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This is great advice, but for me radical self forgiveness feels almost impossible with all the shit I have done in my life and to my family. I'm doing the work, but I haven't been able to shake the shame cycle yet, maybe some day I will and I know if I can, that maybe my house can find peace and happiness. 🤞
bad people don’t feel bad about doing bad things
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E588epxf2R8&t=2s&pp=ygUbdGFyYSBicmFjaCBzZWxmIGZvcmdpdmVuZXNz
if you’re into meditation i highly recommend (or even if you aren’t). ❤️❤️
i love this.. saved this comment to my photos as a reminder 🥺 have a nice day all
❤️❤️❤️
thanks
I hate myself from a place of love? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Also the only reason I hate myself right now is because I’m being held hostage by a guest who won’t leave my home and called me evil if I commit suicide while making me feel suicidal by being emotionally abusive and disregarding my wishes in a home they pay for nothing in.
if it makes no sense to you that’s fine! i can’t force you to heal baby
Ok. I’ll just tolerate my brother’s hatred. Hadn’t thought of that. Thanks so much sweetie.
Recovery isnt about having 100% good days. It’s about what you do during those bad days that counts. Trust me, so many people with BPD dwell on things, which is fine but they refuse to acknowledge that they have an entire life to change things. Ive been in psychiatric hospitals, ive jumped off a bridge but the only thing that helped me heal is MYSELF and my mindset. Dont let the diagnosis amplify everything and dont let it make you think that you cant get better when you can.
I know I can get better? I was getting better until my brother admitted to being a sadist and physically abusing me as a child after he came to stay with me as a guest. He won’t do a lot of things I ask like throw away his trash/put recycling in the recycling and crosses all my boundaries constantly every day including interrupting me while I’m on the phone in my room with the door closed. He spies on all my conversations. I never said I can’t get better.
I dont wanna tell you what to do at all. But the brother sounds toxic and it would be beneficial if you worked your way away from living around them.
Yup, working on that. It’ll take a few weeks before cops can legally do anything about his presence. That’s how the legal system works. Guests become tenants after a week 🤷♀️
You'll get past this bad toxic person in your life, maybe next week, maybe next month. Love yourself first, and you'll find a better partner in life because you will both love yourself first then can love eachother even stronger.
Been there myself. An opportunity will present itself, you just have to wait and keep your eyes open
I’m hell bound determined to be in the 30% this shit condition my be a part of my life, but it won’t run it. As long as I can help it that is lol
I like your determination and optimism :)
Love this perspective! 💌
I don’t like stats like these. I also think stats are malleable. We can CHANGE THIS STAT. Reddit and online forums empower us to build a support system that is quite frankly available 24/7. Love yourself and you matter. You are not alone and we can make a difference in our lives and others. We have to work at recognizing patterns and growing our peace. ✌️
It is part of the duality of this disorder.
BPD has one of the highest suicide rates of all personality disorders yet BPD is also the most successfully treated personality disorder.
It certainly does not have to be a life sentence.
Extremely funny that even the disorder's prognosis splits between two extremes.
This made me giggle out loud.
I just noticed your little tag under your name. Off topic, I know. How did you get that “user has BPD” thing?
Not sure if the function is available on new Reddit (I refuse to use it and so don't keep up with its UX changes), but on old Reddit you just navigate over to your username under the first few bits of information on the sidebar. There'll be a checkmark that says "show my flair on this subreddit", then your username with a little "edit" button next to it. Click the edit button and you'll be able to assign yourself a flair (which is what those tags are called on Reddit).
I giggled
That statistic is so scary. It’s true that other people impacted our lives in hugely negative and harmful ways. Unfortunately they won’t be the ones to change this statistic. That’s on us.
This condition is manageable but it’s incredibly hard work. It’s intensive therapy and a lot of independent work too. It’s reflection, emotional regulation, firm boundaries, and making meaningful connections. We need to improve our self esteem and confidence to exist comfortably in this world but remain vigilant around others to protect ourselves.
We can make a difference in our own lives if we put the work in and hopefully change the statistic for the better. We don’t have to let this condition consume us.
If i could like this comment five more times I would ❣️
I've tried to twice and the few people I know who have it have tried to. Two succeeded and were both men. It's something that's in the back of my mind most of the day, regardless of meds. I have other comorbidities, so I dont think that helps. The statistics are scary. Especially for men
Is it because the men tried using more lethal methods like firearms?
No. I'm in the uk. Men tend to hang themselves here. Both died by hanging.
every single friend with bpd i know has tried :( this is like 4 people tho. 5 if it includes me
I’ve tried to kms so many times I literally can’t even count. I have no idea how or why the fuck I’m still alive. I also have bipolar 1 and am addicted to opiates and abuse a few other substances as well, so that only compounds my issues and my risk of suicide.
I remember when I was in treatment for the second time in October one of my counselors said “people with your history usually don’t make it” and said he was surprised I was still here and that I’m here for a reason.
I feel like I never really had a chance given all of my mental illnesses and my substance abuse issues.
bipolar+BPD is gnarly
PLUS opiate addiction?? fuck dude you're strong as hell. I hope you find that reason your counselor mentioned ❤️
Never give up on yourself. It takes you to get better, sadly you were given a challenging set of cards. But dont give up, show the world the best you can do with the cards you've been given.
We all love you , I love you , God loves you, Jesus loves you, ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️you’re here for various reasons , the battle was already won for you! Have faith! https://youtu.be/nqt_5F5FZa0?si=OZesmXrphhCFvNa8
Hey bro. Fellow bpd+bipolar here oh and adhd. Substance abuse? Count me in. Alcohol, drugs, prescription adhd meds. Nice. Tho I have tried kms. I dont think I can, I wish it stays that way. I’m 31M. My gf is about to leave me. Im about to lose my job for the 8th time.
But I’m getting help now. I have meds and a therapist. I am just not sure anymore everything is happening so fast. I want to have 1 day. 1 day to truly be free to go where I want all alone with a nice view. After that, I dont know. I’m thinking of kms. I wrote a poem because of my despair.
Reason i havent tried it is just because of my dad. Thats the only person. He’s a good man. And I dont want to give him that extra burden.
I also got a tattoo to commemorate the day I CHOSE to live.
10% die to suicide. 1 in 10. That’s a awful statistic.
jesus that's so sad.... the other day i thought that ten percent was nothing until you put it like that. wish you luck, friend <3
10% of all pwBPD succeed too, it's a sad statistic.
Let's re-evaluate this statistic in 50-70 years. Now we have so many support groups and more resources than ever before. We are given some of the worst days in life time and time again. Life is playing tricks on us, and laughing along the way. We keep kicking ass we can show it how strong it made us!🤟🤞🏼
it’s so scary to think about how much that is like one in every 10 people?! take ur average college classroom of 40 kids and that’s 4 people dead:(
This stat terrifies me. I never actually had an attempt, but I vividly remember self harming constantly, feeling suicidal, and even daydreaming of different ways to do it. I still remember what it was like, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget. I feel lucky in some way that I was able to get help and stop myself from actually escalating it and actually going through with it, but I’m scared that one day in the future, I won’t be able to stop myself and that I’ll start having suicidal thoughts again and that I’ll carry through with it. The thought of that scares me so much.
Too many times. Over 50. My body can tolerate a lot of abuse without dying.
I never want to wake up from one again. Only reason why I don't anymore.
❤️
Proud of you for still sticking around
yeah, same. i dont understand how my mind is so fragile, but my body is so strong. like goddamit, it just wont die. kinda feel like the universe is sending signs that im meant to be alive atp, idk. tryinf to find hope in all the little places. hope youre ok.
It is a day by day battle sometimes between the BPD parts of me and my Self. The suicidal thoughts get easier as I gain more passion for life. They still are there, like a reflex, when things go wrong, but I look at them as comforting me (most of the time) rather than rejecting them. This helps. And when I do get to the worst parts, my flashbacks of waking from the coma from the last time makes me stop.
I hope things go better for you. Every day you live is another victory against the war inside your head. I am happy you are here.
Thinking about it today.
Did anything happen today specifically? Or just like a culmination or shitty feelings?
I’m not actually sure
You can always reach out to me!
Thank you! That would be nice! 💗
I've tried a few times, obviously I did a terrible job 🤪 Mostly drug cocktails..
But in all seriousness I've not made an attempt in many years. It doesn't need to be like this, we can and we do recover.
I believe that the more support we give eachother and the more that society understands mental health and P disorders, the better our chances are of living a full and productive life without it ending short in pain and misery.
You sound just like me. I od'd many times. Only one was actually life threatening, but I obviously made it through. I'm still not entirely sure if I'm glad the doctors saved me or not, 5 years later. It's been a couple years since I've tried to harm myself now though and I am doing better. I have passive suicidal thoughts occasionally, but that's all they are and I can live with that.
Well done on the recovery from SH. You need to be proud of that. I'm glad you didn't succeed, last night when I made that comment I felt like I was screaming into the wind with nobody to hear me. That reply of yours is exactly why I wrote what I did. We can recover if we support each other like this, when I was a young dude the internet was young and just a few message boards existed for people with PDs and they were pretty scary places. There's much more understanding now and having BPD isn't a life sentence. For me, when I was overdosing I was trying to escape the mental pain I was in, my tolerance to opiates was really high and so I spent my life figuring out ways that I could just be numb, dying wasn't really a concern, more a solution.
Then a close friend died from an OD who had BPD. I had young kids and so I guess something just changed in me.
I have lots of suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts, but that's all they are.
Thank you for being here!
I got very close to being in these stats. I just know it would hurt my family beyond repair and I won't do that to them.
If I for whatever reason become the last one around, well hello sweet release.
ive attempted more times than i can count, id guess over/around 30 times. but feeling the grief of my fp committing suicide has made me attempt alot less, in fact after he died i didnt attempt for 2 years after, unfortunately in this 3rd year i have a few times, as i got a new fp, which throws all my emotions all over the place unfortunately. every person i know with bpd attempt semi regularly and its hard to see knowing that its very possible they will die one day due to suicide if something doesnt change, and the same goes for me. trying my hardest to not let my emotions get the best of me. best advice i can have and yes this goes for people with depression aswell like me, whenever you want to, wait 2 days, not the best motto but many times ive felt this way i sleep on it, usually by the next evening i dont have the same force behind me to do it, although wanting to, and the day after the issue that caused me to feel this way is either over, resolved or my emotions around it have fainted. no this isnt the case with everything, especially when i was being actively abxsed etc, but for alot of 'inpulsive' traits this can help.
3 times =/
And you're still here, the world wants you to stay. You deserve to be happy and to die from old age. It's not fair you got delt these cards. But you're going to do better in life than people who were delt even better cards because that's how amazing of a person you are<3
You are a kind soul ❤️
Channeling SH or SIB urges to meso skin care and microneedling etc as a replacement behavior is helpful for me. Maybe itll help someone else.
I’m disabled. My statistics of kms are tripled. I have no help in my personal life. Calling myself scared is an understatement. The world really fucking hates us and makes sure we know. Forever. I hope I become the 30% but on some days I really don’t know
You're here still. Every day you choose you. Every time you smile and do something heart racing, you're kicking ass. You, you did this, you did that, you're still here. No one can take that away from you. Remember that, you are loved Kinder<3
Did getting a tattoo help with your SH?
I got a big piece to cover my old scars around my wrist and forearm and it was healing for me. Haven’t SH in almost 12 years now
For me yes, I will admit I had one near slip up while I was in rehab (30 days) and I kept scratching at my skin where I'd cut for my X reasons. And that in of itself broke me inside and I felt ashamed afterwards. The one person I should love more than anyone is myself, so I felt awful doing that. Now that I've been free from self harm for 4 years, alchohol for 5 years, its rarely a thought of an act to do. However I am a chronic cannabis smoker and I'm trying to kick that habit now as well. Trying to force myself into healifer hobbies and not just work. The more I can distract myself with positive the less time I can have for any negative<3
Not OP but for me at least, no. My semicolon tat was my first, I have 11 now. It continued on n off for years until I attempted. Haven’t done any physical forms since.
For me, it didn't. I got a tattoo on my wrist to cover a scar, and while I never self harmed on my wrist again (because I didn't want to damage the tattoo) I still continued to do it on other parts of my body. I haven't self harmed in about 3 years now, but the tattoo played no part in that. I do still like it though and I'm glad I got it
You still choose better for your love for yourself! In the end that's all that matters:) if it is a tattoo, a painting, a poem, a person, a thought. Something that gets us to say, enough is enough. We want better for ourselves because that is what we deserve, many of us have lived through total shit and still go through it every day. But those of us who choose to love ourselves above all else are the ones the happiest. Stay kicking ass kinder!
I finally got accepted into a DBT program but simultaneously found out I needed to start applying for jobs ASAP and lost my emotional support animals. I've been trying to get into a DBT program for over two years and I know I should be excited but I'm queer and don't have family - I lived for my pets. I feel so hollow and alone without them. I decided to not date anyone for a while to avoid abuse so I expected to be alone but not without my 5 year old cat. The vet just called and said she's ill. It's treatable but I don't have any ability to get her treatment. I have no idea how many emails/phone calls/texts are appropriate so I've just been avoiding it so I don't get slapped with a harassment charge. I only conveyed that I wanted my animals back and I'd leave them alone forever and then the vet's news about my cat and I don't plan on reaching out again. I'm beyond devastated. My ex humiliated me saying I was too mentally incompetent to care for my pets (I'm not but it's hard not to believe him) and would prove it in court. I'm unemployed so can't afford court fees. Just filing the paperwork is $200 and I'd need to hire someone to find his address and someone to *do* the paperwork. I just don't have the money especially since he's also said he'll countersue for board costs. He's a lawyer so much more well connected than I am. I've never been more grief stricken in my life. My patient care advocate gave him my pets and blocked me the last time I was hospitalized. I got help but at what cost?
4 times for me but only 2 hospitalizations.
I couldv used this post a few days ago. unfortunately the firefighters caught me so im here. Its what other people did to our lives, but its also how we react and control our toxicity. its a very hard dog to keep leashed
You can do it, you were ment to be found. You are ment for more and can achieve it, I believe you will be happy and feel loved by yourself and others soon. <3 stay strong kinder.
I got my SH arm covered a couple of years ago, and it's honestly saved me from relapsing since then <3
I’ve tried to do it multiple times in my life. Honestly after years of therapy it changed my mindset a lot and I now think I am able to live life fully even though there will be many many downs (as well as ups).
My psychiatrist actually told me this fact when I first got diagnosed, many years after I’ve already tried to do it and without him knowing, as well when I later attempted again.
However, I’m here to say that it gets better. I’ve been hospitalized for 3 months and it changed my life honestly. I no longer fit the BPD diagnosis, my diagnosis now is Mixed personality disorder with paranoid reactions (without psychosis) and I am still on aripiprazole and zoloft but it is much, much better.
Time for me to start feeling like I've been faking everything because I've never attempted before (even though I've been committed for informing somebody that I had a plan)
daily reminder that imposter syndrome is a symptom and you are valid
The reminder is always appreciated <3
Not surprised
My favorite BPD stat, “The 10-year outcome for patients with borderline personality disorder is diagnostic remission in 85% to 93%”. As long as you can stay alive, you will not feel this way forever, and if you receive treatment you won’t be diagnosable forever. That’s not to say all symptoms will be gone, or that you won’t have to maintain effort towards psychosocial recovery, but BPD is not a death sentence. DBT can do truly amazing things for you.
I have like 26 tattoos now because it’s become such a coping skill. I understand why Pete Davidson looks the way he does with all the random tatts.
5 attempts and going strong (last one two nights ago🫤)
i wanna be better. i will be better. sending sm love to all of you.
thank u. rly needed this rn
Thank you, you keep trying too. Don't give up. The mood & the thoughts will pass by, even if they come back, let them pass again
not even some of the worst statistics we have THE worst statistic. higher than any other personality disorder too
I have bipolar disorder. 20% of us will kill ourselves. 60% us have at least 1 unsuccessful attempt.
I'm gonna repeat the cliché because it is so true...
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If your struggling with suicidal ideation please reach out to someone. Call the hotline. Dial 998. Please don't cut your life short. Things will get better.
Thank you OP for posting this.
oh well, trying to be part of the ten that get it done💪
☹️
not up-voting this because I don't want you to die, so just commenting so it doesn't feel like you're screaming into the void
You can always reach out, we want you here. We care about you. You matter. You are important and can control your life soon even if not right now. You can do it<3
And 10 Percent of us sadly succed in our Attempts
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3mo
My suicidal issues come from DID not depression. If I'm traumatized and fully triggered, I black out and OD on pills. I have no desire to die, but if I get triggered I go dark and my reflex is suicide attempts. It's freaking ridiculous
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guys, something that changed my life: even when you feel like you hate yourself, that part of you that judges your actions actually judges from a place of love and knowing you can do better. deep down, your inner judge sees your greatest potential and wants the best for you because of that. radical self forgiveness is the only way to escape the shame cycle. i love y’all!