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……”yes dad” 😞
"Get used to that joke, son. You're gonna hear it a lot...
"i guess you're meant to be Bi yourself..." Finger guns like a chad dad
I personally use this joke with the punchline being "you're bi yourself"
I pulled the "so you can't see me anymore.... Because I'm a trans-parent!" On my kid. They live with me full time now because their mom just isn't very supportive. I don't always get all the pronouns right for them or their friends, but I try and that seems to be good enough. On the bright side I have a whole flock of "kids" (early 20's) that come with me to Studio Ghibli nights at our local theater now :-)
And not a single one can see me... 😂
I’m sorry , but this funny af.
This might be my favourite response
Polar or sexual?!?!
Both 😭
Ah Christ, I'll put the kettle on then
As a bi brit, love this
The only appropriate reaction
The unholy trinity; Bipolar, Bisexual, Bi-yourself
It's like a motherfucking NSYNC song.
Honorable mention: bilingual.
Don’t forget Bionicle
When I came out to my grandma she immediately responded, “bipolar?”
This is actually pretty funny haha
I love that 10/10
You still have to wear a condom
Great answer, right here.
You still have to wear use a condom
Good point, condoms not gonna be effective if he’s the one wearing it while getting fucked in the ass
“Why are you wearing a condom if I’m fucking you with a strap-on? To be safe, bitch!”
-Bo Burnham
A good point actually… Keeps toys cleaner / safer to use
Yeah and then you don’t need to worry if your roommate cleaned it after they used it.
I mean it saves you from having to clean up another mess when you're shooting laffy taffy while someone is pounding your chocolate factory 🤷🏼♀️
Pretty sure that was in the draft copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
easier clean up?
This is important. All that time I thought I had to stick them on my feet like socks
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5mo
Who you callin pinhead
I think he knows I won't be getting any action anytime soon
Or have the other person wear it
I told my dad this when I was 16 and he (hardcore metal/rock fan since the 80s) responded by telling me to go listen to a song he knew about bisexuality lol
Edit: for everyone asking about the song it was “Bi” by Living color!
Was it the one by Living Color?
It was! i remember looking it up immediatly afterwards, its a fun little song (and I enjoy how positive the comments are)
That’s awesome that’s how your pops responded
I love that album. I’m a huge LC fan.
Everybody loves you when you're bi!
The metal community owes Rob Halford a lot.
*world
BRB blasting priest.
I'M YOUR TURBO LOVER 🎶
Back then nobody was listening to this song and picturing Halford getting railed by another dude.
BRB blasting priest.
The church allows that now? Huh.
The entire gay world owes Rob Halford a lot. Who else normalized BDSM gear to the straight world more effectively than him? Bunch of white suburban teens wearing leather and metal studs and assless chaps. He did more for gay rights than Harvey Milk and Will & Grace put together LOL
Chaps are already assless...
Pleased to announce I’ve sewn an ass onto a pair of chaps so that everyone can continue making the distinction of “assless chaps” for all other pairs
What can i say, he was hell bent for leather
Who else normalized BDSM gear to the straight world more effectively than him?
The biker from The Village People would like to have a word.
When I came out, I was crying and my grandad asked why I was crying. I told him “I think I’m bisexual,” and he responded, “I know that, but why are you crying?” XD
Excellent! So attuned and caring
The world would be a better place if there were more grandads like yours! I'm glab you had him by your side on that moment
I've genuinely never felt so unjudged/comfortable/safe as I do in the metal community, your comment just adds to this for me
People laugh when I saw metal is the most wholesome aspect of my life. But it’s fucking true doesn’t matter if we’re talking heavy metal, black metal, death metal, symphonic metal, thrash, power metal, speed, etc metal folks are the most wholesome, accepting, down to earth people you’ll ever meet. I am convinced if the whole world were metal heads there’d be world peace as we collectively head bang together.
It's cause people find comfort in simplicity and are afraid of anything different. We embrace difference, whether it be in style, sexuality or whatever. Fuck the system, you be you.
Few things are as comforting as when you fall in the pit and the "scary looking" giant dude covered in tattoos picks you up and asks to make sure you're good. Lol
plot twist: the song was I Cum Blood by Cannibal Corpse
A happy little song…
…about shooting blood…
…from your cock
FROM YOUR CAAAAWK
Further plot twist. Dads bi also.
Awesome dad!
“So you’re bi and still single? I guess ur BI-Yoself, son. “
Or on stand-bi
Or a bi-stander if he wants to be with someone who is already in a relationship.
That's trisexual
I think you mean trysexual
I was a trysexual as a teen. I really wish I was a succexual instead.
Try-before-you-bisexual
Try-before-you're-bi
or
Bi-now-gay-later
You just doubled your odds from zero, to zero.
One of my friends gives me so much crap for being bi and single, says it’s like playing on both teams and still losing. He’s not wrong tho
Twice the field and still no goals… tragic.
You really put the L in Lgbtq
How you open to boys and girls and still single???
Whereas the mum version is to say "Bi? So You've got double the potential partners and you still aren't married!"
“Imma start callin’ you buffalo, since you’re now my bison.”
Ha ha ha love it
Telling your child that you are still their dad and their sexuality won’t change your relationship all in a one liner dad joke.
If that is not efficient and effective parenting I don’t know what is.
One of my favourite ones was when a buddy of mine came out as transgender, and her dad said
"I hope you can still see me, because I'm trans-parent now."
It was a reach and cheesy as fuck, and it was still awesome to hear.
That made me laugh
This... seriously sounds like something my father WOULD say.
So nice to hear so many people would aceppt their sons/daugther
My father would proably say it dont exist, or that I am confused. In the worst scenario get angry about it.
See and now I’m mad at myself for not thinking of this. What kind of dad am I? Why are my dad joke superpowers failing me?!
I think somebody might need a paternity test…
Maury Povich: "You are...not your father!"
::: audience gasps and jeers :::
Put it in your pocket and the moment will arise. Bonus points if it’s at a holiday gathering. My dad is his dadest then.
Ba dum tss 🥁
What if it's your daughter whose coming out?
Hi Bi, I'm Dad.
“Bi Felicia”.
My response was “Okay.”
Then she got kinda mad at me for being so matter-of-fact about it, so I offered to put a rainbow bumper sticker on my car and she punched my arm. Then we were good.
Pretty much the same here. We were at the mall and she told me and I said "Thats really cool! You wanna go get a smoothie?"
Honestly though, at least for my kid, doing little things like wearing a rainbow pin and rainbow shoe laces for pride month mean a lot more to her than anything I could have said in that moment.
Ta-ton-ka
“I don’t care if you like boys, girls, both, some combination of them, or none of the above, the dishes aren’t gonna fucking wash themselves.”
"Oh, good for you. Now tell me who touched the thermostat"
Plot twist: It was the dad, the kid may be bisexual but the dad is bipolar.
That joke is fucking awful. And you know what is even worse? It made me laugh!
You've just explained the exact theory of dad jokes.
Agreed, but before that, you MUST say: "Hi BI, I'm dad".
"Hi Bi, I think I'm dad."
For full dad joke groans, you have to stick to their wording.
The fact this reply thread wasn’t the top comment broke me as a father. I mean yes: I love my children regardless of anything. Who they love will never matter to me as long as said person treats them right.
I was surprised this wasn't already the top comment
This throws me back. I was staying with two roommates, one of which never ever cleaned the kitchen after themselves.
When I raised this to the other guy living there I was told I need to turn the other cheek to the mess and be patient because they were going through a gender and sexuality identity crisis.
As this person was still able to go to work, hang out with friends etc I struggled to understand how the dishes in particular were impacted by this crisis.
“Well, maybe if you spent less time trying to fuck everyone the trash might actually get taken out!”
Can I change my answer to this?
But after, “hi Bi, I’m Dad.”
"And leave those socks alone, or at least use a condom. We don't want to have to get another abortion like we did with your older brother and the mattress."
"I keep telling you dad, he just cut open the mattress and stuck a cabbage patch doll i-"
"I KNOW WHAT I SAW!"
What?
"Hi Bi, I'm Dad."
This was my Dad’s actual answer
Good
This is the only answer
Came here for this answer
Why isnt this top comment!?!?
I read the title and before I clicked said "If this isn't the top answer..."
hello Bi I'm dad
I'm a Dad, I approve. Just give the kid a hug after. Humor and love are cornerstones of good parenting.
I'd have gone with "Bi, I think I'm Dad"
Dad joke 101 😁
My 14 year old hit me with the “I'm bi” remark last year and this was my actual response. We both had a good laugh. Followed up the joke with “that's cool man just be happy and be with someone who treats you well” It was a really good conversation.
My 11 year old said she thinks she’s pan because love is love and gender doesn’t matter. I told her that’s fine, but please let me know if she’s having a girlfriend over as opposed to a girl friend so that I don’t accidentally say the wrong thing and embarrass her.
You're going to spend like 84% of the next seven years embarrassing her no matter what you do.
The one I got was "cool, don't date an asshole. Now hold the flashlight higher I can't fucking see"
That's risky, dropping that in a situation where he has a 99% rage buff
AZIZ LIGHT!
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5mo
"Cool. Hope that's working for you, I think it's great. So anyway, did you fill up the car on the way home like I asked you to?"
“No? Well, off you go then.l
You mean "No? Bi then"
Fucking perfect.
I like a lot of the jokes in here but this one is the best bi far.
Edit - HAAAA. I literally just got out of the car 60 seconds after typing this and my grandmother and grandfather judt said “bye” and I got a nice little chuckle out of it.
Ah great, now I have to hear how you were rejected twice as much?
No, bro this is the truth and it's way to harsh, holy shit brings back memories
For real dude. I'm bi and still single
Playing both sides and still losing
Skill issue fr 💀
bi yourself
Double the dating pool and still can't get wet.
huh, so its you who put the L in LGBT?
"Ask your mother."
By what? Finish your damn sentences, Billy..
Doubling your chances, eh? Good on ya, son. Go forth and fuck.
’go forth and fuck’ is my new favourite sentence
No one tell dad 2*0 =0
Let us comence forth
I told my dad this as an April fools joke a long time ago and he responded “at least you’re not gay”
At least you're not protestant - Catholic dad
As a catholic, yes
Thy shall not reject the infallibility of his holiness the Pope.
My coworker used to work at a summer camp when he was in college. One of the campers he supervised was an Italian kid visiting for the summer, who happened to be Catholic. Amongst the many many things we like to quote from the kid, one of the best ones is, (in a super thick Italian accent) “I am Catholic, but the Pope is not infallible.”
Cool. Love you. Want some pizza?
I am proud of you, 🦬
"Cool. D'you want to talk about it?"
Feels like this should be a more popular answer, even though the others seem to be in favor of keeping it simple and emphasizing "I accept you fully and when seen through that lens this is not a big deal."
The best response is to let your kid know that doesn't affect how you view them or treat them. Add in dad jokes as nessisary, but you gotta make sure you're supportive.
Edit: Not serious about the dad jokes. IMO, if your kid and you joke with each other often, a positive joke could be warrented after more serious talks. But, this is likely an emotionally charged situation, and your kid wants affirmation and belonging right now.
“Gay, straight, or bi, the rules stay the same. Wear protection. Recognize the signs of an abusive relationship. Find someone you’ll be happy with. And do the goddamn dishes before I break my foot off in your ass.”
At least that’s how my dad would have handled it.
As long as you don’t insinuate their sexuality is irrelevant to you. For example, don’t say something like ‘I don’t care wether you like boys or girls or both, it’s all the same to me’. Coming out is often a big deal to someone. Don’t be dismissive of how significant it is to your kid. Thank them for sharing it with you, tell them you’re proud of them, and ask them if there’s anything they’d like to share about discovering they were bi.
"Hi, bi. I think I'm dad."
"Is that all? I was worried that you were going to tell me that you had a terminal illness or something"
Riff after the question mark as appropriate with your child.
I’m Tableau
I don't know if it's the best response exactly, but when my daughter told me she was bi my response was "ok, what do you want for dinner?".
It's never mattered to me or my wife what sexuality our kids are so her saying she's bi is as impactful to me as if my son had told me he's straight (he is, but didn't feel it necessary to announce it because it's "normal"). All we care about is that they're happy, it doesn't matter to us who they're attracted to. Non-hetero sexualities really need to be recognised as being just as normal as heterosexuality is, especially by parents.
On the one hand, I think it's good to react like it's just a very normal thing, but on the other the reality is that it took courage for your kid to come out to you and they've done so in a world that can be pretty hostile, so it's important not to brush off their coming out like it's not important. It is important. They need to know that you've got their back not just that you're not upset, and that you recognize and value the trust they've put in you by telling you.
I'm lucky enough to have amazing kids that I'm extremely close to and have raised them to know they could always rely on my full support with anything, and that anything they tell me will never change my unwavering and unconditional love for them. They've both (20 & 23 now) spoken totally openly with me (and I have with them) their whole lives and I'm really grateful to have that relationship with them.
Your advice on acceptance and reassurance is perfect, but I have the same values and I've raised my kids like that too. They have known since they could speak that there was no risk in telling me this sort of thing, the only reaction would be love. As it should be.
So am i...
I casually came out to my Jewish dad as bi when I was 18 being like “I have a date to the prom, her name is Emma.” My dad was like “is she a doctor?”
I’m bi winning. I win here, I win there
🎶it might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie baby bi bi bi🎶
Are you a bi… cycle?
Best response is “cool— what do you want for dinner tonight?”
In the words of the immortal Chang from community: "Hah! Gaaaayyy" and just walk away
"You only just realised that?"
"That's cool. Did you clean your room yet like we asked?"
You think or you know? Because I know that no matter what you tell me, my love for you could never change.
A Power BI you say, I think we have that at work.
Cool. Is your homework done?
OK. I love you.
hi bi I'm Dad
Hi Bi, i think I'm dad.
Oh, ok. Is there anything I can help you with now? Let me know what you need if anything does comes up. I love you. Would you like a cup of tea?
Hello Bi, I think I'm dad?
"So your saying that you could date anyone"
"yes dad"
"And yet here you are still not getting any?"
sighs "yes dad"
I came out to my dad 2 years ago saying this. He just pat me on the back as said "I already knew. Now I'm going to teach you how to pick up girls."
Congratulations! Now let's have a wonderful Christmas
"So... that means if you're dating a girl, you're still bi?"
"Yes dad."
"And if you're dating a boy, you're still bi?"
"That's right dad"
"And if you're not dating anybody, you're on standbi?"