doesn’t even want to meet with a bankruptcy attorney to discuss it. I’ve scheduled three consultations, and while she agreed to go, I’m not confident she’ll actually show up.
Recent Developments:
We did meet with one attorney, but my partner remains against Chapter 7 bankruptcy because she found information online suggesting she "wouldn't be able to have a bank account." I looked at her research, and it was the first thing Google AI generated. It actually said it could happen, not that it would. I asked her to talk to her parents or a friend who filed Chapter 7 for reference, but she said she isn't ready yet.
My Concerns:
I’m exhausted from covering all the bills, including her debt from a previous marriage. I feel like I’m giving everything I have to support our family, but without her cooperation, I’m not sure how long I can keep this up. She feels jaded because she sold her house to use as a down payment on this one because I told her I wouldn't move into the home she bought with her ex. She wanted to speed things up because she is getting older.
My Questions:
- Am I being too pushy by insisting on bankruptcy?
- Am I wrong for telling her last month's debt payment is the last from me?
- What should I do if she ultimately refuses to meet with an attorney?
I don’t want to push her, but I also don’t want to continue paying for her previous marriage’s debt. I’d rather that money go toward building our family’s future.
TL;DR: My partner has $75,000 in debt from a previous marriage and is on unpaid maternity leave after the birth of our daughter. I'm covering all bills, including $1,000/month in her debt payments. I’ve suggested bankruptcy to free up money, but she refuses to discuss it with an attorney. Am I being too pushy, or is she being unreasonable? What should I do if she won’t meet with an attorney?