What has helped people when therapy didn't work

SpoilerSeeking Advice

Trigger warning: Depression

I haven't posted on reddit before but I found this sub and after reading through a lot of the posts I feel I've found a group of people who 'get it'. I was diagnosed with Autism in 2016 (15yo) and am now stuck in the 5 year waiting list for an ADHD Assessment. I have been depressed for years and I struggle to remember how it feels to not be, and have always had high levels of anxiety especially around people probably due to never fitting in, being bullied in school etc etc.

I had CBT as a teenager but it seemed to make my depression worse, I found it very patronising (Apparently this is common with autism). I was also on antidepressants and sleeping pills. Every piece of help that I got seemed to make me worse to the point of suicidal tendencies such as running in traffic etc. I am now 22 with a loving bf, in my final year of university. I used the disability services my uni provided such as talking therapy. Talking therapy doesn't really help much but the lady I saw just let me talk her ear off for an hour each week. Her son has ADHD and she said I remind her of him. Ironic.

But now I am having CBT again as I keep having deep depressive periods, even when these aren't active all I seem to feel is apathy (aside from my random energy bursts where I'm running around screaming acting a fool), and anxiety mainly based around how I believe everyone hates me. Or if my bf says something in a slightly 'off' tone of voice I have a full blown panic attack because I think he hates my guts, just because I can't figure out what people mean.

I have my second session tomorrow but if it goes the same as last week I am going to cut it off again. I'm sure a lot of you will understand this, being self-aware of your problems is part of the problem. When a therapist suggests mindfulness, or meditation, it makes me so angry I want to shout 'Do you not think I would have thought of this!'. Or when they tell you that when you're feeling anxious, you need to not let the negative thoughts in, or you need to breath. I know these feelings aren't true. I know as a fact when I walk into a room everyone isn't going to stop what they're doing and spit on me. It's irrational. So no, your techniques don't work, I have researched all this to buggery. Getting therapy is my last resort and you're telling me information I already know.

I am sorry for the rant there, I am just frustrated. I am afraid that I'll be stuck like this forever and I want to know if anyone else who has experienced this has figured out how to help themselves. Are there any tricks to help reduce shutdowns, help ease stress. One trick I do for myself (In regard to always being late) is when something is planned, I always write down that it starts half hour before it does. Eventually I'll forget the correct time so when I end up being late, I'm actually on time.

Or maybe CBT isn't the right kind of therapy for us? Has anyone had a different kind that works better for neurodivergence.

in AuDHDWomenby Not_Real77

97%

5mo

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OverwelmedAdhder

5mo

I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression and CPTSD my whole life, along with an unbelievable lack of energy. I’ve tried multiple things, I’ll tell you which were the most effective for me, and are either cheap or free.

1 - TRE exercises helped me a lot.

2 - I’m not sure what is it that you’re struggling with, but the school of life also helped me a lot and was recommended to me by another person with autism, back when I wasn’t diagnosed. It didn’t “make me feel better”, but it did help me see the automatic thoughts and error on my interpretation of certain situations, which in turn, made them less painful.

3 - Consuming at least 20g of proteins every day changed my life. It helps with both autism and ADHD, look it up. You don’t need to make a grand breakfast, a protein supplement does the trick.

4 - Drinking enough water. It’s hard. What I did was buy a water bottle I love, and have it always by my side. It might not work perfectly every time, but I sure drink a lot more water now than before.

5 - It turns out that light overstimulate me, makes me tired, anxious and depressed. Resting half and hour every 4 hours has been lifesaving. I simply close my eyes and listen to something entertaining, to rest my vision and keep my ADHD brain entertained.

6 - I’ve been recently told by a psychologist specialising in autism, that depression is not an emotion, is a behaviour pattern. The pattern of depression is neglecting 4 things: social interactions, things that are important for you, things that are important to get done, and pleasure-driven activities. The path out of depression for someone like you and me according to this doctor, is to pick one of those at a time and make it as frictionless as possible to include it into your daily life. Once you’ve managed to include and maintain one, add another.

7 - I had a B12 deficiency which is very common in people with ADHD. I’ve been taking supplements and it’s helped both my depression and overall energy.

8 - More than anything, there’s a vicious cycle between anxiety and depression. You can look it up, it’s clearly explained on YouTube. To nip depression in the but, you’ve gotta get your anxiety in check first. The thing that helps me with my anxiety is getting organised. Regarding this last point I gotta be honest with you, I wouldn’t be able to get organised without my ADHD meds. But maybe some combination of the above helps you enough to get you through to your own ADHD diagnosis.

fj_lite

5mo

Not enough people talk about TREs! If nothing else, they helped me to realize how much tension I was carrying in my body. Then I was able to get help (acupuncture, massage) and also develop the skills of bodily awareness and relaxation of my muscles. These were essential for stress management when I was on the verge of burnout.

OverwelmedAdhder

5mo

Absolutely. And they’re FREE and accesible to all! These exercises sound strange, but I do hope someone on this thread tries them out. They were very helpful for me.