“Life is full of suffering” said my therapist. Which is true. But genuinely, what’s the point?!

Oh man, I relate to this SO hard, OP, and I’m sorry, it’s a very tough situation to be in.

When I feel that way, I try to pretend I’ve been dead for thousands of years but have been given the opportunity to relive a random day of my life. Even if it’s pretend, I feel gratitude and appreciation for the little things in a way I don’t normally. When you think of it as your last day on earth (and every day has the potential to be that day), you see things through a different lens.

Life is full of suffering, our purpose is to find something that makes the suffering worth tolerating. I find that I often feel the way you describe when I feel lost, powerless, or directionless in my life. Funny enough, thinking about how tiny and insignificant I am to the universe makes me feel better.

Connecting with nature also helps me remember that 99% of my problems are socially constructed and don’t actually matter. Yes, it matters a little bit, but ultimately we are made to eat, sleep, breathe, and fuck. if you’re doing more than that, congrats! you are more than fulfilling your role in nature. Nature doesn’t hand out deadlines or exclude you from plans. Nature is there for us and we should be there for it too, because we ARE nature. Remembering nothing is natural about modern life helps me remember that I’m not crazy for feeling stressed and unsatisfied with my modern life.

Unfortunately, you are the only one who can define your life’s purpose or give it meaning. No one can do that for you. It is a responsibility we all have to one another, to give this life our best effort because as far as we know it’s the only one we get.

It’s full of suffering, but it’s full of beauty and joy as well. Life is full of everything, really.

Having a life worthy of causing CPTSD is like being born in one of the cracks of this world. And inside a crack, all you can see is darkness.

To heal is to gradually climb out and expose yourself to the light more. It’s about getting your body and mind to realise that it isn’t all like that.

There is an end goal out there that genuinely is worth it.

It took me years of self work in a safe space to get better, but a pivotal point was realising that most of my suffering was caused by resisting my suffering. Somehow I always ended up back trying to change a past that could never be changed, because if I stopped resisting it would mean giving up the hope that it wasn't too late to prevent everything that was done to me, and instead having to accept it without craving to change the outcome.

It might take years, but there is a genuine peace to be found in realising the nature of ones own suffering and authentically accepting it.

I think this is why old religions and civilizations talk so much about afterlife because it gives a purpose to the suffering and hope for the future. In some religions, the belief is the more religious you are, the more you are tested i.e. your faith is tested. Basically life is a test - it was never meant to be easy for anyone, get through it and your reward is peace and no future suffering.

One some dark days, this thought process has helped.

However, when I see people living well and doing well - really thriving is when I question is it really external suffering that is the issue or how I am reacting to it is the problem? Because there are people with trauma and tough life situations that are living relatively well. What's their secret? Sometimes it's obvious things like having supportive people in their life, sense of community, financial security that makes all the difference.

…. Thank you for posting: I can feel I’m on the start of a mental downturn that happens despite my best efforts, not out of the blue, but just as you said: DUE TO RATIONAL “NOT SO HOT ON LIFE” FEELINGS when I’m faced with either dealing with or processing of all of the s%t I’ve gone through in life, the hole I’m in because of all of the s%t and being 45y and RATIONALLY not seeing how without a magic wand it’s going to get better…. & I needed your post to realize that “We” are out there- The ppl who have been damaged so hard core that just “turning that frown upside down, buddy” just isn’t going to do the trick. And if anyone could watch a POV movie of our lives they would be in just as bad a way as we are- But also living in the reality that SO many ppl won’t and can’t even slightly comprehend what we have gone through and so will never understand why we deserve statues for living this long, but will ironically get treated like freaks. I’m sorry- I just can’t handle the entire logistically conundrum of lifelong trauma and what that means to us trying to live through it. I’m sorry if this is inappropriate. I’m just having a bad… life. ❤️ Hugs and Love to all you outstanding humans out there trying to make your way through this booool-s*%t. Serious Love ❤️

OP, I agree with you a million percent that you have a completely normal response to an awful situation.

Life is much harder for some people, like those of us with CPTSD, that don’t have emotional or financial support or a safe place to live.

People often ignore the very real systemic societal problems like poverty, discrimination, lack of a living wage and affordable housing etc. that cause or exacerbate anxiety, depression etc. See r/psychotherapyleftists.

Therapists, especially the privileged ones that only want to do CBT, are especially guilty of such willful ignorance.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a simple answer to your valid question.

All I can tell you is that as a middle-aged woman I want to have as much fun as possible until I check out.

However, the reality is that having fun, or even not suffering, often comes down to having financial stability and friends.

Figure out how to become financially stable so you have a good place to live, and can afford healthcare, fun stuff etc.

Reddit can be a gold mine of information about how to earn more etc. Do a deep dive on different subs and ask people for advice regarding your situation.

Taking action on the financial piece whether it be getting a job, going back to school, starting your own business etc. will bring you into contact with different people. Having more resources to do fun things you enjoy also helps you make friends.

One last piece of advice is to be weary of CBT helping with trauma. It made me feel worse. It was all about invalidating my very real problems and trauma and trying to get me to gaslight myself so I would shut up and be a good worker bee.

I would suggest checking out r/internalfamilysystems (IFS), which you can do on your own or with a therapist. I started doing it on my own and it has helped more than anything else. My very basic version of it is to say how I’m feeling out loud. There is something more healing about saying it out loud than just writing it in my journal. I welcome all my feelings and don’t censor myself. In short, I validate myself. I don’t desert or shame myself. Life changing for me.

I have also found these subreddits helpful: r/attachment_theory, r/idealparentfigures, and r/somaticexperiencing

I hope this helps.

Well, that was a useful platitude! How many years of education did it take them to craft that useful observation?

Life is full of joy. Life is full of boredom. Life is full of sunshine. Pick a word.

What needs to be addressed is how you, personally have been negatively impacted by your experiences. And guidance on how you can deal with that to bring balance to your life and move forward in a positive way.

I don't think the goal is to manage reactions.

The goal is to find inner safety to be able to feel joy in a reality where yes it meets pain sometimes and we have to feel it.

But life isn't supposed to be painful even though there is pain.

Life is suppose to a play between painful and joyful moments.

I’m 42 and have never been to therapy. I don’t really see the point in it myself. Ideally I want to be made whole but I know that won’t happen.

I have accepted that the past is the past but I still hurt and feel completely empty inside.

I am a workaholic which is by choice as it allows me to feel valued. It also allows me to be financially independent from my parents since they were the ones that broke me.

I can’t tell you the number of ways I have tried to make myself feel alive. Not sure I will ever accomplish such a task.

I hope you can find your way in this life. I really want one of us to make it and feel that happiness we all so long for.

Just know that you are not alone in this feeling.

I guess what motivates me is if I stay, maybe there’s a chance I’ll get to experience the goodness of life too. That and I have some friends I know would be devastated if I left. I don’t always feel loved even though I know I am so on the days I don’t feel loved I tell myself not to trust the voices in my head

Death will come eventually, that’s guaranteed. Might as well make the most out of whatever this life thing is and pursue as much pleasure as you can.

See a bunch of stuff, try all kinds of food, go skydiving, get super buff, have a ton of sex, learn all of the languages, make a bunch of friends, collect a bunch of stories to tell, pet all the dogs, spend hours laying in the sun, swim in a frozen river. Do a bunch of obscure and off the beaten path stuff. Just try things.

Just kick the tires on this life thing, do all the things and feel all of the feelings. Don’t be held back by fear and other peoples opinions, because death will come and it’s forever.

Everything else is insignificant. May as well play around with it until the reaper inevitably calls.

I struggle with the same. My therapist is excellent, and she sits with me as I try to unravel my nihilism and trauma. But I still feel like it isn't enough. I suffer way too much to be here. What's the point? I'm very happy for people who were able to get the security and safety they needed in childhood to be able to grow into adults who can healthily navigate life's ups and downs. For me it feels like I'm trapped in a spiral of pain, depression, despair, shame, and feeling as if I'm falling with nothing to grip to. I don't have a safe base. I don't have a home. I think those things are developmentally essential for children to be able to grow into healthy adults. It didn't happen for me. So WHY do I have to be here? I suffer so much. It's unbearable.

The point: wtf you want it to be.

I’m thinking of making mine “petting cats and/or getting financially stable enough to own a cat.”

Early last summer, I went to a park and read a book in the shade. I also saw a turtle sleeping, its nose just above the water, right off the side of a bridge.

Those moments of being content, I think, is a big part of why I'm still here.

I think this can be a way of feeling less isolated and more compassionate towards yourself and others, but personally I’d consider it a more ‘advanced’ concept to explore.

You need to feel and express most of your trauma first, otherwise it’s clouded with resentment.

I think many people adopt some sort of divine reasoning or religion to try to answer this and most religions give concrete answers to their question too. I personally prefer absurdism philosophy and try to accept the pure absurdity of life and being here. Ultimately we’re all getting the same prize of eventually dying at the end and I personally don’t think it matter what philosophy you use to get there as long as you’re not actively hurting others around you

I struggle with this a lot, and for me, there's only one answer. there's no "point" to life. never was. we all suffer horribly and then we die and are gone forever. I'm lucky though, I fell in love and have a wife. whenever I have suicidal thoughts, I think about her. I don't kill myself, not just for her sake, but for my own. because getting to enjoy being with her is genuinely worth how terrible life can otherwise be. the only thing that we have, the only thing of any real value, is other people, is love. yes we suffer, but without being born, we also wouldn't be able to experience the amazing things that we are lucky to. someday I'll die, and the suffering will end. but until then, I'm gonna soak up my loved ones every chance I get.

Happiness does find you eventually. I’ve been through years of hell and I can say that… it took most of my life but slowly things get better one by one. Not perfect, but better.

My old therapist told me, when I asked “if I wanna end it all, why won’t you all just let me???” And she replied, “you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, so we need to see it for you until you can”

There isn’t a point. We have make do with this body that was dropped onto this earth during this particular moment in time. One of the things that helped me, ironically, was realizing my own insignificance in the universe. We as a species are so fleeting and petty; all the bullshit we’re born into and the tragedy of our existence - it’s not even a blink on some alien’s telescope thousands of years from now.

So enjoy the small things. A pretty leaf. A nice cup of coffee. A quiet moment in the shower. Those small insignificant moments can be the most meaningful ones we can have. I don’t want to let toxic dumpster fires ruin this tiny blip of a life that I have. If this is all I have, I want to at least enjoy some of it.

How are people ok? I can’t unsee life.

this is literally my existential question. when i read about people in hopeless situations i'm always like god i would never survive that level of despair. but idk, this is part of the human condition that is deep inside of all of us, somewhere. my therapist reminds me about this all the time

I hope your therapist explained it a little better than that. The suffering you experience when you have a lot of intense CPTSD symptoms, and are dealing with life’s current struggles on top of that, that is a suffering that will not last forever.

You’re allowed to not find joy and meaning in your days right now. You’re actively working towards not having to feel this way anymore, that’s all that matters. But you do have to start believing and hoping that there’s another side. I promise you we’re not just saying it gets better. We’ve been where you are.

I don’t know how long you’ve been healing, but it took me a long time to see results, and look back and feel that it was all for a reason. All you need until then is hope, and to believe in yourself.

In my experience, once you heal, and have a lot of tools, when your brain is calmer, even if life throws more awful things at you, it will never ever be as bad as it was. Healing is not some myth, processing trauma changes you, and the whole world looks different after.

This is why I smoke 💀

Have you read Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning?” It is a quick read, but it speaks to your question of “if life is full of suffering, why try?”. I think you might like his story and insight.

Your pain matters. I am sorry that you have experienced so much and are hurting right now.

Recovery from childhood abuse takes years of therapy. We have adapted and survived by manipulating our own emotional reactions and behaviors. It can take a long time to find a good therapist, and more time to develop trust with your therapist, and then after 2-3 years, you’ll finally be ready to work on correcting the backwards emotional wiring in your brain.

I know all this sucks. I know it is not your fault.

Peace to you my friend.

Stopped going to therapy when i realized they were just following a script, for the $$$$, no devotion to helping, no vocation to humanity, just $$$$$$$$$$$$$

The joy of doing nothing

r/antinatalism my friend. Let’s not pass it on.

It’s either going to shift to a suicide epidemic or bloody revolution. We’re seeing a lot of stuff collapsing it’s only a matter of time until it reaches the West. It will take the food supply being disrupted. I’m meeting a lot more people who feel my way, people are angry, but they’re not angry enough to enact change.

You can only control your reactions to what happens around you.

Easy to say, hard to do. Especially when you carry trauma

Think about today. Be your best in the moment - is what I try to do.

“This to shall pass” kinda helps

For me, this is why Buddhism, specifically Zen, even more specifically: modern Rinzai Zen has a special place in my heart. It talks about lot about suffering and how to escape suffering, and it attempts this without a lot of religious trappings.

You might like existential psychology.

There is no point. When I finally realized that there is no meaning to life, I felt great relief. It freed me from feeling trapped by expectations. Trying to assign meaning where there is none is a fool’s errand.

Have you read “How To Wake Up” by Toni Bernhard?

The way she describes and contextualizes suffering helped me a lot.

I can tell you my experience. After many years, my suffering has lessened a little bit, then a little more. Things start to look different, feel different. I started to feel enjoyment in life.

Hope yours will

I'm always surprised when a therapist says things like this because mine were always detached from reality.

When it comes to what the point is... does anyone have that answer? I, for one, do not believe there is a point. Almost like it's a cosmic joke being played on us. It's not worth it to me, either.

I honestly keep going out of spite and competitiveness. I engrave every single piece of joy I can wring out of my suffering into my mind, purely out of spite. I will find some way to enjoy my life, no matter how miserable, because fuck you (general you, not you OP specifically). It makes me so angry that people think that I must be miserable just because life sucks. I'm no one's object of pity, or object lesson. I will win the battle of wills from anyone trying to crush my spirit and dance on their graves.

You don't have to process your trauma, or try to feel good about the state of your society. It's been helpful for me, but everyone should have control over their own journey (so long as they're allowing others the freedom to do the same). I hope you do find a reason to hold onto all the little and big joys in your life, to counter the suffering. But I understand if you can't.

Life is heavy and exhausting, and rest is rare. The only problem is that you can't pick it up again if you put it down. I wish you strength and energy, and a soft place to rest whenever you need to.

Despite the tragedy of life, there is inherent meaning in consciously taking up your suffering, bearing it and trying to be a better person to at least make sure YOU do not create more unnecessary suffering with your presence in the world.

That doesn’t help if you don’t agree but I might point out but if you don’t agree then you lose a huge motivator/meaning engine for the vast majority of people in the world.

Then don't. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to process it, maybe it's not suitable to do so right now or maybe ever. Have you considered that not processing it, may be a way for you to overcome your challenges? In my experience, there have been times where I have had to stop therapy because it was making my mood worse because I was constantly ruminating on the "suffering" and reopening experiences that were not very nice. Maybe continuing to move past it is what you need at the moment. A lot of personal stories of resilience often look like this. I'm not in your shoes so please take with a grain of salt. But, suicide isn't the answer.

DBT is life changing. Every counselor I have had prior to this one is basically trash because I never learned a thing. Dialectal behavioral therapy helps you retrain your mind. And frankly, a lot of people aren’t emotionally capable of processing trauma without first doing DBT.

Pf course there is hopelessness un there. You hax bo one to celebrate you. Did you get any celebrations as a child. I rarely if ever got new clothes .. So life I'd full of suffering true. Life is also full of learning new skills. Life is full of moments of joy. Life is full of anticipation. All those things were stolen from you as a child. You deserve them.

If your suffering serves a higher goal, it’s more bearable.

Hi OP! My take is that life is the proverbial hand of cards that we are given. It’s up to us whether we play those cards, and it’s up to us how we interpret them.

Assigning meaning to the shit we have been dealt is (again, in my opinion) an active process. Sitting back and waiting for meaning feels to me like waiting for a bus in the middle of a soccer field.

I find that I find meaning when I am actively trying new things.

As one example, when I tried rock climbing, I had this amazing moment where it occurred to me that making it to the top of a wall made me feel amazing and powerful — and that my success and good feelings were defined by the challenge that I had just faced. I couldn’t have the success without the struggle. It really helped me to reframe other challenges in my life.

I believe that you don’t have to find meaning in suffering. You don’t have to go looking for meaning in suffering. But I believe that in order to feel good, you have to be open to finding meaning in something in order to help face down the reality that suffering exists.

Well yeah. But even though what you wrote is true, it is not the only thing to pay attention to in life. Trauma and financial shit is rough. But if you let go of the financial shit a bit and the societal expectations put on us, and just look at a fucking sunrise or sunset or that fish in the water or that hummingbird…i mean life is pretty interesting, colorful, and even humorous.

We are only here temporarily anyway, no matter how you slice it. Might as well find some happiness. Smoke a joint and listen to some blues or rock. Go to an art museum or gallery and look at the paintings.

If you want to go for broke, go to Indonesia or some place where you can live fine on a small income. Eat street food. Learn a song in the native language, go hang out on their beach, go to the open air markets.

Like, why not. I feel like you are getting bogged down by expectations of success and financial shit, but that is a relative thing and not actually a required thing nor a constant through various societies.

Air is good, water is good, rain, sun, a lot of art galleries, all this shit is free. People that appreciate those things are good people and won’t require you to be some kind of money guy. In the Philippines, you probably are a money guy to them, right now. It’s all relative and a lot of it is bullshit.

Make some choices and forget what you have been taught by society or family about being “successful”. Forget the pressure, most people who look successful are in debt up to their eyeballs and/or miserable. They aren’t actually successful, they are play-acting and hoping you’ll buy it.

Find a simpler life, that doesn’t mean it is less important. You just got here by a million things happening, so be like “Fuck! I won the jackpot! I am here on this beautiful planet with all these beautiful things and people and animals and the fucking oceans, it won’t last forever, so imma see what I can groove on until it ends.” It will end eventually anyway, might as well decide to enjoy your ride. Your already limited time here.

i love this quote by helen keller. “life is full of suffering. but it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

This is a lesson straight from DBT. Here’s a quote from Marsha Linehan’s DBT workbook—“The ability to tolerate and accept distress is important for two reasons. First pain and distress are part of life; they cannot be entirely avoided or removed. The inability to accept this immutable fact increases pain and suffering. Second, distress tolerance at least over the short run, is part of any attempt to change yourself. Otherwise, efforts to escape pain and distress will interfere with your efforts to establish desired change”

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You’re not wrong for how you feel. Life is full of suffering and it can be too much at times. For me, the meaning and the justification for living life has come from those moments when I can see myself improving and having a overcome some challenge. And sometimes I fail, and sometimes that win doesn’t offer what I was expecting. I think, the meaning comes in the search for it and from those things that we find meaningful.

You’re going to therapy, you’re trying and you’re seeking that meaning right now. Doesn’t that show you that maybe there is something that is worth fighting for?

statements like that are trying to shift our perspective to be more grounded? that might not be the right word. essentially accepting/understanding that sometimes things aren’t in our control and that’s okay, but..

this isn’t always effective for people with CPTSD or PTSD. the book “The Body Keeps the Score” highlights this perfectly, and i suggest anyone who’s interested in approaches to managing CPTSD/PTSD read that, though fair trigger warning as it goes over a lot of traumatic stuff.

i listened to an audiobook of it and even if it was triggering at times it made me feel heard because i too get into those thought loops of “i’ll never get better because all the help i get just doesn’t work” or “what’s the point of trying if i’m always gonna suffer”

the problem is lack of understanding on how to treat CPTSD. if i remember correctly, reliving those experiences through talk therapy or “facing them head on” doesn’t always help. regardless, i often remind myself that things will get better, and new treatments are always being developed.

sometimes we just have to do some mental gymnastics to convince ourselves to keep going. personally, i don’t think it’s wrong that you don’t want to face these things head on, or talk about them. i also don’t think life is suffering. i think it can suck at times, but it can also be great. so just do what makes you happy. the nihilistic approach isn’t always good.

Wind makes strong trees, as they say.

Buddha starts from this place, so that's where my mind goes, lol. Maybe learning about it a bit about it would be helpful? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-009-the-buddha/id659155419?i=1000171265948

Oh man, honestly I ask myself this every single day. Having gone through so much shit in life myself, sometimes at the end of the day when I'm laying on the bed I'll ask myself what the hell I did to be handed a shit sandwich. Usually when this happens I start spiraling and a bunch of what if questions pop up. Then I start to think of all of the things other people have said to me while I was feeling suicidal. It's always the, "Think about the people you're leaving behind. There are people who care about you, etc." but it sounds like bs because usually it's the people that you love the most that does the most hurting.

I've had to cut people out of my life and it was a hard thing to do especially because of the lonely feeling after, but after being by myself and having the independence to just sit and do nothing for a while I was able to slowly get up and do things for me. Choosing to be selfish just like everyone else and doing things that I want and eventually things got better and I have my own life now, but I do still ask myself the question every night before bed.

Life sure as hell isn't perfect but it moves on whether I want it to or not. You have to be the one to get up and choose to be selfish for you and when the time comes for you and you're ready to process things in a healthy way, you've made that step towards your recovery. It's okay if it takes time because it's different for everyone. Not one size fits all.

Read Autobiography of a Yogi to understand the point of life. Do the SRF (Self-Realization Fellowship) home study lessons to see how to achieve ultimate success and life. And do Raja Yoga meditation techniques twice daily as taught by SRF to actually win the game of life

That sounds incredibly dismissive. Is your therapist trained for cptsd?

For me it's the fact that things can get a lot worse. I have DP/DR, and life without it, with all its suffering, seems like fucking paradise to me. I know it won't be, but there will always be that underlying feeling that I'll still have a lot, because I will . I think anyone who has met someone that doesn't struggle with mental illness will have seen how pleasant life can be, even if we may never quite reach that point.

Sorry to hear you're considered crazy for not wanting to process that trauma. My experience is quite the opposite - my society looks down on people processing their trauma, and the norm is for people not wanting to process it.

There doesn't need to be 'a point'. It helps me to use 'presently' (an unobtrusive app where you record gratitude daily, tho often am most grateful for myself) and take one day at a time. Sticking around because I can, enjoying hot chocolate and exercise, healthy eating ( mostly) read, watch tv, listen to radio, studying a course, being a good person when possible,we'll all be gone soon so may as well try to aim for the best for yourself meantime.

What are the little things that give you the moments of calm and maybe even joy? For me, it's listening to the birds, birdwatching, cuddling with the neighbour's cat, trees, waking up early to see the sunrise, looking at the endlessness of the sea, having a good laugh with friends, helping others, being there for someone who's in pain... The list goes on. True, when things are incredibly tough, I forget about it all. In this case, another thing I end up thinking is - there's only one me in the world, and I'm certainly not the worst human out there, I try to give love. I know the world without me in it is going to be an even worse place. Also, life is terminal by default, it'll end. So when I get suicidal, I think - hey, I can always do it later, perhaps a year later.

It's always worth reminding yourself in moments of despair that this intense pain is only temporary, it will probably go away next week, tomorrow, or maybe even in a couple of hours. It helps to switch activities and try to get out of this spiral of doom, even if you don't feel like doing it. I'm learning to force myself to get out of this mindset because it feels like this monster just feeds itself. The more I think about why life isn't worth living, the more I realise that yeah, it actually isn't worth it. Learning to think of the things that are worth living for isn't easy, but it's doable. I hope you can do it too.

I guess with the kind of trauma we have, it's actually a lot of hard work to teach yourself to keep going, despite pain, and learn to find moments of peace. Just don't give up, there's only one you in this world, and it's good that you're here.

You can either let that be your motto or your motivation homie. You don’t have to have a life full of suffering. I am disabled AF and I don’t live my life in that mindset.

Then don’t. Most of the generations before you didn’t, and arguably very few of the second and third world countries bother with it either.

Additionally, I’ve read some interesting articles and papers that talk about how psychology & therapy discounts a lot of cultural nuance. Essentially whitewashing all other aspects instead of thinking and asking about ethnic and cultural identities. I don’t know how valid that is because I’m not a minority. But I think about it along the same lines as women’s healthcare being designed by a majority of men over the decades and centuries.

Besides all that, the point of therapy is to learn to trust yourself. If you’re done, trust yourself and go live the life you want.

I have been homeless. I am an addict in recovery. Have CPTSD, ADHD, major depressive disorder. Had a horrible childhood. Went to prison from 19 to 25. Have done DBT. Am currently in therapy doing IFS. I am a member of a 12 step fellowship and currently live in a sober living house. I don’t know the meaning to your life, nor will anyone else. I do know that when I get out of my own way/head and help or connect with others I feel better about myself and the world I live in. There will always be sadness, disparity, and loss. I make my world better from a close circle. Making real and authentic relationships. Listening to someone who needs to feel heard. Helping when I can. In short I make my world a better place and believe that in turn makes the world as a whole a better place. If I look for shit I will always find it. Glass half empty or half full. Our choice.

I feel the same. I'm alive just because of my survival istinct.

i get what you’re saying and i’m often in the same place. life sucks. the world sucks. i feel like nobody in this world is really “healthy”. yet at the same time…there’s so much beauty. sunsets and sunrises. how happy your dog is when you get home. laughing until you cry with friends. when you get a perfect bite of a sandwich. when the weathers just right. you’re right, life is full of suffering and it always will be to some degree - but so much beauty exists with it, you just have to look in the right places, even if they’re just little things.

We suffer over suffering because suffering is highly disproportionated between us. It's disproportionated amongst us within our relationships but also collectively planetarywise. Suffering can create depth understanding and gratitude but we have a society that doesn't allow it, the society is created by and through the same people that refuses suffering of any kind. Don't get discouraged value to life is not attached only to this one, there is more.

same. thank you

Your therapist means suffering is rooted in desire; you dream, wish, hope, long, drive ... but after you achieve that goal, then what? You'll find something else to dream for, wish for, ... it will never end unless you learn to be present, appreciating the here and now. Are you on fire? Taking your dying breath? In a free fall having jumped off a building? No? Then you are OK, right now, in this present moment, as you read this post. That is the answer in a nutshell: the more present you can be, the less you will suffer. That doesn't mean have no goals but to appreciate the journey towards them. (Wait, what?! I re-read that and it's clearest explanation I wish I were able to read when I was in your head space!!)

Then don't. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to process it, maybe it's not suitable to do so right now or maybe ever. Have you considered that not processing it, may be a way for you to overcome your challenges? In my experience, there have been times where I have had to stop therapy because it was making my mood worse because I was constantly ruminating on the "suffering" and reopening experiences that were not very nice. Maybe continuing to move past it is what you need at the moment. A lot of personal stories of resilience often look like this. I'm not in your shoes so please take with a grain of salt. But, suicide isn't the answer.

I don't know how to answer this in a way that won't sound, like, trite or insincere, but I promise you that is not my intent. I understand what you're saying, and its a perfectly natural way to feel, and I'm really genuinely sorry you've been made to feel it.

The only thing I can say, as someone whose been through a lot of shit (duh, I'm posting in a cptsd sub) but whose actually pretty happy with my life nowadays, is that you don't have to 'learn lessons' or find meaning or beauty in your trauma. Sometimes things are just shit. But that doesn't mean all things are going to be shit, forever.

I don't know what I can say to make you believe that. I don't know for sure how I believe that, a lot of the time, except through a kind of very stubborn forced optimism. But I promise you it is possible. The world is full of suffering, and that's both a cliche and a bummer, but its also full of, idk, dogs and sunsets and books and coffee and shit. Rollerblading. Who the fuck knows. Substitute whatever you need for that.

I just tell myself, like, the world is full of awful shit and I may never be able to "fix" either it or myself but I believe its worth it anyway. I have to. I know that doesn't work for everyone and it feels corny as hell to say out loud. But honestly I'm just trying to have a good time with whatever I've got left even if I have to do it out of spite.

With regard to the, like, financial shit and threat of homelessness, idk. I don't have much to say other than that I've been there and it fuckin sucks. Trying to process trauma while also experiencing poverty is exhausting and I'm sorry.

I'm struggling with some version of this. It's so hard to exist. What's the point? Why can't I cease to exist without the pain to my children?

I see you ❤️‍🩹

SI or deathsong (I cannot remember who came up with this term), is a very humane and normal response to living under oppressive conditions and in societies wrecked by generational trauma.

It has been pathologised by western paradigm of mental health. The opposite of SI is viewed as the desire to live and work in a hyper individualistic society. To be an alive and 'productive' body.

Dedicate your life to helping others or the planet. You're here, no sense in not being a thorn in an awful person's side or a protector of innocent ones.

Consider a non profit and joining protests.

If people are your thing I know people willing to work in harm reduction are highly valuable. Same with dv and homeless shelters.

If academics are your thing go choose one thing and make that your lives obsession. Get a PhD. Teach others about that thing.

If outdoors and adrenaline is your thing, consider wildland firefighting. It's hard work but it's possibly one of the most important jobs for people and the planet.