We live in a suburban neighborhood where everyone has two or three car garages and driveways. The two houses across the street from us are full of teenagers, and it seems every one of them owns a car or truck. Both houses also have giant boats. They don’t park in their garages. They don’t park in their driveways. They don’t even park in front of their houses. Instead, they line the street in front of our house, so much so that it looks like we’re having a party every night. It’s annoying. How do I “encourage” them to park somewhere else.
ULPT request: stopping neighbor kids parking in front of our house
Home & GardenUser deleted comment
19d
I actually just told my own kids (who park in our driveway) to go park in front of our house. If those spots are full, park in front of the neighbors.
I’d rather have no cars there, but I’ll settle for cars that I can move when I want.
Start parking in your neighbors drive way. Bonus points if you buy a $1000 rust bucket and force them to tow it.
I may or may not have watched this go down at the brodozer household in my neighborhood. Similar situation as yours.
When i lived at home my parents would put a traffic cone in the street.
Id say thats relatively unethical.
Screams of Karen mentality, I will kick that shit down the street so fast if I see it and it doesn't even have to be on my street.
Tell your kids to park in front of their house. And you park in front of yours. 🤭
I park in my garage, but I suppose I am petty enough to change that for a while.
Time to clear out some garage space for activities! So many activities!
Yeah, set up that ping-pong table next to the pool table in your 2-car, maybe setup darts in the 3rd garage spot if you have it.
Don’t throw darts over the pool table!
been doin this one for years
Hang out on your front lawn. When they park, just walk over and be really friendly. Talk constantly enough they can't really disengage and leave. Touch them or their car the whole time. Look in their car and comment on its contents. Ask mildly personal questions. Mouth breathe, at them. Learn their names or a name that sounds pretty close to theirs. Just take everything a tiny step into socially awkward.
If they're teenagers, they'll be parking blocks away and climbing fences to avoid you.
This made me laugh! Mouth breathe at them 😂
Hhhhhhuuuuuhhhhh😯 shhhhhuuuuhhhh huuuuhhhhh ahhhuuhhh hnnnnmmmguuuhbhhhh huuuuhhh!
This might actually work
Reverse uno and park in front of their house.
This oddly works. I did it once and the neighbor moved their car like right after I went inside. So I went back out and got in "my" spot.
Easy, fuck their dad.
Fuck their dad, take photos. Show photo to son, saying you will show other teens what you did. If you get resistance bake some cookies, and bring them over to the house for "bonding time" with your new son. Make a big deal of it in front of his friends. Cookies are actually piss discs, surprise motherfucker. Mic drop some liquid ass on your way out.
Fuck their dad on a bed of piss discs
Bird seed, liquid ass and piss disks
Said that, starting a prank war with teenagers probably not a good idea. So go for the disabled bay.
One of them has an old, shitty convertible and he keeps the top down pretty much all the time - even when it’s raining. #easyaccess
Main concern is that they can retaliate unfortunately.
I'd prolly give it some thought on how to just screw them all without revealing yourself. Maybe do it when they park in front any house that isn't yours. Call the police on them mentioning underage drinking. Dunno.
If you just mess with car in front of your house, teenagers will be teenagers.
True. We have watered their cars a few times when the windows are down or the convertible is open. It was actually totally an accident - the sprinklers are on an automatic timer and they come on in the middle of the night.
I say lean into the "watering the cars." Angle some of the edge sprinklers to make sure they thoroughly soak the cars parked in front.
lol ya you’re gonna get so fucked. You got a house and a career these teenagers have nothing but time and a young creative mind
A good approach could be teaming up with neighbours. Its likely other people are annoyed too, and it will give more variety to the attacks.
Also chances are you have a crazy Karen neighbour somewhere, you could get them to fight.
Throw in some ripe trash just before bed and see info can entice a pregnant raccoon to give birth in there
Mustard seed all over the upholstery when it's raining
Lawn sprinkler. It can be on a random timer, bonus if you can find one that can add fertilizer or something.
Get a disabled bay painted
I just researched this. My city requires the home owner to qualify for a handicap placard and we do not. Can someone just paint a curb for fun?
Sure, why not? Check the codes in your city. Maybe pick a different color? Can you put large flower pots in place that block the passengers doors making it a pain for them to get out of the car? Another suggestion, put birdseed all around/ on the car and the birds will decorate the car
Try indigo instead of blue.
Paint a bay in front of a half dozen houses on your street. No one will understand why this painting bandit did it, but no one will put in the effort to paint over yours.
Just paint it anyway and make sure no one sees you. Then when they park there, call the cops and report the illegal parking. The cop is not going to check the legitimacy of the no parking zone, they’ll just write a ticket, possibly call for a tow, and be on their way. Although the ticket would be no good, the vehicle owner would still have to go to court to get it dismissed.
And the judge will not check to see if it was a legit painted curb or not.
Probably gotta buy that part of the street from the city and put a fence around it
It’s a good day to start selling used tires and auto parts in the city!
Put a "free stuff" ad on Craigslist. Doesn't matter what it's for.
Write, "I'll be out of town but I'll leave in the back of my unlocked [describe their car]"
Craigslist folk will go to unimaginable lengths for free junk.
Valve stem removal tool
Fighting with neighbors fucking sucks at this escalation level. It’s your home. And also then the car is stuck there.
Yea, but then you can have it towed as a derelict vehicle.
I’ll get to the unethical solutions in a minute. Are there any neighborhood regulations regarding parking in the street? Or if there’s an HOA, could they be approached about it?
As for unethical solutions, you could put a bunch of loose gravels along the front strip of grass against the streets. Hit them with the mower, and send them flying into the paint job.
You could also see about getting motion activated sprinklers like the ones used to repel deer. When they park right in front of the house, they go off and start spraying the car and the people getting out of it.
Do you trash bins get picked up on the street? If so, leave them out by the cars and put manure in them.
You can clean them yourself and/pr get a service to scrub them out later.
Long game: put up a couple of trees that will hang over the spaces and drop/spray the worst kind of sap and other fallout for car paint. Bottlebrush is pretty awful.
And you can try to find some grown ones you can transplant
Ask the city if you can get permit parking for the street. Other than that it is first come first serve and although this is ULPT they know where you live. If someone f’d with my car I would retaliate x10. My neighbor used to park his work van in front of my house. Annoyed the shit out of my wife but what can you do.
Edit: if you are willing to fund it, you could buy a pos and insure it and move it every week so it does not get towed, but park it in front of their house. Maybe dent every panel and get some surface rust on it. A little graffiti some tacky bumper stickers. A lot of hoarder type stuff on the inside on the dash. When they ask you to move it explain the situation. You could probably rent it out for others in your situation.
If you are into sports a party van with your sports team theme on it would also annoy the neighbors.
You'd need to find out what the situation is with visitors - relatives of residents probably get an easy ride.
Park your shit infront of their house.
I guess if you have a tree in that area, and could put up a generic no parking/towing sign from Amazon in the short run (until the neighbors catch on and call the city).
Or fill the tree with bird feeders and watch the shitshow commence
I thought about spilling a box of roofing nails in the gutter. Oops.
This. This is the answer. BUT, the neighbors need to put two and two together. So id suggest getting some saw horses and wood working on the curb a little for them to see
Adults have a hard time shelling out the money for tires, imagine a bunch of teenagers. Im not even sure they would abide by a disabled bay - but when you start fucking with their money, well, that speaks alot more clear to stay the fuck out of that drive way
Feed birds near the car
It's a public street, they can park wherever the hell they want.
Ya this guys gonna get fucked I honestly wanna follow along and see like “my wife wants a divorce because of something I didn’t do” or some shit like this. I may know from experience. Don’t fuck with peoples rights.
Literally I lived in a house, during college, where it was a similar situation. Neighbor called the news on us bc we had too many vehicles between 5 students and our Gf’s. Dude looked like an asshole when they said at the end of the segment that there was absolutely nothing they could do since it was public property. Fast forward a few weeks, the move pissed our landlord off so he paid for multiple kegs and port-a-potties just to piss the neighbor off even more
Slow news day, eh?
It was in Corpus Christi, so they just needed some drama
This, a thousand times. If it’s a public street anyone can park wherever they want (within the confines of municipal parking regulations).
What's legal and what's neighborly are two different things. Don't be that person.
If there is a curb, then really, who cares? If they're parking on your lawn, that's a different story. Suburb living is just full of people worrying about the wrong stuff...
You wouldn't be the slightest bit annoyed if your neighbor started parking in front of your house even though they had room to park in front of their own house and in their own driveway? Great things to do is just start parking in front of their house. Let them see how annoying it is and maybe they'll get the point.
Nope
Nope, i live in a major city. Neighbors park within inches of my driveway, that's the way it is - street parking is a premium.
I can see living in a urban area it not being a big deal. That's the price you pay for living But living in a neighborhood with driveways and garages is different. That's the reason people choose to live in neighborhoods like that, to have there own areas where they can do what they want. The neighbors are parking in front of ops house because they don't want all the cars parked in front of their own house. It's definitely not against the law but it's still an asshole move.
No one asked for legal advice. This is unethical tips. You might be lost.
I couldn’t figure out why the previous owners planted those nasty spike red bushes out front, then the parking wars started. Of course it’s the people with broken down vehicles and shitty boats in their driveways.
They could never figure it how to turn off their lights after they were pointed away from our windows, that was the main issue. I stopped trimming those nasty spiky plants and when my DIL moved in, we had her park crossways across two “spots”.
No one is supposed to park on a cul de sac, it’s meant for emergency vehicles to be able to turn around.
We had the same exact problem. We started parking in front of our house. I'd rather stare out my dining room window to my car versus my neighbors monstrous ugly truck or their teenage daughters bfs old ass Subaru covered in rust
If a car sits in the same spot for 72 hrs here, we can call the city and report it as abandoned too. Move yo shit😀
I can't imagine my life being so empty that this would bother me.
Lol. I hear you. The neighbor truck was one that he never used, so it would've sat there for months. That's why it was a big deal. He moved it off his lawn (cuz his wife bitched it was killing the grass), to in front of our house. That's kind of a big deal.
Dear public street parking karen, I've delt with your kind before. And trust me, it not only escalated, it was received with threats of a shotgun just because I parked in front of an old lady's, not even the mentally ill Karens house. Mind your own business if you don't want things to escalate. The first person to complain and be a Karen will always lose, which is already you, lmao. Already have a garage parking but thinj you own the whole public street parking. What you gonna do, put cones there? Oh don't worry, someone like me will just throw them into your yard. Cone Karen
What if they are blocking your mailbox? I don't want to start anything with my neighbors, and I used to have a car in front with enough space for the mail truck to deliver, but not enough for someone to park. Can't afford to pay the insurance on that car anymore so I had to get rid of it. They don't deliver my mail if the mailbox is blocked. I get my medication by mail and well as paychecks. What do you suggest? I don't want to be a Karen, but I need my medication.
I get what you're saying but That's not the same thing as parking on a public street. Yes you can go ask politely, Keyword politely because you have a legitimate reason, which is you dont get mail. OP karen here just don't like people parking on the public city street parking because it's on front of her. Now that's different. If that doesn't work well, you can escalate it or not. Again, it's up to the neighbor. Also, be an adult, unlike OP, begging for other karens for advice on how to mess with people's car.
I will try that. I'm always really polite. Have to be since we are the only renters on the street anymore. The rich retirees came and bought up all the houses. It didn't happen before they all came. You can't designate parking spots on a public street. Keyword "public." Thanks for your help. I felt like such a Karen even getting upset about it.
Karens are impolite and will cause harassments and escalations. I've had coffee thrown at my car and loads of notes telling me I'm Parked in their spot. All they have to do was talk to me. It's how you talk to people. Good luck and be safe ok.
Unless they are blocking your driveway or making it so someone cannot get down the street, it's a public street and people can park where they like. Where I live, I was told that nothing could even be done if they block your mailbox. I would leave it alone. Teenagers will always win.
Ya you were my neighbour. Let them park there. It is public parking. This is your warning. Don’t fuck with these people you will get fucked over 2000x more. You have been warned. Good luck.
I really don't understand why you got down-voted on this.
One one side, you have OP - owns a house/vehicles. Most likely a good job.
On the other side you have a bunch of teen-aged kids. Who is going to win in any ULPT here?
Also, and I know this is crazy, did OP ever consider talking with neighbors to ask them to not park there?
Have you thought about fucking off and going back inside to watch tv? You don’t have enough shit to worry about in your life, so this is what you’re concerned with?
Basically to do the opposite of the other ULPT...
Just put your trash cans out, all the time. City won't like it but they may not be smart enough to call.
I like to water my yard... and the sidewalk and a bit of the street. It ain't much but it will make spots all over half of their car.
Roofing tacks.
Do not bag the grass when you mow the perimeter of your yard. Let it blast onto their cars. Change mow days regularly. Do not let them think they are safe ever.
you can make a spike strip with nails and a rope.
Invite every friend you have, tell them to bring their friends as well. Throw a huge party , make them park in front of their house and your house as well, maybe even block them in.
Bleach the seats of the convertible car, play dumb
Look at getting wheel skates and putting them under their wheels.
"accidentally" leave tacks on the ground where they park
Fuck I hate subdivisions
We had/somewhat have an issue like this. The school bus couldn't even get into the neighborhood. Nothing was being done by anyone because technically they weren't breaking any laws except the bus and fire engine part. Well someone looked up aluminum oxide and how young Indian boys break car windows. A certain someone, not myself, broke some spark plugs up and drilled a hole through a few of the larger pieces to thread something like fishing line through.
Now someone had aluminum oxide porcelain with a return capability. Real easy for one of my neighbors to drive by barely squeezing through and just.... throw them. They now either park on the curb or don't come around anymore.
It is a public street..... But putting up bird feeders and maybe even sprinkling seed on their cars will give them lots of bird poo on their rides.
Does your neighbor have surveillance cameras? If not:
Buy some red paint, some brushes, and a flashlight.
Go out around 2am and paint the curb red.
Or you could stop being a little whiner about it. Have you considered getting therapy?
Boo hoo, the neighbors parked in front of my house. They should park their cars somewhere that’s not an eyesore for me!!
Grow up, Karen. Teenagers need a place to park too.
Put up a tow zone sign, then call the tow truck.
If they block your mail box there are laws against that.
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Steal their catalytic converters and then sell them for money to buy a sign that says no parking