Give us the best advice of your profession. Thanks in advance.
What is your profession and what’s the no.1 thing you would advise to most people?
Teacher. Don’t go into teaching.
Opened this thread to say this.
Honestly, it’s not a joke. Don’t go into teaching
I feel so incredibly strongly about this.
It’s not just the workload, it’s the daily violence and aggression that is treated as normal or even blamed on you because you didn’t “create the right environment” or whatever
The industry is about to collapse because of a recruitment and retention crisis caused by decades of inaction on workload, violence and aggression. The civic responsibility thing to do would be to allow it to happen, get themselves boxed into unignorable corner and a better system rise from the ashes.
I was on the verge of accepting a PGCE offer until I got advice from Reddit teachers and honestly now I feel very thankful I didn't go down that path. I used to teach outside the UK in international schools and probably was the easiest, the most well paid, and the best life over work balance job I've ever had. I thought being the UK, a progressive and well developed country, it would be similar. Seems almost the opposite.
It's a sad state of affairs that there is all this Get Into Teaching recruitment drives going on every week all over the UK and then new teachers are lasting 12 months before quitting. The government seems to be putting a lot of effort into recruitment but I see absolutely nothing about retaining and improving work conditions of already qualified and working teachers. Where is the effort put into pay, technology assistance, working hours, special education, social work, red tape and bureaucracy, respect for the teachers. Let's hope things will eventually be revolutionised. The UK should be world leaders in quality of education and we're falling behind very fast.
I've seen quite a few industries where the pay and conditions have been eroded year after year then when there's an inevitable shortage of staff they throw money at recruitment campaigns and wonder why they aren't successful.
The worse thing is, this sound eerily similar to nursing.
thank you for this
That was what my mum told me and my brother every night for about 10 years.
I believed her. My brother didn't, and lasted a year and a half.
Haha same. Parents were both teachers. We were brought up being told "whatever you do, DON'T become a teacher"
Hahaha mine too. I avoided it but my brother did become one,albeit in Australia. It seems better down there
To offer the contrary view to the prevailing mood here..
Teaching can be a very enjoyable, rewarding, and exciting job with very decent benefits - steady pay with 6 years of pretty automatic progression, an excellent pension, and 13 weeks holiday a year. There's a load of career development with TLR and leadership if that floats your boat,.
However, far too many schools cause situations which are being described in this thread - poor behaviour, ridiculous workload, a shift in expectations from parents, inadequate support for new teachers, the pressure of Ofsted. This causes people to leave the profession in record numbers.
Despite this, I wouldn't categorically say to not teach. I am lucky that, despite not living in a massively affluent area, I've found a school with sensible behaviour policies and a grown-up grasp of workload and work-life balance. I get to spend all day talking about a subject that interests me, and my work at home revolves around the same. I do some work on a Sunday morning and a bit of marking/planning before I go home in the evening. I'll do bits and pieces in the holidays.
As with any job, there's annoying administrative bits, and exhausting days, and moments where you wish you were doing something else, but teaching can be really decent career if you find the right school - and they do exist.
I agree, I’ve been a teacher for 8 years now and so much of it depends where you work and what environment you’re in. I’ve been at a school I love for 6 years and I enjoy going into work every day, the children can be challenging at times but it’s so rewarding getting through to them and when you can see them develop & learn. My colleagues are brilliant and supportive, I’m never clock watching or bored, every day brings something different. If you find the right environment it’s such an amazing career.
Left after less than one year. Kids are awesome, adults suck, and the bureaucracy is hell. A supply teacher I worked with on one of my placements was in her 70s and she told me she would pick what she taught the kids about at random. It could be polar bears one week, the Tudors the next. She did not have to plan every lesson in advance and did not have to gather evidence on every child constantly. Teaching is great but makes up so little of the job these days.
When I did teaching (2 years) I actually liked being in the classroom. I didn’t even mind breaking up the fights - I taught 16-18 year old boys. I absolutely hated some of the other staff though. I’ve rarely let a job have me in tears but I often had to sob in the toilets because the staff were nasty. The nice staff actually also left as well and I still speak to them.
I remember one boy came to my car while I was having a cry as he saw a dickhead teacher being nasty to me. He brought me some chocolate and offered to tell his uncle who was management but I knew it wouldn’t help. I got him an apprenticeship with a friend of mine where my husband also worked and they became friends and now he works down at Hinckley earning a fortune and visits us now and again. Nice lad.
I did it for a year then noped out. Wayyyy too much work for too little pay and appreciation.
Yup. I lasted until I had a neurotic break down filled with drugs and termination.
I've been a Primary school teacher since 2016. Best thing I ever did was start teaching abroad at a private school. Having smaller classes, support and actual budget to get resources is a godsend.
Yup. Only thing I've ever told my children they can't do.
I’m a police officer and I once saw someone make the joke “don’t break the law when you’re breaking the law”
It’s actually incredibly sound advice. If you don’t want to spend Christmas in the cells because you’re breaching your bail, don’t kick off during the family dinner.
If you’re moving a shit tonne of gear, don’t drive like a complete and utter dickhead.
If you’ve got £3,000 worth of drugs stashed in various pockets and in bags, go home and empty your pockets before you try and break into cars.
Most importantly, don’t regurgitate nonsense you’ve read/watched online if it was an American giving out the advice, it’s a different country with different laws.
Similarly if you live in Scotland or you visit Scotland, it’s a a different legal system with different laws, please don’t cite English law it’s really embarrassing for you and tedious for me.
One crime at a time.
Got it.
Avoid time, commit one crime at a time. Feels like the subheading for a crime Ted talk.
This reminds me of a knob head neighbour I had once. Made a living selling weed to kids. Wore a hat with a weed leaf on and speeded everywhere in a clapped out Astra with no tax or mot.
In the US they say "don't commit a misdemeanour while you're committing a felony". Plenty of cases on those American blue light YouTube channels where someone has been stopped for something trivial like minor speeding or a dead brakelight, only for it to turn out they're wanted for murder or the car is loaded up with Walter White's entire output for a month.
Yep, there is this video of a guy pulled over for speeding, then a bit of weed is discovered, then some bullet holes on the car, then a dead body in the boot. They still would have caught him, but not as quickly if he hadn't been overspeeding.
Environmental Health Officer (food safety).
The majority of the time you get food poisoning, it’s from food you’ve prepared at home.
I could write so many tips, but please, for the love of all things holy, stop washing your meat.
Oh and burgers DO need cooking through and should not be pink.
As a chef who has to deal with your kind (no offence), the most misleading aspect of the “scores on the doors” is the fact that paperwork probably makes up about… 75% of it.
You see a restaurant that has a 3/5 on the door and you think “god, must be a filthy mess in there”. No, it’s just the fact that none of the chefs have done any proper paperwork for four months and nothing is traceable. It’s usually just done out of casual neglect, not trying to “get away” with things
Personally I care about it. A business knows about the hygiene ratings and what is required. Neglecting it isn’t acceptable. Those things are in place for a reason and part of the process of serving the public food. If they can’t get “paperwork” right then I don’t see why I should trust them to cook my food.
Oh, I’m not excusing it.
I’m just saying that automatically assuming that a kitchen and chef brigade are all cretins who serve gone off food that they first smear with shit off the floor because you see a 3 isn’t a true reflection.
A lot of chefs, most in fact, that I’ve i know got into the trade because they were shit at school. Usually dyslexic. And hospitality and being a chef is a trade you can easily pick up and work at. Paperwork doesn’t come naturally, so they just put it off. Because it can be tedious.
As an experienced chef you KNOW when you’ve cooked that chicken breast, your 50th of the shift, but for the EHO side you need to be probing it and testing it every time. Why? I know what I’m doing.
So again, not excusing bad paperwork, but I’ve worked in some fantastic places that have amazing chef brigades that got low scores all because someone forgot to write down what temperature the fridges were all at at 7am, despite the fact you’d blinking know if one had broken and you clearly wouldn’t use anything out of it. But paperwork dictates always writing it down every morning
I audit pharmaceutical factories. If you didn't write it down, you didn't do it. If a procedure doesn't tell you to,.you don't. Evidence, evidence, evidence. What's the use in visiting a premises once and saying "well it's clean now... Tick."
I'm auditing a quality SYSTEM. I assume food safety people are auditing a hygiene SYSTEM. Not just how clean it is when they're there.
I mean, I do also walk around the factory and if someone is doing something wrong I write it up. But that NEVER happens because they know they're being inspected.
ALL the things I find wrong are with their procedures or their records. And it is a real problem. It's how you demonstrate you do anything right.
Absolutely this. Everyone tries to convince me they do the checks but just were too busy to write it down. They clearly never did the checks and this eventually leads to things going wrong.
Yeah.
"When did you last clean this?"
"Yesterday."
"Can I see the log, please?"
"Oh, there isn't a log for every day. Just weekly. But we do it every day as well."
"Right... Well please can I see the weekly log."
"Here."
"There's a missing entry for last week. So you didn't clean?"
"We definitely did."
"How do you know?"
"Because we always do."
"How do the operators know to do it?"
"Training."
"Can I see their training record, please?"
"Oh, well cleaning isn't part of the training record, that's just for manufacturing."
Aaaarghhh!!! Observations everywhere. Just makes it obvious you don't know what you're doing. No point seeing some guy cleaning something one time if the system doesn't ensure you always do it.
I understand that but if there is no system, or things aren’t labelled right then that’s when bad things happen.
Who the f washes meat before cooking it ? Bizzare
It's pretty common in some cultures. ( Used to teach cooking in a multicultural city)
Customer Service.
My number 1 thing to advise people is, READ! The machine in front of you isn't working because it is telling you to do something and you aren't doing it. That question you're asking me, it is answered in that unopened letter that you are frantically waving at me and asking what it's about. That information that you say isn't in the email we sent you, it is, it's there in paragraph 1, it's actually in the first sentence, IN BOLD!
READ!!!
Ok, but what's your advice to people?
Mental health professional in the NHS. The short version is, don't smoke weed when your brain is still developing.
The longer version is: a significant number of chronic schizophrenia cases, particularly in London, start with weed-induced psychosis in adolescence. Most younger people who smoke weed will be fine, but you never know until you know whether you personally will be fine. If you have a history of bipolar or schizophrenia in your family, please, please don't smoke weed. London weed has a very high THC content, so it's likelier to cause psychosis symptoms, paranoia etc. than the weed of yesteryear. They estimate that almost 50% of newly onset psychosis in South London would be avoided if not for weed. It makes me incredibly sad, because I don't have a problem with weed by default, but I have seen the devastation that recurring psychosis causes in the life of a young person.
And while I say this, I also know that no matter what we say, young people will be young people, so they will just keep doing whatever, and sadly I can look forward to a long career in the psychosis field.
I had a case of weed-induced psychosis occur. I’m in my 30s, spent my adult life going to festivals, taking some form of MD, coke, ket, mushrooms every few months and drinking regularly. And smoked weed maybe once every couple of years - purely because I don’t like physically inhaling stuff
Last year I took a few heavy puffs on a blunt and I literally lost my mind. I started having delusions and hallucinating. I felt like I’d completely lost all function and control over my body, I’d completely dissociated from it and voices in my head kept on telling me and showing me things that in the moment I truly believed. I have never experienced anything like it in my life in the 50+ times I’ve tripped on heavier drugs. This was regular weed that my friend had already smoked himself a few times, and nobody else in the group who were smoking the same stuff had any issues with it
I have no family history of BPD or schizophrenia I’m aware of fortunately, but I’ve not gone near drugs since because I don’t ever want to risk triggering anything like that if there’s any chance of any underlying condition. I’m hoping because of my age it was just a weed-induced episode but I can’t stop thinking about it and there are times where I get paranoid my mind might at some point slip the way it did that evening
I genuinely had no idea something like that could happen. It’s traumatised me & the people who were with me. More awareness around it is 100% needed
Seen this loads from my childhood friends. Basically anyone I know who smoked from a young age, and continued to smoke for years forming a habit... Has since been diagnosed with psychosis, schizophrenia or similar. Some have had their lives absolutely devastated.
I also smoked daily for 10 years. Fortunately aa nervous breakdown and severe insomnia gave me a clear message to quit. I won't touch it now.
Thank you for what you do
Quitting weed was honestly the best decision of my life. Within a few months I was a completely new person
I swear we are going to seriously regret the current vogue for pretending that cannabis is not only harmless, but actually a really good first line treatment for psychiatric conditions, and one that you can self-medicate with without any kind of thought beyond recreational usage.
Just storing up all sorts of problems for the future.
Doctor here - private full body scans or random "allergy tests" are not risk free. Over-investigation and over-treatment are real and harmful. Also you may just be throwing your money away.
Over-investigation and over-treatment are real and harmful. Also you may just be throwing your money away.
You've just described the US Healthcare experience.
You mean hypochondria inducing?
Pretty much. Get forty random blood tests done and one of them will be slightly out of normal range for no real reason. But of course you see the number outside the green zone and start Googling and before long you’ve convinced yourself you have advanced disease and need more tests…
It will always be the most useless metric that will be out of normal range too. Raised MCV? You were probably just be dehydrated.
If I just want a body MOT or checking that none of my moles I can’t see on my back aren’t bad, what should I be doing instead? I haven’t had these scans but I would like to catch something early if I have it
Get those moles checked, melanoma is no joke. Boots do checks you can book online. The MOT BUPA does is expensive but worthwhile - it checks real things (unlike random allergy tests OP is referring to) like cholesterol, body fat %, heart attack risk etc.
i work in cardiology. stop smoking.
What about vaping?
No vaping either
Try cocaine
Nope - you should only be vaping to come off cigarettes. It's less harmful than smoking, but more harmful than not smoking or vaping.
Cigarettes ----> Vaping/E-ciggs ----> Non-smoker
Non-smoker ----> Non-smoker
Vaping seems so much worse and prevalent I’m looking to invest in Ventilator tech, since people are gonna need help to breathe and I want to retire early.
Worse than smoking? Dr David Nutt doesn't agree.
https://www.drugscience.org.uk/drug-science-submission-to-the-who-enquiry-on-vaping.
"Vaping of nicotine plus or minus flavours is potentially one of the most important health advances in the history of medicine because cigarette smoking is the largest preventable cause of premature death worldwide. "
Wedding dress shop assistant - most ready made wedding dresses come from huge factories in China.
The wholesale cost is usually between £70 and £300 each. It could be passed onto you anywhere between £500 and £5000, the only difference will be how nice the furnishings in the shop are, and how good the “free“ champagne you are served is.
(Also, I don’t really care about your wedding, I don’t care about your groom, I don’t care about your mother or your mother-in-law. I get paid on commission… Sorry!)
Based on the bracketed sentence.. you need to find a job you enjoy.
That's kind of a privileged take, though
I'd wager most people in this country work... To live. We don't do work we actually 100% enjoy, that we would otherwise do. No, you do it for the wage.
Nothing wrong with that in my eyes. You only get one life anyways, personally I could give two shits as to what you or anyone else does as a career. It's a nice conversation topic... And that's that.
Do you ever dress up in the dresses if no one is in the shop?
We all have done but honestly, the novelty wears off pretty fast. We definitely wear tiaras in the back office though!
Supermarket delivery driver - don't be a cunt to me, I won't refund the shit you send back. Be pleasant to me and I might refund random things in return.
Hah I used to do this. One woman was substituted 10 of those latte in a can things and was so rude about it. I refunded 8 and drank the other 2.
For any police listening, this is entirely fictional.
I once had a full shopping list fully refunded after delivery. I thought it was an error and I got £130 back. Best day of my life.
Why would anyone be a cunt to you? I greet mine with a cheery good morning?
Oh wow, how long have you got? I could write a book on the of the shit I have to put up with.
Just the other day stood on the doorstep in the pouring rain, I greeted the customer with the typical "hello, you alright?" and got "ha, better than you". Instant cunt.
Was delivering to a new customer the once, greeted her with a cherry morning, and her response,
“Don’t take this personally, I fucking hate delivery drivers”
Charming.
Is it just me who has a panick attack trying to get the food into the house as fast as I can to pass you your crates back as fast as I can so then I don't keep you waiting or does every one rush like a nutter.
That's pretty common. My advice is get yourself an empty washing basket and just lob it all in there. You'll find it's much quicker and easier. Failing that, take the crates through to the kitchen and work at tabletop height. Unloading from the floor is slower and will hurt your back.
And I miss the carrier bags too.
I usually go by the standard of treating people decent regardless of their job because manners doesn't cost nowt.. I can't get my head around people being dicks to supermarket delivery drivers though they always seem so nice, just why
Economist. Start saving for retirement as early as you possibly can. Even if you just save £5 a month.
Because state pensions will collapse without reform?
No, because the state pension won’t afford you a decent retirement. You need some savings to supplement it and the earlier you start saving the more they will compound.
Psych nurse. Talk to someone. Anyone.
Also... Learn how to listen when it's really needed. Don't listen to respond, or listen to solve a problem. Listening is a skill that not enough people possess. Learn to listen purely so that someone knows they have been listened to.
I'm a mortuary tech in the NHS, I do 90% of the work involved in post mortems.
Stop smoking. Now. You're killing yourself quicker than you need to.
Post mortems did go on through the pandemic. Loads of them, it was real, it was exhausting. It killed a lot of people and it still gets a few. The vaccine isn't killing people. Stop listening to people online with pfp of them holding carp, when they're talking shite about Covid
Male suicide is out of control, as is trans suicide. Don't be bastards to people.
Mostly, life is short. Be nice to the people around you and don't waste your time with people that treat you poorly. You never know when it's over.
Occupational therapist - plan well in advance for when your body doesn’t work so well any more. For example, how would you manage in your cottage, with a steep staircase with no banisters, out in the sticks, with no internet connection if you suffered a broken hip and were no longer very mobile? Don’t leave it until you’re in hospital and it’s too late to move/adapt/reconfigure things.
This is why bungalows are so expensive in my town. A two bed bungalow is the same price as a four bed house and will sell immediately. Shame there's not more being built.
Police Constable:
Do it, enjoy it, embrace the shite. Learn to thrive in the chaos. And to members of public please keep reporting crime! ‘Police don’t do anything’ isn’t an excuse for the system to fail. Data needs to be recorded and intelligence for repeat offences adds up! Hearsay can be used in criminal behavioural orders and community protection orders against an individual or even business in the aforementioned.
And to members of public please keep reporting crime! ‘Police don’t do anything’ isn’t an excuse for the system to fail. Data needs to be recorded and intelligence for repeat offences adds up! Hearsay can be used in criminal behavioural orders and community protection orders against an individual or even business in the aforementioned.
I fully agree. Thank you for your work.
The most critically under funded or poorly run service we have.
I had my car stolen in east London on Thursday, they closed the case on Friday morning with 0 investigation.
The amount of ANPR cameras round this way you could definitely track to see where it got to.
But instead I had a telephone police paper pusher tell me it’s a lost cause.
An incident happened outside my house the other day, no proof and no cameras but it left me really shaken up and my boyfriend and friends encouraged me to report it online. I didn’t think much would come of it but two police officers came round yesterday to talk to me about it, they both really listened and validated my experience and have sign posted me for further support.
Honestly I was so shocked. You’re always hearing how useless police are and how nothing gets done but yesterday was such a wake up call to me that people are there for you and they do take crime seriously.
NHS Scientist. If you receive a transplanted organ, for the love of God please take your immunosupression, and strictly.
Postman - don’t grab the parcel if it’s half way in the letterbox, chances are I’m trying to get a photo of it on the scanner
:D I love this one, I can imagine how frustrating this is for you. I promise I never did and never will do it!
Retired. Do it as soon as you can.
Hydrometrist.
Those big structures in rivers that look like water slides , those are weirs, and the bottom of them is like a washing machine.
There’s all kinds of crap spinning round in there, and once you’re in there it can be very hard to get out.
The might look fun to slide down but please don’t.
I'm a Dustman.
When presenting your bins for collection, please do so with the handles facing towards the road, and as close to your neighbours ( pairs ) or as feasibly possible.
In cul-de-sacs. and blocks of flats with individual bins Depending on the road lay out and parked cars, try to organise with neighbours on bin day, a corner or section of road where all bins can be collected from one point.
Helps with keeping a good work flow, saves us walking twice the distance to gather bins up.
Extra point, Plan loading your bins, You want the HEAVIEST stuff you throw away at the bottom,
Hello! At Christmas and Easter I leave a box of beer on the bin for you and your team.
Do you get them, or do they get stolen? Do you want them?
... Granted, I don't know how you'd know the answer to he first question.
I always line my wheelie bin up so handles are facing the road, I put my recycling out nearly making sure not to obstruct the path. Then I get home from work to find my wheelie bin half way down the street and my recycling bags strewn across the floor. Get that they’re working to a tight time maybe but be nice for the consideration to go both ways, just a little bit
I'm not a dustman but I did manage them some years back so I'll chime in.
Tips are always welcome, but not all the crews drink. Chocolate or even better, cash is well received.
Recycling should go in loose, no plastic bags. Always bag your residual waste and your food waste.
Don't try and bully/bribe crews into taking extra waste, most councils have CCTV on their vehicles now, so they risk being disciplined as a result of you being an arse who can't recycle properly.
Dolphin Polisher
Don't expect any recognition or thanks.
Amazing, I’m a dolphin shaver. Never seen how the other half live.
Personal Trainer.
Most popular fitness influencers have zero qualifications or credentials to be giving people advice or even selling them plans other than "they look fit".
That's not to say people without a qualification can't be extremely knowledgeable, because they can be. Just like having that piece of paper doesn't automatically make you a good PT.
For most people, getting into a healthier routine is much simpler than most influencers want you to believe. You most likely don't need their branded lifting accessories, supplements, app, or 8 week guide.
Also a lot (and I mean A LOT) of people are enhanced and/or edit their photos and/or lie about the diet and exercise regime that got them their physique in the first place.
University lecturer. Don’t do a degree if you’re not really interested in the subject.
I work in occupational health - get up out of your chair for at least 5 minutes per hour
Also, monitor your posture
I work in mental health - be born to loving parents.
Will writers.
If you are employing us to do the probate on a dead relative’s estate, it will take months, sometimes years.
We cannot push you forward in the queue for a government department because the rules aren’t made by us.
Also, we have to charge for every single time you call in asking for an update on progress. If we have something important to ask or tell you, we will let you know.
My grandad has just written a new will making me the beneficiary to everything he owns, the main thing being his house. When reading over the draft will, no punctuation is used at all. Is this normal? The jargon makes it hard to read, but what makes it harder is the lack of commas. Also, what's the difference between trustees and executors?
Vet.
If there any way you can afford it, insurance will save your pets life.
The hound's insurance has tipped over £100 a month now.
She and I have had a chat and she's well aware of what happens if she gets ill after this year 😁
Get her a job, paper round maybe, bit of casual bar work
bark work
Even if it's exotic? I found most insurance use husbandry as a get out clause without asking about the husbandry, which they don't do for dogs ,cats etc
I work with business owners and the self employed helping them get funding.
I'd say don't run your own business, unless you're fucking insane. Also, you're the best people in this country.
I guess in realistic terms, if you want to be self employed seek out proper, trusted advisors. I'm paid by a public sector programme. Can't say I'm the best at what I do but I'm good enough, I've got no ulterior motive other than helping people who do really need it, pleasing my manager, and most importantly staying relevant enough for the next contract so I can keep my job.
There's an awful lot of really nasty people out there who try to take advantage of entrepreneurs, particularly but not exclusively young talented ones.
Go look for some cynical, jaded public paid advisors like me first. We'll tell you what's wrong with your business, ruin all your hopes and dreams, then hopefully tell you something useful before you go that'll help you make it better.
At least you won't promise a charlatan half your profits when you get your first funding round because you didn't know what you were signing.
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26d
Bit of a convoluted career history but basically I'm a half trained accountant, then been a HR person, recruitment consultant, admin, legal lackey and a few other odds and ends that add up to knowing quite a lot about a lot of things but not enough about any of them to make it my actual job.
But my first useful job in my sector was assessing business loan applications. Accountancy without being an accountant (financers hate accountants, they don't understand business reality 99% of the time) got me in then I got to learn how loads of businesses work from massage parlours to skip hire to battery manufacturing to plain old metal bashing just through assessing their applications and getting to know the owners.
I loved it for a while because of what I learned but then hated it, because I could see just how rubbish so many of our applications were but could tell them how to be better, but wasn't allowed because financial services are weird. That or I really thought they were worth a punt but our fund was too risk averse.
So went into a job where I could advise them. Most councils and local authorities have teams who do this sort of thing, and there are agencies who deliver the service when public sector contracts decide they want to help businesses but don't know how to.
It's a weird sector to be in but if you feel you have a connection to the weirdos of work (the lunatics who run their own businesses) and have either a very good general skillset, or a specific one you don't mind putting your salary down for in return for consistent work (there's a lot of older specialists who are sick of touting for their next contract), it's enjoyable enough.
Payroll.
Actually look at your payslips!
Amazing how many people don't even give them a cursory glance (online or physical).
Yeah. I was underpaid by about 80% last month because the office screwed up with counting my hours. If I didn't check it, I would be down about a thousand pound.
I work in cybersecurity.
Don't become a SOC analyst as a graduate. Even though it's the easiest route into the industry, you'll regret it.
Try and focus your certs and career pathways on security architecture, threat intelligence, reverse engineering or IR. Those roles pay better, are way more interesting, and you don't turn into an alert monkey smashing buttons all day.
Also, most university comp sci or cybersecurity degrees fail to teach you the fundamentals of contemporary DNS attack and defense mechanisms. They're stuck in the past. TTPs are constantly evolving every year. Uni courses evolve every 5 years or so.
If you want to impress in a grad interview, read threat blogs from respected research repositories such as Unit42, Silent Push, and Darktrace etc., and keep yourself up to date on emerging attack vectors.
Doctor. Stop smoking and start exercising
I've never smoked and I've already stopped exercising
Edit: you ruined my joke lol
Builder. Wear PPE from day 1.
Software engineer. For the benefit of anyone who ever has to read your code (which may include you in 6 months’ time), make your code easy to read.
That includes: giving things easily understandable names, avoiding cryptic abbreviations, and writing useful comments that explain why or how the code does what it does (if it’s not obvious).
"Write your code as if the next person reading it is a serial killer who knows where you live"
More times than I'd like to admit I've sat there and gone 'which fucking idiot wrote this' then looked at the change history...
If you work with computers then learn to touch type.
Doesn't really matter what your profession is but if you use a keyboard it will help a lot. Its a skill I picked up at school and has made my professional life easier as i spend a fair bit of my day using a computer.
I picked this skill up with MSN. I barely touch a keyboard, but when I do I type like the wind
I'm just old enough that I learned to touch type on a typewriter rather than a computer.
It's handy, but I've never been able to unlearn the amount of finger-force my typewriter required. I go through 3-4 keyboards a year.
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26d
Chef. Don’t get into hospitality
It’s fucking awful. I started working part time as a pot wash while waiting to start uni, then worked on weekends while at uni. It was a small place so I ended having to do some food stuff.
This transitioned into me doing a lot of food stuff, with my then head chef filling my head with dizzy dreams by saying I had an aptitude for the whole chef thing.
Finished uni, straight into a chef de partie then junior sous role in the same place. That was 13 years ago?
In that meantime I’ve dossed around head chef, sous chef and “kitchen manager” and “master baker” roles. In pubs, 3 rosette joints (no desire to try Michelin. Seems utterly joyless) and now a bistro. Why a bistro? Cos I get nights off.
If you get into hospitality, it means;
- 50-60 hour weeks as standard, usually on “contracts” that state 40-45. You’ll never do that if you care and or want your work place to actually thrive and survive to keep paying your mortgage
- never have a life. You work all weekends, and important holiday days and so goodbye to having friends outside of your workplace
- no work life balance. Too overworked to ever want to do anything on days off, so you tend to not want to do anything
- work with some absolute degenerates. I mean… it’s well documented how bad substance abuse is in hospitality, plus the people the trade can attract by being so loose with the law and rules (in terms of cash in hand payment for shifts over actually being paid/taxed)
- work your absolute ass off for an incredibly thankless boss/crowd. You’ll work yourself to death (again, if you care) in pursuit of being the best or whatever, but all you’re doing is making yourself busier, filling your bosses/owners pockets and seeing precious little reward for it. Pay rises are like unicorns. If you go the route of owning your own restaurant to get the benefit of all your hardwork? Well done. You now never get days off, time to go away on holiday, or any life. Because if you shut for a week it can be your doom. And you still make shit money for all that stress
- 50% of your job is actually cleaning. Yeah, you do the cooking stuff, but if you’re good and sensible it also means constantly wiping down after yourself, making sure all food is wrapped and properly labelled, kitchens always need cleaning or deep cleaning, as do ovens, fryers… basically fucking everything. You’ll always be cleaning unless you get a few absolutely solid KP’s, but they’re all off their heads and just unreliable. Mostly
So, yeah. Don’t. I like to think I’ve done my bit by over the last 6-8 years turning countless young and ambitious chefs away from the industry by saying how bullshit it all is. Most of the ones I turned away who I have on Facebook or wherever are living far happier lives now. I’ve been trying to get out for about 6 years myself, but yknow. Painted myself into a corner were I can’t take a pay cut to start a new career, and don’t know what I want to do because this abysmal trade is all I know
I’m a makeup artist, your makeup doesn’t look like theirs because that image isn’t real
I’m a coastguard. Don’t go afloat without a flotation aid/lifejacket, and if you go walking your dogs on cliff paths keep them on a lead.
the number of dogs and people that go off the cliffs is nuts, i do not understand why anyone would fucking walk their dog next to a cliff in such a manner that the dog has any ability to go over the cliff, or bridge, or any other deadly drop. Is it stupidity?
I think people assume that because their dogs are used to being off their leads they will be fine. What they don’t consider is that their dog trusts that they are safe when being off their leads. So when they usually go zoomies in to a puddle, they don’t realise the consequences are different from a cliff edge.
Leadership coach: learn how to talk to people without triggering an emotional response.
Police.
Don't go into policing.
(Retired now)
I quite like the idea of being a detective, or some kind of back-office investigations (computer forensics etc.).
Not so interested in spending my Friday night stood in front of a pub having to tackle some fired up chav.
Test analyst - if something computery doesn't work right, please give a step by step explanation of how you got to the point it went wrong, take a photo or a screenshot of the issue, and say what time it happened.
I love.those customer support calls that say things like "The report does not work". Which system? Which report? What parameters? Which security level? What error message? We need the details - the crystal ball broke back in the 1980's.
Finance. Don’t take out credit/loans unnecessarily. Huge car payments for the latest car is not worth it. If you can’t afford it now, don’t get it.
My mum taught me this if you can't save for it in the same period you can't afford it
Exactly this! Your mum taught you well. Too many people are overly reliant on credit. It’s unfortunate when it’s because they can’t afford the essentials but when it’s because they’ve been overindulging and living like their salary is x10 of what it is, that’s on them. Too many 21 year olds with brand new Audis on finance for more than some pay in rent or mortgage.
Housekeeper. Stop leaving your room like a toddler would, you're adults, pick your crap up.
Railway Rolling Stock certification engineer.
For the general public: please stop sticking your fingers in things. I dread to think how much money has been wasted engineering out sharp edges on the insides of things.
For train builders, operators, and modifiers: Please engage with the certification process early. There are so many holes for people to stick their fingers in which I need to warn you about, and if you get to the point where you've built it, it'll cost a fortune to reengineer it.
Electrician. Don’t have your house rewired while you are living there. Either get it done before u move in and it’s empty or move out and tarp everything in the middle of the room.
Working round peoples stuff is horrific. It will all end up dusty and shit however much you clean as walls need to be chased.
A single electrician can do a full rewire on their own with new board etc in a week easily. Working round stuff is months and will never be as good as compromises need to be made.
I tell all my friends this. Without fail their rewires have taken months and they’ve ended up having to move out for a bit anyways (mostly cos of stress).
Prison drug worker.
Don't get addicted to drugs, kids.
Solicitor - don’t do it. What you’ve read online about the law is probably wrong. What you’ve seen in videos on the internet is probably wrong and/ on American.
You can’t sue someone straight away. Do you not read the Pre-action Protocols?
Don’t ask me for advice on your particular issue. I don’t care, too tired. I want to relax
Postdoc in STEM specifically medical research. Do not even consider it, the wages are crap, the hours are ridiculous. You find the occasional decent lab but those are few and far between.
I don't know what you do precisely, but I have a debilitating disease that I really need a treatment for. Thank you for putting up with all the crappy bits
Nursing. Don’t do it. Appreciation doesn’t pay the bills. Lidl shift managers are paid more than newly qualified nurses.
My 96 year old relative has vascular dementia and has been hospitalised for the last 3 months in an "end of life" type setting.
Visiting him has been eventful to say the least and I have nothing but admiration for the staff who day after day have to deal with the smells, noise and abuse I've witnessed in there just in my brief time visiting.
Then to hear some arsehole of a politician saying they don't deserve better pay makes my blood boil. You all deserve so much better.
Reminds me of what my nurse mother showed me. One was a job advert for a carer. The second was a Tesco cashier’s job. The cashier job was better paid for less duties.
Psychologist here. Don't wait for things to get bad before you seek help. It's not for everyone, but a regular session with an appropriately qualified therapist/counsellor/psychologist is helpful for most of us, even if it takes a bit of getting used to initially. Oh, and don't be afraid to switch therapists if it's not working out - they won't mind.
Biomedical scientist in the NHS. The average person is pretty unhealthy and this is going to cost the country a lot of money in the future.
Software engineer
- If you are unsure or don't know, ask questions rather than go down some rabbit hole
- If you think you are going to be late with delivery, it's better to say it early and be wrong than saying it late.
- If solving a larger problem involves drawing the whole owl, it's probably the wrong solution.
Sprayer - 90% of your finish is about how well you do your prep.
Firefighter. Best advice? Don't join the Police
Police Officer:
Don't do it.
But if by some miracle someone does, keep good healthy habits, shift work is a pain, keep on top of your mental wellbeing and have an exit plan when you grow to hate the job.
I’m an editor. No, you can’t set yourself up as an editor just because you’re good at spelling and creative writing. Yes, you do need some training. No, your friend’s husband who was an English teacher in 1992 won’t do as good a job as an actual trained editor.
I teach pub managers / operators to be better pub managers / operators.
So many people jump into pubs and last less than a year. If you get it right it's very lucrative, but unless you have sales, marketing, basic accounting, recruiting, training, IT and customer service skills my advice is do not bother. It's also stressful as hell, can destroy your social and family life whilst ebbing away at your mental wellbeing.
Normally when you go to a pub and the service is poor, the beer tastes crap and the place is a mess is because the manager is not ticking all of the above boxes.
Tech, formerly cybersecurity but now doing something else.
Keep out of "cyber" at all costs. The technical side gets brutally complex (even if you already understand that technology) and attracts some of the worst stereotypes you see in tech. Maurice Moss is like Daniel Craig at times.
The managerial side is drier than Death Valley and attracts the LinkedIn arseholes who talk with their hands.
Massage therapist here - move more! Sitting for hours on end is poison.
Finance. You should probably be paying more into your pension.
Programmer. Google it. Just in life. Just fucking Google it.
Chef... EVERYTHING needs more butter and more salt and msg is 100% legal crack.
Environmental Scientist, want to reduce your carbon footprint? Decide to have one fewer children, that’s about 58t carbon per annum saved.
Bartender.
Order all your drinks in one go please. Don’t keep adding stuff on at the end cause we hate it.
What about if we fold a £20 note lengthways and hold it out between two fingers, then pull it back playfully as you reach for it? You liuke that, right?
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26d
Electrician here - call a sparky if you need electrical work.
The amount of times I've been called out because someone tried and fucked up and then made it harder for me so I have to charge more.
Or the amount of times I've been called out because they tried to do something and it caused a small fire or fault.
A £50 callout will save you money in the long run.
Recruitment. If you apply for a job put the correct contact details on your CV and make sure you have the relevant qualification. I see so many CVS with the wrong/no number and people applying for jobs they legally can't do or have no interest in.
Why is the market so shit at the moment I have been unemployed now for 4 months and it's easily the longest time since 2006? Is this everyone tightening their belts with uncertainty going on around Europe? If you don't want to answer that's fine.
Air traffic controller. Don't let the blips merge.
Dentist here.
Don't go into dentistry if you don't like people. If you have social anxiety, can't do smalltalk, or just find people annoying, then this career is not for you.
The dentistry itself is hard, but dealing with the general public is harder still. Some of the best technical dentists I know hate their day-to-day lives because they are on the spectrum and find the interactions really awkward and stressful.
Prison related. Don’t work with sex offenders, especially if you’re a young woman.
I work in insurance. Dont lie about anything on your policy, it will come back to bite you on the ass.
Also people might not believe it, but we dont just raise prices for the hell of it. The FCA wouldnt let it happen
construction. try harder in school
Customer support: no amount of getting arsy with me on the phone will solve your problem. If you're dissatisfied with my response then the best thing you can do is to ask about the complaints process. The chances are, whatever the issue with my response is due to a process over which I have no control. Complaints are almost always escalated by default, which typically puts you in touch with someone who does have some degree of control over the process.
Marketing
Make sure you have the best product you can, with great customer service when things go wrong or people are trying to buy the first time or again. Sort those out as best you can and then do advertising.
Therapist and Social Worker. Be curious about your emotions and thoughts. Don’t ignore them for too long. Look after yourself and try and find things to do that make you feel like you.
End of Life Nurse. Talk to your family about your death plans. Talk about your funeral. Talking about death does not invite it. Don’t leave someone floundering to make choices on your behalf when they are also struggling with grief. I say this professionally and personally.
Where do you want to die? What symptoms are priority for managing? Who do you want around? What is important to you? Do you want a religious or spiritual care or intervention? Do you want medical intervention? How would you like your funeral to go? Is there anything that’s important to you? What songs do you want played?
Talk about all of these things.
I’m so frustrated with my mum who won’t give me clear instructions and plans even after watching us struggle to plan my dad’s funeral when he died suddenly.
My husband and best friends all know I want to die in a hospice, I want to be buried in the ground of my home county, I want to be wrapped in a shroud and not placed in a coffin. I want a secular humanist ceremony. I want people to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. No one should be forever to wear colour and no one should feel like they can’t wear black. I want people to laugh. I want warm coloured flowers. I want them to play the Chain by Fleetwood Mac. And maybe something super gay.
Economist: it is literally ALL made up social constructs. All of it. Also, we aren't finance people, investment brokers or accountants.
PhD student: don't EVER.
This entire thread got me thinking “don’t get a job!”
Finance - FP&A
Don’t do it; any finance jobs tied to monthly financial close are shite ….
Can never go on holiday’s at start or ends of a month and expected to just work flat out late nights and weekends with zero reward or really appreciation.
To top it off you get given shit when you report the financials if its below target like you’re responsible for the success or failure 🤣
Project manager. Don't be useless or an arsehole.
Too many PMs - micromanage their team to death with meetings and minute by minute updates for absolutely no reason - swan about doing nothing but act like they're curing cancer or solving the problem of world peace - overstep by telling their technical resources how to do their jobs, often without having technical know how, or if they are ex-technical forget that's no longer their job - fail to understand what project management is and the responsibilities of the role - aren't people persons and can't communicate well - inefficiently or inappropriately delegate work to others that is our responsibility
Too many companies also don't understand what project management is and don't invest properly in this function so projects routinely fail or operational resources are left to try to manage projects without sufficient skills or experience to deliver successfully.
Contrastingly, teacher. DO go into teaching but DO find the right school to teach in.
Football development officer for disability football. If you have a disability or know a disabled person who likes football, contact your local County FA as there are likely opportunities for you to play football in an adapted format. So many people don't know these opportunities exist.
Video editing, accept that sometimes it'll take all day and you'll get absolutely nowhere
Chef.
Don’t take it criticism personally.
Delivery driver. Please set a safe place on the app if you want me to leave it. Shouting over the ring camera isn’t enough I’m afraid!
Market research.
For my clients: it’s too expensive.
For people: we’re asking you this so they can justify increasing the price.
IT
learn how to think for yourselves, not just assume someone has written down “if x then do y” and where it’s written down is easily retrievable
IT.
Do not assume your solution is the right answer and always google it. You might find out there are good reasons not to use it.
And don’t try to write your own code for something that you can get from a trusted library that’s being used in production by hundreds of companies.
Retail, don't shoot the messenger. We are minimum wage with minimum information and are dealing with problems as you present to us with no information from official sources more often than not.
I make balloon animals. Seriously, get into making balloons, I get paid like £50 an hour to just twist bits of balloon together
Software.
The code holding together your favourite websites and apps is almost all a complete mess and would be considered an embarrassment to the profession if similar happened in any other engineering discipline.
(There are of course ££reasons££ for this)
Joiner here. Watch your fingers.....
Railway operations. We're most likely not responsible for your delay. Please don't abuse on-train or station staff - they probably don't know much more than you do and their main priority is your safety. They want you to get home as much as you do. Trust me, we don't want you hanging round the station any longer than you have to.
Digital forensics.
Your spend 90% of your case work on catching pedos and seeing grim stuff.
Cyber Security Apprentice.
Make sure you are open to learning if you wish to enter any career within IT.
Live Events - Buy your tickets - don't plan them.
Systems analyst - always document as though the entire team will win the lottery and head off for the Bahamas tomorrow. Your documentation needs to be good enough that you can hire new people who can then pick up the project and run with it. You might remember your table structure for the duration of the project, but I guarantee you will have forgotten it in a year, and that is when things will hit the fan.
Designer. You will not earn as much money as you think and you won't get the chance to be as creative as you hope.
Pensions.
Increase your contributions, the minimum isn't going to be enough. Contribute via salary sacrifice if you can
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