To the people that made out of toxic households , i need some success stories as I’m losing hope rn

Serious Discussion

I feel like I’ll never be normal , I’ll never be able to adjust with other people. I already find it difficult to be friends with people who have not had similar or worse toxic ho useholds. Kids from happy houses nauseate me , it’s not like I hate them but I wish I was them and then I find it hard to relate and be friends w them. It’s worse when it comes it to a partner , like rn the boy I’m talking to , one of the major reasons I can’t be w him is beacuse he’s from a privileged house . His family is rich , he has the daddy issues and has had stuff happen but nothing too abusive . A while back I was talking to this another boy , and the concept of fathers beating daughters was foreign to him and I was just sitting there thinking damn his sisters are so lucky . I’m working hard yk. Im trying so hard and I think I’ll make it out of this house. I will have a Job and small house . But I don’t think I’ll be able to have normal emotional bonds with anyone . Idk what it’s like to be from a mundane house .

in SeriousConversationby bloodysnotonfinger

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No_Performance8733

Get treatment for your nervous system. Make this a lifelong habit.

CPTSD is a nervous system condition. Some antidepressants can help protect and heal your nervous system.

Work with professionals.

See you on the other side!

talia_analogy

For me, the way I got out was through education. I was able to attend a university far away and never looked back, but I understand this is very unrealistic for most people.

The hardest thing is starting from rock bottom. I remember applying for apartments and despite having the money in savings, I did not have a guarantor or stable income and so no one wanted to rent to me, I almost became homeless. But, despite all the hardship, I made it out ok. I don’t live a glamorous life; I can’t afford to travel, I have no one to depend on, and my savings aren’t significant. But, I am happy and free. I have made peace with my current living situation. I have my own small space, a job, and new friends.

My biggest piece of advice before leaving home is to save as much money as possible. It’s expensive being on your own.

Impossible-Tax3804

You’re going to put all your anger and focus to education to a decent job. Not just college education but also learning social skills, financial literacy, and random advices that will help you. That’s your key to freedom - financially and a means to get away from your family and insurance for therapy. You have to focus on building a stable happy support system to replace your family and any toxic friends/groups. It’ll be made of college friends, work friends, neighbors, etc. Build that relationship slowly and strongly. Do not fall into the trap of getting into a toxic romantic relationship and know the signs of emotional and mental abuse.

Don’t covet your struggles. Covet the fact that you will overcome and teach others in similar situations from your experience.

Naharavensari

I moved out when I turned 18, moved several states away and had to basically live on my own with my older (irresponsible) sibling.

It was hard, I was angry a lot, but with random bits of therapy and time things got better. I met my now spouse and I get to spend my life filled with love and support. Even while I'm going through a major health crisis, I feel safe.

You can make it too. Once you are out you need to commit to helping yourself with the trauma and pain. That's is what will truly hold you back.

dandeliondriftr

I was able to graduate from high school early by taking extra classes and I got the hell out of there. I was lucky and met my now-husband in college and moved in with him. We have a happy life together and I'm working my ass off in therapy but things now are much brighter. Best wishes to you on your journey!

g3neric-username

My husband grew up in a toxic environment. It’s not my place to give all the details but his childhood included abuse, a parent in jail, one in rehab, homelessness, foster care… He did get therapy after the traumatic death of one of his parents. He’s now worked for the same company for 11 years, he’s currently working on getting his degree, our marriage is a happy & healthy one, he’s an amazing stepdad to my daughter. I view him as a success story.

I wish you all the best.

snakecharmersensei

Get into therapy. The down side is that when you come out of it, on the other side, you'll see how screwed up most people are and will have trouble finding mentally healthy people to mingle with. I would start with the book "Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Joseph Nguyen. It's a life changer.