AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC

A place for members of r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC to chat with each other

Back when my “brother” Zeke was 21 he got his girl Sabrina pregnant, everyone was happy me included as this was going to be the first grandkid of the family.

Fast forward of the birth of my nephew James, he was born with a very severe disability(cerebral palsy) it didn’t matter to me his mom my parents as for us he was so beautiful. My brother as you can guess suddenly didn’t want to deal with what he called a “vegetable”. He broke up with Sabrina and just a stuck out to paying child support. He left the town.

Sabrina was obviously im distraught and me and my family were so angry at Zeke for abandoning his kid. Me and my wife supported Sabrina as we made the most and I would be damned before I allowed my nephew to suffer.

I wish I could say James was still here but last year he and Sabrina got into a car accident(drunk driver) and died almost instantly. I still can’t believe they’re gone.

Zeke had the nerve to show up at the funeral with his new wife and 2 kids. Everyone was welcoming him with open arms and crying together I was so fucking disgusted , I ignored him and left soon after.

I’m not no contact with my family I just don’t try anymore I don’t understand why the hell they’d forgive a piece of shit like him, my wife has been supportive of this she’s no longer close with my mom and sisters(they were really tight).

The bastard has been trying to reach out to me though either through social media or through my parents and again I’ve just ignored and blocked them.

Last week he sent me a lengthy message begging for forgiveness he said he knew he was cruel to James and wanted to make amends he added how he really wanted his big brother back and how much he knows his sons would love me if I let them in my heart.

I responded telling him to fuck off, I said I only had 3 brother, added how I would never consider him a part of my family. I told him i don’t want to meet his kids as I don’t consider them my nephews(from him).

After I sent that he stopped messaging me, yesterday though my dad called me practically yelling at me for the message saying I was cruel not only to Zeke but to the other kids he said they didn’t deserve the hate(never said I hated them) and more.

Aita?

I know it sounds terrible by title and it is.
TW: I'm gonna talk about sexual assault on a minor so if this is a sensitive topic to you please keep your mental health safe and don't read, I'm gonna mark the graphic details as spoiler anyway so you can skip it.

Me (21f) and my friends were talking about our first sexual experiences and how we lost our virginity.
Everything is fine and lighthearted until it comes to my friend "Richard" (24m).
Richard has always been promiscous, hypersexual and into older women and we never really questioned why, but it makes more sense now.
He told us that his first time was with a much older woman when he was only 14 and, if this is not disgusting enough, she was his best friend's mom.

Spoiler

The shocking part is that Richard was talking about it like it was something positive because, at the end of the day, it was 'not that bad' and it 'turned him into a man'.

The rest of the group was dead silent as he 'bragged' about this story and I could tell some people who were sexually assaulted as well were getting triggered so I bluntly said something like: "Richard, this is not the cool story you think, you were raped and I'm sorry about that"

After I said this he kind of shut down as well and stayed quiet the rest of the hang out (and keep in mind he's usually extremely positive and talkative).

Now I feel really guilty about it, maybe I was too brutal, maybe I shouldn't have told him at all, maybe he would be just better off living with the delusion that he wanted it after all.

I don't know if I should've done this or what I should do now.

Bf and i have been together for four years, but have been semi long distance since college started since we went to different schools. The school I am at is in a much warmer climate, which matters is relevant for my story.

Ovee the past year ive been influenced by friends here and have shifted my swimwear a decent bit. I used to only wear conservative one pieces or conservative bikinis. Now, ive started wearing ones that are more revealing but frankly more comfortable. Ive always had a pretty regular presence on social media so ive regularly posted pictures in them.

My boyfriend essentially says they show too much ass, and he wants me to go back to how i used to dress. AITA here?

My husband 36 and I F45 have been married a year. We have a child together and I’m not going to lie, our sex life tanked from it. 6 weeks ago I caught him texting/snap chatting/sending nudes to females he works with. I immediately told him I wanted a divorce. We talked,I decided to hold off on divorce under 1 stipulation- he finds a new job by the first week of August. Does this make me an A**

I (F25) married to my husband, who is (M27). We have a wonderful 5-year-old daughter, and I'm currently 8 months pregnant with our second daughter. My husband works as the Chief Operating Officer at his father's company, which demands a lot of his time and energy.

Since he took on this role, he's been working long hours to keep the business running smoothly. I understand that he feels a huge responsibility to maintain the success of the company his father built from the ground up. I've always been supportive of his career, but lately, I've been feeling frustrated and sad about how little time he spends at home.

With me being heavily pregnant, I'm struggling more with daily tasks and taking care of our daughter. I've been asking him to cut back on his hours and help out more at home, but he keeps telling me that the company needs him right now. Ever since he became COO, he’s hired people to help around the house, but what I really need is his presence and support.

Last week, I had a minor complication with my pregnancy and had to go to the hospital. He was in an important meeting and couldn’t leave right away. By the time he got to the hospital, I was already back home. I was furious and told him that he needs to reassess his priorities because our daughters and I should come first.

He argued that he's doing all of this for our family’s future, and if he doesn’t put in the effort now, we could face financial instability later. I retorted that I need him now, not in some distant future, and that I feel like a single parent even though we’re married. This led to a big fight, and I've been distant since then.

I love my husband and appreciate his dedication, but I also feel that our family needs him more than the business does, especially during this critical time.

So, AITA for feeling neglected and asking my husband to prioritize us over his work?

AITA for telling my friend she needs to stop looking for attention after picking the wrong men?

I (27F) have been friends with Megan (27F) (false name for privacy purposes) for around four years now. We met through an ex of mine (he is still one of my closest friends) whilst they were ‘hooking up’ together. She thought they was in a relationship (he never asked her to be) and he was just using her. In the end, I ended up telling her that he didn’t want anything more with her (he was also messing around with his ex girlfriend) because he was refusing to tell her and I didn’t want to see her get more hurt than she already was. I broke up with him for different reasons (he became controlling.)

Since then, we became really good friends but she’s has the absolute worst taste in men. Bearing in mind, even my friend she dated has a track record of cheating and has been in prison before.

The guys she dates are not good guys. They are either drug dealers or have been to prison. It’s like she clings onto anyone that will give her attention. Even if it’s the wrong kind of attention. I pre-warn her ‘that’s a red flag’ and her response always is ‘I know, but you know me, I love a dickhead’. But then as soon as it ends, she will post quotes on social media or she will plaster the events of what happened all over Snapchat, Facebook story, and instagram story, clearly, to get attention, when she knew she was picking the wrong man in the first place.

Which brings me to why I might be the asshole.

Recently, Megan started speaking to this 23 year old guy that was in prison who she had never met before. He has two kids with a one night stand and previously had been arrested for physically assaulting his ex. I pointed out ALL of the red flags to her and told her she’s going to get hurt. Her response was ‘Yeah I know but it’s my decision and yeah I’ll be heartbroken but I’m lonely.’ I followed with ‘Well if he can abuse his ex girlfriend, he will do it to you’ and all she said back was ‘He would never, because he knows my brother would be after him.’

Well low and behold he physically abused her. He broke into her apartment and cut up all of her clothes and ruined all of her makeup. Poured Pepsi all over her bed. He fucked everything.

And you know what? She still hasn’t blocked him.

Since then, she has been posting ‘why do I always attract the wrong men’, and posting very attention seeking quotes. I had enough and I lost my shit with her.

I told her we all attract bad men but she’s the one choosing them. It’s her fault for choosing men that have been in prison or are drug dealers because they will NEVER be good for her and that she needs to stop constantly seeking attention when things inevitably go wrong because nobody feels sorry for her anymore. It’s a vicious cycle and she needs to stop sleeping with random men because she’s lonely and that she needs to resolve whatever trauma she has because she is NOT going to have a healthy relationship until she does so not to expect me to feel sorry for her anymore.

Now, I’m of course the bad guy and she thinks I’m an asshole.AITA?

The bullying in question happened when my boy,Shaun was 13. And I know for some may seem like it was a long time ago and they were just kid and I agree if the bullying was just name calling and pulling hair but what my boy went through was downright cruel.

It first started with names and calling him slurs(Shaun is gay) it then escalated to cyber bullying to physical the one major was the kids practically jumping by boy. I cant ever forget how messed up and bloody his face looked after that. I tried really hard to get those boys in trouble but they dismissed as “kids playing around and getting too rough.”

My boy didn’t even want to go to school for nearly 4 months and in those months almost took his life, luckily my wife walked in right before he could do it. He’s gotten all the mental help he needs and more and is doing much better. We moved and he and my other kids had to practically start over.

I’m telling all this to just paint the picture and show you it wasn’t “kids being kids” it was just little assholes.

I make more than enough and I don’t ever mind helping my family you know, well I had promised my niece that I’ll be paying for her college.

Anywho onto the problem. We went back to our home town like always celebrating the 4th fo July and all of that. When we were prepping my niece ended up bringing someone I never expected to see again, that little son of a bitch Derek(part of the kids that did the bullying)

I recognize him immediately, and I know he did too since he didn’t stay for long before leaving. After he left I turned to my niece and asked her what the hell was she thinking bringing him knowing what he did to her cousin. She acted like it wasn’t a big deal and said that he had changed and the whole thing happened years ago.

How nonchalant she was about the whole thing pissed me off. My sister tried telling her she shouldn’t have brought him over and she responded saying she has a right to bring her boyfriend to meet the family and then said that if Shaun wasn’t over what happened even now it wasn’t her boyfriends fault. My wife called her a heartless bitch before leaving my kids followed her,

I stayed back and told her that if her boyfriend had changed so much then i guess he could pay for education because I’m not supporting her anymore, then I left.

Me and my family are just staying at nice hotel right now and are planning to just go to an attraction park.

I’ve been getting calls and message from my sister bil and others who were present telling me I’m over reacting and I shouldn’t take away my nieces education. They have all sided with the bully saying the little shit has changed a lot and is now a good kid and I can’t hold what he did as “troubled” kid over him forever.

Aita?

I got drunk a bit ago and tripped over our dog. I got drunk because I under ate and drank two beers too quickly; it's my fault entirely because I forgot I hadn't eaten lunch or breakfast. I broke my wrist trying to brace for the fall. I gave it some time to heal on its own, and because it could still move mostly right, but I went to UC after a week, got x rays and found out I fractured my wrist pretty good. It’s the dead of summer so we’re going through water like crazy, so we bought some more tonight and had it delivered, and instead of the usual tactic of taking it up myself, I asked the guy delivering the groceries to take the water up.

My fiancée says I was lazy and using my injury as an excuse and inconveniencing the dasher, and putting him in a weird spot where he could have been hurt by us for all he knew. She has a point since I can pretty much hold things with my wrist in the cast now, by bracing it against my body. It's only 3 flights and I always do it. She ended up taking it into the kitchen from the door and complained about that because she usually doesn’t have to, because I do. She’s upset because my injury was perfectly escapable, but I couldn’t at the time because I was drunk. I tried telling her I don’t usually get drunk but she says that doesn't matter. I do agree. I didn't realize how the alcohol would hit me, but I should have realized I was drinking too quickly despite getting distracted by... let's say intimate matters.

She's rightfully upset at having to do something she usually doesn't because of my own stupidity.

My(16f) grandmother cares very heavily about looks especially From about ages 8 to 11. I absolutely hated getting ready and getting all dolled up. My grandmother would try to get me to lose weight. It was so bad I was already keeping track of my weight at 8 years-old. I hated my hair being brushed. I hated getting ready. I hated washing my hair. I hated everything. It was like to the point. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to shave my head. Because how much I hated having hair. So my grandmother let me cut my hair "short". Her definition of short to my shoulders and even then she was like "it's too short. It's too short". She cared about my weight. I remember going to school crying because I didn’t feel like my grandmother loved me because I wasn't pretty enough. There was one point when I was 11 Where I have a bunch of black heads. All my nose and every single day for like a month. She would pick up my nose and make comments about them. Sometimes in front of other people.

I mentioned to my grandmother that I was insecure about my hair and body weight. My grandmother snorkely replied, but "I don't know why you're so insecure or why you try so hard all time". I brought up everything that she used to do with me. That I mentioned up there. And my grandmother was like "It makes me look bad as a guardian if I didn't do that". I told her that made me very insecure about the way I looked. And she was said "you're a pretty girl I don't understand why you wanted to be so ugly. At the time". I said "I was 8". If she basically won on this Rant How if I look "gruppy" (Her word's not mine). That leads to this bad impression of her. And I told her because "you kept on telling me that it made me super insecure". She is super mad about that

A few years ago, one of my closest friends, let's call him John, was in a relationship with Isabel (not her real name). I have known Isabel for quite a bit at that time. After three years, Isabel broke up with John, and John suffered for about two years after that. Naturally, I sided with John, so I was probably pretty low on Isabel's list initially. Eventually, John got over the breakup. During that time, I got together with Isabel's best friend, Emma. As a result, Isabel became friendlier and more open towards me. We never hung out as a trio, but you could subtly notice the change in her behavior towards me.

We were all invited to a relatively big party organized by two other friends of ours. As the evening progressed and the booze flowed, I ended up talking to Isabel for a long time, and she didn't speak kindly about John and the relationship with him, by making comments how bad he is in bed. She was quite drunk and, more or less proudly, confessed in our private conversation that she had been having an affair with Hunter for a few months. Hunter is one of John's closest friends. I've known him for quite a while, but we never really clicked. John knows nothing about the affair between Isabel and Hunter. At that point, I had suspected something for a while but had no proof or anything, just a feeling that was confirmed by Isabel's boastful confession.

Since I was still with Emma at the time and it wasn't really my business, I didn't tell John anything. Also, because he was going through a tough time then, I didn't want to burden him further. Now, about a year later, it still gnaws at me that I didn't tell him. I'm no longer with Emma today, so, the big question: should I tell John that one of his best friends had an almost year-long affair? Or should I continue to stay out of it? Any advice is welcome!

I (37f) have been having a conversation with several family members (various ages and genders) in a group chat. We are having a kinda heated conversation about this. It was said that my cousin married a man her kids don't like. No reason really.. just he's not their dad. Imo she did nothing wrong. Her life shouldn't be on hold because she has children. I myself have children and my youngest is 11. Should I not be in a relationship until she is 18? I am the most vocal in my family, easily. A lot of the younger people agree with me but I said it "mean". How can you say it nicely when people are basically saying you shouldn't have a life until your kids leave your house?

Edit: It seems most people think I'm the AH. I'm kinda okay with it tbh. I stand by it. She didn't bring a random man into the house, They dated for years before this. She doesn't pick him over them. He wouldn't ask her to. If any kind of cruelty were going on, they are aware they can tell us, and she would instantly take their side as she has before. I don't think her life at all, including finding romantic happiness, should stop until they leave. Who starts living a normal life in their 40s.. why bother at that point? They don't hate him. They just don't like him. I'll take being the AH this time.

I (F16) and my friend (also F16) have first met in a summer camp 6 years ago that lasts two weeks. We immediately hit it off, and are always inseperatable. We go there every year, and always do everything together. Ill call he Eva. We also have another friend there that is always our roomate. I'll call the roomate Anna. The problem started 2 years back, when she started talking about her new girlfriend. For the information, we are both bi, but back then I was still not sure about my sexuality. I started asking her a lot of questions about her relationship and how's it going. After some time, we started talking about her old celebrity crushes and she confessed that she, for the past 2 years, had a crush on me. I was very suprised by this so I asked why me, and that's when she started complimenting me and my actions. As a 14 year old girl, I didnt really know what this meant and she noticed this. For the following two weeks she started cuddling me and hugging me, which wouldnt be a problem but she did it in this weird way that I really didnt like, but I was scared of saying anything. Then on the last night in the camp, we were together covered by a blanket with Anna in the room, when she took my hand and put it between her legs. She had panties on, and I was too scared to say anything to her or move my hand away. In that moment Anna started asking me something and I tried to not be nervous as I talked to her. I didnt move my hand at all but it seemed like Eva was satisfied, and after few minutes she went to take a shower. While Eva was showering I fell asleep, and the next day we took the bus home. For some backround, my close friends are suffering from adhd and anxiety, also depression so I know how to deal with it and how it looks like. And yes, I know it can be different for anyone. Me and Eva didnt meet again until next year, when the real problem started. When we met she immediately went for a hug, and she did it in the exact way she did it last year. It freaked me out because it brought up those old memories so I slightly pushed her away, and I dont know if I imagined it but she smiled at that. We made our way to the bus where we started talking, as she told me she's been diagnosed with adhd and anxiety. She also told me how she's very sensitive to sound and how she often gets panic attacks. I, of course, felt very bad for her but I have known her for so long, and she was always very talkative, she was the leader and I only noticed this later, but she loved being the victim. Later on, it was a copy of last year. She cuddled me and hugged me in a very weird way and I hated every part of it. She wouldn't let me talk to my friends, and every time I hugged someone or talked to someone else she would do anything to get me away from them. Eva would even get into an argument with Anna about me, and whlie it really annoyed me, I was really scared of speaking up. Eva also talked about her adhd and anxiety every chance she got. If someone was angry at her, she would always blame her diagnostic and start crying. After some time, everyone around her started noticing she's faking it. I can't explain how but she was really bad at acting like has it. Eva even talked to the headmaster and demanded to be excluded from some activities, we all knew it was only those what were boring, and when the headmaster said no, Eva called her parents and they made the him let Eva skip the activities. She even faked the panic attacks. In this time, I met these two girls. They were so nice and I really liked hanging out with them. They had a roomate, I'll call her Selena, they really didnt like. She did these weird things, like when she had cramps she would leave used pads open everywhere, she didnt wash her hair and so on. Well thats when an idea struck. I decided to switch the room with Selena. We got into a heated argument with Eva about it and I felt really bad about it for the rest of the camp. I needed to get away from her controlling personality and at that time, I didnt see a different way out. I moved in with them, and it was the first time in the past few years at the camp I felt free. I hit it off with them instantly but I never told them about me and Eva. For the remaining week, I tried to talk with Eva the least I could, and while there was some tention between us, we could talk normally and smiled at each other. It was the best week at the camp I ever had. This is the first time Iam telling it to someone and I still feel very bad about betraying her like that. The camp is in a few weeks and I don't know what to expect. I really need an "out of the picture" opinion about this, so, am I the asshole?

Okay so this is my first time posting, so I’ll give a little background to the situation and then what happened. So last year my best friend got engaged to her partner and we were both excited and looking forward to planning the wedding. Straight away she asked me to be her maid of honour and then did an official announcement on Facebook.

We did got dress shopping for both of us, her daughter who is flower girl and our other friend who she asked to be bridesmaids. At this point no one had actually brought a dress as the wedding wasn’t planned until 2025.

In October last year my friend admitted that she went out on her own and got her wedding dress, I was a little disappointed as I was looking forward to joining her on that journey, but if that’s what she wanted then I supported her.

At some point late last year she told me that her and her partner had decided to push the wedding back to 2026 so they could save more money for it. I thought this was perfect as it gave me longer to lose some weight so I could look better for the wedding.

Then in March this year my partner suddenly blindsided me and broke up with me without explanation. My best friend came to my rescue with my mum as I was hysterical and couldn’t drive.

After they got me home I became unwell as I severely neglected myself and was in and out of hospital for about a week.

When I finally snapped out of my catatonic state I messaged my best friend and asked if she could come over as I wanted to see her, normally I would go to her but I was very weak and still recovering. She was on holiday but said she’d come over once she was home, but she never did. I left it as I was still very upset and down and have a long history of anxiety and depression, plus I’m also now undergoing assessments for autism as it’s highly suspected that I am autistic.

Over the next few months me and my best friend message occasionally and it felt like I was annoying her so I backed off and stopped messaging as much. I started therapy and that has done me the world of good and I am over my break up and living my life again. So when the break up had just happened when I was really upset I told my best friend hat I couldn’t have anything to do with the wedding at the moment and don’t know if I will be able to be MOH. She understood and said we will discuss it in the future.

Now onto why I’m posting. I was feeling better and scrolling Facebook and saw that my best friend had posted saying the they booked the venue for the wedding, which I was happy for them. But then I noticed she added a hashtag saying 2025 bride. I was confused but thought maybe she pressed the wrong button.

A few days later I saw a video with ideas for a wedding and sent it to my friend. She replied saying she didn’t expect me to send her anything wedding related or be involved, I thanked her for considering how I would cope with it but felt like I was in a good place to start being involved again. I asked her about the change of date and she confirmed it was put back to the original date in 2025, which was only 10 months from our discussion. I was surprised and asked her about how I can help and we need to plan her hen do. She then told me that her and the other bridesmaids were already doing the planning and didn’t want to upset me by asking for my help.

I was surprised by this as they didn’t actually ask how I was doing at all and just assumed it would upset me, even though by this point I was doing so much better and able to not cry at anything wedding related.

I told her that I was hurt that she excluded me without talking to me and she replied saying thank you for letting me know, I appreciate you telling me that. I replied just stating that I felt it was important to express how I felt as that’s what I had been working on with my therapist.

The following day when I was calm and level headed I sent her a long paragraph explaining how I am sorry if it came across as rude and it wasn’t to hurt her or upset her, it was just to express my feelings. I told her I was feeling very isolated and alone as people made decisions for me without speaking with me first and none of my friend kept in regular contact. So I felt like I had no one as I didn’t want to be a burden to her as she already has her partner and 3 children to care for.

I explained how no one has checked in on me or seen if I’m okay or how I’m doing, which is the only thing I wanted as I always drop everything and bend over backwards for others but I never get that in return. She never replied and that was sent in May.

So AITAH for telling my best friend she hurt my feelings by excluding me from her wedding planning even though I’m meant to be MOH?

Also to add at this point I still have no dress and haven’t been included in anything. She hasn’t spoken to me and started posting thinly veiled things on Facebook, so I deactivated my account as I found it very upsetting.

Edit: I told her I understood why she did it but it still hurt my feelings.

Edit 2: just to clarify I was only telling her how it made me feel, but it was a complete non issue to me, I was happy to move forward and help her with wedding planning. I’ve also discussed this with my therapist who said that I’m right to express my feelings to her and I am valid for doing that. I just don’t understand why she ignored my last message and start posting things that were very clearly aimed at me, which my mum also commented saying it seems like they are aimed at you.

Edit 3: to clarify, although I told her I didn’t want to be MOH, she knew that when I get in certain mind sets it is better to leave it, so she told me not to worry and we will talk about it when I was ready. I tried to talk to her and telling her I was ready and then all of the issue started.

Edit 4: Her wedding was 2 YEARS away at this point. So it was something we said we would discuss again when I felt better. I reached out to her after a month and a half to let her know I was doing better and felt able to help her plan her wedding and asked about her Facebook post. That’s when she told me that she brought the wedding forward by a year and at that time it was only 10 months away.

*This is not my personal story. This is from a friend of mine wanting to hide this from her family. Just though it would be a good post to discuss*

I 30F, and my mother 55 had been looking out for my grandmother 80 for about 10 years but had to transition her to a nursing center for her more extensive cardiac issues and advanced dementia for the past 2 years. Her first nursing home started off great but the past few months had seen a change in their management and nursing staff not for the better. Grandma was not receiving adequate care or attention anymore so our family had decided to have her transferred to another nursing home, a little farther from our home but with great ratings and reviews and I actually know a nurse there from college. Arrangements were made and my grandmother was brought to this new home last week.

Now to my mother. Mom has always had some issues of lashing out at others whenever she is nervous, anxious, upset, scared etc. She tends to get extremely vicious, melodramatic, belligerent and insulting to whoever is with her or directed at the worker on hand. Apparently being mean to others makes her feel better and regain some sort of emotional control.

My college friend is a nurse there who gave us a tour of the center with their marketing director beforehand. The place was clean, staff and nurses seemed friendly and diligent, lots of activities, it was wonderful. Now our first day at the new nursing home, we drive with the medical transport. Mom was anxious all day about the new home being just as neglectful as the last place was. I repeatedly tried to reassure her that she saw herself before that this place was great and grandma would be in good hands with adequate care.

Grandma was greeted in her new room by a nurse and aide who helped her get settled in bed. The nurse James, welcomed us and had some admission consents for Mom to sign. That's when she started......

Mom goes from 0 to 100 immediately. Nurse James asks about life saving CPR permission, Mom instead asks how long he has been a nurse. He responds a few years and has worked here for 3 and half. She snaps that isn't really a long enough time to have the experience if there was an emergency for grandma and what if he messed up and let her die. He is obviously confused and put off by this statement and tries to assure us that all staff, nursing housekeeping management and food prep are all CPR trained and certified.

Mom continues to go off that he must be stupid to think she won't have his job if anything happens to grandma. He tries to reassure her but she just keeps cutting him off with more threats to sue or have him fired and even makes a insult about the necklace he was wearing. I lose my own cool and scream loudly out at my mom "Will you knock your shit off and stop being such a fucking bitch to him?! He hasn't even done anything to excuse how your treating him!" She gives me this wide stare then leaves the room as another nurse came in due to the loud yelling.

I sign for the rest of the consents, James the nurse is not very personable anymore and is very curt and icy to me and leaves without a word after paperwork is done. Nursing manager catches me out in the hall to ass what happened. I tell her my mother unfortunately started this as she can get agitated when she is not in a good mood. Nurse informs me that if my mother starts any more conflict with staff going forward, she will have to be banned from the home as a visitor. I apologized to her again for mom's behavior and left.

Mom was waiting by my car fuming. We get in and she immediately starts crying about how I could just yell at her like that after her being scared for grandma. Flabbergasted, I asked "are you completely unaware how you were speaking to the nurse?! You were so out of line!" She goes on that I should know she doesn't always mean the things she says when she's upset and I didn't even give her a chance to calm down and apologize to the nurse. I countered she shouldn't have started a situation to apologize for in the first place and that she was being terrible. I then told her that manager told me she would be banned if she makes another scene. She called me a fucking asshole for yelling out her in front of the nurse and not defending her to the staff. I just keep my mouth shut, no more words are said and drop her off at home.

We haven't spoken in a couple weeks. I've been to see grandma 3 times. Grandma says she has seen mom twice and mom cried to whole visit saying I hate her. I've asked the nurses who confirmed mom has been there a few times but she hasn't caused any drama. In fact, she refuses to speak to any staff she meets and will only talk to grandma. She did apparently only speak to the manager once and told manager that when she is visiting she does not want anyone talking to her if it isn't absolutely necessary.

So, AITA for yelling at my mom?

I(18F) got new neighbors last month, I don't really know them but they are a big family really big, there were 9 people moving in. I've said hi to them before but they didn't care about my greeting, since I was young my family and I would try to get to know all the neighbors but these neighbors don't care for friends around here.

I realized the neighbor's kids would come over to my backyard to play on the swings, I didn't realize it because they would come over when no one was home. My mom put cameras in the backyard, she should have been put them.

We could see them on the camera playing on the swings and throwing toys at each other, mind you the playground set is for my 4-year-old brother so it can only hold his weight. They would leave trash and it was my job to clean it up.

The left swing was broken because the kids were older and around my age, yes they wanted to have fun but we didn't know them and if something happened to them then we would be blamed for it since it was our property.

To know that these parents let their kids outside this late is crazy, I was getting annoyed honestly so I went over to their house, and they didn't answer so I assumed they weren't there or they didn't want to answer. I wrote them a note since no one was answering the door, I told them to stop letting their kids come over because they broke our swing and left trash everywhere. Was I too harsh?

Edit: thank you guys for providing me advice, the neighbors have not got back to us but my parents said if they don’t speak up then she will make legal actions. My dad will get one of my uncles to fix our fence.

This week my (16, F) family was staying at my grandparents house. My mom moved across the country from where her family lives when she was younger for work, so we don’t get to see each other very often. Yesterday it was my birthday and this past week my grandmother has been asking me what type of cake I wanted for my birthday. I told her thanks so much for offering me a cake but I didn’t want a cake this year. (I’ve been on a 1400 calorie diet and if I eat cake it will mess up my diet for the day. I feel so gross whenever I go over my calorie count for the day so I’d rather just eat how I normally do without dessert tempting me.)She asked me if I was sure a few more times but eventually seemed receptive. However, on my birthday after dinner, my grandma brought out a beautiful chocolate cake with raspberry filling (my favorite). I blew out the candles after they sang happy birthday to me and said thank you to my grandmother for making me such a beautiful cake. My family offered me the first piece but I said no thank you. This made it a little awkward as you can imagine but I reminded them that I didn’t want a birthday cake this year but to not let that stop them from enjoying the cake. My grandma asked me if I didn’t like her cake and I told her that I love her cakes but I just didn’t feel like cake this year. (My family doesn’t know I’m on a diet and I don’t think they would respond well if they did so I didn’t tell them.) my mom got mad at me and told me that I was being an ungrateful brat and to just eat the cake my grandmother worked hard to make me. I stood my ground and told everyone once again that I didn’t want to. No everyone is mad at me for being ungrateful but I don’t think that’s fair because thanked my grandmother many times for the cake and told her how good it looked and I never asked for a cake in the first place. But AITAH for not eating my birthday cake?

AITA for not taking my sons to see their dad who they haven't seen in almost 5 yrs?

BS: My boys are almost 8 have not seen their BD in person since they were 3. We all lived together at BD mother's house but almost out of the blue he got mad and wanted me to leave so I took the kids with me as I was the sole provider for them their whole life and he didn't have a stable job. The kids and I moved out of state with my mom .

Every summer BD says he is going to come get them with no real plan on how to do things or care for them. The first year he said he was coming but backed out because he made the mistake of saying that he planned to stay at my house for the 3 weeks. I told him he had lost his mind and that he could not just stay at my house for 3 weeks, and that 3 days is all I would offer him. He refused and went home. The next 3 years he said he would come but didn't follow through for one reason or another. This year he claims that because I refuse to bring them to him or let him stay at my house (for free) that I am keeping them from him and they tell him that they want to see him in person when he calls.

Keep in mind that I work a full-time job, he provides no support, calls to check on them maybe once a month, and he lives several hours away in another state with no job.

AITA?

I 25 F have 2 sisters 21 and 27, they both moved out long time ago because of uni etc but I still live with them because my collage is in our home town . We have a toxic dad since childhood. He used to beat us as kids and stuff. Our relationship with him is barely there . I always have nightmares about him . He doesn’t beat us anymore but he is very aggressively. He always yells at us for little things and also at my mom . One time we wanted to celebrate my graduation from college at a restaurant . On the way there I asked him „ I wanna go to England one day „ and he freaked out . Why ? Because I asked him outside while we were on our way to the restaurant. He says it’s a question to ask home . At the restaurant he didn’t order anything and my mom said they have to pack the food for us to take it home . She asked him what his issue is and he started yelling . I always go to the restaurant bc it’s my fav and the waiter knows me . It was soo embarrassing bc he was yelling and everyone were looking . When we went home they kept fighting he came even so close to her I was scared that something would happen. This is something that always happens. And he doesn’t let us say our opinion, he always wants to have right and likes to bring things from the past if he argues. And calls us disrespectful etc . My older sister is meeting a man she wants to introduce to my parents . My mom agrees but my dad for some reason doesn’t . He never met him before and kinda doesn’t want to . We don’t know what to do and keep in mind we are Christian’s . He even refuses to bring a third person to help us . Idk what to do I’m in my depression phase still and talking to him doesn’t work guys you don’t understand . What can we do for this to stop ? AITA?

I (M22) and I've been dating my girlfriend (F20) for about a year now. She's amazing, hardworking, and incredibly smart. She's currently attending a community college and plans to transfer to a four-year university next year. However, she struggles financially, as her family isn't well off.

I come from a more affluent background, and my parents have always been generous with me. I’ve got a stable job and a decent savings account. Seeing her work so hard and stress about her finances, I wanted to help. So, a few weeks ago, I offered to pay for her tuition when she transfers to the university.

I thought it was a good idea. I love her and I want to support her dreams. But when I made the offer, she got really upset. She accused me of thinking she was some sort of charity case and said that my offer made her feel inadequate and embarrassed about her financial situation.

She told me that she didn't want to feel indebted to anyone and that she wanted to achieve her goals on her own. I tried to explain that I was just trying to help and that I didn't see her as a charity case at all. I just wanted to ease her burden and support her in any way I could.

Since then, things have been tense between us. She’s been distant and I’m starting to feel like I really messed up. I thought my offer was a kind gesture, but now I’m questioning if I was out of line.

So, AITA for offering to pay for my girlfriend’s college tuition?

I (39) F cut contact with my mother 3 1/2 years ago after a very fateful conversation about my daughter and my son. we were going to have a get together after waiting to see my mother and her partner for over a year after they were traveling cross-country. I set up their hotel. I set up fun activities for us to do. I was so excited. I couldn’t wait and every day I would count it down to when they would come and visit. My mom had just recently married, but here’s the spoiler to that she had only married by ceremony, not by license, and continued to call him my dad my real dad. She had no right in my opinion and I was furious to have even met the guy and see how the changes he made in her created this monster that wasn’t my mom anymore.. Just for context..

First, you should know my eldest child. My son is autistic. He is the most easy-going, loving, kind individual and also the most quiet. My daughter, who is only eight and at the time she was just going on six not quite yet.. she as we all suspected has Adhd but at that time we had not gotten a proper diagnosis yet to help her. so getting back to that fateful conversation I mentioned before we were talking about having a big family get together involving my mom, her partner and my family. As we were discussing this weeks before their arrival, my mom dropped the bombshell that my daughter was not allowed to attend. This family gathering that my husband of nearly 20 years was not allowed to attend this family gathering just me and my son.

At that point, I had decided to cut contact with both of them for good. It was the hardest thing I had to do because I had never given up on my mother from all the various things that she had done wrong in my past with her growing up. But that’s another story entirely.

So would I be the asshole if after all this time she tried to reconnect and I refused?

I(16f) have the hello kitty impressions mirror. This mirror cost me $300 and I paid for it with my own money. My aunt and cousins come over. So my cousin Sarah(14f Turning 15 in 2 months) Was staying in my room So I take her to my room. I go leave to go get blankets. I hear The Sound of broken glass. Somehow broke my mirror. When I asked her how she did that she was like "I don't know". So I start yelling at her because it was expensive mirror. My aunt and yelled at me "do not yell at my daughter like that". I said "then your daughter shouldn't have broken my $300 mirror. Sarah is going to pay me back for it or she's going to get me a new one. I do not care". Sarah looks shocked and starts crying and saying it was an "accident". My aunt was like "we can't afford it. We can't afford that". I was like "I do not care you're going to pay me back for it. It was $300 +tex +Shipping". My grandmother comes in and sees the mirror broken. I tell her what happened. My grandmother told my aunt that they need to pay me back for the mirror. Sarah just buried her head and cried. My aunt was just begging you to have mercy because They couldn't afford it. I don't know what to do? Then my aunt looked at my savings box on my vanity. She opens it and finds that I have $500 saved. She said "you can afford it. So why are you doing this to us?" I said that money is for other things. My aunt thinks this is unfair to Sarah. Because I have enough money for it and Sarah. Doesn't have enough money for it. I don't know what to do.

Hi, if you read my past posts you’ll see my trouble with eating disorder and my parents. My mother caught me throwing up again and she knocked on the bathroom door and said “I’m gonna kill you.” Like it would stop me. After i left the bathroom i went to her room and i told her it was her fault for not stopping my sister from bullying me about my weight for the past three years and first the said she don’t remember my sister bullying me💀💀💀 after i pressed she became with a excuse and her excuse was “You talked back to her too.” So I can say everything if a person talks back to me? This is not okay dude and i swear i just kept my mouth shut for the first two year and this year i started talking back to her. I don’t know what to do she acts like nothing ever happened like i didn’t fall asleep while crying that night and woke up with weirdly puffed eyes. This happened maybe a week ago and tonight she came to my room and started talking to me about my day (I’m working at her cousins cafe as a waitress and it’s really far away from where i live like it’s 40 minutes with train, and i get so tired every day on foot for seven hours but i feel like i need to stay away from the house as much as i can) idk how but the day my mother said “I’m gonna kill you.” when she caught me throwinv up again suddenly came up and she started saying “You’re talking like that becauss you got everything you wanted so you can talk bad to me, mom buy this, mom transfer money to my bus card. You’re always coming to me with those things and you’re talking to me like that.” then she left my room. I really don’t know if it’s my fault for still being cold to her. I don’t know what to do.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/comments/1dv4p1r/aita_for_going_no_contact_with_my_family/

UPDATE:
Hi everyone,

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your overwhelming support and kind words. It means a lot to me. I've received many questions and suggestions, so I thought I'd address some of the main points here.

Consider a DNA Check: Several people suggested I get a DNA check to confirm if my dad is my biological father due to the disparate treatment between my sister and me. I come from a very religious household, so if my dad wasn’t my biological father, it would be something I’d know about. Additionally, I’ve been shown pictures of him as a kid, and there’s a strong resemblance between us. So, I’m 99% confident he is my biological father.

Therapy and Mental Health Support: Many of you suggested seeking therapy to help unlearn the harmful lessons my parents taught me and to help process my feelings. I’ve checked with my college, and they offer free counseling services, which I plan to utilize for the remainder of the summer.

Relationship with Sister: To those who asked about my relationship with my sister: it’s complicated. We were constantly pitted against each other and compared in every aspect – from our personality and grades to our friends. This comparison and competition created a lot of tension and resentment between us. It wasn’t just that my parents treated her better; they also used her achievements to highlight my perceived failures, which made our relationship strained. I don't talk to her either.

Financial Independence and Security: I’ve taken steps to secure my financial independence. I locked down my bank account and got my first credit card to start building my credit. This is in preparation for when I need to get an apartment after graduation. I’ve also been asked about my current situation and how I’m supporting myself. I got my first part-time job this past semester at an escape room within walking distance of my dorm. I've learned how to run all the rooms, work the front desk, and I'm currently training to be a team manager. I love this job and my coworkers. Recently, I also got a second part-time job as a student assistant within my major’s office. I plan to use my paycheck from this job for daily necessities while saving all the income from the escape room. I’m trying to set myself up the best I can for after I graduate because I will only have myself to rely on, nobody else.

Thank you again for all your support and advice. It means the world to me. This has been incredibly challenging, but I’m determined to focus on my future. I’m committed to finishing college, finding a job in my field, and building a life where I’m surrounded by people who love and respect me. I’ve started to build a support system with friends who feel more like family.