Does anybody know where I can find resources for caregivers and loved ones of a person with a brain injury?
Background: my partner was hit and then run over by an SUV nearly a year ago, and I've been helping to give care to her since. She had a fractured skull and a brain bleed, and it she was foul-mouthed before, it's way worse now. She left the hospital too early AMA and she wouldn't have been able to come back if I wasn't here to help her with everything from spoon feeding to meds to wiping herself and lifting her in and out of bed etc.
Prior to the injury she had a short fuse, now she's downright abusive. She had other mental illnesses before, but it's so much worse now. She has seizures and memory problems and all kinds of other symptoms. Worse, she refuses to see a neurologist to follow-up, and won't get treatment for injuries sustained during accident that require surgery. We've been butting heads lately, I can never get a word in edgewise, she calls me names, throws things, bangs her head up against the wall, recently she threw away every card and love note I've given her. She cut up every picture of us and she has a picture of she and her ex displayed in her room. We sleep separately because I thrash in my sleep due to nightmares.
Another thing she does is confabulates (she says things like she died from the accident, she had seven death strokes, things that never happened). I have to hear over and over information and stories she's told before, especially about the accident and getting no justice because she decided to be vigilante-like and ran after the speeding SUV, and either she got in his way or he swerved to hit her. I understand she's got memory loss, so I'm extra patient with her when she does this stuff.
Anyway, it's getting worse and worse, and though I love her very much, I'm sick and tired of being her target. Abuse is abuse and now she's mocking me for calling her behavior toward me abusive. I'm not sure what to do or who to turn to. She threatens suicide, she treats my dog like crap and says she's going to bring him to the pound unless I pay her (she bought him 5 years ago and he became my dog because she wasn't so nice to him before the accident either).
She calls our apartment hers because she was here before I moved in with her. She doesn't care about my feelings and blames it all on her tbi. I've let so much go but I'm no doormat and I told her the other night that she says a lot of hurtful things to me.
She was abusive before the accident, it's worth noting. But never has it been this bad. I'm too tired and I've stopped taking care of myself because my life has revolved around her needs, which come first around here.
Please, can anybody tell me if I'm a horrible person for leaving and breaking off this relationship for my own health and well-being. Lately it seems like she doesn't want me around anyway.
Thanks for reading and for replying.