I've always had this terrible anxiety when I see someone else futher ahead in life and doing stuff that I'm not. I know that I've been dealt a shit set of cards, but I can't help but feel incredibly anxious about it. Always comparing myself to other people and never being content with what I've achieved. I know that I should focus on my mental health, but when my body decides that it's time for a big anxiety attack, I feel like a regress and that I'm not pushing forwards. Intrusive memories or thoughts keep making me freeze. I hate it and don't know what to do about it.
You are not alone. I compare myself to others a lot, and when I do that, my mental health suffers. Anxiety, depression, etc.
Start comparing yourself to yourself. Notice the things that you do from day to day, and the little ways in which you improved day after day. Write them down!
If for a day or a month things regress, try hard not to dwell on it. Start fresh.
I've got a blog about my CPTSD that I've been working on for months, and for the past 2 months, I've let it languish. For a couple of months before that, I also let it languish. I feel guilty about it, but I have also had to realize that there is nothing to feel guilty about. I have not had the mental space to blog, lately. But I've started a new daily routine for myself, and hopefully, over time, it will pay off.
I decided to start fresh with my new daily routine, and I told my partner about it. I told them I need a routine so that I can get things done and so that things don't slip through the cracks. Now, I just need to train them and myself that my routine is sacrosanct.
It's going to be hard for the next month and a half, since we have some non-routine things coming up, but I'm going to still continue to plow ahead.
When I have an anxiety attack, I stop everything I'm doing and just concentrate on breathing.
When I freeze, I break things down into the tiniest steps. If I can manage to take just the tiniest first step, I give myself permission to take a break or to stop.
When I had a ton of work to do that I just dreaded and that was really turning the juice up on my anxiety, I worked for 10-20 minutes, then I took a break for 1-2 hours to calm my anxiety. I kept doing this until all the work was done. It took longer than it needed to, but it got done.
I know it's much easier said than done, but try not to worry about other people and what they're doing. They may well look at you and wonder why they don't have it as together as you do in some area. You can't possibly know what's inside of everyone else. They may have their own challenges, too.
There will always be steps back, but as hard as it is to remember when you're in the midst of a regression, this too shall pass, and you'll kick its ass.
But I feel ya. The yo-yo SUCKS.