I’m mid 30s and I see a good amount of my friends who constantly post on social media all the time about their lives, kids, vacations, everyday little things you name it. As I keep getting older I feel more weird about always posting and I used to post a good amount, now once a year or so I post but even now that feels like a lot.
Was curious to see if I was alone in this feeling as they’re getting older..
I am similar. I use FB and instagram but use FB mainly for events, local groups, marketplace etc. I have friends on there but have unfollowed most people who post a lot. Friends can tell me their news in person.
Instagram I have mostly to follow informational pages, recipes, places to eat where I live etc. I don't follow any people I know or ever post on there. So I can avoid being disgusted or annoyed by anything people share online because I mostly don't see it.
This! I still follow friends but I have muted them (or whatever the term is). I don't want to see their content in my feed. I'm on there for information eg recipes, fashion tips, career advice, news, celebrity gossip.
This is so interesting! Why don't you want to see your friends' content?
I wish there was a way I could only see my friends' content and avoid the algorithm "we think you'd like this" posts.
FB Purity is the way.
In facebook there is an option to unfollow. So you are still friends but they don't come up in your feed. A couple of times a year I look up their profile and like and comment, but I don't want it in my feed.
My fb friends are all mums and their content I find boring ie kids bdays x 4 pa, start of school year x 4, xmas Santa pic, kid certificate achievement x 4, mothers day, fathers day, family holiday, kids sport thing x 4, rants about how hard it is being a mother, wedding anniversary etc etc... And then multiply that by the number of friends. I find that stuff is more of a brag thing mums do for their fellow mum friends. At first it was cute, but x years later that was all I would see. Not to mention the constant comments. I work full time so when I go on fb and insta I want to be entertained, relaxed and inspired. I've set my feeds up to be holiday locations, fitness inspo, investment advice, recipes, style... things that energise, inspire or entertain me. The mum stuff just wasn't my jam. Also because I found my fb mums would often make kind of rude comments when I posted eg I'd post pictures from my trip to Egypt and they would comment something like "oh I wish I could go on holiday. #mums life". Everything was a kind of backhanded compliment. I no longer publicly post anything now. One - I dont have time to reply to the comments so it looks rude when I dont. And 2- I realised I don't like people knowing where I am. I'll tell you if we catch up in person, but realistically my photos are for me. I think I'm the odd one in this respect. I used to go hiking with people but I felt like we wasted so much time with people wanting the pictures. Now I hike alone, or with 1 friend who is like me ie we dont take selfies.
This is the only thing i miss about fb!!! I used to use marketplace and events, but it’s not worth it to get back on!!
You should find better subreddits perhaps. Or not. Just a suggestion. Niche communities on here that have nothing to do with politics can be pretty cool.
Not just in politics lol. When you actually know something about a subject you realize that a good portion of people who comment on it are just bullshitting. It happens on literally any topic.
this is the scariest part. theres like, two or three things max that i know really really well, better than 99% of people. i see them discussed on here and its like holy shit you guys arent even in the right time zone on this one
Yup, a lot of people are seriousky uninformed. Also have found that reddit's general viewpoint or perspective on pretty much anything (including very innocuous stuff) is often very, very far from reality and it definitely attracts a general type of person that I've come to realise isn't representative of the real world at all.
It happens all the time, but i like Reddit best for anonymous emotional discussions about subjective stuff tbh. It’s like virtual AA or N.A. for me sometimes lol
I am repulsed by Reddit but I just keep coming back lmao
My thing with Reddit is there are plenty of spaces for good conversation but there’s always someone to make things weird, stupid, or both. The declining rate of reading comprehension skills is on full display here. Someone could say, using a real life example I saw highlighted on Twitter, “If diddy did that to Cassie, imagine what he’s done to people who aren’t well-known.” Half the comments were like, “what do you mean IF? Do you not believe Cassie?” Exhausting.
Agreed so much! It's like people are just LOOKING to twist your words in order to start an argument, it's beyond exhausting. I have to remind myself not to engage. I just tell myself it's probably a bot or a troll, regardless if its true or not, it helps me to move on without feeling the need to clap back.
Yep. Some commenter below went ahead and hit the nail of my point right on the head.
I can't tell if you are proving the person you're replying to right, or if you are being facetious... and if I respond I would be behaving the same way lmao
Thank you for validating my point about poor reading comprehension.
The use of “if” in that example serves to highlight the established fact of his capability. While “if” often suggests speculation, here it emphasizes the logical connection between his demonstrated ability and the potential outcomes in other, related areas.
I seriously can’t even believe this is happening. I want to laugh but I think I’ll just cry
It’s called the “if/then” scenario and it is not to cast doubt or even taken to mean doubt is being cast. The point of it is to demonstrate next logical steps following from the first.
When people use the if/then scenario, it’s widely widely WIDELY understood that the “if” doesn’t apply because the “then” cancels it out. Ie “if you’re reading this, then clearly you have at minimum the reading skills of a seven year old”. You’re obviously reading this. Hence, “then” cancels out “if”.
Yeah but it's a common thing people say. "If you can do x to that fast, imagine how fast you could do y or z." "If they can punch a baby in the face, imagine what they would do to a puppy." No one is questioning whether it happened or not... they are comparing and implying you did or could have done more/worse.
Common sense ain't common
If you get good grades then you will get into a good college. The part after the "if": you get good grades - is called a hypotheses and the part after the "then" - you will get into a good college - is called a conclusion. Hypotheses followed by a conclusion is called an If-then statement or a conditional statement.
A HYPOTHESIS is a question.
That's a different meaning of IF and it doesn't apply.
How would you feel about someone clearly punching you in the face and the court of public opinion said, "IF they punched you", While you stand there with a black eye ? Its the wrong time to use the word IF.
How doesn't it apply when it's being used the same exact way?
You're trolling.
I am not trolling. That is how people speak in real life.
I hope you never find yourself as the recipient of domestic abuse for the people around you to say IF he hit you... the word "If" implies a question around whether something happened or not. period.
Sometimes people do say that not casting doubt whatsoever, in a supportive and caring way. Let's say I just shared with a friend that my partner hit me, and they say "If he hit you, then he could do something even worse at any time. I am worried about your safety, can I do anything to help" etc. I wouldn't be offended, I'd see it as someone being supportive and wanting to help. It's not denying or questioning it at all. I say this as someone who has been victimized.
You're putting the emphasis on the wrong word.
It's not "IF they punched you", but instead, "If they punched YOU, imagine what they'd do to HER."
The implicit If/Then structure emphasizes the act being committed by forcing a comparison between the people the act is committed against.
"If Diddy is willing to do that to a famous woman, imagine what he would do to a regular woman." The "if" seeks to emphasize how if Cassie's fame wasn't a deterrent then a non-famous woman would have it much worse.
No one is calling into question whether or not Diddy hit Cassie.
If/then structure isn't common in my own experiences. IF was usually said in that format to cast doubt around what I experienced. Sincerely , someone who was gaslit as well as abused.
As someone who was also abused, it does make sense that you'd have that initial reaction to the word. However it really is widely used in this way. I explained another example in my other comment just a second ago.
Yeah but it’s different because it’s if/then. Obviously if you just say “if” without the “then” then it’s going to cast doubt. If/then is not the same as “if”.
Appreciate the down votes. /s
Grammar Nazis are the worst kind of self important people..
Relatable😭
especially for those of us who knew what reddit was like circa 2014 (its peak, imo)
I've been here since 2012 or a little earlier, it was a cesspool back then but it certainly didn't get better over the years.
Yep, been here since 2010 and can confirm. And yet here I still am!
Yup I've been here since around 2012. I've changed accounts since then but I remember the general weirdness of reddit in the 2010s when an ex introduced me to it. Now it feels fairly mainstream but it's still the only social media I actively use.
Or just what the Internet in general was at its peak. There just seemed to be a lot more options in terms of what to do, what sites to visit, Web design and layout, silly little forums etc. Now it's just... three/four social media sites, YouTube, some shopping sites, some news. It's all sort of collated itself into one big targeted advertisement and I am finding my self less actually interested in it, but just mindlessly scrolling.
But can I tell you even 10% of what I saw or watched in the last week online? Probably not.
Same lol
It got better
When?? Lmao
Yep, the fakeness/performativity (my own included) started to shit me. So I deleted my accounts. I really don't miss it.
I don't count reddit as it's anonymous.
Oh man, the performativity. One of my ex-best-friends would constantly rant to me about her husband problems, and flirt with other men and even sleep around with colleagues! And her FB was full of how much fun they had together and how they were meant to be and what not. I genuinely deleted Facebook after that and cut contact with her. I don't need that kind of duplicity in my life. Yuck.
Ha yea the anonymity makes Reddit more therapeutic than anything at this point. No filter commentary is my specialty.
Nah, not since 2020 when I did a massive cull and recurating of my social media. I unfollowed and removed the high school bullies, racist uncles, and other toxic folk, and doubled down on feminists, artists, comedians, and meme accounts. Now social media is a positive space for me.
And now once or twice a year I "clean up" my followers and who I'm following. I'm of the belief that you need to add some kind of value to my life in order for me to give you any of my energy.
This. I’ll also unfollow or mute people without a second thought, mute subreddits that are even low level annoying, you name it. I also liked TikTok for a while (2020) but ended up axing it because it became overrun with ads and shitty content. You have to protect your peace.
yep. if i notice over time someone i follow starting to show gross behaviors, its not too long before i find a higher quality person out there doing the same type of work so i can replace a gross with a yay. delete the bad, it makes room for new to come in. also you're showing the algo you don't want more of the same when you get rid of someone.
This. I have very few followers/“friends” and still cull regularly. I only follow accounts that have content I actually want. I’m a huge music and book person and there would be zero way for me to know anything that’s developing or new without IG. But it’s not a toxic space for me. I have no influencers of any kind
I’ve found that I have more friends since I started taking this approach. But yeah, fewer followers.
Depends on how they post about it. I have a hard time with boasting/overly emotional captions, but if you're just showing me a plant you're proud of or your dog or kid, I'm happy to see it. I love seeing my friend's lives. Hell, I even like it when they post screenshots of their runs. You fucking smashed that run, well done!
This is where I'm at. I have family all over the world, friends who have moved away etc. Seeing their updates is awesome. At the same time, I have curated who I follow to the point where the algorithm rarely pushes me random bullshit, or things I don't want to see.
I hang out here on Reddit (which is social media) and I keep up with a few artists on IG (but rarely ever post myself). I've never had Twitter or TikTok and I feel like a lot of social media exists to a.) keep you engaging, b.) leads to doomscrolling, which I absolutely do not need and c.) has gotten incredibly invasive in recent years.
I've also got increasingly annoyed with how divisive it seems to make people. I don't need numerous, polarizing bad takes about political or social issues.
No. I don't post as often as I used to, because I know people who think similarly to you will judge me for it, but I personally like to see my friends and family sharing snippets of their lives and documenting their happy moments.
I work long hours and have become a homebody who prioritizes working out and cooking for myself, so I rarely have time to catch up with people. Social media is a window into their lives that allows me to stay connected to them despite the limitations of distance and time.
I recently ran into someone I hadn't seen in a decade and she asked about a trip I'd just been on and shared photos of. It made it so much easier to fall back into an acquaintanceship despite not having physically seen or spoken to one another in ages.
I think it's beautiful, personally.
100% this. I try to hold back on posting as much as possible because I'm scared of people judging that I "post too much", but I genuinely love casual photography and sharing the beauty in my day to day settings, hangs with friends, etc. And I love seeing my friends' day to day lives! I wish others would still post more!
And I def have a couple friends I haven't seen in years but we will comment on each other's stories and posts and it maintains that connection.
I can't tell if I'm in a lucky bubble where all my friends are genuine people, but I've never really experienced that "fake perfect life" thing that others talk about. I mean we all generally post positive things, but they are real.
I've never really experienced that "fake perfect life" thing that others talk about. I mean we all generally post positive things, but they are real.
100%. For example, if someone posts a family photo where everyone is dressed up nicely, happy and smiling I know from my own experience that the poor mother probably had to temporarily lose her mind in order to achieve the result. At least I assume this is a strong possibility from my own family photo experiences lol. But does that mean the photo is a representation of "fake happiness"? Absolutely not.
This same concept can be applied to pretty much any human activity or accomplishment people experience or want to share.
So, I don't get the hate, personally. Let people celebrate their accomplishments and the lead up to them. If someone wants to share their perfect cake, or their gym body, or their diploma, their new car or house... Like, let them. That took effort to accomplish, hours of practice, diligence, planning, and comprise. And they're proud. As they should be. What's the problem?
such a nice response. you seem like someone who is genuinely happy for others
Thanks!! I like to think I am. Was telling my husband the other day that the only time I feel envy is when I pass by a garden that has plants flourishing in it that died or are struggling in ours! Lol
I agree with this. Last year I moved cities and so I don't get to see my friends in person anymore. Seeing their snippets on social media helps me not feel so far away. I like seeing what they're cooking or where they're walking their dog or what their kids are up to.
Likewise I have acquaintances who will message me when I post certain things (like I bought a toy for my son and a girl I hadn't spoken to in a while told me how much her kids loved playing with it for years), little interactions that keep you connected. I really love it.
little interactions that keep you connected. I really love it.
Yes precisely! Thanks to social media I'm "friends" with people I've met once or only a handful of times.
We may never bump into each other again irl, but we chat online about all kinds of stuff. Hobbies, new shops or restaurants that have opened up, recipes, home decor, politics... I never feel alone even if the only people I've seen all week are my workmates and my husband. It's pretty magical, really.
Same! I love being able to stay connected to people I don't get to see often.
I'm glad to see someone else that adores seeing what their friends are up to! Im over here wishing they posted more, ha. I want to see what they eat for lunch, the pretty flower they saw on their walk, new shoes they bought. A lot of my friends are not local so it's nice to still feel like I'm still part of their life in some way.
Precisely! One acquaintance used to post the most beautiful photos of the sky, trees, birds and flowers in an abstract, retro kind of way. I really loved her feed.
She died in a car accident two years ago and I still mourn the fact that she and her unique perspective of the world no longer exists to be shared and enjoyed by others.
I am with you. I don't want to victim blame for others but I think a lot of the social media experience is what you make of it, because you have control over what shows up in your feed to an extent. I used to have well over 1,000 friends and I definitely didnt know most of them, let alone interact with them. I now have slightly over 200 and its full of people I actually know or care about, family, or past friends I dont want to lose complete contact with. If it wasnt for social media I wouldnt be able to make a lot of the friends I do thanks to groups I am in. Im pretty happy with my social media overall!
Yes. It's a good way for me to keep up with what my family and friends who are out of state are doing.
I agree, I really like seeing what friends and acquaintances are up to, how their families are doing, creative stuff they're doing, nature and travel photos -- I see a lot of positive things about social media.
My issue with social media is that ads and suggested post or profile take up over half of my feed, to the point where it's almost unusable. I logged into Facebook and counted how many post were from people or groups I follow and averaged 4 posts of what I follow and 6 posts with ads or suggested posts.
Also, I find posting images of kids on a non-private account has really started to bother me, especially if you're posting photos or videos of other people's children.
I would probably still be using Facebook if not for the issue you bring up. I follow a bunch of local groups, but am hardly ever shown their posts. I just want to see local events in my community.
I still scroll through my feed every few weeks because I have out-of-town relatives who post stuff I care about, but I may have reached my last straw with Facebook yesterday. One of the suggested pages clogging my feed was some ad agency with an AI generated image of a hot lady police officer carrying an oversized bible through flood waters. I have NOTHING in my activity that would trigger an algorithm to feed me that kind of propaganda.
I realized I was sort of living life with an eye on content for the next great autobiographical blog post -- this was about 15 years ago -- in a way that felt really fake / weird / detached. I was writing a story about the exaggerated character of me instead of living my life. That is what started me down the path of deleting everything but Reddit.
I think there are huge safety concerns in sharing when you have left the house and where to find you, I loathe passive aggressive posts ("here is my vague quote meant to hurt someone back"), and I don't want to watch people I care about spew hostile culture war content.
My siblings found it weird that I posted a picture of their graduations weeks later, but I didn't want people to know I wasn't at home and where their graduations were even though my instagram is very private. You just never know who is actually watching. People likely think I have the most dull life because my insta is 90% my dog and neat plants I've found, but I don't care.
I 100% agree that it is smart to delay like this!
This is how I feel but you've summed it up better than I ever could. Thanks.
I stopped posting but love seeing what my friends are up to. Love it! I want to see your kids, dogs, vacays, etc. It makes getting together in person so much better. I have context for their lives and we can have better conversations.
That said, I feel awkward posting because I have quite a few wonderful friends going through a tough time right now. We travel internationally 3-4 times a year, have a vacation house, and my work has a lot of perks that come with it that just look expensive. The older I get, the more I realize that even if I focus on us and the kids, don't tag the exact location, etc there are a few friends it makes feel bad. I don't want that and I don't want to put that energy in someone's life. So, I've cut back to the point I barely post (maybe every 2 months?). I also edit heavily what I will share.
You seem like incredibly thoughtful person.
Yes. Main problem: fake news, flat earth and other dumb stuff.
I don't know if I'm considered older (not 30 yet) but I've been off socials for 6 months and part of me is like, might as well make it a year! I think breaks are really important, and being inundated with the highlight reels, constant lowlights or random thoughts/musins of not just people you know but people you don't 24/7 cannot possibly be healthy for any of us, young or old. Just waiting for the research to come out and prove it.
I did used to try and post more frequently, but I'm not popular or anything (I've had the same 200 some odd followers for years, mostly only people I know) and none of the things people say about "girls on IG" makes sense to me or applies to me. My feed and followings have been tailored to my hobbies, interests, and people who look like me doing things I enjoy or want to do one day. Only have a FB for when I need marketplace or similar pages. I guess technically reddit is social media, took it off my devices and just occassionally linger from my computer. Trying to cut down on time here too. Off TikTok completely--the alogrithim got weird and the only way to fix it is to spend more time scrolling. I only want to get back on when I'm able to make content which will also be about my hobbies and interests! Keeping it fun and wholesome overhere.
Screen time has come way down and I actually feel alot better in general! I've read more this year, I stumbled on some of the creators I liked YouTubes and have been enjoying longer form content, and I think my attention span is slowly recovering/improving. And that's as someone who already did an overhaul of my social media to make it a more positive space.
Yes. I’m very passionate about this topic!
I deactivated my Instagram (which was the only social media I had) at the end of last year and my mental health has improved tenfold. People keep asking me to reactivate it so they can “keep up with my life”. It’s so strange; if you’re in my circle, you’ll be able to keep up my life just fine as, you know, we’ll talk. If you’re not…then I don’t see any reason why I should give two effs about a casual acquaintance or virtual stranger keeping up with my life.
Like you, I think it’s ridiculous how we need to always take pics and post them. Like who cares? WHO CARES.
I recently met this woman who would CONSTANTLY take videos to post to her stories. And she was heavily filtering them too. On our first meet-up she took a video of us for her insta stories without my consent which I found really f*cking weird. It continued like this for several more hangouts. I eventually noped out of that friendship.
I care 🙁 I like seeing my casual acquaintances' (and friends') lives
No, but I'm only on Reddit and Facebook, I curate the experience and my friends don't act like that.
I have one friend who sounds like a pastel coloured inspirational poster factory (yeah, I dunno, she's a really cool person irl) so I've muted her, and otherwise it's nice to have a casual point of contact with people, especially as I currently live far away from home for a job.
I used to post so much on IG. I’m almost 29 and I feel like it’d be pretty cringe to upload vanity posts as I enter my 30’s. Some of my younger friends are still doing this and I’m like “eh, they’re at that age.” But the ones my age who just post constant selfies and thirst traps? Feels immature. Most of my peers are focused on their careers, life partners, children etc. Being too online just seems like a waste of time.
I post tons of thirst traps…. Of my garden. My instagram is 90% plants 10% cut pets mine or my friends.
Sounds like the perfect instagram to me.
I stopped posting. It felt weird.
Social Media is horrid! delete all accounts (except reddit hehe 😚)
I'm 40+, grew up before social media, and I'm glad that I did.
I'd like to just look at it as another tool of connection and communication. It definitely has its uses and I know some folks do find those things in it, but IMHO there's also a tremendous amount of damage done by it. It is addictive (because it's designed that way) and a lot of people have really unhealthy relationships with it, especially young people (If you are a person who manages to have a healthy relationship with social media, good on you!). I see people tying themselves in knots over social media and it's just not worth it to me.
I only have a couple of accounts and they are generally pretty locked down/anonymous. One is basically just a news/emergency feed that is useful in times of crisis. I never post pictures of myself and rarely post at all, tbh. I'm more of a lurker.
Reddit is an exception because I do post a bit here but it's anonymous and actually very interactive. It's also very locked down so I don't get sucked into any drama here. I don't feel like I'm just yelling into a void here either. It's a conversation. But if it went away tomorrow I'd be perfectly fine.
I deleted all social media except for Reddit last year. I've brought back FB for the marketplace and to post my travels for friends to see.
I have less than 100 people on my friends list. I used to be addicted to FB but then I deactivated it for an entire year and now it just doesn't have the same pull on me. I actually find it hard to stomach these days because the ads have become ridiculous. I see like 5 ads for every post and that makes it easy to not want to scroll.
I have become addicted to reddit since quitting all the others and that is something I need to work on reducing.
Social media is the worst. I think the most toxic sites are the ones where people are anonymous (Twitter, reddit etc). Anonymity brings out the absolute worst in people.
Also political communities/threads are the pretty bad too. Breeds groupthink and intolerance for diverse ideas and views.
Yep! It’s just embarrassing. When we decided not to post our child on social media I pretty much gave up Facebook and Instagram and never started with TilTok. My real life is happening away from it. I still look at it from time to time mainly for info on local businesses. Still spend far too much time on reddit though reading about strangers’ problems so I can’t really feel too smug!
Because, what’s the point, right? Why do older people want to divulge so much of their private lives? Why put so much personal information out there? The only point, that I can see, is to create a false narrative of one’s life to garner admiration from “friends”. Our desire for the “hey, look at me!” should become more and more unappealing as we age. Obviously, that belief isn’t held by everyone.
Yes. When I was younger I craved that validation. Now I just don't need it because I grew up and matured. And you can always tell when someone is fishing for likes, attention or sympathy. It just comes off as insecure. When I see someone younger doing it I know it's just that age and they're usually just going through that phase. When I see fully grown adults doing it? Yikes.
I just hate Instagram. Can't understand the need to show off everything in your life.
I just ran across the "I'm rich, you're poor" guy on Insta. I've never felt more understood.
It's so depressing comparing your life always with everyone else's.
I can't really not be on socials because of my work, but A) I feel like I can catch up with people's licea B) My own posts feel like a diary and I like looking back at what I did in the past and what I thought
But also
C) I doom scroll a lot and I really hate it. It creates a buzz in my head that is not mine, I have no space for my own thoughts and I feel like my creativity level collapsed despite having so many inspirations.
I love seeing the day-to-day stuff my friends are up to! I unfollow folks who mostly post memes or random junk, but I love seeing my friends' lives. For me, the worst thing about social media is that so much random crap I don't follow ends up in my feed. I couldn't care less about celebrity gossip or hot takes from randos.
100%. It’s just a constant barrage of information that really does influence your mind at some point. I use Reddit still, but I don’t browse- more look for stuff I already am interested in. Still, it’s too much even then probably.
I got rid of Instagram 3 years ago as I felt the same. The amount of fakery on there started to really annoy me. I have Facebook, but very rarely post. I'm 36 next month.
Yes. I only have fb messenger installed on my phone, access Reddit via safari. The rest can kick rocks.
I did cut out social media a few years ago. I allowed it back in my life but with some tweaks. First… I muted anyone who wasn’t in my immediate friend group or whose posts I wasn’t interested in.
I use FB heavily for my volunteer activity (animal shelter) and to keep current on local events / neighborhood stuff. IG is primarily for dog stuff, food, and outfit ideas.
Twitter is for news mostly.
I kept Reddit. Otherwise I dropped out of all of them. I've gone back to Facebook when I take a trip because some of my old friends (who aren't physically able to travel anymore; we're all old) like to follow along, and it's easier than emails.
Yes, I used to really cultivate Twitter as a professional tool but it was starting to turn me off. Once Musk took over, I quit and never looked back or missed it. I have tried Insta a few times over the years, but ultimately I decided to use it to follow a few people I really like but not post anything myself. I don't want to use it to connect to people I know in real life.
I have it but I think for over a decade I don't do shit with it. Its nice. But i forget how much its a thing with people
I deleted my facebook over a decade ago, when it stopped being a feed of your friends and family and started being a bunch of stupid promoted crap.
I still use instagram but it's literally just a shopping app for me, I look for sales from brands I like and nail inspo and that's it. I don't really consider it social media anymore.
Reddit is more of a news aggregator/forum for me, it's not really social media in that I don't follow specific people and don't post much about myself.
So, I guess yes, I don't really see the point in social media anymore. I do kinda wish there was something like old school facebook around to just keep up with people you know but every single thing becomes commercialized and enshittified so that's a pipe dream.
I barely post anything on there except vacation photos, and it’s more for me than anything else. I cringe when I see people STILL over sharing intimate and embarrassing details about their personal lives. I feel like many people have stopped doing that, but there’s a still a good chunk on my timeline who can’t help themselves.
Besides Reddit, I have no interest in social media. I was added to my 20th class reunion page on Facebook and immediately left the group. Hard pass on seeing people that I wouldn’t say hi to in public and paying $90 for a cash bar and taco buffet. 🥴
I’m only on there for hockey related things, finding out about local markets, and my son’s school.
late 30s here. i don't have many social media accounts except i had a tumblr and i'm on facebook way less now. and it's not that i don't care about my friends' lives, i do, i'm just more focused on me and what my own family is doing, and i don't care to post it all over social media. i might post a funny meme or a video i enjoy, but that's all.
I find social media off putting too but everyone has a different line of what's acceptable so I just hide most of my friends on Facebook and I deleted Instagram. I also don't like anything because I just don't want the pressure of people feeling like I haven't liked their stuff. I think that's the way to deal with it. I just didn't like the feeling of being judgy so now I don't see it, and don't need to think about it!
Yes. I removed FB, IG, Snapchat, etc from my phone a yr or two ago. I only keep messenger bc I live long distance from my parents, and we video call at least once a week. I take plenty of pictures/videos of my kid, and I send them to the people I feel closest to so that they don't feel like they're missing out on watching him grow up. I don't need hundreds of people who've never met him and whom I've not spoken to in a decade to be updated on my life. 🤷🏻♀️
I rarely post anything personal at this point. I was a pretty prolific poster back before/a little during COVID, but I stopped for some reason.
I do still look back on my IG stories from a few years ago, just to kind of remember where I was. But I don’t really feel like that person anymore. She was more extroverted.
I don’t know, maybe the COVID discourse online had something to do with it. I couldn’t make anyone change their minds or bother to protect disabled people, so I stopped bothering.
I never post on my personal social media anymore and rarely check them--and when I do it is not to follow people I know, but for the artists/chefs/creative accounts I follow.
I post and comment on Reddit on and off because I like the topic-specific areas and the anonymity, but go periods of time without logging in here either.
I have realized that the updates I care about come from people I talk to in real life, either in person or in direct communication. The other updates I didn't really care about and frankly weren't good for my emotional health. And posting never got the kind of interactions I was craving--I usually was posting when I was most lonely, and looking to connect.
I recently saw an IG reel of a woman giving birth at home in a tub. Like literally her reaching down into the water and pulling up her newborn.
I was like...holy shit why would you post this? It's such a personal intimate, vulnerable moment. Even 10 years ago this would have been almost unthinkable!
So yeah, the older I get the less I care about virtual spaces and the more I search for in-person community and connection.
I am 32 and I only like to see vacations or good food. nothing else really.
My ex was friends with two guys, one was married and the other engaged and now married. Their partners were friends. I feel the engaged girl and married girl were close but had a weird fake friendship and weird competition thing.. the non married girl would bring it up at gatherings and the married girls friend would egg on how she “needed that ring” and how she was so jealous of the life married girl had. The married girl admitted they got married eventually because they got pregnant .. they had a big traditional church wedding I went to and I found it weird as lovey as they were they didn’t have vowes for one another
Upon hanging out with them more, the married girl would talk down to the husband a lot and post a lot of marriage content. I feel her identity was mixed with being a mom and wife and not as much of a person. I literally saw her yell at her husband to not drink a beer and she made a comment “do you want a divorce?” It was so cringe to me
It made me repulsed by the fake lovey dovey posts she had
I use Instagram like a magazine- I don’t follow people I know, just information things like recipes, parenting tips, fashion
I used to post a lot in my younger 20s and teens (I’m 28). I deleted twitter and don’t miss it at all. facebook I don’t post I just lurk my family lol.
So local events are the main reason I keep FB. All the local car events are posted there and are frequently canceled or venue changed last minute, so I have to keep up with that. But holy fuck the same morons from college are still gallivanting around posting the same stupid shit, how exhausting.
I follow a lot of motivational tech, mental positivity, funny shit, hair and nails, and tattoo accounts on IG. So it’s pretty awesome that way.
I never did twitter or TikTok because NOPE. So there’s that.
Social media is extremely toxic for me. I set a 30 min limit for Instagram each day. I do like it for new recipes and workout tips but it can quickly turn into doomscrolling. It blocks after I hit that 30 min. Deleted the FB app from my phone as well, but not my actual account so I can access from a web browser if I need to (which is rare). I’m much happier now. Only browse Reddit occasionally.
I'm not repulsed but I have pulled way back on what I post and share. I don't have TikTok. I just don't want another social media platform in my life. When I do post to instagram it's usually a story. I realized I don't often post photos. Facebook I check in on to see what the people who share everything are sharing. I remove, unfollow, block, anyone who is posting content I don't like so my feed is generally pretty good. Twitter is the one where I feel the most repulsed. I used to love twitter back in the day. The Trump election cycle just killed it for me and then Elon being in charge. I still haven't deleted it but I most likely will just due to how garbage it is now. I used to have a blog and posted a lot on there. I would not post like that now but back when blogs were more popular I didn't think anything of it. I am much more private on social media now and I'm so grateful it hadn't become a big thing yet when I was in high school.
Repulsed? Not exactly… I’m just well aware people only post their best days and “perfect” life (usually) it’s never that black and white.
Stuff like Tik Tok is 90% fake and just there for entertainment.
Social media posting just makes people feel better about themselves, whether it’s happy, or sad, or angry etc. We want people to know, even if it’s plain as day in the public, or passive to get under someone’s skin.
Bottom line, none of it matters lol. I’d say the only thing that matters is the memories (like pics people want to save for the rest of their lives)
Same. It makes me cringe so much. I wonder if there's a reason why
I think I’ve always been repulsed by social media but I think they’re getting worse with time. They actively enable the worst people to spread their hate and other BS. They act like they’re impartial but they aren’t at all. I use them as little as possible except reddit but it’s because we’re kinda stuck with them, the alternative being to shut up.
I deactivated fb permanently a few years ago and have been posting less and less on IG since then. It feels disingenuous and just a black hole for time so I definitely hear you.
Yeah. In 2020, I did a major cull of friends/followers (people I didn't really know because I just wanted to keep in touch with my friends/family during that time of uncertainty) then further backed off socials a couple years later when I was in a bad accident and retreated from socials to prevent hurting my case. Now.. I pretty much exclusively only post/browse on Reddit and sometimes watch YouTube and Reels/Shorts (altho I'm quickly growing tired of YouTube as a platform).
Nothing seems 'new' (because the algorithms did 'too good' of a job placing me in the right echo-chambers with like-minded people) but also everything is changing way too much for me to want to bother keeping up with (everyone posts the same fucking thing and it's honestly so dull or so clearly 'fake' - even the people who try to put up the facade that they're 'genuine' on social media are too obviously pulling strings behind the scenes. Which, of course, is fine... But if I'm gonna waste my time watching that kind of content, I feel like it's better to just watch TV or movies instead - where more thought and effort are actually put into the content).
I feel like the 'social' aspect of most social media is pretty much dead, too. There's some people that might comment back if you bother to respond, but you're mostly just talking to yourself anymore.
I think people should do what makes them happy. If you are unhappy seeing others be happy then you can always just not have social media 🫶🏻
I still have a friend who is 40 who screenshots me random conversations that her partners family has in FB threads and expects me to read and react … I finally had to tell her I didn’t understand why these convos were so interesting/funny.
She stopped hahha
I get annoyed at twitter because everyone is so bitter about how others live their lives. Same as reddit in some areas.
YES, i used to be an IG baddie! i would post all my vacations , themed parties & outfits , i was the halloween and themed party QUEEN!! people loved my page and would always interact with me ... but somewhere after 2021 i just felt so strange doing it. I just felt like i didnt care to share it any more & although i still do all those things i just dont post about it.. i kinda feel sad about it though i feel like im loosing a part of myself that i used to really enjoy but im glad imnot alone
I recently have had to cut down on scrolling for my own good, across multiple platforms. I only use Reddit, Insta, and very occasionally Facebook.
Insta and FB in particular seem to be getting enriched in rage-bait, or hot button posts that just get me worked up. Then I engage them to read/view, which just sends more of that same content to me. I cannot, I had to mute a bunch of topics/channels to keep my own peace.
I am noticing a real effect by social media (and the news) on my mental health. Cutting it down has made a real difference in my positive outlook.
Same! I used to love it in my 20s. Now? Not at all. I'll still look at some of the videos for entertainment but...even when I try, I can't think of anything to say.
tbh I deleted the biggies a year and a half ago (fb, twitter, ig) and i feel so free! i cannot even fathom going back. the constant need for validation and competition is just gone. i just focus on myself and my circle now. i don’t think that’s everyone’s experience w social media, but i dont do well with it!! i am so much more content now. if i did have it, id probably do the same and post every once in a while. sometimes i post a video on tik tok, but that’s more fun than anything else. but i haven’t heard of a lot of ppl my age feeling this way so im glad someone feels similarly!!
YES so it really throws me off when people way older than me are constantly scrolling and posting lol
Absolutely. I use FB for marketplace and a couple of groups which I barely look at and whenever I glance upon someone’s post in my feed I’m full of ick. I completely torched my FB many years ago now. It is the ANTITHESIS to mental health. I have an Instagram which I had to make for work and I use it solely to watch reels at night when I need a laugh. I spend way too much time on YouTube but there’s no “social” or personal action. Just entertainment.
Oh my goodness. I was just telling my coworkers this. I went back on Facebook to find a long lost family member and when I went back on I saw all of my old high school friends. But I feel like I went in a time warp. I haven’t been on it in 15 years and it makes me have second hand embarrassment on the things they post. Along the TMI on their kids lives. It makes me respect my kids privacy more. Plus, the ads are annoying too. I feel like everything is so fake and phony. I just can’t stand it.
I wouldn't say repulsed, but I definitely feel wary about it, and especially how much other people put into it. I'm pretty lax about my social media use, I mostly use it for sharing posts with friends and then I have my nsfw accounts for my fans/audience, and another for my sfw that's mainly portfolio and networking.
Everybody I know who puts a ton into posting constantly and keeping up, I end up not getting along with because they're just always focussed on that instead of actually living their life and enjoying the moments. A handful have to as part of their jobs, which is very different, but people who did it without it being about networking or publishing creative content, I just gel with.
Always feels like they're chasing popularity and validation at the cost of real meaning in their personal lives.
I like social media because it’s the easiest and fastest way to stay up to date with friends now that we all live thousands of miles apart from each other. I like seeing the little highlights and tidbits of people’s lives. Even if I don’t know someone that well it’s nice to see when they have a baby, get in to grad school, buy a house, etc.
100%. Have up FB and Insta about 2 years ago. I have become much more private in my old age, lol. I stay in touch with the people I want to in other ways, mostly texting and sending pictures.
I'm way less active than I was in my early to mid 30s. My kids asked for privacy several years ago and I've honored it, of course. Some of my FB friends still post constantly and I cringe at that. Like calm down, Amanda, it's not 2007 anymore.
Yes. I'm 35. There is good stuff on social media, but too much that repulses me.
Thanks to the validation you get from Likes (which may sound pathetic but to be socially accepted is an incredibly powerful drive), using social media feels like keep going back to an exciting yet ultimately no-good-for-you partner. I certainly kept going back for this reason.
I deleted Facebook and Instagram entirely (I had thousands of insta followers) and, over time, I'm learning to listen to my own instinct about what deserves validation. I'm trying to really LISTEN to what feels good and morally aligned with my values, so I can lean more into the good than the performative. I find with the anonymity of reddit, and the lack of photos, people are a lot more truthful and real.
Since deleting those social media accounts, my need for external validation is lessening. And amazingly, I'm actually finding my own voice - which feels so incredibly good. When you make content for the likes, either professionally or casually (perfect Christmas photos, dreamy travel pics, ideal relationship updates, dampened down views because your rage, delight or passion is too strong, etc), you filter your truth. I now 100% believe that lying to yourself, even 'little' lies like that, slowly rot your soul and make you feel more and more alienated from the world - because YOU are not being seen, heard, and accepted as you are.
And the people that don't see, hear, and accept you as your are, simply aren't your people. They're just Facebook friends ;)
I got rid of everything but Reddit and I’m on the verge of nixing it too.
I'm struggling with this, as I used to care about it a lot. I'm also similarly repulsed now, but it's hard to break the cognitive dissonance. On the one hand, I couldn't care less, but on the other, I'm struggling with feeling like I "don't matter" unless I can show that I'm living a great life. I started young, with MySpace as an early teen, and got sucked into it quickly and strongly. So it's hard to break the habit. But yeah overall, I've made great strides. Only on Instagram now and don't post often, and notice when I'm getting too sucked in and delete it for periods of time. Also helps that my boyfriend doesn't have any social media and wants absolutely nothing to do with it.
Thanks for bringing this topic up, it's great to work through my thoughts about it!
Repulsed is a strong word, but I notice how it makes me depressed and stressed.
Im only on reddit. Everything else, I deleted my profiles. It was too much for me. Also nothing seems real anymore. It's been peaceful for me.
Yep! I only post a few pictures every couple months. Do I care that a random ex-colleage went on a fancy vacation? Nope. Do I care that a former classmate just had their third kid? Nope. And it's all smoke & mirrors. Most of the people who write essays about their incredible spouse have an unhappy marriage off of social media. I've seen that again & again. I'm over it.
It’s all gotten really boring for me. Most of it is just ads. I stopped caring about more than half the people I followed, like people from high school and college that I was never going to see again. So why stock around for ads and people I don’t care about? Now I’m starting to use my IG as a personal photo journal rather than something for my “followers”. It’s helped make it more fun. Though, when I’m scrolling through stuff, the negativity in the comment sections always affects me too much and gets me leaving IG and FB after a few minutes.
Reddit is repetitive and I am using it less because it fees like people in the comments always want to fight and downvote you for sharing a different opinion. Though I usually end up here when I want a product review or tech help. I’ve been on tik tok a lot more lately, I like their algorithm and the comment sections are way tamer. Though I try not to go on for more than 30 min a day.
I use it a lot to keep connected with people I don’t see much. I’m traveling this year so it’s been a great way to let everyone know what I’m up to and still be a part of their lives as well.
Sometimes? I don't post that often, but I actually like having a highlights reel of my life. Makes me feel better about stuff.
One of my friends said that's primarily why he posts so much. It's more a reminder to himself that he is in fact doing something with his life. Plus it keeps him in touch with his friends.
I enjoy seeing my friends. Social media doesn’t bother me. I look at what I want to look at and mute keywords for everything else.
Social media is what you make out of it. If you get repulsed, it means you’re following the content that is repulsive for you.
It can be hard to resist, I know. I muted most friends I’m not very close with. I still check some toxic pages though. I think the solution is to learn how to control our behavior and set boundaries though, not to leave social media.
I can't even look at Facebook. It is so distasteful.
YES. I'm 29 and I think it's weird. I think especially now I'm seeing more pregnancy announcements. I get that a baby is exciting, but I don't get why you need to announce it to all your collected online acquaintances, just tell your friends ya'll. I'm also thinking of people with infertility struggles who have to see it. My cousins partner is younger and also plasters her kids all over Facebook and I don't really get why we need so much content of her girls.
I don't want to be a total hippocrite though, sometimes I am active on Instagram but it's more of a very curated memory book, only uploading occasionally when I've been to a wedding or a trip, or some really fun outings with friends I think will be nice to look back on in years to come.
Maybe that's what the pregnancy announcements is for these people though? Whose to say my posts don't make people feel shitty sometimes.
I only have Facebook to keep in touch with maybe 5-6 people I actually care about and to learn about community events or school activities for my kids. I never had an instagram or snapchat. I have a tiktok but I don't make content. I just don't feel like it's needed. I'd rather be anonymous.
I’m a millennial and have a couple gen z friends. They always post revealing photos on IG. It’s pretty weird to me. I guess cause i’m so over that stage
I don’t feel as strongly as you do, but I don’t love it. I’m 31. I enjoy posting fun outings and cat pics and stuff to my stories. Like a little “this is what I’m up to lately” But I absolutely hate some of the things people post. Aesthetic things, selfies, 900 reposts about how it’s their birthday, etc. It just seems so juvenile.
I have completely cut out most social media. I axed Twitter, IG, and Snapchat years ago and haven't been on FB in a decade. It took a lot for me to even start posting on here and I don't see myself using Reddit much longer either.
I just don't really care about the majority of this nonsense discussions anymore. It's always the same topics or falsehoods over and over.