I am not The OOP, OOP is u/oasisco4
WIBTA if I named my baby the name I want to despite everyone hating it?
Originally posted to r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
TRIGGER WARNING:
Original Post Apr 30, 2024
I am expecting my first child in july and am very excited! Me and my fiancé had both a girl and boy name we were very happy with and loved UNTIL We found we were having a baby boy.
After everyone found out we were having a boy they were insisting on knowing what name we had picked out we decided to let close relatives that were asking constantly the name we had chosen and were met with extreme criticism saying our child will be bullied and even my father going as far as saying he would refuse to call the baby by the name we chose and instead call him and "it" and just call him another name he had chosen and my mother taking it into her own hands to find names that she said she would find "acceptable".
It had gotten to the point were i even felt guilty for picking the name and was looking at other more traditional names to keep them happy I enjoy the other names we have chosen but to me thet are just backups and i loved the original name we had chosen much better i still want to name our boy the name we intended but the fall out of doing so seems like so much hassle and will just cause so much unnecessary drama and problems.
My parents heard my back up names and have been referring to him as such since then but it just feels wrong since me and my fiancé loved the name so much. My fiancé disagreed with me and said he still intends on naming him the original name we had planned out i really want to but am honestly scared about the fall out.
So WIBTA if i named my baby the name we originally intended even if my family thinks otherwise?
EDIT: to those wondering the original name we chose was Silas.
EDIT 2: There has been an update posted.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
FififromMtl
Silas is a great name. What names are they suggesting? I’m a name snog and hate made up yewnique names. Silas is old but not dusty . It’s a name that works for life. Tell your parents they can call your child names and bully them and not see them or they can be adults and have time with their grandson.
OOP
They REALLLLY want me to name him Alexander, but i have seen the list she made for me that had Ryleigh, Riot, and Quinn.
Update May 1, 2024
Thank you everyone for the kind words and support did not expect my other post to get so much traction but its welcomed still!!
Now to the update i left out some key details in my last post including that my fiancé and I are currently living with my parents to benefit both of us because of rent prices near us and taxes my parents wanted us to stay with them and contribute so that both parties can live more comfortably
Currently i pay for 90% of the groceries and also pay for things here and there that they need aswell as a small portion of rent and gas if they need it. I also contribute to the household and make dinner every night and clean some of the time currently my fiancé has actually picked up the slack and does most chores in the house that pertains to us and even go behind them most times and clean up their messes as well.
So unfortunately the name came up again today and i had to break the news that i would be naming my son Silas i got enough of a backbone to do so and just nicely told my mother that while I like the other names I loved Silas and that i will be going with that name.
I thought it would be easier to tell them now than instead of telling them while they are at the hospital because they would probably get themselves thrown out or would take it even worst than if i were to tell them now than keep it from them.
And well it did not go well to say the least she said it was a stupid name and ugly and that she would not be calling him that and will call him by his middle name instead i told her if she wanted she could call him Si and she said she would flat out not call him that, I should know that when my whole family hates the name i should know better and thats its horrible and would be causing problems. I told her im not going to argue with her and if we were to bring this up again i would just leave and go to my own space. She told me i better leave right now because she was so angry.
Now an hour later i got a phone call from my father at work asking me why im picking at my mother even though i wasn't.
I told him the same thing i told my mother and what he said genuinely shocked me and made me concerned for our current situation.
He told me the name was stupid and if im willing to start this fire than i should be ready for the consequences of my actions, that the name i chose was a SLAVE name aswell as saying hes done his research on the name.
He even went as far as saying this was a choice influenced by my fiance threatening to kick him out and saying "he will end up homeless over this" so now unfortunately we are looking for rentals near us as this is honestly ridiculous and getting out of control.
Any advice is very much welcomed as we are wondering if this is even fixable and for the people that live in Canada any advice on rentals is very much appreciated aswell.
ADDED INFO FROM OOP
If it makes you feel any better, i didn't take what u said offensively the homeless thing really has me worried i cant afford cost of living where I am atm by myself its 1400-1900 a month without utilities and i atm im being drained financially because im not just paying groceries for 4 people but 5 and that's without including a baby soon
I only get paid around 700 a month and that all goes to meal planning for the 5 people that live here and with the very little i have left i pay for gas in order to get to my prenatal appointments and for ultrasounds so i wouldn't have enough for a first times rent or a damaged deposit
my in-laws dont like me either thats why my Fiancé is living with me because of a previous fight with them so i cant go there and i dont really have friends who dont live with their parents either because like i said cost of living is so high its just kinda the norm to live with ur parents.
It wasnt just me struggling financially but my parents aswell they would be late on bills or have utilities shut off we came to the conclusion that if i stay and pay for some essentials it would make it easier on both of us but they are still using them paying the majority of bills on me amd still using the threat of kicking me or my Fiancé out in any fight even if its a fight about simple things like chores.
To answer some questions this is the absolute healthiest realtionship I've ever been in previously I've had my fair share of bad realtionships i have moved out before when i was much younger because my ex had told me i was doing too much and being emotionally manipulated by my family along with some diffrent alligations but he was 20 and i was 16 at the time and ended up in am even worst situation with him just straight uo abusing me but my current Fiancé is nothing like my father or my ex which is i think why they dislike him so much im in my 20s amd so is he.My parents had me at the same age i am right now. Unfortunately they constantly throw my past mistakes in my face just recently today i was threatened to be kicked out over called my father "bro" we have been looking at rentals since my updated but it takes time amd eight now things have only escalated despite me trying to leave and stop the conversation.
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