tl;dr - My sister moved to another country and had a child with her ex-fiancé. The child isn't a US citizen and courts in both countries have sided with her ex to keep the child in the other country, and will not allow my sister to bring the child to the US. Now my parents and my sister want me to cancel my vacation and give the money to my sister to help with her legal bills, and are furious that I said no.

Background: My older sister did a student exchange program when she was in college. She liked it so much there that she ended up staying there. Eventually later on she met someone. They have a child (who is 8 now) and they were planning on getting married. But their relationship fell apart before the wedding happened. My sister wanted to move back here and bring her child with her.

I always thought that if a baby had a parent with US citizenship, it automatically made the baby a citizen no matter where in the world that baby was born. But that's not true. Since my sister and her child's father aren't married and my sister had not been physically present in the US for years before their child was born, it means their child is not automatically a citizen. Their child could get citizenship but that would require them 1) to be allowed to enter the country legally as an immigrant and 2) for them to be in the physical and legal custody of my sister. This where the problems happen.

Their child is a citizen of her father's country and the court there won't let my sister have custody or bring their child here. All the times my sister has tried and appealed the court say the current country is their home, their child has no ties to the US and has never been here, and my sister has no right to remove them from their home country. They also say the free healthcare and better standard of living means their child should stay and even talk about how much safer it is there vs. here.

Even though the law about an unmarried mother giving citizenship to their child born in another country has changed, it doesn't apply after the fact. My sister's child was born a year before the law changed so it doesn't count in their case. The US has an agreement with the country my sister lives in about custody agreements and child support so the courts here can't do anything. My sister has tried going to court and then appealing decisions both here and in the other country. She has hired lawyers in both countries. She has gone to politicians in both countries. She's had all kinds of consults with experts in international law. And no matter where she turns the law is against her and her ex says their child will not ever come here until they are 18 and can decide for themselves. Her choices are either: to stay to stay the other country where her ex has their version of legal and physical custody and sister would have visitation, not 50% but close. She can also try to meet the requirements for citizenship. Or she can move back to St. Louis and then go back to the other country once or twice a year for a visit.

To help my sister pay for her huge legal bills my parents re-mortgaged their house. It was basically paid off but now they are underwater on it. They gave her their entire savings as well. My mom didn't work after my sister and I were born but she's had to get a job as a cashier because of my parent's financial situation. My dad won't be able to retire now. They are looking if there's any social assistance because of how bad things are. I'm terrified that something will happen that will make their situation worse like an accident or illness because of how bad the situation is. Even after all this they are still hell bent on helping my sister. I'm don't have the money to look after them if anything goes wrong. I'm a phlebotomist, I don't have piles of money lying around to help my parents and even now they are still giving my sister money.

My sister is almost massively in debt. Before now neither her or my parents asked me for money but now that my parents and my sister have found out I'm taking a vacation they want me to cancel it and give the money to my sister. I finished my training in 2020 and the last four years in the healthcare sector have been so stressful. I haven't had more than three days off in a row since I started my job. I'm going on a Viking Cruise and I've been looking forward to it for over a year. I don't want to cancel it. I currently do not have any debt but they are pressuring me to go into debt for my sister. My parents have visited my sister's child, they have visited the other country and regularly do video calls and phone calls but I think my parents and my sister are still in denial about the situation. When I said I'm not cancelling my cruise or going into debt to help my sister all three of them got so angry. My sister lost it on me and my parents backed her up and said they were disappointed in me. Besides my sister's child the three of them are the only family. But my parents and my sister won't talk to me unless it's to tell me how angry they are. It just sucks that they won't talk even though I know I'm right and won't change my mind.