I'm fortunate enough to have a supportive family and partner as well as a full time job. But I'm in my mid thirties and I rely on my loved ones so heavily and I feel like I'm just barely scraping by. Getting diagnosed and medicated has been helpful but not nearly as much as I hoped it would be. I feel like I've simplified my life as much as I possibly can but I'm still so burned out. I'm frequently dissociated at work bc of the stress and I worry about being functional enough to get by in life
Is anyone else afraid of becoming homeless as a result of their executive dysfunction?
General Question/DiscussionYes! Living is expensive.
in this economy, yes
Yup. Every month I worry about rent and bills, every time my landlord texts I think he's going to evict us for being too messy somehow, every time my manager calls me I assume I'm getting fired (I've been in this job for eight years). I tell my wife that we're going to go live in my parents' basement when things eventually fall apart.
Can you automate/autopay your bills (including rent)?
I do have most of them automated, yes! It's more that I stress about whether there will be sufficient money in the account to pay for them. Even when we're actually going ok, which is how I know it's just the anxiety talking.
I recommend budgeting so you know that there’s enough! I have been using YNAB for a very long time and highly recommend it.
Thanks, I'll check it out!
I've felt this.
This is anxiety, which is part and parcel of ADHD. This doesn't mean your worries aren't real, just that the degree of fear is enlarged.
Tell your therapist or med manager. 💐
I was homeless (in my car) and it was rough. Trying to find showers, water, keeping food cold in my cooler, and finding places to park were all difficult.
Edit
I forgot to put in my comment that my impaired executive function got in the way of all of those tasks. I'm having an off day.
I’m so sorry. I hope you’ve found a shelter that helped you get out of that situation.😢💔❤️🩹
I have a house now! I'm on a good place.
That makes my heart SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I pray for ALL of God’s Blessings that He Can Ever Give you, danidandeliger!!!🥰😍🩷🩷🩷🕊️
Yea, my husband is disabled and is having a hard time finding work. I am the sole breadwinner and it’s terrifying.
This is why I will cling to my rent-stabilized apartment until the day I die. 🥲
I live in a cheap, small studio and at this rate I’m going to pass away in here lol.
I’m in a cheap cooperative condo and feel like I can’t ever leave. It would be at least 3x what I’m paying now anywhere else, and that’s lowballing it.
Oh man, I have a nagging fear if my husband ever drops dead, me and my kid are fucked. I never used to be this bad either, I used to be able to hold down a job, even if I did job hop every couple years. But after pregnancy, my symptoms are literally impossible to overcome some days.
He and I are working towards a healthier us so that fear is being abated slowly, thankfully.
I too, used to be better at holding a job even while also job hopping every couple years.....only thing is mine changed due to depression:/ and since then.....yes, I've unfortunately been homeless a few times. Friends try to help, they even say it's my processing/executive dysfunction (and some have ADHD and most others know about it), but i can't help but stay in that blame cycle. I used to also be good at bouncing back from a depression episode.....oh well, I'm still alive, I'll figure it out again eventually I suppose.
I wish you and yours luck with your journey💖
Apply for disability if you are having these kinds of problems. My story is very similar.
Speaking as a prior disability case manager, gov't + insurance will typically deny disability if it's solely ADHD, claiming that they have been able to function their whole life prior to having ADHD (their words, not mine). If there are other commonly recognized diagnoses (like GAD or MDD), with substantial evidence of total disability, and ongoing / change in treatment, they will be more likely to be approved.
Hope this helps!
That makes sense then why they probably denied my mom. I think it wasn't too long after I was diagnosed (around age 10 I think). But when I applied, I think maybe it was too soon. I wonder if I applied now what would happen? Longer history of trying things and on and off working(minus gig work) and homelessness.
It would all depend on your diagnosis, treatment methods, symptoms and function. Being homeless is definitely a flag for me as a case manager, however they still look at your function (ie: are you capable of executive function? Can you perform ADLs, such as showering, clothing, establishing a routine?) They also compare your current restrictions to your prior job demands solely. If it doesn’t match up, then you’re likely approved. However if it’s govt and you’re unemployed, to apply for disability there are more hoops to jump through, however with that being said if you’re not capable of functioning and you can provide concrete, objective examples, it’s worth a shot. Keep in mind you will need to continually provide updated medical information, which can cost a lot of money, depending on your doctor’s charges.
I've thought about it tbh. I did try, even with an advocate that strictly works with the SSA when it was at its worst(depression), but didn't get through. Idk if that would be considered the 2 of 3 times one usually has to apply, because my mom applied for me when I was a kid, and got denied, but a child at the home daycare I was at applied once and got it. Ugh. But currently doing food delivery full time and slow steps towards healthier living so hoping by the end of the year I'll be in a better place.
Get a disability lawyer. They take few fee from what you are paid. They have better results and get all your medical records and paperwork which is hard to do when depressed.
That's a good idea, thanks! It really is, like, I've also moved a bunch(in addition to the homelessness) moved states and such. That's a bit daunting thinking of all the places I've gone for healthcare😳
It's SUPER common to be rejected outright at first, and to have to challenge the rejection.
Most people don't challenge it, so it's an effective barrier to gaining disability. =/
It's so ridiculous tbh:/
Wait, were you able to get disability because of your ADHD?
Depression and anxiety. Just found out about adhd
Thank you for the info!
You might consider taking out a term life insurance policy for 10-20x his annual take home pay if you don’t have one already. It’s cheap. It’s wonderful that you’re working on executive functioning but having a safety net would make everything easier if the worst happens, especially since we know ADHD symptoms for women worsen with age (apparently menopause is awful).
I feel like my pregnancy amplified my symptoms, possibly because of all the changing hormones and other natural chemicals, and then the drugs and hormones given to me during the process of giving birth. I've not heard many other women bring this up so I'm not sure it's a thing. But you think so, too?
Menopause is also a time they say women have more difficulties with their ADHD. Such experiences to look forward to!/s
Having a child definitely amplified my symptoms. I was actually able to function enough without medication until I had a child.
I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy itself, or the constant sleep deprivation for years on end. But it definitely got worse through the pregnancy, and has continued getting worst PP.
I have a dr appointment on Tuesday to get a referral for testing. So the ball has started rolling at least.
Getting the ball rolling is often the hardest part for us! Good for you for getting started.
Not sure how long you’ve not been pregnant now, but babies basically steal your omega3 reserve for their brain development, so besides having a kid being more strain on what your executive functioning can handle, your neurons might also just have a harder time talking to each other. If you’re not doing it already, you might want to consider taking an omega 3 supplement (I do the algae version) to help out your brain.
I've been on Omegas for a long time. As I said in another comment, I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy itself, or the constant sleep deprivation I've had to deal with. She's 2 now, but my symptoms keep getting worse. Some days it is just not manageable anymore. I'm working on getting a diagnosis now, and hopefully medication eventually. I just need help like I've never needed it before.
Oh I feel you! I also got formally diagnosed when mine was almost 3. Meds (in addition to the therapy I’d already done) made a world of difference. Hang in there!
You and probably millions of women, sadly. It’s completely understandable. There has to be a better way, but without a socialism that puts the top government elites in charge of every single dollar and where every single decision would be made for citizens by the elite billionaires at the very top in government. You know, how every other attempt at socialism has gone. It has always failed to lift the citizens up, in every country it’s been implemented in. It’s perplexing for sure.
You're describing capitalism not socialism lol
That's not socialism but that is how most countries are run
I have been homeless due to being unable to open & read any letters & tucking myself up in bed & literally hibernating. I was seriously mentally ill, & had a breakdown. All my stuff got left behind & car taken away. I’d been divorced, had a sudden subsequent break up & was getting bullied at work. In the end I just froze for months & my daughters had to go to live with their dad as I couldn’t take them to school. I wouldn’t eat. This was 2011, & it’s taken me all these years to become stable & happy again. I am able to open post but I still get a knot in my stomach.
Are you me? I went through something very, very similar. I’m proud of you!
Know neither of you are alone either, I went through something very similar as well. I’m now remarried and have another child and have just added an adhd diagnosis to my plate of MH dx so I’m hopeful with medication soon, I’ll be able to ensure it never happens again. But, it’s always my biggest fear no doubt.
This is sort of happening to me right now but in my early Twenties
Damn that is a struggle. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
I just opened a bunch of mail from the last few months. Painful.
Yes
Constantly
My kids are the biggest reason that I make ends meet even though I am dying inside.
I can’t keep a job for more than 2 whole years
If it were only me, I’d probably be living in a van down by the river lol
Been homeless a few times and I'm terrified of it happening again. My husband is disabled and unable to work so I'm the main income but at least he gets disability and insurance from the VA since he's a veteran. I'm also lucky enough to have a job that allows me to take time for myself when I get overwhelmed and I think that's really the only thing holding me together.
If I'm not careful I know it will be in my future. Rock and a hard place. Toxic family or homelessness, and sometimes I romanticize street living yes I'd be cold but maybe I would be happier.
Relatable
Terrified of it. I’m a single mom with two small kiddos and we live with my mom. She also has adhd and we prop each other up in a symbiotic way. But I don’t think I could make it on my own if I ever needed to and that terrifies me.
My executive function is by far one of my most severe symptoms and it is bad. I’m just starting medication but like you it’s not taking me as far as I’d hoped. Still tweaking though, so maybe I’ll get lucky. In the mean time, I don’t think I could stand on my own two feet in this world.
This is me. Single mom with two kids, living with my parents. I keep telling myself that it’s time to move back out but I am TERRIFIED I am going to end up fucking up and ending up right back here… it feels safer to just stay since we’re welcome than to move out and be the screw up moving in again
Many generations of humans have lived in multi-generational housing situations. The idea of independent family units is pretty new, sociologically speaking. If living with family works for you then do it!
I live in a small town with a large income stratification. Many households here have three generations living together and I kinda love to see it.
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I hadn’t even read your reply, and I was saying pretty much the same thing! I give you all the credit for sharing this information first!🥰😍🩷🩷🩷
I’m not completely sure, but I have heard that most societies have lived in multi-generational housing, throughout history. And even today in some countries. It makes sense to me. If you get along with your parents so well, that is a huge Blessing! Who else would you rather live with, right? Blessings!🥰😍🩷🩷🩷
Yes. Even though I’m in a very good financial position and with a good partner, I worry one day I’ll stop being able to do even the bare minimum which will trigger a downward slide.
Yes. 100% yes.
Yeah :/
Yep, that's why when I bought a car I got something that wouldn't be hell to live out of if worse came to worse. I basically was living out of a car/camping for a few months and was without housing or money (long story) so when I was buying a car I would look up people using them for car camping or living out of. I know it's ridiculous but it was my "if all else fails" plan.
one of my friends is literally homeless rn bc of her unmanaged adhd. she can't get anything in her life together, esp not her finances. it's heartbreaking, but she just cannot seem to light a fire under her own butt even when faced w homelessness :( she also has been dealing w grief & depression from a close family member passing away, but she was like this way, way before this happened. she had a lot of opportunities to fix things & she just... couldn't control her impulses or get organized. it's heartbreaking and idk how to help her :/
If I'm ever homeless it will be because of capitalism not ADHD.
It's my biggest fear.
I totally get why communal living is attractive. I’m either all in on the wilderness or I need help. There’s no ability to keep up with all of the things. I can’t be convinced we couldn’t do without half of it.
Not anymore! I became homeless in September of last year, so I don't have to be afraid of it anymore, lol. But yes, it was a constant fear before, and I have no real path to get out of it at the moment. I'm grateful I've got a car that's well-suited to living in it and enough of a disability check to keep gas and insurance for it.
I was homeless for years . . Finally not . I kept my last job for almost two years but wanted to quit for the past one but didn't , bc you're "supposed" to stay at the same place as long as possible . Backfired and the stress led to me quitting unexpectedly and here we are . I just wish it was ok to have a job for 6 months at a time and I think I'd be alright and wouldn't feel like dying everyday .
Yes..constantly worried. I could manage to scrape by as a single woman because I compensated for EF by overworking. Since I had a child who has ADHD, I haven't been able to over work like that. Parenting a high needs child is exhausting. The economic gap between me and other women my age is embarrassing. I just can't do what others can. I don't have the stamina.
I would have been homeless in my late 20s if not for my parents. My therapist retired and the economy crashed and I could not find a job. It’s kind of ridiculous that the psychologist I started seeing in that period didn’t recognize that I had ADHD.
I burned out and became unemployed without any savings. I got a job one week, got notified the next week that my landlord was starting the eviction process. I am housed today by the grace of God and the skin of my teeth.
Yes, I have had this fear dictate so much of my decision making process’.
I only just got an official diagnosis yesterday and am both excited but also extremely nervous at the choices I will be able to make once supported and medicated appropriately.
I’m really questioning how much of my current life is based on necessity for survival as a result of my executive disfunction, and what that will mean when I am no longer in that survival state… abit of an identity crisis in some ways.
Yes. I am facing having to move into my car with my dog at the end of the month. I am so stressed 😭
My husband and I lived in a church house for 2 1/2 years, so we’ve already lived that fear. Now we have an amazing landlord, husband has a stable job, and I make enough money to maintain my car and contribute to bills also. We don’t really fear it any more, but we did intentionally buy a car that we could both comfortably sleep in… just in case…
I frequently think about how many people are two paychecks away from serious housing problems.
I'm a single mom and it's HARD. My kids have had some medical problems this year and medical debt absolutely terrifies me. There are so many bills I can't keep them straight. I worry about one going into collections and ruining my credit. My ex helps with paying them but even with that I worry.
I worry about accidentally paying a bill twice. I once paid my rent twice by accident...
I worry I'm going to get fired, but 50% of my department is leaving this year so I doubt they'd let me go.
Make sure you research how medical debt works, apply for any aid they have as well!! Medical debt isn’t supposed to ruin your credit anymore but I don’t know how it all actually works.
Yes 😣 I am convinced that I would be homeless if I wasn’t with my current partner, who has been able to support me financially since I’ve been unable to engage with anything financially lucrative. It’s really tough for me because I feel super guilty at being a burden and not being able to take care of myself.
Yes definitely it’s my biggest fear actually . Because of that I still live with my parents and am learning about investing. I have a job now but I’ve gotten fired before . Saving is hard because of my impulsiveness. Even though I’m queer and interested in women as well , I may just end up marrying a man because unfortunately because of the wage gap and other reasons , straight men just tend to earn more than other queer women and are more in quantity as well.
Oh my god I thought this was only me!
I'm currently scared of losing everything and having to move back in with my parents. My job is good but doesn't pay well. I work as a cook at a pizza restaurant. I like the flow and I'm happy that I'm one of the fastest. Just it's not good pay and I have no clue what could give me the same thrill as cutting $2000 worth of product in one hour (roughly 50-60 orders in an hour).
My place of work was sold to some other company. My coworkers thought it would be great, but it turned out to be almost as bad as our previous owner. Eh at least this owner actually fixes our shit, unlike the previous owner who had already been fined for refusing to fix essential machines. So this new owner has already cracked down on labor so we're running with a skeleton crew. And because of that we were cut hours. My boyfriend used to work 25 hours a week and I used to work around 30-35 hours a week. Now we're at 18 and 26 hours a week respectively.
What we thought was going to make things better has made things way worse. My state has increased minimum wage but the company cut pretty much everyone's hours that it didn't make a difference. Not only that, but rent went up. Lots of our bills have lost government backing, so we're back to paying full price. So now my boyfriend is trying to find a second job but all of the jobs with "now hiring" signs aren't actually hiring after calling about it. Also lost my good insurance because I "make too much." 💀
Man I hate corporate bureaucracy and I hate government bureaucracy.
Very very much
1000% this. I would have been homeless a few times if it wasn't for my parents
I have that fear, especially lately. Never had it before but it can become a real possibility in the future. We shall see.
I feel you girl, I'm so fucking tired, my fumes are running on fumes. I'm still yet to medicated but like I tell my psych th anxiety/depression pills make me worse, but let's combine the ADHD meds with those and see what happens? At least try that shit so I can start getting these pills inside my system. No one listens to me! I may have to change once again!
My stomach is in knots lately and I wake up scared lately. I hate it.
I bought my mom's old trailer off her just in case things ever totally bottom out for us. It may be an irrational fear- I may be burned tf out but our mortgage is paid- but I have had to live in a car before and I don't want that for my children. Even if we're squatting on BLM land out in the desert at least we'll have a shelter.
Yes and I actually have done before. I wouldn’t say being homeless was the ADHD’s fault, rather just bad luck and no support system/safety net, but the serious of misfortunes that happened afterwards were. For example, I forgot to pay my property taxes, and got my car’s registration pulled, while I was living out of my car.
Executive dysfunction is not taken seriously enough and there are little to no resources for adults with ADHD who struggle with it, which is something I’d really like to change. Support services for ADHD individuals could change our lives. (I’m still trying to get over the shame of hiring a cleaner to come do a deep clean of my apartment though.)
I am so afraid of this. Starting in 2018 I developed depression on top of undiagnosed ADHD. I now have the diagnosis and have been treating both but I got so bad I had to go on disability and haven’t been able to return to work. I am so lucky to receive disability payments but the money is not much and with the way prices keep going up I am not in a great position. I also worry that my landlord will find out how messy things have become and evict me, which if they do I won’t be able to afford the current market rents. I do have a vehicle I could potentially live out of but it’s already hard just existing as is I don’t know that I’d have it in me to continue if that happened, though I’d like to think I’d try to spare my loved ones any pain.
I feel like a financial leach. What’s worse is I end up with abusive employers… the last one was embezzling. The one before that would yell for an hour straight in meetings.
I get it. This is the first time in my life I haven’t felt financially independent. Before, I always have had a savings hidden from myself. I have struggled since COVID
I'm so worried about being homeless. This is my number 1 fear and I don't know why because I do a decent job but I'm about to be on my own after 12 years. I am so scared.
Omg yes.
ETA I'm more afraid of being old and homeless rather than becoming homeless now. I'm petrified of being old and alone and broke and homeless.
Exactly, me also. That’s my second biggest fear (second only to something bad happening to my son).
Yes. My dad has the same brain as me and has been teetering on this line for awhile. It terrifies me
Yes, I worry about this all the time.
Yep. I worry about the future a lot.
Probably fair to say I already did once or twice. I was fine but that's because I just stayed in backpackers hostels because I was a girl in my early 20s and didnt look homeless.
Yup. I’m 31 and had to move me and my 11 year old back home with my mom last November when my bf of six years decided he was done and kicked us out on thanksgiving.
My mom is almost 70, and if it weren’t for her we’d absolutely be homeless. I don’t even make enough for a government-assisted apartment. I’m terrified of the future.
The only semi-realistic plan I’ve been able to come up with is to start saving and buy a tiny piece of land in West Virginia. At least if shit hits the fan, I’ll have a place to legally pitch my tent 🤷🏼♀️
To be fair, in this economy, I think everyone is scared of this.
The best thing my husband and I have ever done is sell our house and move to a far less expensive location. We used the equity to pay cash for our new home. It wasn't easy buy we home our home outright and that's the best feeling ever!
Oh my god, yes. I don’t like talking about this but yes, absolutely. My aunt who is in her 70s has always reminded me of me. It’s like looking into the future. She’s so scattered and irresponsible, can’t seem to do normal adult things, and she’s been homeless for periods of years at a time.
I’m terrified of that happening to me.
Yes
No need to fear when you’re already there! : D…… it’s not fun
Every moment of my life. It’s crushing, you’re not alone ❤️
Oh, yeah. I'm lucky that at my lowest point I had family to stay with. I'm afraid of not having that support one day. It's getting increasingly hard for even functioning, full time working adults to support themselves through life's bumps. Much less adding disabilities.
I was thinking about this two hours ago, it’s stressful af
Absolutely!! Being homeless was one of my biggest fears.
Now I am more comfortable with the thought of "if my landlord kicks me out I'll rent a garage where I'll put my stuff and I'll live in my car"
Yes and also it's happened to me before it was a very difficult time and I wouldn't have gotten out of it alone.
Yes! I’ve got a great job and a decent income but I’ve never been able to get a deposit together to buy a house or to navigate the process of getting a mortgage. I am constantly in fear that at some point I’ll lost my job due to messing stuff up due to executive function problems and this will eventually lead to homelessness. It terrifies me even though it’s actually u likely to happen.
Yes... even though I can crash into another relative's house, I'm not a picky freeloader. But I can't imagine doing daily chores like a maid! My executive dysfunction always gets the best of me. I still don't have a stable income to renovate the house, let alone build the house from scratch. TBH, I don't know what the future holds for me. I'm always lucky for never paying the bills. I pay the gas bill occasionally. I don't really care if any of the lamps in my house die. I can still use a candle or torch.
Yes i worry about it all the time. I think the key to living with this fear is feeling confident in your core self, that no matter what happens you will survive and get through it. People are surprisingly resilient during hard times. Maybe we’re all more capable than we think!
Yes. I only am not because of my amazingly supportive family. I also have MS so my bandwidth is extremely narrow.
if my husband ever left i’d be utterly fucked. i don’t think he would by any means but hypothetically, if he did, i would have next to nothing. half our assents would get me by long enough to like, pitch a tent. it’s a terrifying thought.
Why someone doesn’t start a service to fully manage a person’s or family’s bills ( at the least) until AI can …🤔until it can do taxes 🙏
I’m confident I will be homeless at some point. I can’t keep a job, which means I don’t qualify for business loans, home loans, and barely for rentals. at some point I’ll be too decrepit to work it’ll just all fall apart
Yes...
If I wasn’t attractive yes. Bc my physical looks makeup for my lack of mental ones from adhd I was able to find a good husband easily. He’s patient and has a good income. And no I didn’t marry him for money, he only made half of what he does now when I met him.
Yes all the time, no matter how much money i have. It will happen, absolutely, i am ruining my family, etc etc etc etc.
It’s exhausting.
Yeah, on paper I should be fine, but I don't know how to save money; and I am the youngest of two who always needs family help with moving, etc. I totally feel you. Just do your best and remember that's good enough.
Yes
Yes
I'm maybe almost a month late on rent, landlord hasn't said anything yet, I will beg to have him use my deposit as a placeholder.
Totally. I live in Portugal, and we are now #1 in the world in terms of most expensive rentals, buying house, etc.
If I didn't had my family support, I would be homeless right now. 100%. I'm one year unemployed, this country is a fucking mess, this new elected government (PSD won, they are center but a bit more to the right) is showing how (in the worst possible way) that people are mad. They elected 30+ people from the far-right. They are right now seated on our assembly, and were #1 fastest growing party. It's scary!
Then I go online and all I see is: "5 reasons why I moved to Portugal!" from every possible nationality, and the comments are all from Portuguese people complaining that these kind of tiktoks/reels that says everything here is cheap, are simply not true and insensitive as f*ck towards the reality we live in.
Since 2019 Portugal has been advertised as such, this sunny paradise near UK, Spain and France. There has been a HUGE increase of foreigners coming, buying land, apartments, houses, buildings even, "for cheap" and then placing rent prices super high were the only people that can afford are other foreigners. Not the portuguese - we can't even afford our meds right now!
And please, don't take this the wrong way because I am not racist nor xenophobic or anything. I actually am one of the few Portuguese that are still leaving in Lisbon center, surrounded by awesome non-portuguese neighbours that came to this neighborhood for the art, and everything that still represents. But I do notice in conversations with them that they have 0 idea how much we earn on a monthly basis, and that their reality (the ones they portrait on those tiktoks/reels of happy sunny Lisbon) is not our reality. Example: how much do you pay for an expresso on your place of origin? We pay 2€ max, but I still remember when it was 0.50 cents ahahha
TL,DR: Please, do come to Portugal, open your businesses here, no problem. But be mindful of the Portuguese people, if you truly want to "live like a local".
Edit: Forgot to mention more info about my case alone: my ADHD meds alone are around €70 with health insurance (still too much for me since I am unemployed); I am fortunate to have the last mindful and understanding landlady in lisbon, so I pay €300 for my room alone (the usual price for the kind of bedroom I have is already at 900 or more); I still need to choose if I'll have breakfast and lunch or breakfast and dinner everyday (can't afford more than that, and by breakfast I mean a piece of toast with butter, and lunch something for less than 5€ - usually frozen meals); can't have therapy as regularly as I should (psychiatrist charges 90€ per consultation, and psychologist charges 60€. Could I resort to our awesome public healthcare system were almost everything is for free? Yes. But the waiting list is more than 2 years, and once you have a doctor, they keep changing them 'cause they either emigrate or go to private healthcare). Now you ask, what is the minimum wage? €820. Do the math.
Portugal is indeed amazing, people are super nice, we have amazing food, amazing scenery, nature everywhere (if you get out of Lisbon hahaha), but this economic crisis is going to be the death of us. And people that are coming from abroad to leave here, all we ask is for you to be mindful and study a bit more (about our history, the people, our government, market, the impact - since 2019ish - on the Portuguese people of the golden visas and other measures that our government allowed/still allows to increase tourism, etc... basically, check the news daily and include Portuguese on your inner circle of friends, don't be surrounded only by people from your place of origin).
I was super lucky and bought a nice condo before the housing bubble. I don't think I would ever actually become homeless, but I do fear messing up my finances to the point of having to sell my home or filing bankruptcy or whatever. I rely on my worrywort nature to keep me independent and out of trouble.
Currently am! Well, we’re living in a hotel. It’s been a real clusterquack the last five years or so. Makes our 5yo son that much more amazing because he’s a nutball but wonderful. But my wife and I (AuDHD, depression, and anxiety and ADHD, depression, and agoraphobia) live quite the exhausting existence. The most recent living situations were a “do not renew” notice in December, no one could give us a spot to crash for a week or two and we didn’t have a new place until 2/28, moved into a new spot 3/1-4 (did that alone because my wife had a broken foot), got no-fault evicted 4/9 because the building was condemned in 2020 and the owners apparently weren’t…aware?…but ultimately couldn’t take care of all the issues, and we had to leave immediately. Been in hotels since mid-April.
I JUST came around yesterday, since the first burst of “have to fix this, call emergency housing and DTA” (Massachusetts, USA) the first week, out of the depressive episode. I’ve had spotty therapy time because our clinic is overwhelmed, worked more infrequently than usual, we may have a small/unmodernized/but slightly less expensive in the insane market we live in apartment opportunity and now I’m feeling my brain trying to go blank on me while I’m trying to pull it all together in, like, one day 😂
My parents were all phobic and loudly pissy that I’m queer (understatement and my dad was that but my mom is an enabler). But the genetic brain bullshit is so much more of a hindrance 🤔
Love you folks, here 💘. We’re all amazing
Very much so. Currently my partner is paying all the housing related bills. I haven't worked fulltime in several years, because of physical health problems.
Although if I hadn't moved where I am now for his benefit, I might be in a more diverse job market. The vast majority of the jobs around here involve physical labor that I simply can't do.
I've always worried about keeping my head above water, though.
I wonder if you have a comorbid condition that hasn’t been diagnosed yet. I have adhd and also bipolar2 and I was diagnosed adhd first. The medication helped but not as much as it seemed to help other people. Eventually I had a new doctor and when I went for a prescription refill she realized I was showing signs of hypomania. I’m forever thankful for that because BP2 was the missing piece for me
My brother is undiagnosed something and is now homeless! It may be a combo of adhd with something else or something else entirely but only him getting evaluated by a psychiatrist would let us know and I wish he would 😭he literally said fuck the world handed the keys to landlord with everything in it including two wonderful dogs we had ti scramble to rehome. He is in a crisis right now but his executive dysfunction definitely plays a role. He has lost multiple jobs due to being late and sleeping in. Not showing up altogether. He’s very personable so getting the job comes easy to him when he gets moments of “energy” I don’t know what to call it. But he does well for a while then boom we find out all sorts of things he hasn’t been doing or paying. I get my moments of “will i start drinking again and fuck my whole world up” when those fears are overpowering it’s time to talk to my therapist asap or hit a meeting any meeting to get a reality check 🙃 I’m not 100% AA but I use it as a tool when needed.
yes. this economy sucks and life feels very scary.
I was homeless 3x due to it. I would drag mys of out of the gutter (not literally, I have slept on couches) get a job, go into hyper vigilance due to fear of slipping back. Burn out. Depression. Default. Homeless. It sucks.
Now I’m married to an amazing man who watched it happen and has basically banned me from getting a job and make it my job to look after myself.
Also, check out adaptive functioning. It’s not just executive functioning. Adaptive functioning is the ability to do the day to day stuff and socialising.
This condition is so complicated.
Yeah and then I was homeless living in a tent in the Oregon outback milking cows in exchange for dinner. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Turns out, being that close to the edge makes the norepinephrine and dopamine flow real good. I was the most functional and focused I'd been in my life. I miss it. Living in civilization is stupid.
Well, no actually. I have been close and emergency situations like that are when my ADHD brain kicks into useful mode. I'm so clear and good in a crisis, I have faith that I will find a way if I need to. I mean I'm scared of being broke for the rest of my life, but not to the point of homelessness. I guess having been close to homelessness helps with that.
Yes
No because luckily I have enough family members that wouldn’t let that happen. I’ve never really thought about it tbh. I have very bad anxiety and sometimes the anxiety acts as self-preservation and overtakes the ADHD, so I think that would happen here to prevent it from happening. I think my anxiety of being homeless would be too high and would propel me.
Have you asked your doctor if you might also have anxiety?
I didn’t realize I was carrying around so much until my doctor prescribed a med for it, I took it, and the pressure was just gone
What was the med, if you don’t mind me asking?
Prozac 20 mg
Yes, so much, even though I technically have a safety net in that my parents are extremely wealthy so would never let me or my kids actually be homeless. My husband has quite a well paying job but I did too until I got made redundant on Wednesday. I actually feel sick all the time worrying about money, I only got diagnosed 2 years ago at age 39 and my husband is also pretty sure that he is adhd but doesn’t want to do the official assessment as he has no interest in medication. I guess the big difference between us is that at work he has several staff under him to take care of executive functioning tasks, and at home he has me doing everything, never mind how much I struggle. My lack of executive functioning actually got us in to a terrible financial hole which I am desperately trying to climb out of, I’m so scared the bank is going to claim our house because we are a lot behind on payments. My husband thinks I should just come clean to my parents and get them to help us out but he doesn’t understand the absolute shame I would feel doing that, I would really become a loser in my parents eyes and I don’t know if I could bare it. So I’m trying everything in my power first to try to come to some sort of arrangement that I can do on my own. I’m terrified though tbh
What's that like lol
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