How do you enjoy a place while you’re still there?

Gratitude. Learning not to wish my life away, because then we are always saying "if I could only move" "if I only had a better job"."if I could only meet someone special" learning happiness is right where you are, because otherwise we are always wishing we were somewhere else and we will never be living in the current moment.

Instead of all the energy focused on the getting out:
1-volunteer (in an area that interests you or is a need where you live)
2-expand your routines/places you know - explore- whether on foot, by bus, by car- learn, be curious
3-be open - intend that this time be a time of growth for you- classes on line, learn how to play an instrument or learn yoga or a language (all free online)
4-explore what is free in your community including classes at library
5-join something - running/biking/hiking or gaming or birding group
6-create an activity or group that would interest you (thru meetup or reddit).
Commit to focus on expansion. Growth. In ways you don't even imagine. All things to prepare you for a richer life and if part of what has you stuck is you - look into therapy (and if any local groups or free services).
Many people I know will say (in retrospect) they grew the most or gained the most impetus/skill set or information needed WHILE they could not move as they wished.
t is a time when one is not distracted by all the promise and new. Stop focusing on what a place should be or even on enjoyment and instead- what can enrich each day and how can you give back. That can include church, lectures, art, walks or volunteering with kids, animals, unhoused, elderly, prisoners, environmental causes or online nonprofits needing staffing.

Almost every place has something good about it. Are you close to the mountains or the ocean? Are there local shops/restaurants that you like? Is the cost of living affordable? Is there a lack of traffic?

Focus on the good and make the most of it.

Volunteer

I feel you--I'm stuck for probably 8 more years in a place I'd leave tomorrow if I could. I try to think about the things I like here, of which there are many. When I focus on the bad, I just drive myself crazy.

I’ve moved around a ton for the Army. Not one place would have been a Top 50 choice for me. (The Navy made better real estate decisions. 😂)

But….

Work on becoming a community member, not an inhabitant.

Whatever you’re interested in, I guarantee there are others, and kids who would love to learn it.

See it through someone else's eyes. Ask someone who moved there what they like about it. Invite a friend from out of town to visit. Make a post asking people what they like about it. Then do the things they like. Also do new things in the area you haven't done before.

Take the chance to see any tourist stuff nearby now, before you move away! I used to live in upstate NY and knew we weren’t going to stay there long term, so took the chance while I had it to see New England. Did every trip on a shoestring budget and it was 100% worth it. My husband and I saw some awesome places.

Maybe take a look at the map of NPS units (not just national parks, there’s like 425 units to see) and check off the ones within a 2-3 hr driving range.

Same dilemma here. I try to build in good routines around the aspects of life I do like. For me it's lots of things in easy walking distance and free/cheap public transport to get around. Just getting out regularly has been good for me.

Okay, so I had a hard time acclimating to a place I was kind of forced to live. (It's where the affordable housing was available)

It took me a minute - I was raised lower-working class and I had to move somewhere affluent. It was weird to meet only well-off well-adjusted people. Like, where's your trauma??

Your issue is probably different. But I think the solution is the same. Just relax into whatever the vibe is. It's even easier if you know you're leaving - you don't have to judge situations, you can just enjoy them or bounce.

And personally, learning the history of a place makes me feel more curious and less judgemental in general. But I am autistic, so ymmv

Drugs.

I’m kidding.

I hate where I live too so I combined my favorite things: driving and dessert. I scope out new bakeries, pastry shops, and cafes to try their wares. I live in DFW so driving to these places is a necessity.

When I graduated college I was stuck in a city I hated for a year. I used that time for personal growth. Saving money, working out, self care, learning a new language, etc. Focus on making yourself the best version of you as you prepare to move elsewhere

Last year i started going out. I figured if I'm leaving the state in 1 to 3 years, I may as well treat this as an "extended vacation".

So I pretended that I was a remote worker having just arrived in my state, then knowing that I'll leave soon, I started putting together an intinary of places to see and things to do that I have never done before, because frankly, if I'm leaving Arizona-- I'm never coming back.

Even things I'm marginally interested in, like in a "huh, this sounds pretty cool I guess...but I'm not that interested" way. I sucked it up and did it for over a year.

All of a sudden, I'm struggling with the idea of leaving my state haha 🤣. I came up with some cities or small towns to live in in my state that I "wouldn't mind going to if I had the means".

For the most part, while I still hate my state's weather and bland beige-ness everywhere, I no longer HATE my state. I instead, wished that if I had to move to my state those years ago with my parents, that they should have chosen a different county to live in because the Phoenix metro sucks ass.

No amount of "cool things" can redeem the Phoenix metro especially if it's still 118°F in the summers.

Ask yourself what a tourist would do. Do that 

mushrooms 

Go out regularly find all the festivals and force yourself to go. I still didn’t like where i was but i felt like i was at least trying my best to not spiral. Met some cool people had some fun.

I wish there was a way you could know you were in the good old days before you left them.

Im in the same place as you heres my gameplan. - start a new hobby thats active (for me probably tennis) - make more friends ones I can have deeper connection and community with and go on trips with - DONT stay at home its when I spiral and remember I hate where I live

Message me if you need an ear!

I'm a person that honestly likes most places, I find places easy to get interested in and to enjoy. I can move to a new city and be talking to locals about what I'm doing on a weekend and list off some kind of event that's been going on for years that they never came across because they weren't looking and I was.

I've moved around a fair bit and left places because they weren't a right fit and I still miss things about each one desperately because pretty much every place has something unique and wonderful about it that you can't just pick up and move.

Some ideas:

If you struggle with the climate: Upgrade your gear so you can be more comfortable in a wider range of weather. Do the vitamin D and the sun lamp if you're someplace gloomy, learn to get up at 5am if you're in a hot desert, embrace your southern lady vibes and rock gently on a porch with an iced tea if you're somewhere swampy. Take advantage of every moment of "good" weather, whatever that means to you.

Learn the rhythms of where you live- become a regular at a farmers market and learn the seasonal ebbs and flows, what produce is specifically good where you are and when. Hit up a park, nature center, botanical garden not only on peak seasons but also the shoulder and off seasons. Learn about the special things that only happen in the "bad" weather. Tune your eye to see the specific beauty of the specific place. Don't be my old coworkers in Seattle that looked at a lush desert and only saw rocks.

If you like history (and honestly even if you don't) get into the hyperlocal history of where you live. Hit up a county history center or archive. Stop and read all the historic plaques. Learn enough that you can spot the wrong ones and roll your eyes about how people try to present where you live. Marketing is hilarious even when it's pretending to be history.

Go to a festival, and then go again next year. Yes, even the one that's too hot and everything's overpriced and there's nothing to do. Find the weirdest festival within a reasonable travel distance and drag a friend with you.

I bet there's an annual parade for something somewhere near you. You should go to it. Random parades are such a weird community vibe I love them.

Become a regular at the library or rec center or both. Read the bulletins with events. Go to one! Go back to the library again and appreciate how the vibe of your library does or does not line up with the vibe of your community.

Be a tourist. Like, straight up get on the tourism site for your city, state, wherever you are and see what they think people should do. Do the one that seems fun, or tolerable, or weird, or like it might be a good story.

Learn a new thing. Take up a new sport or activity, the more niche the better. Bonus points if it's weirdly specific to where you live.

Go to community theater. Shakespeare in the park, the annual outdoor musical, the annual high school musical, the community theater on main street that's putting on Our Town for the 5th year in a row.

Focus on what’s good about where you are.

I really enjoyed living in a big city. But due to life circumstances stances, I ended up moving to a much smaller city that I was very nervous about. I was very nervous about the move, but I was determined to enjoy my time there.

The new city lacked the culinary scene that I had grown accustomed to. It lacked the cultural festivals I enjoyed attending. The city parks were lacking.

BUT the hiking was great, there was one type of cuisine that was world class, and the night sky was incredible due to very low light pollution. I didn’t grow up hiking, but I decided to give it a try when I got there—I love it. I also bought a telescope and would go look at the stars and planets; I made friends who had much nicer telescopes.

Try to seek out what your town offers. I guarantee it offers something. Try it out.

You can't enjoy a place you hate. Pull up the stakes and leave. You'll love the choice you made a few years down the road.

I LOATHE where I live so I focus on what I do like - my house is lovely, my grandbaby is nearby, my home office is a delight...and I try not to let my geographical location bother me. I have truly been VERY upset with where I used to live and I just tried to lean into the area I was "stuck" and made some amazing memories along the way.

For me it's people. I could live in messed up places if I have people to hangout with

following! I have essentially 4 months left of where i'm stuck living in a place I hate until I get to move lol

Shoplifting!

I hate the place I live so much that the hate actually prevents me from trying anything new anymore. I hate the place, it’s weather, it’s people and everything about it. It’s a seething, festering hatred too like a pot of hot lava, getting hotter and hotter every day. I have no friends or family anywhere near me. I wake up depressed and go to bed depressed. It’s sucking my life from me.

Unfortunately, for someone who has moved to 3 different cities, where you live matters less than your perception and mental health. Youre always going be where you go.

Find a hobby/class/group that is of interest to you. Years ago I found myself newly single in Birmingham after the end of the marriage that brought me there. Had a house and job to keep me rooted there for a while, but didn’t love it as a single (it was a very married town then).

Signed up for a whitewater canoeing class. Had a lot of fun with that, met a cool niche of people to do it with, one of whom I really hit it off with. She wasn’t from there and was over it as well, so after a while we moved away together. 25+ years and 3 kids later, taking that class was a good decision.

I almost moved to a new city. Went out there for a long weekend to check it out. Made me realize where I live isn’t that bad of a place.

Gratitude practice. Learn to utilize the phrase "I'm sure going to miss x when I'm gone." Use it for the pieces of where you are trying to leave if they bring you even the smallest amount of joy.

There must be some positives in your life and even about the place.

Focus on the positives not negatives.

I started looking for lesser known gems in my city, things like the fireman’s museum that were absolutely tiny and didn’t get a lot of tourists. Some of my favorite memories are the little hole in the wall places I had to put in a little effort to find.

Watch tv

Eat good food, surf , swim fish and get high on nature. We also drink and play music.

Pretend you are a tourist there! Take organized tours, go to the nature spots, try any good restaurants you haven't eaten at, things like that!

Try starting some new hobbies. Hard to be miserable doing something you love.

Especially hobbies where there’s a lot of meetups and a strong local community.

Probably a lot more out there than you realize.

I lived in the worst place you could think of in the US. It was in the middle of the desert, hours away from civilization, 120 degree summers, constant bodies found, every bug and animal is out to kill you, etc.

I enjoyed my time because of my attitude. It was a military base so I made some of the best friends I’ve ever had. The people who were negative and weren’t mentally strong enough to get out of their own head had a rough time. Your situation is temporary and life is short, just enjoy it while you can. If people in my situation can make the best of it, you can too.

It sucks but trying to force myself to like a place make me hate it more honestly. I’m stubborn lol. I say focus on taking it day at a time. Focus on hobbies that you enjoy anywhere and sort of make you focus on things other than the place (reading for example, maybe a sport you can play anywhere).

Im less than thrilled with where I live too. Post covid housing options suck so I’m stuck in a month to month extended stay “ apartment”. I struggle with this too. I always remind myself how fortunate I am to be living inside a clean safe place instead of living in my car or on the streets. I remind myself how blessed I am compared to the people living in war zones like Gaza and Ukraine.

Try everything new. New restaurant in town? Go eat. Middle school play? Buy a ticket and go, even if you don’t know anyone there. Local art show? Go see it, bonus points if you buy a piece if it’s in your budget. Get a city map and try to make yourself walk every street over the course of a year. I typically find that it’s not the place that feels stale and stuck, it’s more the rut of sameness.

I was ready to leave my home town 3 years before I actually could. Everytime I'd come home from a vacation I'd be so depressed. What helped me was making a bucket list of things to do locally that I might not be able to do again once I left. Sometimes you need discomfort to make huge changes in your life. I got 3 jobs saved every penny and got the fuck out. I made huge sacrifices to leave and now 6 years later I'm so much happier and I love my life.

want what you have don't have what you want

Alcohol

“Grow where you are planted”

I don’t understand this kind of stuff. I’ve lived in many cities throughout my life. Life is basically the same everywhere. Make some friends and find a job that you don’t hate.