Pilot telling us to shut our baby

Discussion

We had a flight with Qatar Airlines, and there was a pilot across our row. The whole row was full of babies because of the bassinet. Our baby was sleeping when we boarded and during take off, the others were screaming but thats normal. Some kids/babies settled and the pilot was sleeping, our baby woken up and of course cried, sometimes it doesnt take only a second to comfort your baby and thats reality or at least our experience. He took out his ear plugs and told us to keep out baby shut, i said hes only a baby, he replied “ a child, a baby but its tragic for me” and i replied we are trying. Im super shocked hearing that comment from a pilot. And when the flight attendant asked him how was his flight during landing he ranted about babies screaming and was getting into his nerves, and that babies shouldn’t act like it or fly at that age, but the attendant told him it’s passenger rights and he suddenly compared that he has 3 kids who doesnt cry and scream on the flight. We know for some its annoying but we cant dictate babies what to feel or shut them straight away. It made me very anxious when our baby started crying again when im fully aware he’s allowed to do so.

Whats your thoughts?

in Flightsby Sharp-Stable1059

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Tealoverandskyflyer

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As ex cabin crew, I think this extremely unprofessional of the pilot.

If he was on crew rest or deadheading (positioning to operate another flight) then a quiet mention to the crew to see if there was an alternative seat available should have been his response- not criticising other passengers for matters beyond their control. Babies cry- it’s what they do.

He should also know babies have every right to travel and be prepared with ear plugs, noise cancelling headsets etc but not to take it on you.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Thank you!!!! 🙏🏼

Tealoverandskyflyer

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Please don't let it put you off flying with babies. Most people are very understanding but there are always a few rotten eggs. I've started a r/FlyingWithaBabyTips in caxe that helps in future too.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Just joined!! Thank u for the encouragement, i wondt dent i was conscious and anxious when i feel like my baby was going to make a sound after he complained, it wasnt a nice feeling to feel that way when its normal thing they do. But that wont stop us traveling with him for sure

moreidlethanwild

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Were you in business class? Sometimes flight crew use empty rows to sleep ahead of service. I was once on a flight where one of the flight crew were sleeping in business a few rows up from me and was complaining to the crew about a crying baby. The complaint was more about that he had to start working (flying our plane!) and had not managed to sleep well because of the baby. The parents were not trying to soothe it or stop it crying. Maybe this was the case? Maybe he was connecting to work on a flight?

In a cramped environment with no escape, it’s horrendous listening to a baby cry. Not excusing him if you tried everything to soothe yours, just saying that nerves get frayed because you can’t do anything to get away from it. If you did get your baby quiet very quickly then he’s just being a dick.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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I get your point if he was connecting to work on a flight but to say to us that our baby shouldnt be flying and its us parents fault he cries is absurd. Some people has thousand miles away to visit and see families, and without his passengers he wont have a job. Be cant decide for us yo fly or not, wasnt so well mannered Pilot even if it was work related. He could’ve politely asked attendant to assign him somewhere else next to all other adults than make those comments.

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Ummm it’s not about him having a job due to your business…. It’s about everyone on the plane surviving if an emergency arises. He needs to be alert enough to immediately respond to an emergency and your baby (and you) were interfering with that. This is a safety issue. If he weren’t about to fly a plane you wouldn’t have seen him in uniform. Do better

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Deadheading pilots has to wear uniform regardlesss

6

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Incorrect.

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You’re just making things up now. It’s obvious you have no idea what you’re talking about

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Ur the one who doesnt 😂 and acts like u have a brain.

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Your comments are all downvoted a lot which means that no one agrees with you. Good luck

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Which means theyre people who would let a pilot or whoever they think important tell their kids ugly stuff. Its not me so i dont care. Poor ur child though

Pristine_Brilliant91

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Why did you post and ask for our thoughts if you don’t care what people think?

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Comments that makes sense yeah.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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He wasnt the one flying that plane so u do better and understand before u comment. There were other available seats, dont be ignorant.

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You obviously don’t know how any of this works. No he was not flying the plane you were on. He was going to fly another plane. I’m not sure why this is so hard to comprehend. It shouldn’t be.

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He may be commuting also. As a crew member we do deadheading in normal clothes too. It just depends on where and what we’re doing.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Ur obviously no parent 😂

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What does being a parent have to do with anything? The pilot was a parent too.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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A parent who obviously didnt let his kids fly at young age as he stated. U cant relate cause ur not one. Wait till u experience it and if u praise the pilot 😂

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Don’t feed the trolls. 😁

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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No, we were on economy, so was he. He wasnt part of Qatar crew. Our baby cried for minutes and slept again, but all other babies crying next to him was fine although was continuous. I know it can get it to people’s nerves but our baby doesnt talk yet nor understand things, we try our best to soothe him whenever that happens. He could have requested to sit somewhere else than the whole row full of kids and babies for bassinet purposes.

Or booked himself business class

moreidlethanwild

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If he was travelling for work he could be dead heading, he doesn’t have to be Qatar crew, he could be a British Airways or Iberia crew member positioning (all those airlines are part of One World so he will get to travel on any member airline) and he can’t book business class, he will be assigned a seat and upgraded if possible.

It could be that the flight was full. Normally the bassinet rows are held for people with children so those seats are the last to go.

This honestly sounds to me like a pilot flying for work and being very irritable that he was in the bassinet row. Not your fault of course but not his either.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Perhaps I wouldn’t mind if he asked politely. As a parent we are well aware that crying can disturb others and the flight with Qatar was our 12th flight from the holiday alone, it wasnt like we didnt know what we were doing. I always considerate of others, but there are Moments that babies are not soothable with one snap. Its fine to ask but to comment that our child shouldn’t fly at this age is not his right to decide. he also had fever from teething but i must say he did well despite it, it wasnt like he cried all the time.

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So you knew your child was not feeling well and took him on regardless?

I doubt that all kids made the same amount of noise but he singled you out. Why would he?

You're probably not sharing the full story.

I never complain because it's part of life and there is nothing parents can do once we are flying but it's insane that I pay a full ticket to sit near a screaming baby.

I admire his willingness to call you out.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Even the flight attendant told him its our right and he cant doo anything about it. She sided us not the pilot and walked away while he talks nasty

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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We were away for a month, and that flight was going home, we cant cancel the flight because of teething, im Not that dumb, u can never anticipate when a child gets fever

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Ohh u should’ve been there to see and feel bad for saying these things. We paid for that flight too mr.. i admire you for admiring an ignorant persob

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No... You paid for the right to fly. Not for the right to scream into someone's ear.

I said it before and I'll say again. Not a reason on this green planet to single you out if there were multiple babies.

Why would he? Tell us the whole story.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Why the hell i would bother telling u when u already dont believe this 😂

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Get a grip. I can tell that you are not a parent.

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And?

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Exactly my thoughts thank youu!

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You sound very entitled. He needs rest to safely fly the plane he is going to fly. It is not about you your opinions are not relevant

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Who is to say the pilot isn't going home?

0

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Oh please. He exhibited asshole behavior. Quit excusing it.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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So was he. He was the one entitled. We paid for that flight too and our child was not doing anything wrong and only cried for 2 mins and its okay to comment we shouldnt fly?? Its ur opinion thats irrelevant

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He’s not entitled. He’s a person with a very important job entrusted with the lives of hundreds of people. His ability to sleep on the flight is far far far more important than anything you could ever complain about. He’s the one that matters. You seem to think he bought a ticket on the flight? This is definitely not how that works at all. You obviously don’t know how any of this works.

coloradorockymtns

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The he should be prepared with earplugs and a headset with soothing music for his flight. It's his responsibility to be well rested for the next flight he will be the captain of. He should know that babies cry. It's his responsibility to know that this flight could be filled with crying babies and to have earplugs, headset, etc..to block out the noise.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Deadheading pilots are paid to be transferred the efff he had to be transferred. Its not only his comfort has to be prioritized here. As i said flight attendant told him off we have rights and baby is allowed to Cry. So Wttff u seem so rightful?

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You obviously don’t understand the importance of the pilot’s job or how any of this works. Time to pause flying for a while until you learn how it works and your kid is old enough to not endanger others. Good luck

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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😂 we fly whenever we want. Time to pause commenting until you really make sense

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You’d think an experienced pilot would have made the investment in good ear plugs/noise cancelling headphones.

I travel a fair bit for work (though presumably not nearly as much as a pilot) and I’ve got a set that mutes out nearly all sounds. They weren’t cheap, but it’s an investment and has made flights much easier to sleep on/etc. They actually block out so much sound, I usually have the volume on one of the 3 lowest settings and it’s clear.

User deleted comment

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They're from a a company called "Inearz"/"InearzSport". https://inearzsport.com

I have been riding motorcycles for years and seen them (or competitors) at various motorcycle shows making custom fit earplugs/monitors based on a mold of your ears. A few years ago I splurged and got myself a set. I've since used them for riding the motorcycle, shooting, and flying (not all at the same time).

They weren't cheap, but if I recall correctly they're modular so if anything fails I can replace that component.

I only have two things I'd change on them.

I wish they were USB-C instead of Micro USB or whatever, just to limit the amount of cables I have.
The cord connecting the two sides is a bit long, but I suppose that's better than the alternative.

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I'm honestly not sure what kind of thoughts you're looking for here. Sitting next to a crying baby sucks, but it sounds like you were doing everything you could so it really wasn't necessary for him to say anything and was a dick move on his part. But at this point, it's over and done with, so what exactly do you want from anyone else? There's nothing you or anyone else can do, and you have the right to travel with your baby so it's not like there's any advice to be given here. Chalk it up to "some people are assholes" or even just "some people say dickish things when they're tired and grumpy" and move on with your life.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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I was curious about others peoples say to it. But now i see that majority doesnt like it. My part i was just shocked about that comment from a pilot and comparing his kids to ours thats it.

Familiar-Parsley8787

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Try nursing your baby, especially on take-off when air pressure changes can affect the baby's ears.Works like a dream. I love children but the sound of crying or screaming just grates my nerves, too.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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I understand that but take off baby was sleeping and only woke up after 30 mins or so. I feel bad having told to shut our baby because he only crieda minute or 2 after he woke and pilot didnt mind others screaming whole time.

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Babies cry!

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Well, if he's in economy class, then he should know better. No one has the right to say that. If he was in business class, then it would be a different story, but he still needs to ask politely and not be a dick.

Kananaskis_Country

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Don't waste one brain cell or one second of your time worrying about assholes.

Happy travels.

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Ignore him. Babies have the right to be there same as he does. I have sat near babies multiple times- a good set of earplugs or noise cancelling headphones does the job. He was just being rude. I wish people would stop expecting child or even adult level behaviour from literal babies. As long as you were doing your best to soothe them and not ignoring them completely then he was wrong to comment.

Edit: originally said “flying babies” read it back and had images of super hero babies flying around the cabin my head

mylifeforthehorde

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Ignore . You were in the first row doing your best. Don’t let it eat you up. I guess this is just part of being a parent.

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He might me be a pilot but he was travelling as a passenger probably as deadhead and he gave his opinion. Probably others around thought the same... or not and they don't care about the sound of a baby crying. Who cares, it happened. He voiced what he thought. Move on.

Moderator removed comment

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Families with babies have the same rights to flight as you do. I wonder what kind of entitled prick you are to say stuff like this. F**k you

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Likewise.

Why should I pay good money to sit in a confined space with a crying baby infant? If I'm in a coffee shop or restaurant I can walk out. Think you'll find many agree.

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So if the crying baby was next to you in business and first class it's okay? Flying a higher class doesn't mean you won't have a baby near you.

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There's these things called websites that show bassinet location in Business. I stay away.

One of the airlines I fly most frequently doesn't allow infants in first and they sit those with infants in the second half of the business cabin. It's pretty easy to stay away.

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Oh strange, the airlines I fly with have no issues with infants in higher classes (there's no bassinets) just that they have to be in the seat with parents. Flew next to a bub once in business.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Think you’re that pilot 😂.

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OP as a cabin crew member I apologise for his behaviour. That is not how we are supposed to act. In fact I’ve dealt with a rude Qatar pilot before. He did’t think a female should disagree with him. Well I let him know and that it’s not that way outside the Middle East.

When I commute or deadheading, which is weekly, I always use very good sound reducing over the ear headphones. When babies fly, they are going to cry, between pressure changes, the engine noises, thumps, uncomfortable positions to lighting. It happens. I’d rather listen to a baby cry, than the adults do their version over the most trivial thing.

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How did you know he's a pilot and what has that got to do with this situation? He's obviously not Qatar staff since he was in economy with the bassinets. He sounds vile but I'm a little confused by the correlation.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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He was dressed as a pilot sir. And attendant also confirmed asking hows his flight. Youll never understand

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I would find it strange seeing flight crew in uniform flying as pax. FAs ask everyone how their flight is going, I don't think it's unique to pilots. I was on your side but given your rude response maybe you were the problem.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Im sorry

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It’s called deadheading or commuting. We do it all the time to move from one place to another.

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Not in uniform according to my contacts in the industry

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I’m a cabin crew member, I’d think I would know. 11 of us are doing a 22 hour deadhead in plain clothes on Sunday.

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As you mentioned, in plainclothes not in uniform. The contacts I asked are also flight crew (pilot/FA) and have policies against flying in uniform. But my data is only from 2 major airlines, not a good data set for sure.

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Right, and when we have to immediately work a flight we go in uniform. I don’t live where I work, so I commute to work, that way I wear my uniform to work and I’m ready to go. Especially since we don’t have an office at that airport to change.

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I'm surprised you are being downvoted because a pilot didn't bring noise canceling headphones on a flight.

Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Im surprised too. Very surprised that a lot here doesnt like babies on a flight or that a cry which is their nature isnt acceptable. We always consider other peoples comfort and soothe our baby when crying but for some its really tragic

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Don't let these people get you down. Babies cry. That's just what they do. It's not your fault.

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🙄It is public transport. He should have flown private if he wanted to be assured of no other people.

Moderator removed comment

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Sharp-Stable1059

OP

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Ur not reading. He wasnt part of Qatar crew so pls give ur opinion somewhere else