I keep finding myself giddily saying "I'm a real person!"

CPTSD Victory

This is a bit of a silly post. I posted recently about how I just got a job, my first job since long before I started healing. And for context: I really wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to work again.

I got my first paycheck today. Tomorrow I'm gonna open a bank account. And I even got commended by my boss for my work!

I'm a real person. I mean I felt it before I got a job, but something about going to work, being a real "productive member of society" really pounded it home.

I hope every one of us eventually knows what this feels like. It's beautiful.

I'm a real person 😁

in CPTSDby ElishaAlisonU R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

218

98%

3mo

Kindly-Parfait2483

3mo

Hooray!!!! 🥳🤩 it's so great to feel that! I've recently started a new job too after a long break and not knowing if I'd be able to work again. I kept thinking, I'm alive! I'm REALLY alive!!

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Yes! Just like that! I love this feeling like I do ally have just a bit of confidence that I can do things!

Congratulations on your new job! 🥰

Longjumping_Cry709

3mo

Congratulations! 🎉That’s really awesome! I can imagine how amazing that must feel to sense that you are a real person who truly belongs and is an important part of this world.

I have started to have just an inkling of this feeling of being real. I may still have a ways to go but I really hope I get to that place of authenticity and joy.

Hope you find your new job fulfilling.🪷

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you! 🥰🥰🥰

Longjumping_Cry709

3mo

You’re welcome!⭐️

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

I just saw your updated reply 🥰

It's such a good (and weird) feeling, isn't it? I think part of what makes it so hard to get to this point is a lot of us were never given the space to fully discover who we are. But it's never too late ❤️

Longjumping_Cry709

3mo

Well, I’m 52 and it sometimes feels like a race against the clock. Will I be healed enough before I get too old to even enjoy it?

crunchycakes123

3mo

YESSS I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to also be a functional member of society which should be soon as I am currently job searching. Haven't worked in a long fuckin' minute and it really makes me feel so...inadequate. 😮‍💨😮‍💨

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw I feel you there. I hope you find a job soon, and one that suits you perfectly ❤️❤️❤️

acfox13

3mo

Hooray!!! 🎉🎉🎉 That's awesome! Congratulations!

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aww thank you!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Reaper_of_Souls

3mo

I actually get this. On paper, I basically don't exist. I was expected to hide out from the world because there was no place for me in it. Like, actively was encouraged to exaggerate my illnesses so I could collect disability (there would be guaranteed income that my parents could then claim was owed to them) and discouraged from even APPLYING for a job... so yeah now you know what I'm working with here.

You certainly exist on this sub, and your presence is noticed in a way most others isn't. But like... this isn't the only place you're meant to exist. I wouldn't want anyone to. Even if they're not the type to enjoy interacting with people. So you get to do all the stuff you could do before, and your interactions don't revolve entirely around trauma (even if it's mostly to be an uplifting voice. You deserve something that gives more peace of mind than that.

Unless of course your job is trauma related in which you're probably a pro.

So what are you doing at this place? Is it like what you were doing before or something different? And do you actually like the job part of the job? So many questions lol... I'm so happy to hear this!

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you 🥰

It's actually really cool, it's an Escape Room place. And it's right across the street from where I live, which is awesome since I don't drive yet. It's such a fun and relaxed atmosphere, and it's really neurodivergent friendly. Like they have fidget toys at the stations 😅

I hope you find your place in the world. Not even necessarily when it comes to working, just feeling like you deserve to be here just in the merits of being you. Because, and I promise I understand how hard this is to believe, you do belong here. You're enough ❤️

Reaper_of_Souls

3mo

Holy shit I just looked up what an escape room was cause I'd never heard the term before... that's actually a thing? And you get to WORK THERE? Holy shit that is SO cool! I can't wait to hear more about your workdays...

They have several of them in my city too. Sounds like something I might want to try out...

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

You should! It's pretty amazing 🥰

I absolutely love it. The people are great and the customers are so much fun.

It's actually solidified something I've realized a long time ago. The rooms really require cooperation, like it's essential. And most of these groups work together and really care about each other.

I know it's not a scientific thing or anything. But I used to believe like most people were abusive and most relationships were toxic. And seeing this, I don't think that's the case.

scrt_82

3mo

Congratulations!

You deserve to be proud of yourself.

We all want fulfillment and meaning in our lives, and it sounds like having a job brings you that.

You rock!

TashaT50

3mo

Congrats

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you!! 🥰🥰🥰

ready_gi

3mo

Congrats, im so proud of you!!! honestly going back to work after healing cptsd can be terrifing, so im glad it's been good for you.

i can imagine how much effort you've put into healing and moving forward and its inspiring to see that it paid off.

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you 🥰🥰🥰

I hope for this level of healing for all of us. We deserve it ❤️

zimneyesolntse

3mo

Awww!!! We’re so incredibly pumped for you!! You ARE a real person, and you’re a very amazing wonderful person at that!!

Congrats on the new job and congrats on feeling like this! We’re all rooting for you! 🥳✨

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you! 🥰🥰🥰

epicescence

2mo

That is great, I've found myself believing and thinking the same more often, and that's even though I'm having a horrible time at the moment.

Congratulations on your progress!

AutoModerator

3mo

Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local emergency services, or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PC4uNme

3mo

Yay! Good job on getting through so much suffering. I hope you continue to flourish!

ElishaAlison

U R so much more thatn ur trauma ❤️

3mo

Aw thank you! It's definitely been quite a journey, im so thankful to be on the other side 🥰