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Easily, because someone can be lovable and worth loving regardless of whether they love themselves.
They can be - but that is conditional love. You become reliant on someone outside of you loving you.
When you love yourself, you are free from needing to be loved by somebody else.
Trying to Fulfil My Own Needs First has been a game changer for me since 2021, indeed!
I'm glad this is also your approach to things.
It really can be. I am convinced that loving yourself can be an attractive quality to others too.
Oh, 100%!
What OP said actually reminded me of an unhealthy relationship I had, not too dissimilar to OP's, where, back then the unhealthy me, would beg people to stay...
... When in reality, it's so much more healthier - and attractive, too - if I could just go, "I see that you don't even love me. That's fair. I deserve and want more, though."
Self-awareness is very, very attractive indeed!
Having a trauma history by no means makes you or anyone else unlovable whether we struggle to love ourselves or not. I’ve been happily married for nearly 20 years to a man who unconditionally loves and accepts the parts of me that I probably never will. Being in a relationship however, with someone who’s telling you he’s not in love with you could well be perpetuating this spiral of feeling rejected/unlovable. You deserve someone who can give you the full show. This guy may not be the best fit at the moment, but there’s someone out there who is. Been there, hurt like hell, but I’m so, so glad I released myself.
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OP, what is his definition of love? What's yours?
I personally, with my choice of defining love as an act that extend people's spirit, love more than just romantic partner.
I do want to extend others and my own spirit. Sometimes that involves being their partner and living together, but it's not limited to.
How can he love you if you do not love yourself?
This is not to judge or condemn in anyway, but just to highlight that how you feel about you is important too.