URGENT - How can I kill the dog who looks at me full of love & trust?

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Change your internal dialogue- you are NOT killing a dog.
You are not executing him.

You are alleviating suffering. View this as the last gift you will ever be able to give him- because it is.
You are bearing the pain so that he doesn't have to.

But still he looks at me with big brown eyes full of love and trust.

Because he knows that you will look out for him and put his needs first well ahead of your own.

Will it suck balls? Absolutely.
But you have the power to grant him a pain free, easy passing.
He thanks you for finding the strength.

You’re not killing him. You’re giving him the gift of being pain free. No more suffering.

When my dog had kidney failure he looked at me the same way. My vet described him as feeling totally hungover, with nausea and a pounding headache with a body full of toxins, which is only going to get worse. Give him the gift of falling asleep close to you, not a seizure or something worse when you are possibly not with him.

I watched a TED Talk on the Emotional Cost of Euthanasia (which I highly recommend) by Sarah Hoggan that said “Your first rescue brought them joy. Your final rescue brought them peace.”

You are not killing your dog. You are rescuing them from a painful decline that will be worse for both them and you. You’re ensuring they get to enjoy every last moment, without a painful and often unpredictable end.

It’s horrible, and it sucks. But it’s one of the best gifts you can give a beloved pet.

My 15-year-old cat died at home, after a 3-week illness. Liver failure, bad UTI, kidneys in distress probably not far behind the liver. Thursday and Friday before she died were good days. She was eating, moving around a bit, playing with her toys on the bed. Her best days since she had gotten sick. I wish I had been strong enough to schedule the mobile vet to come on either of those days. But I wasn't. I thought, based off those two days, that she was turning a corner, responding to the medication. She wasn't. Saturday and Sunday went downhill. Then I took her to the vet early Monday morning. The vet basically said she wasn't going to make it to the weekend. I scheduled the mobile vet. Then as the day moved on, I rescheduled and rescheduled again, to move it up as much as I could. But Wednesday afternoon was the earliest she could be there. She took a steep dive Tuesday. I had to clean her up a few times. She had been on painkillers since Monday afternoon. Then shortly before midnight, she died in my arms. I don't think she was in pain, thanks to the painkillers, but I also don't think she was aware of much. And she certainly wasn't comfortable.

I feel awful about waiting. I was selfish. I didn't want her to die, I wanted her to stay with me forever. But that isn't how things work, unfortunately. I know you love your pup. Your pup knows you love him. You aren't killing him. You're just helping him rest. It's the kindest thing you can do, once there's no hope of recovery, and the bad outweighs the good.

Do you want him to suffer? He is suffering and in pain.

We have the luxury in today’s age to not have animals have to die in these “messy deaths” you mention, why would we want animals to suffer? He can go painlessly, knowing he is loved and cherished. He can go with just the ease of a nice nap (thanks to pre euth medications). Why do you feel there’s purpose to his suffering during his death? That’s a bit strange

When my cat needed to be put down, my only focus was making it so he didn’t experience anymore pain than required. I loved him and he was my world, I didn’t want him to be suffering or scared.

Euthanasia is a gift. I see it working in the veterinary industry everyday. It is better to make the decision while he is still himself and knows you’re there than when he is he on deaths door step and the euthanasia needs to be rushed… give yourself time with him. Do his favorite things for a day…. Take him outside and give him a picnic with forbidden foods before you say goodbye. Don’t let him suffer.

You aren't killing him, his illness is. You are giving him the best healthcare you can, and that includes letting him go and be free of the suffering ❤️ what a privilege to pass on, pain free and in dignity, with your best friend there - something even us humans often don't get. I'm so sorry he's so Ill. Sending you strength. X

I won't mince words, no matter the mindset you can or try to put yourself in, it's going to be very hard. Do it with love, that's all I can say.

Watch my post history, I had the same do it and lost him to the emergency vet in the middle of the night in a tragic way, he was in a super late stage of kidney disease.

I learned my lesson and will follow the “better a week early than a date later” next time.

It’s your choice but please think about what is right for your dog

It’s not about you. It’s about him. He is suffering. The greatest gift you can give is a peaceful goodbye in your arms. Do the right thing by him.

I have been on both sides of this. My first dog had cancer and we were ‘an hour too late’. She suffered greatly on her last day and I still carry that guilt with me. I put down my second dog just last week. He also had cancer, and was taking treats until the very end. But he was suffering greatly and it was time. Was it a week too early than a natural death? Maybe. But I’d do that over and over again to prevent the suffering my first dog went through.

Please consider giving your dog the greatest gift of a peaceful transition. A messy death is not worth it when you have the option.

There’s never a perfect time and you can’t save him. Do the best you can to give him a good time then help him pass. He wants you to help him and it’s the only way you can. In time you will feel like you’ve done the right thing even though it doesn’t seem like it now.

My elderly cat was actively dying, just very slowly. 

It felt like I was killing her. That is all I felt, no gift to end suffering  etc.

The vet said I could change my mind and take her home but it would not be a peaceful one and will go on awhile. Or we could let her pass peacefully in the arms of who she loves.

Either way her life would be over very soon.

Obviously I made the kind choice. It just took a bit for me to accept the inevitable.

I struggled with this question, as well. My dog was in liver failure and I constantly second guessed his diagnosis, symptoms, and the right time to say goodbye. The only symptom he had was getting pickier about food and his bloodwork was off the charts after climbing for years. His last week, his symptoms began to show, although not dramatically. I STILL tried denying it and making excuses for each one of his new symptoms. For example, his belly had began to swell so bad he looked like he was pregnant and about to deliver. My vet had told me numerous times that any time now would be the right time but cautioned me not to wait too long. I was so scared I was prematurely going to make the decision when we could have more days, weeks, possibly months. One thing I knew was I didn't want him suffering, so I told myself I would let him pass before the "worse" symptoms appeared like diarrhea, vomiting, seizures, jaundice. We made the appointment for the end of the week and checked everything off his bucket list. He, at no time, "looked like he was dying" to me and the only symptoms he had was excessive drinking, declining appetite (only for his food, treats were fine) and a swollen belly. The day before his scheduled appointment, he woke me up in bed at 5 am and cuddled me. While cuddling isn't abnormal for us, he never in over 10 years, woke me up to cuddle. I would start petting him and every time I would start dozing off, he would nudge me with his body to keep petting him, which again was something he never did. It was like he was trying to tell me that he knew it was time and these would be some of the last pets and cuddles he had. I can tell you honestly in that moment, I knew. I had talked to him for weeks about letting me know when he was ready and how I didn't want him to suffer. He was telling me. Even STILL, I was second guessing it after having such a clear sign. But then I got up, fed him, and walked away to brush my teeth. He ate his food and I was so happy, but I found a TINY amount of vomit in the room. I told myself it wasn't alot and because he had been eating so many treats this week, his belly was probably upset. Then I took him outside for a walk and he had diarrhea. I told myself, again, it was the treats. We finished up his bucket list with a hike and when we got there, he had bloody diarrhea. He didn't seem in pain and finished the hike and went for ice cream after. I called the vet and he said this is normal with the disease and he could slowly decline over the next few days, weeks or he could go downhill fast. He reminded me that now would not be too early. I knew it was time. I called and moved the appointment up for that same day, scared I would witness him go down hill that night before his appointment the next day. I loved my dog more than I've ever loved anything in this world, ever. And I say all of this to say, I kept my promise to him about not letting him suffer. I didn't wait to check off every single symptom of liver failure. I didn't wait for the seizures or jaundice. I'm sure my dog could have lived at least another week or more. He was able to run, play, hike, and still eat when he passed. He was still chasing squirrels and deer. He was still mooching for our food. He was still barking at the mailman. But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He went to heaven while eating his favorite foods, ribeye steak and ice cream. He was in our bed and surrounded by his family who loved him. He didn't suffer. He had the most peaceful passing, one we could all envy. I owed him that. While it was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make, I don't have any guilt or regrets. I couldn't have lived with the guilt and regret of watching him suffering just to give myself more time with him. No amount of time is enough with these angels and I would have rather he never knew suffering rather than got another few days, weeks, or months with me. Liver failure, among other diseases/illnesses/old age, isn't an "easy death". Dogs suffer through it. As their owners, their parents, their friends, I feel it's our job to make the impossible decision of when it's their time. If it's hard to think about losing your loved one, it'll be harder to think they suffered greatly at the end.

I unfortunately had to let my dog pass 6 hours ago due to renal failure. Selfishly I would of wanted to keep him alive but I needed to let him go with dignity and stop his suffering. It's the one last thing we do for our pets as an act of mercy, now I'm completely broken feel like I've lost a limb i live alone with him and now it's only me but I had to put him first and I was there right at the end giving him love.

Most of us as humans don’t get the choice to leave this world peacefully and we suffer tremendously in our last moments.

Letting our beloved pets go, who we have taken such wonderful care of all their lives, is the last act of love and devotion we do for them so they don’t have to suffer like we humans do.

Maybe try calling some at-home euthanasia services to discuss quality of life and what end stage will look like for your pup so you know what to expect.

Knowing the suffering to come and that you will be sparing your sweet pup from that was helpful when I had to let my soul dog go.

My partner and I have made the decision to give our dog a peaceful passing tomorrow. His body is failing him and has been for months. He has a very difficult time walking and his legs give out all the time. We can tell he's in pain because he growls anytime we pick him up, which we must do to take him up and down the stairs to let him out because he can no longer go up and down by himself. When you look at him you can see the sadness in his eyes and face and that the mere act of living is very difficult for him. This is an act of mercy and love. We no longer want him to suffer and be in pain, qnd we are alleviating his pain and suffering by giving him a peaceful passing. And he can pass in our arms unafraid, with us loving him and comforting him

He looks at you with love and trust because he loves you and trusts that you know how much he is suffering, and how you will break your own heart to do what's right and have him gently moved to the next place. Help him by being strong enough to say goodbye and let him rest peacefully without pain and suffering while he waits to be with you again

It’s the last and biggest, most selfless act of love you can give him. He’s probably hanging on for you, cause he doesn’t want to leave you alone. But our babies shouldn’t have to do that. We have to take care of them and that’s exactly what you do, until their very last breath.

Your dog’s kidneys are killing him, not you. His organs are failing, that’s not your fault. You are not causing his death, only his kidney disease it to blame for that. You are providing comfort care to help ease the suffering of a disease that is taking his life. You don’t get control over whether or not he will live or die from this. He will die from it. The only control you have is how comfortable he feels during that process.

My dog also died of kidney disease. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. He went out chomping on chicken nuggets. Didn’t even feel the needle because he was so distracted by how good they tasted. He fell asleep in my arms, chicken nuggies in mouth. The last thing he will ever have remembered was the comfort of being in my arms and the joy of eating nugs.

I couldn’t stop his kidneys from taking his life. I tried for 8 days in the ICU with dialysis. I did everything I could, and I couldn’t fix him. But I could make every last minute of his life high quality and comfortable.

That is what you are doing. Take care of your boy. Hold him tight. Tell him you love him. Tell him you’ll help him not hurt anymore. Tell him it’ll be ok. Tell him you’ll see him again, in a place somewhere where his stupid kidneys don’t matter and he can have all the nuggies in the universe without getting a tummy ache. Tell him he was the best boy and to be patient until you meet again.

You are giving him the greatest gift possible; a transformation of his physical pain and suffering, into your emotional pain.

I had to put my cat down because of kidney failure and those last couple days were so horrible. Hearing her walking around hollering, become incontinent, unable to enjoy a cuddle. She deserved better than to suffer another minute of it and honestly I should’ve let her go sooner. Instead my last memories of her aren’t her enjoying a good cuddle and a treat, but her curled up in pain and borderline unresponsive.

I know it’s hard to make the decision and it’s so much easier to just wait until they’re on death’s door. But the fact is that he is going to die of this disease whether you put it off a little longer or not, you did not cause that and you cannot change it. But what you can do is allow your baby to go gracefully and with dignity, where nature would not.

it’s true, nature has been claiming lives forever. But your dog doesn’t live in nature, he lives in your home where he’s always been given safety and comfort to the best of your ability. It’s still your right and your place to do what you feel is best the same as it always has been.

Edit: In contrast to my cat, my parents’ cat battled liver… cancer??? for I don’t even know how long. Poor guy looked like a corpse long before he was put down, but regardless he still had spirit and enjoyed a good cuddle. Our last memories of him are him eating some cottage cheese (his favorite) in the vet’s office and looking like his normal happy self. And I don’t think anyone looks back on that and thinks “man, we really should’ve waited for him to suffer more”.

I did this on this past Monday.

I took my beautiful cat, Stella, in to the clinic, and had the conversation with the vet. We ended up deciding on euthanasia right then and there.

I stayed with her till the last moment. Something that I do not regret, but also was the most devastating experience of my life.

I still feel like I betrayed her, even though I know I didn’t.

I’m not sure I should even be commenting, because I’m not sure this will be helpful, but I didn’t have any control over her failing kidneys. I did have control over how she would pass, and while I know she instinctively wanted to live, I also know that I couldn’t bear to see her in any more pain. I only had her for five months, but my heart is broken.

Death is a part of our experience, and we cannot cheat it. By choosing euthanasia, we are doing the best we can for our pets. That’s all we can do. While I’m dealing with my grief, I know that at the very least, she isn’t suffering, and I like to believe that her beautiful little spirit is happy and free.

I wish you peace with your decision, and consolation for your loss. Sending all the love your way.

Oh man. I have to say, I have watched people suffer in pain with no chance of getting better. I have watched someone have to choose to stop eating a drinking because they were in such pain and actively dying and they were ready to go and their body was hanging on just a little too hard. I have felt immense pain and suffering, but knew it was temporary. I can only make the decision for my pet that I wish I could for myself. Let me go before my last days drag on in constant pain. Let me go when my loved ones can be there holding my hand. Let me go before I am lashing out at my loved ones because I’ve been in agony so long. Let me go in peace.

Do you think he deserves a messy death??

The only reason for messy deaths is that euthanasia was not available.

This is a no brainer. How can someone love their dog and allow them to suffer?

You are not killing your dog. You are allowing him to pass peacefully. That’s the ultimate gift of love.

This is the final gift we give, NOT an execution. The dog has no concept of what is going to happen and when he’s whole on the other side you will have a new guardian angel.

Your ending your dogs suffering. All deaths are not clean deaths and as pet owners it is our responsibility to try and make sure our pets do t suffer needlessly at the end. Do you know how many people wish it was the same for them.

It’s a final gift we give our pets at the end to make sure they don’t suffer that actually shows our love. That we will suffer the final hurt for them so they don’t have to.

You are taking away his pain and burdens and putting them on to your own shoulders. It's not an execution, it's a shining example of the truest love, care and selflessness.

If he's a good dog, you owe it to him.

Would you rather his last days be in suffering? I let my cat live past the time he should have and he had no quality of life. I wish I had put him to sleep sooner. Animals do not have the same understanding of death as we humans do. My vet told me that the greatest, final gift we can give my sick pets is letting them pass comfortably, in the arms of whoever they love the most.

I will use your words.

TRUST. You use the word trust. He trusts you to do what you feel is best for him. Doesnt mean you will be 100% accurate but it means you 100% will do what you think is best for him. If he were in your body and you were in his what do you think he would do? I’d bet you both would have very similar feelings and opinions.

LOVE. The fact he loves you is because you love him too. I think if he could speak to you he would tell you off for even doubting yourself or calling yourself his ‘executioner’. Times like this are tough. We blame ourselves - trust me I am living it. My girl died in a room with strangers with tubs stuck in her while I was waiting next door. It was a sudden illness so I did not get the choice but I’d rather she feel asleep comfortably with me and not in a room full of strangers feeling awful. It aches so bad when I think of her last breaths and I wasn’t by her side.

I cannot tell you what to do, but try and look at your situation as a third person like me would if I were sat with you. I feel strongly you can make the best decision for him at the time you think is best. He will be grateful for that. I am not religious but lately I have hoped I am wrong and heaven exists - because surely when it is your boys time he will be up their waiting for you as I hope my girl is waiting for me. I wish you the best.

I know 💐

You're doing the right thing. My girls kidneys were also failing. One night she took a stroke that paralysed her back legs. If he is in pain you don't want him to suffer. You know when it's time

When I told my friend I was putting my cat to sleep that day, she said, “it’s the kindest thing you can do.”

Our pets have a gift we won’t even grant to humans. We can put them out of their misery and pain. They don’t have to suffer like humans are made to.

It's tough but dying "naturally" is more painful. I had to put to sleep a pet rabbit last year due to kidney failure as well. Kept her happy as I can and once her appetite slowed down and didn't want to eat much anymore I knew it was time.

i let my dog, Jude, go yesterday. wed been fighting an autoimmune issue for a couple weeks with minimal to negative results. he was done taking the meds, and i wasnt going to fight him to take them.

he did a good job, a real good job, but he was so tired. it was time for him to go check out the farm.

I had to put down my young cat because there was nothing I could do to end his suffering other than providing him euthanasia. I didn’t want to wait until he couldn’t eat, or was in more pain. I had to put my feelings aside for the betterment of ending his suffering that he already had and was to come. I had to put him first, my emotions can be dealt with later.

I definitely did grieve while he was alive but from the moment I found out he was terminal to the moment I booked his death date was only 9 days later. He still had an appetite and enough energy to last a week or even a month but I couldn’t stand the thought of him in more pain. He died in my hands.

Your dog loves and trusts you to put him first, to end his suffering and be there for him during his worst.

My lil guy passed in January this year 💓 Praying for you, you can do this. One day at a time

It goes against every instinct we have towards them. It doesn’t make sense. I know.

Here’s kinda a gruesome hypothetical but maybe it’ll be helpful…..say you have an incurable disease and you feel like crap nonstop. Sure it’s nice to get a scoop of ice cream a few times a day, but everything else is hell. You’re in constant pain. You know it will only get worse. Are you wanting to stick around longer?

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m 17 days out from saying goodbye to my little bestie. It hurts so much. I know. 😣😣😣

my cat of 10 years was diagnosed with advanced kidney failure too. it fucking hurts still after 3 months of letting him go. it was either he was going to die naturally with seizures, starved etc. or letting him go peacefully and quick. he went to heaven february 18. i always tell myself he was going to go either way. as sad as it is.

small part of me still does feel guilt maybe having let him go naturally but the other part of me is glad i didnt see him suffer to the end. theres just no way around it for me. CKD is a slow killer.

anyway sorry if this doesnt help. i will say that this is not goodbye. they will be waiting for us on the other side. every day I will talk to my boy until the day i die and i get to be reunited with him.

We put down my Tippy a little over a month ago due to kidney failure. When he declined, he declined very, very quickly. He went from being his normal self to not eating, laying in one spot all day, and barely even reacting to his name. Selfishly, we wanted a few more days with him, so we scheduled his appointment for a Monday, and they gave him medicine on Friday night to keep him comfortable. He couldn’t wait. It was his time. And Friday night into Saturday morning, he declined so much, so quickly that we ended up having to make arrangements for someone to come to our house on Saturday morning to stop his immense suffering. He was still breathing, but he wasn’t “there” anymore.

I don’t regret what ended up happening, and I think that was Tippy’s way of telling us he wanted to go at home rather at the vet’s office, but it was then I understood the meaning of better than an hour too late, when I really, really hadn’t before. This is the kindest thing you can do for him. That’s what the woman who euthanized my baby told us over and over and over, how kind it was that we put him first. No matter how incredibly, incredibly hard it is for you, this is an act of love. And BECAUSE you love him so much, you don’t want him to suffer. And he trusts you now just as he’s trusted you his whole life to make the best decisions for him.

Sending you and your boy so much love during this difficult time 🩷

You aren’t killing him, you are saving him. He’s in pain. He’s old. He won’t live forever. Better for him to pass in a painless manor with you nearby than alone and scared at night in pain.

When you PTS a pet, it is not killing, it is giving the animal peace from what ails it, from pain. Better to let PTS be done as it is a humane thing to do to an animal suffering from illness and pain.

He looks to you with trust because he trusts you will make the best decisions for him - even the hard ones.

Pets live shorter lives than us, so their quality of life is more heavily weighted than quantity. If your dog is suffering, the ultimate love you can give him is facilitate a merciful, peaceful passing to the Bridge.

It's hard OP, but it's the price we pay for the love we receive from our animals.

I'm sorry, first off, this is the worst decision we have to make, but I really think it's something we owe the critters who can't tell us I'm in pain, I'm tired, I'm ready to go.

We waited too long to book at home euthanasia for my cat, and she passed at home with no warning that death was imminent until the last couple minutes. That was awful, and I hate that we didn't book it sooner.

My dog, we took the proactive route: he was still wagging his tail when I spoke to him, took treats we gave him, and I wondered if we'd done the right thing. I wasn't sure until the vet who came to the house said that if she had to guess, the cancer that might have been around his liver had spread into his lungs.

My old boy went out peacefully on his bed, snoring like he'd just curled up and gone to sleep. His cremation and the return of his remains and the closure of his file with my vet were all handled by the at-home euthanasia service, taking that burden off me.

He trusts you to do what’s best for him, which is to make sure he doesn’t suffer.

I promise you, euthanasia is such a blessing even if it feels like a curse of guilt of "what if he couldve made it longer". My boy had been suffering and "acting tough" as I like to say. He had liver and kidney issues I had no idea about despite vet visits but I knew he was losing weight fast. I forever hold the guilt of when he flipped his stomach and died naturally at night. I should've put him out of suffering earlier and to me, I live with that guilt that I didn't do enough. Being there with your dog when he's had enough suffering is always the best choice. Please consider how passing with you that's relatively painless is much better than naturally

My friend. I chose to let my girl go after over 13 beautiful years with her because she had bladder and liver cancer and kidney disease to boot. She was failing fast and I could not and would not let my last memories of her alive be when she was in sheer agony and pain. She didn't deserve that kind of ending after the years of love she gave me. Your pup not only doesn't deserve that kind of ending, but trust me when I tell you that you don't want those to be your final memories of your pup either.

My girls last day was beautiful. We had an at home euthanasia service come so she could be comfortable and safe in her home. She ate steak all day, was cuddled and cuddled and cuddled, and when they gave her the first sedation shot, I was letting her attack a cup of chocolate ice cream. My last memory of her conscious was seeing her giant joyful food eyes over the top of that cup. And then with her sleeping in my lap, I told her she was the best and how much I loved her and then the final shot was given. She passed almost immediately with her head in my lap. Was it the most painful day of my life? Absolutely. I was a broken human for weeks. This was 3 months ago and I'm still not ok. But would I do it again? Absolutely.

Your baby deserves a soft and sweet goodbye. It hurts to make that decision but we take on that pain so that their last moments on earth are beautiful. You're not killing your dog. You're sparing them the pain and suffering. You can do it. 💚

He trusts you to do what is right for him. He's suffering, and will not survive. How can you call it anything but kindness to help him pass easily from this world? I will never entirely get over losing my first cat, but I will never regret how he died. My worst nightmare when he was dying was that he would die in pain and distress. I made sure he didn't, that he passed in my arms quickly and peacefully, and I am proud of myself for making that decision when it needed to be made.

He is trusting you to do the right thing. The right thing is for him, not you.

You will not be killing or executing your beloved, but rather offering him a dignified and peaceful passing. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP. It truly is the hardest decision to have to make but if you’re feeling that it’s time then it’s time. It’s not a decision that anyone takes lightly. Sending you strength and healing during this time ❤️‍🩹

Look into vets and see if they offer an at home service to make you and him as comfortable as possible for his outro. My baby went quickly when we sent her off, I just held her so she knew she was safe 🥹🥰 As long as you are there by his side to keep him comfortable, that’s all that matters!

I felt this way too because we had to put our baby to sleep on Tuesday this week. I think the emergency vet did us a real kindness in being straight forward when our regular vet dodged our questions and wouldn't give a straight answer. They found he had cancer and it had spread too far to help him. The ER vet told us while we could go for oncology ($6k just to start), they honestly didn't recommend it because we would be prolonging his life by maybe a month or two maximum, and he would be in pain and uncomfortable during that time. They also told us that while we could hem and haw about making the decision, he was actively in pain and they would strongly recommend making a decision that same day, and that if it was their pet they would have put him to sleep that night. That's what we ended up doing and felt like the grim reaper at the time (they gave us a comfort room to snuggle and love on him, but told us to press the silent doorbell when we were ready). We sat with him for about an hour just sobbing and loving on him, but I think he told us when it was time. He started getting antsy, but his face and body was so tired. I think he had hidden his pain while with us but when he was away at the vet, he didn't have to hide it anymore and we could see the pain then. It was the hardest thing I've done pushing the doorbell, but it was over fast and he was asleep while it happened. While my heart is still absolutely broken, I know there is no better way he could have gone than in his dad's arms being loved on and snuggled tight. We knew it would be selfish to keep him hanging on for our sakes while he suffered. It's only natural to want your baby to live forever, and it's easy to say "maybe they'll turn a corner, maybe tomorrow will be better." We did it because we love our boy so much we didn't want him to be in pain. He wasn't himself. I hope this helps you, I know it is hard. You are not a killer. You would be helping your baby with a last gift of peace.

I lost my baby boy (13 years old) this past Tuesday. As hard as it was to let him go, I know it was the right thing to do. It is a final act of love and your dog looks to you for comfort, direction, and peace. When you choose euthanasia you are not killing your dog (I felt this way at first too)- you are loving them so much that you are willing to let them go rather than existing in a terrible condition. I held my boy and cried, kissing his little head and telling him it was okay to go and that I loved him. He died peacefully knowing he was loved. It was my honor to be there for him. I won’t lie- the grief is devastating and you’ll miss him like hell. I believe I will see him again. My thoughts are with you and you have the support of pet owners around the world who have made this loving, gut-wrenching decision for their pets. My dog is buried in my backyard so at least I can look at his grave and I find peace that he is no longer suffering and he lived a good life. It’s tough and I’m sorry.

Giving him peace and rest because you love him is not a bad thing. Yes, we feel conflicted, but it is an act of love.

If it was my dog I would buy him a great steak or a Cheeseburger and then be there for him until the last second.

Honestly, if my organs were failing and I had to suffer a long, painful death. I would want to be able to prompt for humane assisted death when the suffering becaume too much.

I understand that it's a lot of emotions, and it feels like you are killing him. All you are doing is alleviating his suffering.

When we can not provide quality of life, isn't it better to assure quality of death?

You aren’t killing your dog, you are releasing them from pain and suffering. It’s the kindest gift we can give them. I just had to release my dog 2 months ago. It’s hard, but he is in a better place and pain free.

If you can stay by his side and look into his eyes as the vet sticks the needle in then you will have fulfilled that love and trust

Your dog trusts you to stop the suffering. Its the last gift we give them. It hurts us, not them. Their deaths should be painless because they are our hearts

If you think the guilt of making the decision will haunt you worse than the decision to make them suffer to save you from facing your fear then you are sorely mistaken.

maybe there’s a reason for it

Yeah, the reason is a lack of medical tech to tell when it’s better to let them go, and tech to do it peacefully. But mercy strokes have existed since we’ve been able to wield the blade. If anything, I’m thankful that we live in a time where there was no guesswork (because of testing tech) involved in knowing whether it was time; thankful to live in a time where I don’t have to be the one killing my pet while he’s fully conscious —I can even hold him as he “goes to sleep.”

I feel selfish to this day for letting my poor Tiger struggle on for an extra month, with kidney and antibiotic treatments that made him lethargic (he was too weak/had other issues that made it worse, to benefit), and a month of struggling to get up and down the stairs.

He was cool about it, because pets are quite stoic— but it would have been kinder I think, for me to have let him go when he got the first infection that made him lose weight. And not the second, a month after.

He was my first real cat, so I couldn’t do that. But I think my next cat I would be able to let him go sooner. It’s very personal… just know that when they say, for pets, it’s a kindness… they’re not kidding.

As someone who recently lost a beloved pet and found her body one morning, and having taken a pet who was suffering to be euthanized, I felt worse knowing that my most recent pet passed away alone. When I had the opportunity to end my prior pet’s suffering, I both knew it was time, and viewed it as an act of my love to hold her while her suffering ended.

We don’t deserve the love we receive from the animals who become our family members, but we can return it by giving them the honor of a dignified death and not allowing them to experience physical pain so we can avoid doing the right thing for them, even when it’s the most gut wrenching thing to do.

Edit: you’ll know when it’s time. If he’s still eating and ambulatory, it may not be the time yet. You’ll know. It sucks, but you’ll know.

It is the last act of love that you can give your faithful companion. Be there with him during his weakest moment. Pet him and love him, let him know that things are going to be ok. He deserves to be painfree and you have the ability to allow him to be painfree.

I was the person who was an hour too late. It was a very loud, painful, and traumatic death. Please put him down now if you have the chance. I live with regret every day knowing that my pup could've left this world peacefully.

and yes, animals have been dying "messily" for eons, but I guarantee you would not be thinking like that after your own pet, your family, died like mine did.

I let my dog choose his time, I have no regrets. That’s an ok decision to make. Just remind him that it’s ok to go when he’s ready and you are ready when he is.

Yes, for eons, animals have died messy deaths.

You have the ability to prevent your loved one from meeting the same fate. You have the power to be merciful - the very thing he looks at you with love because of.

I didnt take my dog soon enough It all happened when I slept...my dog had cancer id only found put 2 wks b4 I woke up sge was bleeding everywhere she bled to death she must of been in so much pain ..trust me u dont want this happening there was no warning she was walking everything seemed ok b4 bed then out of nowhere I wake up to a dead dog with her blood everywhere plz plz don't let this happen I still feel guilt its been 3 yrs she was my girl my soul mate my everything n I let her die like that its was a nightmare dont leave it too late ...

My mom chose to not humanely euthanize the dog we had for 14 years, her final days were her sitting on a blanket in the laundry room pissing and shitting herself, and waking us up whining in extreme pain until she finally died. You’re not killing your dog, you’re giving it the peaceful rest he finally deserves. Do not make him suffer until he finally just gives in and passes away, you’ll feel much worse with that choice.

Saying goodbye is hard, but living with a lifetime of a bad memory of your dog suffering before finally dying will be much worse. I promise.

Do you really want him to feel bad and suffer? You aren’t killing him. You’re helping him die peacefully rather than allowing him to suffer when you have the means to take it away from him. It sucks, it’s a shitty decision to make but it’s better than allowing him to suffer.

I’m very sorry, I know your pain… I had to put down my cat a couple days ago and to be honest the pain is unbearable. The day I had to bring her to the vet to put her down, I was trying to come up with excuses why I shouldn’t do it. But I’m glad I didn’t let her suffer and was with her while she was making her way to the rainbow bridge. I can tell you love your dog endlessly and I guess you don’t want him to suffer. You’re NOT going to kill him. You’re only going to free him from pain. It’s hard and there are no words to explain the pain.

I may sound crazy, but I can still feel my cat’s presence. It’s somehow calming. And I do gets signs that she’s still here. If you need anyone to talk to - you can message me anytime.

You aren't a dog murderer. You aren't executing your dog. You're alleviating his suffering before it becomes any worse than it already is. He's not being brutally killed, he's being put to sleep. The dog does not understand what exactly is happening to him, but he knows that he doesn't feel good.

You are being merciful. Sometimes we must take the pain ourselves to release our dogs from their suffering. I had to make that same decision and this is what I tell myself. And I stand by it. I'd rather suffer the rest of my life than allowing any other second of my dog being in pain.

We’ve sent four kitties in their way to the Rainbow Bridge over the last ten years or so. It’s hard; no doubt about it. I tend to look at the quality and longevity of life we’ve given them and the unconditional love they taught us. I always remind myself that their average lifespan in their natural wild environment is something like five years. Most dogs, cats, rabbits, etc, wouldn’t live long enough to develop cancer, kidney failure or other chronic old-age diseases. And, they are very good at hiding pain. Our vet has a special comfort room for the goodby time. We’ve held them and made sure they could smell and hear us right until the end.

I wish I could have seen just what my pup was going through and put her down. Instead, not realizing the extent of what she was going through, she went through a surgery and was put on antibiotics which masked some symptoms getting worse until right before she passed. On one hand, I’m pretty sure she passed in my arms, but on the other hand, knowing if I’d had all the information I could have spared her suffering, I would spare her that if I could.

You’re sparing him so much suffering, and sparing yourself guilt of letting him suffer. Letting him go without pain is a gift you can give him. Especially if you’ve talked to his vet about prognosis. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing a pet is so, so painful. Sending hugs and wisdom.

The sad part is that this is what we sign up for when they adopt us. I do not like it either, but when the time comes I have to help them. I can only end the conversation I have with myself that I would hope they would do the same for me if they could. I am very sorry you are going through this.

Your job is to put your dog’s needs ahead of your own. Do you believe that people should be able to end their own lives humanely when their suffering is overwhelming them, or do you believe they should just have to lay there and hurt as their organs fail and their body rots, until they die ‘the natural way’? It’s not natural to have medicine; for centuries humans died without any painkiller. SHOULD they have to forever, just because you couldn’t before?

Your friend is suffering. It hurts to die this way. Your logic is ‘well if nature is this way maybe there’s a good reason’? Really? By that logic none of us should be living indoors or have pets in the first place. But you made an exception to the natural order to, you know, be able eat ice cream and not have to live in a dirt burrow covered in ticks and mud, and keep a domesticated animal, so it’s also your obligation to bend the rules for those you have assumed responsibility for. Not just the exceptions to natural law that were convenient and fun for YOU. Hopefully that makes sense.

You are not ‘executing’ anyone. If the concepts of mercy, compassion and making exceptions for others besides yourself escape you, then yes, I guess there is no reason to not just let an animal that has given you everything die in pain. Or, you can give them the last gift you can give them and be kind as payment for the life of friendship they offered you unconditionally. You do understand what love and trust is, you said yourself you can see it in his eyes. So it hasn’t escaped you. Do the right thing for your friend. It’s okay to do it. An ‘execution’ is definitely the wrong word for it. The word is ‘mercy’, born out of love.

It’s very hard for the one staying behind, so hugs.

Like you said he doesn’t feel well and he fully trusts that you are making the best decision for him. You aren’t killing him- all you are doing is helping him feel better.

He knows he’s loved.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. The truth is that your baby is dying. Of course, you could hold him and wait for time to run its course. This may be a peaceful death in his sleep or it could be painful and scary. They dont have the words to share their concerns the way humans do. There is no right answer but, I chose to euthanize my sweet girl. I did this so she could leave this earth peacefully but it truthfully was the hardest thing I have ever done. The words ‘kill’ and ‘execute’ are words I have used with myself so I don’t judge. You obviously dearly care for your little guy and they know that whatever you do it will be with love.

It is the most loving thing to do. End suffering. You will question yourself and feel guilt. Be easy on yourself and remember all the good times you had.

Like others have said, kill is probably not the right word to use. You hold them and love them during the last precious moments and let them know everything is going to be ok.

He trusts you to take care of him and ease his pain. How can you look at a dog who loves you unconditionally and let him suffer?

Change the way you think.

You are entrusted to be the guardian and custodian of your pet. You give them love and share your life with them. And it is your job to know when to let them pass with compassion and dignity.

See if you can have someone come to your house if that’s easier. Be with them when it’s time to say goodbye. They always look for their loved ones when they feel it’s time to leave. It’s scary and it’s honestly one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but it’s part of the deal. You get their whole lives but you have to be the one to let them go.

Take the time you need to process it, but remember, it’s about your dog. You need to give them a painless and dignified death. Don’t let him suffer. Let him go calmly and with you next to him.

currently dealing with the same internal monologue with my puppy who is also in kidney failure. i know that i need to put him to sleep soon, you’ve just got to remember that your dog still loves you and knows you will always do what’s right for him, and just remember that if he doesn’t feel good, you’re doing the best thing for him, putting him to sleep when it’s hard is the ultimate showcase of love. give yourself time, im in the same boat and my dms will always be open if you want to speak about anything.

I still feel like i am killing them, every single time. But i also know i am doing the right thing. So it is simply a burden to carry around, trying to not think about it.

I miss my buddy everyday but I know I did the right thing, he was in pain and already on meds for it but became too much and then he could barely walk. I’ll see him again and we’ll both be happy and healthy again. I’m so sorry you’re in this position and your best friend is sick, he knows you love him.

You owe your dog a dignified death where he doesn’t suffer ❤️

Preferring he die a slow, messy, painful death so you don't have to shoulder the burden of putting him to sleep is the height of cruelty and selfishness. And he deserves better.

Euthanasia is a gift. It's what we have to help the pets we love so dearly pass without pain.

I just had to put my best friend of 13+ years down yesterday(wolf hybrid). Don’t think of it as an execution, think of it as painless relief when the time is right. He let me know he was ready. He refused food, refused his favorite treats(chicken/steak), the life from his eyes were absolutely gone, it took all he had to even get up to go to the bathroom. It all happened over night and as much as it pained me, it had to be done because he was suffering in that state. He lived almost 3 years past when his vet said his body was going to fail from severe colon cancer that had spread throughout his body, it was honestly as if he had nothing wrong with him up until yesterday. You will know when it’s time because your friend will let you know, and please try not to think of it as an execution, you are taking the burden from your friend so they don’t have to hurt and suffer.

Ok, here goes. My 17-year-old dog died at home in my arms. She had been ill, but I wouldn't put her down because she didn't seem to be in pain. I had put my 16-year-old cat down a couple of years ago, and it broke my heart. I thought keeping my baby girl home with me would be better for both of us. Everyone else that had a pet die at home either found them that way after work, or they woke up, and the dog/cat/bird...had passed while they (meaning the person) were sleeping. Well, my baby girl didn't. She ended up having an active death. It was a messy, heartbreaking, and painful death. She couldn't catch a breath in the end. She cried. She stopped being able to walk, and then she stopped trying to drag herself around. I will never put one of my pet companions through that again. From now on, we will go to the vet. And I'll sit with them as they quickly and painlessly cross over. It will hurt, and I will cry, but I will know they didn't have to hurt one more second for my benefit. I loved her so much, and I honestly don't think I will ever get over the trauma of her home death. Because I did that to her. I selfishly thought of myself instead of her. Take whatever kernels of wisdom (if any) you can out of my story and think about it. I will keep you in my prayers if you don't mind. I know what a heartbreaking decision this is, no matter what decision you make.

TLDR - 1. call “lap of love” they will help you with all of these questions. 2. Really learn about the medical condition and what it feels like to go thru it and the stages and signs to look out for. 3. Prioritize your dog’s experience over your own the best that you can (I know you’re likely in shock and grieving right now) 4. Get an emergency plan ready for the worst case scenario.

I recently went through this … I recommend you really learn about their failing kidneys and what it feels like to have them go on you. My sister explained how out of it patients get (she’s a medical nurse) and I could empathize bc of my medical conditions.

I called “lap of love” it’s an in-home euthanasia service. They are phenomenal and even have support groups. They helped me immensely by preparing me and giving me tools to help me determine when he needed to go. He had congestive heart failure and his kidneys were failing him bc of the treatment for his heart :’(

TBH, I also prayed a lot for guidance on when to let my dog go. I came to understand it needed to be that week and we pushed it all the way until the end bc my sister struggled to let go.

We fortunately had an emergency plan with our vet who gave us a sedative that would keep him calm en route to emergency medicine and suppress the coughing (just symptomatic while he was drowning from the inside out)

I also knew it was the day when my dog told me it was his last day with us. He asked to go to the park and all that day he was the best boy playing “eat all the foods” with my sister who got him every fruit and even his own sourdough bread loaf. He was cremated with that bread :) He ended his life giving me and my sister the best last day we could have had with him. They love us so much and will mask their suffering. I didn’t believe it but now I understand to what degree.

He trusts you to make decisions in his best interest. Do you think letting him not feel well for god knows how long, until he slowly fades away is in his best interest? There’s also the possibility that he could get really sick really fast and pass in a traumatic way. I’ve seen this happen to a lot of owners who wait to put their pets to sleep. Then all of a sudden they are rushing their pet to the vet clinic when things get bad and sometimes it’s too late by then.

Your dog is a domestic pet. Not a wild animal. He should have the privilege of dying peacefully and with dignity, and not like a wild animal left to die just because that’s what they’ve been doing for “eons.” There is no reason for it, especially if an owner has the option to let their pet go peacefully to prevent further suffering.

If you let your best friend suffer to save yourself the grief I think you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life. Part of being a good owner is doing right by our pets and making these decisions no matter how difficult it is for us.

I was in a similar situation. My dog had cancer and his organs were failing, but he was still mentally himself. It broke my heart to put him down and I still miss him so, so much. But there was no way I could allow him to suffer and experience a bad, painful death. After bringing me so much joy there was no way he deserved that. Only good days for my boy! It's a blessing that we can give that too our pets.

I have a friend who waited too long with her kidney failure dog and the dog's death was not pleasant. She for sure suffered, and my friend is tramatized and regrets waiting too long.

For a long time I worried that I said goodbye to my boy too soon. But after hearing what my friend and her dog went through I better understood "better a day too early than a minute too late". There is no way I'd ever want my beloved dog to experience that, especially as his last experience in this life. Instead of suffering, he died warmly snuggled up in my arms, pain free and with a belly full of chicken. Good dogs (aka all dogs!) deserve good deaths, even though it hurts us so much to give them that.

Work with your vet.  My late cat had chronic kidney failure... But he didn't die from that.  His liver was failing out of the blue when his blood work showed 2 weeks prior he was ok.  Vet thinks it was cancer or tumor in the liver, which is common in elderly pets.  Kidney failure can be unpleasant due to how it can make the pet nauseous.  The vet can give meds to alleviate the symptoms.  Most elderly pets with this diagnosis pass from other old age diseases like cancer.  Your vet will know if it's best for him to go.  Generally if the pet (especially cats) still eats after being diagnosed, and they are relatively ok, they should be able to go on for a little longer.  I'm not against doing what you have to do, only you and your vet knows what's best.

When I learned my 12 year old girl had an aggressive, large liver tumor that was growing quickly (I could tell by looking at her, that’s why we went in, I had really REALLY hoped she was just maybe constipated), I asked the vet thru tears, how long…a month?? Thinking I was dramatic saying a month when surely she had much longer, she was perfectly normal except for a slightly rounder tummy. She told me, hopefully, maybe more! She gave me 2 different types of pain meds and told me, you’ll know.

The next 13 days were what I imagine a purgatory is like. Seeing her want to do all her normal things and for the most part us doing them, but seeing her with less breath and slowing way down. From what I knew, the tumor was rapidly growing and causing fluid to accumulate. Eventually it could get in her lungs and it would be like slowly drowning to death. But she was still herself nearly everyday! I couldn’t even fathom how I was supposed to just one day decide to end it, almost like for my convenience or something?? Then 2 nights before I made the call, she had an awful night. Panting all night, could barely even look at me. I could hear a rasp in her breathing and her bark was different. Even though mentally she was still her and still trying to leap and jump and go on walks, she couldn’t. When I called the next morning for the in home euthanasia program, I could barely get the words out I was so upset. And they were full for the day so I scheduled it for the next day. That night was hard, she was so uncomfortable. Right before the vet showed up, she still wanted to go on a short walk. She drank and had a bite of some food. Still barked at the vet. It was surreal because it does feel like you’re snuffing out their life. But they couldn’t fix her and I couldn’t fathom her in agony just so I could have more time. So I guess my advice is just to watch your dog close, maybe ask for some pain meds like they gave me, and when you think it’s too much, that’s when you’ll know it’s time. I know some dogs can mask it well, but heavy panting, not interested in drinking and eating, less potty are all signs you should notice of them in pain. I absolutely would not have put my girl down the day I found out. That didn’t feel right. And unfortunately it went much quicker than I hoped, but in the end I am devastated but comfortable knowing I made the right decision. Good luck ❤️

Be there for him till the end.

When I had to put my girl down last month my friend told me that the merciful thing to do is the hardest. If you love him please don't let him suffer, you can not keep him here because you don't want to let go. My dog got sick and had to be euthanized within 2 months and I would have given anything to have her back but she was ready. I would never have been ready. The vet told me that it's never too early. She went peacefully in the arms of myself and my son surrounded by people who loved her. I miss her every day but I couldn't watch her suffer and decline another day. Please don't look at it as execution, it's giving them the gift of peace. They only know today and that they are in pain. He is asking for you to help stop his pain, but the fact is that there's no medication that is going to do that. Once I realized that even with meds that my girl was still suffering I knew that the only thing I could do was to let her go. Have a vet come to the house if you can, the woman who came to help my Sasha was an angel and she made it possible for my girl to just fall asleep and she didn't have any distress. Please give him a great last day of love, treats and cuddles and give the gift of peace to him. I'm sorry you are going through this but I see it as the price we have to pay for the privilege of the unconditional love that they give us.

Letting them sit until they die on their own is slow and often painful, it’s unnecessary suffering. I say this with love and respect, but I think your fear of being without your pet has you twisting euthanasia into an execution- but you know that isn’t true.

Losing our pets is the painful price we pay for the honor and privilege we have of their friendship. Letting them go humanely, when they need it, is the best gift you can give.

We had in home euthanasia for my sweet old man in March. I still miss him every day. I just couldn’t watch him suffer anymore. I know it was the right thing, but oh my god it was and still is painful. My heart goes out to you. Good luck

If he has more good days than bad and it's managed by medication, then you are fine, but the minute it's not manageable and the bad days outweigh the good, then you know it's time.
He will tell you when it's time and though it's very hard, you will do the hardest thing in the world because he loves and trusts you to make that decision so he won't suffer. ♡

The reason animals have died messy deaths for eons is that there was no other choice. Existence has historically been brutal. I know you're trying to find a way out of dealing with this difficult situation. But I guarantee you that you'll regret doing nothing more than you'll suffer going through the hard choice now. I've waited too long to let go of a dog I loved and the regret haunts me. Makes me sick to my stomach if I think about it too much. Don't saddle yourself with future regret because you're scared to be strong now. Square your shoulders. Face reality. And do right by the dog you love by making the hard choice to let them go.

He trusts you to save him from suffering. Just like you've always protected him throughout his life. It's not killing him, it's the ultimate act of love. To put the pain you will feel from losing him aside and let him go, b4 his quality of life is crap and he's constantly suffering.

My soul pup had kidney failure. He had the most terrible symptoms at the end. We tried everything, daily IVs , hospitalizations, vitamins, binders. When they put him to sleep it was almost as if his body was relieved. He just went right to sleep in the most peaceful way as if he was exhausted , and that gave me comfort that he wasn’t in pain anymore. I love him and I miss him deeply, he was so very special. I mourned him the whole time he was sick, I knew he could not be saved, but I tried. When you love someone you can’t just watch them wasting away in pain. You will know when it’s the right time for your pup. I’m so sorry you have to go thru this.

If he is eating and drinking and not in severe pain, then I think it's OK to wait. I don't know. I just really struggle with it all.

My 17 year old baby boy passed exactly one month ago from the same thing - kidney failure. He seems okay now but it gets worse, so much worse. I did it before he would’ve gone on his own, but if I didn’t, he would’ve passed in a pile of his own diarrhea under the bed, cold and alone and scared in the middle of the night. Instead, he passed surrounded by his favorite toys, on a bed of pillows with the softest blankets we owned at home in and in peace.

The night before the doctor came to our home he had eaten food and I had hopes that he would get better but I found him that night at 2 AM under the bed shivering in a pile of urine and diarrhea. You don’t want your baby to go that way. They’re in excruciating pain and will not show it to you because they don’t want you to worry - you need to do what’s best for him, not you. You are not “killing” him. I had that exact same thought process and every ounce of my being wanted to cancel the appointment but I knew I couldn’t let him continue in pain and suffering for my own sake.

Trust me - you will feel much worse if he dies a slow, painful death. There’s a reason they say better a week early than a week late. You don’t want that on your conscious.

He's trusting you to help him be at peace, and when the pain leaves the body the love will clinge to you to hold for the rest of time. It's the right thing to do because you have him the best life and it should end without knowing a pain that he didn't have to live with. You can do this, give yourself grace and time. Know that grief is undeterminable and different for everyone.

My heart goes out to you. We just put down our cat down this year because of kidney disease. Hardest thing I had to do. The vet let us hold her while they put her to sleep. The vet said it’s the last act of love and kindness you can give your pet. I hope this helps. It’s been months and we still miss our girl and the way she would follow us around the house. But it was for her own good.

Hugs ! Our babies are energy, and I know we will always be with another, our memory of them keeps them alive until we meet again. You got this. Listen to your vet and finally listen to your baby. Be kind to yourself.

How can you force a dog to live with unimaginable pain, knowing that you have the ability to end his suffering???

This is the problem that most of the Western world has. We think more of life in terms of quantity rather than quality.

Even with people, sometimes, it's better to give them the option of euthanasia rather than making them suffer for months and years from a terminal illness that they will never recover from.

Because he does trust you. Your dog doesn’t have the ability to make those hard decisions for himself, nor the means to carry out those decisions. So we have to be their stewards and make those choices for them.

I had to have my golden retriever put to sleep. We elected to do it in our home. She looked at us lovingly up to the last moments. That’s how it should be.

God, I’m going through the same thing. My childhood cat is dying of cancer. Right now he’s comfortable, eating, drinking, acting normal. The vet gave us steroids and fluids to help because she thinks he’s still not in pain and he so far had a good month with us still. But I can tell he’s slowing down. I wish I had longer with him. 15-16 years seems long but it just wasn’t enough. My family keeps on having the conversation when we want to put him to sleep. Do we do it when he’s still acting like himself or when he just stops. I’m sending you all my love. This just truly sucks.

You’re not killing him, you’re giving him a comfortable and loving exit. He could die alone, confused and in pain.

We’ve had to put down a few animals that I loved dearly in my life and, though each was so sad and still makes me tear up now years later, I never viewed it as killing them. I never felt wrong for thinking it was the right thing to do, even when I was young. I’ve just always thought about it as sending them off to the next thing, a new journey while they wait for me to catch up. (We watched a lot of Lord of the Rings growing up and I think this line of thought comes from the part where Gandalf and Pipin are standing in Minas Tirith during the fighting and he tells Pipin “End? No, the journey does not end here. Death is just another path, one we all must take”)

I'm so sorry your darling dog is sick. This is so hard and takes all the courage and love you have.  It's good that making the decision to ease suffering is not black and white, but know that you're not committing a killing. Another perspective is the easing of suffering. If you've never lived with chronic pain it's hard to know how much it takes every minute to live with. Your dog is already actively dying. Kidney failure is so painful and dogs don't show pain until it becomes unbearable.

With euthanasia we have the honor of carrying the animal we love through the transition with calm, safety and love. Your dog is his own being and the moment is his. Not yours. It's about his journey from this world. Focus on what you want to give him as he goes and know you will grieve later. For now you are brave enough to give him a secure and love filled passing. 

Many animals and people are denied such a passing and no one would choose a messy end as the pain is insurmountable and can go one for hours or days. We wouldn't choose that for ourselves and we can prevent it for our beloved companions. 

I send you peace and courage 

our family dog had a sudden decline for a week, and at his second vet visit of the week a random comment of mine my mom mentioned to the vet led to her discovering he had total kidney failure. I’m so lucky that my mom alone at the appointment made the difficult choice to schedule him to be let go at the earliest appointment the next day. it was SO painful to coax him to eat his last meal and play with his toys with the energy from the subcutaneous fluids and anti-nausea meds he’d been given for his last night. it was SO painful to let him go after one good night! but i already had regrets that his last day he didn’t have the energy for his favorite walk, or enough appetite for him to even eat a bit of chocolate before he passed. it’s so awful, but I hope you will see it as a gift to let him go when your guy can still enjoy his favorite things ❤️

Be prepared. My biggest regret is not being prepared and feeling like I failed my baby girl. Do research, know what’s going to happen before it does. Ask questions of the vet before hand.

If he were human every step would be taken to preserve what he has left of his kidney function. Get with a pet nutritionist to see what can be done through diet to slow the degradation. Often, veterinarian Universities have medical treatment options your local vet can't or doesn't support, including cancer treatments.

Please think of whats in the best interest of your beloved dog. Giving the gift of euthanasia is the best thing you could do. Sending hugs

I have experienced both ways, i have experienced the painful, messy, unpleasant, and honestly haunting way that a pet can pass away at home and I have experienced the calm, peaceful, planned out, and emotionally draining but ultimately easier to process route of humane euthanasia. I will always advocate for a humane and peaceful passing, for you and your pet, over a possibly traumatic and tragic death that comes as the price of trying to get a few more good days. Your pet will not think of this as an execution. Your pet will be surrounded by love and be fully sedated before the euthanasia begins. You can guarantee that the last thing he hears is your voice, the last thing he sees is your face, the last treat he tastes is the most amazing thing he’s ever had! In my mind, this is the kindest thing we can give them.

If the dog is suffering, it's not enjoying life. When there's little to no hope they will get better, all we can do is spare them.the pain of a prolonged diseased death.

On a personal note, I once had a dog which was terminally ill and we tried everything to help him. For a full year he walked around sad, in pain, unable to control his bladder or anything else, had a bad back and simply had no more joy. Do not make our mistake, it's heartbreaking and no good for anyone.

I waited for my dog to die, but I think natural death was not a bad choice.

My first dog, we knew that morning that it was the day. One of her inoperable cancerous tumors had ruptured and she was bleeding internally. We stabilized her, gave her pain meds, pressure bandage… anything to give us more time. The hospital told us to take her home and spend the day with her. They would be on standby and be ready for the call.

The day started normal, and gradually declined. We tried to make the best of the few hours we had left. When she didn’t want to sunbathe, go for a little walk, or eat treats, we made our way to the hospital. The hospital threw a little surprise goodbye party for her… she perked up seeing everyone (she loved the vet). She got Chicfila and ice cream, she got belly rubs and so much love, and she was able to enjoy all of it. Then we helped her cross the rainbow. It was the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching thing I had ever experienced. It broke me. The only thing that helped my grief was knowing that she had an awesome last day.

My second dog also had an inoperable cancerous tumor. He hated the vet, so we pre-arranged Lap of Love to come to our home for a set date a week out. I wanted his last send off to be just as great as my first. The very next day, around 2am, he crashed, and declined so rapidly we had to use a make shift stretcher to get him to the car. We rushed him to the ER. The ER tried to give him chicken, donuts, cookies… anything to perk him up. He was having none of it… he was done. He didn’t even care that he was at a vet. The ER left us for some private time, but I just couldn’t. I started prepping his leg for an IV catheter just to expedite the process (I work in VetMed). The only thing that mattered to me at that moment was for my baby to be at peace as soon as possible. I pushed my feelings aside, helped them euthanize, and dealt with the heartbreak after.

It was not the goodbye I wanted for him. I wanted more time with him, knowing he had a bomb inside that could rupture at any moment. I gambled for time and I lost, at the expense of my baby. I hated myself for being selfish; the guilt was far worse than the grief, and haunted me for months. All he gave me was unconditional love, and I failed him when he needed me the most.

A planned, peaceful goodbye is the ultimate act of love you can give your pet.

See of this as his gentle long sleep and then he will wake up in heaven with all the other lovely animals, watching over you every day - he will always be with you. I promise he won’t feel anything xx big hugs

When I had to put my baby down, that’s what killed apart of me seeing all the love and trust in his eyes, but I felt like it was selfish to make him go through that pain. It hurts like hell and even 8 months after his death I still am not used to the fact I don’t have a beautiful and intelligent little baby to greet me at the door when I come home.

Our cat was 17 years old and we had the same problem. He had hyperthyroid and kidney issues. To be honest we probably kept him around six months longer than we should have just because we couldn't let him go. It is so heartbreaking, but what you would be doing is a kindness, it is easing his suffering.

It’s never easy to make the decision to euthanize, but once they start having more bad days than good days they are suffering. Their quality of life is no longer there. As the one he loves and trusts most, you would be making the decision to rid him of any continuing pain. It’s not “killing” as you say, but rather helping him along into his next chapter. I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. I struggled with similar thoughts when it was time to put my sweet boy to rest. I ended up realizing that his body was failing him and that he was no longer happy living the way he was. He was in so much pain and was uncomfortable constantly. I decided it was best to let him go while he still had some dignity left. And he had the absolute best day of his life before passing on. There was no pain involved and he was a happy dog on his final day.

You’re helping your friend, you’re helping your family not to suffer anymore…it’s an honorable and compassionate thing…

You are not killing your dog. You are saving him. You don't want him to die a slow and excruciating death. You are saving him from torture. You are allowing him to go with grace and dignity instead of his last memories being pain. Let his last moments be happy ones.

I had to put down my soul dog who had kidney disease for over a year down this past Wednesday. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but you’ll know when it’s time. Is he still walking normally, playing, eating, drinking? Once those decline it’s time to say goodbye. My guy was playing normally on Friday, having diarrhea by Sunday, and we euthanized him on Wednesday.

You are not executing him, buddy. You’re potentially saving him so much pain and suffering. Even if he can’t speak to you, he knows there’s something going on with his body that isn’t good and will be grateful for relief.

He is looking at you with love because he loves you and trusts you to do what is right by him, even if it hurts. I fully understand how heartbreaking it can be, but trusting your gut and not blaming yourself is best.

A calm, relaxing rest is all he would feel. He would do it with you by his side, loving him until the very end. Just another nap, with his human watching over him.

There’s an online Meetup group, Denver Pet Loss. It’s held online and includes people struggling with these decisions while their pet lives. You may find it helpful to attend. It’s Thursday nights.

There is NOT a reason to die a slow painful death. There is a reason modern medicine has continued to develop so we can help out furry friends go out comfortably and with dignity when their bodies and minds begin to fail. As a vet tech, I have to look at it like this to not loose my mind, but also truly feel this way. The euthanasias that come in and are barely alive are really hard to see too because you can’t help but wonder how long they have suffered in pain…

I recently posted in r/dogs where I experienced something similar. My best friend of 14 years had a large wound on her face that was spreading, suspected of cancer but 4 vets and the head of animal biology at Cornell was unable to identify the cause. Her temperament remained so positive - she’s a tough cookie - but her age combined with the illness was clearly taking a toll on her. I wanted to keep her but knew if I did it would be more for me than her. It was honestly the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I’m still struggling and grieving. But I’m SO grateful for the time we had together. That dog saved my life and will always be a part of me. I believe the same goes for you (maybe not the life saving part but the rest).

I’m so very sorry you’re going through this.

It isn’t execution. The literal definition of euthanasia is “good death.” Providing a peaceful passing is the greatest gift we can give our pets, and we owe them at least that much. Kidney failure is not something that will bring a natural peaceful passing, and you will have to see the life leave your beloved pet’s eyes. He will stop eating and lose a significant amount of weight, becoming emaciated as his non-functioning kidneys slowly poison his body. If he is having more bad days than good, say goodbye while he is still himself. Trust me. As a pet parent and a CVT, you do not want the guilt that comes with waiting too late.

Our pets do so much for us. Return the favor and do this for them. They deserve to die peacefully. Watching them die a slow, painful death for "more time" is for you, not for them.

I currently am in a situation where my cat is physically well but mentally not. He can no longer live in my home because of constant peeing. He stays in my garage with access to outside. He has adjusted but he cries to come inside and can only come in if I stay by his side. It has cause so much stress in my home with my family.   I have been dealing with this for 2 years with a short break from when I put him on Prozac.  It only helped for about 6 months and he is back to peeing everywhere again.  I have exhausted all other remedies like moving liters and sought a cat therapist. Nothing works.  My vet has said no person would have endured this for this long. Rehoming is not an option for him which I looked into as well and also as a barn cat, no one will take him because of urinating.   I’ve heard of many people euthanizing animals for behavioral issues but this is so hard and I am so heartbroken. He is 8 years old. I just adore him. Has anyone had a similar issue? I don’t have the heart to put him down yet my vet keeps saying he is suffering in a different way.  She says suffering is not always physical, it can be mental  suffering.  

I dont agree with "better a week early than an hour too late". That is a harrowing way to do this. You dont pre-emptively kill an animal based on anticipated FUTURE pain! The question is: how is the animal doing now? What is his QUALITY OF LIFE in the sense of do they still eat, poop and are able to walk and enjoy life or are they wasting away half conscious barely able to move? if the latter, then yes, it is the right thing. Not being 100% while still functioning is not a reason to euthanize an animal. My cat had a lot of quality time with me, 4 months, after his doctor basically said she was in end stage kidney failure. She ate, she played, she enjoyed cuddling up until the actual very end where it became obvious.

So it really depends on how your dog is doing? Dont Pre-emptively put him down, dont take his life too soon. They are sick so in many ways suffering anyway since that is what happens when you are sick. But again, just being sick and not 100% or even just 60% is not a good reason to just put down an animal who may otherwise still be alert, active, eating etc. Only you can answer that question.

Far out I feel your pain, felt the same way putting my cat down. Its awful. There’s no good solution or “right” answer. It’s just choosing between different levels of suffering. One thing I didn’t know was that when they are reeeally far along into illness, euthanasia gets very traumatic. Their body can’t metabolize the drugs properly because their organs aren’t working properly, and administering the drugs can be a horrific process, way more traumatising for both you and them, than if you do it earlier in their illness. Too far along and the vet actually can’t euthanize them, and they have to experience a slow, agonising death.

I think you should follow your heart. Euthanasia is a choise that only the tutor can make. Choosing it or not should not be judged by anyone. You are not a killer for choosing it, nor a monster for avoiding it. I think euthanasia tells more about us than the animal. Animals are part of nature, they are not weak, they are prepared to die and they face it, when it comes. We cannot see them suffering, we cannot stand it. That's why we make the choise. And it's ok, there's nothing wrong about it. But, in my way of seeing things, there's nothing wrong on the other option either.

Let him have a natural death at home. Love him till the last. Do not let him die in the cold clinical setting. That would not be his preference