Is it wishful thinking to travel at 5 weeks postpartum with baby?

r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear they will  replace moderators  if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.

Please read Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st  and new posts at r/ModCord or r/Save3rdPartyApps for up-to-date information.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

I can only go by my experience. There would have been no way I could have done a 2 hour flight and vacation 5 weeks pp. The sheer utter lack of sleep, I still had issues sitting, my daughter cried a lot, and I looked an utter mess. I think there was more, but honestly, it's all a blur.

Edit: Oh yeah, I forgot the hemorrhoids.... the God damn hemorrhoids.

You couldn’t pay me any amount of money to travel with my five week old baby. Hard pass

I personally would not have been able to do this at 5 weeks pp, and I had a complications free birth. At 5 weeks you’re in a haze, you may still be figuring out breastfeeding, bottle feeding, etc. You will be exhausted. Your baby won’t be vaccinated against a few things and the last thing you want to deal with is a sick newborn (a fever is an automatic hospital visit at that age).

My personal experience. I was MOH in a wedding 8 weeks pp and it was absolute hell. The drive was only 2 hours away, my baby was not welcome at the wedding, I was pumping every 3-4 hrs. I felt awful in my dress, missed my baby so badly, was so sleep deprived, felt like I couldnt carry a convo, got engorged and was so uncomfortable. I wish I told her no. I knew in my heart it was too much but I pushed for my friend and I was so deeply uncomfortable I cried throughout and afterwards. I can't even imagine a flight on top of it all. I would tell her there's too many variables that close to the wedding you have to gracefully bow out. Do it asap before its too short notice. Enjoy your newborn time (added) stress free.

Here's the thing: It depends.

You could hemorrhage out, need multiple stitches or surgery to repair a tear, or you could need a c-section (which is MAJOR abdominal surgery with major recovery) and you could be laid up for weeks easily. You could have trouble breastfeeding and be power-pumping or triple feeding your child. It could be awful.

But you could also have the opposite. Have a fairly uneventful vaginal delivery with no tearing. A couple days of rest, but up and moving pretty easily. Nursing could come super easy to you and your biggest stressor could be finding a dress to breastfeed in (if you go that route.)

There is frankly no way to know. I think you just have to be honest with your friend and say you'll do your best, but unfortunately you're going to have to play it by ear a bit.

I did it! Now, it was my second kid so I was feeling braver lol, but I took my 6 week old on a 10 hour car ride so he could be with us for my best friend’s wedding. He laid in a travel bassinet with the girls while we got ready, his dad held him during the ceremony, and I wore him during the reception (and he wore headphones). I had a breastfeeding-friendly dress.

Was it the magical and carefree experience I would’ve enjoyed if I went without a kid? No. Would I have done that for most people in my life? Absolutely not. But the stress and exhaustion was worth it for this once in a lifetime event for this particular person.

Note: Our child slept like absolute s*** in the hotel for some reason, so we drove the 10 hours home the very next day and left at like 4am.

I feel like it really just depends on how your postpartum is going and how feeding/sleep is going with baby.

Other thing to note, OBs know nothing about babies past a few hours old. So really taking an OBs advice on something for a newborn isn’t really appropriate. Pediatrician yes. OB, no way.

**this is in no way me bashing OBs. They are very knowledgeable and necessary for pregnant women and fetuses. But this is akin to asking a cardiologist why you have diarrhea.

I did a long flight and vacation at 4 weeks PP and was fine. But it's a variable. I wouldn't have been able to do that after my second pregnancy which gave me a harder time. You never know - you may be recovering from complications.

That said, "I just gave birth 5 weeks ago" is a valid reason to have to skip.

I mean…..my first and second babies both came at 42 weeks. The national average for a first time mom is 41 weeks 1 day. So I think 5 weeks is optimistic. And yeah there’s no way I would have been able to do that.

Everyone is talking about how you will feel 5 weeks pp but what about your baby and exposing it to so many germs in one of the worst times of year. Trust me, you don't want to end up with a poorly baby if you can help it. Me and my baby caught covid from the hospital stay when I had him. Ever since then his immune system has been weaker than my older child's and we've battled through so many illnesses since. I put it down to his immune system being weakened at birth from covid.

I personally wouldn’t plan on it. Even if you are physically well enough, the lack of sleep and emotional toll is a lot. Do you have the option to give maybe and decide last minute?

You don’t owe it to your friend. You owe it to yourself to recover and to your baby to care of them. If going to the wedding jeopardizes your or your baby’s well being, any good friend should understand. Maybe you can plan a special trip out with your baby when they are a couple months old.

There are two different questions here.

-Is it possible/doable to travel with a 5 week old baby? Yes.

-Will you want to travel with your baby ~5 weeks postpartum? No.

Bleeding postpartum was the easy part. The cramping is no joke (takes ~6 weeks), hormones are whack, your body just feels…squishy and hollow. It takes around two months for your organs to shift back into place. And then there’s the whole life upheaval that is having a newborn. You will be trying to relearn how to live life. Going to a social event will be very challenging when you’ve been in survive-a-newborn mode for weeks.

I think you should tell your friend you won’t be able to make it, but that once the baby has arrived you can schedule a visit. I would not tell her “you’ll try” because she’s going to hear that as a “yes”. If you do feel up to traveling after baby comes then you can let her know when you are 100% for sure you can attend.

IMO, you should back out as being MOH. Tell your friend you'll do your best and can't make any promises.

Buy tickets you can cancel and get a full refund on.

I love to travel and was super adventurous pre-kids. Giving birth was terribly worse than I ever imaged and recovering even worse. I would not be able to do this.

If you have a super uncomplicated birth and have no issues post partum, and are hellbent on going you will find a way though.

After my first baby, there’s no way I could have traveled at 5 weeks postpartum even though I had a vaginal birth. I ended up with a really nasty case of endometritis and was super sick for weeks. Plus breastfeeding was going horribly at that point.

I definitely could have done it after my second baby. I was fine as soon as my epidural wore off and I didn’t breastfeed. We had a much better sleep thing going on. I went back to work full time at 6 weeks postpartum

You COULD do this.

You most likely will not want to do this.

Depending on how the birth goes, you will still be recovering physically.

I would highly advise not doing this. Also one of the things that changes when you have kids is the whole ‘we will just go for a weekend’.

We flew transatlantic at 7 weeks along woth our two year old.  So hard to say but it's likely doable. Ours was a move though and not a vacation.

First birth, absolutely not. Couldn’t walk properly until 6 weeks. Second birth, I could have flown the next day. I literally went to a music festival with my 3 week old for 4 days (which was overkill to be honest). Either way, you won’t know until the time comes.

Look my best friend did this with her 1 month old but it was a two hour drive and not a two hour flight. It’s possible. I won’t say it’s not possible.

BUT. It all depends on your individual experience. I went two weeks overdue with my first between waiting ,induction C-section and hospital stay. That would potentially put you 3 weeks from wedding. So you just don’t know how it’s going to go.

I would just keep it open-ended and not commit. If you go early, have an uncomplicated delivery and an easy baby- go for it!

But there isn’t a soul in the world who has carried a child that would fault you for passing on a wedding 5 weeks PP even WITH an uncomplicated delivery.

There’s no way I could have done it. I had complicated deliveries and would not have beenup for it . But I also wouldn’t leave my baby that young esp if you’re planning to nurse. We tried to go to a local wedding for a few hours when my littlest was 16 weeks old and had to leave bc she wouldn’t take the bottle and wouldn’t stop crying.

I took my 3 week old on a multi-day drive (about 5 hours a day) to visit family for Christmas. They were shocked we were coming, but we had missed the celebration two years in a row (first baby was in the hospital year 1, and we had a wedding to attend year 2), but I was determined. At that point, the 3 week old had already had RSV (he got it at 9 days old—thank God, he was remarkably okay). It was a lot. Being out of the house with a newborn is just feeding the baby in a different location or trying to find a place to feed the baby, whether you breastfeed or use formula. I’ve done both, so I know both are hard!

In retrospect, this was probably not the greatest idea, mostly because of the freaking snow, but we were okay. It was a lot. In your situation, I would be considering getting to the wedding and would likely try to make it work, but everyone would think I was crazy and it would be exhausting. At the end I would think, “wow, that was crazy,” but I would probably try to make it. 😅

I think you’ll have to play it by ear and see how you feel. I can attest that the actual traveling with a tiny baby part is doable. We adopted, so we had no choice but to fly when she was two weeks old. It was honestly easier than when she was a little older, because she was still in the potato phase. We then flew again for an extended stay with family about a month after that, and it also went fine. The huge caveat there is that neither of us gave birth so we’re not experiencing any of the physical recovery elements of postpartum.

I wouldn’t be able to fly anywhere 5 weeks pp… also my dr wouldn’t want me to u til I am cleared after my first check up which occurs around 6 to 8 weeks after.

With my first, we drove 5h to stay with my parents when he was around a month old. That was fine, but I wouldn't have been able to attend a wedding, nevermind having any sort of responsibilities in that wedding. You'll spend more time caring for baby in some capacity (feeding, holding, napping) than you get to enjoy the wedding. You have to accept that you'll have to miss things and leave rooms on short notice, because babies can't wait.

You should also consider that your baby might come after your due date and wouldn't even be five weeks.

I traveled to Hawaii 5 weeks pp with my second child. Flight was about 10 hours. It all depends on you and what you’re comfortable with. Everyone’s experience and births will be different. Is it possible absolutely. Whether or not it’s right for you, only you can answer. Personally, my delivery went smoothly and our trip was very easy I breastfed baby take off and landing so ears popping wasn’t an issue. Baby sleeps most of the time at that age so in my experience traveling with baby was a breeze.

You won’t know until you get to that point. It will depend on how easy/difficult birth, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and healing process goes. It will also depend on when baby arrives. It will depend on babies temperament - if baby sleeps a lot and is chill vs a colicky baby.

Travel at and flights are much easier when they’re really little - kids mostly just pass out from the white noise on the plane. Feeding them on take off and landing - baby wear onto flight. It’s a lot easier than a 1+ year old or a toddler who wants to run around and doesn’t want to sit.

If you’re going to plan to go - give yourself extra time for everything, lower your expectations for yourself, for your baby, etc.

I think I’m in the minority who would have been fine to do this. I had easy recoveries with mine and both kids were still potato sacks at that point so it was the best time for us to get out.

At 5 weeks postpartum I couldnt imagine doing any travelling, especially with a newborn.

There’s no way I could have. Some people could but absolutely no way for me. It took us almost a month to go on a short walk where she wouldn’t scream haha. I was also still healing.

Definition of insanity. Rest.

I went on vacation with a four week old and my three older children. Can confirm, the baby was the easiest one! 🤣 They are so portable at that age.

Am I the only one who feels fine after giving birth?? Now I’ve never had a c section so I can’t speak on that but with my vaginal births I’ve always felt fine. I’ve given birth three times now and after leaving the hospital I stopped at target to pick up essentials... I guess I’m the type to get stir crazy so I don’t like sitting around at home all day. I also find traveling with a newborn so much easier than traveling with a 6+ month old. Once they’re mobile it’s so much harder.

Yes, absolutely it is. Sorry. :/

I’ve got 4 kids and even as an experienced parent with literally the easiest baby in existence for #4 you could not pay me to do this.

Reasons from personal experience:

1. What if you don’t have baby until two weeks after your due date? Then you’ll be 3 weeks post partum

2. What if baby has jaundice and needs to stay in hospital for a week and you as well? Then you’ll be home only a couple weeks before travelling

3. Even a tiny cold landed my 2 month old in the hospital last month, do you really want to take that risk knowing what a germ fest airplanes are?

4. You may feel ok at 5weeks pp but even the tiniest setback could throw everything off and you end up back at square one. Not worth it!

I had the dream birth. Like I was walking 3 miles a day within a week of my c section. Super easy baby and easiest breast feeding journey ever. Bleeding was under control by then, incision basically healed. I hosted my best friends’ baby shower at about 6 weeks pp and put A TON of work into it. My husband and baby were in the bedroom the whole time so I could pop in and breast feed. I was in stilettos and a tight little dress.

I say all that to point out that I had your best case scenario. Like every single thing that could go right went right for me in having this baby and there is absolutely no way I could have gone on a 2 hour flight and stayed in a hotel 5 weeks pp.

Don’t set yourself and your friend up for failure, you may be able to swing it but the greater chance is that you won’t and you don’t want to leave the bride high and dry at the last minute.

I don’t remember it, but my first flight was when I was 8 weeks old and my mom never said anything about it being the most horrible thing or anything

I’m clearly in the minority here, but I flew cross country with my daughter when she was 6 weeks old, and it went fine.

I’d say the biggest positive was that she was still so young, so she slept most of the time. However, looking back, I realize I was pretty fortunate. First of all, I was traveling with my in laws, who were a huge help. My daughter was also very low maintenance for a newborn. She was a great sleeper (sleeping about 6 hour stretches at this point) and wasn’t colicky. I’d had a smooth delivery and was all healed up by that point and cleared by my doctor. In fact, I ended up getting my first postpartum period during the trip (despite the fact that I was exclusively breastfeeding🫠) and didn’t have any feminine supplies with me because I hadn’t been bleeding for several weeks.

If any of those factors had been different, it would have been a much harder trip. So if I were to do it again (or if I were in your position), I wouldn’t make a full commitment, nonrefundable tickets, etc. before birth. I’d explain to your friend that you can’t know for sure until after birth if you and your baby will be able to handle the trip. If she needs a 100% commitment, she will need to choose someone else to save you both the stress.

With my first, we were on a two hour flight at 6 weeks. He slept in a carrier on my chest the whole time, except take off and landing (they make you take them out!). I was tired and we took way too much stuff but we enjoyed taking advantage of my leave to visit extended family and introduce baby. My second came six weeks early via emergency C-section. Even if he hadn’t been early, my C-section recovery would have prevented me from traveling. It was very difficult and I was still healing at 8 weeks postpartum. So it really completely depends on how your birth goes, if baby has colic, how you handle lack of sleep, etc. It may need to be a game time decision.

Oh gosh absolutely I wouldn’t have been able to.  I don’t think I ventured out of the house the first three weeks.  I was fit and healthy (like cycling 12 miles a day healthy)   and had a vaginal birth with my first and I ended up with a third degree tear where I couldn’t even sit properly.  My boobs were like rocks, my baby didn’t sleep without being held it was a nightmare.

That said I’ve been on the other end of this. My MOH had a baby three months before my wedding and pulled out just after the baby was born.  I totally understood even though I’d not been pregnant before and didn’t hold it against her at all.  I was disappointed she wasn’t there but I understood why, and I knew she had to put her family before me.  I honestly think it’ll be too stressful and wouldn’t attempt it myself.

I couldn't wear anything around my hips for six months pp with baby #2 (unplanned c-section)... So...

I’m in the minority, but I think it might be ok. My husband and I did a cross country move on our own when our first was 6 weeks old, then when my second was 6 weeks old, my mom was in the hospital so I flew home with just the baby. So it’s definitely doable, but I wouldn’t want to do it for any old wedding. The fact that she flew out for yours four separate times means she put a LOT of time and effort into making sure you felt all that love and support, so if I were you, I would attempt the trip as a way to show your gratitude.

When I was 5 weeks pp with my first, I didn't know which way up I was.

I couldn’t have.

All things considered I had a straightforward recovery from an emergency c-section and second degree tear from a forceps attempt.

We went out walks the day after we got home from hospital, we had our first lunch out at 10 days PP, we started baby classes at 6 weeks PP.

But all of these were short 1-2 hour things where I could then go home and be in my own space.

Absolutely no way could I have sat on a flight or gone to a wedding, especially when I was breastfeeding for hours at a time.

Travel with a 5 week old baby is going to be rough. You are still in the healing process no matter if a natuarl birth or C-section. I know some women bounce right back but a lot of women don't. You are still dealing a lot of hormones going crazy, you are trying to get used to a new baby and a new routine, you are not getting a lot of sleep, if you breast feed, you are not going to know how that will work on a plane, the time of year plays a big role and going into cold weather time is when most people get sick and that can carry over to the baby (not trying to scare you but this is flu/Covid time more so than other times of the year), then add the travel. Travel by plane is hard enough when it is just you and hubby and kids that can move on their own but with a baby it is quite different. You have to have a car seat to be on the plane, you have to have not only your own carry on but the baby bag too, you need to have enough supplies for baby and yourself, it will be crowded and I would worry about germs moving around the cabin since everyone is enclosed in essentially a tin can......not my idea of fun.

I traveled 3 hours by car 4 weeks pp with my 4th. I'll say it was pretty easy for me. But I am experienced with breastfeeding and already had had 3 uneventful vaginal births. I also wasn't in a wedding. I've also never flown with my kids. 

That said, I wouldn't commit to being a bridesmaid. That with a new baby would be really tough. And I would probably choose to drive if possible. Being a first time mom, learning how to breastfeed, I would not want to be doing that around a lot of other people. 

I would bow out of maid of honor and tell your friend you want to be as involved as possible, but just don't know what will be possible for you right now. If she's a good friend, she should understand

You are putting a ton of pressure on yourself. Has your young doctor given birth?

If your bestie is really a bestie, she will understand. Your doctor isn't being realistic. I wouldn't consider her opinion at all.

Whatever you think you know about exhaustion, isn't even close to the exhaustion of 5 weeks PP. You don't have a realistic view, because you haven't done this before.

Listen to the women who are responding to your post. You will be putting a ridiculous amount of pressure on yourself. Your baby will be in recirculating air on the plane. You are already saying you will ' go back on my word ' to your friend, as though you want to be told you must go.

Please, please reconsider. Your whole view on life is about to change.

Take care, Internet Friend. Congratulations on your beautiful, soon-to-be born baby!

It really depends how your pregnancy and recovery goes. I had 2 planned csections. The first one was a freaking nightmare. I was on bed rest with an IV for almost 2 months. I couldn't even hold my newborn. No way I was going to travel.

Second csection went so amazing and prefect. Within a week, I was off the pain meds and could walk. I could have traveled at 5 weeks pp.

My first baby- no way in hell, I still couldn’t sit on a regular chair without pain.

My fourth kid- absolutely, I walked myself to the postpartum room after delivering.

Realistically I wouldn’t plan on being a bridesmaid. Then you still have the option to attend as a guest if you happen to be feeling great

I think you should inform your friend that it depends on your obgyn’s 6 week check up. A small white lie never hurt anyone.

Personally I would not be a bridesmaid.

I would plan on going to the wedding though. 2 hours is not that long of a flight. I would book on Southwest or something similar where you can change or cancel last minute and at least get a flight credit. You may feel fine at that point (albeit sleep deprived) and be fine with traveling to the wedding. Babies that little can be good travelers because they sleep a lot.

But hard no on being a bridesmaid. If you end up wanting to bail on the wedding once the baby is born because you don't feel up to it, that would put the bride in a bad position and you'd be out a lot of money. Plus there is just way too much going on on the wedding day if you're a bridesmaid and it would be too stressful with a newborn.

ETA: Also, at that age babies are nursing ALL THE TIME. Trying to do that in a bridesmaid's dress sounds like a nightmare.

I went on a plane with my oldest at 2 weeks. We stayed at hotels, went to hockey games, and out to eat everything that you do on vacations.

My husband and I drove 12 hours one way with our newborn at 5 weeks to see my family for Christmas (I had severe ppd and needed to be with them). It was so worth it and actually so easy bc baby slept pretty much the entire drive. I know this isn’t the same as flying but traveling myself can be done!! Good luck 🫶🏼

So, it's not unreasonable to imagine you might be able to, but it would be unreasonable to assume you will.

Plan for the worst, and expect the best?

Make sure you leave room and time for everything to be wrong, and need to heal. And then you will be glad and prepared for whatever actually happens.

I went on a cruise at 5 weeks PP but I was a surrogate, so I didn’t have the baby with me. All I needed was my pump and I dumped my milk. Pretty great trip! Would have been totally undoable with a newborn, though.

Chances are that you can pull this off. But there is a high likelihood that you will be miserable.

With my first. Absolutely not. I was in no state to do anything close to leaving my house. With my second, I probably could have swung it. But his birth was way less traumatic and I had less complications and just generally more with it.

I flew from Alaska to Washington for Thanksgiving at 8 weeks PP and it was an absolute breeze. I think people have very different PP experiences, so take that into consideration. I thrived PP and found it much easier to handle than I let people lead me to believe.

Good luck to you!

Up to you suppose.. but id just say bad timing and not go. Too much hassle for me when my kids were that age. I wouldn't have even considered it

I wouldn't plan on it because you never know. You could need a lot of time to recover, or figure out breastfeeding, or just not want to expose your baby that young. But you could also have an easy birth and recovery and be a natural at breastfeeding. I would have easily managed a two hour flight after both of my births, but I didn't know that until they happened. 

Okay apparently against everyone else but I could have done it both times. I hade vaginal births but they lasted days in labor with about 4 hours of active pushing both times and 2-3 degree tearing. So I wouldn’t say easy. We did a ton of traveling with 1 early on but always drove between 1-6 hours though. With 2 it was too hard to travel plus our leave wasn’t paid so we were broke.

How helpful is your partner. Will he be shouldering at least half the load?

Ummm everyone is different…I think it depends on breastfeeding vs formula you could have a baby that is colic and screams for 6 months… I couldn’t make a 5 hour drive to my aunts funeral at 6 weeks pp… it just depends on the person. People who don’t breastfeed tend to be able to up and leave a lot easier.

Don't do it! It's completely mad at the beginning. You'll need space and rest and home comforts.

I think it all depends on how you feel about it.

I feel like most people I know wouldn’t be able/ feel like they shouldn’t go anywhere 5 weeks PP.

I have 3 kids and took a 4 hour road trip 5 weeks pp for our youngest child. (3.5yo, 22 month and 5 week old).

I personally think newborns are so easy. They literally just eat and poop lol.

I drove 7 hours to be a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding around 5 weeks pp. I left my twins at home with their dad and his parents. It's about three years later, and I still think my mom is a bit upset I didn't bring them, but it was definetly the right call. When you are a first time parent, having a home base and a routine is godsend and a little hotel room does not provide that.

I really liked the break from the non-stop demands of two newborns. If I had to go back, I would 100% still go and do it all the same. That being said, the day of the wedding was painful. My core was destroyed from pregnancy, so standing in place for the full ceremony was so hard. I also had a lot of engoregment because it was hard to find time in the schedule to pump as frequently as i needed, so I ended up with clogs. Travel itself wasn't bad at all- I had ice packs for my fissure which helped a lot.

Personally I think you should do whatever you’re comfortable with. But I did take my 6 week old to essentially a family reunion (it was a multi day celebration of life for my husband’s grandma who passed away). We did drive (two days each way, about 5 hours worth of travel). Flying would have been so much easier but wasn’t an option. Your baby won’t be touching things on the plane and strangers won’t be handling your baby. Yes they will be in the cabin with strangers but I’m pretty sure the risk of airborne germ transmission on a plane is relatively small. My 6w old is my second, so I definitely didn’t have the same FTM anxiety. You need to decide how important the wedding is to you. The trip we did was really important to me (and my husband).

We drove 5 hours to a wedding my husband was in at 4 weeks old. My in-laws were also attending the wedding and helped care for baby. My delivery and recovery was relatively normal aside from preeclampsia, so physically I felt fine. Stopping to nurse and change diapers was the most time consuming and exhausting part.

However, I cannot imagine spending any amount of time immediately postpartum at an airport or on an airplane surrounded by hundreds of strangers. All the crap an infant requires for travel, it would be a no for me.

I had a c-section that healed well, but no way I could have even thought about being on a plane 5 weeks postpartum. And certainly not IN a wedding. I had a dear friend that was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding get pregnant and end up two weeks postpartum at my wedding. She lived two miles away from the venue, and couldn’t imagine being able to be part of the wedding festivities- remember it’s not just the wedding you’re attending as a bridesmaid- it’s the hair, makeup, photos…it’s a lot. She came to the wedding for a little bit, but it’s a lot to be abridesmaid. Even if you can manage the travel, it’s the trying to get ready, being on your feet for hours between pictures and the ceremony, the dinner, the dance. I would honestly, respectfully, bow out of being a bridesmaid. It’s just a lot, even with an uncomplicated delivery.

I don’t think it’s a good idea but you do you.

I was still miserable at 5 weeks, would’ve been a hard no from me. I was still bleeding, had stitches, was very sore (with my first I couldn’t sit for 5 minutes let alone 2 hours), and hadn’t slept in roughly 5 weeks. Heck I’m not sure how I managed traveling from bedroom to living room.

My own physical discomfort aside, I wouldn’t put my 5 week old on a plane in November.

It’s certainly doable. We traveled to the beach about 5 hours away for a week when my twins were 6 weeks old, but they are my fourth and fifth kids. The first six weeks are really hard the first time around. Figuring out feeding, getting into a routine, and healing yourself. It’s a lot. It’s definitely possible to travel, and if you are committed you can certainly do it. Just try to be as prepared as possible, and make sure your husband is ready to help out along the way. Good luck!

It could go really great or be really miserable, unfortunately you won't get a sense of whether it's feasible until you meet baby and see what their temperament/schedule is like. If you do go, keep your expectations low and be prepared to change plans. My first was an absolute angel until their first sleep regression at 4ish months. We went to a family wedding no problem. The younger one was much more hit or miss.

At 5 weeks, I could have done it. I bounced back pretty quickly after I had my kids. But everyone is different, and some people take longer to heal. My babies, on the other hand, would have made horrible guests.

With all 3 of mine, I stopped bleeding just after 4 weeks. I don't know if it was because of breastfeeding or just my body. I breastfed all my babies, but only with my second did I have problems that required help from a lactation nurse. My first baby had colic. That started about 4 weeks old and lasted till about 14 weeks old. My third was actually a perfect baby, but I think that was because that pregnancy was the worst.

I had to move 5 weeks pp from CA to AZ and had to drive by myself. First day was 12 hours, second day was 10 hours. Pure hell.

I took my first (c section) at ten weeks and flew across the country for brunch and dinner and flew back that same night all by myself.

I also did the same when I had my second baby! At ten weeks old, I took them to the airport, flew across the country for brunch and dinner, and then flew home that same night. I took both kids and did it by myself. Car seats and all.

I think it depends on your healing, your personality (I can go with the flow, and know that the city had a Target and coffee shop, lol), and the grace of others on the trip with you.

I will say, in my experience the younger the baby, the easier it is to travel. But again- I knew it required flexibility.

I flew with each of my first two kids (1.5hr international flight) at 4/5 weeks due to visa issues. If you are able to rest up before flying and your husband is the sort to fully engage in taking care of you and baby, it's do-able. Maybe get flexible/refundable tickets so that if you pop stitches or for some other reason your OB won't clear you to fly, you don't lose the ticket money.

I flew with my newborn at 4 weeks pp just to join my husband on a nice work trip. The baby and I were totally fine. My second though was a c section baby, unexpectedly, so that might have changed thing. Although I might have still made it happen. Both my babies were really easy but you can’t plan for that. You also can’t predict your recovery. I would keep the date tentative if possible and see how you feel 2 weeks pp.

Everyone is different. For me, I didn’t entertain even leaving the house for about 12 weeks PP. I lived in pajamas. But, I know people that were back to normal and getting out an about 10 days after giving birth (at least they presented that way). So it’s all preference with heavy consideration for the potential for post-labor and delivery complications.

Hi, every experience varries. I have a 7 week old and honestly we could’ve traveled with him at 5 weeks PP. I’ll say this is just our experience, he’s an easy baby who only cries when he needs something (fed/diaper/ burp). He’s on formula and at 5 weeks PP he was sleeping in 3-4 hour chunks and my husband and I are good at taking turns in the night and making sure one another gets rest. It’s hard because you just don’t know until the baby gets there and what kind of birth u have, I had a c section and we’ve been fortunate with him not having colic. Is there any way u can wait until your a couple weeks PP and then decide what u think would be best for u all?

My LO is currently 5 weeks and there’s no way in hell. lol

Were I in your shoes, I would ask the bride to flexible regarding you being a bridesmaid, or even there at all. Depending on her answer, you will find your answer.

I would rethink your OB’s opinion. There’s a chance that yeah your baby will sleep on the 2 hour flight and be fine. But at 5 weeks postpartum I had hemorrhoids, stitches from a 2nd degree tear, lots of bleeding and could barely sit or even stand for more than 10 minutes. I was LAYING down. Also, the sleep deprivation, and sore breasts were awful. I couldn’t imagine being IN the wedding. You don’t know what size you’ll actually end up being around that time for a dress. My feet were very swollen after birth and none of my shoes fit let alone heels. Is your husband going to watch the baby at a hotel or something while the wedding is going on? Because a newborn at the wedding can be unpredictable. But also, hotels aren’t necessarily the cleanest environments and it could cause anxiety trying to calm baby down from crying to not disrupt other guests. There’s so much more to think about but that’s all that came to my mind right after reading this. I understand your friend was a MOH at your wedding but she didn’t have a NEWBORN. That’s a long time from now and you don’t know exactly when you’ll give birth, how you’ll give birth, or what will transpire during birth for you or baby so I personally wouldn’t commit.

My first baby was still barely gaining weight at 5 weeks and struggling to breastfeed. I could not have handled a plane trip.

I traveled 3 hours away in a car when our baby was 6 weeks old and was okay and I was post a C-section. But I did get to relax and the only main visit I had to worry about was my husband’s grandmother (the point of the visit as she was close to the end of her life). I’m not sure about a wedding where I have to dress up and do photos etc on top of all that. That is a stress in and of itself let alone on top of managing a baby.

Each woman is different. I could have done it at 5 weeks because I stopped bleeding g at five weeks and my kids were easy at the age, but would I have wanted to is another issue.

Unless you could bring someone you trust to watch the baby a couple hours I probably wouldn’t even try especially if you plan on nursing. Send her a nice gift. If she’s truly your friend she will understand.

The issue is there is just no way to know.
You could still be bleeding. You could still be very sore. You could have bloody chafed nipples and post Partum anxiety. Your baby also could come a week late so it's not even 5 weeks pp. I mean really worst case scenario you could have a baby in the nicu

Or you could be tires but feel great, your baby could come 2 weeks early so it's actually 7w pp. You could have a smooth recovery and have a happy well fed baby.

No one can tell you where in this spectrum you will be.

I wouldn't. I had to give birth 4w early by emergency c section, baby was in nicu for 25 days. Like everyone said, anything could happen which includes giving birth early.

Plus at the beginning of winter season, on a plane, nope. We just did 2h flight with my 9mo and it was a lot of things to bring. I was already pumping twice a day, wasn't as engorged, she takes bottles, already eats solids and my suitcase was still 80% hers, 15% me and 5% husband.

I couldn't imagine travelling on a plane, being in a wedding, being MOH on top of it at 5w pp. I didn't have any complications from my c section thankfully.

My FIL passed the day before youngest of three was born. She was two weeks old when we found ourselves (all five of us) driving 3+ hours to go to the funeral. I was functioning post cesarean but still sore. I had the clear to travel as did baby to travel and be around everyone.

That’s the youngest I’ve traveled with. Youngest I’ve flown with was 5 months (same kid actually, plus the others again obviously) - Texas to New York plus a full day’s drive deep into Canada.

Will it be exhausting to do? Yes. Is it unreasonable? Not at all. 

Some advice - make sure you have enough stuff in the diaper bag for any delays. This means if you’re pumping, everything to pump more than once. If you’re formula feeding, a couple extra feedings. If you’re breastfeeding, snacks and plenty of water for you (obviously filled or purchased once through security). Extra diapers and wipes plus outfits. I always take both warm clothes and summer clothes plus a blanket in case the temp on the plane requires changing.

Personally we prefer to check everything we don’t expect to need in the airport or on the flight so we don’t have to carry that plus baby through the airport. Obviously the risk is you get separated from your bags, but so far that hasn’t been an issue for us. (And most things can be desperately purchased at the closest store if you had to.)

Be ready for baby’s ears to require sucking. Have the pacifier or breast in their mouth when you’re taking off preemptively, and again when you start your descent.

Scope out the airports for nursing pods/rooms - even if you formula feed. Many have them now. It was a life saver with the 5 month old when we ended up delayed several hours coming home from the above trip (and later when baby was 9 months and traveling again). It’s a quiet space where you can decrease their and your stimulation for a bit. If you’re pumping these rooms also generally have a sink for cleaning up.

no it will never be as easy as this 😂

ok i can see i am not in the majority here 😂

i had a c section, a week long nicu stay (not premie). i was fine by then. but he was super chill, slept thru anything (still does thank god) and could sleep anywhere… they’re little potatoes at that age. if we’d had something he would have been TOTALLY fine and so would i.

i say plan it and if you have to back out 🤷🏽‍♀️

edit: if you’re close enough that she was MOH i’d just be honest. you don’t know what to expect but you’d like to make it. can there be a plan b? i am sure there can be

i also see a few comments where baby couldn’t go to the event. that’s nuts. it’s me and the baby, tit out or no deal. so i’d be clear about that too 😂

I’d hardly call it thinking at all, personally

I am just thinking how (even with the greatest nanny/partner looking after your baby), sitting in an airline chair and carrying the bags when you are still in pain from late pregnancy/ childbirth/ c section. Or having to deal with the stress at a time when being able to brush your teeth once a day is a huge achievement and your hormones mean you cry over insurance commercials. No.

I was in this SAME predicament when I had my daughter & didn’t go to my sister’s wedding. Was impossible 🫠

It might be, honestly I’m all for not letting yourself miss things but with your first baby, and breastfeeding they might be attached to you more then you’d think. My 5 week old nursed probably every 30-60 minutes if not near constantly if cluster feeding.

If you go for it, I’d just say keep expectations low and have your bail out plan.

I think the traveling part is not that bad if your baby is relatively chill (but it is not guaranteed!). But the wedding part will be hard. If I were the bride I would prefer my MOH to be helpful to me, but at 5 weeks postpartum you will need random help,.not the other way around.

Think of your baby possibly catching polio on the flight because so many idiots are insisting on not being vaccinated these days….

Also the unpleasantness of not sleeping, having a body that is still leaking fluids from multiple places, absolutely no sleep, tons of logistics to bring what you would need for a newborn…..

For me this would be a hard no. Even with the best of realistic circumstances this would be an incredibly taxing experience and I would not ask a friend to do this for me. 

I too a 4 week old 13 hours away by plane to Asia, in order to see a sick relative before they died. It was very hard, but we did it and I don’t regret it. Risks to consider is that baby hasn’t had their vaccines yet so there’s an increased risk of their illness. You’re less likely to start having serious bleeding issues that far out, but it’s not fun. You don’t feel well, and you’re incredibly sleep deprived. If you’re blessed with postpartum depression or anxiety, it would be ramping up during this time frame.

I would go into that thinking that it would be the hardest and most stressful trip of your life. My main memory of my 4 week trip is crying in nursing rooms. Is it worth it to go? Only you can decide.

It's wishful thinking to plan for it. You have no idea how your body or baby will be at that time.   At 5 weeks I was beyond exhausted and a total mess and there's no way my baby would have traveled well 

I would not have been up to that. At all. 

What if your flight is delayed? What if baby cries hard during the entire flight? How are you guys with trying to function with extreme exhaustion? What if baby gets sick while there? If nothing else, there is no way I could have predicted what my body would even look like at 5 weeks in ordering a dress. 

Very unrealistic. 

At 5 weeks pp that would have been a hard no for me. Babies are always evolving and changing habits and routines so there is no easy way to make plans to do anything even when at home let alone traveling. Plus the lack of vaccinations would have me to worried. I know you love your friend but I think you should tell her now that you need to step back so she can make other plans if need be.

You’re assuming you’re giving birth on your due date. You could be setting yourself up to travel at 3 weeks pp.

At 5 weeks, my daughter was enjoying her witching journey phase. Screaming her heard off every night at dinner.

Overall, it’s a no for me dog.

You can’t possibly predict this. You could be totally ready, or you could be in bed recovering. Your baby could be easy go lucky, or not give you a minute to even shower. Plan to do it, be flexible incase plans change.

I was still very uncomfortable at 5 weeks pp, especially walking/standing for a length of time, or sitting for too long. It would be a hard pass for me, personally.

Also no way I’d take a five week old on a plane, exposing them to all those germs. Doesn’t have to be RSV, any sickness at 5 weeks can be serious. And the vaccine wouldn’t be a guarantee either. Your OB seems flippant…

I think it will really be a game time decision. With my first I absolutely could have gone. I actually did a one night overnight in NYC with lots of walking and about a 2 hour flight at 4 weeks postpartum.

For my second, I don’t think I would have been ready at 5 weeks - I could have done it from a pain standpoint, but emotionally I was way more of a mess after my second than my first.

One thing to note, I formula fed from the beginning for both which obviously helped with some of the logistics.

Basically I would say don’t put pressure on yourself and see how you feel!

I flew as a single mom when my baby was about six or seven weeks old…about a two hour flight that also included a layover…I would breast feed (covered obviously) on take off and landing and anytime she got a bit fussy…she was perfectly fine. The only challenge was going to the bathroom while wearing her on my front 😜🤪

It’s kinda wishful thinking to assume you’ll be 5 weeks postpartum, haha. I had my first at 42+1, so in your scenario I’d be 3 weeks out.

I wouldn’t

Sure, at 5 weeks it should be no problem.

I personally wouldn’t have been able to do that. I was 2 weeks over due, ended up having an unexpected c-section and I didn’t start to feel human until 6 weeks PP. My parents live 45 minutes away and I wasn’t comfortable sitting in a vehicle for that long until the 6 week mark.

Also, if you’re planning on breastfeeding it might take a few weeks to get the hang of it, and you may not be comfortable breastfeeding in public at that point and baby will more than likely be cluster-feeding. Baby’s are typically slow nursers at the beginning (taking 30-45 minutes to feed and doing it again every 90-120 mintutes (from the start of the feed). You can always choose to bottle feed while on the plane but for your milk supply you really should be pumping every time baby takes a bottle.