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That’s because it is none of her business!
And it's creepy as hell!
That was creepy, is she super religious or something?
It's totally okay to not want to bring another innocent life into this world but knowing you'd have to spend time with her as a grandparent is something to consider, may impact both you and the kid directly.
Yeah, she's extremely religious. Freaks me out and feels like a betrayal somehow, like she doesn't actually give a damn about me, she sees me as a vessel to manufacture her grandchild in.
Eww, gross. I’d avoid having kids anywhere near her because of her behavior.
I relate to this so much. My parents are super religious/conservative in some ways, while they don’t necessarily expect me to have children (that’s one thing they surprisingly don’t fight me on) it’s like their ideology is all they care about, more than they could ever care about me. They don’t see me as a person, they see me as an extension of themselves, their beliefs, their values; even their likes/dislikes. I wish we got to experience what real, unconditional love from a parent feels like, op.
I want to prepare your body, for bearing a child.
She only said this when you resisted her "innocent" suggestion for you to eat more. That makes it so much more gross.
Are you Hungarian btw?
YES! That's the other thing, I'm amazed you could pick it up from these three sentences I shared - I'm guessing you've experienced someone like this before yourself. It's like I throw soft boundaries up and she nudges past them until she hits my core and I freak out. And then she gets hurt.
I'm not Hungarian, but I consider Hungary my second home and speak Hungarian fluently. Long story haha.
I'm guessing you've experienced someone like this before yourself
That's why we're here :P I'm also a programmer, so I'm used to thinking critically about (terse) descriptions of sequences of events.
And then she gets hurt.
That's just part of the tactic, you are supposed to feel bad which is intended to soften you up for manipulation.
The nasty part is (in my experience) that it also sensitizes one to "innocent remarks" because there may be a hidden agenda behind it every single time. It really wears you down, which also seems logical when interpreted as a tactic.
PS. I can't diagnose anybody of course, but I do know that consistently not respecting boundaries is a big theme in narcissistic psychopathology.
I'm not Hungarian, but I consider Hungary my second home and speak Hungarian fluently. Long story haha.
Cool. I spent many summers there. Don't speak the language (yet) other than "nem beszélek Magyarul" haha.
To be fair not everyone here has had the same kinds of traumas. I don’t immediately relate to every post I read.
Yeah, there was a while in which I was quite paranoid towards everybody and felt suspicious towards everyday dialogue. To be honest I might still be paranoid.
Bur strangely the thing that’s helped me quite a bit is to just stop caring so much, even about overtly unhealthy remarks. Like this one from my mom yesterday freaked me the hell out, but after writing this post I let it go and I didn’t have a “talk” with her or try to change her or convince her that what she did was wrong. Now it’s enough that I know it was wrong.
Nice! It’s a beautiful country. If only its government would appreciate that more.
Idk if this helps or not, but when absolutely forced to deal with my mom, I picture her as a toddler who is just not capable of sensitivity, and redirect her whenever she hits a nerve. Talk about her, they usually helps. The best thing is just not talking to them, but it's not always feasible for everyone.
Yeah, this is what I try to do, too. Just yesterday she really hit a nerve and I felt repulsed. But this is the best tactic, I think.
Now it’s enough that I know it was wrong.
Yep, not expecting them to change or learn is key.
Ah. I'm Hungarian and your name was like oooooh fellow magyar here. Already tried imagining the original discussion in my head 😅
ugh, I'm really sorry you have to deal with that.
Of course having kids is your call entirely, was just thinking about how some people who couldn't parent their way out of a wet paper bag suddenly think they have all these entitlements, even 'rights' as a grandparent. Although that could be readily (not necessarily easily) solved by going low or no contact.
I think you might be in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.. no pun intended!
This exactly is my mother in law.
Is it the christian or another abrahamic religion? The christian religion has a lot of very screwed up ideas about sacrificing the body to the will of the religion. Zero boundaries and lots of meat-grinder type notions. Of course, in the heads of the practitioners, these get slapped with all sorts of rationalizing labels, so that they file this sort of thinking under "love" and "caring" and "living the right life". In my view/experience, they aren't able to understand this stuff as what it is, without first realizing that their religion is a cannibal religion. For some of them, to cram a child into the mold labeled "religious compliance" is an act of love. For others of them of course it's not quite that bad and they are able to back off from this sort of shit a bit, at least at times. However I've found there are always points at which the essential crazy comes out.
I'm so very sorry.
Tell me about it!! I once asked my mum if she would still love me if I was gay (I wasn’t sure at the time n exploring it), n she said yes but it’s also not in the bible.. sooo kinda flawed n screwy psychological bs answer..🙄🫤🤫😱🤯😱🤯 but then, I pointed out to her another member of our family is openly gay, why should she be allowed n no one ☝️ else? She smiled ever so sickly sweet n tried to rationalise it as that she was the exception in our family.. can you believe that?!?
Well then I said to her I don’t care what you think is right or wrong 😑 I’m just gonna do whatever the hell I feel like n told her it’s mine if her business n then she tried to have me sit down 🪑 for longer than I wanted n allow her to brainwash her with stupid ideology.. including the fact that I had also pointed out to her that she thought having sex with children is perfectly fine just coz she is Norwegian 🇳🇴!!! Which is horse shit!!! 💩 I told her I am her precious lil oussy any more n then she threw a raging hissy 🐍 fit when I reminded her of the time she had raped me when I was a kid n yk this day, she gets excited at the thought of “sharing the bed 🛌 with me” at any given opportunity!!!! I fucking pegged it outta the house that day n back to my own home 🏠 I mean FFS COME ON MUM!!!! I DON’T FUCKING SUBSCRIBE TO BEING A BLOODY PEDOPHILE FOR GOD’S SAKE!!! I HATE MY MUM SO MUCH I WILL PROB DANCE A MERRY JIG ON HER GRAVE!!! I also got resentful of the fact that my gay cousin is allowed to keep her CHILD, but according to UK LAW, if you don’t pander to Christianity ✝️ n people poking their nose where it is not wanted then somehow your a criminal n especially if you have autism n a child like me!!! I was put under immense pressure not only to be the sole child bearer in the family n eventually I just snapped..!! Ergo what happened as a result AFTER THAT LIL INCIDENT…. !!!! My mum is always wanting to know if my bf is home too or available for any “help”, but I am pretty darn fucking sure she is still tryna pressure me to “share him” with her coz apparently I am hellbound if I don’t, or done sorry sack of shit 💩 bullshit… she’s the one ☝️ who is gonna burn in hell for her crimes, NOT ME!!!!! ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️😜I prefer to hail Satan instead 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
unholy smokes she is a mess and that's an understatement only because I tend to do that when appalled.
I'm so sorry you had, and have, to deal with that.
What is this? "she thought having sex with children is perfectly fine just coz she is Norwegian" -- what's up with Norway?
I ran across a little writeup which I feel explains so much of, or at least shines a light on, the abrahamic religious weirdness about kids and kids' bodies but I don't want to just plop the link here because I feel it is disturbing, and of any children anywhere I don't want to trigger here. If you're down for it, search 'akedah and history child sacrifice redemption'. If your result is my result it will be the first link or very close to it. Add to that, that "submitting" to all these beliefs is the prime way of demonstrating spiritual "goodness", at least in christianity, and ... yeah. A mentality of abuse is the fabric of it in my opinion.
When people pretend that the nominally pro-oppressed portion of the teachings of the messiah figure are all there is (but for an interesting take on that, look up what the Mandaeans think & thought then of the christ figure and especially his "lying"), in my view they are just being codependent and facilitating those who follow the visibly dark side of it. So often they do this while wearing that sickly sweet expression you mentioned.
Hi I honestly 🤷♀️ have no clue.. about that whole thing about why my mum thinks pedoism is ok.. she ok said that basically it’s down to the environment n surrounding obstacles which apperently made it hard back in the day to travel n meet new peoples but then that’s like saying “ oh yes my darling, I still live in a very outdated fashion n whatever only j think is right.!” She is a colossal cunt.
But then, on the other hand, she conveniently forgot to mention that she knows it’s wrong to abuse children in such a horrific manner, or, that really, she was just too lazy to grow up! N find a decent bf!!! I know how judgy that sounds believe me!! But, it’s like she accused her own father of molesting her, n her uncle, but then I heard from everybody who helped raise her after my grandparents got divorced, I heard that she was some reckless wild child!! She claims to love all her children but hooo boy!! Just wait until she gets drunk 🥴 n demanding 😥 that’s when her real colours come flying out n if we confront her about the next day, she gets all uppity n accuses us of being too “sensitive”. Well I am terribly sorry mum, but sen sad n sensitive people are FUCKING PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU!!! You’re just an abusive LIL WHINY 😫 BITCH, n that is the reason why I hate her so much.,!!
I really hope this answers your question a lil bit. I fi know this much tho; Norway 🇳🇴 isn’t all full of pedos.. I just come on here to rant mostly before I go to sleep 😴 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Hope this helps hun ☺️😊🤞
my hardcore atheist dad is a lot like this too lmao. i think a lot of the surrounding attitudes are because he was raised christian—and has increasingly surrounded himself with religious nutcases as a byproduct of surrounding himself with conspiracy theorist and anti-feminist nutcases—but i think more so than that, whatever fucked him up just never let him develop a more nuanced view of life than “we evolved to maximize our genes’ differential fitness, therefore that is our purpose”.
he’d always tell me how much he loves me unconditionally and wants me to be happy, but even though i was never rebellious enough to find out first hand, it’s been clear as long as i can remember that that doesn’t mean unconditional respect for who i am or what i choose to do. it means shaping me into the father he wants for his grandkids—financially stable and “morally strong” enough to be happy i gave them as perfect and enlightened an upbringing as he gave me—no matter what it takes. i have natural strengths to work with and natural weaknesses to work on, and that’s all that makes me me.
for the longest time i honestly shared so many of his views, and that axiomatic emphasis on reproduction as an end in and of itself was something i held onto even after i’d talked myself out of most of it, but i couldn’t help but be unnerved by how he got around the subject in general. “sterilization” is a crime tantamount to murder, and anything that could effect a choice not to have (or even just to have fewer) genetic offspring counts as “sterilization”. so much drama and anxiety around environmental risks of reproductive harm, but also so much condescension towards all those “miserable” childless adults out there supposedly ruining others’ lives to make themselves feel better, and fear of “propaganda” and “brainwashing” in the service of “depopulation programs” and turning us into “worker ants”.
my sister innocently told him once that she wasn’t sure she wasn’t attracted to other women, and i don’t know how much of this he ever said to her face—the joys of being a parentified confidant, am i right—but ever since then he would not shut up about how worried he was, that our mom was so “narrative-addled” that she would try to make her a lesbian, or that she would never approve of her having a boyfriend because that would get in the way of their relationship, or whatever else i don’t want to dredge up. at the time i had of course already long accepted that, while i had no idea about my own sexuality and couldn’t hope to meet (or actually like) a partner he couldn’t rattle off ten red flags about any time soon even if he could accept that i had the time and energy to spare for a relationship, i would be “smart” enough to just go out into the world, make a female friend who would be willing to let me get her pregnant with no deeper emotional connection (mostly because he’d taught me better than to trust any woman ever, but it’s also not like i ever saw one between my parents), and hope he doesn’t get to know her well enough at the wedding to figure out she isn’t the perfect submissive daughter in law he wanted. if the result’s the same, he just doesn’t need to know.
really, it’s worse than just reducing you to a child factory, because it’s recentering every facet of your being around it—not ignoring the totality of who you are, but casting it under the harsh gaze of a singular purpose. assets to use or problems to fix.
Please. Don't visit your mother again ubtil she changes her behavior.
And don't visit her if you ever get a kid
This whole thing blows my mind because wanting a grandchild but you have your own child but somehow having a grandchild trumps being aware of treating you. With respect. Anyway I'm Sorry sounds hard to deal with but sounds. Like you did a superb job Of being very clear and having a strong boundary. Food is so personal too
Do you live with her?
Oh thank God you're an adult. It doesn't make it less creepy but I worry about girls out there that are underage and being groomed to think that's all they're good for. I'm still pissed, and you're still getting the blanket and cocoa .. and especially the ghibli movie. But at least you know she's a fuckin nightmare. My mom says inappropriate shit like this all the time and it makes my skin crawl. I'm so sorry
in my country girls are sent to get arranged marriages to older men and have their passports thrown out so that they can't leave...it's awful :(
Omg 😨 hugs 🫂 😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😣😣😖😖😖😖😖😖😣😢
Oh... oh I.. I can't even form words right now.. could you tell us some way we could help? Like Is there an organization you know of trying to fight it we can donate to or anything? I fully understand not wanting to talk about it openly if it's some countries though. It's a rough place to be stuck in, one I can't even imagine. But this broke my fuckin heart.. I can't imagine being somewhere they just condoned the shit a lot of us went through as kids. Adds a layer of horror I can't process right away but will probably not stop thinking about for years to come.
It never happened to me (plus im moving away soon) but here is a great video on it which helped me gain awareness as well
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYPyI1agpiw&t=308s&pp=ygUbY2hpbGRyZW4gYnJvdGhlbCBpbmRpYSB2aWNl
I live near this country currently
Moms will try that shit. Absolutely selfish AF so yeah be on guard lol
Rightfully so, I physically gagged reading this. I'm so sorry your mother said that to you. It must feel so gross. I hope you know that whatever she's saying has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. And more than that, I hope you can leave that environment sooner rather than later.
Well, that's totally weird and inappropriate... what the hell
that sounds like a lead up to a Blumhouse horror film, fucking hell OP
My personal go-to in situations like that is to turn full stupid. They get annoyed/mad and storm off.
“What do you mean bear a child? Like a bear cub?”
“What? No, carrying a child.”
“Carrying it where? So you’re saying I should start lifting weights? How big is the child?”
“No, being pregnant - carrying a child.”
“Idk if you can carry stuff if you’re pregnant. Did you carry stuff when you were pregnant?”
And just keep going on and on. I always have a ridiculously fun time with the play dumb game. Just remember that no matter how mad they get you commit to the bit.
That is so good
Cackle 🤣 you n me both mate!!
What the actual fuck. On behalf of all moms I want to put a blanket on you, give you some hot cocoa and tell you all about how you need to live your best life, whatever that looks like to you. You can be and do whatever you want and having kids isn't for everyone. Why would a mom even say something like that?
Then watch some ghibli movies cause even I feel weird after that. I'm so disturbed and I think we need something wholesome for a bit.
Thank you lol. Yeah Ghibli movies always teleport me to a totally different world. Thanks for the words and blankets and hot chocolate :)
Gasp 😱 tell bout it, #Howl’s Moving Castle 🏰 is the best!!!
I mean is it just me, or does #Howls moving castle 🏰 encapsulate everything we are thing about when we tell our crazy mf mums, that we DON’T WANT TO HAVE KIDS, n that THIS? THIS IS OUR FUCKING LIFE!!!!!
I’m a dad, I’d light a fire if it’ll help? Need me to talk to mom? I’ll talk to her like I did my mother in law, after dealing with her lifetime of telling my wife she just wasn’t motherly… she undermined the mother child relationship with both of my wife’s children, and we’ve spent the decade together repairing those relationships for my wife.
On behalf of all moms
Real moms
Emotionally regulated and rational, has empathy moms.
o that's nasty :( sorry op that's creepy as fuck
It creeps you out because it is creepy and fucked up.
ooops, i think we have the same mom!
Same. Once I hit like 15 my mom started talking about her sexual exploits, how she had 3somes with my dad and details I will not recount here about the actual act. What is wrong with these people?!
Sooo inappropriate and WEIRD. Sorry you had to endure that.
Narcissists, it’s all about them. I am 51 and I still have nightmares from my childhood, I still cry for 7 year old me. I am so sorry you had that, I hope she never tried to recruit you. Parents that brag about exploits are often searching for a reaction that they can exploit
She was always dating creeps that would make advances. Only one took advantage of me when I was young. I got very defensive about it later and reacted very strongly so they fucked off later in life.
She ended up marrying a wonderful man who is like the only parent I ever had. I live with him today since he's dying and his kids won't care for him. But I shudder to think that never occured to me, she definitely recruited me into doing drugs, drinking, and inappropriate behavior. It never occurred to me that might also be the case but looking back it's very on brand for my family. Absolutely fucked, the lot of em.
mine and her sister would dress me up in these extreme tight outfits, getting beaten for refusing to do so. then i would have to walk in front of them, pretending to be alone and the moment i got catcalled (late at night on some promenade in Turkey, of all places) they would jump and beat me for being a slut... great succes!
That's some extremely bizarre behavior. I'm really sorry.
your dialogue with your mom is, too and i felt triggered tbh. it's like she wanted to strip you down and out of your identity and reduce to a cattle and milk producing cow, so she could be 'one ahead' on you. found that to be pretty sexually passive aggressive, too, if that's even a term. kind regards!
No I get you totally!! That totally makes sense!! Why is all fucking Christian mothers are so ruddy fucking competitive?!?? WTAF IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE???!!!
God I see so much of my own childhood here, fuck. I’m sorry. I’m male though, but same experience with being dressed up and put on display…I’m so sorry for you and my god just know you’re not alone ok
and i am so sorry and sad to hear that you can relate! :(
also i doubt that these kind of people mind(ed) wether we had vaginas or penises (don't let me start on the dogs they kept, let me put it this way), we had the bad luck of being born at the wrong place the wrong time.
To the wrong people….yeah it sucked that Satan did get arrested and got 2 years probation and that was it. The stories I had to go through to figure out that this or that wasn’t normal, or ok. How many times I get the small things wrong, I fight so hard to be better than the people that raised me that I fear the stuff I miss because it’s what I know.
'I fear the stuff I miss because it’s what I know' - gosh, you just hit such a nail!
i am listening to Kate Bush a lot lately, as of right now and at this moment, so this one is for you, understanding that the devil gets off with probation and us suckers finding it neccesary to be ethically relatable as of why he should. Kind regards!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pllRW9wETzw
edit: also i'm tipsy by now, not yet drunk, but then i get all let's sing a song together (still a great song i wanted to share with you though)
I’m trying my best to not get a bladder infection from drinking too much alcohol 🍷 lately or even wrapping my head around the fact that I’m pregnant 🤰 n currently trying to arrange an abortion .. 🥺🥺. Which, is something I know I can do? But I was confused about my first pregnancy 🤰 n what with irregular periods autism n ibs..!! Uggghh!!! Such a headache 🤕 hence why I’m finally reading all this stuff.. I’m trying my best to not fall under the allure of being an Approval addict Cinderella daughter again.., n this place online makes me feel safe to talk n vent about that..🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😢😭
holy smokes, you must be under at least A TON of stress right now, i cannot imagine!!! so sorry i did not respond earlier, but remember when i wrote "not yet drunk", well yeah, that was bound to happen and yesterday i spend my day having a pityful hangover, so i was offline... do not think it was some sort of a bitch move of approvel rejection!
Yeah that choked me up a bit when I read it.
You also get the warm blanket and hot cocoa and ghibli movies. Also big fuzzy socks. I'm so sorry. Words fail me. You didn't deserve that.
Please divulge lol. I feel so alone and weirded out, like I'm the only person in this bizarre situation.
hi! i am aware i am getting lost in this reddit jungle of where and when to post, so sorry! i wrote just an example of my mom in this thread as in response to Haaail's. reddit is a road full of mysteries, like some rhizome i still have to decipher..!!
It is creepy, it's pretty dehumanizing.
My mother is/ was like that too.
She just wanted grandchildren from me.
So, Yes. That's terrible.
Are you old enough or capable to move out in case you live with her?
Good advice hun 👍😊😊😊😊
Have you asked her to expand on what she means by what she said?
And a banana and yogurt aren't healthy? 🤷🏼♀️
Mom, why don't you eat some donuts for breakfast so I can get an early inheritance.
The underlying creepy thing here is not about the baby, but control. With unhealthy people, it’s always a mistake to engage with them sincerely. When she asked “aren’t you eating any eggs?”, that was a hook. You replied by listing off your whole morning menu, as if you shared her belief that you should answer to her. That’s what you need to work on. You don’t answer to her, but as long as you believe you do and act as if you do, she will continue to mess with you emotionally and psychologically.
If you're able to, get out of that hellhole as soon as possible. You shouldn't need to waste yet 1 more day or -- god forbid -- 5 to 10 more years with that piece of abusive junk. Your physical/mental safety is all that matters right now, and your abuser seems to be a clear threat. Why else would you be on a forum all about healing from horrific childhood trauma? I'm sorry for her gross comments, you don't deserve to be trapped in this craphole.
🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🥳🤩🥳
i wanted to go vegan when i was 14 and my mom forced my aunt to call me and convince me i would become infertile…..
Yuck, sounds like mine. Although she started young, including things like school lab assignments and swimming in unfiltered water. Basically attempting to restrict everything I enjoyed out of "concern" for my reproductive capacity.
Would it shut her up if your partner said something?
Yikes, that is creepy AF.
I'm Slavic and grew up in a cult. Very relatable. You should leave before it's too late.
It’s so creepy and infuriating. Especially when they want to get their hands on a grandchild when they couldn’t even handle not abusing their child.
My mom one day called me up and begged me to get knocked up by some random guy in grad school and give the baby to her so she could raise it while I finished school. That was a big no.
Wow. That’s insane. And again, kind of like a betrayal. Like your own mother could give a damn about you, just make a baby for her, whatever it costs you and your body.
Does she live with you or were you on the phone? There are two possible solutions to this problem lol
Was she on drugs?
Disgust is a normal response to abuse
Yeah that sounds hella weird
Holy fking shit.
Yeah. You aren’t a broodmare and you aren’t being raised to breed fine prizewinning cattle.
I am so very sorry your uterus on legs doesn’t see you as a human in your own right with your own feelings, desires, and LACK of them.
That’s so damn weird. Ask her if she’s keeping up her nutrition for when she’s put in a nursing home. Sorry but ☹️
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Is it wrong to ask questions in general on this forum ? I just wanna join in as best I can without being misunderstood coz I have autism..🥺curious kitty 🐈⬛
No I don’t think so, if it’s not in the community guidelines you’re fine.
😞phew thank youuuu🙏!!!! That really puts my mind at rest..!!! Haha 😅🥹
Reminds me of "it puts the lotion on its skin" but seriously
OMG 😳
I’m a mother of two kids, one of whom is [well, just barely] of childbearing age, and there is no way I’d dream of saying anything like this to anyone—not to a kid of mine, nor to a kid’s spouse or partner—or anyone.
You’re right. That isn’t good.
Good for you for telling her to stop it, for god’s sake.
Seriously, I don’t get it. I mean, I’m a Gen X’er, but my own [abusive in a variety of ways] mother [of older, boomer gen.] wouldn’t have said this to me.
Again, I’m sorry. Any chance she was drunk or experiencing psychosis or delirium?
That makes me feel similar to when my mom wanted to be waaay too involved in my breast reduction surgery. That’s horrifying and violating.
Rofl, get out ASAP
She's going to ruin your children if you ever decide to have them. Get her out of your life
Wow, take it easy. Women, it's evolutionary. Check out all the people running around. Lots of em, yeah? Jeepers. Even as we get older, people are sort of geared up to populate. Lots of em yeah? Not by accident. Maybe, I dunno? It's just, "mom encouraged me to eat, and voiced her interest in children. Not uncommon. Maybe your creepy. Maybe it's creeps out mom that you are creeped out so easily.
First of all chill the f out!
Start with analyzing what she is saying Put it in perspective (put yourself in her shoes and understand her upbringing and knowledge, Then make your conclusion.
My understanding of the situation is that she was trying to show care about your health and your furture possible child.
Her understanding of nutrition and yours is OBVIOUSLY very different and her understanding of sensitivity towards ways of expressing is also very different. Everybody older than gen A is with the understanding that rhe new generation gets their toes stepped on by as much as an assumption of gender based on, what was once a generally agreed upon, reasonable observations.
With the understanding of how much a mothers nutrition matters in the development of (her) future children, I can based on all these other half-a-brained comments conclude that she is probably right.
hOLY WHAT my mom is usually on me about eating bc I’m underweight but the thing about the child hit me like a ton of bricks
1 missing reply
For context, I'm married and have spoken about having kids in the past, but when my mom says stuff like that it creeps me the hell out and I feel like it's none of her fucking business.