This man sleeps with predators.
Do those cheetahs know how reckless that is? That human is a wild animal, and at any moment could decide it’s hungry and turn them into a cheetah burger with no remorse!
Has no one informed them where Cheetos come from?
So Chester is advocating for genocide....of his own people??
Chester is a cartoon drawn by hungry people. Coincidence? I think not.
Does the other one know its partner is a cheetah
La Malincheetah
It's not easy being cheesey
Lol
Mmmmmmmm cheetos
This is actually a fact. How dumb and incompetent humans can be, we are still the #1 predator on this planet. We're more powerful than anything that has lived on this planet, as far as we know. We got that #1 position because of one thing only, our brain.
Also throwing shit
Edit: Accurately throwing shit
And not just shit, but rocks, and pointy sticks, and small chunks of metal
shade...
Basically a bullet is just a pionty rock but really really fast.
(Not actually) Fun Fact: the lead shot thrown from slings used by Roman Auxiliaries 2000 years ago could kill at 300 yards and had a similar launch velocity as a .44 magnum. Gun's just easier to use.
we even smear the stuff we throw with shit sometimes for extra dps!
And sweating.. We can catch food by picking up a bunch of rocks, throwing it at an antelope on a hot day and jogging after it, whenever it stops running, throw another rock at it. After about 10k or so of that, it overheats and falls over.
We win because we don't overheat thanks to sweat and because we don't stop when others do
The lesson for modern humans is this.. Perseverance is the key to success, also being sweaty and smelly and yelling and throwing things.. But mostly persistence.
And endurance. We can outpace most animals in a endurance race as long as we could track it (and we were pretty good) we could wear down most pray. They could run away for sure, but take longer to recover. We were like peppi le pew. Slow and steady wins the race.
I've read some articles it's thanks to our asses and hips storing calories as well as being verticle walkers making us great at long distance runs.
Yeah, we're great endurance athletes, but the biggest advantage is our ability to communicate, strategize, and work in teams. This has accomplished a world domination the likes of which Pinky and the Brain have yet to overcome.
Also making shit that throws shit better and farther than we can throw shit with our shit
I read something the other day about how the ability to accurately throw something is pretty much a human super power that's not really found anywhere else in nature. It's basically our version of a bats echolocation or dogs super sense of smell.
Imagining being a falcon, moving at 200+km/h, divebombing down on a smaller bird, moving at an angle to your own vector at 40ish km/h and doing that math in the seconds, or less, you have as you're closing in on it. In three dimensions. With a falcon-sized brain. It's an interesting theory but I don't think it holds much water.
Yeah I also considered that. Every creature already has the hardware for proprioception relating to their own body. Probably judging external objects is more difficult. It's like, where am I = level 1. Where is my target = level 2. Where do I need to aim a third object to intersect the first two in the right time and place = level 3. But the falcon thing was too much of a juicy point to make that I couldn't help myself.
Nah. Cheetahs have to do that to catch their prey. They have to jump towards where their prey is going to be in order to catch it and bite it in the throat.
More importantly that brain allows us to create cat videos.
There is also calculus involved to calculate the necessary trajectory accounting for the effects of gravity, elevation, and wind.
Humans may be fleshy but they can fuck shit up hardcore. I remember seeing a video of a sloth bear or something killing a dude in a village. They eventually killed the bear by just constantly throwing rocks and whatever at it.
And our predilection for using twigs to accomplish tasks. The last 20,000 years has seen startling developments in twig technology.
Was he on that show then where they pretend to be kids looking to meet?
If they’re anything like my cats there has to be an open laptop in there somewhere. Or possibly a book.
A board game
A nice pillow that the human is trying to use
Cheetahs are very anxious creatures. They require a support animal in captivity. Doubt they would hunt humans unless extremely desperate.
Am….am I a cheetah?
"And my wolf pack cheetah coalition, it grew by one."
Maybe. But give yourself some time and you might become a cougar ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
You assume that I’m younger than my actual age. Rawr.
I can neither confirm nor deny that. We move in silence, unseen until we pounce.
Spirit animals but you’re just the negatives
So I’m slow and my joints hurt unless I move?
Hey man me too
Nah! Cheetahs are cute.
I’m in captivity WITHOUT my support animal, and THIS is how you treat me?????
Probably not cheetahs are so inbreeded that you can take tissue from one cheetah and implant it into another cheetah and have no worry about rejection or even need a immunosuppressants, their bodies are just like this organ this organ has always been a part of me.
So, you’re saying there’s an ultimate test for cheetah-ness?
They don't even attempt to hunt humans under any circumstance. There are no recorded incidences of cheetahs attacking humans. They just don't. They're built for fast and not for fight so they don't even try to mess with anything that's actually a threat to them. Incidentally this is also part of why royalty liked keeping them as pets; they're expensive to keep thanks to how much space they need and not particularly useful but also aren't a threat.
Yup, guide on safari recently said the same. Had they not been eating when we came across them, he said he would have walked right over and sat next to them without any fear they'd do anything.
That and they’re incredibly inbreed. So much so that you can take a skin graph from any cheetahs and use it on another with no issues. It’s also leading to deformities in their skeletal development.
But, will the spots match up?
No. That’s Dalmatians. The pale-eyed ones go blind as they get older.
Good thing there are 101 of them.
So inbred they feel right at-home with the royals
Good lord you’re a fact machine or the cheetah bot.
Maybe that's why their immune systems are so bad..
And if I remember correctly they can’t even roar.
But they can purr.
Hey now that’s a bit much to blame them for. I mean you can’t roar either! 😛
I believe there was, like, only one recorded case of a cheetah killing a human, and it was purely because someone hid in a zoo in Belgium until after closing, found the key to the cheetah cages, and tried to do what OP did.
So there is a record I can break.
Im gonna go sleep with ones wife.
ayooo cheetah
wassuuuup?
i got a little nervous and now i need a comfort human sleeper
okaaaay
In this case the human is the support animal 🤣
I thought I saw a documentary or read somewhere that 90% of a cheetahs diet is thomi gazelles and that if their prey didn't try to run away they wouldn't really know how to attack it. They are triggered instinctively to attack from behind, so if you turn to face them they don't know what to do.
I don't know how true that stuff is.
I’ve heard that’s largely how cats in general are. Including domestic cats.
Like if they see a bird they flip into predator mode, but if the bird turns around and looks as them and doesn’t fly away or try to escape, doesn’t act like prey, the cat goes “oh. Um. Ok. Uhhh… want to play? I guess?” Or just walks away, foiled again.
I don’t know how true it is. I don’t want to test it personally with any big cats.
Oh! That explains why the neighborhood cats never tried to mess with our chickens when we had them. I figured it was because there were about the same size, so chickens weren’t easy prey. The chickens weren’t happy about the cats but they didn’t run away either.
I got attacked by Chickens when I was a child. Chickens are pricks.
Man i remember big boi we had was about an 8 pound Rooster beautiful black and green colors but he was a monster. One day we took them someplace new to graze outside the property give them a new change of pace you know. Fucking dog came out of nowhere. BIG BOI wasn't playing that shit he charged that dog full speed and gave them the old double tap talons. I was across the way working on something so i ran to the friends house let the dogs out to handle our shit. Me and them took off after the flock watching a death match between an 8 pound chicken and an 80 pound big dog. We got their i was ready to throw hands so was big Boi. Reggie my stocky ass boxer came in with the headbutt full speed then hit them with the one two paw smacks while he was on his back. That dog knew he fucked up and took off like a bullet. Took me all day to find the flock cause they scattered leaving Big Boi to handle the business. We recovered them all and then i held Big Boi and gave him earthworms as a reward for being a Good Boi.
Sad story though after that he was never the same, super violent always on edge ironically still cool with Reggie 100% scared of humans and other dogs though. Finally we kept his talons clipped but he managed to get my little niece in the face. No permanent damage but still he needed a new home. We all hugged him and said our good byes gave him his favorite treats and let him "service the hens one last time." Gave him to a buddy who was raising meat chickens and didn't have little ones. Sad to see him go were talking an 8-9 pound chicken here was gonna breed him with big mama who is about 6-7 pounds with similar coloring to create a monster race of huge chickens for their meat and massive eggs.
Next top dawg rooster was Hedwig total asshole 100%. smaller then the girls with a Napoleon complex. Such an asshole the bigger roosters would rather leave him alone then take the top spot from him. I culled his ass as soon as he was big enough to eat no regrets fuck YOU Hedwig.
Bird established dominance.
Sometimes they know they’re modern dinosaurs, man. Terrifying.
Yeah they're dangerous if you're untrained and unfamiliar with them but they develop strong interpersonal relationships with familiar handlers and support animals. They're downright docile if you're cautious and familiar with them. They let golden retrievers and sometimes even capybaras stay with them in their pens. No other pure predator species that I know of that they do that with (some scavengers, like foxes, get animal companions, but they're not strict predators).
Was recently on safari and our guide said that there's never been a recorded incident of a cheetah killing a human. We were within maybe 50ft of 5 of them (mother and 4 teens) that had just made a kill. He said if they weren't eating he'd have had no problem walking right over and sitting next to them and they weren't domesticated.
Cheetahs are actually the only big cat that don't hunt for fun, only out of necessity whereas a lion or tiger will maul you to death just to pass the time!
I don't know if it was this clip but I do know there's a clip of a guy sleeping on a raised platform with cheetahs and a thunderstorm scares them. Cuddle mode activated.
I'd spoon a cheetah
Aren't they pretty much just a big house cat? Same temper, unpredictability, yet super bondable?
You can't be more safe while sleeping :)
Don't know about that, Cheetahs are cowards and can outrun you, so smart on their part if there's danger.
Unless they are just keeping their breakfast warm.
Cheetahs are essentially harmless to humans
We also apparently bred and raised them for racing and hunting in North Africa/Egypt thousands of years ago. There’s hieroglyphics and pictographs of cheetahs on leashes, hunting alongside chariots and kept in cages.
Strange to consider an alternate future where we domesticated them instead of greyhounds.
I’ve heard they were popular pets for royalty across many of the west and southern African kingdoms (although they’ve since been wiped out from many of those areas, sadly). Supposedly they make very good pets: smarter and more sociable than cats.
They also have high anxiety for a cat and love companions like dogs that are chill.
Even in India as recently as the Mughal Empire, people kept cheetahs as pets, but the damned Britishers made it illegal and turned them into a game animal 😡
I've read that they're very difficult to breed in captivity. Their mating rituals take place over stretches of dozens of miles. I still want a pet cheetah though
Yes, I hate when people act like they're lions
They have spindly breakable legs and a short mouth. They can't use their paws to swat or manipulate the way a lion, tiger, or even cougar can, because their legs are specialized for running and aren't built right for that. Blunt claws too, and naturally timid.
A 1v1 to the death between the average cheetah and the average human would end with the human having significant wounds to their arms, probably some scratches in other places, and the cheetah being strangled to death.
Hmm yes, my villain name will be henceforth “The Cheetah strangler”
Noooo ;_; despite my shit talk I love them
THE CHEETAH STRANGLER, once a burdened zoologist, he was bitten by a radioactive cheetah, now he prowls the city nights looking for small dogs and the occasional old lady walking the streets at night. He’s as fast as a cheetah, a great climber like a cheetah, and with the large hands and tendencies of Homer Simpson. BEWARE CITIZENS, you may never know where he might be!!! jaguar snarl cause the cheetah’s real sounds are too soft
CUT! Cut, Cut, Cut!
director walks over you see, you may be a villain, but you’re here for comedic value. You’re not actually dangerous.
Now we need a Real Cheetah Meow in this scene.
We got you looking all dangerous with your get up. But the Meow is what brings it all together.
OKAY, ONE MORE TIME FROM THE TOP
“…meow…”
Pls don’t 1v1 a cheetah
Yes, they are babies and need help
To back that up with a quick google for context: An adult tiger is in the weight range of 140 - 680 pounds (big range in general, but also because the males are quite a bit bigger than the females). Lions have a more narrow range at 265-550 pounds. A cheetah is only 46-160 pounds as an adult.
Although I do think that your "1v1" is ignoring the fact that these are ambush predators, which is why they are built that way, and if an attack looks like it is turning out risky they will abandon it on approach. I think your scenario is a pretty likely outcome of an adult cheetah attacking an adult male human that sees them coming, but in the scenario of that same 100 pound cheetah hitting a surprised human in the back at 70 mph... things don't go as well for the human.
I feel like the average human could have a hard time taking out a Maine Coon. I wouldn't put my money on any normal person, like the woman in the video, going up against a big cat.
That's the thing, isn't it? People think "big cat" about them and instantly go to "hopeless danger". Cheetahs aren't a true big cat, or even a big cat at all. They are the only member of their genus Acinonyx and more closely related to the small cats.
Cheetahs hunt by sprinting down their prey, tripping them, then biting the throat to strangle them.
I could defend myself against a cheetah and I'm completely confident in this. The key is hands. Hands are a game changer.
The cheetah sprints to you, you are holding your arms crossed in front of your head, it jumps, you catch its head and then kick the shit out of it while you strangle it. There isn't anything significant they can do with the rest of their limbs. Your arms will get mangled but the cheetah will die.
I'm an out of shape short woman. I have been within 10 feet of tigers, lions, bears, and cougars. Cheetahs aren't like them. They are too specialized for running down antelope. I would be far more afraid of a dog the size of a cheetah than of a cheetah.
Custom kitchen deliveries
They will literally run from an intruder lol. Fast asf
Oh how I want to be in that cuddle puddle
Finally, someone else who still uses "cuddle puddle"
Cuddle puddle is what we use here too in Wales, UK.
I’ve always wanted to visit wales and even learn a little welsh, my grandfather is from there and my gran is from Liverpool, he used to tell me stories about picking shrapnel up off the bombing ranges as a kid to help the family income, was a shop sweep and then moved to Canada with his wife and after some schooling went on to become a part of upper management at a manufacturing plant in Ontario. I miss him a lot but it was better for him to go, he had dementia and was suffering from strokes and seeing him decline was hard. I still remember him coming to all my rugby games as a kid and teaching me how to tackle proper and tricks I could use to take down bigger opponents, the man was a brick shit house and at 70 could lift 12 foot+ boards by himself for his carpentry projects, all hand built and for family. Sorry for the rant just miss the man a lot.
I’m glad you had a place to share this!
Thank you, it was about two and a half years ago now, I spent weekends up there as a kid on their property riding dirt bikes until I was about 16 but he taught me a lot, I didn’t get to see my dad much which isn’t his fault. He worked night shifts as a millwright in the same manufacturing plant as my grandfather so it was always a bit of his wisdom mixed with my fathers, before he passed he couldn’t really say much, but when I was there holding his hand, he told me to take my time with life because everyone else is too busy to see the beauty hiding in plain sight. I took that in stride and have taken my time to appreciate the finer details in life and he was right. He passed away a couple days later and had his body donated for research purposes at one of the universities. After a day or two our whole family got together and ended making a plaque for my gran and pops at their favourite tree overlooking their property. I go up and visit when I can, sit on the bench we used to share by the big tree and just talk about my life, how things are going, and what’s new, I know I won’t get a response but sitting in the quiet in the country with no one else around is peaceful and helps get my mind off stuff.
My cheetah does the same thing, how weird
Why are you yelling? 👁️👄👁️
Now, you listen to me, sir. The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult!
Sorry, is this better?
This is Dolph C. Volker. He has a pretty awesome YouTube channel. His nickname is the Cheetah whisperer. He is an animal behaviorist and zoologist.
Dolph C. Volker
The videos are great, and he's willing to endure pain to bond with his cheetahs.
He lets them lick him until they scrape the skin raw and it draws blood. Their tongues are like metal wire brushes.
How Sharp Are Cheetah Tongues? | BIG CAT Licks Friends Arm Until Bleeds For Science
That was a great episode. You could imagine how effective their tongues are when they are eating their prey.
I can already see them knocking things off a shelf, running around the house at 3am and sleeping on the sunspot in my balcony. Cats are gonna cat.
imagine getting up to pee and getting blasted through a wall because your cheetah got the zoomies?
WE GOT THE ZOOMIES
Imagine your cheetah jumping on your belly yo wake you up at 5am because it's hungry.
Not particularly dangerous (relative to other cats), cheetahs do not have the best tools for hurting humans. More so just chasing them down (which they are waaaaay too anxious to do). Cheetahs don’t fuck with people. They aren’t even big Cats, the literal variety. Easy way to tell the difference is if they can purr versus roar, only small cats can purr (like cheetahs) whereas big cats usually chuff or huff, but can roar like a lion or tiger
They scream too, I believe. And chirp. They are the bigger of the little cats.
Oversized house cats.
You mean *just right* sized :)
I’ll take 2
They also way like 20kg or smth
They are not the greatest at anything except running. All their skill points went into it. There’s a reason they are given emotional support dogs when in captivity, they just do not handle conflict well
They went all endurance and stamina, nowhere else. They seriously gotta respec if they wanna stay in the meta
So true bestie, worst bit is they still get out juked by their prey so their overwhelming speed can be a hindrance rather than a benefit
I have heard of a Three Dog Night but this is ridiculous. And adorable.
This comment is proof that I have no original thoughts.
Cheetahs are misunderstood, incredible animals. Would love to devote some life and love to those incredible beings.
Honestly I don't think this is as dangerous as people think. Cheetahs have speed and teeth and that's it. Their claws are made more for running and are blunt. Yes a cheetah can bites you and are wild, but compared to other large cats they're a lot less aggressive.
Also I've seen some of the people other humans sleep beside...are they really any more dangerous than people?
I still think it's dangerous. He is right on the edge of that platform! those cheetahs could wiggle a little and then he would fall right off! He ought to be right in the middle.
HAHA! Right?! He could also die of snuggle overdose. Very dangerous situation. lol
This guy is a zoologist that specilises in cheetahs and works at a big cat rehab center in SA. Those cheetahs are if a I remember curretly are part of the Cheetah Ambassador program which are used to teach the public about cheetahs. You can check out his channel and learn about it more
Nice, thank you for sharing.
Cheetah's get anxious and nervous in captivity. This is why people are there for them and they get puppies to grow up with.
Yes, I know they’re predators. Yes, I know that they could kill me. Yes, I know I wouldn’t stand a chance. However, all my brain can think is: “LOOK AT THE KITTY CUDDLES” 🥰🥰🥰 I wanttttt
Edit: changed “will” to “could” because people were missing my joke 😅
Not those kitties. Cheetahs have never killed a person and attacks are rare.
Never ever??
Edit: looks like there have been at least two, one was a toddler in South Africa and the other an adult woman in Belgium.
Two ever is a very tiny number of deaths: however, there have also been a number of non-fatal attacks.
Belgium
🤷♀️
That just sounds like an instance of karma for some idiot with an “exotic pet” ...
It was in a zoo, so still an idiot.
yeah we dont really acknowledge it because zoos do a lot of good for nature, but they are essentially inhumane animal prisons where they’re stuck in an area 10 to 100 times smaller than their natural territories (even more for birds).
Imagine being stuck in an area 10 times smaller than your home plot/apartment for life with one invisible wall that weirdly dressed strangers that make loud noises like a giant hive walk past and occasionally flash light at you, it sounds absolutely monotonous and miserable.
"And this scar I got while having a cuddle puddle with cheetahs! And THIS is frm where he got rambunctious and caught me with a tooth! It was amazing!!"
Well now I feel that much closer to obtaining the kitty cuddles I’m craving right now
I agree it’s the lion and leopard you better watch out for tigers too but they’re not native to the African continent. I was supposed to go to South Africa this month but something else came up.😞😥
Cheetahs aren't true big cats and have severe anxiety and are unironically one of the better exotics that people should try to domesticate. They get paired with dogs as there outgoing nature helps the Cheetah with their anxiety. But no we can't have that instead vain people want monkeys (who my hatred for is a mix of both reasonable and unreasonable) and tigers ( its a fucking tiger) which are a sign we truelly live in a society
Thank you! Cheetahs aren't dangerous like the stereotypical "big cats." They're much more loving and I think easier to bond with. They absolutely need human intervention to keep from going extinct too. I hope we can keep them from ever going down to the serious genetic bottleneck they had in the past.
Cheetahs rely far more heavily on training for critical skills like hunting, depending on a parent to teach them what most cats know by instinct. This reliance on and openness to training is what makes them more suitable to captivity and cross species association/play.
As for having one as a pet, they require more exercise/enrichment and space to run than most "collectors" in the US can afford. Not that they should have any large predators as "pets".
Other fun facts: Mount lions are not large cats either, despite being even larger than cheetahs.
Cheetahs have anxiety?! Omg. Cheetahs must now be placed on my family crest.
Finally someone else who hates monkeys.
What are they anxious about?
being the ultimate speedster but having a low hunt success rate, its pretty destressing to be so rad and yet not get lunch.
Honestly everything, cheetahs get bullied by literally all of the animals in their habitat it’s to the point that cheetah cubs fur is similar to honey badgers as not many predators will mess with honey badgers, cheetahs get chased away from food that they caught themselves by lions leopards hyenas and even vultures it’s to the point were a successful hunt could leave the cheetah to have a overall anxiety attack
i always wondered why cheetah cubs looked like that! Thanks!
Eminent extinction because their ancestors dumped all their points into "go fast" and forgot you need more to survive in the African server.
“We are trying to live in a society here!”
If I could live on a ranch with a cheetah and a capybara I would be so happy
Cheetahs are actually decently tame around humans.
Cats gonna cat.
Predators yes but look at the first one, he's scared. Cheetahs ain't lions, they're smaller (like 60kg/130 pounds), built to run, and attack mostly when they know they would win (isolated calf, senior antelope). While I'm convinced a pack could overpower an human, why would they, they are most certainly fed.
Literally what my house cat does
Same. And even though mine are normal house cat sized (10-15lbs), that pile is what they feel like when it’s 3am and I need to go to the bathroom.
He is now one with the pack. He is a cheetah now.
Cheetahs may be predators, but they're not really apex. They rely on pursuit hunting and rarely pursue prey that can put up any kind of fight. They're unlikely to show aggression toward domestic animals and humans, and often have anxiety issues which prompt them to seek comfort.
Looks like the warmest bed tbh
I remember this video, apparently they were scared of a storm/thunder at the moment.
I want a cuddle cheetah
Emotional support cheetah
Your more likely to be the emotional support animal when it comes to cheetahs. They have extreme anxiety issues unironically
I want too!!!!!
This dude is straight up drowning in pussy
A menage à cat...
Girl is "cheeting" on her BF.
At least he is warm under all that
FYI, I'm pretty sure this is Doplh Volker, he has a YouTube channel all about his work with this animal sanctuary somewhere in South Africa.
Found it, I think: https://youtube.com/@CheetahWhisperer
Cheetahs: the dogs of cats
Cheetah caught on camera sleeping with man. Partner heartbroken
This man is living my dream and I am so jealous!!
Cheetahs are more gentle than cats
Dolph Volker More videos here if you're interested https://m.youtube.com/c/DolphCVolker/videos
According to the guy the only thing that hurts is the before bed groming.
Sounds cute but those tounges are like sandpaper and are made for licking meat of bones xD
In my youth, I regularly slept with a vicious apex predator who would chase down its prey and pick its carcass clean. Then I divorced her.
He's just a big kitty boys
Just a big, stoned, horny kitty
I have six cats and this is a purrfect example of every sleep I try to get.
Wow, they act just like my cats, down to the get up and stretch and shift positions.
Well, iirc cheetah's are closer to house cats than lions
The true definition of a cuddle puddle
Like all cats, they trick you into thinking that they love you when on reality all they want is your body heat
This pack of cheetahs is exploiting the humans natural vulnerability to cuteness. Once the pack has sneakily covered their victim under the pretence of wanting cuddles they will not move until the prey is cooked alive by their body heat. The victim still paralysed by their cuteness will not notice the sheer danger he finds himself in until it is too late and is suffering from severe dehydration , his strength sapped to the point where escape is virtually impossible. Nature truly is cruel.
Those cheetahs are sleeping with the ultimate predator.