For context im not naturally good at anything, or rather im mostly terrible at everything I try.
This is perfectly normal, everyone is terrible at everything they try until they try again and again to eventually get better at it.
This reads like your BPD talking, that is, you perceiving the world and yourself in an all-black/all-white manner. BPD responds very well to therapy so the way through goes through the therapy room, keep up the work!