DAE go through phases where they start to feel like they just imagined their assault? I’ve been in therapy for 15 years, processed all my shit and still have random moments of “wait… did this even happen to me?”. I was molested by my teenage neighbor from age 6-8. I feel like I’ve worked through this in therapy and understand the concept of prolonged self preservation (locking the incident up for decades in order to go on with life) and it’s long term psychological impact, but sometimes it makes me feel completely insane that I have to question my own experiences. Sometimes I even catch myself saying “Well he was only a kid, too (16) so maybe he was just curious.” How disgusting is that?
When I tried to seek help from my Mom when I was 16, I was brushed off. Told that it probably wasn’t what I thought because “I was just a little kid”. When I tried to explain my experience to my dad via a very long and raw email, I was ignored. We never even addressed it. That was 6 years ago.
I’ve always struggled with trusting my own reality, it’s been a root cause of a lot of my anxiety for years. I feel like I’m in the best place I’ve ever been, but still get these little shades of doubt and it makes me dissociate and feel depressed. Not really looking for advice, just curious to hear if anyone else has this experience.