My sister laughed at me getting a miscarriage because I was the golden child

Saw someone on TT say this: if you don’t do the work to heal from a narcissistic parent, you will become the narcissistic person.

of her saying that the rest of the dinner was extremely awkward and no one really spoke after that

I'm sorry to say this, but your whole family are a-hols. Why isn't there anyone who defended you? Why didn't your husband say something? . You don't need negative people in your life. You are an adult, you can decide who will be part of your life.

The next time she does anything like that just say "guess you really take after our mother. You have the same meaness and cruelty and bullying nature as she does"

Regardless of how your upbringing was, that was downright evil and of her and to be honest, you need to go LC atleast. She is going to perverse pleasure in your hardships. 

I wouldnt give her too many words other than, "please seek therapy. Me being born was not my fault, our mothers abuse was not my or anyones fault than hers. You blaming me is unfair, and I will not tolerate your abuse any longer. I hope you seek help, you need it, as you are becoming like her. Goodbye, and I still love you."

Then proceed to go extremely low contact or no contact with her. Yes she is your sister, and for that there is some sort of love there. But you should not tolerate her abusing you. Her trauma, while valid, is not an excuse to hurt you or anyone, and she needs to seek therapy to help herself for herself.

She bullies OP because she’s the easiest target. I’m guessing that their mother is out of the picture but she still has trauma and bad memories associated with the abuse and she takes every opportunity to hurt her at family gatherings.

This is no excuse for turning into her mother

Time to go no or very low contact until she sees the need for therapy which will probably be never

Being abused doesn't mean she isn't an abuser.

It seems the apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it came to Amelia. I hope she realized she turned into your mom. Picking favorites and holding grudges is something a narcissist does.

Your mom was probably also abused, which turned her into a narc. Doesn’t excuse what she did.

What do your other siblings think of how she's treated you all these years? They obviously know and see it. Would none of them stick up for you or be willing to call your sister out for her behavior?

Unfortunately your sister isn’t very different from your mom. You should tell her that and never talk to her again. And if your siblings allow this treatment as well, you should go low contact with them. Focus on your husband and yourself. You don’t need stress like that in your lives. Good luck OP

Stop letting her into your life. Is she going to be somewhere don’t go. Make your own family gatherings and don’t invite her. If your other family heard her there’s no way they could hold that against you and if they do cut them out too.

Life is long and you don’t need someone like that. I wouldn’t say that to someone I hated let alone my sister. Fuck that bitch

I’m very sorry for your loss and all of this you don’t deserve it. She may have trauma but you were just a kid it’s not your fault

It can be really hard sometimes to forgive the golden child when you're the scapegoat. Definitely not justifying her actions, that was really shitty, but it sounds like she needs some therapy and to learn how to put her anger towards the right target (read: your mother and any other adult who may have played a part in her bad childhood).

I'm sorry that you experienced that, op. I was personally the scapegoat in my family, and I only recently made peace with my golden child sister, and honestly? I think it helped a lot with my mental health. She's gone low contact with our mother while I'm fully no contact, and it's been extremely therapeutic to have an actual sisterly relationship with her after years of not having that because of our parents. I hope you at least have that with your other siblings... and that maybe she heals someday. 💕

What she said was cruel and not true. Just know that your mother's treatment was not your fault, and Amelia is unjustly taking it out on you. It's best to go no contact with her because her treatment of you is abusive.

Fuck. Her.

I would have responded you’re just like mom.

I have a feeling your sister dislikes you, since you look like your mom.

What she said was a very nasty thing to say and you should go no contact with her.

Sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))

That’s never something ok to say to someone. Especially someone who is grieving a loss.

I’m sorry your sister is your mother’s personality twin and that no one in your family is sticking up for you. Not your siblings, or aunt or husband. Miscarriage and infertility is a devastating thing. No one should have “karma” thrown in their face. You had no choice in your mother’s actions. You were also abused and your sibling chose to ignore the abuse inflicted upon you.

Go low contact with those who are not sticking up for you and letting Amelia say hurtful things to you. You don’t need them in your life.

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

You have no sister or any of the siblings. Your mother in her hatred of children's father and her favoritism of you, made sure of that. All your efforts to defend your siblings are a waste of time, and energy. Until your sister rediscovers herself and starts making amends with everyone including you, You have no sister. It is time to accept it, move on and focus on your and your husbands future.

Sadly your post reminds me of "The children paying parent's karmic debts off...".

Sounds like its not you who is taking after your mom. Ask her why she is trying so hard to become her mother. What a bitch. Ditch her and all you doesnt stand up for you.

You need to cut her off completely. “I understand that you’re hurting, but I’m hurting too. My only ‘sin’ was being born, you’ve actively chosen to follow in her footsteps to right a perceived wrong that shouldn’t exist. I hope one day you understand that you’ve become cruel and abusive just like her and learn to break the pattern. I’ve tried reaching out but there comes a point where a line cannot be uncrossed.”

You’re going to be a wonderful mom, don’t let that monster tell you otherwise. Best of luck in your healing, OP.

I think in the same way your mom hated the rest of your siblings more because they look like your dad plays a huge part in why your sister hates you. You said you resemble your mom the most. So maybe every time she sees you, she sees your mom and she behaves this way towards you. This doesn’t excuse her behavior but I think it should help you not take it so personally. Are your other siblings just as mean to you or is it only her? Regardless everybody needs some therapy. Hurt people will hurt people. Even at 30, the child inside her is still very hurt and very angry.

In my broken ass family, I'm technically the youngest. All my step siblings are older than me, but the cycle was reversed for me.

On my abusive fathers' side, the eldest girl who knows nothing of his abuses and will always defend him because she's a papa's girl and is the Golden Child. The 2nd eldest didn't receive the same treatment, but she still never experienced being abused firsthand. The 3rd oldest experienced only minor things [just as extended corner time, slapped, berated, etc.] The 4th eldest out of those 4, he got treated more poorly where being locked in closets began to be a thing.

Then I came along, and I got the worst of it. His sexual harassment[borderline abuse], threats, almost being stabbed [ended up being knicked by the damn knife on the knee because I dodged, smfh.], being starved, manipulated, beaten, kicked, locked in closets, had barely any clothes or food, was told I deserve to rot and die, and he also planted extremely dangerous thoughts in my head over my weight and tried to make me become anorexic by forcing me to not eat, or eat something repulsive and then throw it up. The reason why I got this treatment? Because I have my mothers blood. He hates her [as she hates him], so he projects and takes/took out his disproportionate anger out on me. Literally, I'm punished by my own parents just for being born [both of them are abusive and probably are either Narcissists or just straight up psychopathic. Or Bipolar but even actual bipolar people dont act as deranged as my parents do.] For the longest time, I wasn't even allowed to celebrate my own goddamn birthday lmfao.

So coming from someone who sorta was in a similar position as your sister: she's fucked. She adopted the same shit personality and attitude from mother dearest 🙄 and is taking it out on you. She is cruel, vile, sickening, and an utter disgrace of a human being. Please tell her to get professional psychological help [or yknow, help n therapy in general.] And please go NC/LC with her and your other "siblings." Im sorry for your loss, OP, but your sibling, specifically this sister, is unnecessary and not needed in your life. Her approval is something you'll never get because her own trauma and resentment is rooted so deep inside of her that she can't see anything else beyond that. Grieve, rest, and recover OP, take care.

Stop trying, she's just cruel. I would go no contact.

With how she/ THEY treat you, why bother going to their gatherings. Invite your siblings one or two at a time to your place, but not that oldest.

From your description, the rest follow the lead of the oldest. Keep your eyes open. They have a relationship with her, and when conversing about their " secret whatever," they made no effort to explain the joke, and the fact that no one called her out for laughing at a sister's miscarriage shows how Amelia and the rest see you.

You have permission to not be around toxic people. I have done this, and the stress levels have dropped significantly. That alone may be better for you.

It’s not your fault you were the golden child, your mom was shitty and that’s not your fault. Your sister’s resentment should’ve been directed at your mother not you. And regardless of what bad blood you two might have it doesn’t justify her taking delight in you having a miscarriage and kicking you while you’re down. Maybe if she had gotten therapy to work through her trauma she wouldn’t have become as toxic as her mother. She’s not a good person and I’m so sorry you have to put up with that. And I’m sorry for your loss as well. It’s crazy that your other siblings maintain a relationship with her knowing how she treats you. Do they not care about their sister bullying their other sister?

From a very young age your sister needed to parent. She subconsciously even wanted to be you or the opposite hated you because you looked like mum.

Your sister through trauma and a narcissistic mum is damaged. Feel sorrow and pity. What she said to you shows her tangled mindset.

Nothing you do will change her.

You need to move on. And other family members will notice it in her and feel sorry for her.

Sister needs alot of therapy.

She can't see you were a victim also.

Your sister is a bitter, twisted individual who ironically has turned out just like your mother; a bully who loves to create a divide. It's time now you start totally ignoring her back & completely cutting her off, if possible avoiding being under the same roof as her. Don't let her comment get to you, it may hurt but believe me she is the one constantly seething inside not you, so she is technically hurting herself more.

I am sorry for your loss & you sound like you would make a great mother as you have compassion, you play fair & you have insight into toxic family dynamics. If you do become a parent I strongly advise you keep that monster far away from your children as much as possible because she is likely to harm them

You should text her and tell her that she’s a carbon copy of your mom and you won’t be surprised when she ends up in prison just like her. And then block her and never agree to be in the same space as her again.

You need to cut your toxic sister out. It’s going to be hard but you need to stop putting yourself in a place where she can say cruel things to you. Now if this isn’t an option for you then you need to get a shiny back bone and blow her shit up!! When she makes another mean comment to you look her dead in the eyes and ask “what’s it like acting like our mother” and leave it at that she’s acting just like your mother from what it seems like she may not physically be abusing you but she is verbally abusing you

Samesies! My sister, whom had the brunt of the abuse, despises my guts because I succeeded. She was a poor student, that made terrible choices and and had a shitty hand, but that was t my fault. She always thought that I don’t deserve what I achieved and somehow, she deserves it more than me. We all suffered in that house, I dated better because I focused on studying and working hard to escape. Even to this day, she rejoices when I have had  issues like everyone else, but she believes I deserve pain and not just happiness and success. 

It’s a shitty situation all around. I am done trying to be a sister, or a daughter for that matter. It’s ok to walk away from the people that hurt you. Hurt people hurt people. 

Are you still in contact with your mother? If you are, I wonder if that's why she's still mean to you.

Oh friend I am so sorry this has happened to you! I can definitely relate re abusive parents and problematic sibling relationships!

But overall it is absolutely disgusting that anyone would ever say or infer that you deserve a miscarriage! That's super messed up!

Noone deserves that ever, and especially not someone so amazing and wonderful as you!

All I can recommend is for you to focus on what makes you happy and who adds positivity to your life. You are not responsible for the actions or feelings of your parents or siblings, but you do deserve to be happy

If you need someone to vent to or a sympathetic ear or anything just send me a message, always here for you x

I'm really sorry about your miscarriage. :( I'm also sorry that your sister is a monster. I wouldn't talk to my sblings anymore if they said something like that to me. Your happiness is more important than a relationship with your sister. She clearly doesn't care and doesn't like you. (Not bc you're a bad person. I'm sure you're not. It's bc she's an awful person). Maybe she blames you for the abuse you all suffered?

Funny how the sister's definition of golden child is "you got beat slightly less than me so you deserve to suffer." She's never gonna be happy in life.

Honestly, after that comment and lack of defense from everyone else, I would go no contact with all of them. And if you truly wanted closure, you can send everyone a message (except for your grown ass adult sister) “since you are all okay with continuing the cycle of abuse from -whateverhernameis- and clearly don’t care about me, I’m no longer part of this family, thank you for doing nothing to stop a grown adult from abusing someone else” Or dont send the message and just go no contact, are they even worth it to have as a family when none of them stand up for you?

imagine being such a vile """""person""""" that you hold a childhood grudge so hard that you laugh at someone having a miscarriage. At least we know who the shittiest child is now too

She's an awful person you need to cut the toxic people out of your life for good.

Also love another UK can't sleep friend (while also hating why)

I’m so sorry for your loss darling

Your sister is a malicious bitch, I would evaluate how much you truly need her in your life

Self care is most needed here for your own mental wellbeing, please surround yourself with supportive & nurturing people.

She ain’t it and after this long doesn’t ever seem capable of growth 💖💐

I don't know that you will ever get her approval. I would write her a letter telling her all this. YOu don't have to send it, I would, but is me. The process of writing it may help. I would not try any longer. You are not a whipping post.

Now stop defending her she is a jerk. How do you stop the desire to love and be loved by her? I don't know, I have a sister like that, and I never got right. I finally let her go. I tried for decades...There was always something...I just couldn't be valuable to her. I love myself enough now to not need her.

Nobody at the table stepped in? This is just awful.

If add to that top rated comment - “classy, you’re showing your colours there sis”

Your sister didn't ask to be a scapegoat the same way you didn't ask to be the golden child. Whats ridiculous is that she thinks she's allowed to just give you shit for stuff neither you nor her could've controlled. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Why don't any of your other siblings speak up for you?

OP my sister was the golden child, I was the scape goat, when I tell you what your sister did was so vile I wouldn’t do that to my enemy. I absolutely would lay someone out for saying that to my sister. Your upbringing was not your fault or hers, but she is grown and responsible for her actions and words. I’d go low contact, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

I'm honestly doing better without my sister's issues around. I hope you can get to a place like that for yourself soon. My sister is 7 years older and I was dumb enough to think that because she was older, she would come to realizations and healthier responses before me. However, that just didn't happen and we remain very distant. One time when I attempted to make amends for how our parents treated us and parentified her- she laughed and told me to grow up and let it go. I'm just sharing this to let you know that sometimes the best thing you can do is let people live with their ignorance. You can't make her reflect on the past or herself, unfortunately :(

I would have left the dinner right then and there, especially if no one defended me. Sorry you went through that.

In my opinion you should have caused a fuss. Reacted with tears, left the table, or said "How could you say something like that?" You're so accustomed to being a doormat, and she knows it. The more you take, the more she's going to use you as a punching bag for all her bitterness. You need to expose her. And it doesn't take much. No need to scream or argue. You just have to act more hurt when she hurts you. Especially in a setting like that, in front of everyone. I'm sure she's an expert at twisting things to make you look bad, but eventually, people will put two and two together. The hope is that she will do things that disturb others enough that they all realise the way she treats you is awful. But if you don't create consequences for her actions, if you don't show people she's hurt you, they won't feel any sympathy for you. She treats you like you're a joke, you need to make sure no one else is laughing. Cause truthfully, it's not funny. And stop making excuses for her in your head. You had the same mother, you haven't turned out like her.

There is no excuse for her cruel behavior! The fruit didn't fall from the tree. Clearly she didn't decide to be different than your mom. 

Write a letter detailing how you have no choice on being a golden child and point out that she's acting like mom now. Then go low contact with all of your siblings. You trying to fit in and be around them give her the thrill of punishing you and excluding you because for her it will be like punishing her abuser.

It really seems your sister's apple didn't fall far from your mother's tree, tbh. She really escaped your mother's abusive claws to become her own flavour of abuser and that's pitiful, really. Amelia is pitiful.

Don't waste any more time over Amelia. You didn't escape your mother just to let some jumped up prick treat you so poorly. It's time to practice 'Bored Indifference', friend. It won't make the things she says any less hurtful, but it'll starve her of the reaction she craves. Act like she's the most boring, two dimensional creature you've ever met. There are scribbles by a toddler with more character than your sister.

Live the life you deserve, OP. Amelia doesn't deserve to be a part of it. She can have her little bitch fits somewhere else, because the place she was living in your head rent-free should be occupied by something more worthy - for instance, did you know Greggs have a sportswear line with Primark? The timeline we live in is nuts. Amelia and her spite pale in comparison.

It's not you who is lacking. It is Amelia. She lacks the objective thinking skills to realise Golden Child is not a place of honour, she lacks the common decency not to act like an outright thug and she lacks the basic empathy needed to be a person of support. SHE is lacking. You are not.

You have my deepest condolences about your baby, and I believe you'll make a wonderful mother. Amelia's cunty opinion on that doesn't count.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also have fertility issues and did some failed treatment attempts. My brother, who was the golden child, was the same towards me. Told me I didn't deserve to be a mum anyway, that I should just get over it etc.

Berating someone's infertility is just pure evil. His comments stayed with me as I'm sure your sisters will for you too. If it was a friend you'd cut them out in instance, family shouldn't get a free pass to mock your pain and suffering, especially for something she thinks you deserve punishment for that is so complex as a relationship with a narc parent. I can pretty much bet that shell continue to berate your struggles with this as my brother never stopped either. After 2 years of constant berating or ignorance towards it, even when I was going through IVF and surgeries, I went NC with him.

This absolutely broke my heart to read for so many reasons. I’m so sorry, OP. Your sister sounds so cruel, and that absolutely is not your fault. You tried so hard, but it takes two to build that friendship, and your sister is too much of a resentful person to even try.

You did everything right. I’m so sorry she acted this way to you. I hope you’re alright and I truly do wish the best for you conceiving in the future. I bet you’ll make an awesome mom :)

I am sorry that you have had to endure a terrible mother, a terrible sister, and a miscarriage. You deserve some good fortune.

How is it your fault that your mom treated you differently, what should hurt more is that none of your other siblings defends you from your narcissist sister! I wonder if your sister knows she’s just like her mother now!! Smh. Such a mess. Whole family needs therapy. Older sister needs deep counseling!!

Next time you have to interact with it compare it to your mother

Write her a card and tell her that she’s a poor excuse of a human being and you may look a lot like your mother, she is like her. She’s not an ounce better and her behaviour is nothing short of pathetic. Her emotional and verbal abuse is something your mother could get jealous of. And the fact that she seems proud of herself and feels justified in doing that deals the deal. She’s a grown ass woman who behaves just like her abuser, her character is nearly a carbon copy of your mother.

Send the card per post and ignore any replies, should she reply. And gray rock from now on. It’s the best way to go with it.

You’re grown you no longer have to have her in your life. It’s ok to keep your distance and not subject yourself to people who don’t care about you even if they’re family.

Based on your background story and your terrible mother, your sister is broken, just as all of your other sisters including yourself. So keep reminding yourself of that when you think of her action. Yes, it’s awful what she said, yes it was unwarranted and upsetting and unjustified but no one comes unscathed out from such a childhood.

Personally I would let it slide and keep some cool off distance with her for now. At some stage you’re going to have to sit down with her and confront your past and childhood together. Ideally you all need some therapy.

If you’ve never been at the receiving end of your mother’s abusive behaviour the resentment is understandable. It’s not OK, but understandable. But if you too have had your share of bad experiences you need to share it with her. You can also explain the guilt you felt and the horrors you felt as helplessly watched your siblings being abuse. You yourself were just a child, what could you do? It’s not your fault.

You’ve all had a terrible childhood. Some worse than others and any anger should be directed towards your mother, not each other. All you’ve got it each other.

All you can do is try to redirect her anger. But this will take time.

That's not something you joke about. It's off limits. For me that would be permanent no contact forever territory. You don't need her crap.

tell ur sister this. tell ur sister every last thing you’ve done for her and explain you didn’t choose to be the golden one. you should also inform her she’s acting exactly like her mother. selfish, disgusting, vindictive people think that way and if she can’t see than she needs to wake tf up.

Jfc. She sounds like she takes after your mom more. Did your partner say anything about this? Was her partner there?

She sounds childish and cruel ngl. At this point she’s 30, it’s her job to heal from the trauma of her own childhood instead of being a shitty person

I’d cut this woman out of your life. She’s never been a sister to you and that won’t change. She sounds like an awful human being and that’s in her. Trauma from a parent is crazy complicated but can be overcome or at the very least made to not control you. She can blame you for something you had no control over but you don’t have to let her. Make your other siblings aware. Tell them that you love them and respect their relationship with her. But you were a child too and you didn’t have anymore control than she did. You aren’t going to allow her to abuse you, you’ve had enough of that. If she was a good person she wouldn’t want to continue having abuse in the family. But since things aren’t ever going to change this is your only option. You might miss out on some family events but so what? They aren’t enjoyable for you anyway. Make an effort to keep up a relationship with the siblings that matter.

So she behaves with you just how your mother behaved with her, that happens. Just tell her that maybe, that should do it.

A terrible childhood is not justification for being a terrible adult. I'm sorry for your loss.

She like her mother. Just get away from her.

Sadly enough, it sounds like the sister has become more like their so-called mother rather than OOP. It's sad but some people really will learn their parent's bad qualities and replicate it with a twist which then makes them clueless that they're doing the same thing.

Obviously, OOP's sister was cruel and heartless for laughing at her. She needs therapy if the past still haunts her. I have a lot of trauma from growing up in a turbulent home, you gotta fix those things to be able to live a healthy life. You can't hurt people because you were hurt. That's not what we do. Do not repeat the cycle, you'll just be making someone else miserable. No one deserves that.

Sister sounds like she is a narc.

hey first of all I'm sorry for your loss,

Secondly: you can love your sister, but that doesn't mean you have to accept how she treats you, because from what you describe she becomes like your mother, if you want to prevent that you have to make it clear to her that she behaves like your mother,

Tell her exactly how you and your mother are becoming more and more similar, believe me, nothing will change if you don't talk about it

She’s obviously blaming the wrong person right here.

Coming from one abusive family myself, i think she’s getting jealous and hurt because SHE think you’re entitled to the same abuse she and her siblings is getting. She felt sympathy for other siblings since she can see herself in them, so she tried protecting them/ favor them.

(it just like your mother favoring someone whom she think is a small versions of her) she’s becoming exactly like your mother since young without knowing. She became the one thing that she hated the most in the end, and she blamed it on you because it easier than to hate her own mother.

People often hate something so much that they inflict it into something else, thinking it’s easier and better. But then they don’t realize that they will never be satisfied with how much they torture others, because the real pain is calling from inside the house. If she won’t seek therapy, she will continue to become who your mother was. An unhappy person who wants other to feel the same thing as them because they’re too afraid to face the trauma themself.

Sounds like my ex who’s mom was a narcissist and hated his brother who wait for it is 15 years younger then him . He wouldn’t go to his wedding and feels sorry for himself . He’s now a narcissist like her .Honestly you did your best . I understand it sucks but what do your other siblings say about it?

Some people deserve a swift punch in the mouth and reality check. Not your sister.

How old is this woman?

Tell your aunt and siblings how you feel and get therapy.

While you might look like your mom, she sounds like her. I am the oldest and was the one who got almost all the abuse. Yes, I sometimes feel angry about things and occasionally jealous of how different my experiences were to my siblings, but it's an irrational emotion and I would continue to take beatings even now if necessary to keep them from having to go through it. I would NEVER want them to live with the scars I have to, and even at my angriest and in my pettiest moments I don't want them to have gone through that. Like, my brain can't even imagine what that would feel like to think that. I fought back and refused to let my parents normalize it so they wouldn't have to know what that was like first hand.

Abused people either grow up and swear to break the cycle or they go on to perpetuate it. Your sister is no longer a child and she decided to become the abuser she hated. It's terribly sad, but she's made her choice about who she wants to be, and that is to be a person that wants everyone else to be as miserable as she is. You also have the right to cut her off. Again, it's terribly sad, but you don't have to suffer abuse because she did.

She turned into a version of your mother!

Your sister is a bully. Tell her that. Just say bully and see what happens. Tell her she’s behaving like an abuser.

Edit: maybe you looking like your mom also bothers her, which is sad. I’m the scapegoat and I would never treat my sibling like yours has treated you. I would cry if I heard someone was treating my sibling this way. Then I’d rage and scorch the earth to protect my sibling.

I’d tear her to shreds and say everything you said in this post. She deserves to know your side and if she doesn’t care and nothing changes at least you said your piece. What she said to you was absolutely cruel but clearly all her pain and suffering is being projected onto you. So sorry OP.

I can hear your pain in your words. I’ve had two miscarriages and these comments would have destroyed me.

My second sibling was (and still is) our abusive dad’s golden child. I absolutely don’t resent her for this. In fact, I’m happy she was spared the treatment the rest of us were subjected to and am glad I wore the worst of it. I’m the oldest of five and have always been protective of all my siblings and we’re all close today.

It may be wise to protect your heart of go low/no contact with her. It’s up to you if you tell her why, but I think it’s time you do what’s best for you.

Best of luck on your future family ❤️

First, all of you need therapy.

Second, you need to tell your "sister" that Karma is for intentional actions. How can you have control over genetics that made you look the most like her.

Third, you need to point out that jumping on you at the first sign of weakness is something your mom would do.

But seriously, therapy!

Your sister is a straight up monster. She displaced anger that should be on your mother onto you. You weren't the golden child, you were the slightly less abused child. Hell, maybe she even favored you as a form of abuse; sowing resentment between you and your siblings.

It's sad, what you all went through, but that does not make your sister any less of a fucking trashfire. Send her a link to this post and then block her permanently.

You dont sound like the golden child to me. You sound like the black sheep of the family. Your other siblings are a part of the octracism too even if they arent bullying you directly.

I don't know if this is my place to say this since I am young. It's better to leave them and focus only on your own family. They are not your family anymore just poison-filled people that wish nothing but negative hurtful things about you.

And I hope one day you get blessed with a child.

Tell her that sounds like something your mom would say

Honey is common to have a miscarriage. Tell her that is not karma at all and say I tried to get you to like me but no you blamed me.

You may be the golden child but she is the one who takes after your mom.

"I may have been mom's favorite, but you're her mini me"

OP she doesn’t hate you. She’s jealous and envious of everything you do and are. Starting with being “the golden child” and leading up to saying horrible things about your miscarriage. She is projecting her own insecurities about her position in the family and with your mother onto you.

Tell her she’s acting like your mom, even if it causes her a mental breakdown, maybe then she will see it

0000000000 0 000000 0 00p00000ppppp oligopoly O 0 O O 0 oPpo

This is shocking because it’s fiction. As an avid reader of a lifetime, the cadence and word choice, the forced and stiff grammatical sentence structures… and the lack of responding to any comment thus far? 

It’s fiction. 

Next time just say you may look like your mom on the outside, but she’s just like your mom on the inside - a mentally ill, abusive cunt with a nasty personality disorder. Then cut her out of your life. I’m sorry for your loss.

in my recent history you can see some links to help you work on the codependency and attachment issues that you have. otherwise you would see your abusive sister for who she is.

First I'm so sorry. Both for your miscarriage and having to hear that from family so soon from it. There's nothing you did or ever will do to deserve that.

Ngl, my very oldest brother and I had a similar dynamic (except neither of us were the GC; my sister was) so whenever he'd started up, I'm overtly like "why the hell are you talking to me?" "why the hell is my name in your mouth?" every single time. I was at the point of scorched earth so anyone defending him would get a similar treatment. If they were going to treat me like trash, I'd rather be an active reason why. I don't know what the actual catalyst was for him to go on and apologize to me (i have a few guesses), but our relationship has thawed enough for him to not be hostile and for me to not see him as being hostile

You're probably not like me and your sis doesn't seem like the self reflecting type, so my suggestion is to go very low contact and put them on a information diet. At least until you recover. This worked with my other brother and non immediate family members and also gave me peace of mind. At the very least, find a way to celebrate your wins and losses away from your family before you share it with them

I’m sorry for your loss, i hope you get another chance soon to he the mother you want to be🤍. and i’m sorry my comment may sound off but why did you and your husband stayed silent when she said that?! She made fun of your trauma in your face in front of others and u took it and continued to sit there like? Why? No reply? no “you’re being insensitive jerk, get over yourself you’re a grown up now act like it, seek therapy, you sound like our mom congratz” anything to stand up for yourself and where is the husband! Why are you ppl taking disrespect so easily when they’re so hurt and going through hard time. If you don’t reply to these ppl then you need to cut them off your life entirely.